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1
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:21,965
Hey!
2
00:01:04,396 --> 00:01:06,409
Hello? Hello?
3
00:01:06,410 --> 00:01:10,346
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
4
00:01:10,347 --> 00:01:12,403
Oh, finally, I get the remote.
5
00:01:19,069 --> 00:01:20,861
Hmm. Hmm?
6
00:01:20,862 --> 00:01:24,365
Homer, are you ever planning on
putting this stuff together?
7
00:01:24,366 --> 00:01:28,644
Sure, right after I watch this DVD.
8
00:01:28,645 --> 00:01:30,187
Just what are you watching
9
00:01:30,188 --> 00:01:31,855
that's so important?
10
00:01:31,856 --> 00:01:34,149
Outstanding College Mascot Fights?
11
00:01:34,150 --> 00:01:35,985
S.E.C. edition.
12
00:01:39,197 --> 00:01:41,198
The top-heavy mascots always lose.
13
00:01:41,199 --> 00:01:43,267
Unless they're fighting
something with no arms.
14
00:01:43,268 --> 00:01:45,269
See? The Stanford Tree
15
00:01:45,270 --> 00:01:48,138
is no match for the Tulane Green Wave.
16
00:01:49,274 --> 00:01:50,391
There's people inside.
17
00:01:50,392 --> 00:01:51,725
Marge, do you see?
18
00:01:51,726 --> 00:01:54,228
Maggie!
19
00:01:54,229 --> 00:01:55,479
That's it, mister.
20
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,281
You're putting everything
together today.
21
00:01:57,282 --> 00:01:58,282
Marjorie,
22
00:01:58,283 --> 00:01:59,733
isn't it a little sexist
23
00:01:59,734 --> 00:02:02,362
to expect me to do all the carpentry?
24
00:02:02,363 --> 00:02:05,198
Or you can take Bart to the
mall to get fitted for...
25
00:02:05,199 --> 00:02:07,349
Sorry,
the drill is too loud!
26
00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:09,460
I can't hear the options!
27
00:02:14,999 --> 00:02:17,526
"Vous avez 'termine'"?
28
00:02:17,527 --> 00:02:19,028
"Vous avez 'termine'"?
29
00:02:19,029 --> 00:02:20,237
"Du ar klar"?
30
00:02:20,238 --> 00:02:21,864
"Du bist fertig"?
31
00:02:21,865 --> 00:02:24,475
"You are 'fini-shed'"?
32
00:02:24,476 --> 00:02:25,868
Oh, I am finished!
33
00:02:25,869 --> 00:02:26,869
Whoo-hoo!
34
00:02:28,596 --> 00:02:29,596
D'oh!
35
00:02:29,597 --> 00:02:30,873
I'm trapped.
36
00:02:33,351 --> 00:02:34,685
Here, boy. Come here.
37
00:02:34,686 --> 00:02:36,753
Who's a good Allen wrench?
38
00:02:36,754 --> 00:02:38,255
You's a good Allen wrench.
39
00:02:38,256 --> 00:02:39,256
Come here.
40
00:02:41,326 --> 00:02:42,993
Come on.
41
00:02:47,432 --> 00:02:50,059
Huh? That isn't the same
Allen wrench I swallowed.
42
00:02:53,938 --> 00:02:55,956
Hey, Barney, how's it going?
43
00:02:55,957 --> 00:02:57,566
Fine. How are you?
44
00:02:57,567 --> 00:03:01,512
I need help. Can you come right over?
45
00:03:01,513 --> 00:03:04,548
Homer, you should use
the Choremonkey app.
46
00:03:04,549 --> 00:03:06,116
People do all your chores,
47
00:03:06,117 --> 00:03:08,577
so you're free to follow your dreams.
48
00:03:08,578 --> 00:03:12,956
My dream right now is
beer and toilet paper.
49
00:03:12,957 --> 00:03:16,143
Mr. Gumble, because I'm a decent person,
50
00:03:16,144 --> 00:03:18,312
this is the last beer
I'm going to bring you.
51
00:03:18,313 --> 00:03:20,089
I'll just use Uburp.
52
00:03:22,633 --> 00:03:25,427
Stop eating me, I'm not dead yet!
53
00:03:26,905 --> 00:03:29,490
Choremonkey to the rescue.
54
00:03:29,491 --> 00:03:30,707
Oh!
55
00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:32,543
Oh, thank you.
56
00:03:32,544 --> 00:03:36,046
I think this is the beginning
of an unhealthy dependence.
57
00:03:36,047 --> 00:03:37,214
Aw.
