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1
00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:27,430
I loved her more than anything
on the face of the earth.
2
00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:32,140
I fell like a stone first time I saw her.
She fell just as hard.
3
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,940
The only difference was,
she knew why.
4
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,780
Kristy was my mate for life.
5
00:02:38,990 --> 00:02:43,700
Kristen Bainbridge. That was her name.
Now she has my name, Briggs.
6
00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:46,700
We're Mr and Mrs Jefferson Briggs,
7
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,960
but everybody calls me Jake.
8
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:51,210
Except my grandmother.
9
00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:53,660
She calls me Booper.
10
00:02:54,010 --> 00:02:57,510
He's too young and he's too immature.
11
00:02:58,550 --> 00:03:00,590
She's a gold digger.
12
00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:03,890
There's little or no gold to be dug.
13
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:06,810
He's plenty old.
14
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,890
And people don't mature any more.
15
00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:13,030
They stay jackasses all their lives.
16
00:03:14,650 --> 00:03:19,480
There's a strong streak of rationality
among the males in the family.
17
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,370
It's the women
who keep things electrified.
18
00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:30,040
- Can you put a smile on your face?
- Give me something to smile about.
19
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:34,040
Russ and Gayle Bainbridge,
my in-laws,
20
00:03:34,260 --> 00:03:38,040
people that, one day,
I would call Mom and Dad.
21
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:42,180
I'll lay you two bits
that little pea-brain will be late.
22
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,010
Don't be silly.
23
00:03:45,230 --> 00:03:48,680
You wouldn't let me throw him out
when I had the chance.
24
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:52,150
Now the little SOB
is going to be a goddamn relative.
25
00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:57,030
This is what Kristy wants.
Don't spoil it for her.
26
00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,490
- Why?
- She's in love.
27
00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:06,160
You can't expect to be foremost
in her mind. It's time we let go of her.
28
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:12,250
Try to find the beauty
in the way she feels about Jake.
29
00:04:15,090 --> 00:04:17,630
Oh, for God's sake.
30
00:04:24,730 --> 00:04:29,770
All right, where in the sweet name
of Christ is that little asshole?
31
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,480
That's me, the groom,
32
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:37,690
about to charge headlong
into the jaws of responsibility.
33
00:04:37,950 --> 00:04:39,530
What am I doing?
34
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,610
That's Davis McDonald, my best
friend. He was my unsanctioned wife.
35
00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:48,250
We got divorced
when I married Kristy. He liked her.
36
00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:51,000
He may have even loved her.
37
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,420
Are you scared?
38
00:04:57,010 --> 00:04:59,050
Here I am...
39
00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:03,970
I'm on the verge
of binding my life to Kristy's...
40
00:05:05,770 --> 00:05:08,390
...and I've never felt so alone.
41
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:12,640
We could split.
42
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:15,820
But you'd be back tomorrow.
43
00:05:16,030 --> 00:05:20,900
You were married the minute you met
her. 16 years old and you were gone.
44
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,880
This is your destiny.
45
00:05:36,090 --> 00:05:41,330
To be forever caught in the crossfire
between your head and your heart.
46
00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:49,810
Do you... Do you think I'm going
to be happy, I mean, honestly?
47
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,820
You want to be a writer.
You want to be a husband.
48
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,230
Maybe it'll work out.
Who knows?
49
00:06:01,530 --> 00:06:03,940
Yeah, you'll be happy.
50
00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:08,580
You just won't know it, that's all.
51
00:06:09,210 --> 00:06:14,330
Never before or again did he nail a
moment more firmly than that afternoon.
52
00:06:14,550 --> 00:06:16,590
He's not all that wise,
53
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:21,130
he just knew his subject matter
very, very well.
54
00:06:23,010 --> 00:06:25,220
I won't say this again.
55
00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:29,300
You don't have to go through with this.
You can walk.
56
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,230
Say the word
and we are out of here.
57
00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:40,150
Marriage will wait.
58
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,280
Time won't.
59
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:52,250
Jake!
60
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,980
Shit!
61
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,310
Let us all join
in the Lord's Prayer.
62
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,900
Our Father,
Who art in heaven,
63
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,070
Hallowed be Thy name,
64
00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:28,290
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done
65
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,620
On earth as it is in heaven.
66
00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:33,590
Give us this day our daily bread
67
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,710
- And forgive us our trespasses...
- Amen.
68
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,410
...as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
69
00:07:39,630 --> 00:07:41,710
Lead us not into temptation,
70
00:07:41,930 --> 00:07:43,970
But deliver us from evil,
71
00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:48,130
For Thine is the kingdom,
The power and the glory
72
00:07:48,350 --> 00:07:49,810
For ever and ever.
Amen.
73
00:07:54,020 --> 00:07:56,020
As these two have come hither
74
00:07:56,230 --> 00:08:01,530
to be made one in this holy estate,
if there be anyone here present
75
00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:05,790
who knows any just cause
why they may not lawfully be married,
76
00:08:05,990 --> 00:08:08,280
I require him to make it known
77
00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:11,580
or ever after hold his peace.
78
00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:19,960
Kristen, wilt thou have this man
to be thy husband,
79
00:08:20,890 --> 00:08:25,260
and wilt thou pledge thy troth to him
in all love and honour,
80
00:08:25,810 --> 00:08:28,100
in all duty and service,
81
00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:30,980
in all faith and tenderness;
82
00:08:31,190 --> 00:08:35,900
to live with him and cherish him
according to the ordinance of God
83
00:08:36,110 --> 00:08:39,310
- in the holy bond of marriage?
- I will.
84
00:08:41,110 --> 00:08:44,450
Wilt thou, Jefferson, have this woman
to be thy wedded wife?
85
00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:48,240
Wilt thou comfort and keep her
in sickness and in health...
86
00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:50,490
Wilt thou provide her
with credit cards
87
00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:55,450
and a 4-bedroom, 2½ bath home with
central air and professional decorating?
88
00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:59,210
A Mercedes Benz, two weeks
in the Bahamas every spring?
89
00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:01,920
Wilt thou remember the little things
90
00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:06,380
like flowers on her anniversary,
a kind word on a rough day,
91
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:11,390
and an occasional
"Gee, honey, you look pretty today"?
92
00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:16,310
Wilt thou be understanding when
she is tired, headachy or upset?
93
00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:20,230
When she feels ugly
or has a big pimple on her chin?
94
00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:22,690
Wilt thou not be such a pig
when you shower?
95
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:27,400
Wilt thou listen patiently to stories
about kids, colds, clothes, shoes
96
00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:29,660
and decorator chequebook covers?
97
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:36,130
I will.
98
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:43,460
For as much as Kristen and Jefferson
have consented together in holy wedlock,
99
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:47,300
and have witnessed the same
before God and this company,
100
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:51,600
by the joining of hands and
the giving and exchanging of rings,
101
00:09:51,810 --> 00:09:54,810
I pronounce
that they are husband and wife,
102
00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:58,140
whom therefore
God hath joined together,
103
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,200
let no man put asunder.
104
00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:04,190
You may now kiss the bride.
105
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,120
But don't mess up
her hair or her face
106
00:10:15,340 --> 00:10:19,040
because she still has
to have her picture taken.
107
00:10:25,390 --> 00:10:27,460
Go for it.
108
00:10:55,630 --> 00:10:59,290
I had graduated college
and, for reasons not clear to us,
109
00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:02,630
we decided I should pursue
my master's degree.
110
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:07,420
Kristy had her degree and insisted I
get mine before she began her career.
111
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:11,470
There wasn't time for the Bahamas,
or even Niagara Falls.
112
00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:16,760
We spent our honeymoon on an
interstate highway to New Mexico.
113
00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:21,680
Kristy, back and forth and
back and forth and back and forth.
114
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:24,150
Babe, I got it.
115
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:34,160
Babe, you're wrinkling up
all of the central states. I see it.
116
00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:37,870
I'm not...
The world's biggest bow tie.
117
00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:49,340
Our first address.
Not pretty, but cheap.
118
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,380
And happy. Sort of.
119
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:07,860
- You don't like fish?
- I love fish.
120
00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:13,320
- If you loved it, you'd eat it.
- No, I honestly love it.
121
00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:18,700
It's just a little overwhelming
to have swordfish and...
122
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,460
Trout.
123
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:28,640
- And over here?
- Grouper. It's grouper.
124
00:12:28,850 --> 00:12:30,670
It's grouper.
125
00:12:31,390 --> 00:12:34,840
- The fries are good.
- That's breaded smelt.
126
00:12:35,060 --> 00:12:37,190
What are you doing?
127
00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:41,690
I didn't know what you liked. I'm trying
to make you happy and you mock me.
128
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:44,110
Kristy, come on.
129
00:12:45,870 --> 00:12:47,240
Jake...
130
00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:53,620
I have to do something with myself.
I have to get a job or take classes.
131
00:12:53,830 --> 00:12:56,920
You'll weigh 400lbs. I'm not mad.
I don't like fish, either.
132
00:12:57,130 --> 00:13:02,420
You don't need to get a job.
You don't need to take classes.
133
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,890
- I got to get out of here.
- Don't start that!
134
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:13,600
Come on. College is like
high school with ashtrays.
135
00:13:13,810 --> 00:13:17,810
- I don't know where I'm going.
- You have two more years.
136
00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:21,690
It doesn't matter if you don't know
where you're going now.
137
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:26,810
I learnt nothing as an undergraduate.
I'm learning less in graduate school.
