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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,921 --> 00:00:02,893 ♪♪ "Deck The Halls" Instrumental plays... 2 00:00:02,951 --> 00:00:06,429 Ho! Ho! Ho! *THE SIMPSONS* Season 29 Episode 09 Title: "Gone Boy" 3 00:00:10,996 --> 00:00:12,468 Happy birthd...! 4 00:00:16,648 --> 00:00:18,039 Aaah! 5 00:00:27,747 --> 00:00:30,476 ♪♪ Playing Slow-Tempo "Jingle Bells"... 6 00:00:30,533 --> 00:00:32,533 ♪♪ 7 00:00:32,765 --> 00:00:35,773 ♪♪ Playing lively Jazz... 8 00:00:35,830 --> 00:00:38,773 ♪♪ 9 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,316 Mm. 10 00:00:42,374 --> 00:00:45,754 ♪♪ 11 00:00:46,204 --> 00:00:49,906 ♪♪ 12 00:01:11,340 --> 00:01:12,777 D'oh! 13 00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:19,590 ♪♪ "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" Instrumental Plays... 14 00:01:24,354 --> 00:01:25,606 D'oh! 15 00:01:39,148 --> 00:01:41,020 ♪ Pickin' up trash ♪ 16 00:01:41,078 --> 00:01:42,660 ♪ Put it in the bag ♪ 17 00:01:42,718 --> 00:01:44,619 ♪ Kentucky chicken bucket ♪ 18 00:01:44,677 --> 00:01:46,434 ♪ Put it in the bag ♪ 19 00:01:46,492 --> 00:01:49,785 ♪ Makin' four cents an hour and free cigarettes ♪ 20 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,478 ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ 21 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,500 You have done a beautiful job, ladies. 22 00:01:55,558 --> 00:01:57,492 I think we're ready to move on. 23 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,305 Ah! Homer! 24 00:02:08,856 --> 00:02:10,557 I'm awake! I'm awake! What? 25 00:02:10,615 --> 00:02:12,289 Oh, I wish you hadn't done that. 26 00:02:12,347 --> 00:02:14,563 Someone adopted this highway. 27 00:02:14,664 --> 00:02:15,734 Not so loud. 28 00:02:15,797 --> 00:02:17,438 The highway doesn't know it's adopted. 29 00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:19,430 But we love it just the same. 30 00:02:19,563 --> 00:02:22,632 Well, at least you rented an SUV for this trip. 31 00:02:22,729 --> 00:02:24,997 Now I don't have to clean up the mess. 32 00:02:25,670 --> 00:02:28,614 Uh! I'm starting to get carsick. 33 00:02:28,709 --> 00:02:30,553 Quick, stick your head out the window! 34 00:02:30,611 --> 00:02:32,154 No, no, no, no, it's a rental. 35 00:02:32,212 --> 00:02:33,693 Aim inside and blast away. 36 00:02:33,751 --> 00:02:35,420 Anyone want a caramel apple? 37 00:02:35,478 --> 00:02:37,373 - It's a rental. - No, thanks. 38 00:02:37,482 --> 00:02:38,604 Shave the dog? 39 00:02:38,718 --> 00:02:40,068 It's a rental. 40 00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:41,894 Thank you, no. 41 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,818 Get me candy. 42 00:02:48,811 --> 00:02:50,053 What's so funny? 43 00:02:50,131 --> 00:02:52,228 Ha! You checked this out with half a tank, 44 00:02:52,286 --> 00:02:53,822 but now it's three-quarters full. 45 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:58,025 I'm callin' you Santa 'cause you just gifted us one-quarter tank. 46 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:02,322 Nobody, and I mean nobody, calls me Santa. 47 00:03:03,256 --> 00:03:04,824 What are you doing, Dad? 48 00:03:04,882 --> 00:03:06,661 I'm gonna burn that quarter tank. 49 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:08,752 Wasting gas while sitting on my ass. 50 00:03:08,833 --> 00:03:10,275 It's the American way. 51 00:03:12,865 --> 00:03:14,332 Whoo-hoo! 52 00:03:29,152 --> 00:03:31,129 Amazing, son! 53 00:03:31,187 --> 00:03:34,629 Unfortunately, your left foot just grazed the sideline. 