58
00:03:38,550 --> 00:03:42,052
♪ I'm a fool
to do my dirty work ♪
59
00:03:42,053 --> 00:03:44,388
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
60
00:03:44,389 --> 00:03:48,592
♪ I can hire all these nerdy jerks ♪
61
00:03:48,593 --> 00:03:49,993
♪ For free ♪
62
00:03:56,401 --> 00:04:00,070
♪ I ain't gonna do my dirty work ♪
63
00:04:00,071 --> 00:04:02,272
♪ No more ♪
64
00:04:02,273 --> 00:04:05,776
♪ Gonna leave my socks and dirty shirt ♪
65
00:04:05,777 --> 00:04:07,469
♪ On the floor. ♪
66
00:04:07,470 --> 00:04:08,470
Homie,
67
00:04:08,471 --> 00:04:09,913
I don't like that the house
68
00:04:09,914 --> 00:04:12,032
is full of strangers all the time.
69
00:04:12,033 --> 00:04:14,451
And I... wait, wait, why are
you taking out your phone?
70
00:04:15,587 --> 00:04:18,121
No. Don't you Choremonkey me!
71
00:04:18,122 --> 00:04:20,690
Sweetie, you know I'm
no good at arguments,
72
00:04:20,691 --> 00:04:22,459
so I brought in a professional.
73
00:04:22,460 --> 00:04:24,094
Hello, ma'am, my name's Blake,
74
00:04:24,095 --> 00:04:26,696
and I'm a retired FBI
hostage negotiator.
75
00:04:26,697 --> 00:04:29,600
I wouldn't say this is
a hostage situation.
76
00:04:29,601 --> 00:04:30,767
Mm, no one said it was, ma'am.
77
00:04:30,768 --> 00:04:32,269
I'm just here to listen.
78
00:04:32,270 --> 00:04:33,996
So that was step one: listening.
79
00:04:33,997 --> 00:04:35,272
Next, empathy.
80
00:04:35,273 --> 00:04:37,274
I'm standing right here, you know.
81
00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:39,893
Mm, it must be frustrating
for you to hear me talk
82
00:04:39,894 --> 00:04:41,311
like you're invisible.
83
00:04:41,312 --> 00:04:43,780
It is. It is.
84
00:04:43,781 --> 00:04:45,566
Step Three: I build a rapport.
85
00:04:45,567 --> 00:04:48,402
You know, I love the color
scheme in your home.
86
00:04:48,403 --> 00:04:51,513
I feel like you're saying that
just to build a rapport with me.
87
00:04:51,514 --> 00:04:53,624
Wow, that's very observant.
88
00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:54,908
Very wise.
89
00:04:54,909 --> 00:04:56,685
Oh, well, thank you.
90
00:04:56,686 --> 00:04:57,686
Nice.
91
00:04:57,687 --> 00:04:58,895
This ain't my first rodeo.
92
00:04:58,896 --> 00:05:00,130
Marge, right now
93
00:05:00,131 --> 00:05:02,191
I bet you wish you were just back home
94
00:05:02,192 --> 00:05:03,192
in your kitchen.
95
00:05:03,193 --> 00:05:05,085
I am back home in my kitchen!
96
00:05:05,086 --> 00:05:06,470
Then life is good.
97
00:05:06,471 --> 00:05:07,471
Am I right?
98
00:05:07,472 --> 00:05:08,972
Mm-hmm. You are.
99
00:05:08,973 --> 00:05:11,341
While I'm here, could I
also fix your icemaker?
100
00:05:11,342 --> 00:05:12,342
Yes.
101
00:05:12,343 --> 00:05:13,760
Oh, yes.
102
00:05:13,761 --> 00:05:15,596
Blake, I adore you.
103
00:05:15,597 --> 00:05:16,913
Shh. It's over now.
104
00:05:16,914 --> 00:05:18,599
Go get some rest.
105
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,317
Hmm.
106
00:05:20,318 --> 00:05:22,486
Homer, can we throw the ball around?
107
00:05:22,487 --> 00:05:24,655
Oh, um...
108
00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:26,990
By "we," I mean me and
your chore monkey.
109
00:05:26,991 --> 00:05:29,551
Oh, of course! Sure, buddy.
110
00:05:29,552 --> 00:05:31,495
For you I'll get one
without a criminal record.
111
00:05:31,496 --> 00:05:33,664
Which means I'll have to
use Choremonkey Gold.
112
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,393
Good one, Bart.
113
00:05:38,394 --> 00:05:41,271
Wait, are you Heisman
Trophy-winner Matt Leinart?
