All language subtitles for Totally.Spies.S01E17.480p.DVD.WEB-DL.TSXT.x264-SRS

THEME MUSIC: Here we go again.

We're on the road
till we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So one, two, three, now, baby.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're on a mission undercover
and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're totally spies, so
get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

CHEERLEADERS (OFFSCREEN):
Honeybees,

Honeybees, that's our name.

Winning is our goal, and
cheering is our name.

We're cute and sweet like sugar,
and we're bees that

never sting.

So come on, clap your hands
and do the honeybee thing.

Go, Honeybees!

[cheering]

[screaming]

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): So why
do you want us to

come in with you again?

-Cause you're my best friends,
and we do everything together.

-Even best friends
have limits, Sam.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN):
Clover's right.

Why don't you go sign up
for the spelling be

while we wait here?

You know, where it isn't
so geekified?

-Fine.

I'll go in by myself.

-Cheer up, Sam.

When you're done, we'll take you
out for some celebratory

spring rolls.

-Isn't it a little early for
celebrating, Clover?

I mean, the actual competition
isn't for a few days.

-Trust me, Alex.

No one's going to beat Sam.

She's, like, a total shoo
in for victory.

MANDY (OFFSCREEN):
Oh, I wouldn't be

so sure about that.

Now, out of my way.

I've got a spelling bee
to sign up for.

-You're joking, right?

I mean, since when are
you in spelling?

-I am not into spelling, Sam.

I am into winning.

And more importantly, I am into
beating you and showing

everyone that not only am I the
prettiest and best dressed

girl at Bev High, I am
also the smartest.

In fact, my daddy has hired
a world famous linguist, a

professional hypnotist, and a
top yoga guru to make sure

that I get what I want.

So good luck, Sam.

You're gonna need it.

-If she thinks I'm gonna let her
win my spelling bee, then

that hair dye has definitely
seeped into her brain.

-Well, what are you
gonna do, Sam?

-Mandy's got those two brainiacs
and that-- that

yogurt guy.

-I am gonna beat her the
old fashioned way--

by studying really hard.

-In that case, we're
going to help you.

-We are?

-Sure.

I mean, even though we totally
detest the library, there's no

way we're going to let
Mandy beat our Sammy.

-Come on.

-So, where do we start?

Right here, with the
dictionaries.

[yelling]

-Huh?

[wailing]

-I knew going into a library
was a bad idea.

[grunting]

-Afternoon, ladies.

So good of you to pop in.

-Jerry, as your friend, I've got
tell you, your jokes are

getting seriously old.

[clears throat]

-Very well, then.

Let's get down to business.

It's been brought to our
attention that the Honeybees,

the California State
Championship high school

cheerleading squad, are MMCC.

-MMCC?

-Missing Mid-Cheering
Competition.

The team was scheduled to arrive
for nationals this

morning in Miami, but they
never materialized.

-OK.

I'm afraid to ask this, but,
uh, where do we fit in?

JERRY (OFFSCREEN): You girls are
to go undercover and find

out if anyone knows what
happened to them.

As of right now, you're the
new California state

champions-- the WOOHPettes.

-Please tell me this is another
one of your bad jokes.

-No such luck, Sam.

-You mean, we get to
meet cheerleaders?

-That's correct.

-No way!

-This mission rocks.

[sam groaning]

-And now for the gadgets.

This week, we have three pairs
of spring loaded sneakers, the

mini locket rocket, a tube of
lip sick, a metal cutting

laser ring, and my personal
favorite, instant

hair helmet in a can.

-Wow.

-Wow!

-Awesome lid, Jer--

you know, for a bald dude.

-Hm, thank you, Clover.

Now, goodbye, and good
luck on your trip.

[wailing]

-Ha ha!

You get it?

Trip!

Who says my jokes
aren't funny?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): I can't
believe Jerry's

making us do this.

I mean, what could possibly
be more humiliating?

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Wow.