54 00:03:34,687 --> 00:03:35,871 Incomplete pass. 55 00:03:35,929 --> 00:03:37,520 Dad, I've got to pee. 56 00:03:37,988 --> 00:03:39,074 Huh? Huh? 57 00:03:39,132 --> 00:03:41,848 I know it's a rental, but I'd rather go in the woods. 58 00:03:41,925 --> 00:03:43,159 Maybe I should come with you. 59 00:03:43,311 --> 00:03:44,777 Dad, come on. I'm ten years old. 60 00:03:44,835 --> 00:03:46,282 I can pee by myself. It's easy. 61 00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:47,863 You just shake it when you're through. 62 00:03:47,921 --> 00:03:49,215 You do what now? 63 00:03:51,849 --> 00:03:53,637 - Sketch what you see. - Hmm? 64 00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:13,440 Bart, where are you?! 65 00:04:13,637 --> 00:04:15,455 - Bart! - What is it? 66 00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:18,462 Bart...! 67 00:04:18,639 --> 00:04:21,713 Bart! 68 00:04:21,825 --> 00:04:23,565 I don't know, but I can't shoot it. 69 00:04:23,651 --> 00:04:24,674 Looks like it's pregnant. 70 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,155 Ah, let's wait till they're born, 71 00:04:26,213 --> 00:04:27,658 and then we'll, uh, shoot 'em all. 72 00:04:30,158 --> 00:04:31,900 Where the heck were you? 73 00:04:31,963 --> 00:04:33,150 Where's Bart? 74 00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:35,109 Okay, this is the hardest news 75 00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:36,908 in the world for a mother to hear. 76 00:04:37,001 --> 00:04:38,904 Just ease her into it. 77 00:04:39,088 --> 00:04:41,322 Um, you know that sewing room you wanted, 78 00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:43,510 but we could never figure out where? 79 00:04:43,624 --> 00:04:45,103 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 80 00:04:45,161 --> 00:04:46,455 What? My special little guy. 81 00:04:46,513 --> 00:04:47,720 Don't worry, Lou. 82 00:04:47,956 --> 00:04:49,556 If there's one thing I've mastered, 83 00:04:49,614 --> 00:04:52,236 it's consoling distraught parents. 84 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,033 Ma'am? Ma'am? 85 00:04:54,091 --> 00:04:56,955 Can you describe your son's skeleton? 86 00:04:57,013 --> 00:04:59,377 Ooh! You incompetent... 87 00:04:59,435 --> 00:05:01,102 Look, look, your boy's gonna be fine. 88 00:05:01,211 --> 00:05:02,510 Now we laid out a grid 89 00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:05,169 and have search teams fanning out over the forest. 90 00:05:07,965 --> 00:05:10,431 I'm sorry, but, uh, because of the grid, 91 00:05:10,489 --> 00:05:13,533 we have to suspend the search and bring in some ambulances. 92 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:20,236 Where is my son?! 93 00:05:23,983 --> 00:05:25,877 Where am I? 94 00:05:30,681 --> 00:05:31,948 Hmm. 95 00:05:33,924 --> 00:05:35,524 Huh. 96 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,728 Welcome to Strategic Air Command, Springfield Station. 97 00:05:45,786 --> 00:05:48,388 If you're watching this tape, half the world is doomed. 98 00:05:48,526 --> 00:05:50,395 Says you, General Dead Guy. 99 00:05:50,548 --> 00:05:52,650 Behind you is a Titan II missile, 100 00:05:52,756 --> 00:05:54,439 key to a mighty line of defense 101 00:05:54,497 --> 00:05:58,234 that will reduce our casualties to an acceptable 200 million. 102 00:06:02,569 --> 00:06:03,868 Dud. 103 00:06:03,926 --> 00:06:05,693 Ay, caramba! 