Original subtitles

THEME MUSIC: Here we go again.

We're on the road till we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So one, two, three, now, baby.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're on a mission undercover and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're totally spies, so get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

CHEERLEADERS (OFFSCREEN): Honeybees,

Honeybees, that's our name.

Winning is our goal, and cheering is our name.

We're cute and sweet like sugar, and we're bees that

never sting.

So come on, clap your hands and do the honeybee thing.

Go, Honeybees!

[cheering]

[screaming]

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): So why do you want us to

come in with you again?

-Cause you're my best friends, and we do everything together.

-Even best friends have limits, Sam.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Clover's right.

Why don't you go sign up for the spelling be

while we wait here?

You know, where it isn't so geekified?

-Fine.

I'll go in by myself.

-Cheer up, Sam.

When you're done, we'll take you out for some celebratory

spring rolls.

-Isn't it a little early for celebrating, Clover?

I mean, the actual competition isn't for a few days.

-Trust me, Alex.

No one's going to beat Sam.

She's, like, a total shoo in for victory.

MANDY (OFFSCREEN): Oh, I wouldn't be

so sure about that.

Now, out of my way.

I've got a spelling bee to sign up for.

-You're joking, right?

I mean, since when are you in spelling?

-I am not into spelling, Sam.

I am into winning.

And more importantly, I am into beating you and showing

everyone that not only am I the prettiest and best dressed

girl at Bev High, I am also the smartest.

In fact, my daddy has hired a world famous linguist, a

professional hypnotist, and a top yoga guru to make sure

that I get what I want.

So good luck, Sam.

You're gonna need it.

-If she thinks I'm gonna let her win my spelling bee, then

that hair dye has definitely seeped into her brain.

-Well, what are you gonna do, Sam?

-Mandy's got those two brainiacs and that-- that

yogurt guy.

-I am gonna beat her the old fashioned way--

by studying really hard.

-In that case, we're going to help you.

-We are?

-Sure.

I mean, even though we totally detest the library, there's no

way we're going to let Mandy beat our Sammy.

-Come on.

-So, where do we start?

Right here, with the dictionaries.

[yelling]

-Huh?

[wailing]

-I knew going into a library was a bad idea.

[grunting]

-Afternoon, ladies.

So good of you to pop in.

-Jerry, as your friend, I've got tell you, your jokes are

getting seriously old.

[clears throat]

-Very well, then.

Let's get down to business.

It's been brought to our attention that the Honeybees,

the California State Championship high school

cheerleading squad, are MMCC.

-MMCC?

-Missing Mid-Cheering Competition.

The team was scheduled to arrive for nationals this

morning in Miami, but they never materialized.

-OK.

I'm afraid to ask this, but, uh, where do we fit in?

JERRY (OFFSCREEN): You girls are to go undercover and find

out if anyone knows what happened to them.

As of right now, you're the new California state

champions-- the WOOHPettes.

-Please tell me this is another one of your bad jokes.

-No such luck, Sam.

-You mean, we get to meet cheerleaders?

-That's correct.

-No way!

-This mission rocks.

[sam groaning]

-And now for the gadgets.

This week, we have three pairs of spring loaded sneakers, the

mini locket rocket, a tube of lip sick, a metal cutting

laser ring, and my personal favorite, instant

hair helmet in a can.

-Wow.

-Wow!

-Awesome lid, Jer--

you know, for a bald dude.

-Hm, thank you, Clover.

Now, goodbye, and good luck on your trip.

[wailing]

-Ha ha!

You get it?

Trip!

Who says my jokes aren't funny?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): I can't believe Jerry's

making us do this.

I mean, what could possibly be more humiliating?

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Wow.

-I'm sorry I asked.

-Oh!

I love it.

-Please tell me you're not serious.

-Of course I'm serious, Sammy.

I love cheerleading.

-Is it just the lame outfits, or do you like the brainless

flitting around, too?

-OK.

For your information, Sam, cheerleading is a highly

competitive, highly challenging sport with a long

standing tradition of spirited optimism.

-And a longstanding tradition of big hair.

-Enough bickering, girls.

We've got Honeybees to find, remember?

-Right.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): So, where do we start?

-We find out if any of these girly girls have a grudge

against the Honeybees?

-(SOUTHERN ACCENT) Did you say Honeybees?

-Uh, yeah.

Shame what happened to them, isn't it?

[scoffs]

-Are you kidding?

Those witches won 10 years in a row.

About time someone else had a chance.

-Totally.

I'm, like, glad they're MIA.

-Yeah, good riddance.

-I guess this means everyone's a suspect.

-Mm.

-Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the

National High School Cheerleader Competition.

The first team up is the squad from Beverly Hills,

California--

the WOOHPettes.

[cheering]

-I didn't know we were actually competing.

-I guess it's a good thing Jerry gave us this spring

loaded sneakers.

[funk music playing]

[cheering]

-Hey, what do you know?

We actually pretty good.

-Maybe this will lead to me becoming a professional pom

pom girl.

