Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Here we go again.

On the road till we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So one, two, three, now, baby.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

On a mission undercover and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're totally spies.

Yeah, get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

-Hey, Toby, put that fantasy junk away.

-Yeah?

How about the reality of getting the chores

done before sun up?

-Aw, but this is the best part.

The aliens are about to land.

[loud noise]

-What the--

-Oh, my.

-Whoa!

-Run!

[whirring sound]

[music playing]

DRIVING INSTRUCTOR (OFFSCREEN): Left!

Straighten out!

[screaming]

DRIVING INSTRUCTOR (OFFSCREEN): Look out!

-I seriously suggest you get yourself a bus schedule, young

lady, because at this rate, there's no way you're going to

pass your driving test.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): But I've got to pass!

Girls who drive attract three times more boys

than girls who don't.

-Don't worry, Alex.

We know you'll come through in the clutch.

-Please, don't say clutch.

-Huh?

[wailing]

-You're the one taking driver's ed, Alex.

Where are the brakes?

[grunting]

-Is this WOOHP?

I can't see anything.

-I knew I should have bought that glow in the dark tank top

I saw at the mall.

-Have I mentioned how much I really don't like the dark.

I'm not scared.

It's just, you know-- you never know what's going to--

[yelping]

-Hello, girls.

-Jerry.

[scoffs]

You know what stress does to my skin.

-Sorry.

Agent Morrison tripped over the generator cable again.

Now, take a look at these satellite tapes from Italy,

Russia, and France.

[screaming]

-WOOHP has reason to believe the people in these videos

were abducted by aliens.

[laughing]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Aliens?

You're kidding, right?

-What'd you do?

Bonk your head in the shower this morning, Jer?

-This is serious, spies.

These abductions occurred in the last two weeks.

The first one was in this Iowa cornfield.

Your mission is to visit the abduction site

and look for clues.

-I knew we couldn't be alone in the galaxy!

I knew there was life on other planets.

-Hey, Alex, you sound like you're from another planet.

-Yeah, Planet Whatever.

-Now, then, your equipment will include some old

favorites-- jetpack backpacks, hair pick lock picks, heat

sensor 6,000 infrared motion detector sunglasses, now with

wireless internet connections and digital camera functions,

and some new items-- wrist mounted [inaudible]

XGs and CLALG.

-Ew, need a glass of water, Jerry?

-That CLALG--

C, L, A, L, G--

combination laser and lip gloss, in fruity, low cal

bubble gum flavor.

-If there are aliens out there, we'll show them the

best Earth has to offer.

-Yay, Earth.

-Goodbye and good luck, ladies.

[screaming]

PILOT (OFFSCREEN): This is your WOOHP pilot speaking.

We're currently flying over the Midwest at 37,000 feet.

If you look out the bottom of the plane, you'll see Iowa.

-Bottom of the plane?

[wailing]

[screaming]

-Looks like it doesn't matter if she's driving a car or

flying a jetpack.

Alex still can't steer.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): I hope she sees that--

[clang]

---water tower.

[groaning]

[phone rinding]

-Clover, Sam?

Can you read me?

-We're in the cornfield.

It's like a maze.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Oh, yeah.

I can see you.

Hello!

The corn's being cut in some kind of pattern.

It looks like a giant sandal.

I'm sending a picture of this back to WOOHP.

[screaming]

-We're not coming back from this mission with aliens, just

some corn dust in our hair.

-Um, just a tip.

Don't try that move during your driver's test.

-Right.

[rustling]

[gasp]

-Who's there?

-I don't write this.

-Me neither.

[scary music playing]

[grunting]

-Oh, we didn't mean to scare you.

I'm Toby.

This is Jed.

-Talk about out of this world.

-I'm Sam, and this is Alex and Clover.

We're c-- corn inspectors.

We you here the night there were all those lights?

-We sure were.

Our body Caleb got picked right up into a spaceship.

-We've been looking for him ever since.

-What did this spaceship look like?

-It looked like a kumquat.

-No, more like a big old rutabaga.

-Oh, you've got hog slop in your eyes.

-Do you guys take snack breaks out here?

-No.

The nearest burger place is 40 miles away.

-Then either there were other humans here the night Caleb

got snatched, or the aliens went through the drive-through

before getting down to business.

-Hasn't my hair suffered enough?

-Maybe the aliens have come back.

-Huh?

-You girls better check that out.

I'm gonna stay here and, you know, protect the corn?

-Someone should protect them from you.

[giggles]

-Who are you, and what are you doing here?

-We're relatives of the people who disappeared.

We're trying to figure out what's going on.

-Ah.

