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- sync and corrections by Mr. C -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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_
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D'oh!
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George, I'm sorry to see you up here.
5
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Well, yes, but I died
for a worthy cause.
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As we speak, my body is
about to be dissected
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by a budding young scientist.
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Let's observe the dedication to learning
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of this ten-year-old scholar
by the name of Bart Simpson.
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♪ Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, die ♪
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♪ Stab, stab, die, die, death, kill. ♪
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Well, his passion is undeniable.
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Yes, very... very impressive.
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By examining my specimen's
pyloric sphincter valve,
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00:01:05,934 --> 00:01:09,836
I deduced that she had an
affinity for fruit flies.
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00:01:09,871 --> 00:01:12,906
By examining my specimen's natty dreads,
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00:01:12,941 --> 00:01:17,877
I was able to deduce that he
was a jammin' Rasta-frogian.
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My body, my little green body.
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Okay, but surely his portrayal
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of Rastafarianism will
be culturally sensitive.
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Pass the Dutchie.
22
00:01:28,590 --> 00:01:31,291
We be smokin' slabba
slabba with the Babylon.
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Ribbit, ribbit, mon.
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Come now, George.
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At least this Scottish groundskeeper
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will give your remains
a respectful burial.
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00:01:42,004 --> 00:01:45,905
Into the crapper you
go, useless froggy garbage.
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Are you going to put a
good spin on that, too?
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Hmm? Are you?!
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Well, are you?
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Well, uh... ribbit?
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I can't put these
grades on the refrigerator.
33
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I can't even put them on
the garage refrigerator.
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00:02:02,524 --> 00:02:04,157
It's not my fault.
35
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:05,992
- I blame "so-key-ity."
- What?!
36
00:02:06,028 --> 00:02:07,927
You know, so-key-ity.
37
00:02:07,963 --> 00:02:10,363
That's what everyone
blames for everything.
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You mean "society"?
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- Yeah, that's the guy.
- Honey,
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I know you're a bright boy,
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but if you don't try harder in school,
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00:02:18,473 --> 00:02:20,473
you could end up...
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...not a success.
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Oh, that. Don't worry, Mom.
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As long as I can stand on a corner
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and spin a sign reading "new condos,"
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I'll be just fine.
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00:02:47,502 --> 00:02:50,036
All that pacing isn't gonna fix the boy.
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00:02:50,072 --> 00:02:51,438
Just get him some pills.
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00:02:51,473 --> 00:02:53,740
Two pinks and a blue, and
it's off to the races.
51
00:02:53,775 --> 00:02:55,975
Everything we've tried
with Bart has failed.
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00:02:56,011 --> 00:02:57,944
What if there's nothing we can do?
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00:02:57,979 --> 00:03:00,246
Mm, "nothing we can do"
is a whole lot better
54
00:03:00,282 --> 00:03:01,815
than "it'll take all we've got."
55
00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:05,785
I wonder if anyone talks
about parenting online.
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00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,056
Look at this one!
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They're skiing.
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Skiing means happy.
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00:03:13,528 --> 00:03:16,396
Hmm, an expert with a
new book to promote.
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00:03:16,431 --> 00:03:19,933
Oh, I wonder if she'd be willing
to speak to a group for a fee.
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00:03:23,004 --> 00:03:24,571
Getting your child established
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00:03:24,606 --> 00:03:27,040
on the path to success isn't easy.
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00:03:27,075 --> 00:03:29,943
I was driving my daughter
from her falconry tournament
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00:03:29,978 --> 00:03:32,512
to lute class when she
turned to me asked...
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00:03:34,015 --> 00:03:36,916
...which is Mandarin
for, "How do you do it?"
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She and I are learning Mandarin.
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00:03:38,887 --> 00:03:40,787
The answer?
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Positive reinforcement.
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00:03:44,893 --> 00:03:47,460
In a recent study, this
mouse was denied food
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whenever he failed to find
his way through a maze.
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00:03:50,232 --> 00:03:53,366
The mouse ended up dying...
of low self-esteem.
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00:03:55,737 --> 00:03:58,037
I had a nightmare where
that happened to Bart,
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but I never told you about it.
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00:04:00,075 --> 00:04:02,542
I love it when you don't tell me things.
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00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:04,210
This mouse was given food
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00:04:04,246 --> 00:04:06,446
whether he got through the maze or not.
