All language subtitles for I Rymden Finns Inga Kanslor

Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org

SIMPLE SIMON

I'm in orbit around Earth.

I'm here to gain perspective.

I like space.
There are no problems in space.

No misunderstandings. No chaos.

Because in space,
there are no feelings.

Simon!!!

For the last time, get out of there.
I'm not telling you again.

Simon, for the very last time,
get out of there!

Simon!!!

Simon, if I offer you 50 kronor,
what do you say?

Sam, you've got to come over.
He's in the barrel.

He's been there for eight hours now.

Hey...

- But I explained it all to him.
- Go ahead and go.

- Go, it's fine.
- You sure?

Okay, I'm on my way. Yeah, bye.

- You're too nice...
- And you're too hot.

What the hell?
You're in for it, mister!

Totally retarded.

2, 150 - that's my final offer.

I can't kill Mom and Dad!

- I knew this would happen!
- What are you going to do now?

You've got to be kidding...

I was talking to my brother,
he's in the barrel.

He's from sp... He thinks...
He's got a space ship.

Simon, you can come out now.

- It's okay, Simon.
- She's got to go!

- You want to live here with us.
- No, she's got to go, Sam.

You, me, and Frida are going
to live together. Calm down.

- This will never work.
- Sure it will.

- I'll do everything wrong.
- No. Hey...

He just needs to get used to it.

- Get used to me getting it wrong?
- No. That you're... you.

And you get it wrong sometimes...

What are we going to do?

Simon?

If you...
If we're all going to live together,

then it's us against the world.
I need Frida.

She helps me, just like I help you.
So you need to help her.

Nothing will work without her.

It's like one of your equations.

Remove one of us and there will
be an imbalance. Understand?

Einstein?

Some people think
I'm an idiot, but I'm not.

I just want things
to remain the same.

I don't like change,
but I do like Sam.

So I've got to make
this equation come out right.

Sam needs Frida like I need Sam.

Good, let's go shoot some hoops.

Last one down is a square.

To help this equation come out right,
I've scheduled our activities.

It's designed to make
our lives as simple as possible.

Fucking jerk!!

Without the right time,
weight and angle,

we may be thrown off balance.

Don't touch me
I'm Asperger's

I prefer circles to humans.
Circles are continuous,

while humans are complex
and hard to understand.

HAPPY - SAD - ANGRY

TIRED - SURPRISED - NEUTRAL

Ready for breakfast?

See you later...

Sam helps me arrive on time.

Time affects harmony.

If you're not on time,
you risk chaos.

I'm sorry, are you all right?

- What do you think you're doing?
- Slapping your face.

- Yeah... But what for?
- I have Asperger's.

- And that makes it okay to hit people?
- You grabbed my arm.

I don't like being touched.

- Let me...
- I'm late.

On time, as usual.

I work seven hours a day, five days
a week, thirteen lunar cycles a year.

To some people, 13 means bad luck,
but not to me.

It's a prime number,
only divisible by itself. Like me.

Attention!
As a team, we have to stick together.

Otherwise the whole thingamabob
will just be a big ole mess.

I don't have friends.
Feelings just create problems.

Take Peter, for instance: Peter likes
Jonna and tries hard to impress her.

- ...fall behind...
- Jonna doesn't like Peter, though.

Girls only like guys who don't
like them.

So Jonna's in love with Björn.
"Retard laugh" Björn.

But all he likes is to laugh...

This is a classic "love triangle"
and it leads to chaos.

I don't like triangles.

We're like brothers.

Like brothers and sis...
We're like siblings.

Siblings who love each other
and love to work together.

And so we just do it.

You bastard!

Thank you and goodbye.

I'm home!

How long do I have?

Ten minutes and five seconds, four
seconds, three seconds, two seconds...

- ...one second. Ten minutes.
- Perfect.

I have different foods
for different days.

Monday: Sausage and pasta.
Tuesday: Pancakes.

Wednesday: Melts.
Thursday: Potato pancakes.

Friday: Tacos. Saturday: Pizza.
Sunday: Sam's zucchini special.

Sam cooks, I set and clear the table,
and Frida does the dishes.

It's a great setup that gives me
time to practice after dinner.

Hi...

Listen, I think I have an STD.