138
00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:29,610
Davis started his own business.
139
00:13:29,830 --> 00:13:33,990
Yeah, with his dad's money.
I don't think you'd do that.
140
00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:38,040
At least his life has begun.
Mine is on indefinite hold.
141
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:45,000
- You really want to leave?
- I can't think of any reason to stay.
142
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:49,710
Jefferson, can you tell Grandpa
143
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:54,010
why Bumble Bunny
was such a happy little rabbit?
144
00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:58,770
- Because he went to college.
- Boy, are you a smart little fellow!
145
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:02,350
- And what did he get in college?
- A master's degree.
146
00:14:02,570 --> 00:14:06,650
A master's degree.
What would have happened to him
147
00:14:06,870 --> 00:14:11,080
if he hadn't gone to college
and gotten that master's degree?
148
00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:16,030
Probably end up working on a loading
dock and hating every minute of it.
149
00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:20,380
You're going to college to get
a master's degree, aren't you?
150
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:21,830
Yes, sir.
151
00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:26,180
Then you'll never end up working
on a loading dock, no sir!
152
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,760
College boy!
153
00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:37,350
- Morty, how about those Cubs?
- Shut up!
154
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:43,610
Morty, did you catch
that PBS special last night,
155
00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:46,940
- "Animals of the Australian..."
- Shut up!
156
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:50,240
- Shut up!
- I didn't say anything.
157
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:56,080
I think a man can judge
his success or failure
158
00:14:56,290 --> 00:14:59,910
by the amount of overtime
his wife works, eh, Jake?
159
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:03,050
I don't work late
because we need the money.
160
00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:05,830
- We don't. We're fine.
- That's true, Russ.
161
00:15:06,050 --> 00:15:08,040
What do you know?
162
00:15:08,260 --> 00:15:13,090
Did we really raise her to answer
telephones and live in a shoe box?
163
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:18,930
- We didn't come here to get insulted.
- Oh, is he above criticism?
164
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:24,020
Jake, Kristy says you're uncomfortable
calling us Mom and Dad.
165
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:29,530
- Why don't you call us by our...
- Gayle, will you please...!
166
00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:31,780
...names?
167
00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:39,660
If you're going to piss your life away
writing some goddamn book
168
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,160
that nobody is ever
going to give a crap about,
169
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:45,920
why did you involve
my daughter?
170
00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:48,970
If she gets pregnant,
what will you do?
171
00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:51,630
Three can't live on what you make.
172
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:55,930
Two can't live on what you make.
173
00:16:03,570 --> 00:16:05,610
Kristy...
174
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,650
Is the baby warm enough?
175
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:14,370
We're fine.
Sweetie, don't burn your book.
176
00:16:15,330 --> 00:16:17,870
Maybe we can get some wood.
177
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,290
Wood's expensive.
178
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,790
Words are cheap.
179
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:35,560
- What are you thinking about?
- Nothing.
180
00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:38,760
My mom and I
got my dad to admit he was rude.
181
00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:42,020
Do you want to come in?
He went to bed.
182
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,100
He wasn't entirely wrong, you know.
183
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,150
If you weren't working,
we'd be broke.
184
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,820
So I am working and we're not.
185
00:16:51,870 --> 00:16:54,540
But you're married to a child.
186
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,040
I've got a job
and I don't even know what I do.
187
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:03,300
- So what should you do?
- The question is, what can I do?
188
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:07,830
Sweetheart, you have
a BA in Romance Languages.
189
00:17:08,550 --> 00:17:11,510
- What was your minor?
- Elizabethan Poetry.
190
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,390
Well, what skills do you have?
191
00:17:15,230 --> 00:17:17,890
OK... Let's see.
192
00:17:29,490 --> 00:17:30,900
Jefferson Briggs.
193
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:36,950
- Call you Jeff?
- It's Jake.
194
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:42,160
Or Jeff.
195
00:17:42,380 --> 00:17:45,960
Says here you worked for
a Japanese advertising agency.
196
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,130
Netsu.
197
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,970
- Netsu?
- Netsu.
198
00:17:53,430 --> 00:17:57,970
Well, Netsu is one
of our foreign subsidiaries.
199
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,720
Hey, we own that.
200
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:05,440
There are thousands
of advertising agencies
201
00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:08,990
and you chose one we own.
That was a bad call.
202
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,240
You're full of crap, aren't you?
203
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:17,040
Yeah.
204
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:20,160
After this Netsu thing,
I got curious,
205
00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:23,040
so I checked out
the rest of your résumé.
206
00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:27,380
And, aside from
your social security number...
207
00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:34,300
...there isn't one piece of information
in there that is true.
208
00:18:34,510 --> 00:18:39,680
You have set new standards
for lying in the job market.
209
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:47,400
There's no question you can write. And
coming here with a whopper like this...
210
00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:51,310
You must want to work pretty bad.
211
00:18:52,990 --> 00:18:54,900
I need to work.
212
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:58,990
- Can you make something of yourself?
- I think I can.
213
00:18:59,370 --> 00:19:02,990
How do you feel about slave wages?
214
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:09,380
- Slave wages are fine.
- How do you feel about alcoholics?
215
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:14,050
I like alcoholics?
216
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:18,590
I got the job.
We celebrated with Chinese food.
217
00:19:18,810 --> 00:19:23,350
And Kristy bought me two suits,
six ties and a commuter rail pass.
218
00:19:23,570 --> 00:19:25,770
I was being paid to write.
219
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:29,980
Not novels, ads. People
were taking notice of my ability.
220
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:34,490
There was something fresh in the
way I wrote about disposable diapers.
221
00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:39,700
I was meeting my obligations
to the life we were making.
222
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:43,410
There was finally
a future in my future.
223
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:50,010
So why did I feel
like the world was closing in on me?
224
00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:55,220
Now I had a real job and
Kristy was moving up in her company,
225
00:19:55,430 --> 00:19:59,970
we could buy a three-bedroom
mortgage with two baths.
226
00:20:02,610 --> 00:20:05,310
My mother offered
to buy us a couch.
227
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,530
I don't know
why you turned her down.
228
00:20:10,070 --> 00:20:13,320
Two reasons.
First, she wanted to pick it
229
00:20:13,530 --> 00:20:17,660
and therefore make sure
I decorate the house to her taste.
230
00:20:17,870 --> 00:20:22,660
Second, if she bought one, she'd want
to come over all the time and admire it.
231
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:27,290
- Would that be so terrible?
- Let's not fight.
232
00:20:27,510 --> 00:20:29,790
- Who's fighting?
- You're getting ready.
233
00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:33,420
- No. You made the nasty remark.
- Not nasty, true.
234
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,510
What did she say
when she came here?
235
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,800
That they liked the place.
236
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:41,590
- To you. And to me?
- I don't remember.
237
00:20:41,810 --> 00:20:46,110
"It's amazing how little
your housing dollar buys today."
238
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:50,480
Kristy, she was merely stating
a simple economic fact.
239
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:54,280
Every time family comes up, we fight,
so why don't we drop it?
240
00:20:54,490 --> 00:20:58,490
Well, I can handle it. You can't.
That's what's bothering you.
241
00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:02,780
We'll have our own family.
Your family and mine don't matter.
242
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,330
Well, I would like
to have my family over once.
243
00:21:06,550 --> 00:21:09,830
They were over once.
They'll be over again.
244
00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:14,210
Nothing you say will change the fact
they are my flesh and blood.
245
00:21:14,430 --> 00:21:17,760
If they're your flesh and blood,
what am I?
246
00:21:17,970 --> 00:21:20,550
You're my wife,
not my flesh and blood.
247
00:21:21,190 --> 00:21:23,430
Why not move in with them, then?
248
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:28,140
You share flesh and blood. With me,
it's just gold bands and bath towels.
249
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:33,480
- That's not what I meant.
- They're your flesh and blood. I'm not.
250
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:39,160
- I'm just the asshole who married you.
- Do you mean that?
251
00:21:40,540 --> 00:21:43,490
- No.
- This is ridiculous.
252
00:21:43,710 --> 00:21:46,790
Very.
I'll see you later.
253
00:21:49,970 --> 00:21:53,800
You didn't put the end table
on the end of anything.
254
00:21:59,140 --> 00:22:03,190
The job, the house, the furniture,
the fights, those were symptoms.
255
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,520
The disease was growing up
256
00:22:05,730 --> 00:22:09,680
and it was happening
faster than I'd imagined possible.
257
00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:15,150
I'd thought I might be the mythical
immortal one, the true Peter Pan.
258
00:22:15,370 --> 00:22:17,820
I was sorely mistaken.
259
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,040
We can't afford this.
260
00:22:36,220 --> 00:22:38,260
Goodbye.
261
00:22:45,730 --> 00:22:47,770
I'll miss you.
262
00:23:32,740 --> 00:23:35,900
- He's going to burn them!
- Cynthia, he's going to burn them.
263
00:23:36,410 --> 00:23:38,480
Gregory, put that down!
264
00:23:39,410 --> 00:23:42,080
You know what I like about you,
Briggsie?
265
00:23:42,290 --> 00:23:46,070
- I can't imagine.
- Your wife and your lawnmower.
266
00:23:47,630 --> 00:23:51,630
I've seen your wife.
What kind of mower you got, Briggsie?
267
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,130
It's... the kind
you don't have to push.
268
00:23:54,340 --> 00:23:58,970
But you do it standing up.
A power mower.
269
00:23:59,180 --> 00:24:01,140
What brand?
