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1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:04,990
Whoa, look out.
2
00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:10,490
Hey, where's our sailboat?
3
00:00:10,530 --> 00:00:13,500
Oh. It really tied
the room together.
4
00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:16,930
Yes. That painting
was great.
5
00:00:16,970 --> 00:00:19,000
Derivative, amateur seascape.
6
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:22,270
Maybe another animated
show stole it!
7
00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:24,810
We'll see about that!
8
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,010
Or maybe I sold it
on Craigslist.
9
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:29,680
Both things are
equally possible.
10
00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:31,080
This a TV show,
11
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,920
or did I walk into
a third grade shoebox diorama?
12
00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,550
Did you steal my painting?
13
00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:44,230
Out of the mouths of babes.
14
00:00:44,260 --> 00:00:47,700
♪ We're in the cookies ♪
♪ you hate to eat ♪
15
00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:51,570
♪ An unpleasant surprise ♪
♪ when you trick-or-treat... ♪
16
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,100
Boo! Boo!
17
00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:55,570
Snacks should be bad for you!
18
00:01:09,420 --> 00:01:12,090
Ew, what smells like comic
books and loneliness?
19
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,130
Oh, uh, certainly
not this cool cat.
20
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,730
Nope. That was spot-on.
21
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,300
But today I don't care.
22
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,100
Look what I got!
My painting!
23
00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:22,770
The pièce de résistance
of my memorabilia collection!
24
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,800
Not since I was
the winning bidder
25
00:01:24,830 --> 00:01:27,340
on a Ziploc full of
Jonathan Frakes' beard trimmings
26
00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:29,010
have I been so...
Aw, dang it.
27
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,510
Ooh! Gross! Raisin blood!
28
00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:38,520
Oh, I did it.
29
00:01:38,550 --> 00:01:39,980
Oh,.
30
00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:49,190
Bart and I haven't always been
the best of friends. Aah!
31
00:01:49,230 --> 00:01:51,830
And we're here to tell
you a story of a time
32
00:01:51,860 --> 00:01:53,140
when we really didn't get along.
33
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,130
But we found our way!
34
00:01:56,170 --> 00:01:58,600
And we like each other
better than ever!
35
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,040
Way to spoil the ending,
nerd-burger.
36
00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:03,940
Mmm, nerd-burger.
37
00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:07,040
It all began on the hottest
summer on record. Aah!
38
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,980
After years of pollution
in Springfield Bay,
39
00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:11,220
I am honored to announce
that these waters
40
00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,120
are now safe to swim in.
41
00:02:14,650 --> 00:02:18,460
Huzzah for a cleaner
Springfield!
42
00:02:18,490 --> 00:02:20,060
Er, uh, it's not cleaner.
43
00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:22,230
We just lowered
the safety standards.
44
00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:25,230
Yay!
45
00:02:29,070 --> 00:02:31,800
Okay, who's up
for a day at the beach?
46
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,670
I got all the beach I want
with Anzio Beach Invasion.
47
00:02:37,110 --> 00:02:40,010
Pathetic! I was there,
and it was nothing like that.
48
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:42,710
I surrender!
49
00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,920
I'll go in first so they
won't know it's a trap.
50
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,250
Yoink. Yoink.
51
00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:50,850
Movado!
52
00:03:02,970 --> 00:03:05,000
Well, that is the most
disgusting thing
53
00:03:05,030 --> 00:03:07,000
I've ever seen on a beach.
54
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,440
Kind of sad, really.
55
00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:14,240
A booger?
56
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,950
Real mature, guys, real mature.
57
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,250
A booger!
58
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,750
A human booger, indeed.
59
00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:24,520
Dolphin. Weak.
60
00:03:24,550 --> 00:03:26,190
Skull. Cliché.
61
00:03:26,220 --> 00:03:28,360
"I'd rather be fishing."
Not true.
62
00:03:28,390 --> 00:03:29,630
The bone?
63
00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:33,160
That's exactly what I'm bad to.
64
00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:37,330
Hmm.
65
00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:43,740
♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪
♪ if we were older? ♪
66
00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:47,310
♪ Then we wouldn't have ♪
♪ to wait so long ♪
67
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:51,250
♪ And wouldn't it be nice ♪
♪ to live together ♪
68
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:56,120
♪ In the kind of world ♪
♪ where we belong? ♪
69
00:03:56,150 --> 00:04:00,390
♪ You know it's gonna make it ♪
♪ that much better... ♪
70
00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:03,090
I'll take it!
71
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,000
Geronimo!
