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1
00:00:48,336 --> 00:00:52,966
I have climbed
the highest mountains
2
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:57,306
I have run through the fields
3
00:00:57,378 --> 00:01:01,781
Only to be with you
4
00:01:01,849 --> 00:01:07,185
Only to be with you
5
00:01:07,254 --> 00:01:11,953
I have run, I have crawled
6
00:01:12,026 --> 00:01:16,554
I have scaled these city walls
7
00:01:16,631 --> 00:01:21,034
These city walls
8
00:01:21,102 --> 00:01:26,199
Only to be with you
9
00:01:26,273 --> 00:01:30,903
But I still haven't found
10
00:01:30,978 --> 00:01:34,607
What I'm looking for
11
00:01:35,783 --> 00:01:40,516
But I still haven't found
12
00:01:40,588 --> 00:01:43,056
What I'm looking for
13
00:01:46,093 --> 00:01:50,996
Fisher, pick up.
Fisher, it's me. Fisher, pick up!
14
00:01:51,065 --> 00:01:53,693
I'm late. Come on, come on.
I need to bounce some ideas off you.
15
00:01:53,768 --> 00:01:55,736
Mine are all boring.
Done it, been there.
16
00:01:55,803 --> 00:02:00,103
- Hey, Ike!
- When are you guys gonna stop
wakin' me up every morning?
17
00:02:00,174 --> 00:02:02,574
When your column stops
putting me to sleep.
18
00:02:02,643 --> 00:02:05,271
- Oh, funny, funny.
- Yo, Jonah!
19
00:02:05,346 --> 00:02:07,473
Fisher, come on!
Are you really not there?
20
00:02:07,548 --> 00:02:09,778
All right. Cool.
I'll talk to you later.
21
00:02:09,850 --> 00:02:12,683
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Uh, f... you know, I'm thinking of
doing an article about limousines.
22
00:02:12,753 --> 00:02:14,243
What do you think about people
who've never been in one?
23
00:02:14,321 --> 00:02:17,688
I'm sorry.
I don't know people like that.
24
00:02:17,758 --> 00:02:21,524
Lex, I just need someone to bounce some
ideas off of and get the juices flowing.
25
00:02:21,595 --> 00:02:24,758
And I got one hour,
27 minutes, 52 seconds.
26
00:02:24,832 --> 00:02:26,800
Hey, Ike, when are you gonna
put me in the column?
27
00:02:26,867 --> 00:02:29,768
- When your T-shirts stop shrinking.
- It shrinks?
28
00:02:29,837 --> 00:02:31,270
- Funny. Funny.
- Oh, forget it.
29
00:02:31,338 --> 00:02:34,034
He's kidding. He's just kidding.
Here, give me five dollars.
30
00:02:34,108 --> 00:02:36,042
- Here, give me two dollars.
- No way.
31
00:02:36,110 --> 00:02:41,309
Folks, I got nice shirts here.
Look. "I love everybody. You're next."
32
00:02:41,382 --> 00:02:48,481
Oh, I promise you
my love won't be easy
33
00:02:48,556 --> 00:02:54,324
I promise you
there'll be times apart
34
00:02:57,431 --> 00:03:00,662
So what's in store for us
in tomorrow's column?
35
00:03:00,735 --> 00:03:03,169
I don't know yet.
36
00:03:03,237 --> 00:03:06,934
I'm, uh, kind of
a last-minute man. I, uh...
37
00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:10,340
You know, until an hour or two
before deadline, I don't get any ideas.
38
00:03:12,012 --> 00:03:14,606
So you get your ideas
for your column from life?
39
00:03:14,682 --> 00:03:16,946
Start up a conversation
with a woman in a bar...
40
00:03:17,017 --> 00:03:20,384
attack her dart-playing and
try to get a rise out of her...
41
00:03:20,454 --> 00:03:23,014
while you contemplate whether
or not she's worth hitting on?
42
00:03:23,090 --> 00:03:25,820
No, no, I can't hit on you
till I get an idea.
43
00:03:25,893 --> 00:03:30,023
- Oh, that's flattering.
- No! No, you don't understand.
44
00:03:30,097 --> 00:03:33,498
I understand. See, my not
responding to you baiting me...
45
00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:37,401
will inspire one of those bitter
diatribes you like to write about women.
46
00:03:37,471 --> 00:03:39,803
I don't write bitter
diatribes about women.
47
00:03:39,874 --> 00:03:41,808
- Ohh. Ohh.
- Very often.
48
00:03:41,876 --> 00:03:45,607
- I could.
- Only when the ideas
aren't flowing, huh?
49
00:03:45,679 --> 00:03:48,773
It's so nice to meet you,
one-minute man.
50
00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:51,875
- It's "last-minute" man.
- Whatever.
51
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,953
Wanna hear somethin' funny? For a
good-lookin' guy, you strike out a lot.
52
00:03:56,023 --> 00:03:58,253
Have you noticed that?
53
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,851
- I bet it's your ex-wife.
- Excuse me.
54
00:04:01,929 --> 00:04:05,160
- Yeah?
- I've seen much worse.
- Oh, hey, Ellie!
55
00:04:05,232 --> 00:04:07,427
No, Ike's not here.
56
00:04:07,501 --> 00:04:09,765
- I say, I've seen much worse.
- All right.
57
00:04:09,837 --> 00:04:13,034
- I'll tell him when he comes in.
- Excuse me?
58
00:04:13,107 --> 00:04:15,337
The brush-off.
59
00:04:15,409 --> 00:04:18,936
I've witnessed
far more treacherous...
60
00:04:19,013 --> 00:04:22,346
and nefarious exits than that.
61
00:04:22,416 --> 00:04:25,613
At least she castigated you
in private.
62
00:04:25,686 --> 00:04:29,417
Not as private as I thought.
Kevin, you got some napkins there?
63
00:04:29,490 --> 00:04:32,254
- Wiping or writing?
- I'll let you know.
64
00:04:32,326 --> 00:04:35,227
They love you, they hate you.
65
00:04:35,296 --> 00:04:38,891
They're hot, they're cold,
they're high, they're low.
66
00:04:38,966 --> 00:04:41,935
They're up, they're down. You know, this
is really fun making a list with you.
67
00:04:42,002 --> 00:04:44,436
- But I do have a column to write here.
- Ike.
68
00:04:44,505 --> 00:04:49,067
But you have yet to find
a really superb idea!
69
00:04:49,143 --> 00:04:52,374
Th-Th-There's a girl from my hometown
that you could write about.
70
00:04:52,446 --> 00:04:54,573
Excuse me, but we
don't need any ideas.
71
00:04:54,648 --> 00:04:56,809
She likes to dump grooms
right at the altar.
72
00:04:56,884 --> 00:04:59,478
They call her "The Runaway Bride."
73
00:04:59,553 --> 00:05:01,748
Yeah, sh-she's performed
the travesty seven or eight times.
74
00:05:01,822 --> 00:05:04,416
Turns around,
runs like hell, bolts.
75
00:05:04,491 --> 00:05:08,188
Adios. Plows down the aisle, knocking
old ladies out of her way like...
76
00:05:08,262 --> 00:05:10,992
like the running
of the bulls in Pamplona.
77
00:05:11,065 --> 00:05:14,193
And guess what?
She's got the next victim all lined up.
78
00:05:14,268 --> 00:05:17,601
She's-She's turning
another body on the spit.
79
00:05:17,671 --> 00:05:20,037
Okay, Italics, here we go!
80
00:05:22,710 --> 00:05:26,703
Today is a day
of profound introspection.
81
00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:29,613
I have been accused
of using this column...
82
00:05:29,683 --> 00:05:33,676
to direct bitter diatribes
at the opposite sex.
83
00:05:33,754 --> 00:05:36,814
This uncomfortable accusation...
84
00:05:36,891 --> 00:05:39,883
has plunged me
into at least 15 minutes...
85
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,952
of serious reflection,
from which I have emerged...
86
00:05:43,030 --> 00:05:48,798
with the conclusion that, yes,
I traffic in female stereotypes.
87
00:05:50,838 --> 00:05:54,433
"But how can one blame me when
every time I step out my front door...
88
00:05:54,508 --> 00:05:58,501
I meet fresh proof that the female
archetypes are alive and well...
89
00:05:58,579 --> 00:06:02,015
the mother, the virgin,
the whore, the crone.
90
00:06:02,082 --> 00:06:05,074
They're elbowing you in the subway,
stealing your cabs...
91
00:06:05,152 --> 00:06:07,586
and overwhelming you
with perfume in elevators."
92
00:06:07,655 --> 00:06:11,648
"But perhaps in fairness to the fairer
sex, I do need to broaden my horizon...
93
00:06:11,725 --> 00:06:14,159
and add some new goddesses
to the pantheon."
94
00:06:14,228 --> 00:06:17,095
"I would like to nominate
for deity the cheerleader...
95
00:06:17,164 --> 00:06:19,598
ah, the cheerleader,
the coed and the man-eater...
96
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:22,397
the last of which
concerns me most today."
97
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:26,929
"In ancient Greece, this fearsome
female was known as Erinnyes,
the devouring death goddess.
98
00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:30,534
In India, she is Kali, who likes to
devour her boyfriend Shiva's entrails...
99
00:06:30,611 --> 00:06:33,876
while her yoni devours
his 'dot, dot, dot, never mind.'
100
00:06:33,948 --> 00:06:39,079
In Indonesia, the bloody-jawed
man-eater is called Ragma."
101
00:06:39,153 --> 00:06:43,055
You notice these are all
countries without cable.
102
00:06:43,123 --> 00:06:44,886
"And in Hale, Maryland...
103
00:06:44,959 --> 00:06:47,291
where she helps run
the family hardware store...
104
00:06:47,361 --> 00:06:49,625
she's known as
Miss Maggie Carpenter...
105
00:06:49,697 --> 00:06:51,892
a.k.a., the Runaway Bride."
106
00:06:51,966 --> 00:06:54,696
"What is unusual
about Miss Carpenter...
107
00:06:54,768 --> 00:07:00,206
is that she likes to dress her men up
as grooms before she devours them."
108
00:07:00,274 --> 00:07:04,074
One antique hot-water handle
with the "hot" still on it.
109
00:07:04,144 --> 00:07:07,307
Guaranteed to fit
any American Standard cast-iron tub...
110
00:07:07,381 --> 00:07:11,875
with a four-inch center mount
made between 1924 and 1938.
111
00:07:11,952 --> 00:07:13,977
In other words, Mr. Paxton...
112
00:07:14,054 --> 00:07:16,386
I think you are out of the doghouse
with Mrs. Paxton.
113
00:07:16,457 --> 00:07:19,551
- Alleluia.
- I'll see you later.
I'll put it on your charge.
114
00:07:19,626 --> 00:07:23,357
You know, there's a possibility
she hasn't seen this yet.
115
00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:28,026
I mean, maybe she just hasn't picked up
a paper. You know what I mean?
116
00:07:28,102 --> 00:07:30,195
- Or not.
- Uh, Maggie.
117
00:07:30,270 --> 00:07:33,000
Earl, you don't need an air conditioner.
You need an attic fan.
118
00:07:33,073 --> 00:07:36,099
There's more
in the back, huh? Hey.
119
00:07:40,414 --> 00:07:44,350
- What?
- So, Mag, you've seen this, huh?
120
00:07:44,418 --> 00:07:47,717
Yes, I've seen it.
121
00:07:47,788 --> 00:07:52,282
And it is the rudest,
most offensive...
122
00:07:52,359 --> 00:07:55,123
joke anyone has ever played on me.
123
00:07:55,195 --> 00:07:58,392
You guys! How long did this take you?
Where did you get it done?
124
00:07:58,465 --> 00:08:01,127
You're both creeps, by the way.
I should dis-invite you.
125
00:08:01,201 --> 00:08:06,161
Maggie, you told us
no bachelorette jokes, so we didn't.
126
00:08:12,343 --> 00:08:14,811
Holy moley.
127
00:08:16,981 --> 00:08:19,677
- Bag.
- She's going.
- Bag!
- She's gonna go!
128
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:23,447
Here's the bag. Breathe!
129
00:08:23,521 --> 00:08:27,184
Ready, ready, ready, ready
Ready to run
130
00:08:28,493 --> 00:08:33,362
All I'm ready to do
is have some fun
131
00:08:33,431 --> 00:08:35,865
What's all this talk about
132
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:39,596
Love
133
00:08:44,242 --> 00:08:47,370
And on the local front,
our town of Hale, Maryland...
134
00:08:47,445 --> 00:08:49,777
is still buzzing about
the less-than-flattering article...
135
00:08:49,847 --> 00:08:52,407
about their native daughter,
Maggie Carpenter.
136
00:08:52,483 --> 00:08:57,147
Her bridal exploits were taken
to task by New York columnist
Ike Graham in USA Today.
137
00:08:57,221 --> 00:09:00,384
Mr. Graham called her...
138
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:04,189
Dear Editor,
greetings from the sticks.
139
00:09:04,262 --> 00:09:06,696
Perhaps you believe
that a rural education is focused...
140
00:09:06,764 --> 00:09:11,394
mainly on hog-calling and tractor
maintenance rather than reading.
141
00:09:11,469 --> 00:09:15,303
Why else would you print a piece
of fiction about me and call it fact?
142
00:09:18,509 --> 00:09:21,376
I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy
thinking up slanderous statements...
143
00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:26,246
about how I dump men for kicks
to bother with something silly
like accuracy in reporting...
144
00:09:26,317 --> 00:09:29,616
which is understandable because
with a man-eater like me on the loose...
145
00:09:29,687 --> 00:09:31,348
who has time to check facts?
146
00:09:31,422 --> 00:09:34,220
- Hey, Frances. Lunch today?
- No, I'm going to the bank.
147
00:09:34,292 --> 00:09:36,419
- Sure?
- Sorry, Ike.
148
00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:39,554
- All right. Hey.
- Hey.
149
00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:42,929
- I'm gonna put in a good word for you.
- No, that's okay.
Don't mention my name in there.
150
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,766
That's why I was surprised to find
Mr. Graham's editor was a woman.
151
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:50,671
Call me a sentimental fool,
but I sort of hoped we man-eaters
could stick together.
152
00:09:50,741 --> 00:09:53,574
"Anyway, I'm just dropping you big city
folk this little note to say...
153
00:09:53,644 --> 00:09:57,842
that I have thought of
a ritual sacrifice that would
satisfy my current appetite...
154
00:09:57,915 --> 00:10:00,213
Ike Graham's column on a platter.
155
00:10:00,284 --> 00:10:02,047
Yours Truly, Maggie Carpenter.
156
00:10:02,119 --> 00:10:07,022
P.S., I have enclosed a list of
the gross factual misrepresentations
in your article.
157
00:10:07,091 --> 00:10:09,025
There are 15."
158
00:10:10,228 --> 00:10:13,686
Funny. I like her.
She's got spunk.
159
00:10:13,764 --> 00:10:17,097
Ike, look, she sent us this list.
160
00:10:17,168 --> 00:10:20,035
Our lawyers say it's actionable.
161
00:10:20,104 --> 00:10:22,436
I left you four messages.
You don't return my calls.
162
00:10:22,506 --> 00:10:25,475
So? I never returned your calls.
Even when we were married,
I didn't return your...
163
00:10:25,543 --> 00:10:27,272
What's Fisher doing here, anyway?
164
00:10:27,345 --> 00:10:30,644
Oh, Ellie asked me to come down
to offer moral support.
165
00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:33,809
Since when does Ellie
need moral support?
166
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:36,216
It's for you, Ike.
167
00:10:39,523 --> 00:10:42,981
- What? What?
- Journalism lesson number one:
168
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:46,086
If you fabricate your facts,
you get fired.
169
00:10:46,163 --> 00:10:49,655
Lesson number two:
Never work for your former spouse.
170
00:10:49,734 --> 00:10:51,998
That has nothing to do with it.
171
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:55,732
- You cooked this story up,
and you know it!
- I did not cook anything up!
172
00:10:55,806 --> 00:10:58,798
- I had a source.
- Someone reliable?
Some booze hound in a bar?
173
00:11:00,344 --> 00:11:04,804
Hey, hey, hey. Don't knock drunk guys
in bars. It means they're not driving.
174
00:11:04,882 --> 00:11:09,615
Besides, I am a columnist. This is
what columnists are supposed to do.
175
00:11:09,687 --> 00:11:13,748
It's what you like. We push;
we stretch; we, we go out on a limb.
176
00:11:13,824 --> 00:11:17,089
- That's what makes me good.
- No, that's what makes you unemployed.
177
00:11:21,465 --> 00:11:24,195
All right, let's consider
that, that my wrist has been slapped.
178
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:27,635
All right? There. Slap.
Slap. Go ahead. Just...
179
00:11:27,705 --> 00:11:30,299
Slap my wrist. That's done.
180
00:11:30,374 --> 00:11:34,902
Just give me a call when, you know, you
feel that I have served my time and...
181
00:11:34,979 --> 00:11:36,844
move on.
182
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:41,315
This is permanent, Ike.
183
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:46,480
If you go quietly,
I'll get you severance pay.
184
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,991
I'm sorry, Ike.
185
00:12:21,792 --> 00:12:25,023
- Bob? Honey?
- In the kitchen!
186
00:12:25,096 --> 00:12:27,656
Honey, she canned him! Honey!
187
00:12:27,732 --> 00:12:30,394
Bob, she canned him!
188
00:12:30,468 --> 00:12:32,698
- Yea! What are you talking about?
- Okay, listen, listen!
189
00:12:32,770 --> 00:12:34,362
- It's in the paper!
- Okay, come on. Try this on first.
190
00:12:34,438 --> 00:12:36,599
- Okay.
- All right.
- But I want to read it to you,
so come over this way.
191
00:12:36,674 --> 00:12:38,642
- Okay.
- Okay. Ready?
- Yeah.
192
00:12:38,709 --> 00:12:43,703
"Dear Maggie Carpenter, I apologize
to you for this unfortunate matter..."
193
00:12:43,781 --> 00:12:45,715
Here it is.
Um, "Ike Graham's column...
194
00:12:45,783 --> 00:12:48,650
will no longer
be appearing in this paper.
195
00:12:48,719 --> 00:12:51,187
Best of luck
in your upcoming marriage."
196
00:12:51,255 --> 00:12:53,951
Okay, okay. This is the weight
of the pack you'll be carrying
in the Himalayas.
197
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,618
- Okay.
- You let me know if it's too heavy.
- Okay.
198
00:12:56,694 --> 00:12:59,458
- We'll adjust...
- A little, yeah.
199
00:12:59,530 --> 00:13:01,794
Yeah, a little heavy, baby.
200
00:13:11,242 --> 00:13:13,335
Yeah, hi, it's me.
Leave a message after the beep.
201
00:13:13,411 --> 00:13:16,039
If you want to leave a fax,
buy me a fax machine.
202
00:13:17,948 --> 00:13:20,348
Ike? Fisher. Get up.
203
00:13:20,418 --> 00:13:23,285
I can turn this runaway bride
story around.
204
00:13:23,354 --> 00:13:26,653
I'm doing a photo spread for G.Q.
today by the conveyor belt.
205
00:13:26,724 --> 00:13:30,160
Meet me.
I'll save your tush.
206
00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:32,957
And since I do freelance stuff for G.Q.,
now I have an idea. You see...
207
00:13:33,030 --> 00:13:37,330
- What are you saying?
- Vindication. How would you like some?
208
00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:40,893
A chance to prove that although
your story wasn't entirely factual...
209
00:13:40,971 --> 00:13:43,565
your theory was correct.
210
00:13:43,641 --> 00:13:47,543
- The real story of Miss Carpenter?
- All the gory details.
211
00:13:47,611 --> 00:13:49,579
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
212
00:13:49,647 --> 00:13:52,810
And if she runs again,
you got a cover story.