104 00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:08,200 - Bart? - Bart! 105 00:06:08,438 --> 00:06:10,727 - Bart! - Bart! 106 00:06:10,887 --> 00:06:14,571 Now don't worry, I have the best dang bloodhound in the county. 107 00:06:14,629 --> 00:06:17,001 Uh, does your boy smell like a fox? 108 00:06:17,108 --> 00:06:19,043 - No. - We're of no use to you. 109 00:06:20,992 --> 00:06:23,610 Come on, Bart. You made your point! 110 00:06:23,668 --> 00:06:25,899 The whole town is looking for you. 111 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,868 Even that scary old man from the house with the broken windows. 112 00:06:29,941 --> 00:06:31,860 Bart broke my windows! 113 00:06:31,918 --> 00:06:33,805 It used to be a normal house! 114 00:06:34,782 --> 00:06:37,446 All right, listen up. We have a boy-comma-missing, 115 00:06:37,515 --> 00:06:39,917 and you maggots... you're gonna help find him. 116 00:06:39,975 --> 00:06:41,469 I thought we were ladies. 117 00:06:41,559 --> 00:06:43,821 - You're lady maggots. - Now see here, Sergeant. 118 00:06:43,910 --> 00:06:46,961 You haven't fed us. We're pretty close to riot mode. 119 00:06:47,105 --> 00:06:48,840 This is the boy. 120 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,102 Never seen him in my life. 121 00:06:53,806 --> 00:06:56,174 We all get tattoos we regret. 122 00:06:56,304 --> 00:06:58,157 I will find that boy, 123 00:06:58,215 --> 00:07:01,126 and I will toast you with his blood! 124 00:07:01,733 --> 00:07:03,778 What'd I tell you about blood toasts, Bob? 125 00:07:03,836 --> 00:07:05,899 To do them, but not brag about them. 126 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:12,594 Ask now what your country can do for you 127 00:07:12,852 --> 00:07:15,399 is what you can do for your country. 128 00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:17,766 Doesn't sound like any president I know. 129 00:07:26,423 --> 00:07:28,446 Freedom! 130 00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:31,345 Oh, I can smell Springfield! 131 00:07:38,059 --> 00:07:39,092 Uah. 132 00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:41,718 Nothing good ever comes from trying. 133 00:07:41,787 --> 00:07:42,889 Private Homer, 134 00:07:42,971 --> 00:07:44,605 you fat stack of mop buckets! 135 00:07:44,724 --> 00:07:46,893 You find something funny about this? 136 00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:50,102 How about I wipe that smile off your fat face? 137 00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:51,837 Not my Homie! 138 00:07:51,919 --> 00:07:53,608 Avert your eyes, ma'am. 139 00:07:55,038 --> 00:07:56,585 A phone?! Please. 140 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,610 Dial tone. Dial tone. 141 00:07:59,226 --> 00:08:01,328 Oh, thank God! 142 00:08:01,842 --> 00:08:04,015 I'm looking for a Miss Culls. 143 00:08:04,128 --> 00:08:06,265 First name Tess, middle initial "T." 144 00:08:06,323 --> 00:08:07,788 Uh, just a sec. I'll check. 145 00:08:07,870 --> 00:08:11,538 Uh, Tess T. Culls. Tess T. Culls! 146 00:08:11,727 --> 00:08:14,319 Uh, come on! I know you're hangin' around here somewhere. 147 00:08:15,968 --> 00:08:17,134 Why, you little... 148 00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,804 When I catch you, I'm gonna stick a beer tap in ya 149 00:08:19,862 --> 00:08:21,996 and pull till the foam comes out your ears! 150 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,203 Oh! Oh! 151 00:08:28,265 --> 00:08:29,554 Oh. I give up. 152 00:08:29,612 --> 00:08:32,156 If you find Bart, give me his lunch money. 