Original subtitles

Hey! Psst! Victor!

Did you see anything? Did you see Freddy?

- Yup, and he's right outside. Run Jacob.

Stop fooling around!

Relax will you. There is Mr Svensson.

Him, we're not going to mess with him again.

Calm down. He's on holidays too, right?

No. we better not.

Hup! Hup! Hup!.

Hold it. Never mind. Just forget it.

Ok, we're going, Sausage.

Let's go.

Here. In you go, Sausage.

- Come on, Jacob. - Yeah, yeah. I'm coming.

Did you remember the compass?

Oh, do we need that. I didn't bring it.

We're taking the apple route, right?

Let me check that. Hey wait up, Victor!

Come on!

Can you see anyone?

All clear.

Blow!

- Fire! - Bull's-Eye!

That's a good boy.

- Jump Sausage. - The perfect heist.

You're right!

- All right, Pige. Listen up now. - Right.

We'll start with a pincer movement to the right, followed by and then ...

Okay.

Right, okay.

Alright, Sausage. Go!

I'm coming!

Oh my my. What a cute little doggie that just rang my door-bell.

All set.

Hi, Mrs. Olsen. Lovely day for a pig party, don't you think?

For what?

Stop you pigs. Let me wash your feet.

- Look at that! - Cool.

But she wasn't meant to see us. That wasn't the plan.

Right! Time to stuff apple cores in Dispenser's letter box?

Wait a sec. Why don't we think of a new plan first?

In red ink and all that.

Ah, so cool.

Well well. If it isn't the tiniest runt of all runt.

And you're smiling!

- Hi Freddy. - Glad you remember, Victor.

I never forget people who look like pig snot.

Famous last words.

Do you want to knock a lollipop? You ass-bob.

- Doesn't it take one to know one! - Don't point him up, Victor.

- Huh, you want to take some? - No, thank you.

Oh boy! This one smells like a graveyard.

And this one, has been in the doghouse and needs to get out.

Know what?

You've got the beats in the bank, carries ready to be gasted!

Get set!

- I'll beat you to it. - In your dreams.

Hey! No running kids.

Stop it, dear. You're off duty.

- Good morning, Mrs Jewelebib. - Huh. Good morning!

Cheer up, Sausage.

You couldn't have done anything. He is three times bigger than you.

And a hundred times dumber.

I mean, not that you're dumb or that ...

Hi, Victor. How are things?

Is that tuft of grass a gift from Freddy?

What?

No, I just meant that I ....

I am so sick of being beat up. Summer break's just started ...

Victor!

I don't wish to be in school.

- Victor! - What?

This is my cousin Clara. She is gonna stay with me all summer.

And this is Victor. He just got beat up again.

Again?

Right, Vic?

No, no, no. I ... not really ...beat up.

It wasn't a real beatings. More like a ...

Who beat you up again?

Freddy. This big ... No.

The biggest, dumbest, ugliest, and most smelliest bully in town.

And what did you do to deserve that?

I don't know.

That's all he knows how to do to pick every bone at.

Yeah, or maybe it's because Victor likes to act up

and gets us into all kinds of trouble.

What?

No, I don't.

I don't know what you're talking about.

The hedgehogs in gym, the snails in the principals letter box,

the rubber spiders in the girls' loo.

No that wasn't ... I, okay.

- So, what's your dog called? - He is Sausage.

And by the way. Freddy's never beaten me up.

Well, congratulations!

And you don't think it might be because

you always take off like chicken poop, do you?

Chicken poop!

Ah, hey, you guys.

Chicken poop am I?

Chicken poop!

That's what I said.

- I'm sure he didn't mean it. - Then why he .....

I know but it's just ...

What is it that you got, Sausage?

Hey, what's he doing here?

Do you know the river is that way, little frog?

- Err, do you need that bag? - No. Here.

- Come on, Clara. Let's get home. - Ah, okay.

See ya.