-Not unless you can come up with some catchy ditty to go

along with this little presentation.

-(CHEERING) We WOOHP to the left.

We WOOHP to the right.

The Beverly Hills girls are--

WOOHP-- out of sight.

[sam groaning]

[MUSIC PLAYING, CROWD CHEERING]

-Giant hair and perfect teeth, we hail from the land of beef.

Go, Texas!

-Wisconsin is the state we're from.

We like cheese, but we're not dumb.

-A, L, A, S, K, A. Alaska is our state, hooray!

-Hey, Sammy, maybe the Alaska girls can help you study for

the spelling bee.

-Oh, please.

I am not that desperate, Alex.

-Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes today's competition.

[cheering and applauding]

-And now, for the judges' decision.

BLACK WIDOW (OFFSCREEN): Not yet.

The Black Widows must still compete.

-That's funny, I don't see any Black Widows on the roster.

-What was that you said about cheerleaders being girly

girls, Sammy?

[music playing]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd roaring]

-Whoa.

They're, like, superhuman.

-Not to mention super scary.

-Is it me, or was there something very familiar about

that routine?

-The decision is unanimous.

The Black Widows are the winners, the

new national champs.

They'll compete in the world cheerleader

competition in Tahiti.

[cheering]

-Whatever.

-Our second place winners are the team from Texas.

And third place goes to the WOOHPettes.

-Hey, that's us.

We're the WOOHPettes, Clover.

We're the third place winners.

I wonder if we get some kind of trophy or something.

-No time for trophies.

I got to ready for my closeup.

-Better hurry, because here come news crews.

-Huh?

-Hi, I'm Clover, captain of the WOOHP-- whoa!

[NEWSCASTER CLAMORING TO ASK QUESTIONS]

NEWSCASTER (OFFSCREEN): Who are you?

-Rude, much?

-What's your story?

-Where are you from?

-Are you OK?

-I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

-Whoa.

It's like--

it's like she short circuited or something.

WOMAN (OFFSCREEN): No more interviews.

My team is very tired and needs to get back to training

camp immediately.

We must prepare for the world competition.

[whistle blowing]

-Who's the kill joy?

-The name on her uniforms said Coach Sweet.

-How ironic.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): We'd better call Jerry and check it out.

-Oh, hello, girls.

Just saw you on the telly.

Thought you did a bang up job, but not as good as the Black

Widows, though.

Their routine was positively explosive.

-Oh, rub it in, why don't ya?

-Jerry, what can you tell us about the Widows' coach?

Her name's Sweet.

-That's odd.

Nothing comes up.

-Well, keep searching.

Come on, girls.

We'd better find the Widows before they leave for camp.

[screaming]

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): I have a feeling we just found them.

-Guess we're gonna have to do this the WOOHPette way.

Hold on, girls.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Let's try that window on the end.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Good idea.

Any more of this heat, and my skin's gonna look like an old

leather shoe.

[grunting]

-Hey, check it out.

-Now, that's what I call an explosive performance.

-Wonder where she got this.

[loud mechanical noise]

-Sounds like it's coming from the roof.

Come on!

[music playing]

[gasps]

-Uh, girls?

I think that smoke must have gotten to my brain, because

I'm seeing a giant spider-shaped helicopter.

-I see it, too.

And unfortunately, I think we need to get on board

before it takes off.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Not before we get all gussied up.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Now what?

[wailing]

-Stay put.

And hope that no one sees us.

And pray that we don't fall.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Hey, this stuff works like a charm.

Remind me to use it next time I want to lip lock with a boy.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Phew.

About time we landed.

I was beginning to feel like a monkey.

-Now that you mention it, your arms do look a little longer.

-Uh, ladies, when you're done chatting, you might want to

take a look.

-That's the Black Widows' training camp?

-Not very upbeat or peppy, is it?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Quick, hide!

-Come on, Alex.

-Quit goofing around.

-I'm not goofing.

I'm stuck!

[struggling]

-Phew.

A second longer, and I would have been spider chow,

wouldn't I?

-This thing is seriously handy.

I think I'll get my dad one for Father's Day.

-Man, talk about a small practice space.

How do they get anything done in here?

-Um, Alex?

This is a closet.

-Oh, right.

I knew that.

-Time for a little undercover action.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Do you see any big, scary, muscle bound

cheerleaders, Sammy?

-Negative.

Looks like the coast is clear.

-OK.

This is definitely the strangest

cheerleading camp in the world.

[gasps]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): It just got a whole lot stranger.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Whoa.

[loud, explosive noise]

-I really hope that's the sound of fireworks.

-It's coming from in there.

-Don't look at me.

I snuck us in here.

-Hey, I found the disguises.

-Fine.

I'll do it.

Just watch my back.

And my front.

And all the rest of me.

-Whoa.

-I know cheerleading's a competitive sport, but this

type of training seems a bit extreme.

[phone ringing]

-Nice going, Jer.

-Wh-- what?