153 00:08:32,315 --> 00:08:34,335 Well, I'm never giving up. 154 00:08:34,393 --> 00:08:35,663 Why not? 155 00:08:35,721 --> 00:08:38,035 Because searching forever is much easier 156 00:08:38,123 --> 00:08:40,371 than me finding a new friend. 157 00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:42,691 I could be your new friend. 158 00:08:42,841 --> 00:08:44,652 - What was that? - Nothing. 159 00:08:44,739 --> 00:08:46,474 Shut up! 160 00:08:47,168 --> 00:08:49,343 His lucky cap! 161 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:54,248 Bart? Bart? Are you down there? 162 00:08:54,315 --> 00:08:55,883 Milhouse! 163 00:08:55,950 --> 00:08:58,050 I have never been so glad to see you. 164 00:08:58,108 --> 00:09:00,711 Thanks for not noticing my new haircut. 165 00:09:00,842 --> 00:09:02,309 Just give me your phone. 166 00:09:04,596 --> 00:09:06,029 I'll go get help! 167 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,590 You can count on me! 168 00:09:11,976 --> 00:09:13,683 I lit these for our son. 169 00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:15,956 Marge, honey, he's never gonna come back 170 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,582 if he thinks it's a church. 171 00:09:17,835 --> 00:09:20,238 With 78% of the search area reporting, 172 00:09:20,376 --> 00:09:23,512 Channel Six is now projecting that Bart Simpson is dead. 173 00:09:23,649 --> 00:09:26,284 That's right. Self-proclaimed underachiever Bart Simpson, 174 00:09:26,406 --> 00:09:27,958 dead at the age of ten. 175 00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:31,646 Now let's look at the districts where he's deadest. 176 00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:39,341 Lisa, I have news about Bart. 177 00:09:39,421 --> 00:09:41,021 We already know. 178 00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:45,986 Oh, Milhouse, you were his best friend. 179 00:09:49,019 --> 00:09:50,452 What did you come here for? 180 00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:51,786 Um... 181 00:09:51,844 --> 00:09:53,679 I came to tell her he's alive, 182 00:09:53,876 --> 00:09:57,044 but this feels almost as good as hugging Harry Horse. 183 00:09:57,258 --> 00:10:00,669 I came to comfort you in these uncertain times. 184 00:10:00,962 --> 00:10:02,512 Aw. 185 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,566 It's over! 186 00:10:04,624 --> 00:10:06,075 We're callin' off the search! 187 00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:08,301 - Did they find him? - No, he's dead. 188 00:10:09,704 --> 00:10:11,216 No! That can't be. 189 00:10:11,274 --> 00:10:16,045 Lord, why do you kill things that I want to kill? 190 00:10:16,281 --> 00:10:19,717 Take me now, vile rake! 191 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:30,270 I think you should look at Bart's death this way, Bob. 192 00:10:30,352 --> 00:10:32,934 You're free. You're totally free. 193 00:10:33,395 --> 00:10:34,873 Oh, this slipped off. 194 00:10:34,964 --> 00:10:37,824 Have you ever thought of how your life could've gone 195 00:10:37,953 --> 00:10:40,645 had you committed to good instead of evil? 196 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,207 Evil isn't a choice. 197 00:10:42,265 --> 00:10:43,613 Mm. I see. 198 00:10:43,671 --> 00:10:46,059 Why don't we try a little psychological exercise, Bob? 199 00:10:46,301 --> 00:10:48,403 If I unshackle you, will you behave? 200 00:10:48,461 --> 00:10:49,695 Try me. 201 00:10:52,257 --> 00:10:53,699 Cut out Bart's picture. 