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*THE SIMPSONS*
Season 29 Episode 10
Title: "Haw-Haw Land"
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Whoa
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♪♪ Intro to "Another day of Sun"
Tune from La La Land...
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♪ Another Springfield day ♪
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♪ A truly perfect place to see ♪
♪ your dreams just fade away ♪
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♪ Working at the plant's fried ♪
♪ everything inside my pants ♪
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♪ Good-bye to all romance ♪
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♪ All I've got to show ♪
♪ for 20 years or so is you ♪
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- Carl!
- Prescription pain pills!
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♪ I have a law degree ♪
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♪ For years I've smelled ♪
♪ just like cat pee ♪
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♪ This town
just drags you down ♪
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♪ She's completely
lost her head ♪
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♪ And we will eat her
when she's dead ♪
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♪ It really shouldn't be
too long ♪
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- ♪ Cats! Cats! Cats! ♪
- ♪ She'll be our dinner ♪
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♪ This truly is an awful town ♪
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♪ The water's green,
the sky is brown ♪
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♪ Pope Francis came,
he turned around ♪
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♪ Our strongest bridge ♪
♪ just holds ten pounds ♪
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♪ We're poisoned
by a greedy clown ♪
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♪ Kang-a-roo meat! ♪
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♪ Traffic suffers from
paralysis ♪
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♪♪
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Please.
I'm late for my dialysis.
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♪♪
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♪ It's another Springfield day ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
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♪ I'm too sad to say olé ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
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♪ We've lost our coolest gays ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
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Duffman thinks this town's okay!
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
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♪ It's another Springfield day! ♪
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♪♪
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Lenny's a survivor!
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♪ This will be a perfect day ♪
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♪ No way to go outside and play ♪
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♪ And so we're on our way ♪
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♪ To a very nerdy
science conference ♪
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♪ Ba-ba ba-ba-dum ba-dum,
ba-ba ♪
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♪ Bum-bum, ba-ba-dum, ba-da, ba-ba ♪
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Take it Bart!
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If you're givin' it,
I don't want it.
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Bring it home, boy.
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♪ My sister sucks! ♪
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Nyah, nyah.
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♪ It's another perfect day! ♪
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I brought my stems.
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Sir, this is a conference
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of Science, Technology,
Engineering and Math.
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What about this one?
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Dialogue on Pediatric Education.
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I find this claim highly doyvik.
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It's all true according
to the highly-prestigious
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Institute for Purchased Science.
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Here's our top scientist now.
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Sir, I-I don't think
this is fooling anyone.
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Quiet! And put on the monocle,
Professor Noodle-Strudel.
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- So where's your booth?
- I don't have one.
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- I just came here for fun.
- Fun?!
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One child, please.
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I was here first.
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If disco's dead,
I don't want to live.
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It's Stuicide!
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Self-unrolling yoga mats.
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Artificial intelligence
that writes TV recaps.
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Stranger Things suffers
from season two fatigue.
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And look! IMAX Al Gore!
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If every family could just
reduce their carbon footprint
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by ten percent...
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Oh, it's hopeless.
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The floods are comin', people!
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This is my Woodstock!
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You okay, honey?
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It's fine. It's fine.
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I'm just intellectually drunk.
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Mm. I guess that's okay.
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Marge, Marge, Marge,
you lighten up.
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It's science.
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Maybe you should sit down.
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I ain't sittin'.
I'm ready to fly!
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Hmm.
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Hey, kid,
I want to show you something.
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Are you a pervert?
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No. A chemical engineer.
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No!
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I used to be like you.
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You mean incredibly bored?
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Oh, let's see
if you think this is boring.
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I drop a little water
on powdered sodium...
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Huh?!
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Wow!
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Listen, I don't know
what you're teaching,
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but you and I have
great chemistry.
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Except for the lab coat.
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It makes you look kind of heavy.
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I actually am kind of heavy,
and it makes me look thinner!
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I don't know what could make
this day more perfect.
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♪♪ Jazz plays on piano...
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You didn't applaud.
Nothing.
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Here, I'll show ya how it goes.