270
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:09,140
I've got to be honest with you.
It was a gift and I never looked.
271
00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:12,030
Wait a minute.
You don't know?
272
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,520
When you got it,
didn't any specs come with it?
273
00:24:15,740 --> 00:24:17,700
How can you not know?
274
00:24:17,910 --> 00:24:21,160
You've got a Big Yard King 410.
Remember that.
275
00:24:21,370 --> 00:24:25,070
- A Yard King 410.
- The 410 is shit. I like the old 380.
276
00:24:25,290 --> 00:24:27,660
You're crazy!
The grass catcher on a 410
277
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:31,250
has a third more
capacity than a 380.
278
00:24:31,460 --> 00:24:36,260
It doesn't matter how much cubic feet
of horseshit you can get in it.
279
00:24:36,470 --> 00:24:39,260
The 410's got a plastic flywheel.
280
00:24:39,470 --> 00:24:42,640
You'll have a major lawsuit
on your hands.
281
00:24:42,850 --> 00:24:47,730
The government won't buy 410s because
of the danger of the plastic flywheel.
282
00:24:47,940 --> 00:24:49,980
Put that down!
283
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:57,440
- Where do you work?
- I'm a research analyst at Comtex.
284
00:24:57,660 --> 00:25:01,950
Ha! I win! Lynn bet me a box
of Pop Tarts that you were a lawyer.
285
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,120
Every career woman
who moves into this neighbourhood
286
00:25:05,330 --> 00:25:08,250
brings something
nobody's ever heard of.
287
00:25:08,460 --> 00:25:12,410
What did Sheila Walker-Reynolds
make last year?
288
00:25:12,630 --> 00:25:17,010
It was red...
Goat cheese ravioli.
289
00:25:17,220 --> 00:25:20,010
- No, that wasn't it.
- It certainly was.
290
00:25:20,220 --> 00:25:22,260
Hank asked her,
she told him,
291
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,470
then he spat it out and
the Thackerays' dog got hold of it.
292
00:25:26,690 --> 00:25:30,820
I'll give you a piece of philosophy.
Wives are like lawnmowers.
293
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:34,890
Fancy ones wear out fast.
Good solid ones last a lifetime.
294
00:25:35,110 --> 00:25:37,860
This man goes through
two hoses a season.
295
00:25:38,070 --> 00:25:41,910
My point is still valid.
I'm not married to my hose.
296
00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:44,410
Good.
You'd be on your 18th wife.
297
00:25:44,620 --> 00:25:48,490
There's some humour for you.
That is supposed to be humour.
298
00:25:48,710 --> 00:25:51,330
He buys the cheap crap
you can't roll up
299
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:54,500
and the sun beats down
and heats the water up.
300
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,840
Then, when he washes his dog,
he scalds the shit out of it.
301
00:26:00,310 --> 00:26:03,640
- Hank's washing his dog again!
- It happened once.
302
00:26:03,850 --> 00:26:06,310
- Twice.
- You can't count!
303
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,890
- I've got to check on something.
- It's something I said.
304
00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:13,730
Hey, Briggsie!
Let me ask you a question.
305
00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:17,190
What do you do up in that room
at night?
306
00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:20,690
I've seen you.
Your hands are doing weird things.
307
00:26:20,910 --> 00:26:25,040
- I'm writing a book.
- A book?
308
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:28,170
It was Scooter Albert
that ate the balloon.
309
00:26:28,380 --> 00:26:31,380
The little cross-eyed boy
with the impetigo.
310
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:35,420
Was he the one who drew the boobies
on Heather's doll?
311
00:26:35,630 --> 00:26:38,300
- No, he was...
- Will you excuse me?
312
00:26:38,510 --> 00:26:40,500
Oh, yeah.
313
00:26:43,810 --> 00:26:48,100
Listen, if your wife was
in as good condition as his is,
314
00:26:48,310 --> 00:26:50,690
would you be up all night
writing a book?
315
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:54,310
- Look at them.
- What are they talking about?
316
00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:56,900
Three guesses.
317
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,700
Ken!
318
00:27:02,950 --> 00:27:05,910
- Ken, I'm talking to you.
- Yo!
319
00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:09,080
Would you bring the picnic table
around?
320
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,540
- Go on. You're up.
- Hank! Help him!
321
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,910
He can do it himself.
322
00:27:16,130 --> 00:27:19,170
You haven't done a thing
to get ready for this.
323
00:27:19,390 --> 00:27:21,960
I did.
I washed the dog, didn't I?
324
00:27:22,180 --> 00:27:24,220
You burned the dog!
325
00:28:01,350 --> 00:28:03,920
You've got to come to New York
some time.
326
00:28:04,140 --> 00:28:08,220
I know. I've tried to convince Kristy.
I really want to.
327
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:12,770
- I mean, it makes Chicago look like...
- Chicago.
328
00:28:18,070 --> 00:28:20,780
- Do you work, Erin?
- She models.
329
00:28:20,990 --> 00:28:23,950
- Oh, really?
- I just did a video.
330
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,610
- Are you in a band? Or...?
- No, I'm not in a band!
331
00:28:27,830 --> 00:28:31,620
- What do you do?
- Give me your glass.
332
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,960
- Sure. It's diet. Is that OK?
- Figures.
333
00:28:47,270 --> 00:28:49,310
That's great.
334
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:53,730
That's terrific.
That's really, really good.
335
00:28:54,900 --> 00:29:00,940
It's just running in clubs right now.
MTV rejected it because of the nudity.
336
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,320
- You're kidding?
- No.
337
00:29:03,540 --> 00:29:06,450
It's ridiculous.
That is ridiculous.
338
00:29:06,660 --> 00:29:11,120
Big deal. I'm wearing a fucking
g-string. I didn't even bend over.
339
00:29:11,330 --> 00:29:16,500
That's not that controversial if you
didn't bend over. I mean, that's not...
340
00:29:20,180 --> 00:29:24,510
How long have you been married?
I mean, you are married, right?
341
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:28,510
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
Got the band of gold.
342
00:29:29,940 --> 00:29:31,850
It's, er...
343
00:29:32,060 --> 00:29:34,850
- Two years, babe.
- Two years.
344
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:43,200
- How long are you staying in town?
- A few days.
345
00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:48,070
Erin's mother died last night,
so we're doing the funeral...
346
00:29:48,290 --> 00:29:50,120
...bullshit.
- That whole scene.
347
00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:55,540
Yeah, Davis made me come. I think
he misses Chicago, if that's possible.
348
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,800
You see, I'm a New Yorker.
349
00:29:58,010 --> 00:30:01,170
- I hate everyplace else.
- I know what you mean.
350
00:30:01,390 --> 00:30:04,260
I can take LA.
I won't puke if I'm in LA.
351
00:30:04,470 --> 00:30:07,720
- Yeah, LA is nice.
- We've never been to LA.
352
00:30:07,930 --> 00:30:11,140
Of course, we've never been,
but I hear it's nice.
353
00:30:11,730 --> 00:30:15,270
- Yeah, right.
- I'm so sorry about your mother, Erin.
354
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,190
You and Neiman Marcus.
355
00:30:22,490 --> 00:30:26,790
- Are you staying with family?
- We're at the Ritz-Carlton.
356
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,570
Tragic error coming up.
Ready?
357
00:30:29,790 --> 00:30:33,370
One, two, three...
358
00:30:34,590 --> 00:30:39,410
A hotel? Don't be silly.
Why don't you stay here?
359
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,000
- What?
- What do you mean, "what"?
360
00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:49,930
Am I supposed to make
my best friend stay in a hotel?
361
00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:55,930
Best friend, my ass! In two years,
he's turned into a complete jerk.
362
00:30:56,150 --> 00:30:58,060
- Excuse me?
- You heard.
363
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,610
- And his girlfriend is nauseating.
- Nauseating?
364
00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:05,870
Her mother died last night,
but she didn't want to come.
365
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:10,410
- She models nude in videos.
- Not nude. She was wearing a g-thing.
366
00:31:10,620 --> 00:31:14,370
- It probably wasn't a video.
- Maybe her mother wasn't very nice.
367
00:31:14,590 --> 00:31:17,500
I don't care.
That bitch has no feelings
368
00:31:17,710 --> 00:31:21,250
and it makes me sick
she's sleeping in our house.
369
00:31:21,470 --> 00:31:24,040
I'll have to burn the sheets!
370
00:31:24,260 --> 00:31:27,350
What if the shoe
was on the other foot?
371
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,600
I'd go barefoot!
372
00:31:29,810 --> 00:31:33,140
- Don't give me that righteous pose.
- Move!
373
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,150
- What?
- Move!
374
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,730
What do you want me to do?
Throw them out in the snow?
375
00:31:38,940 --> 00:31:40,690
- Yes.
- You'd like that?
376
00:31:40,910 --> 00:31:42,570
- Yes.
- Forget it!
377
00:31:42,780 --> 00:31:45,150
- You're not sleeping in this bed.
- Really?
378
00:31:45,370 --> 00:31:47,690
Anywhere but this room
or this bed.
379
00:31:47,910 --> 00:31:51,030
Isn't it embarrassing
to have Davis know we're fighting?
380
00:31:51,250 --> 00:31:54,910
- Not to me.
- OK, fine, forget it. Forget it!
381
00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:01,010
But if he asks,
I'm telling him everything.
382
00:32:01,220 --> 00:32:05,350
Don't forget to tell him
how I feel about his girlfriend!