202 00:10:53,772 --> 00:10:56,949 And by so doing, cut him out of your life. 203 00:10:57,772 --> 00:10:59,449 Don't listen to them, Bob. 204 00:10:59,607 --> 00:11:00,918 I'm alive. 205 00:11:01,058 --> 00:11:04,660 ♪♪ 206 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,269 Are you okay there, Bob? 207 00:11:10,422 --> 00:11:11,961 I won't believe he's dead 208 00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:14,996 until I've made soup from his bones! 209 00:11:16,984 --> 00:11:20,086 Why do I keep giving them scissors? 210 00:11:26,566 --> 00:11:28,021 Hello? 211 00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:30,011 Hey, Mom, it's me. Still married? 212 00:11:30,069 --> 00:11:31,363 Oh, my God, oh, my God! 213 00:11:31,421 --> 00:11:33,872 He's alive! And sassy! 214 00:11:39,289 --> 00:11:41,449 Um, one for the road? 215 00:11:42,239 --> 00:11:43,988 It's a long road. 216 00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:47,421 I'll see you soon. 217 00:11:50,037 --> 00:11:53,520 Hello, Bart...'s friend. 218 00:11:53,698 --> 00:11:55,152 Bart's alive! 219 00:11:55,354 --> 00:11:56,590 Lead me to Bart. 220 00:11:56,668 --> 00:11:58,231 You'll have to kill me first. 221 00:11:58,289 --> 00:12:01,574 But if you kill me, you'll never find Bart. 222 00:12:01,735 --> 00:12:03,121 Hmm. A conundrum. 223 00:12:03,219 --> 00:12:04,686 How to break you? 224 00:12:04,972 --> 00:12:08,973 Tell me, do you like light operetta? 225 00:12:09,142 --> 00:12:11,035 Oh, how light? 226 00:12:11,093 --> 00:12:12,270 And a-one and a-two. 227 00:12:12,352 --> 00:12:15,371 ♪ I have a song to sing, O ♪ 228 00:12:15,562 --> 00:12:18,799 ♪ Sing me your song, O ♪ 229 00:12:19,098 --> 00:12:21,481 ♪ 'Tis sung to the moon ♪ ♪ by a lovelorn loon ♪ 230 00:12:21,539 --> 00:12:24,059 ♪ Who fled ♪ ♪ from the mocking throng, O ♪ 231 00:12:24,159 --> 00:12:26,138 ♪ The song of the knell ♪ ♪ of a churchyard bell... ♪ 232 00:12:26,195 --> 00:12:27,442 I give! I give! 233 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,129 I'll take you to Bart! 234 00:12:29,187 --> 00:12:30,371 ♪ He cracked like an egg ♪ 235 00:12:30,429 --> 00:12:31,871 Please stop! 236 00:12:32,031 --> 00:12:33,660 ♪ And began to beg ♪ 237 00:12:33,894 --> 00:12:35,155 You promised. 238 00:12:35,295 --> 00:12:37,293 ♪ As I sang this song-o ♪ 239 00:12:37,351 --> 00:12:39,676 ♪ It's a song of a popinjay, ♪ ♪ bravely born ♪ 240 00:12:39,809 --> 00:12:42,238 ♪ Who turned up his noble nose ♪ ♪ with scorn... ♪ 241 00:12:42,356 --> 00:12:44,809 Can you at least stab me in my ear? 242 00:12:44,943 --> 00:12:46,207 No. 243 00:12:47,404 --> 00:12:49,543 Okay, we'll split up and find Bart. 244 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,613 Thanks for lending this to us, Ned. 245 00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:54,137 And I'll do the three things that help the most: 246 00:12:54,253 --> 00:12:56,277 pray, pray, pray. 247 00:12:57,831 --> 00:13:00,106 What about me?! 248 00:13:00,335 --> 00:13:02,160 I ain't ridin' in that! 249 00:13:02,218 --> 00:13:03,552 No, you're pulling it! 250 00:13:04,031 --> 00:13:06,506 Lousy, no good... 251 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,478 I couldn't pull you when you were eight! 252 00:13:09,536 --> 00:13:11,068 Mm-hmm. 253 00:13:11,202 --> 00:13:14,076 Hmm. Hmm. 254 00:13:14,623 --> 00:13:17,357 Hmm. Angry dad, wise-ass kid. 255 00:13:17,415 --> 00:13:19,857 Now, there's a formula that never fails. 256 00:13:20,036 --> 00:13:22,972 Okay, boys, we're gonna sing a nice little song. 257 00:13:23,251 --> 00:13:24,762 I want to play cowboys and Indians. 