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Thank you.
No selfies.
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In a lesser musician,
that boy's attitude
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would be needy
masquerading as arrogance.
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I'm leaving if he can't sing.
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♪ I've had my share of crazy flings ♪
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♪ But they all end up leavin' ♪
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♪ And leavin', ♪
♪ well, it really stings... ♪
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Oh, God. He's one small step away
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from destroying all my logic and reason.
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♪♪
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Ah. Ah. Ah.
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Hey, Lisa.
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I brought you three waters:
cold, lukewarm and warm.
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- That's nice. Any sparkling?
- Damn it!
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Hi! I'm Lisa Simpson
and I'm nervous
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about saying anything that will
ruin this perfect moment.
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My name's Brendan.
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Oh, good, good.
No last names.
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Don't want things moving too fast.
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Oh! I hope our children get his hair.
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Now to subtly find out
how old he is.
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How old are you?
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Well, I'm 11, but I'm insouciant
at a 12th grade level,
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and I'm talented, too.
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So unfair, right?
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That's amazing, because
the boys I know are re...
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I've got sparkling!
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Sorry, I'm not thirsty anymore.
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Damn it!
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Um, so
w-where do you go to school?
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I just moved here.
I'm starting next week
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at a school called
Springfield Elementary.
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I see it got a few
dreadful reviews on Yelp.
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This guy called "Gary Chalmers"
gave it half a star.
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Bloody hell!
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Of all the K through sixes
in this world,
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you had to walk into mine.
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A beautiful hotel bar!
Just like in The Shining!
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Oh, hi, lee... tle girl.
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If you see your ma...
uh, ma wife,
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tell her Homer... not your dad...
wants the credit card.
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I will... sir.
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- Sir? I'm your dad.
- D'oh!
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Today, we are performing
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an experiment that
we humorously call
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"making elephant toothpaste."
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Boy, the Germans sure
know their humor.
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00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:23,836
Let's just hope they know
something about chemistry.
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First, add a tablespoon of
dish soap to hydrogen peroxide,
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then add the warm water
and the yeast!
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Aah! German chemistry!
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♪♪ Saxophone and piano
play lively, upbeat Jazz...
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Sounds great, Lisa.
Really great.
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You're just a little behind the beat.
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Uh, maybe you're a little ahead?
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00:06:56,423 --> 00:06:58,836
Aw, you're so cute
when you're wrong.
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- Channel that rage!
- No!
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Make that reed pay for my sins!
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♪♪ Playing lively Jazz...
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Yeah!
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♪♪
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Knock off that racket!
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It's not a racket!
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00:07:12,178 --> 00:07:14,696
It's the truest American art form!
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Banging on the walls is
the truest American art form,
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and I'm a Picasso!
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Oh, no! They're playing in time
to the beat of my banging!
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Well, then stop banging.
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I can't. The rhythm is infectious.
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♪♪ Banging rhythmically to music...
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Here's the school trophy case.
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00:07:41,384 --> 00:07:43,430
If you look closely,
it's empty.
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They're actually decals on the glass.
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Oh, hello, Lisa.
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00:07:50,569 --> 00:07:51,977
I see you have a new friend.
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Brendan, this is Nelson.
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Lisa, you sure know
a lot of weird guys.
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00:07:56,447 --> 00:07:58,125
Hello, Brenda.
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00:07:58,193 --> 00:08:00,524
Excuse me.
Why is being a girl an insult?
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00:08:00,592 --> 00:08:02,649
Ah! So evolved!
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00:08:02,814 --> 00:08:05,617
Lisa, are you squishy
for this ding-dong?
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00:08:05,782 --> 00:08:08,386
Lisa, does that fat kid like you?
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00:08:10,304 --> 00:08:12,883
Whatever we had,
it's in the past.
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I think there's something
in the water in this town.
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Oh, man.
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♪ On a playground I tripped ♪
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♪ Then I saw you and flipped ♪
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00:08:34,193 --> 00:08:36,930
He used "flipped"
with a double meaning!
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Bastard!
