Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Here we go again, on the go till we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So 1, 2, 3 now, baby, here we go.

Here we go, here we go, on a mission undercover and we're

in control.

Here we go, here we go, totally spies,

mmm-yeah, make it show.

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

[grunting]

-[gasps]

It's more beautiful than I ever dared to imagine.

-Ah!

[yelling]

[coughing]

-Professor Elliot?

-Saving penguins from melting glaciers was, like, the worst

mission ever.

I mean, for such nicely dressed birds, they were

totally rude.

-Yeah.

-If it wasn't for that little Arctic shopping mall we

stopped at on the way back from the polar circle, the

mission would have been a total washout.

-Isn't that the truth.

I just can't wait to show everybody my new mood ring

that I bought in that cute little chalet jewelry shop.

-Uh.

-Oh.

Hey.

-What?

-(DISAPPOINTED) Oh.

We missed the Most Charitable Teen contest.

-But at least are back in time for the charity dance.

-Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

-Another thinly veiled popularity contest for

overachievers?

-No.

I'm thinking it's the perfect opportunity to show

off my new mood ring.

I have to go into super show-off mode right away.

Let's see, what color dress would best accent my ring?

-Well, at least some things never change.

MALE SPEAKER (PA SYSTEM): Attention all students, the

winner of this year's Most Charitable Teen award is

Mandy.

-[gasps]

Mandy most charitable teen?

We're gone for one weekend and the entire world goes insane?

-[offended scoff]

The only one who's insane around here is you, for

thinking I wouldn't walk away with this contest hands down.

The fact is, I happen to be the most giving

person at Bev High.

Of course, promising to donate my new genuine 10-carot ruby

ring didn't hurt my chances either.

-Oh!

-Does that thing come with a dimmer switch?

-Brilliant, isn't it?

I guess you'll just have to show off that trinkety little

mood ring somewhere else, Clover.

-Please.

Like, I really care about some pathetic contest

or your gaudy ring.

-[offended scoff]

Well, then how come your mood ring is glowing

bright green with envy?

See you losers at the dance.

[frustrated huffing]

-No!

[game whistle]

-Hey!

I'll get it.

-No, I'll get the ball.

After all, I am Beverly High's Most Charitable Teen.

Huh?

(ANGRY) Ooh!

I know I'll never hear the end of this charity thing.

Hmm?

-(TOGETHER) Oh.

-Look.

It's Mandy's ring.

-Hey, guys, wasn't that equipment shed, like, on the

other side of the field five minutes ago?

-Clover, what are you doing?

-I don't seen any harm in just trying it on real quick?

[rumbling]

-Umm, guys?

[yelling]

-Whoa!

-Couldn't you have pointed that shed out a

little sooner, Alex?

-Oh.

-Oh.

-Oh, excellent.

Right on "shed-ule" for your latest mission.

Get it?

[chuckles]

"Shed-ule."

-Yes, unfortunately we get it, Jerry.

[grunting]

-Ooh, I don't think I've seen this flick.

-Well, there you have it.

-Talk about your cliffhangers.

-Hey, Jerr, if we knew this was a movie party, we'd have

brought popcorn and pillows.

-And better movies.

-Oh, this is not a movie, girls.

It's actual Temple of Bennu, an ancient mummy's tomb.

And the professor you saw has really vanished.

At least that's the story according to his young

assistant, Ian Flemish, when we found him wandering in the

desert mumbling about a curse.

-(NERVOUS) Ah.

Like, a real curse?

Do our gadgets even work against curses, Jerry?

-Don't worry, Alex.

There's no such thing as a real curse.

-Yeah, remember?

We're spies.

We deal in fact, not chasing after missing Easter bunnies.

-Yeah, right.

Wait, the Easter Bunny's missing?

[laughs]

Just kidding, guys.

I know the Easter Bunny is tucked away safe in his little

toadstool house up in the fjords of British Columbia.