258 00:13:24,855 --> 00:13:26,446 Calvin, put down that tomahawk. 259 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,407 Calvin. Calvin. 260 00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:30,358 Calvin! 261 00:13:30,425 --> 00:13:32,207 You look funny, Dave. 262 00:13:32,329 --> 00:13:33,864 Dave? Dave?! 263 00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:36,737 ♪ God bless America ♪ 264 00:13:36,795 --> 00:13:39,451 ♪ Give me back my tomahawk... ♪ 265 00:13:40,344 --> 00:13:42,717 That's where he is. But if you jump down, 266 00:13:42,837 --> 00:13:44,605 you can't get back up and you'll be caught. 267 00:13:44,672 --> 00:13:47,412 So, uh, I guess that's checkmate. 268 00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:48,771 We're not playing chess. 269 00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,964 We're playing a game called After You. 270 00:13:51,112 --> 00:13:52,428 After me? 271 00:13:52,486 --> 00:13:53,745 If you insist. 272 00:13:58,662 --> 00:14:02,014 Oh, God. I am so sick of these. 273 00:14:04,686 --> 00:14:08,248 Aah! Twelfth time's the charm! 274 00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:09,745 Sideshow Bob?! 275 00:14:09,803 --> 00:14:12,631 That's right. I found your hidey-hole! 276 00:14:12,793 --> 00:14:14,647 You found my heinie hole? 277 00:14:16,045 --> 00:14:17,264 Ah, yes. 278 00:14:17,365 --> 00:14:19,237 Always the back-of-the-class wit. 279 00:14:19,295 --> 00:14:22,467 Well, today you're going to be a real blast. 280 00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:26,185 I don't like the way he really hit the word "blast." 281 00:14:32,007 --> 00:14:34,509 Uh, Bob, it takes two keys. 282 00:14:34,568 --> 00:14:37,506 That way, no nutcase can do it by himself. 283 00:14:37,631 --> 00:14:39,482 Well, no one ever said launching two boys 284 00:14:39,553 --> 00:14:41,471 on a 50-year-old missile would be easy. 285 00:14:41,599 --> 00:14:45,529 Wow! For a 50-year-old missile, it's in terrific shape! 286 00:14:45,670 --> 00:14:46,776 Shut up! 287 00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:50,147 I'm a kid who appreciates things that last. 288 00:14:53,084 --> 00:14:56,028 Come on, boy. Get a good whiff of his scent. 289 00:14:59,924 --> 00:15:01,981 ♪♪ Sideshow Bob Theme Playing... 290 00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:05,965 ♪♪ 291 00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:12,860 Did you find anything? 292 00:15:12,918 --> 00:15:15,114 Uh, we found Bart's sock drawer. 293 00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:17,074 Get back out here! 294 00:15:17,277 --> 00:15:19,957 Well, you can't shoot her. You know that's a woman. 295 00:15:20,051 --> 00:15:22,379 Oh, this is the last time I hunt with my lawyer. 296 00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:24,399 Son, I can't go no further. 297 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,387 I want to just lie down and die. 298 00:15:26,481 --> 00:15:27,903 Dad, you can't die here. 299 00:15:27,981 --> 00:15:29,383 You have to die in a nursing home, 300 00:15:29,441 --> 00:15:31,860 where your body falls apart as you burn through your savings 301 00:15:31,918 --> 00:15:33,360 till you're a worthless vegetable. 302 00:15:33,418 --> 00:15:34,977 You know, with dignity. 303 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,285 You're right, son. We're here on a mission. 