Yes, see ya.

- Cool dog, Victor. - Sure, bye Clara.

- Bye. - Have fun with Grumpy.

- I heard that. - What. Aw come on, he started it.

Yeah, okay.

My dear ladies and gentlemen. It's a very big honour for you ...

Now the gigantic, fantastic and incredible Circus Bardini

has come to town.

It only forty years since I went to the last circus,

and I didn't like it then either.

And this show, ladies and gentlemen is going to be a very special circus show.

You see, it's the carnival king Don Kraus' very last show. It will be spectacular.

Tomorrow night circus party

and he is inviting anyone with a talent to perform at the show.

Uncles and aunts, children with dogs,

men and women, fish to the swimmin', even you!

Ladies and gentlemen, come perform at the circus before the real show begins.

Go on act, on amazing skills and don't hold back.

Come one, come all.

Circus, circus, circus!

They let people perform.

Then we should do an act, Sausage. Well, would you like that?

Sausage. Sausage! Hello.

Hey, snot face! Want to get in Freddy's way, you'll get your nose in a clamp.

You again! Don't you ever learn, tiny runt?

Wow? What a deadly dangerous dog, huh. Like I'm scared of that.

Can't you just leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?

Give me that! What have we here you little cookie but Freddy ...

Listen, what if we say, you leave me alone now,

then I'll let you throw me in the trash can ten times all through summer.

What do you say?

Yeah, right woose. Not going to happen, man.

What's this? A little frog!

Come on. Give it back. I'm taking him to the river.

Okay, okay, I'll be fair. Tell you what. You can choose.

Either I eat the frog, or you get a thumb.

No, just give him back. Come on. Leave him alone.

Now, Fargo, thumb. Come on, come on, come on.

Give him back!

What's wrong tiny runt? Afraid I'll eat it.

Hey! What's going on? Just a minute, you two.

You know fighting's not allowed.

- But he's just eaten my frog. - It's your frog?

T-t-t that's him. The scoundrel that let out my pigs.

Oh dear. Did he bother you too.

- Did you eat his frog, boy? - Yes, he did?

Well, that's a relief. Frogs are protected, so you're not allowed to eat them.

Ah well, except in France. But they'll do anything down there.

Look! He did eat it!

Is there a frog in your mouth?

Oh poor snookems. What did the piggy bully do to you?

I'm not a pig bully and he ate my frog.

Do you or don't you have a frog in there?

See for yourselves.

Ahh! Totally yuck! The slime is stuck in my throat.

A trip into Freddy's mouth! Yuck. I prefer a head dive into a pool.

You're going to pay for this, you tiny runt.

So you did eat his frog.

- What's your name? - It's Freddy, Frederick, Francis, Frida?

- No, his name is Freddy Frogface. - Freddy Frogface.

Freddy Frogface.

And his throat is full of warts and his ears are full of tadpoles and ...

That's a lie.

He lives in the swamp with a huge toad.

I'm going to get you for this.

Stay will you. Stay here!

I'm going to smack you, you treacherous twig!

They'll soon be great pals again.

My many years as a teacher tells me that.

I see.

Victor!

Where are you, you thick-head?

Come on, Sausage.

Stay in the bag. We're nearly there.

Good luck.

Bye!

In here. Hurry up.

You're so dead, you little ass-bob!

Well! What have we got here!

No, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. You've got the wrong boy.

What's a little brat like you doing here?

You know what I do with the likes of those

who scare my chickens and trample over my flower beds?

- No. - I wallop them.

But, you're too small, so I won't ... this time.

Instead, I'll let you dig up worms for my chickens, you hear?

And I'm not letting you out until you have a whole bucket full of worms.

And if those frigging darn crows up there ...

come and eat the chickens' food,

- then you just call me. You hear? - Yes.

Damn frigging crows ...

Ladies and gentlemen. Tomorrow night is circus night.

Come and see the carnival king tonight.