-And on that illuminating note, if you girls will follow

me, I'll give you your gadgets.

To help you find the missing professor, you will be

supplied with laser lipsticks, tornado-in-a-can hairspray,

and a brand-new item, the Turbo Shovel 2.0.

Oh, and I almost forgot this book on the mysteries of

ancient Egypt.

-Ew.

Why is it so old and crusty?

-It was mine in college.

[laughter]

-Now, that's a funny joke, Jerry.

-That wasn't a joke.

-Oops.

My bad.

-(TOGETHER) Whoa!

Whoa!

[church bell ringing]

-Is it me, or does the air pressure in the WOOHP

subatomic jet make anyone else's ears ring?

-Speaking of rings, Clover, you'd better call Mandy and

let her know you found hers.

-I guess you're right, Sam.

But doing the right thing can sometimes be so annoying.

Hello, Mandy, it's Clover.

I just called to tell you that I found your--

-Clover?

[offended scoff]

I don't know why you're calling me, but could you

please not tie up my line right now?

I am in the middle of a crisis.

My ring is missing!

-Oh, great.

Now how am I going to finish telling Mandy off?

-You can tell her later.

Let's get out of here.

-Whoa.

-Ew.

What a creepy place.

-Yeah.

Who's his decorator?

Dracula?

-Good afternoon, ladies.

Oh.

Sorry if I startled you.

I was just looking for my cuff link.

It must be around here somewhere.

-Uh.

Maybe we can help.

-We're the spies from WOOHP.

I'm Sam, and this is Clover and Alex.

You must be Ian.

-Welcome to Oxford.

From What Jerry has told me, you're just the girls to help

me find the second scarab of Isis.

-The second scarab of Isis?

We thought we were supposed to help you

find the missing professor.

-Yes, but unfortunately I'm afraid Professor Elliot is

beyond finding.

You see, he fell victim to the Curse of Amon-Ra.

(NERVOUS) Uh, the Curse of Amon-Ra?

-Can you tell us exactly how the professor disappeared?

-I couldn't really say.

You see, one moment he was standing next to me, and the

next he was gone.

-See, guys?

I knew curses were real.

-Yeah, real phony.

Now, if you could just show us where you last saw the

professor, we'll take it from there.

-Certainly.

If you ladies will excuse me, I need to prepare for our trip

to the desert.

And please be careful not to touch anything in this room.

Several of these items are cursed.

-Where'd he go?

-Don't you just love the way he's so dark and mysterious?

-I can't believe an educated person would

actually believe in curses.

-Really?

I mean, as if something bad could happen just by opening

some old armoire.

Puh-lease.

There's nothing inside here but some old black socks.

-Uh, Clover, that's not an armoire.

-And those aren't socks.

-Bats.

Let's get out of here.

-Sorry about the bats, Clover.

But I trust you've learned these curses aren't to be

taken lightly.

-Yeah, right.

Like, I'm really cursed.

Whatever.

-So how long do curses usually last, Ian?

-It depends upon the curse.

Some for only a day, some for an eternity.

-Why are the scarabs cursed, Ian?

-To keep them out of the hands of evil-doers.

You see, when both scarabs are put together like a puzzle at

the base of the Temple of Isis, they will give whoever

possesses them eternal life and power.

-Wow.

I guess we'd better make sure the second scarab doesn't fall

into the wrong hands.

-Yeah, eternal life and power.

Right.

-There it is.

-Buckle up, spies.

We're heading off-road.

-This is where Professor Elliot disappeared.

-Uh, Sammy, you can explain this, can't you?

-It says in the book Jerry gave us that these tombs are

often filled with hidden booby traps.

But I don't see anything up here.

-This is ridiculous.

There's gotta be a clue around here somewhere.

The problem is we're obviously not working in the right--

ah!

Oh!

-Clover?

-Hmm.

-Way to go, Clover.

You found our first clue.

-And maybe the second, seeing as I fell on this.