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00:08:37,983 --> 00:08:39,710
♪ Now I'm skippin' ♪
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00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:42,561
♪ And trippin' for you. ♪
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He turned his suffering
into entertainment,
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00:08:45,473 --> 00:08:47,007
just like the Jewish people!
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00:08:47,169 --> 00:08:49,421
Nothing can ruin this moment.
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00:08:49,556 --> 00:08:51,447
Make way. Dead gophers.
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00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:52,827
Nothing!
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00:08:56,393 --> 00:08:58,002
How can you be sleeping?!
203
00:09:01,385 --> 00:09:02,864
Oh, thank God.
204
00:09:02,941 --> 00:09:07,127
Meanwhile, Bart's teacher says
he has a flair for chemistry.
205
00:09:07,224 --> 00:09:08,606
Why that little...
206
00:09:08,768 --> 00:09:11,104
Wait. Flair?
Isn't that a good thing?
207
00:09:11,243 --> 00:09:12,992
Yes. It's too good.
208
00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:21,487
Why don't you ask him
what he's up to?
209
00:09:21,657 --> 00:09:25,183
Because if he lies to me,
it's like a dagger in my heart.
210
00:09:25,339 --> 00:09:28,590
What happens when...
I mean if... I ever lie to you?
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00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:30,859
Can you find out
what he's really up to?
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00:09:30,936 --> 00:09:33,135
- I will.
- See? That's a lie right there.
213
00:09:33,213 --> 00:09:35,432
D'oh!
Okay, I really will.
214
00:09:35,510 --> 00:09:37,245
- That's also a lie.
- D'oh!
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00:09:37,313 --> 00:09:39,924
Fine. I really, really,
really will.
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00:09:40,042 --> 00:09:41,690
Finally, the truth.
217
00:09:43,799 --> 00:09:45,382
Keeping... promise.
218
00:09:47,266 --> 00:09:48,549
Stupid tree house.
219
00:09:49,229 --> 00:09:50,924
So far off the ground.
220
00:09:51,995 --> 00:09:54,784
Uh, Dad, you haven't even
started to climb yet.
221
00:09:54,852 --> 00:09:56,944
I have to visualize it first.
222
00:10:00,198 --> 00:10:01,398
Thanks, guys.
223
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:02,791
Ah, no problem.
224
00:10:02,859 --> 00:10:04,299
Why did we do that, Chief?
225
00:10:04,383 --> 00:10:06,018
Fat man courtesy, Lou.
226
00:10:06,086 --> 00:10:07,744
Fat man courtesy.
227
00:10:08,260 --> 00:10:10,237
Son, how do I put this?
228
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:12,917
Are you breaking bad up
here?
229
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,369
No, I'm not.
230
00:10:14,446 --> 00:10:16,760
And if you're looking for meth,
go see Cletus.
231
00:10:16,901 --> 00:10:18,206
What?!
232
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:24,159
Meth Life, proud sponsor
of the 2020 Opioid Olympics!
233
00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:28,377
Ooh, that's street ready!
234
00:10:28,593 --> 00:10:31,143
Dad, I'm just trying
to follow in your footsteps.
235
00:10:31,229 --> 00:10:33,768
You work in science,
and I think that's really cool.
236
00:10:33,836 --> 00:10:36,807
Wow, you've never
said that to me before.
237
00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:38,493
Do you want to go to work
with me today?
238
00:10:38,612 --> 00:10:40,294
You can help me
research my theory
239
00:10:40,362 --> 00:10:42,292
that the chairs can go flat.
240
00:10:42,393 --> 00:10:45,862
I'd like to, but I've got to do
some colloidal titration.
241
00:10:48,026 --> 00:10:50,278
Marge, it's worse than we thought.
242
00:10:50,346 --> 00:10:51,708
He's speaking in tongues.
243
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,260
He's a religious weirdo.
244
00:10:53,338 --> 00:10:54,698
The worst thing there is.
245
00:10:54,823 --> 00:10:56,044
Cover your eyes, boys...
246
00:10:56,121 --> 00:10:59,745
I'm about to flip Mr. Simpson
the "Flanders finger."