Come on Sausage. We'd better hurry.

Yeah, we still reach the park just before the show.

Well, hello you little ass-bob.

Did you get locked up in the play pen?

Huh, are you? Hey, worm. Digging for worms. What are you doing?

Shh! Keep it down. It's a secret.

Yeah, right you woose.

Hey man ... hey, hey, hey. Tell me will you.

Or I'm gonna beat you blue and purple, and make you look like a bunch of tulips!

Or a ...

It's just that I'm digging for a treasure.

The blacksmith buried it and now we can't find it.

You're such a liar!

No. seriously. Whoever finds it gets half.

Err, is it big, then?

Yeah man. It's huge. Full of silver, gold and diamonds ...

Huh! Oh no. I went and told you after all.

Hey, let me dig it out. I'm bigger than you.

No, the blacksmith gonna kill me.

Look! I'll give you a tenner if you let me do it.

Okay.

Three months soccer. Now hop it!

Hey, what's that?

My rectinal glasses. Glasses that give you spider vision.

Oh. Wow.

- Careful, Clara. They're pretty fragile. - And what is this then?

That's a snail racing board. Please stop messing about.

- Yeah. - Shouldn't you unpack.

Hey. Are you going to sulk all summer?

I'm not sulking and I'm no chicken-poop either.

Well, I never said you are. I think you're more like a drama queen, actually.

And I'm not a drama queen either. No way.

Hello! Who's there?

Hey, what on earth is ...

Hey! Didn't I tell you to keep an eye on the digging crows?

Digging? I'm digging pretty deep.

Where did he come from? What in frigging tarnation are you doing?

Ah, I'm digging up the treasure, I think.

Digging? That's no exaggeration.

Are you out to ruin my chicken yard, kid?

No, no. I was just digging a chicken bath.

But it was the little guy who told me to dig! Because he was too slow.

Oh, you're not! You're just the right size, you are.

Oh, Sausage, I just can't wait to tell Jacob about this.

- Take this you hooligan! And this! - I am pretty small now too.

Jacob!

Jacob!

- Hi. - Hi, Victor.

Lower down the basket, will you.

Hey. Just wait until you hear this, okay?

Well, we're at the square, right. Then Freddy came and tried to take the frog.

Have you been acting up again, Victor?

No, no. Then Svensson came and then he grabbed Freddy by the ...

Okay then. You've learned to think first so we don't both get into trouble.

Hello! What's with the drama queen ... dude?

Look, just because he thinks first,

doesn't mean that you're sulking, or a drama queen diva

or a chicken poop.

- Good going! - Oh man, that was just awesome.

I know. Jacob ...

I'm sorry I said that stuff about you being a chicken poop.

The blacksmith blew a fuse, and then this go with the frog,

everyone calls him Freddy Frogface.

- Isn't it funny? - It is!

- Frogface? - Yeah!

That's a different.

I got something for the three of us. Ladies and gentlemen. Tada ... Circus!

And, guess who's going to perform.

Ah, is Sausage going to be a real circus dog?

Mmm. I think maybe he needs to practice a little bit, but

Good golly, Miss Molly. That's a 12-62 caliber.

"Good golly Miss Molly" whoever says that?

Well, it's only just the largest caliber there is.

Wow man! This is going to be so awesome.

Jacob, don't you know a nice, secret place to go and practice.

What about the yard?

That's it, good boy.

Okay, listen up.

First, the crowd applauds, and then the nice circus doggie enters.

Then I throw the stick, and you fetch it, yeah.

- Perfect. - Hi, Victor.

- What are you doing? - We practicing for the circus.

Alright Sausage. Listen up.

Now see if you can walk on your front legs.

- Wow. What kind is he? - What do you mean?

It's just my big brother says there are lions in town.

And they eat little kids that go by the name Louis.

- What? - And I'm called Louis.

No, there aren't any lions in town, Louis. Don't worry.