-It's a cuff link with the Oxford seal on it.

It must be Ian's.

-Impossible.

I've never been in this tunnel before.

-Maybe it belongs to Professor Elliot.

Maybe he fell down here.

-And that would explain how he disappeared.

See?

I knew there was a simple non-curse

explanation for all this.

-So, Clover, what's the simple explanation for why the ground

is slithering under your feet?

[snakes hissing]

-Simple.

I'm standing in a nest of snakes.

[screaming]

-Maybe there is something in this curse thing after all.

-The talisman says that the second scarab is somewhere

here, in the ruins of the Temple of the Moon.

-That talisman thingy couldn't be a little more

specific, could it?

Digging up this place could take forever.

-Not with the Turbo Shovel 2.0.

-Uh, Clover, are you sure you know how to use that thing?

-What's to know?

It's a shovel with a button.

What could be more simple?

Whoa!

Can't hold on much longer!

Ugh.

Like, gross.

-So much for the Turbo Shovel 2.0.

Maybe the Turbo Shovel 3.0 will be better.

-So what do we do now?

-Hey, maybe the writing on that stone box can help us.

-That's just like the box in the tomb where Professor

Elliot disappeared.

-Wow.

It's the second scarab.

-Oh.

Wouldn't this make, like, the hottest hair clip?

[nervous chuckles]

[gasps]

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): It's the curse!

[screaming]

-Clover, look!

-Hey!

-These tunnels must run throughout the entire valley.

-Huh?

-Alex and Ian are totally gone.

Now we have to find them and the missing professor.

-Don't you think it's strange that only Professor Elliot

disappeared from that tomb and not Ian?

-And then we found the cuff link in the tunnel, where he

said he'd never been before.

But why would Ian lie to us?

-I don't know, but I'm calling Jerry to see if he has any

more info on our mysterious Ian.

JERRY (VOICEMAIL): Hello.

You've reached Jerry at WOOHP headquarters.

I'm having high tea right now, so please--

-The English are so weird.

JERRY (VOICEMAIL): Ta-ta.

[voicemail beep]

-Need more info on Ian, Jerry.

Call us back.

-Any other ideas?

-How about we find out where this tunnel leads.

-Yeah, I guess.

But honestly, I was hoping you'd want to try and find a

mall instead.

[sighs]

Ew!

Tunnel gunk.

That's the last time I wear designer boots to the desert.

[grunting]

-Wait a sec.

Apparently our mysterious curse needs axle grease.

[loud rumble]

-(TOGETHER) Whoa.

-Ah!

-Ah.

-What is that thing?

-I don't know.

-Ah!

Ah!

-I can't believe I'm about to become worm food.

-We can't outrun it.

We'll have to jump in.

-Huh?

-Go!

-Here goes nothing.

[gasps]

-Looks like someone's been busy

stealing ancient artifacts.

[phone ring]

-How's the mission going, spies?

-Great, except that we temporarily misplaced Ian and

Alex, and I'm officially cursed.

-Oh.

Uh, bummer.

Well, I'm pulling up Ian's file as we speak.

Let's see.

Nothing much really here, other than he's extremely

ambitious and looks to be in line for

Professor Elliot's job.

-In line for Professor Elliot's job, huh?

Thanks, Jerry.

Clover, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

-Yes.

If we don't get out of this worm thing soon, the humidity

is going to, like, permanently frizz out our hair.

-No.

Ian kidnapped the professor so he'd be promoted.

[muffled speech]

-[gasps]

-It all totally makes sense.

-Um, that's great, Sam, but then you'd have to ask

yourself, why would Ian tie himself up?

[muffled speech]

-Ian?

Alex?

I don't get it.

-So if Ian isn't behind the disappearance of Professor

Elliot, then who is?

PROFESSOR ELLIOT (OFFSCREEN): One guess, ladies.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Professor Elliot?

[gasps]

-Ah!

