Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Here we go, we're getting on the

road 'til we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So 1, 2, 3, now, baby, here we go.

Here we go!

Here we go, on a mission undercover

and we're in control.

Here we go, here we go, we're Totally Spies so

get on with the show.

Here we go, here we go, here we go!

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Welcome to the Windsor Mall,

London's newest and largest shopping center.

-Oh, this store is everything everyone said it was going to

be and more.

I could stay in here forever!

-Oh, what's happening?

[screaming]

-This new mall is, like, the biggest thing that's happened

to me since acrylic nails.

I can't wait until it's finished.

-Me neither.

Just looking at it gives me goosebumps!

Hey, can't you guys build any faster?

-Take it easy, Alex.

Malls aren't built in a day.

Well, until the new one's done, looks like we're stuck

with our old tried and true luxury mall.

-OK, one guess.

Who am I?

-Mandy.

-Yes, who wants me now?

I'm so popular I can't even seek

refuge at the mall anymore.

[screams]

Ah, trying to be me?

As if.

It would take you months with a professional makeup artist

to achieve my look of perfection.

-I was totally just playing around, Mandy.

-Yeah, lighten up a little, beauty queen.

-Let's blow this makeup stand.

-No one gets away with calling me beauty queen and not really

meaning it.

This should bring down that pathetic wannabe.

[beeping]

-Hey, you, stop!

Thief!

Get back here!

[beep]

-Huh?

-Third floor.

Gadgets, video, and info on your next assignment.

[pained laughter]

-This better be urgent, Jer.

You interrupted a very important shopping spree.

-Actually, this mission hits very close to home.

It seems something or someone is kidnapping shoppers at

exclusive stores called All The Rage, destroying the

stores in the process.

-Destroying stores and abducting

people while they shop?

How evil and horrible.

-I know, I know.

I'm here for you.

-Who could be behind this?

-That's where you come in.

You'll be going undercover.

-As three gorgeous shoppers?

-Actually, as three TV fashion reporters.

-Ahem.

-Of course, as three gorgeous TV fashion reporters.

You'll be going to Cairo, where we're fairly certain

this group's next action will be.

It's your job to find out where they are, and--

-Yeah, yeah, we know.

Come on, girls, we have to save a store.

-Hang on.

Don't forget your gadgets.

-Oh, yeah.

My favorite part of our missions.

-Ultra energy laser lip balm, jet pack backpacks, hair clip

monster grips, fume emitting cameras, voice alterer,

compact parasols which double as laser saws, and of

course, some cash.

-Hello, it's the 21st century.

We all have credit cards.

-C-A-S-H, Alex, is a changeable application spy

halter top.

Could be a parachute, a net, a flotation device.

-Cool.

-Uh, yes.

Only the coolest for you girls.

Well, cheerio.

Good luck in Cairo.

-We're here live in ancient but fashionable Egypt.

Hey!

Point the camera at me, Spielberg.

-Oopsie.

[cheering]

-See anything strange?

-Not yet.

I'm gonna go look around.

[screaming]

-Sam?

Sam!

Look!

There's some sort of laser perimeter on those--

gates.

-We have to save Sam.

There's a skylight!

Let's go!

-Hey!

-Use the parasol.

-Good idea.

-Whoa!

-Cables.

Do you think--

-It's like a huge elevator.

Let's go!

-Oh, great.

I hope Jer got the extended warranty on this thing.

[squeaking]

-What's that sound?

[scream]

-Ew!

-Yuck!

-Rats, ew!

Creepy!

Breeding flies!

Ew!

-I'm sick of watching this tape.

We gotta figure out how to get Sam back.

-Whoa.

Who's that freak?

-Major freak.

Why is he so zoned while everyone with half a brain is

in a major panic?

-Let's see what Jerry thinks of this weirdo.

-Hello, ladies.

Sorry about Sam.

-I just sent you some pictures from the store.

There's a calm, freaky guy in the middle of the crowd.

-Yes, I see him.

Suspiciously calm, eh?

Oh, by the way, Clover, the Beverly Hills mall security

office needs to see you ASAP.

Some trouble involving shoplifted perfume?

-I didn't do it!

-I'm just the messenger.

Ah, yes.

Here's the scoop.

The calm man on the tape is Simon Tucker.