- I'm not in the mood...
- Only it's on my face.

You're so not funny!

Nice.

Hey, why don't we
play some basketball?

- Before he comes back.
- I have to do the dishes.

I'll do it later. I promise. Come on...

We'll have ten minutes before he
returns. Maybe you can catch my STD.

Come on.

Foul, foul! - Sam, foul.

You just want to shoot penalties.

There's no touching in basketball.

You put the ball through the hoop.
It's easy,

since the hoop's circumference
is 96.5% larger than the ball's.

All you have to do is calculate
the velocity, mass and angle.

- Do-over!
- One more time.

I'll go do the dishes.

- Another do-over, Sam.
- One more time.

Movie night!

This one again?!
It's four hours long.

Two hours, 22 minutes,
and 3 7 seconds.

- Can't we watch something on TV?
- No.

- There's a Hugh Grant romcom on.
- Yes...

No. I n that case
you'll have to watch in your room.

Sure... - Come on.

- I'd rather watch the space movie.
- I know.

What the hell...?

We're out of toilet paper...

Get out of here!

- Christ! You're not listening.
- We'll get through this.

No, you're just kidding yourself.
This isn't going to work.

- What do you want me to do?
- I can't take this crap.

I can't kick my own brother out!

Isn't that convenient?

Frida... Where are you going?

Why can't you just shut up?!

Stop playing, you fucking psycho!

Don't touch him!

- Don't go! Please?
- Fuck off!

- Leave me alone.
- I want to be with you.

- No, you want to be with your brother.
- He needs me, just like I need you.

Please don't go.

She left, but at least now
it'll be nice and quiet.

Simon?

It's not your fault.
She didn't mean what she said.

She'll come back, she always does.

Don't be sad. Okay?

It's important
to maintain the correct orbit.

If you go too fast,
you'll be hurled out in space.

Too slow, and you spiral
downwards... and crash.

If you cannot maintain orbit,
you end up with chaos.

So I have to maintain orbit.

Shit...

Wake up, we're late.

Sam, it's my turn to shower!

I'm three minutes and seventeen
seconds late. 18, 19, 20, 21...

...22, 23, 24.

Where is Frida?
You said that she'd be back.

- Then I guess she will.
- Do you promise, Sam?

Absolutely. Now hurry up, we're late.

- I'll be late.
- Get off, it won't start.

- Are you angry?
- No!

People can't be trusted. They say
one thing and mean another.

This won't hurt a bit.

I'm Sweden's best dart player.

- Are you angry?
- No!

I can get angry too,
when I can't keep to schedule.

Because I don't like change.

What's going on, Simon?

- Is the world coming to an end?
- Yes.

I n about five billions years, the earth
will be swallowed up by the sun.

"One time is no time",
as the saying goes.

No, one time is one time.

Well, you'll have to start
with No. 42 in the meantime.

Go on, time is money.

Time isn't money.
Time is time. Money is money.

I don't like people saying
things are what they're not.

Sam is the only person I trust.
He means what he says.

If he says Frida will come back,
she will.

Hello?

Hi!

Hi, how are you?

Yeah...

You're moving out?

I'm home.

Sam?

Sam?

- Dinner was 20 minutes ago, Sam.
- I haven't had time to make any.

- Tacos, today is tacos.
- Know what? Let's have pizza.

- No, it's not pizza day.
- It'll be fine.

- Where is Frida?
- She's not coming back.

- She always comes back.
- No. She's moved out.

- You said that she would.
- I guess I was wrong.

- I'd like to order two pizzas...
- Sam... Sam!

Who's doing the dishes?

I set the table, you cook,
she does the dishes.

She's gone, you blockhead!

- No, I didn't mean you.
- Who's going to do the dishes, Sam?

We're having pizza. No one
needs to do any damn dishes!

I don't want pizza!

She's not coming back.

Sure she is,
she has to do the dishes!

She's not going to do the dishes
anymore. She won't rent movies,

play basketball, or do this or that...

She won't be doing
anything anymore. Get it?

Besides, she isn't right for us anyway.

She's too pedantic. She eats those
disgusting fish paste sandwiches.

She doesn't make any noise
when we have sex.

She's selfish and she doesn't get me.
But she wears that butt-ugly hat.