-[laughs]

-You'll never get with your crazy scheme, Professor.

But the way, what is your crazy scheme?

-When I place these two scarabs with the final scarab

at the base of the Temple of Isis, I will gain

eternal life and power.

Any other questions, silly girl?

-Terrific.

Another villain with delusions of grandeur.

-Seems to come with the territory.

-And now I must bid you all farewell.

Don't worry, though.

Perhaps someday an archaeologist will dig you up.

[coughing]

-Oh.

Sorry I suspected you, Ian.

-That's all right, Sam.

-Enough with the apologies.

Please tell me you have a plan, Sam.

-I'm working on it.

-Uh, could you move your hand, Clover?

The reflection off of Mandy's rock is

beginning to melt my face.

-Alex, that's it.

-What's it?

Melting my face?

-No.

Try to reach your lipstick lasers and aim them at the

hole where the sand is coming through.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): OK.

[grunting]

-Yeah!

-Isn't it hot enough around here already, Sam?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Just a little longer.

It worked!

Now let's get to the Temple of Isis to stop the professor.

-Hey.

I say why walk when we can ride?

[laughs]

So how do I get this oversized metallic

cocktail wiener moving?

-Look, there's a list of all the ruins in the

valley on this dial.

-Cool.

We can just turn the dial to the Temple of the Isis and

press Autopilot.

-Whoa!

-Ah!

-Ah, the final piece of my puzzle.

Come on, come on.

I don't have all eternity, or at least not yet.

Ah!

Yes, yes, it's working.

Soon I will be invincible.

No more lectures or grading poorly written term papers.

[rumbling]

-What the--

-What do you say we send the Professor back to school?

[yelling]

-OK, that was a little disturbing.

-Now what do we do?

-You have to remove the scarabs from the sarcophagus

and separate them.

That's the only way to reverse the power.

-All right, then.

OK, Alex, let's see if we've learned anything in gym.

-[angry grunt]

-Agh!

Ugh.

-Goal!

-[grunting]

-Wait a minute.

I don't get it.

How come Elliot's still glowing?

-You have to separate them, Clover.

-What?

Did he, like, superglue these together?

-You girls are becoming a nuisance.

Servants of the tomb, cause chaos and disaster.

Arise from sleep and defend your master.

[gasps]

-Ah!

[growling]

[gasps]

-Uh, Sam, I don't know what's scaring me more, the rhyming

or the mummies.

Um, OK, I'm pretty sure it's the mummies.

-Come on, Alex.

We've gotta hold off the mummies.

-I was so hoping you weren't gonna say that.

-[grunting]

-[laughs]

-We can't hold them off much longer.

-Done it again.

-What's it?

-What these mummies need is a little extra hold.

Come on, let's get outta here.

-Ha.

That'll hold them.

[gasps]

-Hello, old friend.

-(NERVOUS) Ah.

-Another job well done.

Be free, my friend.

-Sam, Elliot's getting away.

-Not so fast, Professor.

-Oof.

[grunting]

-Nice shot, Sam.

Excellent work, ladies.

-No time for thanks, Jerr.

We have to get to the Most Charitable Teen dance and give

this ring back to Mandy.

-I've been meaning to tell you, Clover.

That is the finest faux-ruby ring I've ever seen.

-You mean faux as in phony?

-I don't get it, Clover.

Why didn't you tell them that Mandy's ring was a fake?

-I just didn't think that it was the most

charitable thing to do.

-We're proud of you, Clover.

Hey, what do you say we get some of that

great-looking punch?

MALE SPEAKER (PA SYSTEM): Mandy.

-[laughs]

-This is a fake.

Uh, correction.

Mandy will not be crowned this year's Most Charitable Teen.

Uh, instead it will go to our first runner-up, Arnold, for

donating his exotic mold and fungus collection.

-What?!

But that is not fair.

You promised me the award!

-Is it [inaudible], Clover?

-Can you tell?

[laughter]