-I'm sorry I asked.

-Oh!

I love it.

-Please tell me you're
not serious.

-Of course I'm serious, Sammy.

I love cheerleading.

-Is it just the lame outfits,
or do you like the brainless

flitting around, too?

-OK.

For your information, Sam,
cheerleading is a highly

competitive, highly challenging
sport with a long

standing tradition of
spirited optimism.

-And a longstanding tradition
of big hair.

-Enough bickering, girls.

We've got Honeybees
to find, remember?

-Right.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): So,
where do we start?

-We find out if any of these
girly girls have a grudge

against the Honeybees?

-(SOUTHERN ACCENT) Did
you say Honeybees?

-Uh, yeah.

Shame what happened
to them, isn't it?

[scoffs]

-Are you kidding?

Those witches won 10
years in a row.

About time someone else
had a chance.

-Totally.

I'm, like, glad they're MIA.

-Yeah, good riddance.

-I guess this means everyone's
a suspect.

-Mm.

-Good afternoon, ladies and
gentlemen, and welcome to the

National High School Cheerleader
Competition.

The first team up is the squad
from Beverly Hills,

California--

the WOOHPettes.

[cheering]

-I didn't know we were
actually competing.

-I guess it's a good thing
Jerry gave us this spring

loaded sneakers.

[funk music playing]

[cheering]

-Hey, what do you know?

We actually pretty good.

-Maybe this will lead to me
becoming a professional pom

pom girl.

-Not unless you can come up with
some catchy ditty to go

along with this little
presentation.

-(CHEERING) We WOOHP
to the left.

We WOOHP to the right.

The Beverly Hills girls are--

WOOHP-- out of sight.

[sam groaning]

[MUSIC PLAYING, CROWD
CHEERING]

-Giant hair and perfect teeth,
we hail from the land of beef.

Go, Texas!

-Wisconsin is the state
we're from.

We like cheese, but
we're not dumb.

-A, L, A, S, K, A. Alaska
is our state, hooray!

-Hey, Sammy, maybe the Alaska
girls can help you study for

the spelling bee.

-Oh, please.

I am not that desperate, Alex.

-Ladies and gentlemen, that
concludes today's competition.

[cheering and applauding]

-And now, for the judges'
decision.

BLACK WIDOW (OFFSCREEN):
Not yet.

The Black Widows must
still compete.

-That's funny, I don't see any
Black Widows on the roster.

-What was that you said about
cheerleaders being girly

girls, Sammy?

[music playing]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd roaring]

-Whoa.

They're, like, superhuman.

-Not to mention super scary.

-Is it me, or was there
something very familiar about

that routine?

-The decision is unanimous.

The Black Widows are
the winners, the

new national champs.

They'll compete in the
world cheerleader

competition in Tahiti.

[cheering]

-Whatever.

-Our second place winners
are the team from Texas.

And third place goes
to the WOOHPettes.

-Hey, that's us.

We're the WOOHPettes, Clover.

We're the third place winners.

I wonder if we get some kind
of trophy or something.

-No time for trophies.

I got to ready for my closeup.

-Better hurry, because
here come news crews.

-Huh?

-Hi, I'm Clover, captain
of the WOOHP-- whoa!

[NEWSCASTER CLAMORING
TO ASK QUESTIONS]

NEWSCASTER (OFFSCREEN):
Who are you?

-Rude, much?

-What's your story?

-Where are you from?

-Are you OK?

-I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

-Whoa.

It's like--

it's like she short circuited
or something.

WOMAN (OFFSCREEN): No
more interviews.

My team is very tired and needs
to get back to training

camp immediately.

We must prepare for the
world competition.

[whistle blowing]

-Who's the kill joy?

-The name on her uniforms
said Coach Sweet.

-How ironic.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): We'd better
call Jerry and check it out.

-Oh, hello, girls.

Just saw you on the telly.

Thought you did a bang up job,
but not as good as the Black

Widows, though.