304 00:15:37,402 --> 00:15:39,535 Now, let's pick out that Christmas tree. 305 00:15:39,645 --> 00:15:41,324 We're here to find Bart. 306 00:15:41,465 --> 00:15:44,614 Right, right. But we got a nice eight-footer over here. 307 00:15:44,723 --> 00:15:47,715 She's got a bare patch, but we'll turn that to the wall. 308 00:15:47,778 --> 00:15:50,184 That's it. I'm not listening to another word. 309 00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:53,110 Help! Help! Help! 310 00:15:54,114 --> 00:15:56,793 For this, you can thank my time 311 00:15:56,926 --> 00:15:59,168 at Cirque du Soleil. 312 00:15:59,317 --> 00:16:00,887 More like Cirque du So Lame. 313 00:16:00,973 --> 00:16:03,020 Yes, they are pretty much all the same. 314 00:16:03,192 --> 00:16:07,051 Just a little further... 315 00:16:07,168 --> 00:16:09,126 Oh, wait, wrong key. 316 00:16:12,537 --> 00:16:14,817 Five minutes to launch. 317 00:16:15,566 --> 00:16:18,661 ♪♪ 318 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:23,692 Bob, why are you doing this? 319 00:16:23,762 --> 00:16:25,609 Well, it's perfectly obvious. 320 00:16:25,997 --> 00:16:27,376 Uh, it's... 321 00:16:27,434 --> 00:16:28,701 Give me a moment. 322 00:16:28,825 --> 00:16:30,329 It's an ICBM. 323 00:16:30,387 --> 00:16:32,434 I Commit Bart's Murder! 324 00:16:32,497 --> 00:16:34,981 That's your justification for killing two kids? 325 00:16:35,184 --> 00:16:36,645 I... Hmm? 326 00:16:36,786 --> 00:16:40,270 Dad, look! It's either Sideshow Bob or Shaq. 327 00:16:40,372 --> 00:16:42,379 Not me. I'm going that way. 328 00:16:42,465 --> 00:16:43,973 Boy, am I lost. 329 00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:45,587 Shaq, can you help us? 330 00:16:45,645 --> 00:16:46,829 I'm not Superman. 331 00:16:46,887 --> 00:16:48,848 You have a Superman tattoo on your arm. 332 00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:50,442 How do you know so much about me? 333 00:16:50,567 --> 00:16:52,637 You're scaring me. I don't have any money. 334 00:16:57,207 --> 00:17:00,145 Have you ever thought of how your life could've gone 335 00:17:00,262 --> 00:17:01,611 had you committed to good? 336 00:17:01,678 --> 00:17:03,411 It is true. I had talent. 337 00:17:03,637 --> 00:17:06,392 I was on Zoom. Just send it to Zoom! 338 00:17:06,450 --> 00:17:07,918 Box 350, Boston, Mass. 339 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,254 ♪ 02134 ♪ 340 00:17:10,465 --> 00:17:12,872 You don't want to do this. You're losing it, Bob. 341 00:17:12,989 --> 00:17:15,536 I don't know what's real and what's hallucination. 342 00:17:15,658 --> 00:17:18,325 ♪♪ 343 00:17:25,136 --> 00:17:27,071 Hello? 344 00:17:27,138 --> 00:17:28,613 Hello, Doctor. Bob Terwilliger. 345 00:17:28,801 --> 00:17:29,984 Did I catch you at a bad time? 346 00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:32,317 Oh, Bob, how thoughtful of you to call. 347 00:17:32,402 --> 00:17:35,387 Most prisoners rarely follow up after leaving me to die. 348 00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:38,049 I just need to know, 349 00:17:38,116 --> 00:17:39,717 should I kill these children? 350 00:17:39,784 --> 00:17:42,207 Sounds like someone's got a case of the shoulds. 351 00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:43,418 If you're calling to ask, 352 00:17:43,476 --> 00:17:45,262 it means you already know the answer. 353 00:17:45,389 --> 00:17:46,915 T minus two minutes. 354 00:17:46,973 --> 00:17:48,368 Clear blast area. 355 00:17:48,426 --> 00:17:50,106 Just tell me, please! 356 00:17:50,238 --> 00:17:51,876 He's not allowed to talk. 357 00:17:51,934 --> 00:17:55,223 ♪♪ 358 00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:06,009 Hmm, that sounds like the ignition sequence 359 00:18:06,076 --> 00:18:09,785 of an LGM-25C Titan II-II ballistic missile. 