114
00:05:41,272 --> 00:05:42,506
Yep, I am.
115
00:05:42,507 --> 00:05:44,041
And you need this job?
116
00:05:44,042 --> 00:05:46,877
Yeah, I haven't really
been smart with my money
117
00:05:46,878 --> 00:05:48,295
after football.
118
00:05:50,114 --> 00:05:52,282
But what about your broadcasting work?
119
00:05:52,283 --> 00:05:55,577
Uh, sunk it all into my
Thai-Irish fusion restaurant,
120
00:05:55,578 --> 00:05:56,895
Shamrock Spice.
121
00:06:01,459 --> 00:06:03,860
On the plus side, he taught me
how to throw a perfect spiral.
122
00:06:04,979 --> 00:06:06,088
Yes!
123
00:06:06,089 --> 00:06:07,589
Frozen rope, kiddo!
124
00:06:07,590 --> 00:06:09,316
Aw, love you, man.
125
00:06:09,317 --> 00:06:11,234
Ah, I love you.
126
00:06:11,235 --> 00:06:14,037
Maybe I should play a little
catch with my son now.
127
00:06:14,038 --> 00:06:16,206
Whatever, Hoss, let's see what you got.
128
00:06:17,475 --> 00:06:18,767
My zinnias!
129
00:06:18,768 --> 00:06:19,976
Annuals.
130
00:06:19,977 --> 00:06:21,328
Wait, please, just let me try again.
131
00:06:23,773 --> 00:06:26,108
Dad, you're embarrassing me
in front of Matt Leinart.
132
00:06:26,109 --> 00:06:27,651
- But...
- Wow.
133
00:06:27,652 --> 00:06:28,944
You made that for me?
134
00:06:28,945 --> 00:06:30,721
No, it used to be O.J.'s.
135
00:06:30,722 --> 00:06:31,988
Yeah, Little Juice.
136
00:06:31,989 --> 00:06:34,057
Oh, stupid Choremonkey.
137
00:06:34,058 --> 00:06:36,785
Another thing I overdo
bites me in the butt.
138
00:06:41,566 --> 00:06:43,266
Uh-oh.
139
00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:45,068
You're late.
140
00:06:45,069 --> 00:06:47,003
There's no specified time, sir.
141
00:06:47,004 --> 00:06:49,005
And you did receive progress alerts.
142
00:06:49,006 --> 00:06:49,940
Whatever, fine.
143
00:06:49,941 --> 00:06:51,149
Just throw the damn ball.
144
00:06:52,569 --> 00:06:55,195
- So, how was your day?
- Pretty good.
145
00:06:55,196 --> 00:06:58,515
I've thrown various balls with
six different middle-aged men.
146
00:06:58,516 --> 00:07:00,584
All right, stop talking,
you're ruining it.
147
00:07:00,585 --> 00:07:02,311
Nice pass, sir.
148
00:07:02,312 --> 00:07:03,704
For someone your age.
149
00:07:03,705 --> 00:07:05,422
Ju... This isn't fun at all.
150
00:07:05,423 --> 00:07:06,757
- I'm done.
- Fine.
151
00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:10,026
You know the monkeys
also rate the customers.
152
00:07:10,027 --> 00:07:12,629
Now everyone will know
what kind of man you are.
153
00:07:12,630 --> 00:07:14,197
Good-bye, Tyler.
154
00:07:14,198 --> 00:07:15,767
Jerk.
155
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:18,900
"Jerk." Bart used to call me that.
156
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,450
Be careful, Dad.
157
00:07:23,451 --> 00:07:25,745
Being careful is not going to get us
158
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,748
on America's Funniest Home Videos.
159
00:07:27,749 --> 00:07:30,793
Now, when I nod, you pull
the bottom brick out
160
00:07:30,794 --> 00:07:32,630
and the wall falls on me.
161
00:07:32,631 --> 00:07:34,533
Then call Vin Di Bona Productions,
162
00:07:34,534 --> 00:07:36,069
then an ambulance.
163
00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:38,639
Wait. Won't they know
this video is fake?
164
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,975
Why would I be filming
you making a wall?
165
00:07:40,976 --> 00:07:42,745
Why didn't you bring these things up
166
00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:44,047
at the production meeting?
167
00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:45,583
Well, it's too late now!
168
00:07:45,584 --> 00:07:47,486
Oh, great!
169
00:07:47,487 --> 00:07:50,507
Dad, can I get you one
of my children's Xanax?
170
00:07:50,508 --> 00:07:53,894
What I need is that $10,000 prize.