247
00:11:00,354 --> 00:11:01,516
You mean...
248
00:11:01,593 --> 00:11:04,929
Yup... a thumbs-up
without a friendly wink.
249
00:11:07,729 --> 00:11:09,565
♪♪
250
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:11,013
You have a credit card?
251
00:11:11,081 --> 00:11:12,190
Yeah, but no money.
252
00:11:12,282 --> 00:11:14,987
Oh, a true Jazz musician.
253
00:11:23,090 --> 00:11:25,558
♪♪
254
00:11:35,066 --> 00:11:37,534
Just give the ice cream back.
255
00:11:37,602 --> 00:11:40,292
No way. It was really hard to scoop.
256
00:11:43,588 --> 00:11:45,569
Prepare to have your ears belted.
257
00:11:48,378 --> 00:11:51,612
♪ My funny valentine ♪
258
00:11:51,853 --> 00:11:54,831
♪ Sweet, comic valentine ♪
259
00:11:54,899 --> 00:11:55,995
Nelson?
260
00:11:56,229 --> 00:11:58,745
♪ You make me smile ♪
261
00:11:58,893 --> 00:12:01,719
♪ With my heart ♪
262
00:12:03,728 --> 00:12:05,787
Stop!
Why are you doing this?
263
00:12:05,857 --> 00:12:08,635
I don't know. There's no
good word for what I feel.
264
00:12:08,776 --> 00:12:11,502
Scared and excited
at the same time.
265
00:12:11,570 --> 00:12:13,538
There is a word: vulnerable.
266
00:12:13,741 --> 00:12:15,948
"Vulner-able"?
267
00:12:17,814 --> 00:12:19,817
Yup. I always liked you,
268
00:12:19,885 --> 00:12:22,473
but now I'm seeing you
in a new light.
269
00:12:26,948 --> 00:12:29,480
♪ Your looks are laughable ♪
270
00:12:29,557 --> 00:12:30,905
Haw-haw!
271
00:12:30,982 --> 00:12:33,409
♪ Unphotographable ♪
272
00:12:33,565 --> 00:12:37,034
♪ But you're my favorite ♪
273
00:12:37,112 --> 00:12:39,231
♪ Work of art ♪
274
00:12:39,299 --> 00:12:40,309
♪ Art ♪
275
00:12:40,377 --> 00:12:42,237
♪ Art ♪
♪ Art. ♪
276
00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:43,674
Nailed it.
277
00:12:47,928 --> 00:12:50,922
And so now
there's a jazz war over me.
278
00:12:50,990 --> 00:12:53,600
It's pretty bad.
But it's pretty great.
279
00:12:53,670 --> 00:12:57,375
Uh-huh. Scotland once had two
queens fightin' over her.
280
00:12:57,645 --> 00:12:59,232
Loser got Scotland.
281
00:12:59,303 --> 00:13:01,149
Of course, Brendan
is the superior artist.
282
00:13:01,217 --> 00:13:02,623
But that kind of intimidates me.
283
00:13:02,691 --> 00:13:04,420
And Nelson's rough,
but he's sweet.
284
00:13:04,488 --> 00:13:05,913
Plus he thinks I have dimples.
285
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:08,134
Dimples?
It's that serious?
286
00:13:08,282 --> 00:13:10,717
- Aye.
- Let me give ye advice on love.
287
00:13:10,785 --> 00:13:13,748
The Scottish national flower
is the thistle.
288
00:13:13,816 --> 00:13:15,930
A humble weed. Legend has it
289
00:13:15,998 --> 00:13:17,557
that the Norse King Haakon
290
00:13:17,634 --> 00:13:19,883
staged a surprise invasion.
291
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,053
But his barefooted army
stepped on thistles,
292
00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:26,451
and their screams
awakened the sleepy Scots.
293
00:13:28,554 --> 00:13:32,102
Many a Norwegian lass
lamented their dead lover
294
00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:34,298
- on that glorious day.
- Willie,
295
00:13:34,375 --> 00:13:37,134
someone spiked the teachers'
vodka with sulfuric acid.