213
00:13:54,652 --> 00:13:57,177
Oh-oh, here she comes
214
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:59,688
Watch out, boy
She'll chew you up
215
00:13:59,757 --> 00:14:02,225
Oh-oh, here she comes
216
00:14:02,293 --> 00:14:05,319
She's a man-eater
217
00:14:05,396 --> 00:14:08,092
Oh-oh, here she comes
218
00:14:08,165 --> 00:14:10,793
Watch out, boy
She'll chew you up
219
00:14:10,868 --> 00:14:12,927
Oh-oh, here she comes
220
00:14:13,003 --> 00:14:15,938
She's a man-eater
221
00:14:16,006 --> 00:14:18,497
She'll only come out at night
222
00:14:18,576 --> 00:14:21,511
The lean and hungry type
223
00:14:21,579 --> 00:14:25,208
Nothing is new
I've seen her here before
224
00:14:27,051 --> 00:14:29,110
Watching and waiting
225
00:14:29,186 --> 00:14:33,623
Ooh, she's sitting with you
but her eyes are on the door
226
00:14:37,728 --> 00:14:40,288
I wouldn't if I were you
227
00:14:40,364 --> 00:14:44,232
I know what she can do
She's deadly, man
228
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:48,465
She could really
rip your world apart
229
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:50,507
Mind over matter
230
00:14:50,574 --> 00:14:55,978
Ooh, the beauty is there
but a beast is in the heart
231
00:14:56,046 --> 00:14:58,412
There you go.
Right upstairs to the left.
232
00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:02,077
- Thanks. How late's the restaurant open?
- 8:30 every night.
233
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,643
That late, huh?
234
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,532
Cindy, can you 86 Sprout?
235
00:15:15,599 --> 00:15:18,727
He's licking up all the petroleum
distillates I'm trying to put in.
236
00:15:18,802 --> 00:15:22,499
Oh, sorry.
She's an obedience school dropout.
237
00:15:24,074 --> 00:15:26,440
Have a seat?
238
00:15:32,483 --> 00:15:35,350
Thank you. See ya, ladies and gentlemen,
in the hotel on the weekend.
239
00:15:35,419 --> 00:15:39,685
- Yeah.
- Come on, Dad. Hurry up.
240
00:15:39,757 --> 00:15:41,748
Dad, hurry up!
241
00:15:47,097 --> 00:15:49,429
You're a goddess.
You're a goddess!
242
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:53,469
Shazam, I think I'm in Mayberry.
243
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:56,529
I didn't even have to change the gasket.
I just put in some new hydraulic fluid.
244
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:59,508
Stop it. When you talk like that,
it turns me on and frightens me.
245
00:15:59,577 --> 00:16:02,307
- Oh, you turn a girl's head.
- Whoa!
246
00:16:04,281 --> 00:16:05,796
Excuse me. Hello?
247
00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:07,311
Excuse me. Hello?
248
00:16:07,382 --> 00:16:10,681
Hello. Excuse me. Uh, could you he...
I'm, I'm looking for Maggie Carpenter.
249
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:14,449
There was a, uh, a-a note on the door
of the hardware store across the street.
250
00:16:14,523 --> 00:16:16,582
- Are you a reporter?
- What?
251
00:16:16,658 --> 00:16:18,888
It's just been our experience
that anyone...
252
00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:22,021
who comes in here
with tassels on his loafers...
253
00:16:22,097 --> 00:16:25,863
is a big-city reporter wanting to do
an interview with Maggie.
254
00:16:25,934 --> 00:16:28,368
Mm-hmm.
About her upcoming wedding and all.
255
00:16:28,437 --> 00:16:32,237
Actually, about her getting
that asshole from New York fired.
256
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:39,112
I am just such a reporter.
And who are you?
257
00:16:39,181 --> 00:16:42,981
- Peggy Flemming. Not the ice-skater.
- Oh.
258
00:16:43,051 --> 00:16:47,010
- Come in, come in, come in.
- Oh, thank you. And who are
these lovely ladies?
259
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:50,456
- Hi. I'm Cindy,
Maggie's unmarried cousin.
- Hello.
260
00:16:50,525 --> 00:16:53,790
Mrs. Pressman.
No relation. Oh, sorry.
261
00:16:53,862 --> 00:16:56,228
- Uh-huh.
- And you are?
262
00:16:56,298 --> 00:16:58,596
Looking for Maggie.
263
00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:00,760
Maggie, someone to see you.
264
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:13,980
I hope you've got a new angle, because
it's all pretty much been covered.
265
00:17:14,049 --> 00:17:17,507
Hold on. No one interviews Maggie
in here without a haircut.
266
00:17:17,586 --> 00:17:19,611
Sorry. No. Just got one.
267
00:17:19,688 --> 00:17:24,853
Excuse me, sir. I have a fact for you.
It's an actual fact.
268
00:17:24,926 --> 00:17:26,791
Yes, Mrs. Pressman?
269
00:17:26,862 --> 00:17:30,127
You know, this is actually her fourth
wedding, not her seventh like they said.
270
00:17:30,198 --> 00:17:32,826
I know. But tell me something.
Do you think...
271
00:17:32,901 --> 00:17:35,426
Think she's gonna make it
all the way this time?
272
00:17:35,504 --> 00:17:38,837
I don't know.
273
00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:42,674
She swallowed her gum.
She does that.
274
00:17:44,279 --> 00:17:47,407
Mr. Shillian, he runs the newsstand.
He's also our local bookie, you know?
275
00:17:47,482 --> 00:17:50,610
- Ah, yes, yes.
- He's giving eight-to-one odds
that she won't.
276
00:17:50,686 --> 00:17:54,952
- Okay.
- Instead of, of a haircut,
how about a wash?
277
00:17:55,023 --> 00:17:57,992
Get all that city grit
out of your hair.
278
00:17:58,060 --> 00:18:01,791
- You'll answer my questions?
- Mm-hmm.
279
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,593
Fine. You wash, I'll ask.
280
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:07,430
- So.
- I thought it was a very good idea.
- What do you want to know?
281
00:18:07,502 --> 00:18:10,300
- Uh, when's the big day?
- A week from Sunday.
282
00:18:10,372 --> 00:18:13,398
Let's just put this,
um, up here like this.
283
00:18:13,475 --> 00:18:16,308
- Because this aromatherapy
can get a little strong.
- Okay. All right.
284
00:18:16,378 --> 00:18:19,814
- The lavender...
We don't want to put you to sleep.
- Mmm. You nervous?
285
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:22,441
No. I've never been more certain
of anything in my life...
286
00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:27,477
except I've been having
all kinds of weird dreams.
287
00:18:27,556 --> 00:18:32,323
- Uh-huh. Would you like
to tell me about 'em?
- Uh, yeah, sure.
288
00:18:32,394 --> 00:18:35,022
- And another one...
- Hey, Pete, I'll be right with ya.
289
00:18:35,097 --> 00:18:38,624
I-I-I go inside the church,
and everyone I know is there.
290
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:41,362
- And the creepiest part is
I look down at my dress...
- Mm-hmm.
291
00:18:41,436 --> 00:18:43,267
and it's red.
292
00:18:43,338 --> 00:18:46,398
I don't know what that means.
Red is not my color!
293
00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:50,344
What do you think?
294
00:18:50,412 --> 00:18:52,903
- I think you'd look good in red.
- No, no.
295
00:18:54,683 --> 00:18:58,312
She means, about your hair.
296
00:19:07,095 --> 00:19:09,859
My jacket, please.
297
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,899
Thank you.
298
00:19:13,201 --> 00:19:15,795
Excuse me, sir. Do you know
where I can get some shampoo?
299
00:19:15,871 --> 00:19:19,807
- Some strong shampoo.
- Doc's Pharmacy. Third and Elm.
300
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:23,470
- Thanks.
- Uh, tell 'em Pete sent you.
Uh, you want my hat?
301
00:19:23,545 --> 00:19:27,106
No. No, I'm fine.
You might need it.
302
00:19:35,056 --> 00:19:38,583
Mr. Graham, if you're looking
for Elm Street, it's that way.
303
00:19:40,529 --> 00:19:43,692
- Thank you.
- You know, if you came down here
in the pursuit of happiness...
304
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:46,495
you might as well go back,
because you can't make me feel bad.
305
00:19:46,568 --> 00:19:51,164
Look, I'm not trying to make you
feel bad. I'm here for vindication.
306
00:19:51,239 --> 00:19:54,333
In my heart,
I feel I'm right about you.
307
00:19:56,011 --> 00:19:58,172
You got me fired, lady.
308
00:19:58,246 --> 00:20:02,945
You destroyed my reputation,
and you screwed up my hair.
309
00:20:03,018 --> 00:20:05,953
You chew up men,
spit 'em out and love it.
310
00:20:06,021 --> 00:20:08,751
You're gonna do the same thing
to this poor schmuck number four...
311
00:20:08,824 --> 00:20:12,021
that you did
to the previous three.
312
00:20:12,093 --> 00:20:16,029
You're gonna run again,
and I'm not leaving until you do.
313
00:20:17,566 --> 00:20:21,832
I'd love to stay and chat,
but I still have my job.
314
00:20:29,277 --> 00:20:31,211
Hey, kid, kid, kid, kid, kid.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
315
00:20:31,279 --> 00:20:33,247
- I'll give you ten bucks for the hat.
- Sure.
316
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,840
That's right.
317
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:45,619
Hey.
318
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:54,359
I'm tellin' you,
that is a photo opportunity.
319
00:20:54,436 --> 00:20:58,236
You know, when I only see one dog,
I know I've had too much to drink.
320
00:20:59,941 --> 00:21:02,205
Hey, you'll never guess...
321
00:21:02,277 --> 00:21:06,475
who came crawling into town
with his tail between his legs.
322
00:21:06,548 --> 00:21:10,712
Who? Hello, Maggie.
323
00:21:11,786 --> 00:21:14,721
I just came over
to apologize to your family.
324
00:21:14,789 --> 00:21:17,314
You know,
when I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
325
00:21:17,392 --> 00:21:19,519
I pushed a story.
I-I made a mistake.
326
00:21:19,594 --> 00:21:23,496
In other words, he's only human.
And he brought us a bottle of wine.
327
00:21:25,333 --> 00:21:28,734
- They made me put my hat back on.
- Yeah. Scared the hell out of Skipper.
328
00:21:31,673 --> 00:21:35,165
- You've gotta be kidding me.
- No, no. You should've seen
Skipper. He's like...
329
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:39,040
Skipper goes...
330
00:21:39,114 --> 00:21:41,878
Like that.
331
00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:44,851
- It wasn't that funny.
- Mm-hmm.
332
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,980
Well, actually it's been quite amusing.
Walter here has been sharing...
333
00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:50,923
his father-of-the-bride
wedding memories.
334
00:21:50,992 --> 00:21:53,085
You know what?
335
00:21:53,161 --> 00:21:56,096
I think I'll take this
to the kitchen.
336
00:21:58,166 --> 00:22:00,999
I'll help you bring it
into the kitchen.
337
00:22:01,069 --> 00:22:03,299
- Check on the crabs, Bob.
- Okay.
338
00:22:03,371 --> 00:22:06,499
- Is he staying for dinner?
- Well, I don't know. I mean...
339
00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:10,602
I hope they don't have a fight in there.
You don't think they'd
call it off, do you?
340
00:22:10,679 --> 00:22:14,581
Wedding cake freezes.
This we know.
341
00:22:14,649 --> 00:22:17,015
You know, your daughter is such a...
342
00:22:17,085 --> 00:22:19,918
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, no, no, that's all right, Grammy.
343
00:22:19,988 --> 00:22:23,151
Tha-That's fine. That's fine.
She's such a lovely girl.
344
00:22:23,224 --> 00:22:26,421
Yeah. Well,
like her mother. Look.
345
00:22:26,494 --> 00:22:28,462
May she rest in peace.
346
00:22:28,530 --> 00:22:31,363
We were all so proud of Maggie
when she was in school.
347
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,925
She won that American Legion
scholarship to college.
348
00:22:35,003 --> 00:22:36,800
She studied industrial design.
349
00:22:36,871 --> 00:22:40,637
I can't see her leaving multiple grooms
in the dust like that.
350
00:22:40,709 --> 00:22:43,644
Oh, yes, you can.
She's got it all on tape.
351
00:22:46,114 --> 00:22:49,948
- Tape?
- Yeah, they're, they're all right there.
352
00:22:50,018 --> 00:22:53,215
- You got tapes of the wedding?
- Yeah, well, Lee at the hotel
videos weddings.
353
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:57,952
- Oh.
- Of course, Maggie didn't know she was
gonna be runnin' the hundred-yard dash.
354
00:22:58,026 --> 00:23:00,893
I gotta say this for my daughter:
She makes real good time.
355
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:04,557
- Bingo!
- Maggie may not be Hale's
longest-running joke...
356
00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:06,999
but she is certainly the fastest.
357
00:23:12,507 --> 00:23:15,999
You know, Maggie's mom and I
were only blessed with one child.
358
00:23:16,077 --> 00:23:19,911
- Not for a lack of trying.
- Oh, this is good, Dad.
Don't leave anything out.
359
00:23:21,016 --> 00:23:23,007
I frankly consider it a bonus...
360
00:23:25,787 --> 00:23:29,416
that I'm actually able to plan
and, uh, pay for so many weddings.
361
00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:32,688
Not this one.
This one's on me.
362
00:23:32,761 --> 00:23:35,059
Ohhh, that's fair.
363
00:23:35,130 --> 00:23:37,928
I don't do it on purpose,
despite what you may think...
364
00:23:37,999 --> 00:23:39,694
and I have no intention
of doing it again.
365
00:23:39,768 --> 00:23:43,898
- That's right, Maggie.
Just keep your eye on the ball.
- Mm-hmm.
366
00:23:43,972 --> 00:23:47,305
Sports psychology.
367
00:23:47,375 --> 00:23:51,835
Bob is the, um, head of the
P.E. department at the high school...
368
00:23:51,913 --> 00:23:55,576
and he coaches the football team,
and he's climbed Everest.
369
00:23:57,886 --> 00:23:59,751
- Everest?
- Twice.
370
00:23:59,821 --> 00:24:02,255
- This true?
- Without oxygen.
371
00:24:02,323 --> 00:24:06,521
- My girl, she likes to brag about me.
- I do.
372
00:24:06,594 --> 00:24:09,995
Maggie's training
for our wedding night.
373
00:24:10,065 --> 00:24:12,295
I'm taking her trekking
on Anapurna for our honeymoon.
374
00:24:12,367 --> 00:24:15,598
- Oh, how romantic!
- We think so.
375
00:24:15,670 --> 00:24:20,174
Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed
with two sherpas and a yak.
376
00:24:25,813 --> 00:24:27,906
Hey, Ike. How's it goin'?
377
00:24:27,982 --> 00:24:31,884
You won't believe what I'm looking at
here. I got a video...
378
00:24:31,953 --> 00:24:34,285
of all three train wrecks.
379
00:24:34,355 --> 00:24:38,086
Here's my bride who's my pride.
380
00:24:38,159 --> 00:24:40,457
I'll never hide
when she's by my side.
381
00:24:40,528 --> 00:24:43,895
This is for you, Maggie,
my sugar magnolia.
382
00:24:43,965 --> 00:24:47,457
Do you want the truth?
You want the facts?
383
00:24:47,535 --> 00:24:49,594
I got 'em.
384
00:24:52,874 --> 00:24:54,967
Yeah, I'll send you
a copy of the notes.
385
00:24:55,043 --> 00:24:57,034
Good weekend reading for you.
Yeah, bye.
386
00:24:57,111 --> 00:24:59,545
And, uh, love to Ellie.
Okay, bye.
387
00:25:02,150 --> 00:25:05,051
Sweet blossom
Come on under the willow
388
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:08,088
We can have high times
if you'll abide
389
00:25:08,156 --> 00:25:10,989
We can discover
the wonders of nature
390
00:25:11,059 --> 00:25:14,460
Rolling in the bushes
down by the riverside
391
00:25:17,231 --> 00:25:20,132
She's got everything delightful
392
00:25:20,201 --> 00:25:23,102
She's got everything I need
393
00:25:23,171 --> 00:25:26,197
Takes the wheel
when I'm seein' double
394
00:25:26,274 --> 00:25:28,936
Pays my ticket when I speed
395
00:25:33,648 --> 00:25:35,513
Okay, Preacher man, let's go.
396
00:25:35,583 --> 00:25:38,916
- Uh-oh.
- Maggie? Maggie, where, where you goin'?
397
00:25:38,987 --> 00:25:41,217
- Sam!
- Maggie?
- Sam, quick. Get back on the bike.
398
00:25:41,289 --> 00:25:45,623
- Get back on the bike.
- Okay, but how was the wedding?
- Shorter than we planned. Just go.
399
00:25:47,195 --> 00:25:49,857
Okay. Peace, baby!
400
00:26:36,644 --> 00:26:38,942
- Where is she goin'?
- Look, she's leaving.
401
00:26:39,013 --> 00:26:41,038
- Where's she goin'?
- She forgot her purse.
402
00:26:41,115 --> 00:26:43,675
No, she didn't forget her purse.
403
00:26:43,751 --> 00:26:46,811
Well, go after her!
Do something!
404
00:26:50,892 --> 00:26:53,292
I don't believe it.
405
00:27:15,049 --> 00:27:19,076
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today...
406
00:27:19,153 --> 00:27:22,350
Uh, could we hold
the horse, please?
407
00:27:22,423 --> 00:27:24,891
What's wrong with the horse?
408
00:27:24,959 --> 00:27:28,520
The horse seems
more jittery than the bride.
409
00:27:55,490 --> 00:27:57,458
I like the, uh, white tuxedo.
410
00:27:57,525 --> 00:27:59,584
Yeah, but he's no good,
'cause he's too blond.
411
00:27:59,660 --> 00:28:02,686
All right. Well, then, we just go
with something very traditional.
412
00:28:02,763 --> 00:28:04,890
- He's handsome.
- Yeah.
413
00:28:04,966 --> 00:28:07,400
Maybe a little too dark for Bob.
414
00:28:07,468 --> 00:28:10,403
Yeah, but he's got
the Bobster's eyes.
415
00:28:10,471 --> 00:28:13,167
No. No, no, no.
No, Bobster's eyes, closer set.
416
00:28:13,241 --> 00:28:16,074
- Yeah. Hello.
- Oh, hi.
- Oh, hi.
417
00:28:16,144 --> 00:28:18,578
- Hi. Uh, could I have
two cups of coffee?
- Yes.
418
00:28:18,646 --> 00:28:22,104
And... Mmm!
What is that wonderful smell?
419
00:28:22,183 --> 00:28:24,708
Th-Th... Oh, the cinnamon rolls.
420
00:28:24,785 --> 00:28:27,151
- Could I have two of those also?
- Yeah, sure.
- Thank you.
421
00:28:27,221 --> 00:28:30,713
Okay. Uh, Maggie,
I think this makes the best you.
422
00:28:30,791 --> 00:28:34,386
- Okay.
- Oh, let's see.
423
00:28:35,163 --> 00:28:38,326
Oh, look at that. Excuse me.
424
00:28:39,467 --> 00:28:42,129
Ohhh, look at that.
425
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:49,606
Oh! Ow! Ow! Help me! Help me!
426
00:28:51,779 --> 00:28:53,644
Yep, that'd be her.
427
00:28:55,683 --> 00:29:00,211
- You must be that Mr. Graham fellow.
- Yes, I am. And you are?
428
00:29:00,288 --> 00:29:03,155
- I'm Betty Trout.
- Hi, Betty!
429
00:29:03,224 --> 00:29:06,557
- Okay. I guess you'll be
the one making the cake.
- Yes.
430
00:29:06,627 --> 00:29:08,060
- Yeah.
- I am.
431
00:29:08,129 --> 00:29:10,063
- Sure.
- And, and I'm also told that...
- Uh... Oh.
432
00:29:10,131 --> 00:29:14,067
- that you will, you will be throwing a...
- I'm throwing the luau for Maggie.
433
00:29:14,135 --> 00:29:16,933
- Yeah.
- A pre-wedding luau.
434
00:29:17,004 --> 00:29:19,097
So if you're still in town,
you should stop by.
