Original subtitles

Thirty four

Thirty five

Thirty seven?

Nooo!

Oh I have to go all the way around again

I had the locker dream again

Oh honey

That's four nights in a row

Stupid recurring dreams

why can't brains come up with something new?

That's why they're losing viewers to Netflix

Maybe i should talk to a therapist

Sweety our insurance won't pay anymore sessions

your father used them all up on grief counceling

after the Hallowen candy ran out

I've come to accept that we were very lucky to have it

while we did

But I knew a cheap place where you can see the therapist of tomorrow

Today

Behold

Springfield community college

Where the students practice on you

I only pay the student dentist $12

for this brand new crown

See?

I don't think it's supposed to come out

That's why I pay the student paralegal to sue him

I lost

Oh Yarr!

Yarrrr!

TV must be a circle

Give him the full flea dip and deluxe under-warming

I am not a dog

and i've been worm-free for two weeks

You better muzzle him

He's a biter

My name is Annette

and a therapist-in-training

I am also a mother-to-be

So I know there's nothing more beautiful

than a child's feelings

You sound so caring and professional

when do I give you the $7?

There's a shoe box by the door

So what does my locker dream mean?

Am I stressed about school?

I mean schools are full of lockers

Hey, who's the almost therapist here?

You know

I think you might benefit from art therapy

Draw in these empty panels

to tell the story of a typical day

in the life of you

Sophia Barnum

Huh?

Once again

Learn the patient's name

Sorry professor

Lisa Simpson

Excellent, continue

Your light's still on

Art therapy

Okay, draw a typical day

Horrible

it looks like it was drawn by an eight-year-old

Oh boy I can't wait to take you to the park

the other owners would be so jealous

you're not my owner

Uh, I kinda am

I am hearing a lot of feelings in here

You're hearing them because i am not drawing them

Oh sweety

Drawing is tricky

but you just need to start with something simple

like people

those are people

It's easy honey

Add some eyelashes here

some crosshatching to show shadow

vary the line width here to accent the outline

And voila!

That's great

Now in the next panel

I want her to be looking out the window

wondering if she'll ever get out

from under the wait of her own expectations

Well, I could make the eyebrows come down in a V

that says it all

Hey, mom

why if I told you the things I was feeling

and you drew them?

Okay

But I am warning you

I am not good at drawing turtle feet

so if there's any turtle in this

they're gonna be wearing sneakers

deal

It starts with story of a regular day

##

##

##

##

##

##

Gosh, I forgot how hard school can be for a sensitive kid

it's miserable

but you captured my feelings perfectly

Annette, wait till you see my art therapy

you're gonna love it too

please try to pretend i am not here

Okay Steven

Hey

where'd it go?

Best marriage counceling ever

but we still need to discuss your addiction to unboxing videos

Do not make me choose between you and unboxing

Manga

It's been a week and i still can't find my therapy comic

I'd be just mortified if even one person

saw my private thoughts of...

Oh mom

can i have permission to swear?

Okay as long as it's a tier one

Damn it

that didnt work

Can i go to tear two?

I am afraid not

Damn it

And with that seal cut

we're completed the unboxing of the outer shipping plastic

Indeed we have

You published my private art therapy as a comic book?

Uhm, it's actually a graphic novel

the distinctions are threefold

- Shut up - Okay then

Uhm, in my defense

my wife did it

Kumiko, how could you?

I have acted shamefully

I must commit furry cosplay

There's nothing sexier about shame

Except in my native Japan, where it's our whole thing

Mr and Mrs Book guy

You have no right to do this

these are my daughter's feelings

and my doodles

I shall burn them on a prye

and disperse them to the seven winds

That's all I ask

One Sad Girl please

Sad Girl the best

It's tragically delicious

Wait

Maybe this isn't so bad

My Lulus

Uh, there she is

Ask for her autograph

You ask her, man I am freaking out

Wow Lisa

Our cartoon book seems to have really captured the...

what's word i am looking for?

Zeitgeist

Uh Hey Mel

Say hi to Barbara for me

I am not your messenger boy

What's so great about graphic novels?

They're just comic books with no super heroes

and no cool sound effects

like "Thwam"

"Ack, ack, ack, ack, ack"

And "Fwwwip"

Snag!

Lisa, Kumiko called

She's sold out all copies and wants us to make a sequel

That's like a prequel but in the future

what do you say sweetie?

Do you have more sad in you?

I've got scads of sad

Okay

Now draw me overhearing the other girls talking about

how're they not gonna invite me to a birthday party

Like this?

Fantastic

Now let's take a little break

and you know what that means

Hot Sharpie!

Hot Sharpie!

Hot Sharpie!

You almost got me

How come we never bond like that?

I don't know

You never make the first move

Okay

There's something I always wanted to do with you

Hey those guys stole our fishing poles

And my skipping stones

Welcome to Chicks with Pix

A panel discussion with women writers and artists

I am your moderator Roz Chast

You may know my New Yorker Cartoons

that are both funy ha-ha

and funy aha

Silence

Joining me today

are Alison Bechdel

Marjane Satapri

and the creators of Sad Girl

Lisa Simpsons

we love you Lisa

And Marge Simpson

We're wasting time

Marjane, as the author of the Persepolis,

and someone who grew up in a repressive regime

What advice would you offer to young women

Always remember

Nothing gives more valuable than your own unique voice

Also

When they promise you a tote bag

from doing a panel

make sure it's not about a reusable grocery bag

Look at this!

Alison Bechdel

Recently, a lot of people have been talking about the Bechdel test

Exactly what kind of drinking game is that?