296
00:13:37,211 --> 00:13:39,512
Superintendent Chalmers
lost the tip of his tongue.
297
00:13:39,589 --> 00:13:41,080
Kin-ner!
298
00:13:43,498 --> 00:13:45,289
Lisa, this is a song about you.
299
00:13:45,452 --> 00:13:47,100
A kid who's almost there.
300
00:13:47,714 --> 00:13:49,646
And when you get there,
you'll blow the roof off.
301
00:13:49,714 --> 00:13:50,763
Oh.
302
00:13:50,925 --> 00:13:54,451
♪♪
303
00:13:56,230 --> 00:13:59,198
Yeah, well,
I brought my washboard.
304
00:14:02,536 --> 00:14:05,159
Nelson. You took our washboard.
305
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:08,472
I got thongs to scrub.
306
00:14:09,875 --> 00:14:11,076
I really can't believe
307
00:14:11,144 --> 00:14:12,183
that this is a choice.
308
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:13,408
I mean, look at me.
309
00:14:13,556 --> 00:14:14,722
And look at him.
310
00:14:14,797 --> 00:14:16,798
And then look back at me.
311
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:20,261
Hmm, they're quiet.
312
00:14:20,363 --> 00:14:21,691
Too quiet.
313
00:14:24,058 --> 00:14:25,158
Now they're loud.
314
00:14:25,235 --> 00:14:26,416
Too loud.
315
00:14:28,261 --> 00:14:29,706
Now they're just right.
316
00:14:29,774 --> 00:14:31,355
Too just right.
317
00:14:31,498 --> 00:14:33,600
Are you sure
Bart's not planning anything?
318
00:14:33,677 --> 00:14:35,792
A boy takes his cues from his mother.
319
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:38,527
If I trust him,
then he'll be good.
320
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:40,473
Hey, don't knock
my mother's method...
321
00:14:40,550 --> 00:14:42,609
complete abandonment
from age five.
322
00:14:45,542 --> 00:14:46,670
Hmm.
323
00:14:46,738 --> 00:14:48,505
The school talent show.
324
00:14:48,582 --> 00:14:50,974
And on the back, chemical equations.
325
00:14:51,113 --> 00:14:52,585
Still think he's innocent?
326
00:14:52,662 --> 00:14:55,292
We'll just have to go there
and see.
327
00:14:57,706 --> 00:15:00,191
You wanted rock candy,
you got rock candy.
328
00:15:00,603 --> 00:15:01,824
Mmm.
329
00:15:02,191 --> 00:15:04,097
Brendan and Nelson are fighting.
330
00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:07,058
I'm getting Daddy's gun
to under-arrest them.
331
00:15:07,722 --> 00:15:08,725
Oh, no.
332
00:15:08,802 --> 00:15:11,131
I'm gonna call you decrescendo,
333
00:15:11,199 --> 00:15:13,030
'cause you're goin' down.
334
00:15:13,107 --> 00:15:14,808
Nelson, that's clever.
335
00:15:14,917 --> 00:15:17,378
Thanks. For you,
I read a book.
336
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,738
All right, Ralphie, easy, easy.
337
00:15:20,835 --> 00:15:22,792
Give Daddy back his hat.
338
00:15:24,318 --> 00:15:27,687
Oh, you missed everything,
just like Daddy.
339
00:15:29,809 --> 00:15:32,058
♪♪ Saxophone playing...
340
00:15:32,175 --> 00:15:34,117
Ugh, so many clams.
341
00:15:34,269 --> 00:15:37,921
Well, you're gonna look
very nice for the show tonight.
342
00:15:37,998 --> 00:15:40,333
It doesn't matter how I look,
I'm not ready.
343
00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:42,869
I've been so distracted
by those boys.
344
00:15:42,946 --> 00:15:44,402
How did you choose Dad?
345
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:46,183
And never regret it?
346
00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,357
Marge, I might've swallowed
347
00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:50,009
a couple of your earrings.
348
00:15:52,003 --> 00:15:53,488
Gotta go.
349
00:15:56,402 --> 00:15:59,722
I do not want to know
how you got these back.