Their routine was positively
explosive.

-Oh, rub it in, why don't ya?

-Jerry, what can you tell us
about the Widows' coach?

Her name's Sweet.

-That's odd.

Nothing comes up.

-Well, keep searching.

Come on, girls.

We'd better find the Widows
before they leave for camp.

[screaming]

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): I have a
feeling we just found them.

-Guess we're gonna have to do
this the WOOHPette way.

Hold on, girls.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Let's try
that window on the end.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Good idea.

Any more of this heat, and my
skin's gonna look like an old

leather shoe.

[grunting]

-Hey, check it out.

-Now, that's what I call an
explosive performance.

-Wonder where she got this.

[loud mechanical noise]

-Sounds like it's coming
from the roof.

Come on!

[music playing]

[gasps]

-Uh, girls?

I think that smoke must have
gotten to my brain, because

I'm seeing a giant spider-shaped
helicopter.

-I see it, too.

And unfortunately, I think
we need to get on board

before it takes off.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Not before
we get all gussied up.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Now what?

[wailing]

-Stay put.

And hope that no one sees us.

And pray that we don't fall.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Hey, this
stuff works like a charm.

Remind me to use it next time I
want to lip lock with a boy.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Phew.

About time we landed.

I was beginning to feel
like a monkey.

-Now that you mention it, your
arms do look a little longer.

-Uh, ladies, when you're done
chatting, you might want to

take a look.

-That's the Black Widows'
training camp?

-Not very upbeat or
peppy, is it?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Quick, hide!

-Come on, Alex.

-Quit goofing around.

-I'm not goofing.

I'm stuck!

[struggling]

-Phew.

A second longer, and I would
have been spider chow,

wouldn't I?

-This thing is seriously
handy.

I think I'll get my dad
one for Father's Day.

-Man, talk about a small
practice space.

How do they get anything
done in here?

-Um, Alex?

This is a closet.

-Oh, right.

I knew that.

-Time for a little undercover
action.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Do you see any
big, scary, muscle bound

cheerleaders, Sammy?

-Negative.

Looks like the coast is clear.

-OK.

This is definitely
the strangest

cheerleading camp in the world.

[gasps]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): It just got
a whole lot stranger.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Whoa.

[loud, explosive noise]

-I really hope that's the
sound of fireworks.

-It's coming from in there.

-Don't look at me.

I snuck us in here.

-Hey, I found the disguises.

-Fine.

I'll do it.

Just watch my back.

And my front.

And all the rest of me.

-Whoa.

-I know cheerleading's a
competitive sport, but this

type of training seems
a bit extreme.

[phone ringing]

-Nice going, Jer.

-Wh-- what?

Did I catch you at a bad time?

-Actually, it wasn't that
bad until you called.

-Don't mind her.

She's just a bit tense.

So, quickly-- what
have you got.

-Turns out Candy's real name
is Margaret Nussbaum.

She's an ex-robotics engineer
from the US military combat

department.

-Explains a lot about the little
operation we saw in the

other room.

-The reason I couldn't find
her in the databases is

because she changed her name to
Candy Sweet just last week,

after opening her cheerleading
camp in Nevada.

And one more thing--

she went to the same time as
the missing Honeybees, only

she graduated 10
years earlier.

-Jer, roll that tape of the
state competition again.

I knew I recognized
the Black Widows'

routine from somewhere.

It's the exact same
as the Honeybees'.

You know, only robotically
enhanced.

CANDY SWEET (OFFSCREEN): You're
pretty smart for a

cheerleader.

[guns cocking]

[gasp]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Let go of us.

-Oh, I don't think so.

I simply can't risk you
WOOHPettes going out into the

world and blabbing about
my master plan.

-Master plan?

-And here I thought
you were smart.

Oh, well.

Guess I'll just have to
spell it out for you.

You see, when I take my Black
Widows to the world's

competition, they're going
to put on a show no

one will ever forget.

-Your point?