And Sausage is a dog. He's a clever dog.

Come on, Sausage. Here! Try again.

- Hah, clever dog. - We are having meatballs.

Well, good for you. Hey, Louis!

Don't tell anyone we're here, okay. You promise?

No, no. I do.

Tomorrow night is circus night.

There they are again, Sausage.

Come on!

... Come and see the cannonball king

Jean Das being shot from his turret for the very last time.

And the great tightrope walker ...

Sausage, what's up with you?

- Have you seen any lions? - Oh yeah, they're all over the place.

- Really? - Sure!

Now move your butt so I can get pass.

Victor said there weren't any lions, so I shouldn't be scared.

Where is the tiny runt?

I know where of course. I'm not allowed to say.

Listen up! Either you tell me where Victor is

or you gonna spend a night in the lion cage with a steak in your mouth.

That's great, Sausage.

Did anyone here ordered a beating?

No blacksmith around to help you now, you tiny runt.

So, wriggling in the net, they say. Oh, damn it, mutt!

Sausage, stop. Don't attack him. He's dangerous.

Where did you go?

Hey, come back. Get back down here, you little wasp.

Come down and get your beating.

Wait till I get my hands on you, you ...

Okay you tiny runt. Now I got ya!

Have a safe landing, Freddy Frogface!

Great flying style. Smokin'!

You again!

No, oh, no, no, no. Not me. Take someone else. Oh, no.

Oh, yes. Cos you just knocked over my beer.

No, no. It was ... Freddy Loogon.

You can't hit a guy with glasses.

Hi, Victor. The race is about to start.

- Thank you. - There.

Come on, No. 13

Hey, are we going to play soon?

Yeah, yeah. But I just want to show Victor an invention while snails warm up.

You now know it is Victor. When you write with invisible ink, right?

- Ah. No. - No, no. Sure you do.

Well, I ... okay then. I guess I must do. Yes.

Okay. If you write and write with invisible ink ... Are you with me?

Then suddenly you make a mistake, grammatical or something,

and then you can't see you made a mistake, right?

Well, I found the solution.

Invisible white out.

Invisible white out. I don't think anyone's ever going to use that, Jacob.

No. You lack any vision. It's the principle.

Some day the world will thank you, Jacob. You want to play?

- Well, I do. Boys against girls? - That's okay.

- Okay. What do you want to play first? - Checkers. You know it?

All right then.

- Shape up Jacob. - You shape up.

Ah yeah, new game.

Hah, got you didn't I? You give up?

Hey little runt. Want to play?

Ah, you too worse to play?

Yeah. Too worse.

And then I'll take Board Walk. Had enough?

So ah, Victor. How is your circus act coming along?

Err right, did you practice?

What is it?

You won't believe it. But he did it again!

Man, you should have seen him fly across the road. It was hilarious.

And he landed smack in the blacksmith's garden on top of his pork belly sandwich.

Freddy!

If you've practiced something, let's see it.

Hah, sure. No problem. Have we got anything to show them?

Yeah, let's do!

Yah, okay, okay. We can do a double somersault, right?

Ready?

Okay. One ... two ...

... three ... and ...

- No! - Sausage!

Sausage!

Sausage! Stop!

- Ooh! - That was close.

- Stop. - What?

Freddy's outside.

- So, that's Freddy? - Yes, he doesn't know Victor is here.

I'm sure he haven't been acting up.

He doesn't look that dangerous. I think I could talk to him.

Ah, there you are.

Let's just go to bed.

- Freddy's everywhere. - Yeah.

Jacob, can't you think of something smart, to get us to the circus tomorrow?

Nope, it's not my job to save your behind. Hmm, how much do you weigh?

- 92 lbs. But why? - Oh nothing. Here!

Well, good night, boys. Sleep tight. And you too.

You're gonna do fine tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Sausage.

Ah Jacob, number 13 won.

There's Freddy again, Jacob.