72
00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:19,480
It said "water-resistant."
73
00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,240
It resisted nothing!
74
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:22,780
Whee...!
75
00:04:22,810 --> 00:04:25,480
Whoa! Dope hat!
76
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,120
And check out my gnarly new tat!
77
00:04:28,150 --> 00:04:30,950
No fair!
I'm bad to the bone!
78
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,330
Mmm!
Okay, that's it.
79
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,130
Marge, I'm watching sports!
80
00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:44,030
Really? What's the score?
81
00:04:44,070 --> 00:04:47,170
Uh, the, uh, Boobs
are beating the Butts.
82
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,270
I don't think that's
the official terminology.
83
00:04:51,310 --> 00:04:52,840
Oh!
84
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,180
Maybe you should watch
this sport instead.
85
00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:57,380
Hmm.
86
00:04:57,410 --> 00:04:58,380
Mm-mm-mm.
87
00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:00,420
What do you know?
88
00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:04,190
Checkmate. Ha!
89
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,060
It's the only mate
I haven't buried.
90
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,290
Hey, Blobby Fischer, you're up.
91
00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:12,730
Do you even know
the names of the pieces?
92
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,830
Of course.
There's the King,
93
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:17,000
Mrs. King,
the Lightbulb Babies,
94
00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:19,500
the Mini Ashtray, Slit Face.
95
00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:23,010
And who could forget
Dr. Horse?
96
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,510
Want to put a 20 on it?
97
00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:26,980
Make it a 22.
98
00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:31,050
Checkmate.
99
00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:37,490
Another victim
of the Budapest Gambit.
100
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,160
How can Dad play chess?
101
00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:41,760
He can't even remember the rules
to Chutes and Ladders.
102
00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:44,530
I do so! You always
think ladders go down.
103
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,160
You can go down a ladder.
104
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,260
Oh, God, not this again.
105
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,723
I go down ladders all the time. Homer,
when did you learn to play chess?
106
00:05:50,730 --> 00:05:53,500
The truth is,
my dad and I used to play.
107
00:06:06,820 --> 00:06:08,850
He won't stop doing it.
108
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:11,050
That's jive, man.
109
00:06:11,090 --> 00:06:14,020
But I don't want
to talk about it.
110
00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:22,200
Whoa! Sweet lid, Lisa.
111
00:06:22,230 --> 00:06:24,070
Well, I'm bad to the bone.
112
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:25,870
I see no proof of that.
113
00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:27,600
Oh, yeah? Just look at this.
114
00:06:29,270 --> 00:06:33,240
Haw-haw! Bart's getting
beat up by a beach turkey!
115
00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:41,080
Hmm.
116
00:06:42,450 --> 00:06:43,990
Okay, a few ground rules.
117
00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:46,960
Everything I say,
I want five of.
118
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,960
Five Krusty Burgers...
119
00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:51,090
Got it. Five Krusty Burgers.
120
00:06:51,130 --> 00:06:53,100
No! I thought I was clear.
121
00:06:53,130 --> 00:06:55,100
25 Krusty Burgers!
122
00:06:55,130 --> 00:06:57,430
125 Krusty Burgers?
123
00:06:57,470 --> 00:06:59,970
No! That's not what I...
Fine.
124
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,510
Can I really toss this
thing she's so crazy about?
125
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:06,180
Damn right I can!
I'm bad to the bone!
126
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,450
Who the hell are you?
127
00:07:18,490 --> 00:07:19,820
I'm your guilt.
128
00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:20,920
I don't have any guilt.
129
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,690
You do now.
130
00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:24,860
Don't worry, Bart.
I'll protect you.
131
00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:26,660
I'm denial.
132
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,230
Ay, caramba!
133
00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:37,470
♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪
♪ if we were older? ♪
134
00:07:37,510 --> 00:07:41,440
♪ Then we wouldn't have ♪
♪ to wait so long? ♪
135
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,050
My hat!
136
00:07:52,090 --> 00:07:53,860
Sunny?
137
00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:11,240
Uh, no.
138
00:08:11,270 --> 00:08:13,180
Uh-uh.
139
00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:14,340
Oh.
140
00:08:15,510 --> 00:08:16,680
No.
141
00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,150
Nope.
142
00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:19,620
Not even close.
143
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:28,020
Do you have
any more yellow hats?
144
00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:30,590
You mean like the one you
looked really good in?
145
00:08:30,630 --> 00:08:32,630
Yes.
No.
146
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:35,030
Oh...
147
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,770
You're still here?
148
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,070
No offense, but you look worse.
