Original subtitles

*Tima*

No, but you've had one postponement already.

All right. All right.

The case is postponed till next Thursday.

- Now, that'll be the 26th. - Thank you, Your Honor.

- Be here. - Thank you, Your Honor.

Are the parties ready in the matter of Ellen Arden?

Yes, here.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- It'll be very kind of you... - Just a moment.

- Wasn't I supposed to marry somebody? - Why, yes. Yes, Your Honor.

Well, let's get it over with. This can wait.

This is a very complicated case, this Arden matter.

- Yes, but, Your Honor... - Yes, it's very complicated.

- If Your Honor please... - Your Honor.

Wait a minute. What?

- Says what? - She's dead.

What's that?

Who's dead?

Oh, that's sad. That's very sad.

If Your Honor please...

- You're Arden? - Yes.

That's what I thought.

Well, Mr. Arden, as I understand it, your wife, Ellen Wagstaff Arden...

...was a member of an anthropological expedition...

- ...shipwrecked off the coast of lndochina. - Yes, Your Honor.

Now, what was she doing on an expedition? Mother of two infant children.

You'll find the circumstances in my brief.

"Said Ellen Wagstaff Arden was engaged as a photographer for a three-month period."

You see, in the first place, we were gonna take the trip together...

...but I got involved in a case and couldn't leave. We talked it over, and she decided...

...to travel alone. She needed a change.

- Tough time with the children, teething... - Just the facts. Never mind teething.

- Yes. - You're a lawyer. Stick to the facts.

Yes, Your Honor. They're in my brief, sir.

- Well, let me read it. Stop interrupting. - Yes, Your Honor.

When did you say the ship went down?

Page seven, in September the 3rd, 1 932. It's page seven, here.

Never mind, never mind. I'll find it.

- No, sir. Page seven. This is page four. - I know it's four. I know that.

Oh, here it is. Page seven.

That...

"Last seen entering one of the lifeboats when..."

I can't see. "When a wave..."

Oh, that's very sad. Very sad.

What the...? Hey. Young woman.

What do you think you're doing? Put that confounded mirror away.

- Do you want to blind me? - I'm very sorry.

Ought to wash her face instead of paint it.

You know there's such a thing as contempt of court, don't you?

Don't let me get after you.

- Now, where was I? - Page seven, the shipwreck.

What efforts did you make to trace your wife?

Page eight. I went to Bangkok and interviewed all available survivors...

...who agreed that Ellen Wagstaff Arden had been...

"Swept overboard before aid could reach her. Deposition..."

Quiet.

- Yes, but I can explain... - There's nothing to explain.

Nothing to explain at all.

Testimony's here. Sworn affidavits.

No evidence to the contrary. The law is clear.

I hereby pronounce Ellen Wagstaff Arden legally dead.

Wasn't I supposed to marry somebody?

- Yes, sir. Us. - What? What's that?

- Are you gonna get married again? - Yes, Your Honor.

Are you sure you've had time to think it over?

- Your honor, Mr. Arden is over 21 . - Not now, Bianca.

All right. Hold hands.

"We're here in the presence of witnesses to join in matrimony this man and woman...

...according to the powers vested in me by the laws of the state..."

- Is this it? - Yeah.

Thanks for the lift.

- What are you crying about, sister? - This is my house. I live here.

- So what? ls that bad? - No.

Bye.

- Watch me do a swan dive! - I can do it better than you!

- Watch me this time! - You're not supposed to run.

Last one in is a jerk on this Greenline Express!

- Watch me. - I don't wanna go in.

Boy, it's like an iceberg in here.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hello there. - Hello.

Are you a lady or a man?

- Well, I used to be a lady. - Are you a sailor?

- A lady sailor? - Well...

My mother was like a sailor. She went down at sea.

- Oh, he's always boasting. - I am not boasting.

My mother drowned in the Pacific Ocean. We're not supposed to know.

- Do you miss her very much? - Oh, sure.

- Would you like to have her back? - Can't have her back. She's drowned.

I'm a human fly.

We put flowers on her grave every Easter with Daddy.

- You do? - Then Daddy buys us burgers and root beer.

- Do you mind those braces very much? - Yes, I do.

Daddy says he doesn't want her to grow up and look like a moose.

What a thing to say.

Well, hello.

- Come here, Corky. - Oh, how are you?

- Corky, get away from there. - He never acts that way with strangers.

My, you've gotten fat.

Sure, he's fat. He's old. He's as old as me.