That ugly, fucking Frida hat!

Simon?

- Hi, it's me, Simon.
- What are you doing here?

- I don't want pizza on a Friday.
- Sorry, I can't help you.

- You have to come back.
- No, I don't. Goodbye, Simon.

Hi, it's me. All you have to do is
change and everything will be fine.

You're pedantic, you don't
make noise when you have sex...

- Who do you think you are?
- I'm Simon.

It's your fault it's not fine!
You have to change.

- Hi...
- I'll call the police!

- I can't change, but you can.
- I don't want to!

Find some other damn girl
who can stand living with you!

Some other damn girl?

You may be a wiz at physics,
but you suck at playing the drums.

- Just so you know.
- I do know.

That's why I need to practice!

I'm home.

- Where have you been?
- We have to find some other damn girl.

What are you talking about?

If Frida won't come back, I'll have
to find some other damn girl.

A girl who doesn't fight,
a girl who is just like Sam.

No one knows Sam better than me,
and I can look at it scientifically.

Sam: Cooks - Girl: Does dishes

Hi...

Hello...

- Hey...
- You're three minutes late.

- Do I look like a bus driver to you?
- Yes.

You drive a bus
and wear a bus driver's uniform.

It may look like that,
but that's not really what I am.

Eight years of cooking school.
Chef at the city's best restaurant.

For what? People want fast food.
Instant this or that...

Everything in an instant.
You can't hurry an excellent sauce.

It's like my old saucier,
Gaston, used to say...

Or something. I don't speak French.

A great sauce takes time, just like love.

Hi, Mom. - Hi, Dad.

- Bye, Mom. - Bye, Dad.
- Simon?

- What are you doing with that camera?
- Finding Sam a new girlfriend.

- What's wrong with Frida?
- They broke up.

- Why did they break up?
- She won't change.

So I have to find some other damn girl
who can stand living with me.

What a shame.

Finish with a pinch of nutmeg.
Dip the tip of a knife in, that's all.

Une petite la knife... whatever.

Bitterness has its place in every
sauce, just like in life itself.

- You can't do anything about it.
- I'm home.

It'll never work, Mom.
Moving back home would kill him.

I've got to go,
I'm doing the laundry.

Right, busy bees. Bye.

We do our laundry
6:30 - 9 pm on Fridays.

- Yeah, I lied.
- Oh.

- Who the hell watches "Lassie"?
- You're watching "Lassie".

Don't you like dogs?

- Don't you like dogs?
- No.

Facts about Sam: Sam is 23
and does not generate chaos.

Sam likes Simon, cooking,
and black licorice.

Sam dislikes dogs, mustard and math.

- What deduction?
- Done!

To find a new girl for Sam, I need
13 questions that reveal who Sam is.

Then I have to find a new girl
who fits in with his responses.

I'm going to find
the perfect girl for Sam.

- Sorry. Oh, It's you again.
- I always pass this spot at 8:55 am.

- Gee, I thought it was destiny.
- There is no such thing.

- It's only make-believe.
- It's good to blame stuff on.

It's all mathematics and determinism.
Can I ask you some questions?

- Sure, what?
- Romantic comedies or sci-fi?

I don't watch that many movies.

- Dogs or cats?
- Dogs... and cats.

- Do you make noise during sex?
- What?!

- Do you make noise during sex?
- Do you?

No, I don't have sex!

Oh, sorry. - Hello? Hi...

Out and about...

I see... Oh well.

No, it's cool.

Okay, great. Bye.

Are you sad? Your mouth went from
a happy mouth to a sad mouth.

- Have any more questions?
- No, you gave me the wrong answers.

I didn't know there were
any wrong answers there.

- Do you make noise during sex?
- Sometimes.

- Yes.
- I don't know.

Can you do dishes, yes or no?

- Train or bus?
- Train.

Ketchup or mustard?

- Ketchup or mustard?
- Which do you want?

- Ketchup or mustard?
- Which do you want?

Jeez, take both!
We're waiting in line here!

- Do you like Simon?
- Who's Simon?

- Yes.
- Don't know...

- Sports: yes or no?
- No.

Licorice or fruit-flavored candy?
Dogs or cats?

- It's not a dog, it's a Great Dane.
- Wrong.