Actually,

It's just an observation I made about how movies and TV

rarely show two women talking about something other than a man

That's so interesting

I'll have to tell my husband about that

Boo!

Okay

We have five minutes before we have to clear the room

for the "White Men in Comics" panel

I have a question for Lisa

I have a question for Lisa with a follow up for Lisa

I want to talk about myself for a few minutes

then at the end, pretend it was all a question for Lisa

Does anyone have any question for my mom?

She does draw every panel

Ya I have a question for Marge

How lucky are you to work with Lisa?

Lisa!

Lisa wins

Marge fails

Honey

I was thinking

What if we did a chapter from the mom's point of view

I took a stab at writing it up

Give it a read

In front of you?

Uhm...Okay

What are you laughing at?

You left out a word here?

So it just says "I lonely"

So should I start drawing it?

Well, there's a lot of great stuff here

Really?

Because that's what I was going for

But I am not sure this is a Sad Girl thing

Maybe it's a separate book and...

I could write the foreword

Oh I get it

This isn't the real collaboration at all

You agree with those girls fanboys

You think it's all about you

Hey, you can't blame me if people wanna focus on my contribution

I can and I do

I hate to say it mom,

but maybe we should take a break

Good idea

Hot Sharpie

No, I mean maybe

we should take a real break

You mean?

That's right

I wanna see other illustrators

Ladies there's someone here to see you

My name is Guthrie Frenel

Visionary theatrical director and impish genius

And i want to make Sad Girl into a smash broadway show

I think he came in through the window

Oh tubby you're delight

You wanna make Sad Girl into a stage musical?

If I may borrow a phrase from my father

Who-hoo!

This is all very exciting

but before we go any further

And I ask this just for clarification

What's your deal weirdo?

Dad!

Guthrie Frenel is a visionary director and an impish genius

He did a version of Waiting for Godot

where Godot appears in the first scene

What?

And that was nothing compare to my vision for Sad Girl

I want to do something new and amazing

Like my All-dog version of cats

But I need something from you

Anything

I need your passion

I need your joy

Are we all together for this three-person toboggan

ride down mounth Collabor-manjaro

Well,

Lisa and I did just have a little spat

Yeah but conflict is part of the creative process right?

Not in my experience

So..,

Are you in?

- Yes - Absolutely

Oh, this is gona take hours

Bart, there's one thing I know about Broadway shows

They always make money

So I am already looking forward to quitting my job

Can I quit school?

I would be a pretty lousy dad if I said no

It's our duty as artists

to rip up the contract between audience and performers

Cell phones would be turned on

Candy would be unwrapped during the show

We'll hire performance artists to make the line

for the ladies room extra long

Uhm, how close are we gonna stick to the story from my graphic novel

Oh yes

Story

All the gimmicky in stagecraft in the world

aint worth a thinker's damn without compelling human story

at the center

Your story

The unique expression of your heart and soul

Will be neatly summed up in the narrator's first speech

Once that's out of the way

we can explore the dazzling visual buffet of Marge Simpson

Now feast

Pass the wonderment please

but save room for the Tonys

Oh my God

It's just how I drew it

It's your artistic vision

writ large

Or should I say Writ Marge

You should

You really shouldn't

It's all in my style

Mom

He's ignoring my story and making this all about your drawings

I know

I am sorry Lisa

But I can't help it if he wants to focus on the visual part...

Oh my God it's Bart and Grandpa

But they aren't even in my book

And where am I? Where Sad Girl?

Sad Girl will be represented by voiceless red light

projected into an empy seat in the balcony

Bold, no?

But how would they know it is supposed to be me?

Storytelling

That impish genius is really cheesing me off

All he's kept from Sad Girl is mom's drawings

when it's supposed to be about my writing

And my feelings

Oh I am so sick of children's feelings

Feed me, burb me, don't sleep for sixty years

You're forgeting the boundary between

Patient and therapist

And you're forgeting that you did this to me

Let me tell you something Lisa

When you give birth to something

you have no control of what it turns into

All you can do is surrender to the nightmare

Sorry, I am just so happy

Never do this

Here they are

The official Sad Girl the theater experience T-shirt

$45 in the lobby of which we keep $1.35

Oh baby we can use that money to buy a sail boat

with a double-ended spinnaker pole

Looks good

I like it

I like everything

Really?

You seemed a little cheesed off earlier

A mother notices

Mom,

Sad Girl was like our baby

and you can't control what your kid turns into

If it becomes a succesful show,

that would be good for our family

Now if you'll excuse me, I am gonna sit on the swing alone

Oh okay

Hello coast guard

get ready to search for my body in about a month

So, you're okay with this?

Sure, it's an honor to have something based on your life

even if it's nothing like your life at all

Sad Girl

What the hell does any of this mean?

What?

You don't get this?

It's so stimulating and I love it

What is that?

D'oh!

Uh Guthrie

Is it possible we strayed a skoosh too far

from what Lisa's book is about?

Marge this isn't "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown"

Or even my production of "You're A Good Man Charlie Brown"

set in a doomed Soviet submarine

This is avant-garde theater

and it is electric

Okay I guess

Oh Lisa

I am so sorry

There honey

Now you're back in our show

What the?

That's not one of my brain babies

Which one of us is me

Run for your cultural lives

I am haunted my visions of Milhouse

Nooo

And now to read the reviews

"Greatest" I like where this is going

"Disaster in Theater History"

Oh, those sons of Bs

Honey

I am sorry I let Guthrie make the play all about my drawings

and also terrible

And I am sorry I wasn't more open to your creative input

I blame both of you for this disaster

More wine!

I've got another project for us to collaborate on

Getting your dad in a cab

Hello coast guard

I am gonna live