Well, I'm Dr. Sagan Hawking.

I'm an astronomer.

-Cool!

I'm a Virgo.

-I'm studying the abductions, as well.

If we're facing an alien invasion, I want to know just

what we're up against.

Anything you've learned might be helpful.

-Oh, we'd love to help.

-Well, then hop in.

I'll fly you to my little workshop in the Rockies.

[music playing]

[door buzzing]

-Awesome!

Everything in this place has to do with researching aliens.

-Awesome?

Or completely insane?

You make the call.

DR. HAWKING (OFFSCREEN): This way, girls.

-Hey, what does Gooper--

-I'll, uh, take those.

Thank you.

Now, then, if you will direct your attention to the table.

The stars indicate where the abductions have taken place.

My theory is that aliens are capturing members of different

cultures and studying them so they can decide where to start

the full invasion.

-Huh?

-There are a lot of countries they haven't hit yet.

I sure hope they won't visit Beverly Hills.

-And my computers are predicting the next abduction

will take place right here, in a bazaar in Saudi Arabia.

-Oh, thanks for your time, Doctor.

-Wait!

You promised you'd tell me what you've learned, remember?

-Oh.

-We've learned the alien ship may look like a kumquat--

or a rutabaga.

-I see.

Well, I trust you'll contact me if you find

out anything else.

And I'll do the same for you, of course.

-Time to sheik our booties to Saudi Arabia.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): This is so my kind of mission--

undercover in bargain city.

-Hello?

Focus.

You never know what might be around the next--

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Something tells me they're not

here for the sale.

[gasp]

[music playing]

[gasp]

[grunting]

-Now, that's what I call follow for a girl.

[gasp]

-Nice meeting you guys, but I've gotta go.

See ya!

-Uh-oh.

-I don't care how good the deals are here.

Next time, I shop online.

[clang]

-Nobody touches my hair!

-I could swear I saw that in a movie.

-Just remember driver's ed.

[honking]

-Plan ahead when steering.

Identify hazards.

Signal turns.

Never ever tailgate.

-You all right, Alex?

-Totally.

But these guys knew we were going to be here,

like we were set up.

[grunts]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Gooper again.

And look at that burger bag--

just like the one Clover found back in Iowa.

Something tells me Dr. Hawking is connected.

-Afternoon, ladies.

-Hey, Jerry, does the name Gooper mean anything to you?

-Sorry, it doesn't.

But I'll check on it.

However, I do have some information about that pattern

you found in the cornfield.

-Is it an alien message?

-I'm not sure.

But those shapes represent numbers.

They're latitude and longitude coordinate for an isolated

mesa in Mexico.

You'll fly there in this new WOOHP transport prototype.

I'm sure you'll love it.

-Cool!

[music playing]

[wailing]

[grunting]

-Iowa, Colorado, Saudi Arabia, Mexico--

I mean, I wish we got frequent flyer miles for all

the places we go.

-Tell me about it.

If there were aliens, we could go visit them on their planet.

[crickets and frogs chirping]

-Huh?

-Aliens, for real!

-Maybe.

-Cover me.

I'm checking this out.

-Cover her?

Against the Starship Enormoprise?

-We can't let her go alone.

Come on!

-Got a plan yet?

-I was hoping maybe you did.

-Just a second.

We're talking.

-Well, here I am.

Now what?

OK.

No presh, Alex.

Just the first communication between our two planets.

Um, hey!

What's up?

-Excuse me?

-Did you just speak English?

-Actually, I'm better at French.

But I'm pretty good in English and more than 25 other

intergalactic dialogues.

[screaming]

-Why have you been abducting people?

-We've never done that.

It's the Goopers.

-You know about Gooper?

-There was a distress message carved by our friends in the

wheat fields saying they'd been captured by evil Goopers.

We came as quickly as we could to save them, but the Goopers

were waiting for us.

-I'd better let my friends know what's going on.

Great.

It's jammed.

Clover and Sam, I'm trapped in an alien ship.

Hope you can track me.

Come quick.

Love, Alex.

So tell me more about the Goopers.

Are they evil aliens?

DR. HAWKING (OFFSCREEN): Not quite.

[gasps]

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Dr. Hawking.

Have the Goopers captured you, too?

[chuckling]

-Captured me?

They're working for me.

And you, little spy, are my prisoner.

-But we told you, we're just--

-Oh, that's right.

Concerned relatives.

Please.

I saw you land your jetpacks in that cornfield.

I made up that whole astronomer story to find out

how much you knew.

-So who are you?

-I am a leader of Gooper.

[screaming]

-Whoa.

I had the freakiest dream.

Me, too.

Thank goodness it's over.