149
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:47,080
Your lack of remorse
just makes me grow.
150
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,780
Now you're gettin' it.
151
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,020
Ha! Joke's on you...
I like gross things.
152
00:08:55,050 --> 00:08:56,250
Hmm.
153
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,120
Again! Again!
154
00:09:01,990 --> 00:09:03,960
And that leads to mate
155
00:09:03,990 --> 00:09:05,460
in three!
156
00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:07,960
I've got to say,
it's so exciting
157
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,470
to find out
something new about you.
158
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,640
Hey, I'm full of surprises.
159
00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:14,700
Ooh. Name another.
160
00:09:14,740 --> 00:09:15,910
Actually, that's it.
161
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:18,210
Tell me something I
don't know about you.
162
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,280
Okay.
163
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,810
Sometimes when I sweep,
I make little sweeping noises
164
00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:24,380
with my mouth.
165
00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:29,250
Oh, here comes the dustpan.
166
00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:34,760
I can't find Sunny anywhere.
167
00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:37,230
Sunny? No!
We got to find Sunny!
168
00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:38,460
Where... Wait.
169
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,160
The baby's name is Maggie.
170
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:46,600
Hey, beach bums.
Man, did I crash last night.
171
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,070
Always sleep well
after riding the waves.
172
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,170
Ah...
173
00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:53,910
Have you seen your sister's hat?
174
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:58,450
Oh, did-did she have a hat?
I-I don't remember any hat.
175
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,480
Her name was Sunny,
and I loved her more
176
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,650
than any girl ever loved a hat!
177
00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:05,960
Even Madeline
from the Madeline books?
178
00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:09,960
She only wore that because
it was part of her uniform.
179
00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:11,760
Ask Pepito.
180
00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:15,060
Mmm.
181
00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:21,070
Hey, hey, hey, I do not like
to see that going on in my bar.
182
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,610
Lenny, knight takes queen.
183
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,440
Barney, mate in four.
184
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:31,210
Homer! You're playing like
Polugaevsky at Mar del Plata.
185
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,890
Yeah, Homer, you're
some kind of a idiot savant.
186
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,120
Hey, I don't come here
to be insulted.
187
00:10:38,150 --> 00:10:40,190
Homer, we're just saying
youse got a special skill,
188
00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:43,630
like a smokin' monkey or
a urinal cake with an ad on it.
189
00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:46,230
Don't tell me you're not
flattered by those analogies.
190
00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:48,870
You guys think you're so hot.
191
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:51,130
I could fit in a piece
of carry-on luggage.
192
00:10:51,170 --> 00:10:53,170
Oh-ho, I'd like
to see that.
193
00:10:57,170 --> 00:11:00,340
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
194
00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:02,910
Oh, no.
I'm alone with my thoughts.
195
00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:04,880
No. No, no, no.
The healthiest thing
196
00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:06,650
is for me to let myself out.
197
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:08,250
Oh, sure thing, pal.
198
00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:11,790
Here you go.
199
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,090
So, Homer, how did you get
so good at chess?
200
00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:17,930
I played against my dad.
201
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,960
Uh, was that fun?
202
00:11:22,270 --> 00:11:25,330
It was, until I learned
the pieces weren't licorice.
203
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,670
We played every day
after my mother left us,
204
00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:31,270
and he won every time.
205
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:34,880
And every time he won,
he laughed that horrible laugh.
206
00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:38,110
Aw, Mona.
207
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,250
So I found a professor
208
00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:45,120
who lived nearby,
209
00:11:45,150 --> 00:11:48,020
a master of the game,
kind, patient,
210
00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:49,730
devoted to me.
211
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,000
I went every day.
212
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:56,070
You are ready now.
213
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,730
Thanks for the lessons,
Professor.
214
00:11:57,770 --> 00:12:01,100
You remind me of my son.
215
00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:03,770
Oh. Where is he now?
He's...
216
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:05,310
right over there.
217
00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:07,640
He just doesn't like chess.
218
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,820
I went back to play my dad.
219
00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:13,550
We had a beautiful thing here,
220
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:16,050
and you had to ruin it
by getting good!
221
00:12:16,090 --> 00:12:17,720
No more chess in this house!
222
00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:19,320
But, Dad, it's our thing.
223
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,990
Well, we'll find another thing.
224
00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:23,730
You listen to the radiator
hiss while I drink whiskey
225
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,430
under this naked lightbulb.
226
00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:32,340
It was a sad life,
but I wasn't affected.