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00:04:06,481 --> 00:04:09,883
And this fall, he'll be
in a lab at Harvard.
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00:04:12,354 --> 00:04:16,456
Low self-esteem can cripple your
child's chances of success.
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00:04:16,491 --> 00:04:18,224
praise.
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Praise they can hold in their hands.
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Certificates, ribbons
and, yes, even trophies.
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Trophies.
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00:04:28,103 --> 00:04:30,436
So that's the easy answer.
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00:04:30,472 --> 00:04:32,238
If Ralphie's shelf says he's a winner,
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00:04:32,274 --> 00:04:33,940
then he'll be one!
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00:04:33,975 --> 00:04:37,110
And Moe yells a third thing
to feel part of the group!
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00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,815
Yes! Trophies-- that's what Bart needs.
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00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:43,817
This is how we save him.
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00:04:43,852 --> 00:04:46,085
Give Bart a trophy? What for?
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00:04:46,121 --> 00:04:48,421
Most boogers wiped on a bedroom wall?
91
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,456
They're giving trophies for that now?
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00:04:50,492 --> 00:04:52,158
I weep for this country.
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00:04:52,194 --> 00:04:54,194
Bart's future is at stake.
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00:04:54,229 --> 00:04:56,462
Besides, I'm tired of
Springfield missing out
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00:04:56,498 --> 00:05:00,300
on every parenting trend, like
the time-out and the diaper.
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00:05:00,335 --> 00:05:02,936
I never got a trophy when I was a kid,
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00:05:02,971 --> 00:05:04,637
and I turned out just...
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00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:13,646
...fine.
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00:05:13,682 --> 00:05:17,217
He's my son, and he's getting
a trophy for nothing.
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00:05:17,252 --> 00:05:19,686
You hear me? For nothing!
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00:05:21,089 --> 00:05:23,223
Huh. Huh?
102
00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:25,592
Good morning.
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00:05:25,627 --> 00:05:27,861
How's my special little winner?
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00:05:27,896 --> 00:05:30,663
How'd you get that thing in
my bed without waking me up?
105
00:05:30,699 --> 00:05:33,333
Because you're a champion sleeper.
106
00:05:33,368 --> 00:05:35,201
It's the craziest thing.
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She will not give up on that kid.
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00:05:37,572 --> 00:05:40,206
Trophies can boost self-esteem.
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If you actually win them, like I did.
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00:05:42,611 --> 00:05:43,843
But what's the point
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00:05:43,879 --> 00:05:46,246
of just handing out unearned statues?
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00:05:46,281 --> 00:05:47,747
And statuettes.
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00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:50,250
Well, it's just a waste of
gullible parents' money.
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00:05:50,285 --> 00:05:53,052
Waste of
gullible parents' money.
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Gullible parents' money.
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Money. Money.
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00:05:57,125 --> 00:05:58,992
Hmm.
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00:05:59,027 --> 00:06:01,227
Step right up! Every kid's a winner!
119
00:06:01,263 --> 00:06:03,696
The more you spend, the more you love!
120
00:06:03,732 --> 00:06:05,231
Mm-hmm.
121
00:06:07,068 --> 00:06:09,769
I thought you agreed that
trophies should be earned.
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00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:12,605
money.
123
00:06:13,642 --> 00:06:14,807
Remember, folks.
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00:06:14,843 --> 00:06:17,410
Nothing but a genuine
Trophyland trophy says
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00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:19,178
to your kids that...
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00:06:19,214 --> 00:06:21,447
♪ You're the best around ♪
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00:06:21,483 --> 00:06:23,883
♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
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00:06:23,919 --> 00:06:26,386
♪ You're the best around ♪
129
00:06:26,421 --> 00:06:28,922
♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
130
00:06:28,957 --> 00:06:30,757
♪ You're the best around ♪
131
00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:33,226
♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
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00:06:33,261 --> 00:06:34,961
♪ You're the best around ♪
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00:06:34,996 --> 00:06:36,529
♪ Nothing's gonna ♪
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00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,231
♪ Ever keep you down ♪
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00:06:38,266 --> 00:06:40,733
♪ You're the best around ♪
136
00:06:40,769 --> 00:06:43,169
♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
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00:06:43,204 --> 00:06:45,505
♪ You're the best. ♪
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00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:48,875
These stupid, loving
parents will buy trophies
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00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:50,944
for any accomplishment.