435
00:29:19,173 --> 00:29:21,164
No. No, he doesn't want to come.
436
00:29:21,242 --> 00:29:23,870
I'd love to come.
437
00:29:23,945 --> 00:29:26,539
- I will be there. Thank you so much.
- Is that what you're gonna do now?
438
00:29:26,614 --> 00:29:30,516
Are you just gonna follow me
around everywhere I go?
439
00:29:30,585 --> 00:29:35,022
No. I'll be back, Betty.
440
00:29:35,089 --> 00:29:38,422
- Bye, Mr. Graham.
- He's not a nice person.
441
00:29:38,492 --> 00:29:43,555
- Oh, uh, well, I know.
- That's my pick. The eyes are perfect.
442
00:29:44,532 --> 00:29:47,933
We always win! We never fail!
443
00:29:48,002 --> 00:29:50,835
We're the Comets,
so go to Hale!
444
00:29:50,905 --> 00:29:54,033
Let's go, Comets! Let's go!
445
00:29:54,108 --> 00:29:56,804
Let's go, Comets! Let's go!
446
00:29:56,877 --> 00:30:00,574
- Hi, Miss Carpenter.
- Hey, Kendall.
447
00:30:00,648 --> 00:30:04,414
Maggie, don't marry Coach.
Marry me.
448
00:30:04,485 --> 00:30:06,612
- I love you.
- You're jailbait, Dennis.
449
00:30:06,687 --> 00:30:10,282
Go away. Go away!
Run your laps! Go! Go, go!
450
00:30:11,592 --> 00:30:14,527
Drive! Drive! Drive!
Drive from the hips! From the hips!
451
00:30:14,595 --> 00:30:17,689
Keep it low, men! Keep it low!
452
00:30:17,765 --> 00:30:21,895
Good job, gentlemen! Good job.
All right, special teams! Special teams!
453
00:30:21,969 --> 00:30:24,631
Hey, honey. How are you?
454
00:30:24,705 --> 00:30:28,368
Good. What is he up to now?
455
00:30:28,442 --> 00:30:31,206
Ah, Ike just dropped by
to check out the team.
456
00:30:31,279 --> 00:30:34,248
- Oh.
- And to talk about you.
- Aw!
457
00:30:34,315 --> 00:30:36,545
- Yes!
- You aren't making friends
with this man, are you?
458
00:30:36,617 --> 00:30:39,313
Aw, honey, I'm just,
I'm just bragging about...
459
00:30:39,387 --> 00:30:42,982
how good you are and how
I'm the luckiest man alive.
460
00:30:43,057 --> 00:30:46,254
- Mm-hmm!
- Sweet.
461
00:30:48,462 --> 00:30:53,195
Well, I better be moving.
Got a lot of work to do today.
462
00:30:53,267 --> 00:30:55,827
- All right.
- See you two lovebirds later.
- See you at the weddin'.
463
00:30:55,903 --> 00:30:58,235
Yeah. Thanks for
the jacket, Coach.
464
00:30:58,306 --> 00:31:03,869
- You invited him to the wedding?
- Go, go, Comets! Let's go!
Go, go, Comets!
465
00:31:03,944 --> 00:31:06,276
- Let's go!
- Don't you realize that he's
writing another article about me?
466
00:31:06,347 --> 00:31:08,747
Well, sure, I do,
but you're not runnin'.
467
00:31:08,816 --> 00:31:12,809
Come on. Give me some
of that homemade sunshine.
468
00:31:12,887 --> 00:31:17,085
Boys! Take my princess
for a ride on her chariot.
469
00:31:17,658 --> 00:31:21,890
Oh, my God! Oh, my...
470
00:31:25,966 --> 00:31:28,161
Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
471
00:31:28,235 --> 00:31:32,729
My last confession was...
Oh... Anyway.
472
00:31:32,807 --> 00:31:35,571
I have sort of
a technical question.
473
00:31:35,643 --> 00:31:38,669
I've been having bad thoughts.
474
00:31:38,746 --> 00:31:41,510
Really bad thoughts.
475
00:31:41,582 --> 00:31:45,382
- Of an impure nature?
- No, no. Uh...
476
00:31:45,453 --> 00:31:48,752
I want to destroy this man's
life, career, everything.
477
00:31:48,823 --> 00:31:50,916
I want revenge.
478
00:31:50,991 --> 00:31:53,926
Now, on the sin scale,
how bad is that?
479
00:31:53,994 --> 00:31:57,430
Can I "Hail Mary"
my way out of that?
480
00:31:57,498 --> 00:32:00,990
- My child, any sin in one's heart is...
- The name is Maggie.
481
00:32:01,068 --> 00:32:03,593
It was this side of ten years ago
you had your tongue down my throat.
482
00:32:03,671 --> 00:32:06,435
So don't "my child" me, Brian, okay?
It annoys me.
483
00:32:06,507 --> 00:32:09,806
- Look, look, Mag. Don't get so upset.
- You watch it! Hey, hey!
484
00:32:09,877 --> 00:32:12,209
Don't... Hey, Brian,
talk to me! Brian!
485
00:32:12,279 --> 00:32:14,679
- I need to talk to you!
- Maggie. Maggie. Maggie.
- Oh. Oh.
486
00:32:14,749 --> 00:32:17,616
- You're not even Catholic,
so you really shouldn't be here.
- I'm-I'm sorry.
487
00:32:17,685 --> 00:32:21,451
I'm just, I'm just so stressed out about
this slimeball reporter being in town...
488
00:32:21,522 --> 00:32:24,047
and I wanted to come and tell you
that he might stop by here...
489
00:32:24,125 --> 00:32:26,116
and ask you all kinds
of ridiculous questions.
490
00:32:26,193 --> 00:32:30,960
Well, he only actually
asked me one ridiculous question,
and the rest really weren't so bad.
491
00:32:31,031 --> 00:32:34,558
What? Oh, you talked to him?
492
00:32:34,635 --> 00:32:38,401
Oh, did you tell him that we dated
before you were a priest?
493
00:32:38,472 --> 00:32:41,964
Of course. But, you know,
I think I only did you good.
494
00:32:42,042 --> 00:32:44,943
W-W-What exactly did he ask?
495
00:32:45,012 --> 00:32:47,879
- I...
- Am I too late, Father?
- No, no.
496
00:32:47,948 --> 00:32:51,475
- It won't take long. Just two minutes.
- Okay, yeah.
497
00:32:51,552 --> 00:32:53,486
Um, just respectful things.
498
00:32:53,554 --> 00:32:57,718
Uh, what kind of music did you like?
What did we have in common back then?
499
00:32:57,792 --> 00:33:01,592
Did you ruin my life
when you left me at the altar?
500
00:33:01,662 --> 00:33:04,153
Oh. What did you say?
501
00:33:04,231 --> 00:33:06,722
I said, you know,
"How could I be angry...
502
00:33:06,801 --> 00:33:11,761
when this is clearly as God
intended for it to be for me?"
503
00:33:11,839 --> 00:33:15,172
Good one! Thanks.
504
00:33:15,242 --> 00:33:19,269
But actually it's-it's really,
really how I feel.
505
00:33:21,982 --> 00:33:25,440
Of course. God, yes.
Not God.
506
00:33:25,519 --> 00:33:28,283
Uh, I'm sorry.
I better go.
507
00:33:28,355 --> 00:33:31,916
The man is a lunatic, but I think
I know exactly where he's going next.
508
00:33:31,992 --> 00:33:34,153
God bless.
509
00:33:35,696 --> 00:33:38,961
Oh, my purse.
I forgot my purse.
510
00:33:40,201 --> 00:33:42,726
Um, hi. Thanks. Sorry.
511
00:33:42,803 --> 00:33:44,964
Purse. Good luck.
512
00:33:45,039 --> 00:33:48,372
Uh, what was the one
ridiculous question that he asked?
513
00:33:48,442 --> 00:33:50,967
Oh, he wanted to know
how you liked your eggs?
514
00:33:51,045 --> 00:33:55,709
Oh. Weird. Like a person's
gonna remember after all this time.
515
00:33:55,783 --> 00:33:59,810
Scrambled with salt,
pepper and dill. Same as me.
516
00:34:03,924 --> 00:34:06,290
I'm sorry I hurt you, Brian.
517
00:34:07,895 --> 00:34:12,059
Maggie, I-I'm happy now here.
It's where I'm supposed to be.
518
00:34:12,132 --> 00:34:15,795
But if you ever do decide
to become a Catholic...
519
00:34:15,870 --> 00:34:18,532
will you do me this favor...
confess to Father Patrick?
520
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,035
Of course.
521
00:34:35,556 --> 00:34:38,354
- Gill? Lydia?
- Mags!
522
00:34:38,425 --> 00:34:40,450
Hey, look! The tape!
523
00:34:40,528 --> 00:34:43,463
Remember, Radio City
Music Hall concert...
524
00:34:43,531 --> 00:34:46,500
when Jerry was on Ripple and I'm
going like, "Dude, let me jam!"
525
00:34:46,567 --> 00:34:49,001
- Yeah! I'll, I'll play it for you.
- Uh, Gill, listen. Um...
526
00:34:49,069 --> 00:34:51,594
- You remember, Maggie. You were there.
- Can you focus on me?
527
00:34:51,672 --> 00:34:54,835
There's this reporter
who's making my life a living hell.
528
00:34:54,909 --> 00:34:58,538
- Okay.
- And whatever you do...
529
00:34:58,612 --> 00:35:02,639
do not show him that picture of me
from the concert in San Francisco.
530
00:35:02,716 --> 00:35:05,685
Okay? Can you...
531
00:35:05,753 --> 00:35:08,051
- What is that?
- Um...
532
00:35:08,122 --> 00:35:09,282
- Huh?
- Wait. San Francisco. Wait.
533
00:35:09,356 --> 00:35:11,483
But we went there a few times.
There's a lot of pictures.
534
00:35:11,559 --> 00:35:14,426
Which picture? Because one time
we had a flat tire, you remember?
535
00:35:14,495 --> 00:35:18,693
- Then we switched...
- Imagine, Maggie Carpenter...
536
00:35:18,766 --> 00:35:22,031
topless in a public arena.
537
00:35:25,439 --> 00:35:30,001
I see it was a very chilly evening.
Mm-hmm.
538
00:35:31,111 --> 00:35:33,409
You son of a...
539
00:35:34,582 --> 00:35:38,609
You know, what's really
interesting about this, though,
is that you can't see...
540
00:35:38,686 --> 00:35:42,383
that rose tattoo on your back.
541
00:35:43,958 --> 00:35:47,758
Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, Ike bet me
50 bucks you don't still have it.
542
00:35:47,828 --> 00:35:51,355
I said, "You're on, man!
Maggie loved that thing."
543
00:35:51,432 --> 00:35:54,526
And, Maggie, seriously,
I mean, I-I could use 50 bucks.
544
00:35:54,602 --> 00:35:57,730
- Mm-hmm.
- Maggie.
545
00:35:57,805 --> 00:35:59,773
Just...
546
00:36:03,043 --> 00:36:05,307
Uh, look, I'm not gonna show
you guys anything.
547
00:36:05,379 --> 00:36:09,907
I-I am a soon-to-be-married woman,
so just give me the photograph.
548
00:36:09,984 --> 00:36:11,611
I would love to give you this.
Believe me, I would.
549
00:36:11,685 --> 00:36:15,587
Just give us a quick gander
at that rose...
550
00:36:15,656 --> 00:36:17,590
and I'll gladly
turn it over to you.
551
00:36:17,658 --> 00:36:22,095
Fine. Heh. Fine, okay? Fine.
552
00:36:22,162 --> 00:36:25,427
Okay? All right? Satisfied?
553
00:36:25,499 --> 00:36:27,433
Completely.
554
00:36:27,501 --> 00:36:31,995
- Maggie, you got it removed?
- Gill.
555
00:36:32,072 --> 00:36:35,508
Gill, I'll go you double or nothing
it was a stick-on.
556
00:36:38,779 --> 00:36:40,770
Maggie?
557
00:36:43,417 --> 00:36:47,285
Gill, I am, uh, really...
558
00:36:47,354 --> 00:36:50,846
really afraid of needles.
559
00:36:50,924 --> 00:36:53,688
- But that doesn't make me
a bad person. I just...
- Look.
560
00:36:53,761 --> 00:36:56,787
Look. Look!
561
00:36:56,864 --> 00:37:00,425
- I think this man is heartbroken.
- No, he's not.
562
00:37:00,501 --> 00:37:03,163
I think I am.
563
00:37:03,237 --> 00:37:07,469
No, you're, you're, you're not. You
have your guitar, and you have Lydia.
564
00:37:07,541 --> 00:37:09,907
You're not...
565
00:37:11,745 --> 00:37:14,339
We'll talk about this
later, okay?
566
00:37:20,521 --> 00:37:22,751
Hey, Ike?
567
00:37:22,823 --> 00:37:26,088
- What would Jerry do?
- He'd play.
568
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,924
- Jerry would play.
- He would play.
569
00:37:41,408 --> 00:37:45,845
Wow, there's Ike with the mayor
and the police chief.
570
00:37:45,913 --> 00:37:49,815
Boy, he sure makes friends easy.
That's pretty cool.
571
00:37:57,925 --> 00:38:00,257
- Oh, yeah! Excellent!
- Yeah! All right!
572
00:38:05,733 --> 00:38:07,792
- Hey, you're that reporter, right?
- Yeah.
573
00:38:07,868 --> 00:38:12,567
There he is again.
Snoop Doggy Dogg.
574
00:38:12,639 --> 00:38:15,870
- I'm going to marry Maggie someday.
- Oh, really?
575
00:38:15,943 --> 00:38:19,379
He's an attractive man.
576
00:38:19,446 --> 00:38:21,380
The vicious reporter is attractive?
577
00:38:21,448 --> 00:38:23,313
- Well...
- You're saying viciousness
is attractive to you?
578
00:38:23,383 --> 00:38:26,580
- No, I'm not saying
viciousness is attractive.
- That's very telling.
579
00:38:29,156 --> 00:38:31,522
- Do you think that...
Oh, okay, he's coming.
- Okay, I'll go...
580
00:38:31,592 --> 00:38:34,993
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Don't! Don't leave. Don't leave.
Uh, okay, act natural.
581
00:38:35,062 --> 00:38:37,553
- Okay.
- Um, he can probably read lips.
582
00:38:37,631 --> 00:38:42,227
Hey, the famous Swenson triplets.
Give me 15. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done.
583
00:38:42,302 --> 00:38:45,601
- I will handle this.
- Don't move your lips. Okay? Keep going.
584
00:38:45,672 --> 00:38:47,503
- I will handle this.
- Okay.
585
00:38:47,574 --> 00:38:51,601
- I won't say anything. I'll handle it.
- Okay. Okay, good.
586
00:38:54,081 --> 00:38:57,608
Yeah, Cory!
587
00:38:57,684 --> 00:38:59,276
- Hey, Peggy Flemming.
- Hey.
588
00:38:59,353 --> 00:39:01,913
- Not the ice-skater.
- Hey, that's Maggie's seat.
589
00:39:01,989 --> 00:39:05,083
Yeah, so this must be
her beer too. Mmm.
590
00:39:05,159 --> 00:39:08,492
- Hey!
- Hey, sweetie!
591
00:39:08,562 --> 00:39:11,531
- Is this your husband out here?
- Yeah.
- This is Cory?
592
00:39:11,598 --> 00:39:15,125
Cory Flemming? Uh, he's a, uh,
radio announcer here, isn't he?
593
00:39:15,202 --> 00:39:18,638
Yeah, that's right. Have you heard
his morning show, Wake Up With Flem?
594
00:39:21,175 --> 00:39:26,636
- Not yet.
- Now up, Atlantic Hotel's
Lee Thistlehorn.
595
00:39:26,713 --> 00:39:29,204
- He actually made
the all-stars in high school.
- Really?
596
00:39:29,283 --> 00:39:31,148
- Yeah.
- God, you must be very proud of him.
597
00:39:31,218 --> 00:39:33,152
Well, I didn't really
know him back then.
598
00:39:33,220 --> 00:39:37,054
- I mean, he was actually
dating Maggie...
- Grab me a soda!
599
00:39:37,124 --> 00:39:39,149
at the time. I mean...
600
00:39:39,226 --> 00:39:41,160
He... He-He never really...
601
00:39:41,228 --> 00:39:43,389
I mean, they were never
gonna get engaged or anything.
602
00:39:43,463 --> 00:39:45,431
- No, no.
- I mean, he just...
it was just like, you know...
603
00:39:45,499 --> 00:39:47,933
sometimes he'd all her "Magpie,"
and it was really irritating.
604
00:39:48,001 --> 00:39:50,868
- Magpie?
- But it...
605
00:39:50,938 --> 00:39:54,499
- I don't know why I'm telling you this.
- No, i-it's good. This is good.
606
00:39:55,576 --> 00:39:57,874
- He's stealing third!
- Yes!
607
00:40:01,515 --> 00:40:03,483
Excellent!
608
00:40:05,919 --> 00:40:08,319
Yes! Yes! Whoo!
609
00:40:09,756 --> 00:40:12,088
Safe!
610
00:40:12,159 --> 00:40:14,753
I love it!
611
00:40:14,828 --> 00:40:18,389
- Yea!
- Good one!
- Magpie!
612
00:40:21,501 --> 00:40:24,265
- Just...
- Excellent!
613
00:40:26,006 --> 00:40:29,874
It's nice that, um,
they're still friends.
614
00:40:32,245 --> 00:40:34,270
Yeah, I mean, that was
just a long time ago.
615
00:40:34,347 --> 00:40:36,941
- Yeah.
- And, you know, it's just...
616
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,445
So, excuse me.
617
00:40:42,522 --> 00:40:45,719
- You all right?
- Yeah.
- That makes it Alumni: 9...
618
00:40:45,792 --> 00:40:47,726
Hale Students: 8.
619
00:40:47,794 --> 00:40:51,389
- Hey, Peggy!
- Hey!
620
00:40:51,465 --> 00:40:56,402
Cookies for today's game
were donated by Betty Trout.
621
00:40:57,738 --> 00:41:01,765
Now up for the Comets,
George Hill.
622
00:41:01,842 --> 00:41:04,208
You have been here, what, like
three minutes? What did you do to her?
623
00:41:04,277 --> 00:41:07,678
- What?
- You can just turn that finger around.
624
00:41:07,748 --> 00:41:10,842
- Excuse me?
- Pfft, pfft! Oh, Cory, Cory, Cory!
625
00:41:10,917 --> 00:41:13,477
Bam, bam, bam, bam!
What is that? What is this about?
626
00:41:13,553 --> 00:41:16,488
You know what? We have all
been friends our entire lives.
627
00:41:16,556 --> 00:41:19,354
A type of relationship that
you obviously don't understand.
628
00:41:19,426 --> 00:41:23,863
Look, I'm not the only one
who does not understand.
629
00:41:23,930 --> 00:41:27,366
The U.S.S. Maggie
leaves quite a wake.
630
00:41:27,434 --> 00:41:30,801
- Excuse me.
- Oh, yeah!
631
00:41:33,774 --> 00:41:37,141
Pot-stirrer man.
632
00:41:43,884 --> 00:41:46,944
Cory Flemming to Lee Vendelhorn,
to shortstop...
633
00:41:47,020 --> 00:41:50,717
- John Glen.
- Lee! All right!
634
00:41:50,791 --> 00:41:53,817
That's cheering.
I'm cheering normal.
635
00:41:53,894 --> 00:41:56,829
Cheer normal.
636
00:41:58,999 --> 00:42:01,661
- Good morning, Peggy!
- Good morning.
637
00:42:13,013 --> 00:42:15,573
Do you think I flirt with Cory?
638
00:42:17,350 --> 00:42:21,912
Good morning to you too.
You look good.
639
00:42:21,988 --> 00:42:26,948
Thank you.
Do you think I flirt with Cory?
640
00:42:27,027 --> 00:42:30,394
- Yes.
- I don't mean to.
641
00:42:30,463 --> 00:42:34,399
I know. I think sometimes
you just sort of...