He's a former owner of a popular mom and pop store in

Ireland that was bought out by Harrows, the high end store

that recently opened a mall near Dublin.

Simon Tucker fought to save his store, but couldn't.

-But why would he be kidnapping people?

-Sounds like we're going to Ireland to find out.

-You are spot-on correct, my dear.

Ta-ta.

-Hi, I'm calling about--

-Hey, you're the shoplifter!

-I am so not the shoplifter!

I'm totally innocent!

-That's her.

That Clover girl.

-What is she doing there?

She's a liar!

-You'd better turn yourself in, fugitive!

-Why was that little witch Mandy there?

-Ugh.

Who knows?

I'd like to squash her overly perfumed head.

-I wonder whatever happened to that nasty little mom and pop

store that used to be here?

-Yes, uh, Simon Tucker did formerly have a

shop on this site.

We bought him out and built over him.

That's business.

-He mustn't have been too happy about that.

-He was paid handsomely.

Now, please leave the store.

We only cater to a select upscale clientele, and you're

not it.

-[growls]

-You really must leave, or I'll call security.

-OK, I'm having enough trouble with mall security.

Girlfriend, let's go.

-We've been kicked out of better stores than this.

-If this store's built over Simon

Tucker's old shop, then--

-Maybe we should drop by later to do a

little after hours spying.

-[laughs]

-Exactly.

There isn't squat about Simon Tucker in any of these files.

-Tell me about it.

This was just a big waste of time in a gross room.

-Whoa!

OK, this room is grosser.

-Hello, these are all Simon Tucker's old files.

-This must be part of his old store.

-Listen to this.

If they try to steal my store from me, they're

going to pay dearly.

These capitalist pigs will feel the wrath of

Anti-Consumer Team.

[squeaking]

[scream]

-More rats.

I know how to get rid of them.

-[coughing]

-What the--

rats!

-What do we do now?

-Just run!

-Looks like this is the end of the passageway.

-Then let's make a new passageway!

-[screaming]

-Huh?

-[growling]

-I mean, how weird is that?

A bunch of anti-mall freaks chasing us with wooden clubs.

-Freaky indeed.

It appears the club is made from a very rare Sydney red

gum tree, which only grows in Sydney, Australia.

-So the wackos get their wood from Australia.

OK.

-Is Simon Tucker from Australia or something?

-Fair assumption, but we're not definite.

What we do know is that his former store was an Australian

import shop.

-No wonder his store went under.

-Speaking of under, you two will be leaving for down under

in one hour.

Good day, ladies.

-OK, time to find Simon Tucker.

Should be cake.

Luckily, Australia is a tiny little place.

[didgeridoo music]

-Oh, wait.

Did you hear something?

Peace, love, and groovy times, baby.

-What is this place?

And what's with those patches?

Are those people doing tai chi?

-Attack!

Destroy that mall!

-Down with consumers!

Down with malls!

Stop all shoppers!

Demolish the walls!

-Whoa.

These people are serious wackos.

-Look over there.

-Down with consumers!

-A whole training camp to learn how to destroy stores.

-These people are, like, my worst nightmare.

-What the--

-So this is where all the stores end up?

-They shoot through the tunnel, like the one in Cairo.

-That means Sam must be around here somewhere.

-I think I've perfected a more potent patch.

Come to the lab.

-Putting the patches on the temple stimulates more of the

nerve endings faster.

Now, the mind think serum travels directly to the

brain's core.

Our revolutionary anti-shopping army will be

even more powerful.

I think Simon will be happy.

-You call yourselves anti-shopping revolutionaries?

I think not!

-Sam?

-As we carry out the revolution, remember our

goal-- to destroy all shopping, right?

-Right!

-I can't hear you!

-Right!

Shopping is evil, sir!

-Man, Sam is totally brainwashed.

It must be that patch on her head.

-Whatever it is, we have to get her out

of here, like, now.

-OK, we swoop down and net Sam.

Ready?

-Huh?

[screams]

-Hey!

What the--

-Let me down!

You won't get away with this!

-Retreat!

-Ow!

-Hey!

-Attention, anti-shoppers.

We have caught the infiltrators

They're in prison one.

-I couldn't have designed a better prison myself.

-Yeah.

I hope there's a sale going on.

-Simon Tucker!

-That's me.

Welcome to your final minutes as misguided

materialistic consumers.