171
00:07:53,895 --> 00:07:56,848
Not $5,000. I already
spent that on bricks.
172
00:07:56,849 --> 00:07:58,459
Now pull that rope.
173
00:07:58,460 --> 00:08:00,836
If I pull the rope and it kills you,
174
00:08:00,837 --> 00:08:02,689
I'll need a lot of therapy.
175
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,941
I'm not gonna die, son.
176
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:07,744
Uh, but if I do, can you
play "Nobody Does It Better"
177
00:08:07,745 --> 00:08:09,804
at my funeral on the recorder?
178
00:08:09,805 --> 00:08:11,581
I can't be a part of this.
179
00:08:11,582 --> 00:08:14,083
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
180
00:08:14,084 --> 00:08:15,618
Luann, help!
181
00:08:15,619 --> 00:08:18,588
I'm in a hurry.
182
00:08:18,589 --> 00:08:20,707
Well, at least I got it on video.
183
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:21,874
Delete.
184
00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:24,544
Ah, come on.
185
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,129
Haw-haw!
186
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,726
Dad, it's me.
187
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:35,722
What are you doing here?
It's not pudding day.
188
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,891
My son doesn't
want to be with me anymore.
189
00:08:38,892 --> 00:08:42,003
So you realize that's how you've
treated me all these years
190
00:08:42,004 --> 00:08:44,230
and you've come to apologize.
191
00:08:44,231 --> 00:08:46,065
Look, Dad, I would visit more
192
00:08:46,066 --> 00:08:48,509
if I hadn't put you in
such a depressing place.
193
00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:49,485
Whatever.
194
00:08:49,486 --> 00:08:51,721
I've got a real problem here.
195
00:08:51,722 --> 00:08:53,322
I'm gonna be a father again!
196
00:08:53,323 --> 00:08:55,350
My girlfriend's pregnant.
197
00:08:55,351 --> 00:08:57,393
That's insane!
198
00:08:57,394 --> 00:09:00,246
I leave you alone for six months
and this is what happens?
199
00:09:00,247 --> 00:09:01,897
How did you even meet her?
200
00:09:01,898 --> 00:09:04,333
Oh, this home just got the Internet
201
00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:06,586
and everyone's using
senior dating sites.
202
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:07,903
Gray Date,
203
00:09:07,904 --> 00:09:10,173
Friends with Social Security Benefits.
204
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:13,309
Everyone's making whoopee
and hanky-panky.
205
00:09:13,310 --> 00:09:14,702
A few are even having sex.
206
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,980
You can't leave me.
207
00:09:17,981 --> 00:09:20,516
We started a puzzle together.
208
00:09:20,517 --> 00:09:22,418
My heart's bleeding.
209
00:09:22,419 --> 00:09:23,686
Seriously.
210
00:09:23,687 --> 00:09:26,113
Please call 911.
211
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,552
Abraham Simpson.
212
00:09:31,553 --> 00:09:33,388
Are you skipping town on me?
213
00:09:33,389 --> 00:09:35,782
No, no. I like you.
214
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,700
It's the baby I'm skipping town on.
215
00:09:37,701 --> 00:09:39,335
You don't want our baby?
216
00:09:39,336 --> 00:09:42,730
Before you judge me,
look where my DNA leads.
217
00:09:42,731 --> 00:09:44,232
I'm fine.
218
00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,068
Hmm.
219
00:09:47,069 --> 00:09:48,878
I think he's sweet.
220
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,546
Would he like to play with my keys?
221
00:09:50,547 --> 00:09:53,683
I am a normal person, and yes.
222
00:09:53,684 --> 00:09:55,384
All right, I'll man up.
223
00:09:55,385 --> 00:09:57,412
But remember, men of my generation
224
00:09:57,413 --> 00:09:59,889
don't change a diaper, attend a birth,
225
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:02,958
or talk to the child
before he's drafted.
226
00:10:02,959 --> 00:10:05,127
I couldn't ask for more.
227
00:10:08,324 --> 00:10:09,982
I thought you just rolled.
228
00:10:09,983 --> 00:10:11,701
Those were my knees.
229
00:10:11,702 --> 00:10:13,135
Rent six dollars?!
230
00:10:13,136 --> 00:10:15,638
You can't even buy a
Monopoly set for that.
231
00:10:15,639 --> 00:10:17,824
Great commentary, Bart.
232
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:18,825
Love you, man.
233
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:21,143
I love you.
234
00:10:21,144 --> 00:10:22,144
Hi, I'm Matt.