350
00:16:00,049 --> 00:16:01,562
So, we're really doing it.
351
00:16:01,631 --> 00:16:03,580
We're going to a talent show
352
00:16:03,706 --> 00:16:07,144
where Bart is putting on
a chemistry demonstration.
353
00:16:07,277 --> 00:16:08,503
Have I got that right?
354
00:16:08,597 --> 00:16:10,816
If our faces get melted off today,
355
00:16:10,902 --> 00:16:12,865
I want the last thing
Bart sees
356
00:16:12,942 --> 00:16:15,152
to be us believing in him.
357
00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:18,017
Fine, fine.
Let me just finish my will.
358
00:16:22,117 --> 00:16:23,644
And...
359
00:16:23,712 --> 00:16:25,913
Oh, it's good
to have that taken care of.
360
00:16:28,382 --> 00:16:31,948
♪ Haw-haw-haw,
haw-haw-haw, haw. ♪
361
00:16:32,027 --> 00:16:33,513
Nelson? A word?
362
00:16:33,581 --> 00:16:34,478
Take five, Martin.
363
00:16:34,555 --> 00:16:36,189
I'm not even in your act.
364
00:16:36,266 --> 00:16:37,656
I said take five.
365
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:39,995
Ooh!
366
00:16:40,149 --> 00:16:42,972
Nelson, I cherish
our unhealthy relationship.
367
00:16:43,042 --> 00:16:45,698
Especially the fact
that I can tell you the truth.
368
00:16:45,816 --> 00:16:47,503
Kiddo, you're not a singer.
369
00:16:47,576 --> 00:16:49,959
Okay, fine, I won't sing.
370
00:16:50,027 --> 00:16:51,194
But I'll still perform.
371
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:54,362
That's how much I want
to hold your stupid hand.
372
00:16:54,439 --> 00:16:55,588
Oh.
373
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,914
You're up, Nelson.
374
00:17:00,956 --> 00:17:01,905
Hello.
375
00:17:01,982 --> 00:17:03,792
I'm the school bully.
376
00:17:05,853 --> 00:17:07,089
Aw, don't be a dingus.
377
00:17:07,157 --> 00:17:09,027
I'm the next Charlie Mingus.
378
00:17:10,266 --> 00:17:12,123
Could I really choose him?
379
00:17:12,191 --> 00:17:14,627
♪♪
380
00:17:28,588 --> 00:17:30,676
My choice is clear: Brendan.
381
00:17:30,753 --> 00:17:32,235
♪♪
382
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:34,247
Ooh, yeah, I feel the groove.
383
00:17:37,135 --> 00:17:40,425
Next contestant, Brendan Beiderbecke.
384
00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:44,381
And Brendan wins!
385
00:17:44,458 --> 00:17:45,825
Not so fast.
386
00:17:45,902 --> 00:17:47,792
We have a disqualification.
387
00:17:47,906 --> 00:17:50,866
This young man does not
live in the district.
388
00:17:50,998 --> 00:17:53,740
Right, his home is 50 feet
into West Springfield,
389
00:17:53,808 --> 00:17:56,005
which means he will be
transferred to a school
390
00:17:56,073 --> 00:17:59,138
three buses and a long bike ride
away from here.
391
00:17:59,214 --> 00:18:01,112
- Brendan...
- No, Lisa.
392
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,409
I can't put you through that.
393
00:18:02,510 --> 00:18:04,317
I guess this relationship is over
394
00:18:04,394 --> 00:18:07,784
until this town invests
in mass transit.
395
00:18:11,370 --> 00:18:14,800
I'll never see him again.
396
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,114
Lisa, I'm glad you didn't choose me.
397
00:18:17,191 --> 00:18:19,216
No woman is worth learning music.
398
00:18:19,293 --> 00:18:21,300
All this time
I've been choosing jazz
399
00:18:21,386 --> 00:18:22,753
over doing my reps.
400
00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:25,097
Well, my reps never let me down.
401
00:18:25,174 --> 00:18:27,133
Lift weights, get dates.
402
00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:29,284
Lift weights, get dates.