642
00:42:34,467 --> 00:42:37,493
spaz out with excess
flirtatious energy...
643
00:42:37,571 --> 00:42:41,029
and it just lands
on anything male that moves.
644
00:42:41,107 --> 00:42:43,871
"Anything male that moves"?
645
00:42:43,944 --> 00:42:47,380
As opposed to anything male
that doesn't?
646
00:42:48,915 --> 00:42:52,407
Well, like certain kinds of coral.
647
00:42:54,020 --> 00:42:56,750
- I'm definitely gonna
have to kill myself today.
- Why?
648
00:42:56,823 --> 00:43:01,226
Because you think I'm all like,
"Hey, man, check me out!"
649
00:43:01,294 --> 00:43:06,027
No, I don't.
I think you're like...
650
00:43:06,099 --> 00:43:10,001
"I'm charming and mysterious in a way
that even I don't understand...
651
00:43:10,070 --> 00:43:15,940
and something about me is crying out
for protection from a big man like you."
652
00:43:16,009 --> 00:43:19,001
It's very hard to compete with,
especially as...
653
00:43:19,079 --> 00:43:22,515
married women
who've lost our mystery.
654
00:43:22,582 --> 00:43:25,915
Lost... You have...
You are totally mysterious!
655
00:43:25,986 --> 00:43:28,147
No. I'm weird.
656
00:43:28,221 --> 00:43:31,884
Weird and mysterious
are two very different things.
657
00:43:31,958 --> 00:43:35,485
- I'm weird.
- No. You're quirky.
658
00:43:35,562 --> 00:43:40,226
Quirky and weird
are two very different things.
659
00:43:42,302 --> 00:43:46,398
Peggy, I think there is
a distinct possibility...
660
00:43:46,473 --> 00:43:50,967
that I am profoundly
and irreversibly screwed up.
661
00:43:52,879 --> 00:43:55,780
Despite that, I love you...
662
00:43:55,849 --> 00:44:00,548
and I promise to
no longer flirt with Cory.
663
00:44:02,055 --> 00:44:05,252
Maggie, I'm not worried
about you and Cory...
664
00:44:05,325 --> 00:44:07,259
or, or, or me and Cory...
665
00:44:07,327 --> 00:44:11,821
or, or you being
irreversibly screwed up.
666
00:44:11,898 --> 00:44:15,163
Maggie, you've been like this
since we were kids...
667
00:44:15,235 --> 00:44:19,672
and all I'm thinkin' is,
now that you're aware of it...
668
00:44:19,739 --> 00:44:22,902
and that it hurts
people's feelings sometimes...
669
00:44:22,976 --> 00:44:27,003
maybe it's time to get on with life
and commit to someone of your own...
670
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:30,914
like Bob, if he's the one.
671
00:44:30,984 --> 00:44:32,918
I know.
672
00:44:36,523 --> 00:44:40,857
Is there anything I can do
to make it up to you?
673
00:44:40,927 --> 00:44:44,090
Well, there's always...
674
00:44:44,164 --> 00:44:48,157
the thing that brings
warmth to my heart...
675
00:44:48,234 --> 00:44:49,997
and that is
duck-billed platypus.
676
00:44:50,070 --> 00:44:54,302
Uh, duck-billed... That is only funny
in, like, C-Camp Birchwood on a...
677
00:44:54,374 --> 00:44:56,069
- Just do it. Do it.
- trip with the tent...
678
00:44:56,142 --> 00:44:58,940
and my leg as the pole,
and it's raining and...
679
00:44:59,012 --> 00:45:03,642
- You know, that's
the only time that's funny.
- Let's just see.
680
00:45:17,797 --> 00:45:22,530
- That's so humiliating.
- Thank you.
681
00:45:24,304 --> 00:45:26,499
Thank you.
682
00:45:26,639 --> 00:45:28,971
Farewell, ladies
683
00:45:29,042 --> 00:45:33,536
Farewell, ladies
We're going to leave you now
684
00:45:33,613 --> 00:45:37,549
Merrily we roll along
Roll along, roll along
685
00:45:37,617 --> 00:45:41,917
- Merrily we roll along
- Lee. Hey, wake up! Hey!
686
00:45:41,988 --> 00:45:45,219
- Hello!
- Hey. Hi. Give me the key
to the reporter's room.
687
00:45:45,291 --> 00:45:48,522
- I'm gonna snoop around a little bit.
Come on, quick. Quick.
- Okay, okay.
688
00:45:48,595 --> 00:45:50,620
- Second floor.
- Thank you.
689
00:45:50,697 --> 00:45:53,359
- Don't take anything big!
- Okay.
690
00:46:22,629 --> 00:46:24,426
Hopefully his favorite.
691
00:46:24,497 --> 00:46:26,556
You know, my theory is
that she's always running...
692
00:46:26,633 --> 00:46:30,797
because she gets negative attention,
and negative attention is attention.
693
00:46:30,870 --> 00:46:34,237
You know, like when women whack you
on the street because of your column.
694
00:46:34,307 --> 00:46:37,868
- That's negative attention.
- We're talking about her
negative attention, not mine.
695
00:46:48,254 --> 00:46:53,282
"How does she get all those guys to
propose? She's not that beautiful."
696
00:46:53,359 --> 00:46:55,452
Bite me, paperboy.
697
00:46:59,499 --> 00:47:02,662
Oh! Hey! Hey!
698
00:47:02,735 --> 00:47:04,134
- Hi, Ike.
- Hey, Ralph.
699
00:47:04,204 --> 00:47:07,298
You put your shoes out at night,
and they're real shiny in the morning.
700
00:47:07,373 --> 00:47:11,207
- Sometimes they don't bring 'em back.
- Hmm, why take a chance?
701
00:47:11,277 --> 00:47:13,177
Good night.
702
00:47:27,594 --> 00:47:32,122
All right, I know you're
in there! I saw you...
703
00:47:32,198 --> 00:47:34,962
You realize you're messing
with the First Amendment now.
704
00:47:36,970 --> 00:47:39,097
Come on, open up.
705
00:47:39,172 --> 00:47:41,572
Come on.
706
00:47:41,641 --> 00:47:45,372
I think we should have
a very serious discussion about
why you are such a pain in the ass!
707
00:47:45,445 --> 00:47:48,778
Now, come on! Open the door!
All right, I'm coming in.
708
00:47:48,848 --> 00:47:52,011
I'm coming through.
This is your last chance. Here I come!
709
00:47:52,085 --> 00:47:54,918
Here I come!
Here I come!
710
00:47:56,489 --> 00:47:59,185
All right. Hey!
711
00:47:59,259 --> 00:48:01,693
All right. Breaking and entering.
That's a felony!
712
00:48:01,761 --> 00:48:04,395
- I'm calling the sheriff.
- Oh, you know what? You do that.
713
00:48:04,529 --> 00:48:07,896
And can you remind him that
he's bringing the wine to the luau?
714
00:48:07,966 --> 00:48:11,732
Save me a call. Thanks.
715
00:48:11,803 --> 00:48:15,102
Hey, Ike, does your friend
have a sister?
716
00:48:15,173 --> 00:48:18,904
Wait for the original.
She'll be available in a week.
717
00:48:59,217 --> 00:49:01,481
Freeze! Oh!
Hold onto those covers.
718
00:49:01,553 --> 00:49:04,647
I didn't come here
to see Ike, Junior.
719
00:49:04,722 --> 00:49:08,021
I take it the desk clerk is
one of your many admirers.
720
00:49:10,094 --> 00:49:13,723
So, your notes made for, um,
interesting reading.
721
00:49:13,798 --> 00:49:17,461
- What's your point?
- My point is, once again
you're getting it all wrong.
722
00:49:17,535 --> 00:49:21,301
And that's not going to improve
your reputation, and it's not
very flattering to me, either.
723
00:49:21,372 --> 00:49:24,671
So, I decided...
724
00:49:24,742 --> 00:49:27,540
that I would help you
write the truth.
725
00:49:27,612 --> 00:49:30,080
- Really?
- Mm-hmm. Oh.
726
00:49:31,716 --> 00:49:35,880
I've decided to cooperate
and let you interview me...
727
00:49:35,954 --> 00:49:39,446
for a thousand bucks.
728
00:49:39,524 --> 00:49:42,459
I want a big wedding
and a killer dress, and for a grand...
729
00:49:42,527 --> 00:49:46,725
I will answer all your questions
and let you follow me around.
730
00:49:46,798 --> 00:49:50,894
The magazine does not
spend money for stories.
731
00:49:50,969 --> 00:49:53,096
- It's not what you would call ethical.
- Oh.
732
00:49:53,171 --> 00:49:55,765
No, I meant you.
I figured you probably got...
733
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:59,537
severance or expenses or both.
734
00:49:59,611 --> 00:50:02,876
I'm guessing that
you're writing on spec.
735
00:50:02,947 --> 00:50:07,350
And with a first-person interview,
you might actually sell that thing.
736
00:50:07,418 --> 00:50:10,444
- Too much.
- Seven-fifty.
737
00:50:10,521 --> 00:50:12,614
- Five hundred.
- Six-fifty.
738
00:50:13,691 --> 00:50:15,716
Done.
739
00:50:19,664 --> 00:50:22,565
Is that supposed to be
like a joke or something?
740
00:50:22,634 --> 00:50:25,728
- I know what you're whistling. Hello.
- Hi.
741
00:50:27,338 --> 00:50:31,138
This is a birthday present
for my cousin.
742
00:50:33,511 --> 00:50:36,036
That's great.
743
00:50:36,114 --> 00:50:39,083
Wonderful stuff.
All these found industrial parts.
744
00:50:39,150 --> 00:50:42,642
And a lamp tree?
745
00:50:42,720 --> 00:50:47,054
That's great. Is this...
that your preferred logo?
746
00:50:47,125 --> 00:50:49,491
- I think so.
- It's nice.
747
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:53,758
The whole thing is great. I think...
Look, I-I think you could sell
these lamps in New York.
748
00:50:53,831 --> 00:50:57,562
- Maybe someday. Hmm.
- You afraid to try?
749
00:50:57,635 --> 00:51:02,402
No. No, no, I'm not afraid.
Just someday.
750
00:51:04,008 --> 00:51:06,533
This is Brian.
751
00:51:06,611 --> 00:51:08,875
Ohhh, Father Brian.
752
00:51:08,946 --> 00:51:13,007
- And Gill's, of course.
- Gill, yeah!
753
00:51:13,084 --> 00:51:16,212
And George.
754
00:51:16,287 --> 00:51:19,848
He proposed at a butterfly farm
in St. Thomas.
755
00:51:19,924 --> 00:51:22,085
The ring was inside a cocoon.
756
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:25,527
Mmm, a little too Silence of the Lambs
for my taste, but...
757
00:51:25,596 --> 00:51:29,726
Well, he's an entomologist.
I thought it was very unique.
758
00:51:29,801 --> 00:51:32,565
- And finally, Bob.
- Mm-hmm.
759
00:51:32,637 --> 00:51:37,074
He proposed during
the seventh-inning stretch...
760
00:51:37,141 --> 00:51:40,008
at an Oriole game.
761
00:51:40,078 --> 00:51:43,206
Wait, wait, wait!
Don't tell me.
762
00:51:43,281 --> 00:51:46,580
The scoreboard lit up
with "Marry me, Maggie!"
763
00:51:46,651 --> 00:51:49,381
It was one of the most wonderful
moments of my life.
764
00:51:49,454 --> 00:51:51,854
I don't know. Highly suspect.
765
00:51:51,923 --> 00:51:55,757
What do you mean?
It was incredibly romantic.
766
00:51:55,827 --> 00:51:58,387
Look, maybe it's just me, but...
767
00:51:58,463 --> 00:52:03,059
you know, if you gotta dress it up
like that, it just doesn't ring true.
768
00:52:03,134 --> 00:52:06,501
No, I... I think the most...
769
00:52:06,571 --> 00:52:09,404
that anybody
can honestly say is...
770
00:52:09,474 --> 00:52:13,069
"Look, I guarantee
there'll be tough times.
771
00:52:13,144 --> 00:52:16,079
I guarantee that at some point...
772
00:52:16,147 --> 00:52:19,082
one or both of us is gonna want
to get out of this thing.
773
00:52:19,150 --> 00:52:24,053
But I also guarantee that
if I don't ask you to be mine...
774
00:52:24,122 --> 00:52:27,558
I'll regret it
the rest of my life...
775
00:52:27,625 --> 00:52:31,254
'cause I know, in my heart...
776
00:52:32,697 --> 00:52:35,257
you're the only one for me."
777
00:52:38,569 --> 00:52:41,436
I like it.
778
00:52:41,506 --> 00:52:43,872
I'd like it better on a scoreboard.
779
00:52:47,178 --> 00:52:51,274
So, is that what you said when
you asked your wife to marry you?
780
00:52:51,349 --> 00:52:55,752
Well, don't look so surprised.
You got "divorce" written all over you.
781
00:52:55,820 --> 00:52:58,584
I'm a work in progress.
782
00:52:58,656 --> 00:53:01,921
So, is that what you said to her?
783
00:53:01,993 --> 00:53:05,053
No, I think I said something
very eloquent, like...
784
00:53:05,129 --> 00:53:10,567
"So, um, maybe you and I
should, you know...
785
00:53:10,635 --> 00:53:13,331
What do you think? Huh?"
786
00:53:14,806 --> 00:53:17,070
Now, that's romantic.
787
00:53:17,141 --> 00:53:21,475
And with a proposal like that,
you didn't find eternal bliss?
788
00:53:21,546 --> 00:53:24,014
What went wrong?
789
00:53:24,081 --> 00:53:27,448
- I don't know.
- You don't know?
790
00:53:27,518 --> 00:53:29,110
No.
791
00:53:30,688 --> 00:53:34,522
Maybe you should ask her sometime.
You ever thought of that?
792
00:53:43,267 --> 00:53:46,703
Even with everything that's happened,
I have still never been married...
793
00:53:46,771 --> 00:53:50,400
and I still deserve
a beautiful dress.
794
00:53:53,845 --> 00:53:56,439
- Mrs. Whittenmeyer?
- Where are you going?
795
00:53:56,514 --> 00:53:58,880
- Oh, hi, Polly.
- Oh, hi, Maggie.
796
00:53:58,950 --> 00:54:01,885
You'll have to excuse her. Some of
the children are afraid of you...
797
00:54:01,953 --> 00:54:04,478
since you dragged
that little boy up the aisle.
798
00:54:04,555 --> 00:54:08,855
Drag... No, I didn't... I didn't...
No, he tripped on his own shoelaces.
799
00:54:08,926 --> 00:54:11,486
You've come for your dress.
Good. It's in the back.
800
00:54:11,562 --> 00:54:14,429
- I'll get it.
- Oh, actually, Mrs. Whittenmeyer...
801
00:54:14,499 --> 00:54:19,095
I decided that
I want to get this dress.
802
00:54:19,170 --> 00:54:23,163
Oh. Well, the one you have
on hold is lovely, dear.
803
00:54:23,241 --> 00:54:25,835
No, I know. But I've just...
I've changed my mind.
804
00:54:25,910 --> 00:54:28,902
This is $1,000.
805
00:54:28,980 --> 00:54:31,778
And I have $1,000.
806
00:54:31,849 --> 00:54:34,909
Uh, the other one
is only 300, dear.
807
00:54:34,986 --> 00:54:37,716
Uh, um...
808
00:54:37,788 --> 00:54:40,256
is that dress for sale?
809
00:54:40,324 --> 00:54:44,351
It's just a lot of money to spend
on one of your dresses, Maggie.
810
00:54:44,428 --> 00:54:47,761
After all, you only wear them
for about ten minutes or so.
811
00:54:53,137 --> 00:54:56,971
Um, yeah, yeah.
I guess that's true.
812
00:55:00,177 --> 00:55:03,374
Uh, the other dress is, is nice.
813
00:55:03,447 --> 00:55:05,813
- Mrs. Whitten... Whittenheimer?
- Meyer.
814
00:55:05,883 --> 00:55:08,716
Whittenmeyer.
Can I talk to you just for a second?
815
00:55:08,786 --> 00:55:11,687
Come here. Look, I don't know much
about this kind of thing.
816
00:55:11,756 --> 00:55:14,316
I'm from out of town.
But you're a salesperson, right?
817
00:55:14,392 --> 00:55:16,883
I mean, you're, you're, you're here
to sell wedding dresses.
818
00:55:16,961 --> 00:55:19,896
- Well, I have been here 30 years.
- Perfect!
819
00:55:19,964 --> 00:55:22,558
Because Miss Carpenter
is here to buy one.
820
00:55:22,633 --> 00:55:25,602
Ah, but not just any one.
She wants that one!
821
00:55:25,670 --> 00:55:30,334
- It's a thousand dollars.
- Uh, listen, Aunt Bee...
822
00:55:30,408 --> 00:55:32,672
uh, verbal communication
was never perfect for me.
823
00:55:32,743 --> 00:55:34,677
Let's try visual, all right?
824
00:55:37,148 --> 00:55:39,309
We're buying the dress.
825
00:55:39,383 --> 00:55:42,045
Now, we'll have
this nice, beautiful dress.
826
00:55:42,119 --> 00:55:45,782
And anything else she wants,
it's hers, okay? All right?
827
00:55:54,465 --> 00:55:56,899
What do you think?
828
00:56:11,981 --> 00:56:14,643
You look...
829
00:56:22,125 --> 00:56:25,617
- You look fine.
- Fine?
830
00:56:30,900 --> 00:56:34,495
You're reading your newspaper
upside-down. That's gotta be
better than fine.
831
00:56:34,571 --> 00:56:37,096
Yeah.
832
00:56:37,173 --> 00:56:41,473
Hey, come on now. Admire me. Get the
whole picture. All right? Picture it.
833
00:56:41,544 --> 00:56:45,605
I'm gonna have my hair up somehow.
I don't know. Maybe with a little...
in the back or...
834
00:56:45,682 --> 00:56:48,549
And my favorite feature...
835
00:56:48,618 --> 00:56:53,578
is that it kind of swishes
like a bell when I move.
836
00:56:55,124 --> 00:56:57,854
Ding. Ding.
837
00:56:57,927 --> 00:57:02,193
Ding. Ding.
838
00:57:02,265 --> 00:57:06,531
It works.
Bob will be very happy.
839
00:57:06,603 --> 00:57:11,302
Oh, Bob! Oh, we, uh, we gotta go!
We gotta go... We gotta go meet Bob!
840
00:57:11,374 --> 00:57:13,865
Oh, geez, yeah, I'm goin'
to the luau. I never miss it.
841
00:57:13,943 --> 00:57:16,537
- You know, the barbershop quartet...
- Mrs. Pressman?
842
00:57:16,613 --> 00:57:20,310
- We're ready to order here, I think.
- Uh, I'm all out of
the special because...
843
00:57:20,383 --> 00:57:23,875
That's all right. I'm gonna have
the garden omelet, egg whites only.
844
00:57:23,953 --> 00:57:25,750
Mmm, that sounds good.
I'll have the same.
845
00:57:25,822 --> 00:57:28,017
- Of course.
- What is that?
846
00:57:28,091 --> 00:57:32,790
I can't even order eggs
without sarcasm from you?
847
00:57:32,862 --> 00:57:36,389
- Hey, neutral corners, huh?
You're on the same team now.
- What is that sound?
848
00:57:36,466 --> 00:57:38,058
- Have some water.
- Penalty box.
- What is it?
849
00:57:38,134 --> 00:57:40,967
- Fur ball or... Oh!
- Penalty box. Penalty box, hmm?
850
00:57:41,037 --> 00:57:44,404
Ike, Maggie is the sweetest person
you're ever gonna meet...
851
00:57:44,474 --> 00:57:46,408
but she focuses too much,
you know, out there.
852
00:57:46,476 --> 00:57:49,001
She needs to start focusing
more in here.
853
00:57:49,078 --> 00:57:51,706
I mean, that's why
I think she's had, uh...
854
00:57:44,008 --> 00:57:45,942
but she focuses too much,
you know, out there.