140
00:06:50,979 --> 00:06:53,613
Not wetting the bed,
using your inside voice,
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00:06:53,648 --> 00:06:56,215
even "go watch TV in the other room."
142
00:06:56,251 --> 00:06:59,419
I still think these things are
good for their self-esteem.
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00:06:59,454 --> 00:07:01,087
Not to mention the self-esteem
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00:07:01,122 --> 00:07:03,489
that comes from wad riffling.
145
00:07:04,526 --> 00:07:06,726
Look, I even put the boy to work.
146
00:07:06,761 --> 00:07:09,729
Well, then he should
get a trophy for that.
147
00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:11,097
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
148
00:07:11,132 --> 00:07:13,599
We have a saying in the
participation trophy business.
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00:07:13,635 --> 00:07:15,401
"Don't get high-- self-esteem--
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00:07:15,437 --> 00:07:17,937
on your own supply-- of self-esteem."
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00:07:17,973 --> 00:07:20,340
I don't care. I'm giving him this.
152
00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:22,141
What? Why did it break?
153
00:07:22,177 --> 00:07:23,843
The parts are of the highest quality.
154
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:26,713
They come from the
China of China: India.
155
00:07:28,683 --> 00:07:31,851
Boy, did you glue this trophy
together with bubblegum?
156
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:34,487
Eh, sticky is sticky.
I'm taking my break.
157
00:07:41,296 --> 00:07:43,363
See? Giving him
trophies did nothing.
158
00:07:43,398 --> 00:07:44,964
You've showered him with praise,
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00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,866
and he's just as lazy as ever.
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00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:49,035
Shh! What if he heard you say that?
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00:07:49,070 --> 00:07:51,604
Hey, if Bart is as bad at eavesdropping
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00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,339
as he is at everything else,
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00:07:53,375 --> 00:07:55,441
we've got nothing to worry about.
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I say we keep talking loudly.
165
00:07:57,579 --> 00:07:59,612
But what about his confidence?
166
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:02,015
Face it. Our son is a screw-up.
167
00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:05,118
He was born a screw-up, and
no matter how hard he tries--
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00:08:05,153 --> 00:08:06,686
which he never will--
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00:08:06,721 --> 00:08:09,122
Bart will always be a screw-up.
170
00:08:10,525 --> 00:08:13,292
And have you ever heard that
sound he makes when he's sad?
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00:08:13,328 --> 00:08:14,527
Pathetic.
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00:08:19,828 --> 00:08:23,330
Queen's bishop Lomotil
takes king's Ativan.
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00:08:23,365 --> 00:08:25,632
Oh, looks like I'll be
having a panic attack
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00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:27,033
on the toilet tonight.
175
00:08:27,069 --> 00:08:29,669
Look at that
whimpering little crybaby.
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00:08:29,705 --> 00:08:31,405
Wah! Wah!
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00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,974
Abe, that's your grandson.
178
00:08:34,009 --> 00:08:35,409
Come visit me!
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00:08:35,444 --> 00:08:37,077
I'm so lonely!
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00:08:37,112 --> 00:08:40,580
Wah! Wah!
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00:08:40,616 --> 00:08:42,582
What's got you down, kiddo?
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00:08:42,618 --> 00:08:44,985
My dad says I'm terrible at everything.
183
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:47,988
Oh, he's just repeating what
he heard as a boy from me.
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00:08:48,023 --> 00:08:51,458
Oh, I was an awful father,
just like my old man.
185
00:08:51,493 --> 00:08:53,193
Your dad didn't believe in you, either?
186
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:54,661
It wasn't his fault.
187
00:08:54,696 --> 00:08:57,197
He was just focused on his career
188
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,666
as a professional child-beater.
189
00:08:59,701 --> 00:09:01,635
Men would come from five towns over
190
00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:03,537
to study my father's technique.
191
00:09:03,572 --> 00:09:06,306
But no matter how many
strangles he patented,
192
00:09:06,341 --> 00:09:08,742
his father never approved.
193
00:09:10,045 --> 00:09:13,013
Even if only a little bit
of that really happened,
194
00:09:13,048 --> 00:09:15,215
I'll never escape being a loser.
195
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,850
That's loser talk!
196
00:09:16,885 --> 00:09:19,719
You're a great kid, and I'm
gonna prove it to you.