235
00:10:22,145 --> 00:10:23,329
Milhouse.
236
00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:24,605
I'm Bart's best friend.
237
00:10:24,606 --> 00:10:27,483
Aw, sounds like someone
wants an autograph.
238
00:10:27,484 --> 00:10:28,885
I do.
239
00:10:28,886 --> 00:10:30,111
Who are you?
240
00:10:30,112 --> 00:10:31,337
I misspelled my name.
241
00:10:31,338 --> 00:10:32,655
But that makes it worth more.
242
00:10:32,656 --> 00:10:34,657
Come on, Leinart, get
your head in the game.
243
00:10:34,658 --> 00:10:36,617
Bart, I got a straight up swap.
244
00:10:36,618 --> 00:10:38,494
How 'bout I give you
Boardwalk and Park Place,
245
00:10:38,495 --> 00:10:40,346
and you give me Ventnor?
246
00:10:40,347 --> 00:10:41,564
That's crazy talk.
247
00:10:41,565 --> 00:10:42,957
Oh, yeah?
248
00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:44,834
What "History of Board
Games" class did you take
249
00:10:44,835 --> 00:10:46,435
when you were in college?
250
00:10:46,436 --> 00:10:49,113
My friend, you have a deal.
251
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,467
You got Chance.
252
00:10:52,468 --> 00:10:54,277
"Take a walk on the Boardwalk,"
253
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,803
which I now own, and you're bankrupt
254
00:10:55,804 --> 00:10:57,012
and I win.
255
00:10:57,013 --> 00:10:59,031
Wow, you beat me at every game,
256
00:10:59,032 --> 00:11:01,476
even Heisman Trophy Trivial Pursuit.
257
00:11:01,477 --> 00:11:03,478
Oh! Can I play Bart next?
258
00:11:03,479 --> 00:11:05,705
I carry my own little top hat with me.
259
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:06,706
Oh.
260
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,124
Is this guy bothering you, Bart?
261
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,258
I'll make sure he finds the door.
262
00:11:10,527 --> 00:11:13,028
Could you throw me out
in a perfect spiral?
263
00:11:13,029 --> 00:11:15,431
I can walk you out in a straight line.
264
00:11:15,432 --> 00:11:18,718
Wow! No one's gonna
believe that at school.
265
00:11:20,662 --> 00:11:22,012
Huh?
266
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,725
"Always let him win"?
267
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,002
"Don't let him see this sheet"?
268
00:11:28,003 --> 00:11:29,979
He called me the greatest
receiver he'd ever thrown to.
269
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:32,064
Was that a lie, too?
270
00:11:32,065 --> 00:11:33,783
Get out there.
271
00:11:33,784 --> 00:11:35,676
Hey, Mr. Simpson.
272
00:11:35,677 --> 00:11:37,453
Hey, Milk Dud.
273
00:11:37,454 --> 00:11:40,072
Uh, listen, I got to go
change the oil in my car.
274
00:11:40,073 --> 00:11:41,657
Don't you want to get a Choremonkey?
275
00:11:41,658 --> 00:11:43,125
They cut me off.
276
00:11:43,126 --> 00:11:45,494
I never dreamed when I gave
'em my credit card number
277
00:11:45,495 --> 00:11:47,163
that they would charge me.
278
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,689
You could help me out if you want.
279
00:11:48,690 --> 00:11:50,525
I have an old shirt you could wear.
280
00:11:50,526 --> 00:11:52,251
An old shirt! Wow!
281
00:11:52,252 --> 00:11:54,845
My dad doesn't have any of those.
282
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,532
Wow.
283
00:11:57,533 --> 00:12:00,259
Anyone ever tell you that
you're excellent at gluing?
284
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:01,744
Um, no.
285
00:12:01,745 --> 00:12:04,705
And your rubber cement boogers
were very convincing.
286
00:12:04,706 --> 00:12:06,766
Look, I know you're doing
this because you have to.
287
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,250
How would you like it if the other team
288
00:12:08,251 --> 00:12:09,602
had just let you win all the time?
289
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,103
That would have been really great.
290
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:13,881
Listen, I have another Choremonkey job.
291
00:12:13,882 --> 00:12:15,324
I'll see you around.
292
00:12:17,719 --> 00:12:20,388
Huh? Huh. Hmm.
293
00:12:20,389 --> 00:12:24,200
Wait, I don't think a bouncer
throws people into a bar.
294
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,768
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You
just bounce, all right?
295
00:12:25,769 --> 00:12:27,370
I'll tell you which way.