383
00:32:05,810 --> 00:32:08,810
She's got some lungs
when she wants them, huh?
384
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:12,060
Oh, jerk!
385
00:32:19,190 --> 00:32:22,440
I never thought
this was where you'd end up.
386
00:32:22,660 --> 00:32:27,230
- I like it here.
- Let me tell you something, pal.
387
00:32:27,450 --> 00:32:29,940
You want to write,
move to New York.
388
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:34,110
Here, nothing happens to write about.
I'm just being honest.
389
00:32:34,330 --> 00:32:38,250
I see you dead in the water, face down.
You are rotting.
390
00:32:38,460 --> 00:32:40,750
What is this?
391
00:32:40,970 --> 00:32:44,880
Give me that.
That's my porcelain udder buddy.
392
00:32:45,970 --> 00:32:49,510
- It's a dairy dispenser.
- Delightful.
393
00:32:49,730 --> 00:32:53,390
You've just arrived.
How do you know how I am?
394
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:57,600
Look at the way that you live.
It's boring, it's torpid.
395
00:32:57,820 --> 00:33:01,650
I mean, my God, "Ho, ho, ho,
cocktails and mistletoe."
396
00:33:01,860 --> 00:33:05,310
Yeah. Let's just bop on
over to Walt and Shirley's
397
00:33:05,530 --> 00:33:08,490
- for egg-nog and a yule log.
- Wiseass!
398
00:33:08,700 --> 00:33:12,200
- You believe in this!
- Should I live like you?
399
00:33:12,420 --> 00:33:14,290
- Yes.
- I can't.
400
00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:17,830
- Why not?
- You live for yourself. I don't.
401
00:33:18,050 --> 00:33:20,290
I have Kristy.
402
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,290
- You want some more truth?
- No.
403
00:33:27,510 --> 00:33:33,550
Too bad. It's rude and it's wrong,
but it's right on the money.
404
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,890
She's holding you back, man.
405
00:33:38,110 --> 00:33:42,400
You're a drowning man
and she is an anchor around your neck.
406
00:33:42,610 --> 00:33:45,980
- She is making all the choices.
- No, that's not...
407
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,240
- Yes!
- No.
408
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:53,160
I love Kristy.
She's the sweetest girl in the world.
409
00:33:54,250 --> 00:33:57,250
She doesn't have
a mean bone in her body.
410
00:33:58,460 --> 00:34:02,960
But I love you like a brother,
and you know that.
411
00:34:05,050 --> 00:34:09,180
And this hurts like hell to say,
and maybe I'm wrong...
412
00:34:11,850 --> 00:34:13,890
...but I miss you.
413
00:34:15,020 --> 00:34:17,060
I miss you very much.
414
00:34:21,820 --> 00:34:24,660
I miss our friendship.
415
00:34:24,860 --> 00:34:26,770
Very much.
416
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,000
Kiss me.
417
00:34:40,550 --> 00:34:43,710
Hey, remember what I said, though.
418
00:34:44,510 --> 00:34:47,130
- What about Erin?
- What about Erin?
419
00:34:47,350 --> 00:34:52,720
- Don't you have any feelings for her?
- No, and I hope she has none for me.
420
00:34:52,940 --> 00:34:55,850
You don't have to
to go to bed with somebody,
421
00:34:56,060 --> 00:35:01,350
and the fact you mention it indicates
how parochial you've become.
422
00:35:01,570 --> 00:35:06,910
I don't think there's anything
parochial about a man loving a woman.
423
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:12,160
Save that for the Broadway show lyrics.
It's nothing to live your life by.
424
00:35:12,370 --> 00:35:17,830
I'm very disappointed in you, Jake.
You should be doing more than this.
425
00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:21,670
- I'm doing just fine.
- You can think that.
426
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:26,050
I do. There's more
to life than getting laid.
427
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:32,430
You can think that, too.
428
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:34,700
I love this place.
This is great.
429
00:36:34,910 --> 00:36:38,030
Can you believe it, $3 for a beer?
430
00:36:38,250 --> 00:36:41,120
I paid $3.
I love that. It's great.
431
00:38:13,100 --> 00:38:16,270
Be right back, OK?
You'll wait right here?
432
00:39:03,610 --> 00:39:05,650
Enjoying the music?
433
00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:13,570
I'm sorry. The ladies' room was too
crowded. You don't mind, do you?
434
00:39:13,790 --> 00:39:15,330
No, no, not at all.
435
00:39:34,220 --> 00:39:37,470
- Do you come here a lot?
- A lot?
436
00:39:37,690 --> 00:39:40,220
I don't know if you'd say a lot.
Twice tonight.
437
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:44,060
But, you know, I had coffee earlier,
then a beer.
438
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,600
I meant the place.
The club.
439
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,110
Ciao.
440
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:10,500
Hi, Lefty.
How's the neighbourhood gigolo?
441
00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:16,720
Well, Lefty boy,
about this Valerie Blake.
442
00:40:16,930 --> 00:40:19,470
Is she, you know...?
443
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:42,880
Kristy.
444
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,540
Did you hear that?
Kris?
445
00:40:52,300 --> 00:40:54,340
Oh, my God.
446
00:41:54,910 --> 00:41:56,950
Hello, Jake.
447
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,710
Is it all right that I came in?
448
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,750
- How did you find me?
- I've been watching you.
449
00:42:10,590 --> 00:42:14,970
You must know, I don't make a habit
of walking into people's houses.
450
00:42:15,180 --> 00:42:17,090
It's OK.
451
00:42:21,350 --> 00:42:23,390
You're frightened.
452
00:42:26,030 --> 00:42:28,780
I don't know.
I...
453
00:42:28,990 --> 00:42:34,190
I think I'm experiencing an emotion
that hasn't been defined yet.
454
00:42:36,950 --> 00:42:39,660
The more I try to explain to you why
455
00:42:39,870 --> 00:42:42,830
and how I came to be here...
456
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,750
...the less we'd both understand it.
- Probably.
457
00:42:49,130 --> 00:42:55,380
I'll just say that I have a very deep
and certain feeling about you.
458
00:42:56,510 --> 00:43:00,510
- Do you believe in destiny?
- From now on, I will.
459
00:43:01,940 --> 00:43:03,980
We were meant to be.
460
00:43:04,190 --> 00:43:07,640
You've long felt
like something was missing.
461
00:43:07,860 --> 00:43:11,440
You were carrying with you a void.
I was born to fill it.
462
00:43:12,910 --> 00:43:14,950
We can't help it.
463
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:29,790
Our lives up to now have
been the prelude to this moment.
464
00:43:30,510 --> 00:43:35,550
Now it's happened, and
all that emptiness you felt is gone.
465
00:43:36,970 --> 00:43:40,140
It's not wrong.
No guilt.
466
00:43:40,350 --> 00:43:44,020
It's destiny.
You couldn't prevent it.
467
00:43:44,900 --> 00:43:48,520
No guilt, only pleasure.
468
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:55,690
You don't need anything else
for the rest of your life.
469
00:44:00,460 --> 00:44:03,660
- We have no choice?
- We have no choice.
470
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:08,000
We're destiny.
471
00:44:08,630 --> 00:44:11,670
Jake, you're dreaming again,
sweetie.
472
00:44:18,430 --> 00:44:21,430
Babe!
Babe, what happened?
473
00:44:22,140 --> 00:44:24,180
Bad dream.
474
00:44:25,860 --> 00:44:30,400
Why couldn't I accept who I was,
what I was and where I was?
475
00:44:30,610 --> 00:44:33,730
Why couldn't I be
like everyone else on the train?
476
00:44:33,950 --> 00:44:39,290
Were they mindless drones following
the scent of money to a senseless end?
477
00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:41,540
Or bearers of a great secret
478
00:44:41,750 --> 00:44:46,540
that allowed them to rejoice in this life
that I was so unwilling to embrace?
479
00:44:46,750 --> 00:44:49,750
And what was the deal
with that weird dream?
480
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:53,000
So many questions.
So few answers.
481
00:44:56,550 --> 00:45:00,010
17, 18. What's the big deal?
What do you expect?
482
00:45:00,230 --> 00:45:02,260
You've been here a year.
483
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:06,640
Five, ten years, you'll be cranking
this crap out in your sleep.
484
00:45:07,570 --> 00:45:11,180
I don't intend to be writing ads
ten years from now.
485
00:45:11,780 --> 00:45:15,310
- Oh, what? This is just temporary?
- Yeah, very.
486
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:21,070
I had the same feelings at your age.
I actually even quit once.
487
00:45:21,290 --> 00:45:23,700
- Did you?
- To write a book.
488
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,870
- Yeah?
- Yep.
489
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:28,960
And I built six birdhouses,
put on 20lb,
490
00:45:29,170 --> 00:45:31,460
watched 5,000 hours of TV,
491
00:45:31,670 --> 00:45:36,250
wrote a page and a half,
called Howard, got my old job back.
492
00:45:36,470 --> 00:45:40,140
Everybody tries it
and everybody comes back.
493
00:45:40,350 --> 00:45:42,670
The rare individual breaks out.
494
00:45:42,890 --> 00:45:47,190
But it's too infrequent to warrant
consideration. Forget it.
495
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:50,900
Well, you're looking
at the rare individual,
496
00:45:51,110 --> 00:45:53,150
because I'm busting out.
497
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:59,240
Listen. I measure my life
in degrees of happiness.
498
00:45:59,450 --> 00:46:04,160
I'm supporting my family
in a way that makes me happy.