197
00:09:20,789 --> 00:09:22,889
Boy, this here's a real trophy.
198
00:09:22,925 --> 00:09:25,358
Our family's most prized possession:
199
00:09:25,394 --> 00:09:27,861
a Baumont Chrono-master Elite.
200
00:09:27,896 --> 00:09:29,362
It's been a Simpson heirloom
201
00:09:29,398 --> 00:09:32,566
ever since it was stolen off
a dead body at Gettysburg.
202
00:09:32,601 --> 00:09:34,334
In 1982.
203
00:09:34,369 --> 00:09:36,069
Whoa!
204
00:09:36,104 --> 00:09:38,672
Wait. Is this just
another gold shiny thing
205
00:09:38,707 --> 00:09:40,841
to trick me into feeling
special when I'm not?
206
00:09:40,876 --> 00:09:42,142
You are special!
207
00:09:42,177 --> 00:09:43,910
You're like my prostate--
208
00:09:43,946 --> 00:09:47,314
a spiky little troublemaker
who plays by his own rules.
209
00:09:47,349 --> 00:09:49,216
You don't take hooey from Louis.
210
00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:51,218
Never have, never will.
211
00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:56,490
I feel something.
212
00:09:56,525 --> 00:09:58,658
It's like a sunburn on the inside.
213
00:09:58,694 --> 00:09:59,993
It's called "pride."
214
00:10:00,028 --> 00:10:01,528
Every tick will remind you
215
00:10:01,563 --> 00:10:03,730
you've got a grandpa
who believes in you.
216
00:10:03,765 --> 00:10:05,365
The same way I believe
217
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,535
the retirement home has
been taken over by robots.
218
00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:09,898
I am not a robot.
219
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,031
I just have light-up sneakers.
220
00:10:25,721 --> 00:10:27,420
Why is my trophy the smallest?
221
00:10:27,456 --> 00:10:29,756
You all lost-- to me!
222
00:10:31,527 --> 00:10:35,195
Lisa, are you suggesting we
engage in excellence bias?
223
00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:38,331
She's loser-shaming me.
224
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:46,039
Why do you always have to
make trouble, ya wee harpy?
225
00:10:46,074 --> 00:10:47,841
How am I supposed to stay silent
226
00:10:47,876 --> 00:10:51,545
when parents are just blindly
chasing the latest trend?
227
00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:52,879
Ugh, parents.
228
00:10:52,915 --> 00:10:54,648
Those lazy lunch-packers.
229
00:10:54,683 --> 00:10:57,083
They just want to be told what to do.
230
00:10:57,119 --> 00:11:00,654
And there's no shortage of
experts who want to tell 'em.
231
00:11:00,689 --> 00:11:02,756
No
shortage of experts.
232
00:11:02,791 --> 00:11:04,791
Experts. Experts. Experts.
233
00:11:05,961 --> 00:11:08,495
LISA; Another parenting expert, eh?
234
00:11:11,466 --> 00:11:13,266
Clearly, this is a community in the grip
235
00:11:13,302 --> 00:11:14,701
of an addiction to trophies.
236
00:11:14,736 --> 00:11:15,869
Now, parents,
237
00:11:15,904 --> 00:11:19,105
I warn you, too much praise
creates millennials--
238
00:11:19,141 --> 00:11:22,309
a generation of soft,
entitled narcissists,
239
00:11:22,344 --> 00:11:25,845
who drop out of college
to become deejays.
240
00:11:25,881 --> 00:11:29,516
That only pays well at
the very highest levels.
241
00:11:29,551 --> 00:11:31,918
Instead of showering
your kids with gifts,
242
00:11:31,954 --> 00:11:35,021
you should prod them to
greatness with GRIT.
243
00:11:35,057 --> 00:11:36,856
Get up. Retry.
244
00:11:36,892 --> 00:11:38,692
I don't care if you're...
245
00:11:38,727 --> 00:11:40,226
Tired.
246
00:11:40,262 --> 00:11:42,262
He's got a word made of other words.
247
00:11:42,297 --> 00:11:44,598
He must know
what he's talking about.
248
00:11:44,633 --> 00:11:46,166
Oh, it is an end to praise.
249
00:11:46,201 --> 00:11:47,601
Praise Vishnu.
250
00:11:49,638 --> 00:11:51,705
Remember, GRIT also stands for:
251
00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:55,041
Get Rid of Idiotic Trophies.