227
00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:37,963
♪ They fight and fight ♪
♪ and fight ♪
228
00:12:37,970 --> 00:12:39,673
♪ Fight, fight, fight, ♪
♪ fight, fight, fight ♪
229
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,780
♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show. ♪
230
00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:46,650
I brought you
more lasagna, cousin.
231
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,680
Mmm.
232
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,360
You know these cartoons are made
233
00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:55,520
by exploiting Korean children?
234
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,960
You ruin everything.
235
00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:11,040
Bart? What is it?
236
00:13:11,070 --> 00:13:14,010
Um, listen, I have... I
have to tell you something.
237
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:17,610
I-I was jealous, and
I-I threw your hat away.
238
00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:21,890
Oh, that went a lot better
than I thought.
239
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,990
Why did you do it?
I don't know.
240
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,860
The important thing is you
got to forgive me right now.
241
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,320
I feel kind of guilty.
242
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,030
Then I hope your guilt
will grow...
243
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,960
and grow...
244
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,800
and grow.
245
00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:39,000
And no matter how much
you try to pretty it up...
246
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,270
it'll still be the most
hideous thing you could imagine!
247
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,150
Nerds! Get 'em!
248
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:56,550
A cupcake? Please.
249
00:13:57,620 --> 00:13:59,090
No.
250
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,490
Mm-mm.
251
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,060
So what?
252
00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:05,730
I'm truly sorry, Bart,
253
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:09,400
but it's a wound
nothing can heal.
254
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:11,500
A bunny and a hammer?
255
00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:14,440
Well, my mom did say
bring home dinner.
256
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,440
Homer, listen, hey,
257
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,740
I got something
very scary to tell you.
258
00:14:21,780 --> 00:14:23,910
Now, I was on this
alt-suicide subreddit,
259
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,580
you know,
just-just checking in,
260
00:14:25,610 --> 00:14:28,580
and I found out why you
are so good at chess.
261
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,190
Go on.
262
00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:34,390
Chess represents your desire
to kill your father.
263
00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:36,460
What the...?
That's ridiculous!
264
00:14:36,490 --> 00:14:37,960
Now, I'm here to bowl!
265
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,430
You'll end up in the gutter!
266
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,470
Oh, my head!
267
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,770
Oh! I'll sue!
268
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,040
I can't afford the copay!
269
00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:49,070
Won't someone reset us!
270
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:51,070
Well, at least I'm safe.
271
00:14:58,110 --> 00:14:59,980
I'm in luck!
It's still here!
272
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:03,990
My hat!
273
00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:06,490
Aah! My car!
And my house.
274
00:15:16,270 --> 00:15:18,830
Homer, before you give up,
275
00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:22,070
I Skyped someone who knows
a little bit about chess.
276
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:24,410
Oh, I don't think
any chess master
277
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:28,640
or even international master
could understand how I feel.
278
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,580
I'm world chess champion
Magnus Carlsen.
279
00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:34,350
I understand Norwegian!
280
00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:37,020
When I heard a fellow chess
player had a mental problem,
281
00:15:37,050 --> 00:15:38,450
I Skyped at once.
282
00:15:38,490 --> 00:15:39,990
I'm not a chess player anymore.
283
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,660
From now on,
I'm only playing Stratego!
284
00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:45,130
I cannot play Stratego...
I'm scared of the bomb.
285
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,860
Yeah, tell me about it.
286
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:49,170
Homer, I'm afraid
you cannot run away from chess.
287
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,030
The reason I got into chess
288
00:15:51,070 --> 00:15:53,000
was because
it didn't involve running.
289
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,770
I share your disdain
for exercise.
290
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,010
Now I will say something
with all the emotion
291
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,240
a Norwegian can muster.
292
00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:05,180
To find your true feelings,
293
00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:08,020
you must finish your final
chess match with your father.
294
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,220
I'm sorry,
you cut out for a second.
295
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:11,320
Did you gasp?
296
00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:12,660
Then you will nod.
297
00:16:12,690 --> 00:16:14,890
Then you will eat
a piece of cheese
298
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,330
while the wife doesn't look.
299
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,990
Then you will undo
the top button of your pants.
300
00:16:19,030 --> 00:16:21,200
I'm always three moves ahead.
301
00:16:23,370 --> 00:16:24,630
D'oh!
302
00:16:24,670 --> 00:16:27,470
Okay, I don't have
to move the cube.
303
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,640
I just have to get the hat out.
304
00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:31,040
Ga-der!
305
00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:33,010
I never thought
I'd sink this low,
306
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,140
but I need help from God.