Corky, do as I tell you.

Is your grandmother in?

I forgot. We're not allowed to talk to strangers.

- Is your grandmother in? - Pardon me. We can't talk to strangers.

Come here, Corky. Come on.

Come on, Corky. Come on.

Come on. Attaboy!

...to the exchange department. I've already phoned them.

They know all about it. You'll find the package in my room.

I want you to get flowers for the bedrooms.

- Any particular kind, Ma? - I think she likes tea roses.

- Yes, Ma. - That's all.

- Yes? What is it? - Hello, darling.

Ellen.

Good heavens. Ellen!

Now, now. Now, take it easy. Here, take some of this.

Come on. It'll do you good.

There.

- You all right, Ma? - I can't believe it. I just can't believe it.

- Bless your heart. - After all these years, it just isn't possible.

- Oh, is it really you, Ellen? - Of course it is.

- How's Nicky? - Nicky?

Yes. Your son, my husband. He's all right, isn't he?

- Oh, yes. Nicky's fine. Fine. - Oh, good.

Ellen, where have you been?

Latitude 12, longitude 128.

I'd still be there if a Portuguese freighter hadn't wandered 200 miles off-course.

What?

It was a very small freighter. Very dirty.

- Mother? - Yes?

- May I have a bath? - Of course, dear.

Right now.

- I'm sorry I gave you such a fright. - Oh, it was nothing.

Oh, that's new, isn't it? Oh, I like that.

I'm so confused, I don't know where to begin.

- Oh, by the way, how was my funeral? - Lovely.

- Dr. Blake preached a wonderful sermon. - Oh, I wish I'd been there.

Oh, this was wonderful.

First hot bath in years.

- Tell me about Nicky. Handsome as ever? - I think so.

- Prosperous? - Oh, yes.

Where is he now, still at the office?

Ellen, there's something I've got to tell you.

Nick's married again.

He is?

- Is she nice? - No.

Do I know her? Nancy Beal, I'll bet. She always had her eye...

No. He met this one on the boat, when he went to look for you.

On the b...

That's one thing I never thought of...

...Nick's marrying again.

- Just how long did he wait? - Well, he got married this morning.

- This morning? - Went off to Yosemite for the honeymoon.

Don't say they're at the same hotel we...

Well, Nick had some business in San Francisco.

What are you going to do?

- Have you got anything I can wear? - I saved a few of your old things.

- Good. Think we can find something nice? - I think so. Maybe a little long, but...

Oh, I wonder, do planes fly to Yosemite?

- Yes. What are you going to do? - I don't know, but I hope I'm not too late.

- Is Mr. Arden here? - Yes, madam?

- Mr. Nicholas Arden? - No, Mr. Arden hasn't arrived yet.

- Are you the bride, by any chance? - No.

No, not exactly.

I'll just wait.

- My name is Arden. - Oh, yes, Mr. Arden. Sorry.

I believe that...

Oh, nothing. Suite A.

- Suite A? - It's our best.

- I'd rather not, if you don't mind. - I beg your pardon?

Have you anything else?

Suite C.

I...

I couldn't take that suite A because...

Because I've been here before.

Sorry to keep you waiting, dear.

Nick.

Funny. I thought I...

Silly, silly.

Exciting, isn't it?

- I'll take this, please. - Yes, ma'am.

Anything else, sir?

- No, no. Here. - Thank you, sir.

Oh, darling.

- Yes? - Waiter.

Why, Nicky. How nice.

- Shall I open it, sir? - By all means.

I didn't order wine. Must be a mistake.

No mistake, sir. With the compliments of an old friend.

It's Mumm, 1921.

- I've gotta go down. - What on earth for?

I've got to find out...

- ...if I can get some change. - I have loads of change.

Thank you, madam.

- Be right back. - What?

- No matches. See? No matches. - Be careful, Nicky, darling.

There's plenty of matches. Look at that. Plenty of matches.

- I was expecting a call... - Hello?

Did you ring here? Thank you.

I was expecting a call.

- Is something the matter? - No, no.

Wait a minute, I have a surprise for you.

- Like? - Fine, fine.

- Try it on. I've one just like it. They match. - That's quite an idea.

- Know what I need? - What?

- A shave. - What?

- I'll go to the barber. - You don't need a shave.

- Your skin's smooth as a baby's. - I feel like an ape.

- I don't mind. - Well, I don't feel right unless I shave.

You could shave yourself. I'd love to watch. Remember Victoria always watched Albert?