Did I catch you at a bad time?

-Actually, it wasn't that bad until you called.

-Don't mind her.

She's just a bit tense.

So, quickly-- what have you got.

-Turns out Candy's real name is Margaret Nussbaum.

She's an ex-robotics engineer from the US military combat

department.

-Explains a lot about the little operation we saw in the

other room.

-The reason I couldn't find her in the databases is

because she changed her name to Candy Sweet just last week,

after opening her cheerleading camp in Nevada.

And one more thing--

she went to the same time as the missing Honeybees, only

she graduated 10 years earlier.

-Jer, roll that tape of the state competition again.

I knew I recognized the Black Widows'

routine from somewhere.

It's the exact same as the Honeybees'.

You know, only robotically enhanced.

CANDY SWEET (OFFSCREEN): You're pretty smart for a

cheerleader.

[guns cocking]

[gasp]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Let go of us.

-Oh, I don't think so.

I simply can't risk you WOOHPettes going out into the

world and blabbing about my master plan.

-Master plan?

-And here I thought you were smart.

Oh, well.

Guess I'll just have to spell it out for you.

You see, when I take my Black Widows to the world's

competition, they're going to put on a show no

one will ever forget.

-Your point?

-They're going to take out everyone

in that entire stadium--

all those who love the vapid world of

cheerleading, that this.

-Um, why so bitter, Candy?

Like, what did the vapid world or

cheerleading ever do to you?

-I tried out for the Honeybees 10 years ago, but

didn't make the squad.

Apparently, I wasn't sweet enough.

-What is that thing?

-Oh, just a little machine I invented to download the

Honeybees' moves and put them into the brains of my robots.

Now, I'm going to use it on you girls.

[whistle blowing]

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): But we aren't even real cheerleaders?

We don't know any moves.

CANDY SWEET (OFFSCREEN): Then I guess my machine will just

turn your brains to mush.

To the Spider Copter.

-Great.

My brain turning to mush.

I'll never win the spelling be.

-And I'll never get to become a professional cheerleader.

-Actually, Clover, having no brain might

increase your chances.

-Um, girls, this really isn't the time

for one of your squabbles.

In case you haven't noticed, we're in serious trouble here!

-You're right.

We'd better use our brains to figure out how to get out of

here before it's too late.

-Awesome.

-OK, girls, here's the plan.

I'll call Jerry and tell him we need to get to Tahiti ASAP.

Clover, you free the Bees and restore their memories.

And Alex, you figure out how to put an end to this very,

very, very bad hair day.

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): Hello, everyone, and welcome to the

World Cheerleading Competition.

Please give a warm welcome to our first competitiveness.

From the United States, it's the Black Widows.

[crowd cheering]

-(CHANTING) We're the Black Widows and we we're to say,

today is not your lucky day.

You're cheering is so lame and vapid.

Our attack will be quite harsh and rapid.

Widows attack!

[music playing]

[music playing]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd gasping]

-Interesting.

-Very unorthodox.

And very original.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Hey, why don't you pick on

someone your own size?

[crowd cheering]

[music playing]

[grunting]

[whistle blowing]

-Great.

We're surrounded.

Oh, well.

At least we get to go down in a blaze of glory with the

whole world watching.

-And listening.

-Come again?

-I've got a plan.

Think you girls could bust me out of here and keep the

Widows busy for a while?

Trust me, this'll work like a charm.

Just make sure you don't stick around for the grand finale.

[music playing]

-OK.

That didn't work.

-Hey, where do you Neanderthals

think you're going?

-I'm thinking it's grand finale time.

-Let's not stick around to find out.

[black widows wailing]

[CROWD MAKING NOISES OF DELIGHTED SURPRISE]

[cheering]

-Look at that!

-Thanks girls.

You, like, totally saved us.

And you totally saved cheerleading.

CANDY SWEET (OFFSCREEN): Not if I have anything

to say about it.

[gasp]

JERRY (OFFSCREEN): Uh, I'd watch where I pointed that

thing if I were you, Margaret.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): I'm so glad the Widows exploded and the

Honeybees won the world competition.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Yeah.

At least they're slightly less scary.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Speaking of bees, haven't you got a

spelling be to get to, Sammy?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Forget about it.

There's no way I can win.

I never got a chance to study.

-Hello, we've been over this.

You're, like, the smartest girl at Bev High.

-And besides, you can't just let Mandy beat you.

She's a cheater, not to mention our evil nemesis.

[mandy scoffing offscreen]

MANDY (OFFSCREEN): As if she has a choice in the matter.

I am going to beat the capri pants off her.

[gasps]

-Wait.

I can't go in there.

There's too many people.

[wailing]

-No!

It's too scary.

You can't make me.

-What do you know?

Looks like Mandy caught herself a little case of stage

fright.

-Guess none of her fancy training worked.

-On second thought, I think I will compete.

[mandy screaming]

-Uh, good luck, Mandy.

Looks like you're gonna need it.

-Yeah!

[theme music]

[theme music]