855
00:57:45,710 --> 00:57:48,235
She needs to start focusing
more in here.
856
00:57:48,312 --> 00:57:50,940
I mean, that's why
I think she's had, uh...
857
00:57:51,015 --> 00:57:54,507
whatever you wanna call it...
problems in the past.
858
00:57:54,585 --> 00:57:58,851
And that's what
we're working on. Focus.
859
00:57:58,923 --> 00:58:01,949
Focus. F-Focus on Maggie.
Focus on Maggie.
860
00:58:02,026 --> 00:58:04,859
- Mm-hmm.
- Focus on Bob. Focus on Bob.
861
00:58:04,929 --> 00:58:08,296
And I've been runnin' Maggie
through these visualization exercises.
862
00:58:08,366 --> 00:58:10,891
All the sports shrinks,
uh, use this head stuff.
863
00:58:10,968 --> 00:58:13,766
Uh, visualize the end zone.
864
00:58:13,838 --> 00:58:16,705
Visualize that hole in one.
865
00:58:19,043 --> 00:58:22,171
Tell me, when you get to the altar,
will you spike the bouquet?
866
00:58:22,246 --> 00:58:25,272
- Okay, you know what...
- Well, I'm off.
867
00:58:25,349 --> 00:58:27,442
A reporter's work is never done.
868
00:58:27,518 --> 00:58:29,452
See you later.
Bye, Mrs. Pressman. Thank you.
869
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:32,114
I'm gonna go focus on your eggs, Bob.
870
00:58:35,693 --> 00:58:38,184
I'm glad you're here.
I wanted to try to explain.
871
00:58:38,262 --> 00:58:42,392
There are reasons why there have been
three weddings and no "I do's."
872
00:58:42,466 --> 00:58:45,333
Oh, you can't believe
how much cake we got stuck with.
873
00:58:45,403 --> 00:58:48,201
It's a wonder
I don't weigh 300 pounds.
874
00:58:48,272 --> 00:58:51,207
And then, her father bought
all that booze that nobody drank.
875
00:58:51,275 --> 00:58:53,209
- But he didn't mind that, I...
- Hi, Grandma.
876
00:58:54,912 --> 00:58:56,402
Hi, Netta.
877
00:58:56,480 --> 00:59:00,177
Grammy here was giving me the skinny
on why you run from marital bliss.
878
00:59:00,251 --> 00:59:04,347
Right. Netta,
cover up your ears.
879
00:59:04,422 --> 00:59:06,549
It's not that she's
afraid of the wedding.
880
00:59:06,624 --> 00:59:09,821
- She's afraid of the wedding night!
- Mmm!
881
00:59:09,894 --> 00:59:14,729
Innocent girls are terrified
of the one-eyed snake.
882
00:59:15,967 --> 00:59:18,026
Why, when I was a virgin bride...
883
00:59:18,102 --> 00:59:20,366
I took a knitting needle
to bed with me.
884
00:59:20,438 --> 00:59:23,532
Uh, Grandma...
885
00:59:23,608 --> 00:59:26,600
I charmed the one-eyed snake
a while ago.
886
00:59:26,677 --> 00:59:29,373
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
887
00:59:29,447 --> 00:59:33,884
Well, I'll tell you one thing. Your
grandpa never forgot that wedding night.
888
00:59:33,951 --> 00:59:35,885
Netta, you can take
your hands down.
889
00:59:35,953 --> 00:59:37,887
- The tea's cold.
- Good.
890
00:59:37,955 --> 00:59:40,788
Can you excuse us for a minute?
May I have a word with you, please?
891
00:59:40,858 --> 00:59:43,349
Oh. Bye, Netta.
892
00:59:43,427 --> 00:59:45,361
Bye. Thanks, Grammy.
893
00:59:47,431 --> 00:59:52,459
Uh, I found this, and I didn't know
if it was something interesting.
894
00:59:52,536 --> 00:59:54,470
Oh, my. This is Miles Davis!
895
00:59:54,538 --> 00:59:56,768
Oh, I was cleaning out the attic,
and it was...
896
00:59:56,841 --> 00:59:59,207
This is amaz... This is very hard
to find in good condition.
897
00:59:59,277 --> 01:00:01,472
You hold on to this.
This is incredible.
898
01:00:02,613 --> 01:00:07,073
- Why don't you take it? Hmm?
- Huh?
899
01:00:07,151 --> 01:00:09,676
Take it.
900
01:00:09,754 --> 01:00:11,984
Okay, figuring out
what kind of music I like...
901
01:00:12,056 --> 01:00:16,425
finding me a rare album...
not trying to butter me up, are you?
902
01:00:16,494 --> 01:00:18,792
I was cleaning out the attic...
903
01:00:18,863 --> 01:00:21,661
not attempting the impossible.
904
01:00:22,733 --> 01:00:26,260
I smell trouble.
905
01:00:27,605 --> 01:00:29,766
This is Cory Flemming,
and I'll be featuring the music...
906
01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:33,833
of "Denise and The Nephews"
tomorrow morning on "Wake Up With Fle..."
907
01:00:36,347 --> 01:00:38,372
What have we got here?
908
01:00:43,087 --> 01:00:44,418
Come on, big guy.
909
01:00:44,488 --> 01:00:46,820
Oh! Here. On our feet.
There we go. Let's go!
910
01:00:46,891 --> 01:00:49,223
Let's go, big guy. Yeah.
911
01:00:49,293 --> 01:00:52,387
I haven't had any fun
since you got your driver's license.
912
01:00:52,463 --> 01:00:56,593
Well, let me give you a tip. I haven't
been having a whole lot of fun either.
913
01:00:58,002 --> 01:01:01,699
- Steady.
- Good boy, Porthole.
914
01:01:01,772 --> 01:01:04,070
- His name's Skipper, Dad.
- I changed it.
915
01:01:04,141 --> 01:01:06,803
Ah. Okay, step.
916
01:01:06,877 --> 01:01:09,778
Ah, I'll be back later, Travis.
917
01:01:09,847 --> 01:01:11,906
That guy Travis really has a problem.
918
01:01:11,983 --> 01:01:14,850
- Mm. Okay. Here we are.
- I'll ge... I'll get it.
919
01:01:14,919 --> 01:01:17,979
Okay. Steady.
920
01:01:18,055 --> 01:01:20,353
Now, I'm gonna...
You're gonna lean. I'm gonna push.
921
01:01:20,424 --> 01:01:23,325
Good daughters let
their fathers pass out.
922
01:01:23,394 --> 01:01:26,454
Hey, Walter. Right down there.
923
01:01:26,530 --> 01:01:28,555
I-I... Please, please,
don't write anything about...
924
01:01:28,632 --> 01:01:31,658
No, forget about it.
Don't... Don't even think about it.
925
01:01:42,980 --> 01:01:46,916
I'm just so tired
of this whole scene.
926
01:01:46,984 --> 01:01:51,353
Why don't you just let him
sleep it off here in the truck?
927
01:01:51,422 --> 01:01:54,084
Come for a ride with me,
and come back for him later.
928
01:01:57,328 --> 01:01:58,761
Okay.
929
01:02:04,735 --> 01:02:09,035
Today we took a walk
930
01:02:09,106 --> 01:02:12,564
Up the street and picked a flower
931
01:02:12,643 --> 01:02:15,134
And climbed the hill above the lake
932
01:02:15,212 --> 01:02:18,409
Well, he's been drinking more and more
since my mom passed away.
933
01:02:18,482 --> 01:02:21,451
So, that's when you quit school
to come back here?
934
01:02:21,519 --> 01:02:25,546
Yeah, I had to come
run the store for my dad.
935
01:02:25,623 --> 01:02:28,524
Well, my dad had
a small printing business.
936
01:02:30,828 --> 01:02:32,887
He wanted me to become
a classical musician.
937
01:02:32,963 --> 01:02:35,261
My mother wanted me
to be a novelist.
938
01:02:36,934 --> 01:02:38,868
They were 0 for 2.
939
01:02:42,306 --> 01:02:46,970
More? So, I, um...
940
01:02:47,044 --> 01:02:49,945
I became a reporter.
941
01:02:51,115 --> 01:02:53,811
Not quite a novelist,
but as we all know...
942
01:02:53,884 --> 01:02:57,877
journalism is literature in a hurry.
943
01:03:00,658 --> 01:03:04,321
And I never saw blue like that
944
01:03:04,395 --> 01:03:06,795
Before
945
01:03:06,864 --> 01:03:09,492
Across the sky
946
01:03:09,567 --> 01:03:11,899
What? What? What is this?
947
01:03:11,969 --> 01:03:13,937
What kind of gas
did you put in here? Diesel?
948
01:03:14,004 --> 01:03:18,236
I don't know.
The pump closest to the car.
949
01:03:18,309 --> 01:03:20,140
Whoa!
950
01:03:21,378 --> 01:03:25,109
This car takes unleaded.
Your filter is clogged.
951
01:03:25,182 --> 01:03:27,742
- Can you fix it?
- I'm gonna need to get some tools.
952
01:03:27,818 --> 01:03:30,082
Oh, good.
953
01:03:30,154 --> 01:03:32,418
Kind of isolated here.
954
01:03:32,490 --> 01:03:34,754
Yeah, it's nice.
955
01:03:37,094 --> 01:03:39,221
Well, if there's one thing
us New Yorkers know how to do...
956
01:03:39,296 --> 01:03:41,958
that's hail a cab!
957
01:03:42,032 --> 01:03:44,193
If there's no cab, we walk.
958
01:03:44,268 --> 01:03:47,760
Uh, well...
if we saved a battery here...
959
01:03:47,838 --> 01:03:50,830
um, there's a place
just down the way.
960
01:03:50,908 --> 01:03:54,105
We country girls cut across the field.
It's quicker.
961
01:03:59,617 --> 01:04:01,710
Oh! Be careful of, um, snakes.
962
01:04:03,687 --> 01:04:05,951
- What?
- Snakes.
963
01:04:06,957 --> 01:04:10,222
- I don't like snakes.
- Walk nice. They won't get ya.
964
01:04:13,731 --> 01:04:17,497
- Come on, come on. Come on. Come on!
- What are you... What are you doing?
965
01:04:17,568 --> 01:04:19,729
Snake dance?
966
01:04:19,803 --> 01:04:22,465
I'm scaring the snakes.
967
01:04:22,540 --> 01:04:26,738
- You're scaring me.
- I'm scaring myself.
968
01:04:29,647 --> 01:04:33,845
Do you think there's
one right person for everybody?
969
01:04:33,918 --> 01:04:39,447
No, but I think attraction
is too often mistaken for rightness.
970
01:04:39,523 --> 01:04:43,050
You know, attraction's
very misleading. It's, uh...
971
01:04:44,495 --> 01:04:46,554
Yes, it is.
And it doesn't mean anything.
972
01:04:46,630 --> 01:04:49,098
- No. No, no. No, no.
- Give me your arm.
973
01:04:49,166 --> 01:04:51,862
It means...
974
01:05:01,178 --> 01:05:06,138
I, uh, suddenly forgot
how to climb a fence.
975
01:05:10,054 --> 01:05:11,681
- Tools.
- Tools. Yeah.
976
01:05:20,931 --> 01:05:24,025
Lionel? Do you have tools?
977
01:05:24,101 --> 01:05:27,969
Hey, Maggie. What are you gonna do,
bust out of another wedding?
978
01:05:30,374 --> 01:05:33,676
Sure are well known 'round here.
979
01:05:34,711 --> 01:05:36,645
No, no, no. No, Fish.
It's almost done. I swear. I swear.
980
01:05:36,713 --> 01:05:38,704
This story's taken
a very interesting turn.
981
01:05:38,782 --> 01:05:41,148
I, I got one more interview
to do, up in New York.
982
01:05:41,217 --> 01:05:44,812
- I-I'll see you there later.
- From my head, to my heart
983
01:05:44,888 --> 01:05:48,949
Kiss and find a way
They're so far apart
984
01:05:51,528 --> 01:05:54,895
You could have told me
that you were fianc� number three.
985
01:05:54,964 --> 01:05:56,989
And end up in the papers?
986
01:05:57,066 --> 01:06:00,593
I've been humiliated enough already
to last a lifetime, thank you.
987
01:06:00,670 --> 01:06:03,138
I was traveling around studying...
988
01:06:03,206 --> 01:06:07,006
the reproductive
and migratory patterns of locusts...
989
01:06:07,076 --> 01:06:09,010
when Maggie met me.
990
01:06:09,078 --> 01:06:12,275
So, tell me, George,
why do you think she ran?
991
01:06:12,348 --> 01:06:15,181
Just like you said.
What did you call her? A man-eater?
992
01:06:15,251 --> 01:06:19,312
"Devouring death goddess,"
all right?
993
01:06:19,389 --> 01:06:22,017
That's what I said.
I don't think that's why she ran.
994
01:06:22,091 --> 01:06:25,185
- Oh, why do you think she ran?
- I don't know. I'm workin' on it.
995
01:06:25,261 --> 01:06:27,991
- I was on the wrong track.
- Are you... Are you defending her?
996
01:06:28,064 --> 01:06:32,091
N-No! No, I, I call it like I see it,
that's all. I'm a journalist.
997
01:06:32,168 --> 01:06:35,365
- I'm a truth-teller.
- Unbelievable!
998
01:06:35,438 --> 01:06:37,372
- What?
- She got to you too.
999
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:39,931
- Like a moth to a flame.
- Please!
1000
01:06:40,009 --> 01:06:41,943
- Join the club.
- What are you talking about?
1001
01:06:42,011 --> 01:06:44,002
I think that you need this
much more than I do.
1002
01:06:44,080 --> 01:06:46,139
I am a journalist.
I'm doing an article...
1003
01:06:46,216 --> 01:06:49,379
Look, see? See, I'm being paid.
This will be published.
1004
01:06:49,452 --> 01:06:51,477
It's a cover story.
I will tell the...
1005
01:06:51,554 --> 01:06:53,488
You will get all the facts,
in the article.
1006
01:06:53,556 --> 01:06:55,649
Do you know what kind
of eggs she liked?
1007
01:06:57,727 --> 01:07:00,821
Poached. Same as me.
1008
01:07:00,897 --> 01:07:03,422
Lost inside of you
1009
01:07:03,500 --> 01:07:07,334
That's what hurts
1010
01:07:09,539 --> 01:07:13,305
An overpriced apartment and
Chinese takeout. That's New York living.
1011
01:07:13,376 --> 01:07:16,812
Fisher, don't forget
the fortune cookies.
1012
01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:19,542
Oh, I already read the fortune.
Y-You don't want to know.
1013
01:07:19,616 --> 01:07:22,084
Oh, he makes me crazy.
1014
01:07:24,053 --> 01:07:26,851
Hostility is a very important part
of your foreplay, isn't it?
1015
01:07:26,923 --> 01:07:28,857
Well, it takes three people
to make our marriage work:
1016
01:07:28,925 --> 01:07:30,859
him, me and our therapist.
1017
01:07:37,534 --> 01:07:40,332
Ellie, what went wrong?
1018
01:07:40,403 --> 01:07:43,395
With us.
With the two of us, I mean.
1019
01:07:43,473 --> 01:07:46,340
You know, it's been...
been a long time.
1020
01:07:46,409 --> 01:07:48,900
But do you remember?
1021
01:07:48,978 --> 01:07:51,879
Y-Yeah. Do I remember?
1022
01:07:51,948 --> 01:07:54,746
Of course I do.
1023
01:07:54,817 --> 01:07:58,082
Is that what...
Did I do the same...
1024
01:07:58,154 --> 01:08:03,387
Is that what happened?
Did I just not see you?
1025
01:08:04,727 --> 01:08:08,356
No. No, you didn't.
1026
01:08:14,771 --> 01:08:18,298
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ellie.
1027
01:08:19,375 --> 01:08:22,071
I'm sorry, too, Ike.
1028
01:08:23,746 --> 01:08:27,147
Wow. That only took us
12 years to say.
1029
01:08:27,216 --> 01:08:30,811
Okay. I saw that, you cad.
1030
01:08:30,887 --> 01:08:35,256
You asked for it, you got it.
Here you go. My dear.
1031
01:08:35,325 --> 01:08:37,816
There you are. Get your fortune.
Let me see one.
1032
01:08:37,894 --> 01:08:39,521
All right, Confucius say...
1033
01:08:39,596 --> 01:08:42,997
"Man who leave wife alone with
ex-husband may leave altogether."
1034
01:08:43,066 --> 01:08:44,658
Uh-huh.
1035
01:08:44,734 --> 01:08:47,328
- Lights are scary.
- Hope it's better than last year.
1036
01:08:47,403 --> 01:08:49,997
- Or the last ten years.
- Wow.
1037
01:09:02,885 --> 01:09:06,821
Let's have a hand for
our fabulous hula dancers.
1038
01:09:06,889 --> 01:09:10,347
There they are. King and queen.
1039
01:09:15,098 --> 01:09:20,035
Walter, I'm thinking about
going back to my maiden name.
1040
01:09:20,103 --> 01:09:22,037
Can you still remember it?
1041
01:09:22,105 --> 01:09:25,506
I'm not... It's not... You know...
1042
01:09:25,575 --> 01:09:28,806
It's just I haven't
seen him in 24 hours...
1043
01:09:28,878 --> 01:09:32,905
and I would feel better...
1044
01:09:32,982 --> 01:09:35,542
if I knew where he was, you see?
1045
01:09:35,618 --> 01:09:39,054
In a little grass shack
in Kealakekua, Hawaii
1046
01:09:39,122 --> 01:09:43,058
Welcome to our annual luau.
What can I get you?
1047
01:09:43,126 --> 01:09:46,755
Aloha, Mr. Trout. Uh...
1048
01:09:46,829 --> 01:09:48,990
Have you got something
without a toy in it?
1049
01:09:49,065 --> 01:09:51,465
All right.
1050
01:09:51,534 --> 01:09:54,469
- Get down, sweetheart.
- The next three.
1051
01:09:54,537 --> 01:09:57,233
Yeah?
1052
01:09:57,306 --> 01:09:59,866
Oh, I'm hearing it. Here.
1053
01:10:04,514 --> 01:10:06,448
Aloha.
1054
01:10:08,117 --> 01:10:10,677
That's a very fetching
headdress you're wearing.
1055
01:10:14,891 --> 01:10:17,553
Where did...
Where did you disappear to?
1056
01:10:18,761 --> 01:10:20,695
Missed me bad, huh?
1057
01:10:22,799 --> 01:10:25,859
And we have
our winner right here!
1058
01:10:25,935 --> 01:10:29,268
Yeah! Oh, all right, Bob.
1059
01:10:29,338 --> 01:10:32,671
Well, it's chow time
here on the islands...
1060
01:10:32,742 --> 01:10:37,202
and we Trouts have prepared
our traditional feast: "Shrimp Trout."
1061
01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:39,510
So, let's all, uh,
meet over at the tables.
1062
01:10:39,582 --> 01:10:41,516
You're not allergic
to shrimp, are you?
1063
01:10:41,584 --> 01:10:44,212
- Mm-mm. No.
- Oh. Pity.
1064
01:10:50,927 --> 01:10:54,124
Attention!
Pay attention to Walter.
1065
01:10:54,197 --> 01:10:57,223
Listen closely. He slurs.
1066
01:10:58,868 --> 01:11:01,564
In the tradition that has,
uh, grown over the years...
1067
01:11:01,637 --> 01:11:03,571
it is now toast time.
1068
01:11:03,639 --> 01:11:08,474
First up, our host, Lou...
a honey of a beekeeper... Trout.
1069
01:11:13,015 --> 01:11:16,075
May the groom's heart
be filled with hope...
1070
01:11:16,152 --> 01:11:18,484
and the bride's feet
filled with lead.
1071
01:11:21,991 --> 01:11:26,223
- That was good.
- May the pitter-patter
of little feet not be Maggie's.
1072
01:11:26,295 --> 01:11:28,695
Amen to that.
1073
01:11:30,666 --> 01:11:33,499
May the gifts be returnable.