Finding the perfect girl
isn't as easy as you might think.

They always get one wrong.

- Licorice or fruit-flavored candy?
- Fruit.

I hate the way licorice
gets stuck in my teeth.

Equations need careful consideration.

And love, like a good sauce,
takes time.

Hi, Simon.
I brought you some breakfast.

Can't you come and live with us?
So that Sam gets some peace.

- Just until everything's worked out.
- I'm going to work things out for Sam.

Simon? Don't you want me
to help you with breakfast?

And we could talk about this.

Hello? Are you there?

- Can you do dishes? Yes or no.
- No.

Can you see yourself dating someone
who is scientifically perfect for you?

- Yes or no?
- Yes.

Romantic comedies or sci-fi?

If it doesn't contain violence
or blood, I'm not interested.

When bodily fluids flow
or limbs are torn off, I feel...

- Romantic comedies or sci-fi?
- Sci-fi. But I prefer action.

- Dogs or cats?
- I don't like dogs. Cats!

Don't yell.

- Do you like Simon?
- No.

I think you're an idiot.

- Could I ask you 13 questions?
- Okay...

- Can you do dishes? Yes or no.
- Yes.

Good. Would you date someone
who is scientifically perfect for you?

Absolutely. Yes.

Great, let me just take your picture.

Look as attractive as possible.

No, attractive!

More attractive!

Perfect. You can go now, if you want.

Bye.

- What's this?
- Possible girlfriends.

- What am I supposed to do with this?
- Find a girlfriend.

- Number 13 is perfect for you.
- That's not how it works.

The ones at the back
got the most right.

Number 13 is exactly like you:
"Sci-fi or Romcom?" Sci-Fi.

- "Cats or dogs?" Cats...
- There are no right answers.

It's about feelings.

I'm more likely to fall in love with
someone who's the complete opposite.

It would suck to be with someone who
is exactly like me. Don't you think?

No...

I don't understand.

Come on.

Come on.

Look...

Just like the same poles
of a magnet repel each other,

people who are too similar
can also repel each other.

And just like the opposite poles
of a magnet attract each other...

... people who are different
can be drawn to each other.

Like us. We're different,
but we like each other.

Stop it with the equations.
Whatever happens, happens...

What the hell are you doing?
Watch out.

- Oh, look who's here...
- Yes, and it's all your fault.

- Why?
- I was supposed to run into you.

So we could talk.
But you weren't on time.

We don't have to run into each other
to talk, do we?

You have to meet my brother.
Do you want to?

- You're each other's opposites.
- We are?

He's not like me,
he doesn't have Asperger's.

He's 93 7 times better than I am.
Want to meet him?

- I don't know if I want to.
- What?

It feels kind of weird,
I don't even know you.

If you two fall in love you'll get to
know me. You'll see me all the time.

Yeah. But the thing is...

We've only run into each other
a few times.

- I don't even know your name.
- I'm Simon.

- Now you know my name.
- Hello, Simon.

- I'm Jennifer.
- I don't like touching people.

I forgot, sorry.

Hi there... I completely forgot.

What are you looking at?

- You look really tired.
- I know, I was out all night.

Was there anything else? I have to go.

- So do you want to meet my brother?
- This is going too fast...

- Do you want to?
- I can't decide just like that.

- I need to know now.
- I'm still drunk, don't pressure me.

- I have to think about it.
- But I need to know now.

I feel that our discipline
isn't up to par.

People are tardy, there's a lot
of hullabaloo and high jinks.

I don't want any more
rule breaking and... who are you?

Hello. Well, I'm here to have a look.

- Oh, you're Simon's guardian?
- That's right.

The rest of us will
continue with our regular duties...

Just like any other day.

You do this every day?
Don't you get bored?

Not every day. Monday through Friday,
9 am to 5 pm, lunch 12 to 1.

Right, isn't it lunch time soon?
I'm starving.

Lunch time is in 22 minutes
and 13 seconds. 12, 11...

- ... 10, 9...
- Give me that watch.

- Hand it over!
- Why?

Give it to me!

Thanks.

- What are you doing?
- Time sure flies, it's lunch time.

That's impossible, you're lying.

Come on, Simon, let's get some lunch.