499
00:46:04,620 --> 00:46:09,250
I've got a nice house.
I've got a real nice car.
500
00:46:09,460 --> 00:46:13,160
And, once a year,
I write an ad that I'm proud of.
501
00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:18,590
- And that's what you want?
- No, that's what I take.
502
00:46:18,810 --> 00:46:20,800
You never get what you want.
503
00:46:21,020 --> 00:46:25,180
The guys who jump off the bridge
on their 40th birthdays
504
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:29,310
are the ones who want
more than they will ever get.
505
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:32,900
- You depress the shit out of me.
- Yeah?
506
00:46:33,110 --> 00:46:35,190
Consider what I do to myself.
507
00:46:35,660 --> 00:46:38,940
He was my boss.
I secretly believed he was terrified
508
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:42,450
that I might make something of
myself outside the field.
509
00:46:42,660 --> 00:46:46,250
If I did, he'd be reminded
of his own failures.
510
00:46:46,460 --> 00:46:48,580
The last thing I needed
511
00:46:48,790 --> 00:46:52,960
was a 36-year-old manic depressive
begrudging me my youth.
512
00:46:53,170 --> 00:46:55,460
I was frightened enough
that it was evaporating.
513
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:59,130
Get used to it, pal.
It only gets worse.
514
00:47:12,690 --> 00:47:15,450
- Have you ever held a baby before?
- No.
515
00:47:15,660 --> 00:47:18,360
- Do you want to?
- Yes.
516
00:47:18,580 --> 00:47:20,620
Sit over here.
517
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,420
Kristy, over here right now.
518
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,600
Now.
No, not later, now. Sex now.
519
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:48,310
Babe, we're going to have sex now.
520
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,560
Can we have sex now?
521
00:47:50,780 --> 00:47:54,520
You want to mate with me?
You want to mate?
522
00:48:13,470 --> 00:48:16,500
Sorry, guys, take a hike.
523
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:36,780
Russ. What I'm going to do
to your daughter tonight...
524
00:49:19,490 --> 00:49:22,280
Kristy?
I'm going to sleep now, babe.
525
00:49:22,490 --> 00:49:25,990
So when you come in,
be careful not to wake me,
526
00:49:26,210 --> 00:49:28,830
because I'm really tired.
527
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:31,960
OK?
528
00:49:32,170 --> 00:49:35,340
I'm just...
I'm just dog tired.
529
00:49:36,430 --> 00:49:39,260
And I've got a big day tomorrow.
530
00:49:40,510 --> 00:49:45,010
One of the stupidest and least
effective methods of seducing a woman.
531
00:49:45,230 --> 00:49:48,810
The logic is that, by making myself
seem uninterested in sex,
532
00:49:49,020 --> 00:49:52,190
she'll be challenged.
It never worked.
533
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,440
But that was no reason
to stop trying.
534
00:51:24,450 --> 00:51:28,750
For the first time in our relationship,
she took the initiative.
535
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:32,370
Without warning,
the game had turned on the hunter.
536
00:51:32,590 --> 00:51:35,460
First thought: She was mistaking me
for someone else.
537
00:51:35,670 --> 00:51:38,380
Second thought: She'd started
drinking in the afternoons.
538
00:51:38,590 --> 00:51:41,630
Third and final thought:
She loved me.
539
00:51:41,850 --> 00:51:44,300
I missed the target,
but hit the tree.
540
00:52:38,450 --> 00:52:42,060
- Plastic flywheel!
- It's probably out of gas.
541
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:46,070
- You're out of gas!
- You see this? Perch on it.
542
00:52:46,290 --> 00:52:51,870
I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you
say bounces off me and sticks to you.
543
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:54,120
Stick this!
544
00:52:55,170 --> 00:52:58,340
- Up yours!
- Up yours, too!
545
00:53:11,810 --> 00:53:13,850
It's you and me.
546
00:53:15,230 --> 00:53:17,110
Ciao!
547
00:55:07,510 --> 00:55:09,760
Can I get anybody anything?
548
00:55:09,980 --> 00:55:13,640
Yeah. Dinner, missy. How about it?
Let's go.
549
00:55:43,430 --> 00:55:47,340
This is good, Jake.
You're quite a barbecue chef.
550
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:49,760
What fascinates me
is how you got it
551
00:55:49,980 --> 00:55:54,720
blood raw on one side
and charred to a crisp on the other.
552
00:55:55,270 --> 00:55:58,520
- My steak's fine, Russ.
- Mine, too, darling.
553
00:55:58,730 --> 00:56:01,570
What is this?
What, is this dirt on here?
554
00:56:02,860 --> 00:56:05,780
- Did you say something, Jake?
- No.
555
00:56:06,580 --> 00:56:09,780
- Why do you complain about everything?
- I'm not.
556
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:13,660
- You certainly are.
- You want to hear complaining?
557
00:56:13,870 --> 00:56:19,170
Missy, when are you going to get your
butt in gear and get me a grandchild?
558
00:56:19,380 --> 00:56:23,050
- I think it's time, too.
- At last we agree on something.
559
00:56:23,260 --> 00:56:27,920
Everything in due time. For cripe's
sake, they just moved into a home.
560
00:56:28,140 --> 00:56:31,220
Don't put pressure on pressure.
What's the rush?
561
00:56:31,430 --> 00:56:38,900
I'm with you. I almost lost Kristy in
delivery. If she waits, it's fine with me.
562
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:42,890
I just think it's odd
that they've been married four years
563
00:56:43,110 --> 00:56:45,270
and they don't even talk about kids.
564
00:56:45,490 --> 00:56:50,400
It was a breech. The women
in my family have such small hips.
565
00:56:50,620 --> 00:56:53,660
It was painful and it was terrifying.
566
00:56:53,870 --> 00:56:59,710
You're all right now, so why dwell
on it, in the sweet name of Christ?
567
00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:04,130
- You didn't know until it was over.
- How could I? I was playing golf.
568
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:07,710
Darling,
you would have divine babies.
569
00:57:07,930 --> 00:57:12,920
- Aren't you thinking about it?
- Mom, that's a personal matter.
570
00:57:14,310 --> 00:57:18,230
Well, it's a family matter.
We're just curious.
571
00:57:19,110 --> 00:57:21,230
Well, what's the deal?
572
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:25,940
They'll have kids when they have kids.
Maybe they're not ready.
573
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:29,410
Are they going to be swingers
the rest of their lives?
574
00:57:29,620 --> 00:57:32,240
Did your parents goad you
into having kids?
575
00:57:32,460 --> 00:57:36,540
There was no time to goad me.
No, I had my kids right away.
576
00:57:36,750 --> 00:57:41,050
Down at my company,
everybody my age or around my age
577
00:57:41,260 --> 00:57:44,710
has a picture on their desk
of a grandchild.
578
00:57:44,930 --> 00:57:48,010
I have a picture on my desk of her.
579
00:57:48,220 --> 00:57:52,470
What I want to have on my desk
is a picture of a grandchild.
580
00:57:53,100 --> 00:57:58,860
Who wouldn't? But this is one thing
we're going to have to have patience on.
581
00:57:59,070 --> 00:58:02,350
I'll be retired
before they get round to it.
582
00:58:02,570 --> 00:58:05,650
Then there won't be any desk
to put a picture on.
583
00:58:09,620 --> 00:58:13,530
- Are you mad?
- No.
584
00:58:13,750 --> 00:58:15,910
Would you rather not talk?
585
00:58:23,130 --> 00:58:26,800
I'm fine.
What do you want to talk about?
586
00:58:27,010 --> 00:58:30,010
- You know.
- Kids?
587
00:58:30,470 --> 00:58:32,960
- You want kids?
- Don't you?
588
00:58:33,180 --> 00:58:36,300
- It's irreversible.
- So?
589
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:42,230
I'm not in the mood for irreversible
action. Let's go to sleep.
590
00:58:42,440 --> 00:58:47,190
Having our parents
has distorted everything.
591
00:58:52,950 --> 00:58:55,410
It's not a good time to talk serious.
592
00:58:57,670 --> 00:58:59,710
Go to sleep.
593
00:59:08,470 --> 00:59:12,760
If I tell you something,
will you promise not to get mad?
594
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:17,680
What is it?
595
00:59:18,690 --> 00:59:21,260
Promise you won't get mad?
596
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:25,020
- Tell me what it is.
- Promise you won't get mad.
597
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:28,870
OK, I promise I won't get mad.
598
00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:37,030
I stopped taking the pill
three months ago.
599
01:00:02,230 --> 01:00:03,860
Keep smiling, Briggsie.
600
01:00:05,150 --> 01:00:09,730
- Can you hold the baby up higher?
- He's got a nosebleed already.
601
01:00:09,950 --> 01:00:13,120
Howard, this is the stupidest thing
I've ever done.
602
01:00:13,330 --> 01:00:16,740
Don't retire the trophy.
Your career is just starting.
603
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:19,000
Some old shit is retiring,
604
01:00:19,210 --> 01:00:23,040
so I have to have my picture taken
with somebody's baby.
605
01:00:23,260 --> 01:00:26,790
Everybody on the account is doing it.
You're nothing special.
606
01:00:27,010 --> 01:00:30,050
Do they hire us
to write ads or play the clown?
607
01:00:30,260 --> 01:00:33,220
- Both.
- I hate this. Hate this.
608
01:00:33,430 --> 01:00:36,770
You can relax.
I've got to reset the lights.
609
01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:43,060
- This is ridiculous.