1074
01:11:35,138 --> 01:11:37,766
- I took mine back.
- You know the old saying.
1075
01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:42,004
Uh, "you're not losing a daughter"?
Well, I'd like to!
1076
01:11:44,680 --> 01:11:47,979
Maggie may not be Hale's
longest-running joke...
1077
01:11:48,050 --> 01:11:49,984
but she is certainly
the fastest!
1078
01:11:53,156 --> 01:11:55,181
Good one, Dad.
1079
01:11:57,026 --> 01:11:59,256
Uncle Walter, maybe Mr. Graham...
1080
01:11:59,328 --> 01:12:02,525
Ah! Here we are. Would you
like to say something, Mr. Graham?
1081
01:12:02,598 --> 01:12:06,864
Yeah, just a minute. Just a minute.
I don't know yet. You okay?
1082
01:12:06,936 --> 01:12:09,063
Come on, Ike.
Take a shot at Maggie live.
1083
01:12:09,138 --> 01:12:12,073
It's much more fun than print.
1084
01:12:12,141 --> 01:12:14,075
- Excuse me?
- Well, it's a joke.
1085
01:12:14,143 --> 01:12:15,667
- They're kidding, Ike.
- Uh-huh.
1086
01:12:15,745 --> 01:12:18,771
- Yeah, come on. Come on. Let's go.
- Ike!
1087
01:12:18,848 --> 01:12:20,873
- Come on!
- Come on!
1088
01:12:20,950 --> 01:12:22,884
All right. I'll add a toast!
1089
01:12:22,952 --> 01:12:25,386
Yeah! Come on!
1090
01:12:25,454 --> 01:12:29,015
To, uh, to Maggie's
family and friends.
1091
01:12:29,091 --> 01:12:32,322
May you find yourselves...
1092
01:12:32,395 --> 01:12:36,593
the bull's-eye of an easy target.
1093
01:12:36,666 --> 01:12:41,660
May you be publicly flogged
for all of your bad choices...
1094
01:12:42,939 --> 01:12:45,203
and may your noses...
1095
01:12:45,274 --> 01:12:47,208
be rubbed in all
of your mistakes.
1096
01:12:52,415 --> 01:12:55,384
Well, that was funny,
but enough toasting. Let's hula!
1097
01:12:55,451 --> 01:12:59,444
Everybody!
Let's get up and, uh, start the band!
1098
01:12:59,522 --> 01:13:02,491
Up. And, everybody, we're gonna
make a line right down here.
1099
01:13:02,558 --> 01:13:05,118
- Everybody up.
- Maggie.
1100
01:13:05,194 --> 01:13:07,719
- Maggie?
- Lou, where are those hula dancers?
1101
01:13:07,797 --> 01:13:10,391
- Honey, go find the girls.
- Here. She might need this.
1102
01:13:10,466 --> 01:13:12,900
- Everybody gets a hula lesson!
- Where'd Maggie go to?
1103
01:13:12,969 --> 01:13:15,301
Oh, she just went to get me
something from her car.
1104
01:13:15,371 --> 01:13:17,896
- Well, maybe she needs help.
- Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob!
1105
01:13:17,974 --> 01:13:19,942
- Okay. The guard. Who threw the block.
- Yeah.
1106
01:13:20,009 --> 01:13:21,977
- Okay? Forrest Gregg.
- No, no, no. Elijah Pitts.
1107
01:13:22,044 --> 01:13:24,342
- He was a running back.
- The Fridge. "Refrigerator" Perry?
1108
01:13:26,249 --> 01:13:29,150
Maggie? Hey.
1109
01:13:30,920 --> 01:13:32,003
Here's a coat. Put this coat on.
It's cold out here.
1110
01:13:32,038 --> 01:13:33,087
Here's a coat. Put this coat on.
It's cold out here.
1111
01:13:33,155 --> 01:13:35,385
Don't pretend to be a nice person.
1112
01:13:35,457 --> 01:13:37,755
I was the only person
in there defending you.
1113
01:13:37,826 --> 01:13:41,455
- You humiliated me!
- No, Maggie. I defended you.
1114
01:13:41,530 --> 01:13:44,328
Humiliating you is what
everyone else did in there!
1115
01:13:44,399 --> 01:13:46,333
- That is the theme of the party tonight.
- No, no.
1116
01:13:46,401 --> 01:13:50,064
It was under control.
Now they all feel sorry for me.
1117
01:13:50,138 --> 01:13:52,629
Well, they should. They're about
to see you hang yourself again.
1118
01:13:52,708 --> 01:13:54,175
- Well, what do you keep...
- Tell me something.
1119
01:13:54,243 --> 01:13:57,508
Do you really care
about Mount Everest?
1120
01:13:57,579 --> 01:14:01,208
I... It's fun. It's high!
1121
01:14:01,283 --> 01:14:03,308
Sexual practices of locusts?
1122
01:14:03,385 --> 01:14:08,413
Every one of those times,
I was being supportive.
1123
01:14:08,490 --> 01:14:13,120
Not supportive! You weren't
being supportive. You were scared!
1124
01:14:13,195 --> 01:14:16,221
You were scared then.
You're scared now.
1125
01:14:16,999 --> 01:14:19,399
- You are the most lost woman I have...
- Lost?
1126
01:14:19,468 --> 01:14:21,299
Yes, lost. You're so...
1127
01:14:21,370 --> 01:14:24,931
You were so lost, you didn't
even know what kind of eggs you like.
1128
01:14:26,041 --> 01:14:27,804
- Yes!
- What?
1129
01:14:27,876 --> 01:14:30,970
Yes. Yes, that's right.
With the priest, you wanted scrambled.
1130
01:14:31,046 --> 01:14:32,980
With... With the Deadhead,
it was fried.
1131
01:14:33,048 --> 01:14:35,608
With the other guy, the bug guy,
it was... it was poached.
1132
01:14:35,684 --> 01:14:39,450
Now, it's like, "Oh, e-egg whites only.
Thank you very much."
1133
01:14:39,521 --> 01:14:42,456
That is called
"changing your mind."
1134
01:14:42,524 --> 01:14:45,220
No, that's called
not having a mind of your own!
1135
01:14:45,294 --> 01:14:47,262
Maggie, what are you doing?
1136
01:14:47,329 --> 01:14:50,821
You really want that guy
up there to drag you up Anapurna?
1137
01:14:50,899 --> 01:14:52,833
For your honeymoon?
1138
01:14:52,901 --> 01:14:55,495
You do not want
to climb Anapurna!
1139
01:14:55,570 --> 01:14:57,970
Yes, I do!
1140
01:15:02,511 --> 01:15:05,241
No, you don't.
1141
01:15:05,314 --> 01:15:09,876
You want a man who'll lead you
down the beach...
1142
01:15:09,952 --> 01:15:12,318
with his hand over your eyes...
1143
01:15:12,387 --> 01:15:16,118
just so you can discover
the feel of sand under your feet.
1144
01:15:17,392 --> 01:15:21,726
You want a guy that'll
wake you up at dawn...
1145
01:15:22,798 --> 01:15:24,732
because he's bursting
to talk to you.
1146
01:15:24,800 --> 01:15:28,668
Can't wait another minute,
just to find out what you'll say.
1147
01:15:34,142 --> 01:15:36,576
Am I right?
1148
01:15:41,650 --> 01:15:43,845
Stop it.
1149
01:15:45,620 --> 01:15:49,784
I am getting married on Sunday.
1150
01:15:49,858 --> 01:15:54,158
And you are just
trying to make me run...
1151
01:15:54,229 --> 01:15:58,928
because you're
a cynical, exploitative...
1152
01:15:59,001 --> 01:16:01,401
mean-hearted creep...
1153
01:16:01,470 --> 01:16:05,531
who wouldn't know real love
if it bit him in the armpit.
1154
01:16:05,607 --> 01:16:07,905
All you do is...
1155
01:16:07,976 --> 01:16:10,069
is tear others down...
1156
01:16:10,145 --> 01:16:13,273
and... and... and laugh at them
and criticize what they do...
1157
01:16:13,348 --> 01:16:16,840
because you're too afraid
to do anything yourself.
1158
01:16:18,453 --> 01:16:21,513
I read your columns.
1159
01:16:21,590 --> 01:16:26,084
You never once
wrote anything about yourself.
1160
01:16:28,230 --> 01:16:31,927
I am not the only one
that is lost.
1161
01:16:33,201 --> 01:16:35,135
And you know it.
1162
01:16:37,506 --> 01:16:39,440
Am I right?
1163
01:16:42,477 --> 01:16:45,469
Am I right?
1164
01:16:49,551 --> 01:16:53,385
Mag? Hey! Help me out here.
1165
01:16:53,455 --> 01:16:58,916
Green Bay right guard.
Uh, uh, you know, Bart Starr? Uh...
1166
01:17:00,962 --> 01:17:03,590
- You okay?
- Yes.
1167
01:17:08,737 --> 01:17:11,069
- Take you inside. Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
1168
01:17:11,139 --> 01:17:13,073
Okay.
1169
01:17:16,244 --> 01:17:18,838
- Jerry Kramer.
- Jerry Kramer!
1170
01:17:28,223 --> 01:17:31,989
- Grandma. What's for lunch?
- Mac and cheese.
1171
01:17:32,060 --> 01:17:34,119
Honey, your grandmother and I
are thinking about having...
1172
01:17:34,196 --> 01:17:37,063
a wedding gift museum.
1173
01:17:38,133 --> 01:17:41,296
- Stop.
- What?
1174
01:17:41,369 --> 01:17:44,202
Stop. Don't say
another word like that.
1175
01:17:44,272 --> 01:17:46,206
- Maggie, it was just a joke.
- No!
1176
01:17:46,274 --> 01:17:49,710
It's humiliating,
and it's gone on long enough.
1177
01:17:49,778 --> 01:17:54,306
You may not like that
you have a daughter with problems.
1178
01:17:54,382 --> 01:17:57,180
But guess what.
1179
01:17:57,252 --> 01:18:00,881
I don't like that I have a father
who's drunk all the time.
1180
01:18:03,325 --> 01:18:05,316
I'll eat in my room.
1181
01:18:09,564 --> 01:18:12,590
Okay. Tell me why Maggie's
having another rehearsal?
1182
01:18:12,667 --> 01:18:15,465
And two days before the wedding.
She's already done this!
1183
01:18:15,537 --> 01:18:18,506
Well, Bob insisted
she visualize the ceremony.
1184
01:18:18,573 --> 01:18:20,165
Okay! We're ready!
1185
01:18:22,110 --> 01:18:26,638
- Do you want me to have Ike leave now?
- Uh, actually,
let's make Ike the pastor.
1186
01:18:26,715 --> 01:18:29,047
- Ah, I'd rather not.
- No, it'll give you a great view.
1187
01:18:29,117 --> 01:18:31,881
- I think it's perfect. Okay? Hey.
- Hey!
1188
01:18:31,953 --> 01:18:37,619
- Okay! Team effort, Pastor Ike.
- Yeah, we could hurry this up.
1189
01:18:37,692 --> 01:18:39,455
- He's going to be the pastor?
- Yes.
1190
01:18:39,528 --> 01:18:42,588
Yes, because I want him
front and center...
1191
01:18:42,664 --> 01:18:44,894
so he can just see everything.
1192
01:18:44,966 --> 01:18:47,400
- Have a seat. Right there. That's it.
- Okay.
1193
01:18:47,469 --> 01:18:50,336
- Cindy! Foyer.
- Okay.
1194
01:18:54,609 --> 01:18:56,008
Ready?
1195
01:18:56,077 --> 01:18:59,171
What happened at the luau?
1196
01:18:59,247 --> 01:19:03,809
I... I don't... I... I don't want
to talk about the luau, okay?
1197
01:19:04,886 --> 01:19:07,787
- What is this?
- That's for the bell.
- Oh.
1198
01:19:07,856 --> 01:19:10,017
- Bob's in a hurry.
- Oh.
1199
01:19:10,091 --> 01:19:13,686
- Girls?
- Okay, Maggie. Remember what Bob said.
1200
01:19:13,762 --> 01:19:15,923
- Let us visualize. Be the ball.
- Sink the putt.
1201
01:19:15,997 --> 01:19:17,988
- Make the shot.
- Nothin' but net.
1202
01:19:18,066 --> 01:19:20,534
- Never say die.
- Move your butts.
1203
01:19:20,602 --> 01:19:24,663
- Girls! Where are you?
- On our way, Coach.
1204
01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:29,037
Oh. This is the bell.
1205
01:19:30,111 --> 01:19:32,443
Ooh.
1206
01:19:32,514 --> 01:19:33,776
Whoa!
1207
01:19:38,954 --> 01:19:41,889
Whoa! Tough... Whoa!
1208
01:19:43,925 --> 01:19:45,256
What's she doing?
1209
01:19:45,327 --> 01:19:48,160
She's "being the bell,"
instead of the ball.
1210
01:19:50,131 --> 01:19:53,726
"Sanctuary. Sanctuary."
1211
01:19:54,736 --> 01:19:56,169
Mags, you okay?
1212
01:20:00,675 --> 01:20:02,768
Anyway.
1213
01:20:03,845 --> 01:20:05,904
Oh.
1214
01:20:22,731 --> 01:20:25,359
Look, at this pace,
this could become an evening wedding.
1215
01:20:25,433 --> 01:20:27,924
Okay, okay.
You know something?
1216
01:20:28,003 --> 01:20:31,769
It's great. I just think we're taking
this a little too fast. Right?
1217
01:20:31,840 --> 01:20:34,400
You're tensing?
You feel it? Right?
1218
01:20:34,476 --> 01:20:36,706
We just need to limber you up
for a second, okay?
1219
01:20:36,778 --> 01:20:38,769
- Ike, come here. Come here.
- Yeah.
1220
01:20:38,847 --> 01:20:41,816
All right, you're me. Stand here
so she knows how far she's gotta come.
1221
01:20:41,883 --> 01:20:44,943
Honey? I'm gonna
walk with you. Okay? And...
1222
01:20:45,020 --> 01:20:48,387
Now he's the groom?
1223
01:20:48,456 --> 01:20:50,686
Just relax. Limber.
Visualize, visualize.
1224
01:20:50,759 --> 01:20:53,227
Relax. Limber.
1225
01:20:53,295 --> 01:20:55,661
And...
1226
01:20:55,730 --> 01:20:59,166
And...
1227
01:20:59,234 --> 01:21:04,297
you are the football
spiraling through the air...
1228
01:21:04,372 --> 01:21:06,533
to the waiting hands
of the groom...
1229
01:21:06,608 --> 01:21:10,601
"I'm spiraling through the air.
1230
01:21:10,679 --> 01:21:14,248
I am...
1231
01:21:15,416 --> 01:21:20,479
streaking toward the...
1232
01:21:20,555 --> 01:21:22,819
goal line..."
1233
01:21:24,559 --> 01:21:30,464
All right.
Keep eye contact. Keep eye contact...
1234
01:21:30,531 --> 01:21:32,658
"And I land on the goal line."
1235
01:21:32,734 --> 01:21:35,259
Good. Good.
1236
01:21:35,336 --> 01:21:37,270
Good, okay.
And I'm the pastor, and I say...
1237
01:21:37,338 --> 01:21:39,772
"Dearly beloved,
uh, we're gathered here...
1238
01:21:39,841 --> 01:21:42,776
blah, blah, blah, blah,
so on and so forth,
rat-a-tat-tat, yabba dabba...
1239
01:21:42,844 --> 01:21:45,108
Uh, I now pronounce
you man and wife."
1240
01:21:45,179 --> 01:21:47,511
Kiss the bride.
We have the organ crescendo.
1241
01:21:47,582 --> 01:21:50,915
That just leads us
right on down the aisle.
1242
01:21:50,985 --> 01:21:54,477
And we are man and...
1243
01:22:09,203 --> 01:22:11,797
No-o!
1244
01:22:11,873 --> 01:22:15,832
Maggie? Uh, Mag...
1245
01:22:22,116 --> 01:22:25,108
Okay, okay. Well, okay.
Okay, so if you, uh...
1246
01:22:25,186 --> 01:22:27,154
If you were imagining me,
y-y-you did grea...
1247
01:22:27,221 --> 01:22:29,917
- What the hell were you doing?
- Uh, Bob, I'm really sorry about th...
1248
01:22:29,991 --> 01:22:31,925
She kissed me back.
1249
01:22:31,993 --> 01:22:35,053
- I kissed you back?
- Yes, you did. You kissed me back.
1250
01:22:35,129 --> 01:22:37,256
Yeah, caught that.
1251
01:22:37,331 --> 01:22:40,095
You want to tell me how long
this has been going on?
1252
01:22:40,168 --> 01:22:44,400
- About a minute.
- A little longer for me.
1253
01:22:44,472 --> 01:22:46,440
- Really?
- Yeah.
1254
01:22:46,507 --> 01:22:49,476
What do you expect me
to say to this?
1255
01:22:49,544 --> 01:22:52,775
- Hello?
- Well, Bob, you could say, uh...
1256
01:22:52,847 --> 01:22:55,680
"Well, I hope you two
will be really happy together."
1257
01:22:58,252 --> 01:23:01,881
I hope you two will be
really happy together.
1258
01:23:02,757 --> 01:23:04,782
Uh, uh... Take care of him.
1259
01:23:04,859 --> 01:23:08,955
- Oh! Are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
1260
01:23:12,066 --> 01:23:15,263
Bob? Bob!
1261
01:23:15,336 --> 01:23:18,499
Bob, I'm sorry. I'm... I...
1262
01:23:18,573 --> 01:23:21,133
At least this time I backed out
before the wedding! I...
1263
01:23:21,209 --> 01:23:23,143
That's progress!
1264
01:23:23,211 --> 01:23:26,009
You are going to find some woman
who can make you so much happier...
1265
01:23:26,080 --> 01:23:28,480
than I ever could!
1266
01:23:28,549 --> 01:23:31,541
- Look out.
- Ooh! See?
1267
01:23:31,619 --> 01:23:33,610
See? I-It's happening already.
1268
01:23:33,688 --> 01:23:35,679
- She's good with needy men.
- Yeah.
1269
01:23:36,824 --> 01:23:40,453
Uh, yeah. Well, um...
1270
01:23:40,528 --> 01:23:44,055
- Why don't you just call me later?
- Yeah.
1271
01:23:44,132 --> 01:23:46,100
- Okay.
- Bob?
1272
01:23:46,167 --> 01:23:50,126
This may not be a good time,
but here's my number.
1273
01:23:50,204 --> 01:23:52,695
Drive safely, Bob!
1274
01:23:55,042 --> 01:23:57,340
Kid wants to lock up, go home.
1275
01:23:59,947 --> 01:24:02,677
- How's Bob?
- Mm.
1276
01:24:02,750 --> 01:24:05,116
Okay.
1277
01:24:06,187 --> 01:24:09,020
So, what just happened just now?
1278
01:24:09,090 --> 01:24:11,957
- Then. In there.
- I don't know. I-I...
1279
01:24:12,026 --> 01:24:16,588
I frankly... I don't
even want to talk about it.
1280
01:24:16,664 --> 01:24:18,894
Me neither.
1281
01:24:23,604 --> 01:24:25,572
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
1282
01:24:25,640 --> 01:24:28,336
Wait. No, no, no.
No. No, we can't...
1283
01:24:28,409 --> 01:24:31,936
Stop. Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We gotta...
1284
01:24:32,013 --> 01:24:34,743
We have to talk.
We have... We have to talk!
1285
01:24:34,815 --> 01:24:36,942
We have to do some
talking now, all right?
1286
01:24:37,018 --> 01:24:39,043
Just come over here.
1287
01:24:39,120 --> 01:24:41,850
- Pull up a... Pull up a rail.
- I was enjoying it.
1288
01:24:41,923 --> 01:24:46,553
- Okay.
- All right. We're...
1289
01:24:46,627 --> 01:24:49,187
- Just give me a little space here.
- Okay.
1290
01:24:49,263 --> 01:24:52,892
I'm... All right.
1291
01:24:57,271 --> 01:24:59,762
Do you think may...