Doesn't that guy ever sleep?

He just wants to beat you, don't you think? Sleep tight.

I hope we make it to the circus.

Hold on tight, Victor.

I am. I just don't see why we can't put on our disguises after we've come down.

But then Freddy would know it was us. Don't you see?

Good golly. You're as heavy as lead.

Come on. This is fantastic. This is working fine.

Oh man. It's dark and dusty inside this coat.

Oh, you look great, Sausage. Whoo, hey watch out, you Clumsy Bones.

This is awesome, Jacob. It's the best idea you ever had.

Yeah, I'm already regretting it.

Are you serious about this?

To tell you the truth, I think it's a lousy, sloppy and risky idea.

Don't be such chicken poop. We're as good as invisible.

I'm not a chicken poop.

You look great Sausage. Come on. Let's go.

If I don't make it, I leave you all my future patent rights.

- Cut it out. Giddy up. - You giddy up.

I think I'm just gonna go ahead.

We are like, really, really awesome at this.

Stop, stop! It's Mrs Olsen.

- I bet she won't recognise us. - Are you sure?

- Oh yeah. Just keep going. - What about the circus?

Hello! Over here!

What a marvelous sunny day today, don't you think?

Yes, what a terribly rainy day, ain't it.

And the taxes keep rising. I blame it on the young people.

- Yeah, it's a crime scene. - No, not at all.

- Oh, is it not? - Oh yes and then again, I agree.

And did you see the Stevensons in No 49 got a new flagpole?

Oh yes, and the price of milk has gone up again.

- Well, I mean I never. - Well, you don't say.

And I just read in the paper, we're not allowed to eat pork chops any more.

So there goes Thursday dinner and we're all up their rocker.

Excuse me?

Not to mention all the stairs everywhere.

Stairs, stairs, stairs!

- Ah, it's truly an outrage. - Indeed.

Ah say, are you new in town?

Gerda is my name.

- Well, bye bye. I'm going to the circus. - What an interesting man?

See Jacob. No one recognizes us.

We can do what we like without getting into trouble.

I knew it was like this to be a grown up.

Hey look! It's little Louis.

Hello, sonny. So what's a little rascal like you up to?

Hey. It's us. Don't you recognize us?

No, cos my brother says I'm cross-eyed.

And if I don't put money under my pillow for the eye fairy, I'll go blind.

He says what?

But you're not cross-eyed. I bet your vision is better than ours.

Even though we've got three eyes.

- Three eyes? - Three eye, Louis. We're not lying.

A lion!

This is crazy Jacob. No one recognizes us.

Hey! Hey!

Aren't you that famous guy?

I mean the guy on the picture on the ... radio.

Oh, I mean the guy in the paper.

- Well. - Well I just knew it was you.

Oh wow. Imagine me meeting you here.

I really love your pimples.

- Oh, I mean, are they real? - Yeah.

And wow. What a great hairdo.

Your hair just looks like a frisic end of a perfect joint.

A water-cooled rope you have. What's it for?

Well, it's for my rope collection.

Oh! Wow. You must be really into work stuff and things.

- I mean, what a great hobby. - Yeah.

It's a ... Rope's pretty cool.

Hello there, shorty.

Yellow teeth ... That's so neat. I mean, white teeth are so ordinary.

But your teeth, when you smile,

it's like sunshine coming out of your mouth. It's like gold.

Anyway, you have a nice smile.

- Come on, Jacob. Let's go back to him? - But we just made it past him.

Come on. What about the circus? Let's keep walking.

He won't recognise us. Come on.

Oh Vic. Won't you ever learn? We've been over this again and again.

Let's stop and think.

So you want to be a wimp? What's the Latin word for that? Wimpedious?

I am not a wimpedious.

Oh relax. What can go wrong?

You want come watch me beat someone up?

Mmm.

- Or just slug 'em. - That sounds nice.

I'll even let you join in the fun. I warmly recommend the face punch.