- Albert who? - Prince Albert and Queen Victoria, silly.

Oh, well, he didn't hack himself to pieces the way I do.

- I'll go to the barber's. - Don't be long.

Right back.

Ellen.

That's all I wanted to know.

Excuse me, folks.

There's a state law that don't allow necking in barrooms.

Oh, yes.

- Look, let's go somewhere we can talk. - Where?

- Well, let's go to your room. - Haven't got a room.

Oh, well, I'll get you one, huh?

- Yes? - I'd like to have another room.

Why, certainly, sir.

Yeah. Thank you very much.

- Is suite A available? - Suite A?

- Yeah. - Yes, suite A.

Front, suite A.

Have you any luggage, Miss...?

Oh, yes. I have a ticket right here, if you will just send for it.

- It's at the airport. - Airport.

- Thank you. - Very much.

What a man.

Hello, operator. Will you please page Mr. Arden?

Calling Mr. Arden.

Calling Mr. Arden.

Calling Mr. Arden.

Yes? Yes.

Mr. Arden?

Yes, he's here. It's for you.

Guess who.

- Hello? - Mr. Arden, if you're free...

...Mrs. Arden would like to see you.

Now, look here, my good...

All right.

What's the matter, Nick? Bride wondering where you are?

You'll have to face it, you know.

Yes, I know.

- What am I gonna say? - That depends on what you feel.

- I wanna do the right thing by everybody. - All right. Go ahead.

Not as easy as all that.

You see, Bianca's very sensitive. She's high-strung.

- Oh, one of those. - This is gonna be a horrible shock.

Think of her position. How will she face her family, her friends?

Are you in love with her?

You must have told her you were.

- Didn't you? - Well...

- Sure, you did. - All right. Sure, I did.

- How could you? - Well, I thought you... I didn't know.

- The minute my back was turned. - Minute?

Oh, Nick. Look at you.

Now, don't kid, honey. It's too serious.

No, no. I'll get it. It's for me. It's for me.

- Hello? - Mr. Arden.

We don't like to interfere with our guests' privacy.

They mind their own business, and we mind ours.

But your wife, Mr. Arden, is calling for you again.

Well, tell my wife I'll be right up. I'm still being shaved.

You know, I've got a feeling you're enjoying my misery.

Did you think she'd be a good mother?

- Was that why you were attracted to her? - That's it.

- She'd be good for the kids. - Of course.

Of course. I can understand that.

- Oh, you don't believe me, huh? - I didn't say that. I'm just facing facts.

You love this woman enough to ask her to be your wife...

...and the mother of my children. That takes a lot of love.

You sure you don't love her?

When I saw you downstairs, I knew...

Oh, go on. I bet you say that to all your wives.

- I could strangle you. - Hey, that's a way out.

Well, I just can't barge in and say, "Sorry, my mistake. Marriage is off." Can I?

What am I, a dope?

- Look. - What?

Let's try something like this.

I'll be... What was that name?

- Bianca. - Bianca.

All right, I'm Bianca.

Now, you come in. Come on, come in.

- You. Come in. - All right, I'm in.

Yeah. Now, say something.

- Hello, Bianca. - Oh, that's good.

Now, she'll say, "Hello, darling.

- Really, you've been a terribly long time." - She doesn't talk like that.

What's the difference? And then she'll say, "Darling, aren't you going to kiss me?"

Well, come on. Come on.

- This is silly. - Well, do it. Do it. Do it anyway.

- Come on. Do it. - All right.

Do it. No, I mean, do it from the beginning.

Go out and come in again. If you're gonna do it right, you may as well.

- I'll play if it'll make you happy. - Now, you're in.

- I'm in again. - And I say, "Aren't you going to kiss me?"

All right. I'm just gonna kiss.

Was that for Bianca?

Madam's luggage.

- Could I see you a moment? - Sure.

Excuse me, dear.

We run a first-class hotel, Mr. Arden.

And we don't like to be made a party to an intrigue.

We've maintained a reputation for respectability for 33 years.

And we don't intend to lose it in one night.

My reputation for respectability is just as high as your hotel's.

And don't forget mine.

It's a very simple situation, mister. Explain it to him, Nick.

All right, I will.

Now, I came up here with my wife... My bride, really.

Now, my wife... Not my bride, my wife...

- Why should I bore you with the details? - I won't be bored.

Listen. Now, it's as simple as ABC.

Don't tell me you've got somebody in B.

- You better go, Nick. - If you please.