252
00:11:55,077 --> 00:11:57,561
Another word word! He did it again!
253
00:11:57,563 --> 00:12:01,848
Why does the word "of"
sometimes count in the acronym
254
00:12:01,883 --> 00:12:03,783
and sometimes not?
255
00:12:03,819 --> 00:12:07,887
Shut up, Mel! Your kids live
in Nebraska with your mom.
256
00:12:07,923 --> 00:12:11,524
No more trophies!
No more trophies!
257
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,892
Uh-oh.
258
00:12:12,928 --> 00:12:14,194
You are scum, sir!
259
00:12:14,229 --> 00:12:16,429
Burn in hell!
260
00:12:16,465 --> 00:12:18,531
Kill him with GRIT!
261
00:12:20,969 --> 00:12:23,203
Hi, Homer. How's the trophy business?
262
00:12:23,238 --> 00:12:26,039
Nobody wants them
anymore, thanks to GRIT.
263
00:12:26,074 --> 00:12:29,676
Stupid parenting method I
can't exploit for money.
264
00:12:29,711 --> 00:12:31,277
Actually kinda makes sense.
265
00:12:31,313 --> 00:12:32,946
Hate it so much.
266
00:12:34,616 --> 00:12:35,949
I know that.
267
00:12:35,984 --> 00:12:37,651
That's my dad's old pocket watch.
268
00:12:37,686 --> 00:12:39,219
How did you get it?
269
00:12:39,254 --> 00:12:41,421
Oh, Grampa said I earned it.
270
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:43,556
I guess someone in this
family's proud of me.
271
00:12:43,592 --> 00:12:45,692
Oh, you didn't want it, did you?
272
00:12:45,727 --> 00:12:47,327
Yeah, right.
273
00:12:47,362 --> 00:12:49,229
That watch means nothing to me.
274
00:12:49,264 --> 00:12:52,198
Really? Then how do you
explain that case you made?
275
00:12:52,234 --> 00:12:55,635
I built it to always remind
me of what not to want.
276
00:12:55,671 --> 00:12:57,671
What about your self-published novel?
277
00:12:57,706 --> 00:12:59,706
Well, the character of John Homer
278
00:12:59,741 --> 00:13:01,841
is only partly based on me.
279
00:13:01,877 --> 00:13:04,678
Well, if I didn't know better,
I'd say you were obsessed
280
00:13:04,713 --> 00:13:06,813
with getting Grampa's watch.
281
00:13:06,848 --> 00:13:10,417
Ooh, thanks for the analysis, Dr. Freud.
282
00:13:10,452 --> 00:13:13,253
Next you'll be telling me that
this whole trophy business,
283
00:13:13,288 --> 00:13:15,555
and in fact, all my
get-rich-quick schemes
284
00:13:15,590 --> 00:13:18,925
over the years, are born of a
desperate need for approval
285
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,728
from a father who couldn't show love.
286
00:13:21,763 --> 00:13:24,030
Likely because of his
traumatic relationship
287
00:13:24,066 --> 00:13:27,634
with his own father, and
his before him, and so on.
288
00:13:27,669 --> 00:13:30,970
But, unfortunately, Dr. Freud,
289
00:13:31,006 --> 00:13:35,375
that couldn't be further
from the truth, Doctor.
290
00:13:35,410 --> 00:13:36,810
If you say so.
291
00:13:36,845 --> 00:13:39,279
Now I'm gonna take this out
and see what life is like
292
00:13:39,314 --> 00:13:42,649
with real love and encouragement
ticking in my pocket.
293
00:13:43,685 --> 00:13:45,218
Stupid watch.
294
00:13:45,253 --> 00:13:46,653
Doesn't even have a fob.
295
00:13:46,688 --> 00:13:48,455
Bart, where's the fob?
296
00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:51,791
Bart, you look like a fool!
297
00:13:56,732 --> 00:13:59,566
♪ You're the best around ♪
298
00:13:59,601 --> 00:14:02,102
♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
299
00:14:02,137 --> 00:14:04,337
♪ You're the best around ♪
300
00:14:04,372 --> 00:14:06,973
♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
301
00:14:07,008 --> 00:14:10,009
♪ You're the best around ♪
302
00:14:10,045 --> 00:14:14,114
♪ Nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪
303
00:14:14,149 --> 00:14:16,049
♪ Down ♪
304
00:14:17,786 --> 00:14:20,053
♪ Fight till the end 'cause
your life will depend ♪
305
00:14:20,088 --> 00:14:22,722
♪ On the strength that
you have inside you ♪
306
00:14:22,758 --> 00:14:25,759
♪ Ah, got to be proud, staring... ♪
307
00:14:25,794 --> 00:14:27,894
No!