For a beginner, like you.

Okay. Well that sounds fascinating. But, shouldn't we go for a walk now, then?

- What are you up to, boy? - Nothing, Sir.

Ahh, weren't you going to show me something really cool?

I know all about you, you ugly boy.

You never wash.

You eat your toenails and pick your nose with your slimy fingers.

Oh my! Just look at the time. I think we all better just go home ...

I bet you're planning on tying up one of the little smart kids.

But if don't stop bothering people immediately,

I'll see to it you go to jail and then to the dentist.

Whew! And finally to a desert island full of ants,

where you have to listen to Ben-toil music.

Pardon me.

So you tiny brat!

We're pulling old Freddy's leg, are we?

No ...

Freddy's gonna make you really pay!

Don't think of fleeing, I'm gonna get you!

- Well done, guys. - Just stop, okay.

- Have you seen my coat? - It probably run off on its own.

You're not going to get away this time.

Oh dear. It's not as if I'm easy to overlook.

The piggy bully! You again.

What have you done this time, you scoundrel?

Oh, what did that nasty bully do to you, you dear sensitive boy?

I went down Rolley Polley hill with a valentine in a scooter.

But you're not making any sense, sweetie.

There.

- Do you know this boy? - Ahh, he's a ...

- He's my little brother. - No, I'm not. I'm ...

I'll take care of him, ma'am.

Thank you, dear.

You should never let the bullies of the world get away with their foolish pranks.

Keep it up.

- You started it. You took my frog. - Yup. And now I'm taking you. Gidee up!

- Where did they go? - Hmm, that's strange.

We could have the fibres from Freddy's clothes. I saw it on TV once.

All we need is between 10 and 15 men.

Hey, Sausage is on the trail.

No doubt there. The answer lies within a narrow range of options.

Clara. I got it! Maybe we could find a tracker dog.

I'm going to hang you to dry like wet laundry.

See that window, little runt? See that plank sticking out there?

That's where you're going.

And you're going to hang there until you drop and squash like kiddy mash. Hah!

There you go, buddy. Spread your wings and fly.

- Jeez, how much do you weigh? - 92 pounds.

Well, that a lie, your woose.

Oops!

Hah, that's better now! I'm much heavier than you, tiny runt.

No! Don't! Let me go!

Victor!

It's laundry time.

Oh, practicing your flying. Just as well, cos you're going to need it.

Stop ... I said stop! Whaa!

Victor!

- What are you doing? - I'm going down. Have fun.

Hey! It's actually dangerous to hang up here.

- I know. I've been there. - Victor!

You can see all the way to Sweden from up there. So enjoy the view.

I cannot befriend you.

Hey, you can't do this. Let me down right now.

Let me down, right now!

That was a smart move with the sack, Victor. Makes you think.

But now you smell like a moldy old flour sack.

You smell like a moldy old flour sack!

If you just left them to me,

no one would be smelling like a moldy, old flour sack.

And we wouldn't be here. We would be at the circus.

Now, it wasn't me that wanted to go back to Freddy.

Well, at least he's out of our hair now.

Hey, hey. Wait! Wait! Get me down!

You sure we can just leave him up there?

Of course. No problem. He can hang out with the crows and chill.

We'll get him down after we've been to the circus.

Sure, why not?

Wait, no, wait! I won't beat you up. I promise.

I'll give you a tenner. I swear.

Okay, two tenners then.

Okay, this is my last offer. Twenty!

Hello?

Hello!

Here we are, Sausage. Are you excited? What do you think?

Excuse me. Can I have your advice? Red or blue, I just can't decide.

- Uhh, Red. - Of course. It's a classic. Yes.

What are you doing here?

Do you know where to go if you want to perform with your dog?

Maybe you should talk to the great Bardini.

But you're not going to be clowns, are you?

Well ... wait a sec. Go to the left is it, or is it to the right?