- Your wife sees these pictures,
610
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:47,360
- she'll beg you for offspring.
- How have you held out so long?
611
01:00:47,570 --> 01:00:51,400
My reproductive life is none
of your business. Where's the mother?
612
01:00:51,620 --> 01:00:56,360
- I don't know. Around here somewhere.
- Thanks, guys. Come on.
613
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:04,840
Whoops!
Sorry.
614
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:09,090
Whoops! Sorry.
Shall we dance?
615
01:01:09,300 --> 01:01:11,340
Give me a break.
616
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:21,560
- Is this yours?
- No.
617
01:03:13,350 --> 01:03:15,390
My fault.
618
01:03:23,980 --> 01:03:26,020
It was her,
in her underwear.
619
01:03:26,230 --> 01:03:30,730
There had to be a reason
why I was seeing her again.
620
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:55,250
Whoa!
Hey, wait a minute.
621
01:03:56,430 --> 01:03:59,180
I don't want to do this all day long.
622
01:03:59,390 --> 01:04:01,640
I cannot work like this!
623
01:04:27,130 --> 01:04:29,170
You're married.
624
01:04:32,220 --> 01:04:34,260
The ring.
625
01:04:35,060 --> 01:04:36,930
Yeah, I am.
626
01:04:38,020 --> 01:04:41,390
- It's OK. I'm married, too.
- Really?
627
01:04:42,020 --> 01:04:44,980
I was too young.
He was too young.
628
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:49,570
- I got married young, too.
- Really?
629
01:04:51,990 --> 01:04:55,280
- Are you still in love with her?
- Yes.
630
01:04:56,870 --> 01:05:00,650
- Yes. Absolutely.
- Absolutely?
631
01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:07,210
If you're still in love with her,
how come you're here with me?
632
01:05:17,100 --> 01:05:21,430
- It's OK. You're nervous.
- Nervous? I'm not nervous.
633
01:05:21,650 --> 01:05:23,680
Oh, come on.
634
01:05:26,730 --> 01:05:28,560
Hey!
635
01:05:30,490 --> 01:05:35,450
- Why do you think I'm nervous?
- Because you don't know what you want.
636
01:08:49,150 --> 01:08:51,190
You're home late.
637
01:08:56,620 --> 01:08:59,980
- You scared me.
- I'm sorry. Did you eat?
638
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:04,370
- I got something down town.
- I went back to the doctor today.
639
01:09:04,580 --> 01:09:07,700
- Everything OK?
- My tests are all in.
640
01:09:07,920 --> 01:09:10,620
- Yeah?
- It's not me. I'm fine.
641
01:09:12,170 --> 01:09:15,420
- What does that mean?
- It means I'm OK.
642
01:09:16,890 --> 01:09:19,840
Obviously not,
if you can't get pregnant.
643
01:09:20,310 --> 01:09:24,430
- I can get pregnant.
- Then why aren't you pregnant?
644
01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:27,430
Because you
can't get me pregnant.
645
01:09:34,070 --> 01:09:37,690
- You believe that?
- It's nothing to be ashamed of.
646
01:09:37,910 --> 01:09:39,780
Who's ashamed?
647
01:09:39,990 --> 01:09:42,480
My mother said
my father was the same.
648
01:09:42,700 --> 01:09:45,870
Your mother?
You told your mother about this?
649
01:09:46,080 --> 01:09:50,000
Did anybody not hear about it?
Was it on the news?
650
01:09:50,210 --> 01:09:54,960
Let's invite your parents over and put
some chairs at the end of the bed.
651
01:09:55,180 --> 01:09:57,220
A little home instruction.
652
01:09:57,430 --> 01:10:02,220
- Get your butt a little higher, Jake.
- Russ, he knows what he's doing.
653
01:10:02,430 --> 01:10:06,760
If he knew what he was doing,
we'd be grandparents by now.
654
01:10:06,980 --> 01:10:12,140
I'm sure he'd have pointers for me.
You told your mother? Jesus!
655
01:10:18,820 --> 01:10:23,820
- It could be a very simple problem.
- What problem? There is no problem.
656
01:10:24,040 --> 01:10:28,200
Compared to what I had to go through,
your test is easy.
657
01:10:29,380 --> 01:10:31,420
What's the big deal?
658
01:10:31,630 --> 01:10:35,330
- Would you like to have to do that?
- I'd help.
659
01:10:35,550 --> 01:10:38,090
Very funny.
Well, I'm sorry, babe.
660
01:10:38,300 --> 01:10:42,140
If you're fine and I'm not,
there's nothing I can do.
661
01:10:42,350 --> 01:10:46,430
- I'm sorry. I feel bad, but...
- Problems can be treated.
662
01:10:46,650 --> 01:10:50,560
Surgery? That's exactly
where I'd like to have surgery.
663
01:10:50,770 --> 01:10:54,610
I'd like men poking around
with scalpels at my groin.
664
01:10:54,820 --> 01:10:58,070
No, no, no.
Nobody is touching my balls.
665
01:11:00,870 --> 01:11:04,280
Maybe this is not really
the place to discuss this.
666
01:11:04,500 --> 01:11:06,950
- Why are you being a baby?
- I'm not.
667
01:11:07,170 --> 01:11:09,870
You are.
You know how many men do this?
668
01:11:10,090 --> 01:11:13,250
Whatever number minus one.
I'm not doing it.
669
01:11:13,460 --> 01:11:17,960
I knew you'd be a baby, so I called
Dr Stanky and asked what's involved.
670
01:11:18,180 --> 01:11:20,300
You called Dr Stanky?
671
01:11:29,110 --> 01:11:33,810
- OK, what's involved?
- A couple of minutes and a plastic cup.
672
01:11:37,030 --> 01:11:40,530
It's all very discreet
and professional.
673
01:12:02,510 --> 01:12:06,590
- Hi, can I help you?
- Yeah, yeah. Jefferson Briggs.
674
01:12:10,020 --> 01:12:14,930
Well, I have my sp...
my... my...
675
01:12:15,150 --> 01:12:17,190
- My...
- Sample?
676
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:19,440
Yeah, sample.
Yeah.
677
01:12:21,330 --> 01:12:24,240
- There you go. OK.
- Thank you.
678
01:12:25,960 --> 01:12:28,870
I'm sorry.
Are you sure there's any in here?
679
01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:03,150
My inability to impregnate Kristy
was blamed on tight shorts,
680
01:13:03,370 --> 01:13:05,820
something to do
with my body temperature.
681
01:13:06,040 --> 01:13:10,620
It seemed rather flimsy. To go
through the hell of a fertility check
682
01:13:10,830 --> 01:13:14,170
and discover that my undergarment
preference was to blame
683
01:13:14,380 --> 01:13:19,090
seemed as silly and pointless
as everything else about my life.
684
01:13:20,050 --> 01:13:21,930
Jake!
685
01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:30,560
Jakey! My temperature's just right.
It's the perfect time. Where are you?
686
01:13:32,770 --> 01:13:34,680
Can you hurry?
687
01:13:34,900 --> 01:13:38,770
Hiding from my wife,
hiding from my manly obligation,
688
01:13:38,990 --> 01:13:42,070
our love nest
had become a stud farm.
689
01:13:44,990 --> 01:13:49,950
Jakey, my temperature's just right.
Where are you? Hurry, hurry!
690
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:57,250
Jefferson Edward Briggs!
691
01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:00,920
Hi, babe.
692
01:14:03,310 --> 01:14:05,930
Were you working
on the water heater?
693
01:14:06,140 --> 01:14:10,390
Sorry, but it's 48 hours
since our last coition, I'm ovulating,
694
01:14:10,600 --> 01:14:14,820
I have the pillows set up
so that my cervix is placed better
695
01:14:15,030 --> 01:14:17,560
in the intervaginal seminal pool.
696
01:14:17,780 --> 01:14:20,450
You can watch TV if you get bored.
697
01:14:20,860 --> 01:14:23,870
Here's to successful fertilisation,
sweetie!
698
01:15:30,080 --> 01:15:32,120
My father died.
699
01:16:03,490 --> 01:16:05,530
Come on in.
700
01:16:05,750 --> 01:16:10,290
Oh, Davis,
I feel so bad about what's happened.
701
01:16:10,500 --> 01:16:14,830
I don't know what to say. I've never
had anyone close to me die.
702
01:16:15,300 --> 01:16:18,750
- You can tell me anything.
- We miss you. How's that?
703
01:16:18,970 --> 01:16:21,010
We?
704
01:16:22,430 --> 01:16:24,720
- Jake and I.
- Jake and who?
705
01:16:25,680 --> 01:16:28,440
- Me.
- You miss me?
706
01:16:28,650 --> 01:16:31,560
- Yeah.
- Why?
707
01:16:31,770 --> 01:16:36,070
Why? Because we've
been friends for years.
708
01:16:36,610 --> 01:16:40,190
- Is that all?
- Friendship isn't enough?
709
01:16:40,410 --> 01:16:42,570
Sometimes.
710
01:16:45,120 --> 01:16:46,450
Sometimes not.
711
01:16:49,620 --> 01:16:54,290
Jake told me
that you want to have a baby.
712
01:17:01,260 --> 01:17:03,300
Why?
713
01:17:06,430 --> 01:17:08,680
Because I'm...
714
01:17:10,400 --> 01:17:14,390
...ready.
- How do you know when you're ready?
715
01:17:14,610 --> 01:17:17,610
- You feel it.
- Is Jake ready?
716
01:17:17,820 --> 01:17:20,280
Yeah, I think he is.