308
00:14:30,599 --> 00:14:33,199
♪ You're the worst around ♪
309
00:14:33,235 --> 00:14:35,867
♪ Everything's gonna bring you down. ♪
310
00:14:36,594 --> 00:14:39,951
Okay, Milhouse, I'll drop a
rock, you watch it come down.
311
00:14:39,953 --> 00:14:42,720
That should be where
Grampa's watch landed.
312
00:14:42,765 --> 00:14:44,364
Ow!
313
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,033
Did you see where the rock landed?
314
00:14:46,068 --> 00:14:47,467
In my eye!
315
00:14:47,503 --> 00:14:50,470
Oh. That watch was the only thing
that made me not terrible.
316
00:14:50,506 --> 00:14:52,139
I can't lose it.
317
00:14:52,174 --> 00:14:55,208
I'll drop another rock a
few feet to the left.
318
00:14:57,479 --> 00:15:00,080
My other eye!
319
00:15:00,115 --> 00:15:01,281
Ow!
320
00:15:01,316 --> 00:15:04,685
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
321
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,187
Not a single one has missed me!
322
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:11,591
What are you doing?
323
00:15:11,627 --> 00:15:15,429
That expert at the school said
trophies are bad for kids.
324
00:15:15,464 --> 00:15:17,964
It's all part of GRIT.
325
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,666
No, no.
326
00:15:19,702 --> 00:15:21,702
My trophies were earned.
327
00:15:21,737 --> 00:15:23,270
Even the soccer one?
328
00:15:23,305 --> 00:15:26,373
I went to most of the practices.
329
00:15:26,408 --> 00:15:28,942
Yeah, but what happens when
another parenting expert
330
00:15:28,977 --> 00:15:32,045
comes along with a whole
new theory on self-esteem?
331
00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:33,480
Another expert?
332
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,525
Who are they? What are they saying?
333
00:15:39,388 --> 00:15:40,721
Aw.
334
00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:48,662
Okay, the watch is gone.
335
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,364
I guess I can live with being
a useless, worthless nothing
336
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,999
as long as no one finds out.
337
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:56,570
Sweetie, your grampa's on the phone.
338
00:15:56,605 --> 00:15:57,571
Hello.
339
00:15:57,606 --> 00:15:59,005
Great news, kiddo.
340
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,308
Remember That magazine is putting out
341
00:16:01,343 --> 00:16:03,844
their annual family heirlooms issue.
342
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,412
They want us for the cover.
343
00:16:05,447 --> 00:16:07,681
You, me and the pocket watch.
344
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:08,548
Um...
345
00:16:08,584 --> 00:16:09,950
It's a great story.
346
00:16:09,985 --> 00:16:13,086
Passing a beloved heirloom
from grandfather to grandson.
347
00:16:13,122 --> 00:16:16,423
A gift that restored a
child's faith in himself.
348
00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:19,359
Uh, Grampa, there's something
I have to tell you.
349
00:16:19,394 --> 00:16:20,494
Hold on one second.
350
00:16:20,529 --> 00:16:22,095
I'm just finishing up
351
00:16:22,131 --> 00:16:24,364
a mandatory pre-article heart exam.
352
00:16:24,399 --> 00:16:26,233
Doc says as long as I don't suffer
353
00:16:26,268 --> 00:16:29,169
any major disappointments, I'll be fine.
354
00:16:29,204 --> 00:16:31,204
Now, what did you want to tell me?
355
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,440
Uh, helmets ruined football.
356
00:16:33,475 --> 00:16:35,675
Exactly! If you want
to protect your head,
357
00:16:35,711 --> 00:16:36,943
grow your hair long.
358
00:16:36,979 --> 00:16:39,579
Anyway, I'll see you
tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.
359
00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:43,116
And you won't be late because
you've got that watch.
360
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,520
Stupid parenting experts.
361
00:16:46,555 --> 00:16:49,689
Why don't they write a book
called Stop Buying These Books?