Why the caravan that once belong to Carlo Androkles' first wife

or was it the second?

And past Antonioni's invisible garden chairs.

And turn right by Ming Gozelence's nail sofa.

Yes, and now I need to think. Yes! That way.

- Well, I say that way. - Thanks.

Thanks. Well, you're very much welcome.

That was a pretty weird guy, huh?

Get lost, you fat pigeon.

Ouch! I'm gonna make meatloaf of you, you ugly feather duster.

Ow! Oh, ow for ...

Ow! Ow!

It's a frigging giant crow! My shotgun! Where's my shotgun?

Carlo Androkles.

- Hey, that must be the ... - Yeah, that's me. Titra Puoka.

- What are you doing? - I'm just hanging down my washing.

Those things are just beach toys, aren't they?

Oh, yeah.

Don't worry. They wouldn't hurt a fly.

But unless the fly falls drop right in front of them.

Do you know a guy called Barduni?

The Great Bardini. It's around the left, just past the red caravan.

Thanks.

Oww, my bottom! I sat down on a pillow. Out you go!

Carefully, don't step on it! Oh, oww, that's torture.

So, watch for pillow. You'll end up with nasty infection.

Erh, Simsalabim.

Damn, it's suppose to be a little egg sandwich.

Excuse me, Bardini. The great Bardini.

No, my name is Antonioni.

- An invisible table! - Bardini's that way.

- He was sitting in thin air. - Dobby Jesus, there is a steak missing.

If I'm going to lift 14 hundred pounds, I need 30 steaks, and there is only 29.

Oh bummer. I don't think I can go on like this any more.

Ah, there is a steak right there on the ground.

Oh, the saints be praised. So there is.

I hope it didn't get dirty.

Waah, stop that Strong! It's not funny!

I just dropped something, Amanda. I'm sorry about that.

I have told you to find something else to lift.

Thanks a lot.

Do you know where we can find the great Bardini?

Oh! The great Bardini, huh. Well, he's right back there.

Thanks.

Oh, what a nice little doggie. How about a little steaky?

You like that, eh? You won't mind for a dirt now, would you, eh?

Oh, my heart!

No, I'll be good. I promise.

Why, it's that frigging, talking, giant crow. They are the worst.

No, don't shoot! Don't shoot!

What the ... you again?

No, no, not me. I'm a nice little butterfly.

- First you go and ruin my chicken yard. - No, that was him. The tiny runt.

- Then you knock over my beer. - No! Don't pull me down.

I'm staying here. I'm having such a great time.

I love all the fresh air up here.

Now ... and now my dinner back home is getting cold.

- No. - Oh, yes.

And when I'm finished with you, you can use your ears as a immersion heater.

Mr Great Bardini ...

Oh, who interrupts the great Bardini's dinner?

It's Bardini.

We just came to enter an act, my dog Sausage and me.

Did you buy tickets? 15 bucks a head, like all the other heads.

Um no. Not really. But do you need a ticket if you gonna perform?

Well of course, you need one. And we're almost sold out.

Everyone wants to go to the circus. Too bad for you, huh?

But! We'll be back next year, and then you can go to the circus.

In just 12 little bitty months.

Is that all, huh?

Brilliant inventions for sale. You can't live without them.

Step right up.

Yup ... right.

Well, thanks to intense scientific research I have solved a huge problem

facing all the people around the world

who struggle to get their spaghetti on to their cutlery.

Ladies and gentlemen, the turbo fork!

Only for the price of three circus tickets.

Maybe Victor found some, buyers for your old brat.

What?

Let's hope Victor's already sold the bundle.

Excuse me.

You see, if you'd like to see things through the eyes of a spider,

then you'll gonna love this.

Yes, of course, of course. But, is it possible to put batteries in them?

Sure.

- How much are they? - 10, maybe.

Could you go up to 15?

Sure, but aren't you supposed to bring the price down?

Oh, you drive a hard bargain. Not a penny below 20!