-They're going to take
out everyone

in that entire stadium--

all those who love the
vapid world of

cheerleading, that this.

-Um, why so bitter, Candy?

Like, what did the
vapid world or

cheerleading ever do to you?

-I tried out for the Honeybees
10 years ago, but

didn't make the squad.

Apparently, I wasn't
sweet enough.

-What is that thing?

-Oh, just a little machine I
invented to download the

Honeybees' moves and put them
into the brains of my robots.

Now, I'm going to use
it on you girls.

[whistle blowing]

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): But we aren't
even real cheerleaders?

We don't know any moves.

CANDY SWEET (OFFSCREEN): Then
I guess my machine will just

turn your brains to mush.

To the Spider Copter.

-Great.

My brain turning to mush.

I'll never win the
spelling be.

-And I'll never get to become
a professional cheerleader.

-Actually, Clover, having
no brain might

increase your chances.

-Um, girls, this really
isn't the time

for one of your squabbles.

In case you haven't noticed,
we're in serious trouble here!

-You're right.

We'd better use our brains to
figure out how to get out of

here before it's too late.

-Awesome.

-OK, girls, here's the plan.

I'll call Jerry and tell him we
need to get to Tahiti ASAP.

Clover, you free the Bees and
restore their memories.

And Alex, you figure out how
to put an end to this very,

very, very bad hair day.

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): Hello,
everyone, and welcome to the

World Cheerleading
Competition.

Please give a warm welcome to
our first competitiveness.

From the United States,
it's the Black Widows.

[crowd cheering]

-(CHANTING) We're the Black
Widows and we we're to say,

today is not your lucky day.

You're cheering is so
lame and vapid.

Our attack will be quite
harsh and rapid.

Widows attack!

[music playing]

[music playing]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd gasping]

-Interesting.

-Very unorthodox.

And very original.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Hey, why
don't you pick on

someone your own size?

[crowd cheering]

[music playing]

[grunting]

[whistle blowing]

-Great.

We're surrounded.

Oh, well.

At least we get to go down in
a blaze of glory with the

whole world watching.

-And listening.

-Come again?

-I've got a plan.

Think you girls could bust me
out of here and keep the

Widows busy for a while?

Trust me, this'll work
like a charm.

Just make sure you don't stick
around for the grand finale.

[music playing]

-OK.

That didn't work.

-Hey, where do you Neanderthals

think you're going?

-I'm thinking it's grand
finale time.

-Let's not stick around
to find out.

[black widows wailing]

[CROWD MAKING NOISES OF
DELIGHTED SURPRISE]

[cheering]

-Look at that!

-Thanks girls.

You, like, totally saved us.

And you totally saved
cheerleading.

CANDY SWEET (OFFSCREEN):
Not if I have anything

to say about it.

[gasp]

JERRY (OFFSCREEN): Uh, I'd watch
where I pointed that

thing if I were you, Margaret.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): I'm so glad
the Widows exploded and the

Honeybees won the world
competition.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Yeah.

At least they're slightly
less scary.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Speaking
of bees, haven't you got a

spelling be to get to, Sammy?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Forget
about it.

There's no way I can win.

I never got a chance to study.

-Hello, we've been over this.

You're, like, the smartest
girl at Bev High.

-And besides, you can't just
let Mandy beat you.

She's a cheater, not to mention
our evil nemesis.

[mandy scoffing offscreen]

MANDY (OFFSCREEN): As if she
has a choice in the matter.

I am going to beat the
capri pants off her.

[gasps]

-Wait.

I can't go in there.

There's too many people.

[wailing]

-No!

It's too scary.

You can't make me.

-What do you know?

Looks like Mandy caught herself
a little case of stage

fright.

-Guess none of her fancy
training worked.

-On second thought, I think
I will compete.

[mandy screaming]

-Uh, good luck, Mandy.

Looks like you're
gonna need it.

-Yeah!

[theme music]

[theme music]