After my technicians apply these to your fragile temples,

I'll be proud to have you in my army.

-We are not joining any army of yours.

-You're from Beverly Hills, aren't you?

-Yes.

And proud of it.

-And you love shopping.

Then you'll love this.

-Sweet!

These are fabulous!

-And expensive.

-Oh, they totally match that short blue skirt you just

bought.

-Beverly Hills is a scourge.

The ultimate paradise for evil shoppers.

It's the most heinous example of consumerism on earth.

-Down with consumers.

Down with malls.

Stop all shoppers.

Demolish the walls.

-I don't know what Beverly Hills you're talking about.

-And you are not going to get away with your evil plan!

By the way, what-- what is your evil plan?

-Well, since you'll soon be helping to carry it out, I

guess I can tell you.

I plan on ridding the world of all materialism and

consumerism--

the very things that ruined my life.

I and ACT, my anti-consumerism teams, will destroy malls

around the world, starting with the new mall in your

Beverly Hills.

-What?

No way, you creep!

You can't!

-That's our new mall!

Nothing's going to stand between us and that mall!

You're going down, Mister!

[screams]

-The jets are ready to leave, sir.

The armies of ACT are mobilized.

-Sam, how can you do this?

It's Beverly Hills!

Ow!

Beverly Hills!

-Down with consumers!

Down with malls!

Stop all shoppers!

Demolish the walls!

-Too bad you won't be in the army to destroy your own mall.

But there are many others.

Well, time to go to the grand opening.

I mean, grand closing.

[laughs]

-Hey, these scarves are from Paris.

-Ha!

-That was not the kind of shopping spree I had in mind.

-We have to get to the new Beverly Hills mall right away.

The future of shopping depends on us!

[cheering]

-Down with consumers!

Down with malls!

Stop all shoppers!

Demolish the walls!

-Quick, use the voice-altering bullhorn thingy!

-(SIMON TUCKER'S VOICE) This is Simon Tucker.

My faithful ACT army, come destroy the third floor.

-Troops!

-Down with consumers!

Down with malls!

Stop all shoppers!

-Sam, snap out of it!

-Remember us?

We're your friends, Clover and Alex?

-Shopping is evil!

-We have to get those stupid patches off her head.

Oh, my--

-Put on your halter.

We can grab Sam and parachute down.

-Whoa!

-Over there!

Land in the fountain.

-Ew, that water looks nast!

-Wouldn't you like to take a nice, refreshing bath, Sammy?

-Stay away!

Ow!

-Sorry!

-Man, that was weird.

Was I, like, brainwashed or something?

-You totally were.

But no time to chat.

-Wait, I remember!

We have to save this mall.

Simon plans to blow it up.

-Duh!

What do you think we've been doing?

-There he is!

-We have to get the patches off the ACT

army and stop Simon.

-Well, water should do the trick.

That's how yours came off.

-Good point.

I have a plan.

Come on!

-Troops, it's almost time to commence the grand plan.

Come in closer and listen well.

-OK.

[alarm]

-Peel your patches off.

That's an order!

-Simon is an evil man.

He has no right to hurt innocent

people and destroy malls!

Now, let's stop him!

[cheering]

-You won't win!

You'll never win!

I have my new army!

-Are you close to it?

-Yes.

[screaming]

-Huh?

Huh?

This can't be happening!

My plan was foolproof!

-Congrats, girls.

You've made the world safe again for obsessive shoppers.

-I swear, I didn't steal it.

-It was found in your bag.

That's the point.

And you have to deal with the consequences.

And they're not pretty.

-You have to believe me!

Please!

I am not the kind of person who'd steal!

-Case closed.

It was in your bag.

-You are not gonna lie your way out of this one.

-No one gets away with calling me beauty queen and not really

meaning it.

This should bring down that pathetic wannabe.

-You!

I knew you were in on this.

-Nice try, lady.

I hereby assign you to two weeks on the

store's cleaning crew.

-Cleaning crew?

I've never cleaned anything in my entire life!

Can't I just hire someone to do the cleaning for me?

-While you're cleaning the mall, why don't you take this

opportunity to clean up your act?

Uh, so how did that TV turn on by itself?

-And then show the exact tape you needed?

-No need to thank me, girls.

It was my pleasure.

-Jer, you rule!

[laughing]

(theme music)

(theme music)