- I'll be back. - I'm afraid not, Mr. Arden.

- Now... - Goodbye, Nick.

- Locked. - I have a passkey.

Passkey, huh?

People think of everything, huh? Passkey.

- No hard feelings? - No, no, no.

Relax.

Nick, is that you? I'll be right out, darling.

Nick?

You remember when we first arrived?

And I got in the elevator, and the door was closing like that? Well, that's when...

Well, that's when I first noticed it, Bianca.

Now, Bianca, this is the situation. Now, this hurts me more than it hurts you.

Oh, that's no good.

Start all over again.

Now, Bianca...

Now, Bianca, this is the situation. Something's come up. My wife. Yeah.

Truth is stranger than fiction.

This is the situation. Something's come up. My wife.

There are children to consider. Mother love and all that.

Even a tiger fights for its young. Yeah, that's good.

There's something between two married people...

...you don't get between two unmarried people, Bianca.

Now, be big. Be brave.

You will, Bianca? Fine.

Can I use your phone?

Hello? Give me Mrs. Arden in suite C, please.

Something's come up. My wife. Truth is stranger than fiction.

- Mrs. Arden? There's a call for you. - For me?

Yes, ma'am. This way, please.

Something's come up. My wife. Truth is strange to the fiction.

Truth is stranger than fiction. Stranger than fiction.

This is the situation. Something's come up. My wife...

- Hello? - Oh, hello? Hello? Bianca.

This is the situation. This hurts me more than you. No. Something's come up.

- Why don't you come up? - No. I mean, I can't.

- Why not? - Well, I'm... I'm in Carmel.

- Carmel? - Yes, I'm flying.

That client of mine in San Francisco, I should have told you...

...but he said to come quickly. Life or death.

- You might have told me before you left. - I can't hear you. I...

- I'm not staying here alone. - See, propellers. Propellers.

You come back here.

You tell your client he'll have to wait.

Propellers, see? Propellers, see?

Take the first plane back!

What? No. I've gotta run. Gotta run, gotta run.

We're taking off. I've gotta run. I've gotta run. Goodbye!

- Oh, boy, we went to the planetarium. - Look what I got. We had candy.

That's wonderful. Run along upstairs. Tell me about it later.

- We went to the zoo too. - Did you?

I'm exhausted.

Well, did you tell them who you are?

No. I came pretty close to it once or twice.

Oh, Ellen.

Well, you can't expect me to play a tender scene in front of the elephants, can you?

- Did you hear from Nick? - No. Not a word. It's funny.

Not to me. Suppose he's having trouble telling her?

Well, he's had a night and a day. That ought to be long enough.

Yes, that's just it. It's too long.

Don't you think you owe me an explanation?

Yes, I do.

Well?

When we get home.

...his father's cherry tree

And when his father came to see He stood up straight and tall like me

He told the truth about that tree He was no coward, oh, no, not he

- That's great. Where'd you learn that one? - Oh, around.

Did you know any pieces when you were little?

Yes, I used to know a few. Let's see.

Oh, here's one.

In old Kentuck, where I was born There ain't no Yanks and there ain't no corn

But the gals and the horses can't be beat To live down South is sure a treat

How come you talk like that?

- Y'all never heard anybody talk like that? - No. Did it take long to learn it?

No. Everybody talks like that down where I come from.

Even your mother.

She did?

- Before she drowned? - Of course. Nobody talks after they drown.

Sometimes they do.

Well, I mean, they're not really drowned.

People just think they are, but they're not, see?

My mother wouldn't do anything silly like that.

- Like what? - Talk after she drowned. That's ridiculous.

Yes, isn't it?

- Know any more pieces? - It's getting late. Get ready for dinner.

- Already? - Not yet.

- Come, come, come. - Go on, Timmy.

- See you later. - You too, Chinch.

Go on, darling.

Well.

- Hello, Chinch. - Hello.

How are you? Oh, you're getting heavy.

- Hello, Dad. - Tim, stick them up.

What'd I tell you? Keep them high.

- Hello. - Hello, Miss Bates.

- How are you? - Fine, thank you.

He's brought her home.

- Don't you suppose he's told her? - I guess not.

- Perhaps it's better if you weren't here. - Why should I leave?

- Don't you see? lt'll be a little awkward. - I know. I know.

Tell her I'm an old friend.

From the South.

Why don't you wash up? Isn't it dinnertime?

- It's not 6:00 yet. - Now, don't argue. In you go.

- What'd I do? - In you go.