He says he is.
717
01:17:20,490 --> 01:17:25,150
- How does he know?
- I don't know. Maybe he feels it.
718
01:17:26,250 --> 01:17:29,530
- Maybe not.
- What are you trying to say?
719
01:17:30,170 --> 01:17:32,410
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
720
01:17:33,840 --> 01:17:36,510
- Nothing.
- OK.
721
01:17:40,390 --> 01:17:42,420
Sleep well.
722
01:17:45,310 --> 01:17:47,350
I won't.
723
01:17:51,900 --> 01:17:54,300
Davis, what do you want from me?
724
01:17:54,520 --> 01:17:57,190
I want you to kiss me goodnight.
725
01:17:58,280 --> 01:18:02,740
- It was stupid. I'm sorry.
- I've heard some bad come-on lines.
726
01:18:02,950 --> 01:18:05,490
You think I'm scum, don't you?
727
01:18:06,370 --> 01:18:08,860
Because I stayed here
with that slut.
728
01:18:09,080 --> 01:18:11,120
Let me tell you something.
729
01:18:13,750 --> 01:18:17,700
I envy Jake. I always have.
730
01:18:20,430 --> 01:18:23,300
It was difficult for me
when you got married.
731
01:18:24,260 --> 01:18:26,390
You're a liar.
732
01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:29,770
I just wanted you
to kiss me goodnight.
733
01:18:32,730 --> 01:18:36,350
So that, in some microscopic way...
734
01:18:40,610 --> 01:18:43,280
...I know that you care about me.
735
01:18:58,840 --> 01:19:00,880
I do care.
736
01:19:01,640 --> 01:19:03,670
I always have.
737
01:19:12,270 --> 01:19:14,760
Not in this lifetime, Davis.
738
01:19:16,780 --> 01:19:19,020
Why not?
739
01:19:19,240 --> 01:19:21,530
You have to ask?
740
01:19:23,490 --> 01:19:25,780
You really love him.
741
01:19:27,200 --> 01:19:29,410
With everything I am.
742
01:19:30,710 --> 01:19:33,380
Nothing will change that.
743
01:19:34,250 --> 01:19:39,960
Not your hands on my body, your looks,
your money or your charm. Nothing.
744
01:19:42,340 --> 01:19:45,210
Why does it have to be about love?
745
01:19:45,430 --> 01:19:48,680
Aren't you the least bit curious?
746
01:19:48,890 --> 01:19:54,020
- Didn't you ever steal candy as a kid?
- I'm not a kid any more.
747
01:19:54,230 --> 01:19:56,690
- You got cold, huh?
- I didn't.
748
01:19:56,900 --> 01:20:00,070
I found out something
you're not even close to.
749
01:20:00,280 --> 01:20:03,900
- Educate me.
- You've got to figure it out yourself.
750
01:20:04,120 --> 01:20:07,200
You've got to feel it
in your own skin.
751
01:20:07,490 --> 01:20:10,950
I won't tell Jake about this.
It isn't fatal.
752
01:20:11,160 --> 01:20:13,620
You have your good points.
753
01:20:16,420 --> 01:20:19,500
- You're the only one I ever loved.
- No, Davis.
754
01:20:19,720 --> 01:20:22,590
You're the only one you ever loved.
755
01:20:52,830 --> 01:20:56,170
- Jake? Mrs Briggs called.
- My mother called?
756
01:20:56,750 --> 01:21:00,450
- Your wife. She's down town.
- What's she doing down town?
757
01:21:00,670 --> 01:21:04,340
I don't know. She said
she wanted to meet you after work.
758
01:21:04,550 --> 01:21:09,130
- And it was important.
- Did she say what was important?
759
01:21:09,350 --> 01:21:15,100
No. She said you should meet her at
5.00 at the Museum of Natural History.
760
01:21:17,230 --> 01:21:21,560
If you're still in love with her,
how come you're here with me?
761
01:21:31,290 --> 01:21:33,660
Dillon, Carson & Reid?
762
01:21:35,630 --> 01:21:37,540
Hi.
763
01:21:37,750 --> 01:21:42,830
What are you calling now for?
I told you never to call me at work.
764
01:21:43,050 --> 01:21:47,260
Yeah. OK. I'll talk to you later.
I love you.
765
01:22:20,630 --> 01:22:22,670
Jake...
766
01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:30,630
We're going to have a baby.
767
01:22:33,940 --> 01:22:38,850
I found out this morning.
I didn't want to tell you on the phone.
768
01:22:41,150 --> 01:22:43,390
How do you feel?
769
01:22:51,830 --> 01:22:54,910
Are you as happy as I am?
770
01:22:59,630 --> 01:23:02,750
I think so. Yeah.
771
01:23:05,590 --> 01:23:08,170
Yeah.
772
01:23:16,480 --> 01:23:18,640
We're blessed.
773
01:25:31,950 --> 01:25:35,290
I'd stumbled into a marriage,
drifted into a career
774
01:25:35,500 --> 01:25:38,870
and backed into fatherhood.
It was too easy.
775
01:25:39,080 --> 01:25:42,700
I couldn't convince myself
everything was all right.
776
01:25:42,920 --> 01:25:46,870
There was something out there,
circling my happy home,
777
01:25:47,090 --> 01:25:51,300
watching me, stalking me,
waiting to strike.
778
01:26:11,910 --> 01:26:13,950
Jake!
779
01:26:14,160 --> 01:26:16,200
Yeah?
780
01:26:17,000 --> 01:26:19,040
Jake!
781
01:26:19,750 --> 01:26:21,710
I'm working.
782
01:26:21,920 --> 01:26:24,490
Jake, honey, it's time.
783
01:26:24,710 --> 01:26:26,750
Time for what?
784
01:27:52,930 --> 01:27:56,380
Sorry, sorry. I'm really sorry.
Are you OK?
785
01:27:56,600 --> 01:27:59,010
Fine.
I'm glad you came back.
786
01:27:59,230 --> 01:28:01,930
Yeah. How do you feel?
All right?
787
01:28:02,150 --> 01:28:04,720
- I feel fine.
- OK. Take it slow.
788
01:28:04,940 --> 01:28:06,820
I don't want you to rush.
OK.
789
01:28:08,490 --> 01:28:10,730
Just sit down. Are you all right?
Are you OK?
790
01:29:01,540 --> 01:29:05,130
In through the nose...
And out through the mouth...
791
01:29:05,340 --> 01:29:07,880
Kris, you're not breathing.
In through the nose...
792
01:29:08,090 --> 01:29:11,710
- Out through the mouth.
- Oh, babe, are you OK?
793
01:29:11,930 --> 01:29:16,140
Fine, fine. In through the nose...
Out through the mouth.
794
01:29:18,060 --> 01:29:21,480
You OK? Remember everything
we learnt in class?
795
01:29:21,690 --> 01:29:25,390
Got your focal point? You got it?
Where is it?
796
01:29:26,940 --> 01:29:31,070
Bureau? That's too big.
Get something more focal.
797
01:29:32,410 --> 01:29:36,160
What? Bunnies? OK, concentrate
on that and not the pain.
798
01:29:36,370 --> 01:29:39,900
Pretend that there is no pain.
But I'm right here.
799
01:29:40,120 --> 01:29:42,960
- Babe, it's started.
- It's started?
800
01:29:43,170 --> 01:29:45,920
- It's started!
- Why didn't you say?
801
01:29:46,130 --> 01:29:49,960
What is it? About 10 seconds
it's been? Less? More?
802
01:29:50,760 --> 01:29:56,260
What, less? I don't understand.
We'll call it 20. We'll call it 25, OK?
803
01:29:57,020 --> 01:29:59,800
I don't understand. What is this?
What?
804
01:30:00,020 --> 01:30:03,100
Oh, I'm in the...
Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.
805
01:30:04,480 --> 01:30:07,440
- Oh, shit!
- Look at it. Look at the bunnies.
806
01:30:08,650 --> 01:30:10,480
Breathe...
807
01:30:10,700 --> 01:30:12,650
OK, breathe.
808
01:30:23,960 --> 01:30:26,120
That's it?
809
01:30:31,590 --> 01:30:33,340
Whoa!
810
01:30:36,970 --> 01:30:39,380
You OK? All right?
811
01:30:40,100 --> 01:30:44,980
You did good. I think we should work
out some kind of signal
812
01:30:45,190 --> 01:30:48,360
when the contractions start
because I didn't know.
813
01:30:48,570 --> 01:30:53,070
So if you could grab my arm.
Yes, grab my arm when it starts.
814
01:30:53,280 --> 01:30:57,660
Just... That's it? It started again?
Already? So soon?
815
01:30:58,450 --> 01:31:01,490
- Oh, God!
- Nurse!
816
01:31:04,880 --> 01:31:09,210
- Do I come?
- No, wait here. I'll be right back.
817
01:31:09,420 --> 01:31:11,330
OK, OK.
818
01:31:11,550 --> 01:31:13,670
Oh, I hold these? OK.
819
01:31:13,890 --> 01:31:15,840
OK, babe, see you.
820
01:31:17,470 --> 01:31:20,560
Remember your breathing.
Just relax, now.
821
01:31:33,700 --> 01:31:39,820
OK, Kristy, we're going
to move you over. Over here, hon.
822
01:31:42,290 --> 01:31:44,860
Nice and easy. That's it.
823
01:32:02,100 --> 01:32:04,140
Look at this one.
824
01:32:07,650 --> 01:32:12,190
- Don't touch that.