VA squared equals G0,
times R0 squared divided by RA

times 2RP divided by RA plus RP

where G0 is equal to the surface
gravitational acceleration...

- What's that about?
- Space and time.

Don't be so hung up on time or
nothing unexpected will ever happen.

I don't like unexpected things.

You're going to like this.

- Is it drums? Space sounds?
- No, just listen.

- Is it emotional? I don't like that.
- Just take the earpiece.

I always sync everything I see
so that it's in time to the music.

- Like a music video in my head.
- I don't understand.

You know that feeling
that the world revolves around you.

It's almost as if the world
adapts itself to your music.

- Simple.
- I don't know that feeling.

- Listen to this.
- I can't hear anything.

- I can hear it now.
- Okay.

Isn't that adorable?

- What are you doing?
- You touched me!

Sorry, I forgot.

- I have to go back to work now.
- No you don't.

I have the watch,
and I say it's still lunch time.

- All right, but don't touch me!
- Okay, I promise I won't.

Simon?

- Don't touch me!
- Sorry, I forgot.

Come on...

- Don't touch me!
- Watch it!

Don't touch me!

Simon?! What are you doing?

- You always wear the same clothes.
- This shirt is comfortable.

- And it's red and blue.
- I think I like all colors.

- I don't like brown.
- No, a manhole!

- You touched me again.
- Manhole covers bring bad luck!

- It's round, I like round.
- But it's brown.

Do you like round things
even if they're brown?

Wrap your head around that!

I like that it's round,
but not that it's brown.

Please come in, this is my place.

Make yourself at home.

Beep-beep...

- Why is it so messy?
- It's not, I just have a lot of stuff.

- Why are your records so old?
- You should talk, Mr. Polaroid.

Scoot... My fish. And the flowers.

- Why do you have two television sets?
- If that one breaks, I've got this.

- Why do you have bagpipes?
- Why do you ask so many questions?

So that I can get to know you.

To see if your brother
and I are compatible?

No, to make sure you aren't,
so you can be together.

Like magnets. Opposites attract.

I've never met anyone like you.

- A good sauce is what's important.
- What goes in the sauce?

Go for a red wine sauce,
that always works.

Sam. What do you mean, "missing"?

Well, he's been late all week.
And today, third day in a row...

He brought some girl along
and now he's just up and disappeared.

- What girl?
- His guardian.

- I'm his guardian.
- How am I supposed to remember that?

I thought it was
one of your girlfriends.

- I had the same girl for five years.
- Is this about your girlfriend?

- I don't have one, we broke up.
- What a shame.

- Where is Simon?
- That's the thing.

- I don't know. He's gone.
- Idiot ...

Idiot ...

Right...

Hello... Excuse me?

- Hi, have you seen Simon?
- No.

Was he here this morn... Hey?

Could you turn that thing off?!
Stop blowing!

Get it out of here!

Was he... Hello?

You have to stop!

- Get off!
- Lie still.

Get off!

He's cross-eyed,
never smiles, wears red and blue...

- ...walks all stiff. Name's Simon.
- I'll find him.

- Should I file a report?
- Nah, I'll remember...

- Sorry I left you alone. Is it okay?
- Yes, I like being alone.

Do you? Me too.
But only when I choose to be alone.

I generally choose
to be with someone, though.

- I don't need to be alone, I have Sam.
- Right.

- Nice, huh? Just like you.
- No, not just like me.

Your colors.

Yes, red and blue.

And here are some melts.

- You have to make them round.
- You've said so a thousand times.

No, five times. Who is it?

Right, it's "mini-Saturday".

No, it's Wednesday.
Today is Wednesday, Jennifer!

- Hi!
- Hi, honey.

How are you?

So here you are.

I'd kind of forgotten...

This is Simon. He can't touch anyone!

- Hi, I'm Clara.
- What's with the Nazi salute?

I'm Simon and I'm Asperger's.

That's why people can't touch me.

- Is he your boyfriend?
- No, absolutely not.

- What did you bring?
- Tequila!

Pictionary!

Come on, Simon.

Let's play.
Ever play Tequila Pictionary?

It's really easy...

- Do you want one?
- I told you, they have to be round.

- The crusts are the best part.
- There are glasses under there.

Right there, grab them.