Yes, sir.

Why didn't you tell them I'm their new mother?

Didn't I do that? Oh, I didn't want to confuse them.

- Confuse them? - I mean, I'm confused.

Driving and all that, you know. Come on. Let's go in.

Aren't you going to carry me across the threshold?

It's good luck.

Oh, sure, sure.

Hiya, Nicholas, honey!

Surprised?

- Y'all mind if I kiss the bridegroom? - Not at all.

Just one big, sisterly kiss.

There.

She's visiting with us.

Her mother and I went to school together in Virginia.

I just feel like she's my own daughter.

- How nice. - Isn't he the sweetest thing?

I used to just adore him. He was the darlingest boy you ever did see.

But faithless.

Just like a bumblebee going from flower to flower.

Oh, I was only fooling, honey.

I come from a fooling family.

My great-grandfather Lucius...

...was the first man to give the governor of North Carolina the hotfoot.

- You've been married before, haven't you? - Why, no, of course not.

Now, where did I get the idea you was a widow?

Not yet.

Well, I'll make a drink. Shall I?

You must be tired, son. You both look tired.

That's what I've been thinking, but not daring to say!

Oh, I'm just terrible, saying things like that!

Oh, isn't that lovely?

Isn't that a lovely thing?

- Engagement present? - Yes.

I used to have one exactly like it.

Exactly.

- Did y'all drive all night? - Why, no. We stopped at a charming place.

A sort of rose-covered cottage. Nick picked it.

He said he wanted just the right place.

It was so peaceful, so serene, so romantic.

Nick's so thoughtful.

- Isn't he, though? - Dinner's served.

- How's school, Tim? - Fine.

Tim's quite an orator.

- Will you recite for us? - I don't wanna recite.

Then you don't have to.

Nicholas, did you know Chinch got two gold stars from her music teacher?

No. Did you, Chinch?

- Chinch got two gold stars from her teacher. - I heard the news.

I know what! Let's have Chinch play for us after dinner.

- I can play by heart without the paper. - Isn't that wonderful?

- I had a pretty good ear when I was a kid. - You could never carry a tune.

- Don't believe her. - Still can't.

- I like my husband's voice. - Don't care much about music, huh?

I made a mistake.

Pick up where you left off, if you don't mind.

My teacher said I shouldn't do that.

Go right back, darling.

Under a spreading chestnut tree The village smithy stands

- The smith, a mighty man is he - Good boy!

With large and sinewy hands And the muscles of his brawny arms

Are strong as iron bands

"I don't wanna recite."

His face is like the tan His brow is wet with honest sweat...

- My head's splitting. I'm going to bed. - All right.

- Week in, week out, from morn... - Good night.

You can hear him swing his...

- Coming, Nick? - In just a little while.

...village bell when the evening sun is low And the children...

Good night.

They love to see the flaming forge And hear the bellows roar

- Thought you weren't gonna recite. - I didn't do the Gettysburg Address.

- Let's go back and do it. - Not a chance.

- Night, Daddy. - Good night, Chinch. God bless.

- Just when the party's getting good. - Night.

- I cut that stuff out a year ago. - Oh, sorry. Good night.

- Good night. Good night. - Good night, fella.

Well, I all thought your all performance was mighty good this evening, sister Ellen.

I thought you'd like that.

- Good night! - Good night.

Night!

You've done a good job, Nick. They're nice kids.

- Yeah? - They're really wonderful.

- Oh, I'm glad you think so. - Timmy's just like you.

- Oh, sure. Well, he's a bright boy. - Obstinate, jealous...

Nick, I'm waiting.

In a minute.

- What were you saying? - I was saying, Timmy's just like you...

...obstinate, jealous, but adorable.

- I feel sorry for the woman who marries him. - Why?

Because he's a heartbreaker, like you.

Go on, I'm one of the most faithful husbands that ever lived.

With a wife in every room.

Nick, I'm waiting!

- Are you gonna tell her? - Sure.

- Well, when? - Right now.

Of course, it's gonna take tact and delicacy.

She's waiting.

Well, all right, here I go.

Oh, you Casanova, you.

And then we drove all night. All night!

And when we got home, he didn't even tell the children.

Oh, Mother, he just ignores me!

What?

I don't care what Father did! I've never been so humiliated.

I'm not going to stand it another minute. I'm going to leave him!

Well, I don't care what you say! I'm going to leave him!

Mother, I'll call you back.

How is your mother?

Your mother's quite nice once you get to know her.