307
00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:38,180
Let our faith lift up
this cube, Lord.
308
00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:40,180
Huh?
309
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:42,190
Aw.
310
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:44,750
Thanks for nothing.
311
00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:54,060
Huh? The soda ate
right through the metal!
312
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,130
I'm just glad I'm not a car.
313
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,940
Ah. I just have to get more.
314
00:17:02,970 --> 00:17:04,710
Hit it, boys!
315
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:10,280
And... evil
thoughts.
316
00:17:16,990 --> 00:17:19,360
Boys, are you
performing miracles?
317
00:17:19,390 --> 00:17:21,860
Jesus is performing them
through us.
318
00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:23,460
Well, all right, then.
319
00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:29,030
I'm here to play chess,
we're gonna play chess,
320
00:17:29,060 --> 00:17:31,730
and not another word!
I play chess?
321
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:54,120
An excellent move by Homer.
322
00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:57,990
A stout defense by Grampa.
323
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:02,470
Doesn't anyone want
to watch the Super Bowl?
324
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,430
Get lost!
325
00:18:05,870 --> 00:18:07,600
Homer has the win in hand.
326
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,610
He merely needs
to take Grampa's knight.
327
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,240
Oh, he's gonna be a new man.
328
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:13,110
A new man, you hear me?
329
00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:15,810
Can I go?
It's, like, 4:00 a.m. for me.
330
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:16,950
Sure. Fine.
331
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:18,310
Uh, who is that guy?
332
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:20,650
Magnus Carlsen...
my cousin.
333
00:18:31,060 --> 00:18:34,160
Isn't a father
more important than a victory?
334
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,730
I've never really known either.
335
00:18:40,070 --> 00:18:42,270
You resign?!
336
00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:44,510
Dad, Dad, it seems I love you.
337
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,880
Can't you say it seems
you love me, too?
338
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,010
Aw...
339
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,180
my son loves me.
340
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:51,110
Now I can die in peace.
341
00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:52,010
Really?
342
00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:53,350
Hold your horses!
343
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,050
Lisa! Stupid Lisa!
344
00:18:57,090 --> 00:18:59,120
I've got something to show you!
345
00:18:59,150 --> 00:19:00,460
I found Sunny!
346
00:19:00,490 --> 00:19:02,230
I don't want the hat anymore.
347
00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:05,030
What? You really don't have
any choice in the matter.
348
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:06,860
Here!
I told you,
349
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,700
the wound won't heal.
350
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,970
Your best bet is to forget me
and start fresh with Maggie.
351
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,000
She likes raisins, Bart.
Give her raisins.
352
00:19:23,010 --> 00:19:26,320
♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪
♪ if we were older? ♪
353
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:28,150
♪ Then we wouldn't have... ♪
354
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:31,050
He's trying to be nice.
355
00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:35,160
Now what's your problem?
356
00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:37,360
Oh, shut up! I forgive you!
357
00:19:37,390 --> 00:19:38,690
You forgive me?
358
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:43,200
Yes. In the right hat,
anything is possible.
359
00:19:45,570 --> 00:19:49,140
Why does everyone feel so good
when I leave?!
360
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,010
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
This will come in handy.
361
00:19:59,820 --> 00:20:01,120
What's going on here?
362
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:02,790
Bart and I are friends again.
363
00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:05,290
I do some of my best fathering
364
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,090
when I'm not around.
365
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:10,460
Hey, who are you?
Oh, you'll find out.
366
00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:15,930
Listen, pal, I have plenty of demons.
Get in line.
367
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,130
How you doing?
Drunk!
368
00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:18,900
Hey, I thought you were sloth.
369
00:20:18,930 --> 00:20:20,600
Sloths can be drunk.
370
00:20:26,170 --> 00:20:27,173
So we learned Bart
has a conscience.
371
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:28,140
Haw-haw!
372
00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:29,980
You have a conscience!
373
00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:31,580
Closed set!
374
00:20:31,610 --> 00:20:33,580
My mom's dating your gaffer.
375
00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:35,320
Jack! Is that true?
376
00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:37,150
I'm... not proud of it.
377
00:20:37,190 --> 00:20:41,820
You seemed pretty proud when
you ate all our ramen noodles.
378
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,970
Listen, I got to know.
Do you chess guys get groupies?
379
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000
Homer, I wish you could stop.
380
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:53,770
These Skypes aren't free.
381
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,170
Yes, they are.
382
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,210
I still don't want
to talk to you.
383
00:21:07,150 --> 00:21:09,790
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
384
00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:28,900
Shh!
26463
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