296
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,504
Get in there.
297
00:12:28,505 --> 00:12:29,897
Ralph.
298
00:12:29,898 --> 00:12:32,291
Yay! I'm a touchdown.
299
00:12:34,277 --> 00:12:35,628
Boop!
300
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:38,239
Look who's a greasy guy!
301
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,217
Now you're greasy, too!
302
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,578
Look at you.
303
00:12:43,579 --> 00:12:45,187
Bloop, bloop.
304
00:12:45,188 --> 00:12:48,057
Well, hello, Tony Stark.
305
00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:50,418
We've never had fun like
that in my whole life.
306
00:12:50,419 --> 00:12:53,479
Oh, look! The engine block
pizza is almost done.
307
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,565
Engine block pizza?
308
00:12:56,566 --> 00:12:58,401
Car food is our thing.
309
00:12:58,402 --> 00:12:59,860
Careful you don't burn your mouth.
310
00:12:59,861 --> 00:13:02,167
Oh. He never warns me.
311
00:13:02,711 --> 00:13:05,297
Vijay Singh
has chosen a seven iron
312
00:13:05,298 --> 00:13:06,507
for his approach here
313
00:13:06,508 --> 00:13:08,776
at the fifth on St Andrews.
314
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:12,413
My zombies have got you now.
315
00:13:12,414 --> 00:13:14,615
Mm.
316
00:13:14,616 --> 00:13:16,475
What's the matter? Aren't
you into the game?
317
00:13:16,476 --> 00:13:18,252
Uh, yeah, yeah.
318
00:13:24,835 --> 00:13:27,211
Good luck with that zombie Bing Crosby!
319
00:13:27,212 --> 00:13:28,695
B-B-Brains.
320
00:13:32,476 --> 00:13:34,552
Eh, I won. Whoo-hoo.
321
00:13:34,553 --> 00:13:36,220
Huh? Didn't seem like
you were too excited
322
00:13:36,221 --> 00:13:37,805
when you sliced me in half.
323
00:13:37,806 --> 00:13:39,540
It's just hard when you think
you're gonna be slicing
324
00:13:39,541 --> 00:13:42,226
the same boy in half all your life.
325
00:13:42,227 --> 00:13:43,561
Uh-huh...
326
00:13:43,562 --> 00:13:45,404
Well, I guess I'd better get to work.
327
00:13:46,991 --> 00:13:48,490
On a Friday?
328
00:13:50,485 --> 00:13:52,152
Why are you wearing a fishing hat?
329
00:13:52,153 --> 00:13:54,388
Are you going
fishing without me?
330
00:13:54,389 --> 00:13:57,057
What is happening with us?
331
00:13:57,058 --> 00:14:00,160
If you've got something
to say, just say it.
332
00:14:00,161 --> 00:14:02,079
Unless it's boring.
333
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,998
Is there someone else?
334
00:14:03,999 --> 00:14:07,501
Oh! Spare me your melodramata!
335
00:14:20,558 --> 00:14:22,316
Marge, I can't have a baby.
336
00:14:22,317 --> 00:14:25,352
Coordinating our sleep
schedules will be a nightmare.
337
00:14:25,353 --> 00:14:29,048
Plus, the only good relationship
I ever had was with my hat.
338
00:14:29,049 --> 00:14:31,442
Then the wind blew it away.
339
00:14:31,443 --> 00:14:33,611
You didn't have a good
relationship with your father?
340
00:14:33,612 --> 00:14:35,095
Hmm.
341
00:14:37,098 --> 00:14:39,099
Come here, sweet pea, give me a burp.
342
00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:40,501
Youse can do it.
343
00:14:42,337 --> 00:14:44,605
Aah! Youse got milk on me!
344
00:14:44,606 --> 00:14:46,232
I'll murdalize ya!
345
00:14:52,473 --> 00:14:54,907
Oh... that was before
346
00:14:54,908 --> 00:14:58,469
throwin' your baby into the sun
was considered child abuse.
347
00:14:58,470 --> 00:15:01,914
So you see, Simpson men just don't...
348
00:15:01,915 --> 00:15:03,624
Wait a minute!
349
00:15:05,627 --> 00:15:11,189
Now yank the hook out and throw
him back because we're humane.
350
00:15:16,705 --> 00:15:19,373
I've never seen Homer and Bart so close.
351
00:15:19,374 --> 00:15:22,910
Maybe I can finally be a good dad!
352
00:15:22,911 --> 00:15:24,161
That's not Bart.
353
00:15:24,162 --> 00:15:26,080
Don't ruin my epiphany!