- All right if I help myself?
- Sure. - Melt, Simon?

An ice cream!

Grass.

A palm tree. I was first.

I was first.

Hi, Mom. Just wondered
if Simon was there.

No, don't worry,
he'll find his way home.

I am calm. Yes, I'm calm.

Bye.

- A ball.
- The moon, the sun...

A pizza?

Venus, Jupiter.

A rock, with two... balls!

These are also supposed
to be completely round.

- Time's up.
- What is it?

It's water, can't you tell?

Oxygen and two hydrogen atoms.

You are seriously disturbed!

- That's not water.
- You could draw an island, waves...

- It doesn't have to be so advanced.
- Penalty shot.

Penalty, penalty...

What did he do?

Why are you sitting out here?
Are you sad?

- What makes you think that?
- You look sad.

Sometimes people look sad
even though they're happy.

Once, when Sam was picked
Most Valuable Player, my mom cried.

But she was happy.

But she still cried.

- Right.
- You're not sad anymore?

- It's not that simple, Simon.
- It is. Either you're sad or happy.

No.

I'm sad about someone who used to
make me so happy, who's an idiot.

You have to replace him with
a new quantity, like in an equation.

Are you happy?

I'm happy I'm out here with you.

- I don't understand.
- I like you.

Not that. How can you go
from happy to sad like that?

Imagine that you have
a circle, like this. Round.

And up here, at the top,
is the saddest you can get.

Then you're less sad.
You're almost okay. You're fine.

You're happy, psyched,
almost in a state of euphoria,

and then just insanely happy
when you reach the top.

On the other side of sad.
It's like it couldn't get any better.

But it's so easy to tip
over the edge and go sad.

- I understand.
- You do?

Yes. Someone you liked
stopped liking you,

and that made you
tip over to the other side.

Tip over from happy to sad.

You explain things so I understand.
Only you and Sam do that.

- Good, maybe we're not all different.
- You are. He's order, you're chaos.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Just so you know,
I can only fall for good-looking guys.

Hold on.

- Here.
- Who's that?

My brother Sam.
Is he good-looking or not?

- Possibly...
- You think so?

Because if you do,
you can meet him.

Let's ask Lisa and Clara.

Let's ask Lisa and Clara.

Hello...

- How are you?
- Fine.

- What are you doing here?
- Simon has disappeared.

- I see.
- Have you heard anything?

No, sorry.

- Sorry, but...
- What do you want?

It might have something to do with you.

- That's not my problem, right?
- Yes... or no. I don't know.

I don't know what to do about you,
or about us...

There is no "us" anymore.

Easy for you to say. You were just
looking for a reason to break it off

so you could meet new guys.

You're the one in a relationship
with your brother.

Come back when you've got
something better to offer.

The shirt is kind of...
But that can be changed.

Are you in love with him now?

You can't fall in love with a picture.

- Yes you can.
- No, It doesn't work like that.

You have to click, like in the movies.

I don't watch romantic movies.
Do you want to meet him?

What's this?
"I'm Sam, Simon's big brother."

"If you're reading this, he's probably
lost or gotten into trouble."

"It's not his fault,
he has Asperger's."

"Call me and I'll come pick him up
and fix whatever he broke."

- How sweet!
- Do you want to meet him now?

- No...
- You want to.

- Yes...
- You said yes.

- I don't know. Where are you going?
- Home to Sam.

- What about me?
- You're going on a date.

- Simon!
- He's cute... really sweet.

I'm home.

- Where were you? I was worried.
- I've been with Jennifer.

- Who?
- Your new girlfriend.

Sam? She's your total opposite.

She explains things so I understand.

- Apart from that, you're opposites.
- I don't want to meet her.

You need someone who does
the dishes and who likes me.

- She likes me, so she'll love you.
- I want to be alone.

You didn't call all day!
Don't you realize how worried I was?

- She wants to go on a date with you.
- I don't want to see anyone.

- Is that so hard to understand?
- Where are you going?

- To Mom and Dad's.
- Why?

- Because.
- Are you angry, Sam?

- You sound like you're Asperger's.
- Butt out of this!

You can't even take care of yourself!
Can't you see how upset I am?

No, you can't because you're
the one with Asperger's, you idiot!

You're yelling, Sam. Sam!