- Oh, sorry. My fault. Sorry.
825
01:32:12,410 --> 01:32:15,490
OK, Kristy, control your breathing,
all right?
826
01:32:15,700 --> 01:32:20,660
When you feel a contraction,
take a deep breath and hold it for ten.
827
01:32:20,870 --> 01:32:25,330
You feel the contraction?
Deep breath in and hold it for ten.
828
01:32:25,540 --> 01:32:29,670
One, two, three, four, five,
829
01:32:29,880 --> 01:32:34,260
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
830
01:32:34,470 --> 01:32:36,510
OK, blow it out.
831
01:32:36,720 --> 01:32:40,220
Take another deep breath
and hold it for ten again.
832
01:32:40,430 --> 01:32:42,640
Ready? Good.
One, two...
833
01:32:49,610 --> 01:32:53,820
Oh, hi.
I was just watching.
834
01:32:54,030 --> 01:32:56,070
- Here we go.
- Put these on.
835
01:32:56,280 --> 01:32:59,240
- Is this my size?
- They're one-size-fits-all.
836
01:32:59,450 --> 01:33:02,070
OK, what is this...
837
01:33:02,290 --> 01:33:05,120
Get these on, come back to me
and I'll take you in.
838
01:33:05,330 --> 01:33:07,370
OK, great.
839
01:33:09,960 --> 01:33:13,750
Mr Briggs, that goes on
over your clothes.
840
01:33:13,970 --> 01:33:16,460
Oh, yeah. Of course.
I'm sorry.
841
01:33:19,770 --> 01:33:22,520
- Where's my husband?
- He'll be here soon.
842
01:33:22,730 --> 01:33:24,770
Oh, God!
843
01:33:29,110 --> 01:33:30,440
Jake!
844
01:33:30,650 --> 01:33:33,820
- Did I do this right?
- It looks OK to me.
845
01:33:34,030 --> 01:33:36,270
- We're going to the delivery room?
- Yes.
846
01:33:36,490 --> 01:33:39,450
- I feel charged. I'm ready.
- You'll be fine.
847
01:33:39,660 --> 01:33:42,330
- I thought I'd be nervous, but...
- This way.
848
01:33:43,580 --> 01:33:45,660
- This is great. Right in here?
- Yes.
849
01:33:49,340 --> 01:33:51,380
Wait here. I'll be right back.
850
01:33:55,140 --> 01:33:58,590
- Get him out of here.
- Kristy, listen to me...
851
01:33:58,810 --> 01:34:02,760
Mr Briggs, you have to wait outside.
There's a complication.
852
01:34:02,980 --> 01:34:06,430
Mr Briggs, please!
You have to wait outside.
853
01:34:06,650 --> 01:34:09,320
- That's my wife!
- I know it is.
854
01:34:09,530 --> 01:34:11,730
Just tell me what's going on.
855
01:34:12,360 --> 01:34:14,570
Just tell me what's going on!
856
01:34:14,780 --> 01:34:20,570
Calm down. I'll go and find out and
I'll come back for you. You stay here!
857
01:34:31,590 --> 01:34:34,080
Kristy, listen to me right now.
858
01:34:34,300 --> 01:34:36,760
- Listen to me.
- I want to get it out.
859
01:34:36,970 --> 01:34:39,720
- Stop pushing.
- I've got to get it out!
860
01:34:39,930 --> 01:34:43,550
Listen to me. Stop pushing
with your contractions.
861
01:34:43,770 --> 01:34:47,640
- You're not doing yourself any good.
- I've got to get it out!
862
01:34:51,480 --> 01:34:53,520
Oh, God!
863
01:35:08,250 --> 01:35:12,830
Mr Briggs,
the baby is in a breech presentation.
864
01:35:14,510 --> 01:35:18,010
- It's coming out backwards.
- What does it mean?
865
01:35:19,430 --> 01:35:21,470
The baby's head is caught.
866
01:35:22,060 --> 01:35:26,850
It's too early to tell,
but we're doing everything we can.
867
01:39:39,530 --> 01:39:41,570
Hi, sweetie.
868
01:39:54,050 --> 01:39:56,620
I didn't want anybody else
to tell you.
869
01:40:00,260 --> 01:40:02,590
Babe, it's a boy.
870
01:40:08,520 --> 01:40:10,560
What?
871
01:40:10,770 --> 01:40:13,180
We have a boy.
872
01:40:20,450 --> 01:40:22,820
He's OK?
873
01:40:41,590 --> 01:40:43,670
I love you.
874
01:40:53,900 --> 01:40:58,610
And, in the end, I realised
that I took more than I gave.
875
01:40:59,650 --> 01:41:02,570
I was trusted
more than I trusted.
876
01:41:03,240 --> 01:41:06,660
And I was loved more than I loved.
877
01:41:06,870 --> 01:41:12,540
And what I was looking for
was not to be found, but to be made.
878
01:42:03,090 --> 01:42:07,140
How about a nice, simple name?
Larry? Bob?
879
01:42:08,310 --> 01:42:11,970
If it's a boy, name it after me.
Russell.
880
01:42:12,190 --> 01:42:15,390
Jefferson junior... George...
Arnold...
881
01:42:15,610 --> 01:42:18,480
Caleb... lan...
Mark... Marmaduke...
882
01:42:18,690 --> 01:42:20,940
Otto.
There aren't enough Ottos around.
883
01:42:21,150 --> 01:42:24,740
Douglas... Reginald...
Igor... Hyman...
884
01:42:24,950 --> 01:42:29,080
Schwok. That's good. I don't know
what it is. I heard it on a bus.
885
01:42:29,290 --> 01:42:31,700
David... Alfred... Irwin...
886
01:42:31,920 --> 01:42:33,960
Melonhead, or Lizard.
887
01:42:34,170 --> 01:42:36,740
Huey... Basil...
Roland...
888
01:42:36,960 --> 01:42:41,010
Hmm, names for a boy. Well, my wife's
always been partial to Bor-bor.
889
01:42:41,220 --> 01:42:43,590
Jason... Jerome... Vladimir...
890
01:42:43,800 --> 01:42:45,080
Maximillian, thanks a million.
891
01:42:45,300 --> 01:42:47,930
Nicholas... Abner...
Johann... Michael...
892
01:42:48,140 --> 01:42:52,140
Cryoborg, Gandor, Klaus, Valdor,
893
01:42:52,350 --> 01:42:54,730
Slagathor... Slaggy for short.
894
01:42:54,940 --> 01:42:56,980
Rudolph... Peter... Ashley...
895
01:42:57,190 --> 01:43:03,940
And I've liked for years Quig, Bligh,
Nargalzius, Rolo and Vordergan.
896
01:43:04,160 --> 01:43:07,860
Jean-Marc... Mohammed... Melvin...
Milton... Duane... Klaus...
897
01:43:08,080 --> 01:43:12,910
Toby? Kind of a sissy.
But, OK, could be a priest.
898
01:43:13,120 --> 01:43:17,340
Blind Boy Grunt... Jasper...
Opie... Walter...
899
01:43:17,550 --> 01:43:19,670
If you want to torment him,
call him Cecil.
900
01:43:19,880 --> 01:43:22,250
Charlie... Terrence...
901
01:43:22,470 --> 01:43:24,090
Charlie the first...
902
01:43:24,300 --> 01:43:27,300
George... Harry... Jeffery...
Reuben...
903
01:43:27,510 --> 01:43:31,180
Or you could go silly
and call him Skippy.
904
01:43:31,810 --> 01:43:34,850
Wheeler... Jim... Winthrop...
905
01:43:35,060 --> 01:43:36,770
Barney is a good name.
906
01:43:36,980 --> 01:43:39,220
Grover... Alvin... Elliot...
907
01:43:39,440 --> 01:43:41,820
Linus... Roscoe... Kerwin...
908
01:43:42,030 --> 01:43:44,070
Kyoshi Yamamoto...
Patrick...
909
01:43:44,280 --> 01:43:46,770
How about Little Suck?
Dashiel... Fred...
910
01:43:46,990 --> 01:43:50,820
Orbie Lee... Jasper...
Jazz: J-A-Z-Z...
911
01:43:51,040 --> 01:43:52,500
Guido... Horatio...
912
01:43:52,710 --> 01:43:57,250
Baby Magic. Who wouldn't love that?
I would. What about you?
913
01:43:57,460 --> 01:43:59,750
Spike... Adolph... Chris...
914
01:43:59,960 --> 01:44:02,000
Mark...
915
01:44:02,220 --> 01:44:05,170
- Mucus.
- Mucus?
916
01:44:05,390 --> 01:44:07,960
- What was the question again?
- Conan.
917
01:44:09,680 --> 01:44:12,010
- What about Billy?
- I like Billy.
918
01:44:12,230 --> 01:44:14,600
Bunky... Buford... Brewster...
Bertolucci...
919
01:44:14,810 --> 01:44:17,900
Barney... Basil... Butch... Boris...
Beauregard...
920
01:44:18,110 --> 01:44:20,230
Bellawackadayforlonger-
amsterdamandashquinina.
921
01:44:20,440 --> 01:44:22,270
What's wrong with that?
922
01:44:22,490 --> 01:44:24,940
I don't know...
What's wrong with my name?
923
01:44:25,160 --> 01:44:27,860
- Did we say Christopher yet?
- Yeah.
924
01:44:28,080 --> 01:44:32,160
- I like Christopher.
- I don't know. Maybe.
70932
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