Do you love me?

Why, Bianca, you're one of the most attractive girls I know.

I'm your wife!

When I think of how I shopped all afternoon until I was exhausted...

...hunting a surprise for you, and you won't even put it on!

Oh, no, Bianca, please. I'll put it on.

Now, stop. Bianca, I'll put it on right now.

I'll put it on, Bianca. No, please, stop crying.

Look, Bianca.

Look, Bianca, I'm putting it on. Please, stop crying, Bianca.

Look. There. There now, I've put it on. See?

Playing up to that Southern snip just as if I weren't there.

In the name of heaven, tell me, what's wrong with me?

Oh, Bianca, there's nothing wrong with you.

Believe me, under other circumstances...

Well, who knows?

Oh, no. No, Bianca, please, stop crying.

Now, please, let me explain.

Now, let me start from the beginning.

Now, once there was a man who met a girl.

He'd been living alone for quite some time.

Well, he told the girl he loved her, and naturally, he married said girl.

- Now in... - What are you trying to say?

Just this.

Bianca...

- Doorbell! That's for me. I'll be right back. - Well...

I'll be right back.

- Mr. Arden? - Yes?

I'm Johnson of American Life and Accident lnsurance.

- Come right in, Mr. Johnson. - Oh, thank you.

- I'm sorry to be intruding at this hour. - Not at all. Not at all.

I don't suppose you remember me, but I met you at the Kiwanis get-together.

- Oh, really? - The big one. Fourth of July last.

- I made a speech that day. - How nice.

- I'm sorry to drag you out of your bed. - Not at all. Glad you came.

Oh, delightful.

- This will only take a minute. - Sit down. Stay a while.

Well, thank you.

What can I do for you?

Mr. Arden, have you received any communication from your first wife...

...Ellen Wagstaff Arden?

No. Just as I expected.

You see, our district manager, Mr. Pusey, is one of those fussbudgety types...

...who likes to check everything. It's customary to check...

...when the company's paid out a large sum of money, but this is ridiculous.

- What are you driving at? - He claims to have a report...

...a rumor, really, that a woman of your first wife's description...

- ...was rescued by a Portuguese freighter. - Is that so?

As was also a man named Stephen Burkett...

...who was reported drowned at the same time.

- Would you mind saying that again? - Please, don't be angry with me.

- If you knew Pusey... - This Stephen Burkett...

...he was rescued at the same time as my wife?

Well, according to this unverified rumor.

Then they were on that island for seven years together?

Seven years.

Ridiculous, isn't it?

- What else did your Mr. Pusey hear? - Well, not very much, really.

It seems he talked to somebody who had talked to a Portuguese captain.

Listen to this. He says, "The woman called the man Adam."

- Adam? - Adam.

A far cry from Stephen. Oh, it's all absurd.

What did he call her?

"Eve."

Adam and Eve.

Adam and Eve. A delightful fancy.

- Yeah. Delightful. - Yes.

You ought to be grateful it is only a fancy, because, aside from the money...

...can you imagine the pickle you'd be in if it weren't?

Well, then, that does it.

Come in.

Oh, Nick.

- How can you sleep at a time like this? - I wasn't.

- No, dreaming about Adam, I suppose. - Adam?

Yes, Adam! Adam! Adam and Eve!

Why didn't you tell me you weren't alone and that Burkett was with you?

Why do you dissemble and deceive? I've just met with the insurance...

- What are you laughing at? - You, darling. That robe.

Never mind that, how am I gonna look?

My wife and this man alone on an island for seven years.

- We didn't arrange it. It just happened. - Yeah, I'll bet it did!

- Please, get that look out of your eye. - Why didn't you tell me about him?

- I knew you'd carry on like you are now. - That's no excuse!

- I wanted to pick the right time to tell you. - There never will be a right time.

Seven years on an island. You mean to tell me he didn't molest you in any way?

How could he? The poor fellow broke his leg trying to drag our boat through the surf.

He was laid up for six months.

That still leaves six and a half years.

It just occurs to me that I ought to feel insulted.

I go through seven years of agony.

I come home to find my husband in the arms of another woman, married!

My children don't know me. And all my husband can think of...

...is did I carry on with some poor man who wouldn't hurt a fly!

- Now, just a moment! - You, just a moment! Did you tell her?

- Did you? - Well...

No! You got into costume.

- I was about to... - How long does it take to tell a woman:

"My wife's come back"? I can say it in two seconds.

You've had two days.

Oh, Nick...