- Don't touch me!
- Sam? Sam...

Sam! Sam! Sam!

I'm an idiot!

It was so obvious...
They're opposites!

So if Jennifer wants to go on a date,
then Sam won't want to.

I have to complete my mission.

If you get the magnets close enough,
science will take care of the rest.

One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven.

I want every single movie there is
about two people falling in love.

- All of Hugh Grant's movies.
- All of them...?

Great, I've got an incoming call.

Hi, chef.
I'm in need of some catering.

Team, we have to stick together.
I chose you because I believe in you.

That, and you're the only people
I know. Will you tempt fate?

Will you help me?

Synchronize!

Good... Just like in a Romcom.

- Not until 10 pm on the dot.
- I have to practice.

Just one.

- What do you want it for?
- An equation.

- Sam.
- It's Thursday, so I figured...

No more movie nights.
I'm playing basketball today.

Sam?

What? Help! Help!

Could you please get me out of this?

Get me out.

- For me?
- Hello?

- Is that you, Sam?
- Who the hell are you?

This is fun!

Why are you in a sack?

Simon, you bastard!
I'm going to kill you!

He said I was going on a date.

Date? What date?

- Maybe we can call him?
- He doesn't have a phone.

- You're late!
- Yeah yeah, love takes time.

- No, hurry up.
- Yeah...

- I don't think he's coming.
- Go ahead, I'll wait.

What the hell...?

- What was that?
- Jennifer? Flowers from Sam.

Thanks, they're beautiful.

"You had me at hello. Love, Sam."

We're all set up on the hill.
S'il vous plaît!

- It's lovely...
- Come with me to the hill.

Une petite... finger food.

S'il vous plaît!

This is great.

I love kiwis.

Cheers.

- Okay, what do you want?
- What?

I get it, you were
in on this from the start.

- What do you want from us?
- I'm here for Simon's sake.

I like him, he's great.
He said if I liked him, I'd love you.

There are no similarities,
and no one really likes Simon.

- How can you say that?
- Of course I like him.

- But he only cares about himself.
- That's so not true.

He wants us to like each other
and said I'm a thousand times better.

- 93 7.
- What?

- He thinks you're 93 7 times better.
- Who cares?

- I care!
- He's doing this for himself.

Just look at what he's done.

He's arranged for a ton of food.

There are lights, wine, roses...
It's the ultimate romantic movie.

Don't you realize what you mean to him?

He even got us live music.

- Shit, how can you not see it?
- Yeah, but...

- I don't know, I ...
- What don't you know?

- I'm used to him.
- So he does this all the time?

No, but I ...

If you could have anything you wanted,
what would you wish for?

- A pet, maybe?
- A pet?

Something unusual, maybe a monkey.

So if I could have anything
I'd wish for a monkey?

Cheers.

Sometimes bad gives way to good.
That's a kind of balance, as well...

Maybe you need a special kind of
intelligence to comprehend this?

Maybe you need Asperger's.

Maybe there are feelings in space...

That was a great surprise.

It's not over yet. Where is Jennifer?
Are you together now?

- No, but we may be friends.
- What?

- But you have to get together.
- We're not getting together.

- Calm down.
- Yes, yes, yes...

You have to get together, Sam.
You do.

- She's gone home...
- You scared her off! - Jennifer!

- Jennifer?!
- Calm down.

Calm down!

Simon!

Simon!!

Things change, Simon, and it's not
necessarily someone's fault.

Everything changes.

Not me.

You don't have to do
all those things for me.

I had it all figured out.
You're supposed to be together now.

Why do you want us to be together?

- I don't want her to go away.
- That doesn't mean she'll go away.

Sure it does. If she doesn't like you,
she won't like me.

I'm 93 7 times worse than you...
And now she's gone.

I'm not the one who's gone, you are.

- I'm not gone, I'm right here.
- So am I .

Hi there.

I'm not going anywhere.

I like you.

Hey, come on out...

- Why?
- Because.

- Why?
- Because.

- What are you doing?
- What?

Can I give you a hug now or what?

- Why?
- Because I want to.

For the lovely dinner.

For the lovely evening, you and me
and everything. May I?

- I don't want anyone touching me.
- Can't you tell? We already are.

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