354
00:15:27,774 --> 00:15:30,050
Hey, Mr. Van Houten.
355
00:15:30,051 --> 00:15:32,753
- Oh, hey, Bart. Milhouse isn't here.
- I know.
356
00:15:32,754 --> 00:15:34,054
And I don't care.
357
00:15:34,055 --> 00:15:36,823
Are you making envelope soup?
358
00:15:36,824 --> 00:15:38,117
Envelope soup?
359
00:15:38,118 --> 00:15:40,160
That'd be silly.
360
00:15:40,161 --> 00:15:42,162
No, I'm stamp mining.
361
00:15:42,163 --> 00:15:44,898
You steam off the stamp,
color in the postmark,
362
00:15:44,899 --> 00:15:47,434
and you just made half a dollar. Almost.
363
00:15:47,435 --> 00:15:49,311
Want to try?
364
00:15:51,365 --> 00:15:53,840
Careful! That's a forever stamp!
365
00:15:53,841 --> 00:15:55,776
Could be worth a fortune some day.
366
00:15:55,777 --> 00:15:57,010
Well done.
367
00:15:57,011 --> 00:15:58,529
And look at me.
368
00:15:58,530 --> 00:16:00,698
I'm hangin' out with Bart Simpson.
369
00:16:00,699 --> 00:16:02,416
That's so cool.
370
00:16:02,417 --> 00:16:04,868
I can't wait till Wendell
sees us hangin' out.
371
00:16:04,869 --> 00:16:06,044
Oh, hey.
372
00:16:08,465 --> 00:16:10,624
Oh, I built it up too much.
373
00:16:12,093 --> 00:16:14,261
♪ What do you do with a drunken Homer? ♪
374
00:16:14,262 --> 00:16:16,096
♪ Make him watch
"Hunt for Red October" ♪
375
00:16:16,097 --> 00:16:17,931
♪ Let him drive in a lunar rover ♪
376
00:16:17,932 --> 00:16:19,199
♪ Tickle his nose with a... ♪
377
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,492
Oh, hi, Marge.
378
00:16:20,493 --> 00:16:23,437
Homer, why were you
fishing with Milhouse?
379
00:16:23,438 --> 00:16:26,540
Because for once, I'm with
a kid who respects me.
380
00:16:26,541 --> 00:16:28,559
One who doesn't call me "Homer."
381
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,377
I didn't know that bothered you.
382
00:16:30,378 --> 00:16:32,146
It does. A lot.
383
00:16:32,147 --> 00:16:33,672
Oh, Homer.
384
00:16:33,673 --> 00:16:35,341
Feels good when you say it.
385
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:36,734
Homer.
386
00:16:36,735 --> 00:16:38,452
Ah...
387
00:16:38,453 --> 00:16:40,571
Honey, maybe you should talk to Bart.
388
00:16:40,572 --> 00:16:42,222
He's just behind that wall.
389
00:16:42,223 --> 00:16:43,682
Yeah, Homer!
390
00:16:43,683 --> 00:16:45,058
Get your fat ass over here!
391
00:16:45,059 --> 00:16:46,393
You see? You see?!
392
00:16:46,394 --> 00:16:48,162
It's not bad enough he calls me "Homer."
393
00:16:48,163 --> 00:16:50,748
He calls my buttocks "ass."
394
00:16:50,749 --> 00:16:53,250
Hmm. He probably learned that at school.
395
00:16:53,251 --> 00:16:54,901
You bet your ass he did.
396
00:16:54,902 --> 00:16:56,670
Maybe you and Lisa can talk to him.
397
00:16:56,671 --> 00:16:59,423
Lisa and I aren't speaking right now.
398
00:16:59,424 --> 00:17:02,201
I can't believe you threw
away my Utne Readers!
399
00:17:02,202 --> 00:17:06,263
Oh, is that how
you pronounce it? Aah!
400
00:17:09,751 --> 00:17:12,894
For most of my child's
life, I'll be gone.
401
00:17:15,566 --> 00:17:17,424
When you're cremated, you feel it!
402
00:17:17,425 --> 00:17:19,193
Warn everyone!
403
00:17:19,194 --> 00:17:20,952
Aah.
404
00:17:23,290 --> 00:17:25,390
Oh, Abe, hi.
405
00:17:25,391 --> 00:17:27,059
I-I was about to call you.
406
00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:29,061
I had an ultrasound today. But...
407
00:17:30,872 --> 00:17:32,039
Does this mean...?
408
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,565
Yup, I'm the father.