362
00:16:49,725 --> 00:16:51,291
Everybody'd buy that.
363
00:16:51,326 --> 00:16:53,360
Even if I was listening
to what you said,
364
00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:55,362
it doesn't matter; nothing matters.
365
00:16:55,397 --> 00:16:57,230
My trophy business has failed
366
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,266
and Bart has the thing I wanted most:
367
00:16:59,301 --> 00:17:00,901
Grampa's watch.
368
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:01,902
What watch?
369
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:04,304
The one you get for being a success.
370
00:17:04,339 --> 00:17:05,839
Well, then I should have it.
371
00:17:05,874 --> 00:17:07,941
Uh, that never really came up.
372
00:17:07,976 --> 00:17:11,244
All that's left to do now is
bring these to the needy.
373
00:17:13,215 --> 00:17:15,482
Best I can do is charge you ten dollars
374
00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:17,117
to throw them in my Dumpster.
375
00:17:17,152 --> 00:17:19,920
How about I give you a trophy
that says "Best Pawn Shop"?
376
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,688
Not unless I earned it.
377
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,392
Dad's watch!
378
00:17:25,427 --> 00:17:26,726
Hey, dirtbag shopkeep.
379
00:17:26,762 --> 00:17:28,295
How did this come to you?
380
00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:29,796
Mm. Some kid brought it in.
381
00:17:29,832 --> 00:17:31,598
Said he was mad at his friend
382
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:35,402
for dropping so many rocks in his eye.
383
00:17:35,437 --> 00:17:37,437
That dude's seen a lot of living.
384
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:41,007
Yours for 20 bucks.
385
00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:42,475
That's an insult.
386
00:17:42,511 --> 00:17:44,845
You're talking about a
self-worth-boosting antique
387
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,347
that's been in my
family for generations.
388
00:17:47,382 --> 00:17:48,715
Twenty-two?
389
00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:50,817
You'll take it all and you'll like it.
390
00:17:57,593 --> 00:17:59,259
Yes. I have it.
391
00:17:59,294 --> 00:18:00,861
Some said it would never happen.
392
00:18:00,896 --> 00:18:02,863
Most were unaware of the situation.
393
00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:05,932
But I finally have my father's watch!
394
00:18:10,405 --> 00:18:13,974
Oh, Bart,
look what Daddy's got now.
395
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:21,281
Grampa was the only person
who believed in me.
396
00:18:21,316 --> 00:18:23,850
But when he finds out I lost the watch,
397
00:18:23,886 --> 00:18:25,151
even he'll give up.
398
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,454
Stay strong, Homer.
399
00:18:27,489 --> 00:18:29,189
Don't go soft on him now.
400
00:18:29,224 --> 00:18:31,825
This is a once-in-a-lifetime
face-rubbing-in.
401
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,593
Mm. Come on, foot.
402
00:18:33,629 --> 00:18:34,761
Kick, damn you!
403
00:18:37,299 --> 00:18:41,668
Son, I found something
that belongs to you.
404
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:43,570
Grampa's watch!
405
00:18:43,605 --> 00:18:45,572
No. I can't take it.
406
00:18:45,607 --> 00:18:47,674
I didn't earn it, so I don't deserve it.
407
00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:49,042
You were right.
408
00:18:49,077 --> 00:18:50,577
I am a screwup.
409
00:18:50,612 --> 00:18:54,247
But, boy, who screwed you up?
410
00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:56,149
You.
411
00:18:56,184 --> 00:18:57,851
It was you.
412
00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:00,587
And those who came before.
413
00:19:07,796 --> 00:19:09,763
It's stuck in your hand fat.
414
00:19:09,798 --> 00:19:14,000
Oh. You got to wedge something
in there to break the vacuum.
415
00:19:18,874 --> 00:19:20,173
Okay.
416
00:19:20,208 --> 00:19:22,275
Smile, my little watch watcher.
417
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:33,119
That was a nice thing you did.
418
00:19:33,155 --> 00:19:35,622
Which parenting guide told you to do it?
419
00:19:35,657 --> 00:19:37,557
Well, baby, sometimes you just
420
00:19:37,592 --> 00:19:39,866
got to trust your gut.
421
00:19:40,968 --> 00:19:42,788
_
422
00:19:48,737 --> 00:19:50,690
_
423
00:19:50,692 --> 00:19:53,995
_
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