1292
01:25:02,210 --> 01:25:05,043
Well, you do have a dress.
1293
01:25:06,747 --> 01:25:08,874
And the church.
1294
01:25:08,950 --> 01:25:11,214
And the wedding date.
1295
01:25:12,286 --> 01:25:15,119
And there's the two of us.
1296
01:25:15,189 --> 01:25:17,714
Maybe...
1297
01:25:21,095 --> 01:25:23,529
You do have to go down the aisle...
1298
01:25:23,598 --> 01:25:25,725
with somebody...
1299
01:25:25,800 --> 01:25:28,268
that you love...
1300
01:25:28,336 --> 01:25:30,463
and who loves you back.
1301
01:25:30,538 --> 01:25:32,631
Who?
1302
01:25:49,390 --> 01:25:51,324
I'm okay with that.
1303
01:25:55,062 --> 01:25:57,257
So am I.
1304
01:26:05,706 --> 01:26:08,038
I'm getting married.
1305
01:26:18,419 --> 01:26:20,011
You do this often?
1306
01:26:20,087 --> 01:26:23,181
Well, there's not
a lot to do around here.
1307
01:26:23,257 --> 01:26:26,488
I just believe
he's listening to you.
1308
01:26:26,560 --> 01:26:29,495
His hair, any color...
1309
01:26:29,563 --> 01:26:31,497
I like his tight butt.
1310
01:26:32,733 --> 01:26:35,065
- Grandma.
- Well, I do.
1311
01:26:35,136 --> 01:26:37,070
Look, I'll see you
at the wedding then. Right?
1312
01:26:37,138 --> 01:26:40,574
I mean, you're gonna be there, huh?
It's gonna be in 37 hours.
1313
01:26:40,641 --> 01:26:41,972
I didn't miss the first one.
1314
01:26:42,043 --> 01:26:44,102
We're gonna spend part
of the time here in town...
1315
01:26:44,178 --> 01:26:45,543
'cause he wants to write a book.
1316
01:26:45,613 --> 01:26:47,843
Well, you always wanted
to write a novel!
1317
01:26:47,915 --> 01:26:51,681
I feel inspired here. I feel...
I feel like I can write. I wanna write.
1318
01:26:51,752 --> 01:26:54,050
Ike is getting married!
1319
01:26:57,625 --> 01:26:59,889
Fisher, if you pee on that Persian,
I'm gonna kill you.
1320
01:26:59,960 --> 01:27:01,985
Hi! It's him.
He's on the phone.
1321
01:27:03,030 --> 01:27:06,022
I love you
1322
01:27:07,802 --> 01:27:08,996
- Hi.
- Hi.
1323
01:27:09,070 --> 01:27:14,167
- Hi. What are you doin'?
- Nothin'.
1324
01:27:14,241 --> 01:27:16,801
- Pick that up.
- What are you doin'?
1325
01:27:16,877 --> 01:27:19,539
- That's all right. That's all right.
- Nothin'.
1326
01:27:19,613 --> 01:27:22,047
Wow, I see
the most beautiful girl...
1327
01:27:23,117 --> 01:27:25,847
He can see me.
1328
01:27:25,920 --> 01:27:28,286
That's trump.
1329
01:27:28,356 --> 01:27:31,450
Ah! Double dutch!
Double du...
1330
01:27:31,525 --> 01:27:35,052
You were trying to cheat.
It doesn't work!
1331
01:27:35,129 --> 01:27:40,294
Get to me magically
Sure as the sky is blue
1332
01:27:40,368 --> 01:27:43,098
- Yeah
- Oh, my God.
1333
01:27:43,170 --> 01:27:45,195
I'm the winner!
1334
01:27:46,307 --> 01:27:48,468
See now, this is
a mature relationship.
1335
01:27:48,542 --> 01:27:51,443
Dramatically acting
Erratically need you
1336
01:27:51,512 --> 01:27:54,413
Fanatically
You get to me magically
1337
01:27:54,482 --> 01:27:59,920
Sure as the sky is blue
1338
01:27:59,987 --> 01:28:04,390
Baby, I love you
1339
01:28:04,458 --> 01:28:07,427
Do you love me too
1340
01:28:09,063 --> 01:28:12,726
Baby, I love you
1341
01:28:16,170 --> 01:28:18,331
Wedding bells are ringing
today in Hale, Maryland.
1342
01:28:18,406 --> 01:28:21,603
Maggie Carpenter... always a bride,
never a bridesmaid...
1343
01:28:21,675 --> 01:28:24,872
is attempting to complete
her fourth wedding ceremony.
1344
01:28:24,945 --> 01:28:27,880
We'll be back when results are in.
Back to you, Jessica.
1345
01:28:27,948 --> 01:28:29,882
Well, the turnout
for this morning's ceremony...
1346
01:28:29,950 --> 01:28:32,316
is usually saved for royalty
or Hollywood movie stars...
1347
01:28:32,386 --> 01:28:34,854
but Maggie Carpenter
is Hale, Maryland's very own...
1348
01:28:34,922 --> 01:28:37,584
Hey, T-shirts here.
I got "Bye-Bye Bridey."
1349
01:28:37,658 --> 01:28:40,092
I got "What part of 'I do'
don't you understand?"
1350
01:28:40,161 --> 01:28:42,493
Hey, get your
"Runaway Bride" T-shirts here.
1351
01:28:42,563 --> 01:28:45,999
Will she or won't she? That is on the
minds of these several hundred folks...
1352
01:28:46,066 --> 01:28:48,227
that are standing here this morning
not to mention on the mind...
1353
01:28:48,302 --> 01:28:51,100
of groom number four,
who is missing in action.
1354
01:28:51,172 --> 01:28:54,107
- He's gonna stand me up.
- Oh, of course he's gonna come.
1355
01:28:54,175 --> 01:28:57,804
Because today I saw
eight geese flying in a "V."
1356
01:28:57,878 --> 01:29:00,073
Oh, you with the lucky geese.
You always see geese!
1357
01:29:00,147 --> 01:29:02,206
- Not eight!
- Eight, and in a "V."
1358
01:29:02,283 --> 01:29:05,218
- Eight is better?
- Eight in a "V."
1359
01:29:05,286 --> 01:29:08,813
- Can you imagine?
- "V." "V" for, uh, "victory"!
1360
01:29:08,889 --> 01:29:11,119
- Victory!
- Victory!
1361
01:29:11,192 --> 01:29:13,922
- And "velcro."
- Okay.
1362
01:29:13,994 --> 01:29:15,962
Velcro is stuck together!
1363
01:29:16,030 --> 01:29:17,793
"Virginal."
1364
01:29:17,865 --> 01:29:19,526
Well...
1365
01:29:19,600 --> 01:29:22,160
- Well, you know...
- I'm sweaty. I'm-I'm nervous...
1366
01:29:22,236 --> 01:29:23,035
- Where are my bags?
- Okay.
1367
01:29:23,070 --> 01:29:23,834
- Where are my bags?
- Okay.
1368
01:29:23,904 --> 01:29:25,769
- No bags. Bags are for later. Um...
- No. Yes, yes.
1369
01:29:25,839 --> 01:29:29,570
- Rub your ears. Rub your ears.
- Rub your ears. That's a great idea.
1370
01:29:29,643 --> 01:29:32,077
That's a very good idea.
Rub your ears.
1371
01:29:32,145 --> 01:29:34,340
Cory does that to me
sometimes, with a little...
1372
01:29:34,414 --> 01:29:38,373
- And you just, whoo!
- We do it to the dog.
1373
01:29:38,451 --> 01:29:40,510
Get your "I Don't Think She Will" shirt.
1374
01:29:40,587 --> 01:29:43,317
These shirts
are not sold in stores!
1375
01:29:46,293 --> 01:29:49,592
- Here comes Ike Graham!
- Show time!
1376
01:29:51,965 --> 01:29:55,423
That's better. That's, uh...
That's pretty nice, actually.
1377
01:29:55,502 --> 01:29:57,367
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- That's nice.
1378
01:29:57,437 --> 01:30:01,498
- He's here!
- Who's here? I see him!
- He's here.
1379
01:30:01,575 --> 01:30:03,907
And Ike Graham
has arrived at the church.
1380
01:30:06,179 --> 01:30:08,841
- Is this your first marriage?
- Is this your last marriage?
1381
01:30:08,915 --> 01:30:12,248
- Any little Grahams in the future?
- Oh, he gets whacked!
1382
01:30:12,319 --> 01:30:15,117
All right. Okay. First. Yes. Okay.
1383
01:30:15,188 --> 01:30:18,123
- All right. Okay. Okay.
- Would you get it off?
1384
01:30:18,191 --> 01:30:20,284
- Who makes this? Who? Who?
- All right.
1385
01:30:20,360 --> 01:30:23,295
- The veil is not attacking you.
- Okay. Okay.
1386
01:30:23,363 --> 01:30:27,857
- Now is the time to calm down.
- Yes.
1387
01:30:27,934 --> 01:30:32,098
Because if you don't get calm,
we won't get your dress on.
1388
01:30:32,172 --> 01:30:34,800
A girl can't get married in flannel.
1389
01:30:37,010 --> 01:30:39,205
He's the one.
1390
01:30:39,279 --> 01:30:41,213
He really is the one.
1391
01:30:41,281 --> 01:30:44,409
- Ike!
- You're not invited! You got...
1392
01:30:44,484 --> 01:30:46,543
Robert, please! Go back
to New York. Get outta here.
1393
01:30:46,620 --> 01:30:48,986
He's the one!
1394
01:30:49,055 --> 01:30:50,784
He's the one!
1395
01:30:50,857 --> 01:30:53,382
We, we, we gotta hurry, 'cause
the Sunday school kids are coming.
1396
01:30:53,460 --> 01:30:55,587
- Mrs. Pressman...
- Don't worry. There's no microphone.
1397
01:30:55,662 --> 01:30:57,596
Please. Put it there.
1398
01:30:57,664 --> 01:30:59,222
- No fun.
- No. No fun.
1399
01:30:59,299 --> 01:31:01,426
Listen, I was going to do this Scorsese
thing, where I come down the aisle...
1400
01:31:01,501 --> 01:31:03,196
Whatever, just do it.
Shoot, shoot. Shoot.
1401
01:31:03,270 --> 01:31:07,400
- Ike.
- Friends! Oh, God.
1402
01:31:08,475 --> 01:31:10,943
God, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
1403
01:31:11,011 --> 01:31:13,502
Thank you.
We are friends, aren't we, Fisher?
1404
01:31:13,580 --> 01:31:16,344
- Of course we are, of course.
- Yes, and you'll be my best man.
1405
01:31:16,416 --> 01:31:18,350
I'm good, but
I'm not sure I'm the best.
1406
01:31:18,418 --> 01:31:20,784
You just go over and see the pastor.
He'll tell you what to do.
1407
01:31:20,854 --> 01:31:24,585
- All right.
- If someone will tell me what to do.
1408
01:31:24,658 --> 01:31:27,821
Mm. You always looked
great in that suit.
1409
01:31:27,894 --> 01:31:31,227
And, Ike, I'm happy for you, honey.
1410
01:31:33,233 --> 01:31:35,997
I have a car waiting out back for you
just in case she decides to run.
1411
01:31:37,304 --> 01:31:40,102
I have an invitation.
Lou, he's with me.
1412
01:31:44,911 --> 01:31:46,902
You look terrible.
1413
01:31:46,980 --> 01:31:49,972
Thanks.
1414
01:31:50,050 --> 01:31:52,416
Here.
1415
01:31:52,485 --> 01:31:55,852
- Ike, I'm glad it's you.
- Really?
1416
01:31:55,922 --> 01:31:57,856
I wouldn't want
to have found out...
1417
01:31:57,924 --> 01:32:01,018
that I wasn't the one for her
in the fourth quarter.
1418
01:32:02,996 --> 01:32:04,964
Well, Coach,
any final advice?
1419
01:32:08,902 --> 01:32:11,530
- Maintain eye contact.
- Eye contact.
1420
01:32:11,604 --> 01:32:14,334
Eye contact.
Eye contact. Eye contact.
1421
01:32:30,056 --> 01:32:33,492
I'm not coming up here.
It's just that you want to look...
1422
01:32:33,560 --> 01:32:35,494
just special for the wedding.
1423
01:32:35,562 --> 01:32:38,087
You know, you should thank me and Lou
for lending you the wedding car.
1424
01:32:38,164 --> 01:32:40,098
- '63 Buick.
- Thank you, Mrs. Trout.
1425
01:32:40,166 --> 01:32:43,033
Oh, what are you saying?
We're practically family.
1426
01:32:43,103 --> 01:32:45,128
- How's that there?
- Hello.
1427
01:32:45,205 --> 01:32:48,368
- My name is Fisher. What's yours?
- You look so nice. Nice. Betty.
1428
01:32:48,441 --> 01:32:50,375
That doesn't want
to come out, does it?
1429
01:32:50,443 --> 01:32:52,377
- You just pulled a hair from my neck.
- There we are. Okay.
1430
01:32:52,445 --> 01:32:54,379
- Mrs. Trout. Mrs. Trout, please.
- This is fine.
1431
01:32:54,447 --> 01:32:55,880
- This is my wedding. You know?
- Yes!
1432
01:32:55,949 --> 01:32:57,883
Come sit down. Thank you.
We're starting pretty soon.
1433
01:32:57,951 --> 01:33:00,317
- Who was that?
- Mrs. Trout.
1434
01:33:00,387 --> 01:33:02,685
- He doesn't have...
- Don't do... Don't. Don't.
1435
01:33:02,756 --> 01:33:04,724
- I just wanted that to be able to...
- Don't. Don't.
1436
01:33:04,791 --> 01:33:06,850
- Over there in the pocket.
Right in the pocket.
- Don't do...
1437
01:33:06,926 --> 01:33:10,089
- Please! Just go s...
- That's nice!
1438
01:33:10,163 --> 01:33:12,996
- Good luck, sweet girl.
- Oh! Thank you, Grandma. I love you.
1439
01:33:14,434 --> 01:33:18,097
- I'm really rooting for this one.
- Okay, Dad.
1440
01:33:18,171 --> 01:33:21,902
The place is packed, with the whole
town of Hale on the bride's side...
1441
01:33:21,975 --> 01:33:23,909
and with many New Yorkers
on the groom's side.
1442
01:33:27,480 --> 01:33:29,846
- Is this taken?
- No.
1443
01:33:31,418 --> 01:33:34,751
- I'm Elaine, from Manhattan.
- I'm Bob, Maggie's fourth attempt.
1444
01:33:34,821 --> 01:33:37,619
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
1445
01:33:37,690 --> 01:33:42,957
There's a lid for every pot. And I'm...
I'm comfortable with Ike, you know.
1446
01:33:43,029 --> 01:33:47,728
It's like Jack Dempsey lost
his heavyweight title to a New Yorker.
1447
01:33:47,801 --> 01:33:49,996
Right. Gene Tunney.
1448
01:33:52,772 --> 01:33:55,832
- Oh.
- Spit.
1449
01:33:55,909 --> 01:33:58,104
Let's go.
1450
01:33:59,279 --> 01:34:02,305
Uh, okay.
Um, no sauntering down the aisle.
1451
01:34:02,382 --> 01:34:04,942
I don't like that. Just make time.
Just get there. Just go.
1452
01:34:05,018 --> 01:34:06,383
- Fine.
- Okay.
1453
01:34:19,732 --> 01:34:22,428
All rise, please.
1454
01:34:38,685 --> 01:34:40,710
The bride is walking
down the aisle.
1455
01:34:40,787 --> 01:34:44,223
Maggie Carpenter
is walking down the aisle.
1456
01:34:47,360 --> 01:34:50,193
- Don't stop...
- Oh, she's pausing.
1457
01:34:50,263 --> 01:34:52,697
- Keep eye contact.
- Come on. Stay with me.
1458
01:34:52,765 --> 01:34:54,699
Keep eye contact...
1459
01:35:05,445 --> 01:35:08,573
Please be seated. Thank you.
1460
01:35:08,648 --> 01:35:11,014
I sneaked in a camera.
1461
01:35:12,218 --> 01:35:16,780
We are gathered here today...
Please, no cameras now.
1462
01:35:16,856 --> 01:35:20,849
Could we hold off photos until
the end of the ceremony? Thank you.
1463
01:35:20,927 --> 01:35:24,158
- Oh...
- We are gathered here today...
- No!
1464
01:35:24,230 --> 01:35:26,698
- Where is she going?
- Don't!
1465
01:35:27,834 --> 01:35:29,597
- Maggie!
- Lock the doors!
1466
01:35:29,669 --> 01:35:31,762
Please be seated!
1467
01:35:33,206 --> 01:35:35,697
No, Maggie! Don't!
1468
01:35:39,045 --> 01:35:42,105
Mag... No! Come here!
1469
01:35:42,181 --> 01:35:44,741
Oh, never a dull moment
at a Maggie wedding!
1470
01:35:44,817 --> 01:35:46,785
There's a man coming down the stairs
with lots of candy in his pockets...
1471
01:35:46,853 --> 01:35:49,117
and if you tickle him,
he'll give you all of his candy.
1472
01:35:49,188 --> 01:35:52,419
- Here you go, little queen.
- Maggie!
1473
01:35:52,492 --> 01:35:54,084
Maggie!
1474
01:35:54,160 --> 01:35:57,789
- Give me some candy!
- Whoa, ho! Whoa. No, no, no. Not me.
1475
01:35:57,864 --> 01:36:00,765
No, don't cry! Don't cry!
1476
01:36:00,833 --> 01:36:04,098
No, no! Get her!
It's an Armani suit!
1477
01:36:06,339 --> 01:36:08,739
Wait!
1478
01:36:10,443 --> 01:36:12,377
- Wait!
- Maggie!
1479
01:36:13,546 --> 01:36:15,480
Go. Go. Go, go.
1480
01:36:17,317 --> 01:36:20,946
Maggie! Maggie!
1481
01:36:21,020 --> 01:36:26,253
Don't do it! Don't! Maggie!
1482
01:36:26,326 --> 01:36:29,523
- He's running after her.
- He's in pretty good shape too.
1483
01:36:29,596 --> 01:36:33,259
Maggie! No, Maggie!
1484
01:36:33,333 --> 01:36:35,062
Where do you think she's going?
1485
01:36:35,134 --> 01:36:37,659
Well, wherever it is,
she'll be there by 10:30 tomorrow.
1486
01:36:38,905 --> 01:36:42,306
Maggie! Don't!
1487
01:36:48,147 --> 01:36:52,413
Maggie! Don't! No!
1488
01:36:52,485 --> 01:36:55,045
Maggie!
1489
01:36:59,993 --> 01:37:02,757
Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham!
Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham!
1490
01:37:02,829 --> 01:37:05,662
Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham,
how do you feel now?
1491
01:37:08,901 --> 01:37:11,233
Mr. Graham. Mr. Graham.
What is your next move?
1492
01:37:11,304 --> 01:37:13,272
- How do you feel right now?
- What will you do now?
1493
01:37:13,339 --> 01:37:14,829
I know you must feel terrible.
1494
01:37:14,907 --> 01:37:17,637
What would you think about
giving her a second chance?
1495
01:37:17,710 --> 01:37:19,974
- Mr. Graham!
- Mr. Graham, talk to us.
- That's enough.
1496
01:37:20,046 --> 01:37:23,106
- Come on. Leave him alone.
- What will you do now?
- Mr. Graham, just a couple of questions.
1497
01:37:29,756 --> 01:37:34,159
"Hardware Honey Goes Nuts And Bolts."
How many times is she gonna do this?
1498
01:37:38,598 --> 01:37:43,934
Aura Lee, Aura Lee
1499
01:37:44,003 --> 01:37:46,972
And finally, in local news,
the mayor has requested...
1500
01:37:47,040 --> 01:37:49,099
that we all stop
gossiping about last week's...
1501
01:37:49,175 --> 01:37:51,973
Maggie Carpenter almost wedding.
1502
01:37:52,045 --> 01:37:55,310
This is Cory Flemming,
for WHALE, saying...