409
00:17:33,566 --> 00:17:36,043
And I thought she was just
using me for a beard.
410
00:17:43,017 --> 00:17:44,885
I'm so sorry, Abe.
411
00:17:44,886 --> 00:17:47,187
Well, I just want to say...
412
00:17:47,188 --> 00:17:49,415
Yes! I can't raise my left arm,
413
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,558
much less a child!
414
00:17:51,559 --> 00:17:55,254
Yippee! Not having kids keeps you young!
415
00:17:55,255 --> 00:17:57,939
Oh, I knew you'd come back!
416
00:18:04,806 --> 00:18:06,490
- Kirk.
- Homer.
417
00:18:06,491 --> 00:18:08,267
- Dad.
- Fat Ass.
418
00:18:08,268 --> 00:18:10,210
That is not my name!
419
00:18:10,211 --> 00:18:11,812
Mm, mm, mm!
420
00:18:11,813 --> 00:18:13,288
Let's roll.
421
00:18:16,376 --> 00:18:18,343
Can't let 'em catch us.
422
00:18:28,889 --> 00:18:30,689
I can't take the pressure!
423
00:18:34,269 --> 00:18:35,669
Son, I'm so sorry!
424
00:18:35,670 --> 00:18:37,671
I'm getting rid of this stupid stop sign
425
00:18:37,672 --> 00:18:39,731
before it hurts somebody else!
426
00:18:44,913 --> 00:18:46,613
I'm sorry, too, Dad.
427
00:18:46,614 --> 00:18:48,198
You called me Dad!
428
00:18:48,199 --> 00:18:49,917
There's a first time for everything.
429
00:18:49,918 --> 00:18:51,685
Also, a last.
430
00:18:51,686 --> 00:18:54,980
Milhouse, I'd be lying if I
said riding in a go-cart
431
00:18:54,981 --> 00:18:57,983
with Bart Simpson wasn't
the highlight of my life,
432
00:18:57,984 --> 00:19:00,527
but you're my son and I love you.
433
00:19:00,528 --> 00:19:02,362
I love you, too, Dad.
434
00:19:02,363 --> 00:19:04,990
You're my favorite guy
that Mom's brought home.
435
00:19:04,991 --> 00:19:06,383
Aw...
436
00:19:06,384 --> 00:19:08,643
Last one home is a rotten father!
437
00:19:09,847 --> 00:19:11,805
Those aren't yours to keep!
438
00:19:11,806 --> 00:19:14,500
They take them out of our pay!
439
00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:16,894
We'll bring them back
when we get tired of them!
440
00:19:16,895 --> 00:19:19,187
Oh, that never happens.
441
00:19:21,358 --> 00:19:23,784
But, Chief, I... I don't
think those vehicles
442
00:19:23,785 --> 00:19:26,119
are certified for highway use.
443
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:28,155
Yeah, well, I don't
think you're certified
444
00:19:28,156 --> 00:19:30,991
to understand the relationship
between a father and son, Lou.
445
00:19:30,992 --> 00:19:33,765
Yeah, well, I have a son...
He lives in Baltimore.
446
00:19:33,766 --> 00:19:35,580
What do you want, a parade, Lou?
447
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,188
Listen, Maggie... Can
I call you Maggie?...
448
00:19:38,189 --> 00:19:42,025
Is there a way I can get you
to put that pacifier down?
449
00:19:42,026 --> 00:19:43,559
Oh, don't worry.
450
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,336
I'll be here as long as it takes.
451
00:19:46,672 --> 00:19:48,497
You know, if you cooperate,
452
00:19:48,498 --> 00:19:51,842
I can talk to your mother
about a reduced time out.
453
00:19:53,379 --> 00:19:54,920
Look, you wanted a helicopter,
454
00:19:54,921 --> 00:19:56,714
I got you a helicopter.
455
00:19:59,385 --> 00:20:02,369
Okay, I've got your nose, and if
you want to see your nose again,
456
00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:04,580
you'll give me that pacifier!
457
00:20:15,383 --> 00:20:17,102
Swing and a miss! Strike two.
458
00:20:17,103 --> 00:20:19,363
Sanchez batting .269.
459
00:20:19,364 --> 00:20:22,047
Fun fact: His father was one
of those soccer players
460
00:20:22,048 --> 00:20:24,683
who ate his teammate
after a plane crashed
461
00:20:24,684 --> 00:20:25,332
in the Andes.
462
00:20:25,333 --> 00:20:27,191
Look at him bite at the high fastball.
463
00:20:27,192 --> 00:20:31,192
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
31574
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