403
00:18:29,417 --> 00:18:31,971
Well, I guess I'm alone for the moment.
404
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:33,737
And I like it.
405
00:18:33,848 --> 00:18:35,623
- Good for Lisa.
- She's better off alone.
406
00:18:35,691 --> 00:18:37,067
She doesn't need a man.
407
00:18:37,144 --> 00:18:39,123
Wait a minute, everybody.
Even though
408
00:18:39,191 --> 00:18:41,388
the most interesting and
emotionally compelling part
409
00:18:41,456 --> 00:18:43,224
is over, we still have one performer
410
00:18:43,292 --> 00:18:45,675
who says he will "blow you away."
411
00:18:45,752 --> 00:18:49,355
So please welcome the original
Dennis the Chemist,
412
00:18:49,433 --> 00:18:50,756
Bart Simpson.
413
00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:53,237
♪♪
414
00:18:57,331 --> 00:19:00,081
Drop the beaker, Screwy Pasteur.
415
00:19:01,464 --> 00:19:03,994
No. I wasn't doing anything bad.
416
00:19:04,071 --> 00:19:05,605
Pour the beaker and you'll see.
417
00:19:05,682 --> 00:19:08,431
We are not gonna let you
mix those chemicals.
418
00:19:08,508 --> 00:19:10,542
We got a tip from
an anonymous source
419
00:19:10,636 --> 00:19:12,302
named Seymour Skinner.
420
00:19:12,409 --> 00:19:14,847
Do you even know what "anonymous" means?
421
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:16,540
Uh, helpful?
422
00:19:17,794 --> 00:19:19,176
Mom, I'm innocent.
423
00:19:19,253 --> 00:19:20,811
You believe me, don't you?
424
00:19:20,888 --> 00:19:23,313
Oh, if he's lying,
I'll never forgive him.
425
00:19:23,390 --> 00:19:26,336
If he's telling the truth,
he'll never forgive me.
426
00:19:26,984 --> 00:19:28,636
Glad I'm not you.
427
00:19:29,396 --> 00:19:32,730
Bart, sweetie,
I'll pour the beaker for you.
428
00:19:38,238 --> 00:19:40,239
♪
429
00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:48,347
Ooh!
430
00:19:48,424 --> 00:19:50,416
Ah!
431
00:19:52,126 --> 00:19:55,185
He's innocent. But then
who put the sulfuric acid
432
00:19:55,253 --> 00:19:56,706
in Superintendent Chalmers' drink?
433
00:19:56,774 --> 00:19:57,841
I did.
434
00:19:57,909 --> 00:20:00,183
- Willie! Why?
- Why?
435
00:20:00,260 --> 00:20:03,286
Because, Seymour,
I was trying to kill you.
436
00:20:03,363 --> 00:20:05,655
Well, that's okay. Good man.
437
00:20:05,732 --> 00:20:07,159
- But...
- Quiet, Seymour.
438
00:20:07,227 --> 00:20:08,818
The man's got a dream.
439
00:20:09,721 --> 00:20:10,964
Mmm.
440
00:20:11,270 --> 00:20:13,292
I never doubted you.
441
00:20:13,782 --> 00:20:15,589
Well, you should have.
442
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:22,019
♪♪
443
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,239
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
444
00:20:33,308 --> 00:20:35,409
This episode was supposed
to have been a parody
445
00:20:35,486 --> 00:20:38,369
of Moonlight, not La La Land.
446
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,651
Moonlight?
But none of us have seen it.
447
00:20:40,719 --> 00:20:43,244
We have the DVD.
We could watch it tonight.
448
00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:45,719
Either that or X-Men: Apocalypse.
449
00:20:45,796 --> 00:20:47,178
X-Men!
450
00:20:47,511 --> 00:20:49,256
I'd like to see Moonlight.
451
00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:52,722
♪♪
452
00:20:54,983 --> 00:20:58,550
♪♪
453
00:21:02,858 --> 00:21:06,698
♪♪
454
00:21:14,964 --> 00:21:18,745
♪♪
455
00:21:24,628 --> 00:21:28,265
♪♪
32449
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