360 00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:12,309 I've had just about enough of your nonsense! 361 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,619 All right, I owe you one. 362 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,656 So, why'd you save us? 363 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:22,460 Because I realized I don't want to kill you anymore. 364 00:18:23,248 --> 00:18:25,177 Milhouse, is there a knife in my back? 365 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,177 Not that I can see. 366 00:18:27,532 --> 00:18:30,404 Milhouse, is there a "kick me" sign on my back? 367 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,334 Not that I can see. 368 00:18:32,498 --> 00:18:34,071 Aw! 369 00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:36,537 I just can't get a clean shot. 370 00:18:36,595 --> 00:18:38,904 Also, you don't have a gun. 371 00:18:38,982 --> 00:18:40,844 I'm useless, all right. 372 00:18:42,607 --> 00:18:44,781 What a brilliant conceptual piece. 373 00:18:44,848 --> 00:18:45,924 Who's it by? 374 00:18:45,982 --> 00:18:47,756 "Norad." 375 00:18:47,888 --> 00:18:49,615 More like Snore-ad. 376 00:18:50,935 --> 00:18:52,189 Wait, is it ticking? 377 00:18:52,311 --> 00:18:56,671 ♪♪ 378 00:18:56,859 --> 00:18:58,320 Sooner or later, 379 00:18:58,494 --> 00:19:00,843 it all comes down to mopping. 380 00:19:07,671 --> 00:19:10,059 Doctor, I'm happy. 381 00:19:10,117 --> 00:19:11,184 And when I'm released, 382 00:19:11,242 --> 00:19:13,012 after three consecutive life sentences, 383 00:19:13,079 --> 00:19:15,181 I think I'll open a flower shop. 384 00:19:15,328 --> 00:19:17,117 Oh, that's great, Bob. 385 00:19:17,184 --> 00:19:19,185 Not all my patients are this successful. 386 00:19:19,252 --> 00:19:20,487 Well, 387 00:19:20,554 --> 00:19:22,359 I won't be needing his file anymore. 388 00:19:22,421 --> 00:19:24,902 And if you're interested, tomorrow's 9:00 appointment 389 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,429 just opened up. 390 00:19:26,629 --> 00:19:28,148 And a 10:00. 391 00:19:41,797 --> 00:19:43,648 Your New York Magazine, sir. 392 00:19:43,706 --> 00:19:46,023 This is The New Yorker. Totally different. 393 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:48,281 One is the gossip rag of the glitterati. 394 00:19:48,339 --> 00:19:51,354 The other, an asthmatic dinosaur that hasn't been relevant 395 00:19:51,412 --> 00:19:53,539 since William Shawn breathed his last! 396 00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:56,220 Can I go now? I've got 15 other lighthouses, 397 00:19:56,283 --> 00:19:57,882 and every one's a weirdo. 398 00:19:57,940 --> 00:19:59,187 Not that you are. 399 00:19:59,245 --> 00:20:01,320 Fine. Leave me. I'll just polish the bulb 400 00:20:01,378 --> 00:20:04,664 and ponder a wasted life as I walk along the shore. 401 00:20:05,964 --> 00:20:08,376 I rewrite it every time the tide goes out. 402 00:20:08,626 --> 00:20:10,161 Listen to me! 403 00:20:10,245 --> 00:20:11,546 Life is short. 404 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:14,364 Don't spend it on foolish, empty revenge! 405 00:20:14,596 --> 00:20:17,565 If you buy a mailbox, I wouldn't have to talk to you anymore. 406 00:20:17,725 --> 00:20:19,040 Fine. 407 00:20:19,276 --> 00:20:21,970 ♪♪ Subs Text Source : Addic7ed.com 408 00:20:22,206 --> 00:20:25,806 ♪♪ 409 00:20:34,415 --> 00:20:37,993 ♪♪ 28333

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