[gasps]

-Don't be afraid.

We won't hurt you.

Finally,

-Finally, someone who doesn't want to hurt us.

-W-- w-- wait.

Wait, wait.

Did you just speak English?

Freaky.

-Cool, but yeah.

Freaky.

-It's Alex.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): I'm trapped in an alien ship.

Hope you can track me.

Come quick.

Love, Alex.

-She's trapped on that ship.

-The Goopers got her, just like they got our friend.

Why would they do this?

We would never hurt anyone.

-Goopers, huh?

Sounds like we've all got a reason to get to that big

spaceship.

-Yeah, but how are the four of us going to follow Alex with

just two jetpack backpacks?

-Leave that to us.

-All right.

Just what is Gooper anyway?

-Global Organization Of Pilfering

Extraterrestrial Resources.

I tracked this ship over Iowa, then jammed its equipment.

Now, this ship and its crew work for me.

And thanks to the distress message we left in that

cornfield, I have two ships to aid in my plan.

-What plan?

-To create fear.

And when Earth is completely terrified of an invasion, I'll

force the aliens to make their demands.

The abductions will only stop if the world's governments

hand over all their wealth.

-What happens to people you've already abducted?

-Oh, yes.

That is a situation.

I guess they'll have to be disposed of.

In fact, you'll be the first to test my Obliterator.

Uh, report to me when you're finished.

I'll be in the control room.

-Wow.

You gave our Sky Skimmer a major upgrade.

And it has tracking equipment so we can find our friends.

-Like, how do you know how to do all this?

-Back on our home planet, we're an elite team of spies.

Let's go.

-Dress me up in veils, huh?

Well, look who's laughing now?

-That would be me.

[gasps]

[yelling]

-That won't stop them for long.

Come on!

Get 'em!

ALIEN SPY (OFFSCREEN): How will we get inside?

-We'll just walk through the door.

-What door?

-Aha.

-That door.

-Oh.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): That must be the Obliterator.

CALEB (OFFSCREEN): No, let me go!

Help!

Help!

-Look!

That must be Caleb, the guy who was

abducted from the cornfield.

ALIEN SPY (OFFSCREEN): They're going to use it on those

people.

-Not if we can help it.

But how can the two of us stop all those Goons?

GOON (OFFSCREEN): Not to mention us.

There's nowhere to run.

-OK.

I'm ready to be rescued now.

Are we glad to see you.

Dr. Hawking's behind all this.

I'd tell you more, but it looks like

we still have company.

-Now, it's our turn to help you.

-Neat toy.

Where'd you get it?

-From our spy supervisor, Jay Ri.

-Jerry?

-No, Jay Ri.

CALEB (OFFSCREEN): Help!

-Up and over, girls.

-You guys free the aliens.

I'm going for that big, nasty thingamajig.

-Let's see.

Pulse magnitude, strength indicator.

Here it is.

-Merci beaucoup.

-You speak French, too?

-Yeah, and more than 25 another

intergalactic dialects.

-Merci beaucoup.

-Why don't these things come with an off switch?

You again?

Sorry, I just had my hair cut.

-Dr. Hawking's in the control room.

[music playing]

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Don't touch another button!

-Get them.

[struggling]

-Give it up, Doctor.

-Hurry up, girls.

She just programmed--

-Stay back!

Or I'll crash this ship into Mexico City.

If I can't have this technology, no one can.

-Well, you definitely can't have it.

[struggling]

[wailing]

-We're going down.

-Tell us something we don't know.

Steer us clear of the city.

-Me?

Steer?

-There's no one else!

Alex!

-Wait a minute.

Uh, these controls look kind of familiar.

It's almost exactly like the car from my

driver's ed class, I think.

-Then start driving.

-Maybe if I do this.

[screaming]

-I can't keep her up anymore.

I've got to set her down.

There's just enough room there.

I'm gonna park it like a pro.

[wailing]

-Excuse me, driving is hard enough.

-You got it?

-Please, return your seats to their upright positions.

We have landed.

I sure hope I'll pass my driving test after that.

-If you ever need your corn inspected,

um, here's my number.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Bye, guys.

Have a safe flight.

-Merci beaucoup!

-Maybe someday we can visit them on their planet.

-Maybe.

But right now, you've got a test to take.

-I've never seen a student make such quick progress.

How did you do it, Alex?

-I practiced on a giant alien spaceship.

-So, where do you want to drive first.

-Definitely the mall.

I want to see if I can attract three times as many boys, now

that I can drive.

[crash]

[sobbing]

[laughing]

-Oh, man.

I guess I still need practice with the parking brake.

[theme music]

[theme music]