1503
01:37:55,381 --> 01:37:57,941
may the good Lord make you
smart enough to live in a small town.
1504
01:37:58,017 --> 01:38:00,151
And we cut.
1505
01:38:00,285 --> 01:38:03,015
Camera loves ya.
1506
01:38:04,456 --> 01:38:07,755
- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah.
1507
01:38:07,826 --> 01:38:10,260
I'm closing. You want to go
to Butch's for a drink?
1508
01:38:10,328 --> 01:38:13,263
Uh... You know, I'm gonna
finish up here...
1509
01:38:13,331 --> 01:38:15,424
and then I think
I'll just head home.
1510
01:38:15,500 --> 01:38:18,958
Okay.
1511
01:38:19,037 --> 01:38:20,971
You know...
1512
01:38:22,040 --> 01:38:24,804
I was thinking about
that "V" thing...
1513
01:38:24,876 --> 01:38:29,472
and I think the "V"
in the geese was half...
1514
01:38:29,547 --> 01:38:32,607
of a "W" for...
1515
01:38:32,684 --> 01:38:36,347
For, uh, w-w-w-w...
1516
01:38:36,421 --> 01:38:38,855
- What are you talking about?
- Wedding! Wedding!
1517
01:38:38,924 --> 01:38:42,621
You just gotta get
the rest of your ducks in a row.
1518
01:38:44,429 --> 01:38:46,897
Thank you.
1519
01:38:50,201 --> 01:38:52,396
- So, you still think that he...
- You're quick.
1520
01:38:52,470 --> 01:38:54,904
You're very quick.
1521
01:39:14,025 --> 01:39:16,892
I thought that
1522
01:39:16,962 --> 01:39:21,592
You'd be lovin' me
1523
01:39:21,666 --> 01:39:23,827
I thought you were the one who'd
1524
01:39:23,902 --> 01:39:27,668
Stay forever
1525
01:39:28,840 --> 01:39:34,073
But now forever's come and gone
1526
01:39:34,145 --> 01:39:39,913
And I'm still here alone
1527
01:39:41,186 --> 01:39:43,711
'Cause you were only playin'
1528
01:39:44,956 --> 01:39:48,084
You were only playin'
with my heart
1529
01:39:48,159 --> 01:39:50,627
I was never waiting
1530
01:39:51,963 --> 01:39:56,093
I was never waiting
for the tears to start
1531
01:39:56,167 --> 01:40:00,263
- It was you
- It was you
1532
01:40:00,338 --> 01:40:03,865
Who put the clouds above me
1533
01:40:03,942 --> 01:40:06,968
- It was you
- It was you
1534
01:40:07,045 --> 01:40:10,708
Who made the tears fall down
1535
01:40:10,782 --> 01:40:14,343
- It was you
- It was you
1536
01:40:14,419 --> 01:40:17,877
Who broke my heart in pieces
1537
01:40:17,956 --> 01:40:21,687
It was you, it was you
1538
01:40:21,760 --> 01:40:25,457
Who made my blue eyes blue
1539
01:40:25,530 --> 01:40:29,557
Oh, oh, I never
should have trusted you
1540
01:40:29,634 --> 01:40:32,330
Okay. Here we go.
1541
01:40:32,404 --> 01:40:34,736
And I thought that
1542
01:40:34,806 --> 01:40:39,368
I'd be all you need
1543
01:40:39,444 --> 01:40:43,574
In your eyes I thought I saw my face
1544
01:40:43,648 --> 01:40:46,344
- Hey, Ike. How's it goin'?
- Hey, Robert.
1545
01:40:46,418 --> 01:40:48,352
That good, huh?
1546
01:40:48,420 --> 01:40:51,787
'Cause you had me
believin' in a lie
1547
01:40:51,856 --> 01:40:55,257
Guess I couldn't see it
1548
01:40:55,326 --> 01:41:00,286
I guess I couldn't see it
till I saw good-bye
1549
01:41:00,365 --> 01:41:03,596
It was you
1550
01:41:03,668 --> 01:41:07,331
It was you
1551
01:41:07,405 --> 01:41:10,863
Who put those clouds around me
1552
01:41:10,942 --> 01:41:14,400
It was you
1553
01:41:14,479 --> 01:41:17,846
Who made the tears fall down
1554
01:41:17,916 --> 01:41:20,908
Only you
1555
01:41:20,985 --> 01:41:24,921
Who broke my heart in pieces
1556
01:41:24,989 --> 01:41:26,513
It was you
1557
01:41:26,591 --> 01:41:28,024
- Yeah, hi. It's me.
- It was you
1558
01:41:28,093 --> 01:41:32,553
- Leave a message after the beep.
- Who made my blue eyes blue
1559
01:41:32,630 --> 01:41:38,728
Oh, oh, never should
have trusted you
1560
01:41:38,803 --> 01:41:40,737
Hello, Ike.
1561
01:41:50,248 --> 01:41:54,582
Don't tell me. My doorman
is one of your many admirers.
1562
01:41:56,654 --> 01:42:02,422
I've been making friends with your cat.
Is it okay that I'm here?
1563
01:42:02,494 --> 01:42:06,453
I don't have much choice
in the matter, do I?
1564
01:42:06,531 --> 01:42:09,523
But I can't speak for Italics!
Traitor.
1565
01:42:11,736 --> 01:42:13,499
I don't blame you
for being mad.
1566
01:42:13,571 --> 01:42:16,267
Or furious.
1567
01:42:17,342 --> 01:42:20,209
Irate? Livid.
1568
01:42:21,513 --> 01:42:25,040
So, what is it, Maggie?
You in business?
1569
01:42:25,116 --> 01:42:28,449
Oh, yeah, I saw your lamps.
1570
01:42:28,520 --> 01:42:31,887
They're terrific.
Yeah, really.
1571
01:42:31,956 --> 01:42:35,448
It's something that I've
always wanted to do, and...
1572
01:42:35,527 --> 01:42:39,623
You know, you could make breaking
and entering into a new career.
1573
01:42:42,734 --> 01:42:45,396
So. What are you
doing here, anyway?
1574
01:42:48,239 --> 01:42:50,298
I wanted to...
1575
01:42:50,375 --> 01:42:53,344
talk to you about...
1576
01:42:53,411 --> 01:42:58,371
why I run... sometimes ride...
1577
01:42:58,449 --> 01:43:00,383
away from things.
1578
01:43:03,221 --> 01:43:06,054
- Does it matter?
- I think so.
1579
01:43:07,892 --> 01:43:09,883
When I was walking down the aisle...
1580
01:43:09,961 --> 01:43:13,192
I was walking toward somebody...
1581
01:43:13,264 --> 01:43:16,290
who had no idea...
1582
01:43:16,367 --> 01:43:18,892
who I really was.
1583
01:43:18,970 --> 01:43:23,737
And it was only half
the other person's fault...
1584
01:43:23,808 --> 01:43:28,643
because I had done
everything to convince him...
1585
01:43:28,713 --> 01:43:30,806
that I was exactly
what he wanted.
1586
01:43:30,882 --> 01:43:35,581
So, it was good that
I didn't go through with it...
1587
01:43:35,653 --> 01:43:39,020
because it would
have been a lie.
1588
01:43:39,090 --> 01:43:41,058
But you...
1589
01:43:43,127 --> 01:43:45,595
You knew the real me.
1590
01:43:47,599 --> 01:43:49,533
Yes, I did.
1591
01:43:49,601 --> 01:43:52,161
I didn't.
1592
01:43:53,538 --> 01:43:57,770
Still, I ended up
chasing a truck.
1593
01:44:11,522 --> 01:44:15,390
I can't, um, do anything
about the truck...
1594
01:44:17,362 --> 01:44:20,263
but, uh...
1595
01:44:23,801 --> 01:44:26,497
- Benedict.
- Arnold.
1596
01:44:26,571 --> 01:44:29,165
I love eggs Benedict.
1597
01:44:29,240 --> 01:44:31,970
I hate all the other kinds of eggs.
1598
01:44:32,043 --> 01:44:36,377
I hate big weddings.
Everybody staring.
1599
01:44:36,447 --> 01:44:38,972
I'd like to get married on a weekday,
while everybody's at work.
1600
01:44:39,050 --> 01:44:41,917
- Mm-hmm.
- And if I ride off into the sunset...
1601
01:44:41,986 --> 01:44:43,476
I want my own horse.
1602
01:44:43,554 --> 01:44:45,545
- Should I be writing this down?
- And there's something else.
1603
01:44:45,623 --> 01:44:50,117
No, no, you can tell me.
You can tell me. Don't... Come... Okay.
1604
01:44:55,233 --> 01:44:57,531
These are for you.
1605
01:45:02,473 --> 01:45:05,576
- Uh, used...
- Well, they're mine.
1606
01:45:05,710 --> 01:45:09,544
I'm turning in
my running shoes to you.
1607
01:45:13,785 --> 01:45:15,719
This is serious.
1608
01:45:15,787 --> 01:45:18,847
And there's one more thing. I know, the
mind reels that there could be more...
1609
01:45:18,923 --> 01:45:21,016
after... after this, but, um...
1610
01:45:21,092 --> 01:45:23,117
if you could just have a seat.
1611
01:45:23,194 --> 01:45:25,128
Oh!
1612
01:45:27,832 --> 01:45:32,599
Here, let's just
not have that there. Okay.
1613
01:45:32,670 --> 01:45:35,537
Okay.
1614
01:45:39,243 --> 01:45:42,770
- Oh, no. My God, no.
- No, no. Don't hide your face.
1615
01:45:42,847 --> 01:45:45,680
This happens once in a lifetime,
and it's definitely a first for me.
1616
01:45:45,750 --> 01:45:48,548
And you're not gonna want to miss it,
so pay close attention.
1617
01:45:55,693 --> 01:46:00,494
I love you,
Homer Eisenhower Graham.
1618
01:46:02,367 --> 01:46:04,301
Will you marry me?
1619
01:46:17,181 --> 01:46:19,411
- I gotta think about this a little bit.
- Okay, good.
1620
01:46:19,484 --> 01:46:21,679
- I was hoping that you would say that.
- You were not!
1621
01:46:21,753 --> 01:46:23,983
- No, no, I was, I was.
- Not true!
- Because if you'd said yes right away...
1622
01:46:24,055 --> 01:46:27,286
I wouldn't be able to do this next part
I've been practicing, so let me just...
1623
01:46:29,727 --> 01:46:31,854
Okay.
1624
01:46:31,929 --> 01:46:35,023
- Ready?
- I'm listening.
1625
01:46:42,907 --> 01:46:47,674
I guarantee that
we'll have tough times.
1626
01:46:47,745 --> 01:46:50,873
And I guarantee
that at some point...
1627
01:46:50,948 --> 01:46:54,145
one, or both of us,
will want to get out.
1628
01:46:55,787 --> 01:46:58,654
But I also guarantee...
1629
01:46:58,723 --> 01:47:02,022
that if I don't ask you
to be mine...
1630
01:47:02,093 --> 01:47:04,857
I'll regret it
for the rest of my life...
1631
01:47:04,929 --> 01:47:08,524
because I know in my heart...
1632
01:47:08,599 --> 01:47:11,864
you're the only one for me.
1633
01:47:19,043 --> 01:47:21,671
That's a pretty
good speech, Maggie.
1634
01:47:21,746 --> 01:47:25,079
I borrowed it
from this writer I know.
1635
01:47:27,485 --> 01:47:30,147
So?
1636
01:47:57,782 --> 01:48:00,012
Dance with me.
1637
01:48:22,507 --> 01:48:24,998
We are gathered here today
to celebrate the union...
1638
01:48:25,076 --> 01:48:28,512
of Maggie Carpenter
and Ike Graham.
1639
01:48:40,992 --> 01:48:43,722
- Do you have the rings?
- Yes.
1640
01:48:43,794 --> 01:48:46,888
Do you, Ike, take Maggie
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
1641
01:48:50,401 --> 01:48:52,335
I do.
1642
01:48:52,403 --> 01:48:56,806
Do you, Maggie, take Ike to be
your lawfully wedded husband?
1643
01:48:56,874 --> 01:48:58,808
I do.
1644
01:48:58,876 --> 01:49:01,071
In this life that
you share together...
1645
01:49:01,145 --> 01:49:05,639
may your individuality
strengthen your love.
1646
01:49:06,884 --> 01:49:08,875
With the power vested in me...
1647
01:49:08,953 --> 01:49:12,218
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
1648
01:49:15,259 --> 01:49:18,228
You may kiss the bride.
1649
01:49:46,456 --> 01:49:49,050
Guess what. She did it!
1650
01:49:49,126 --> 01:49:51,720
Maggie Carpenter got married.
1651
01:49:51,795 --> 01:49:53,729
Alleluia
1652
01:49:58,702 --> 01:50:01,569
Betty, she did it! She did it!
1653
01:50:03,040 --> 01:50:07,739
- I need love, love, to ease my mind
- Alleluia, alleluia
1654
01:50:07,811 --> 01:50:11,645
I need to find, find
someone to call mine
1655
01:50:11,715 --> 01:50:14,741
But Mama said you can't hurry love
1656
01:50:14,818 --> 01:50:17,719
No, you just have to wait
1657
01:50:17,788 --> 01:50:20,416
She said love don't come easy
1658
01:50:20,490 --> 01:50:22,651
It's a game of give and take
1659
01:50:22,726 --> 01:50:26,992
I can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
1660
01:50:27,064 --> 01:50:30,192
You gotta just give it time
1661
01:50:30,267 --> 01:50:32,565
No matter how long it takes
1662
01:50:32,636 --> 01:50:34,695
But how many heartaches
1663
01:50:34,771 --> 01:50:36,762
Must I stand
1664
01:50:36,840 --> 01:50:41,470
Before I find a love
to let me live again
1665
01:50:41,545 --> 01:50:46,539
Right now the only thing
that keeps me hangin' on
1666
01:50:46,617 --> 01:50:51,111
When I feel my strength
Yeah, it's almost gone
1667
01:50:51,188 --> 01:50:53,520
- I remember Mama said
- You can't hurry love
1668
01:50:53,590 --> 01:50:56,616
No, you'll just have to wait
1669
01:50:56,693 --> 01:50:59,662
She said love don't come easy
1670
01:50:59,730 --> 01:51:02,528
It's a game of give and take
1671
01:51:02,599 --> 01:51:07,059
How long must I wait
How much more can I take
1672
01:51:07,137 --> 01:51:12,268
Before loneliness will cause
my heart, heart to break
1673
01:51:12,342 --> 01:51:16,278
I can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
1674
01:51:16,346 --> 01:51:19,543
She said just give it time
1675
01:51:19,616 --> 01:51:22,278
- No matter how long it takes
- Now, wait
1676
01:51:26,957 --> 01:51:29,983
Girl, I live for
how you make me feel
1677
01:51:30,060 --> 01:51:32,893
So I question all this being real
1678
01:51:32,963 --> 01:51:35,090
'Cause I'm not afraid to love
1679
01:51:35,165 --> 01:51:38,157
For the first time
I'm not afraid of love
1680
01:51:38,235 --> 01:51:41,830
Oh, this day seems made
for you and me
1681
01:51:41,905 --> 01:51:46,308
And you showed me what life needs to be
Yeah, you sang to me
1682
01:51:46,376 --> 01:51:48,810
Oh, you sang to me
1683
01:51:50,313 --> 01:51:53,339
All the while you were in front of me
1684
01:51:53,417 --> 01:51:55,647
I never realized
1685
01:51:55,719 --> 01:52:01,419
I just can't believe
I didn't see it in your eyes
1686
01:52:01,491 --> 01:52:04,688
I didn't see it
1687
01:52:04,761 --> 01:52:09,289
I can't believe it, whoa, but I feel it
1688
01:52:10,600 --> 01:52:13,535
When you sing to me
1689
01:52:13,603 --> 01:52:19,098
How I long to hear you sing
beneath the clear blue skies
1690
01:52:19,176 --> 01:52:24,204
And I promise you this time
I'll see it in your eyes
1691
01:52:24,281 --> 01:52:29,344
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
1692
01:52:29,419 --> 01:52:33,719
Oh, but I feel it
1693
01:52:33,790 --> 01:52:36,486
When you sing to me
1694
01:52:51,707 --> 01:52:54,835
Where were you on our wedding day
1695
01:52:54,911 --> 01:52:57,971
I got bad news that you went away
1696
01:52:58,047 --> 01:53:01,107
Where were you on our wedding day
1697
01:53:01,184 --> 01:53:04,085
You did me wrong and now you must pay
1698
01:53:04,153 --> 01:53:06,087
- Whoa-oh
- Whoa-oh
1699
01:53:06,155 --> 01:53:08,680
- And give me back my ring
- My ring
1700
01:53:08,758 --> 01:53:10,316
- Whoa-oh
- Whoa-oh
1701
01:53:10,393 --> 01:53:12,327
- Whoa-oh
- Whoa-oh
1702
01:53:12,395 --> 01:53:15,159
- I ain't gonna let you keep a thing
- A thing
1703
01:53:15,231 --> 01:53:17,165
Whoa-oh
1704
01:53:17,233 --> 01:53:20,293
Where were you when I said, I do
1705
01:53:20,369 --> 01:53:23,270
Everybody laughed and my in-laws too
1706
01:53:23,339 --> 01:53:26,536
Where were you when I turned around
1707
01:53:26,609 --> 01:53:29,407
Someplace you knew
you never could be found
1708
01:53:29,479 --> 01:53:31,413
- Whoa-oh
- Whoa-oh
1709
01:53:31,481 --> 01:53:33,949
- Give me back my ring
- My ring
1710
01:53:34,016 --> 01:53:35,677
- Whoa-oh
- Whoa-oh
1711
01:53:35,751 --> 01:53:37,685
- Whoa-oh
- Whoa-oh
1712
01:53:37,753 --> 01:53:39,880
I ain't gonna let you keep a thing
1713
01:53:39,956 --> 01:53:42,550
- A thing
- Whoa-oh
1714
01:53:58,774 --> 01:54:01,265
Mm-mm-mm
1715
01:54:02,678 --> 01:54:09,083
My heart says we've got something real
1716
01:54:09,151 --> 01:54:13,247
Can I trust the way I feel
1717
01:54:13,322 --> 01:54:18,225
'Cause my heart's been fooled before
1718
01:54:19,328 --> 01:54:25,324
Am I just seeing what I want
1719
01:54:25,401 --> 01:54:28,165
To see
1720
01:54:28,237 --> 01:54:31,695
Or is it true
1721
01:54:31,774 --> 01:54:35,301
Could you really be
1722
01:54:35,378 --> 01:54:40,338
Someone to have and hold
1723
01:54:40,416 --> 01:54:44,045
With all my heart and soul
1724
01:54:44,120 --> 01:54:46,520
I need to know
1725
01:54:46,589 --> 01:54:51,754
Before I fall in love
1726
01:54:51,827 --> 01:54:56,821
Someone who'll stay around
1727
01:54:56,899 --> 01:55:00,926
Through all my ups and downs
1728
01:55:01,003 --> 01:55:02,971
Please tell me now
1729
01:55:03,039 --> 01:55:08,909
Before I fall in love
1730
01:55:10,479 --> 01:55:13,346
It's been so hard for me
1731
01:55:13,416 --> 01:55:17,375
To give my heart away
1732
01:55:17,453 --> 01:55:21,651
But I would give my everything
1733
01:55:21,724 --> 01:55:24,818
Just to hear you say
1734
01:55:24,894 --> 01:55:29,957
Someone to have and hold
1735
01:55:30,032 --> 01:55:34,059
With all my heart and soul
1736
01:55:34,136 --> 01:55:36,195
Please tell me now
1737
01:55:36,272 --> 01:55:40,003
Before I fall
1738
01:55:40,076 --> 01:55:43,273
In love
1739
01:55:44,480 --> 01:55:46,539
Ooh-ooh
1740
01:55:46,616 --> 01:55:49,107
Before I fall
1741
01:55:49,185 --> 01:55:54,953
In love
142214
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