Well, it's ... that's fine then. You win.

- Thanks. - You are so very welcome.

Yes, Sausage, I don't want to be inside his head, either.

To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left, ...

Hey, have you seen that Victor creep again and his little stupid mutt,

or I'll beat you up, or something, runt?

Any other options?

Are you dumb or something, woose? Spill it!

They are performing at the circus. My brother says the circus is poisonous

to people who are called Louis. And that's my name.

S. .. Ci ...

I .. S .. C S ... Okay then, perform a what, runt?

Yeah. They've got a great act. Have you got a great act?

I can slug you in the face. Tada! Wasn't that great?

Ahh, I don't think that's gonna work nearly as good in the circus

as Victor and his dog.

His dog? Well, he can forget all about that.

It's funny my brother never warned me about people called Freddy.

Wow. Look at me.

I can do.

Hey!

What do you think you're doing? That cannon is not a toy. Get down.

Hands off, you cheeky kids. The cannon has to be spotless. Boom!

Thank you, boy. People have no respect for cannons anymore.

- Well, that's strange. - Well, you have to speak up!

"Well, that's strange", I said!

Really? Well, I for one think it's straight.

No, our time is over, isn't it Bertha? Oh, what a mess.

Now that I've grown old and scared of heights,

I don't even think I can find an apprentice.

No one loves the cannon anymore.

Wouldn't all kids just love to be shot out of a cannon?

No, today they'd rather sit around and listen to their vexing wretched tapes

or play with their gadgets with all that buttons.

- But ... - Say what?

No, I think you're too small. Shame.

Yeah, of course I've grown.

Younger, and scared of heights and allergic to gunpowder, so ...

Well, what do you know.

But I have another little job for you, if you like, boy.

Will you look after my cannon, while I go and mix some super strong

jubilee gunpowder for my last shot?

You see. I need to concentrate.

Thanks, but I'm busy selling inventions so we can perform at the circus.

Oh well, maybe you can help an old cannon ball king,

if he were to give you a ... ... a free ticket.

For real? Gee thanks. Oh! Well ...

No, I can't go to the circus if I can't take my 2 friends.

Boom! You drive a hard bargain.

But I've got a watchdog with me.

- A watchdog? Really?. - He is basically looks or at least ...

Well ... fine then.

You and your fierce watchdog get 3 free tickets then, when I return.

Wind up the cannon in the meantime, will you?

You bet I will. Thanks, Cannon Ball king.

Watchdog ... Ha ha. Now I've seen it all.

Ooo ahh!

Huh ... Focus. Focus. Focus, focus, focus.

Hey, look!

Nope! Don't mess with the cannon. Boom!

Stand to attention, Sausage.

You look like you could do with a bit of fresh air, huh, Sausage?

We've better make a round.

See anything?

- Hi, Victor. - Well guys, you trying to kill me!

- How many did you sell? - Only one.

But guess who just met the Cannon Ball King?

I don't know.

And guess who's looking after the cannon and is getting 3 tickets for it for free.

- Boom! The three of us. - For real?

... there is a steak missing!

That was Mr Strong.

Yeah. He probably dropped his steak again.

Where is Sausage?

Hey, weren't you supposed to look after my cannon?

Yes, but Sausage, you know, my watchdog just went over to Mister Strongs.

But if he is over Mr Strongs and you are here,

that means you're not watching my cannon.

No, but I did put two of my very, very best guards on it.

And now get lost.

You promise, boy?

Yes! I guarantee it.

Cross my heart and hope to die and scout's honour.

Well okay then. And here are your three very special tickets. Boom!

- Enjoy the show. - Yes! Thanks.

Now Sausage and I get to perform.

- A doggie. - Where is it?

What are you staring at? Want to go in the sack too?

We are not allowed to talk to strangers.

- Err, Mr Strong, have you seen my dog? - Err, No!

Was it your dog who took my steak?

No, he wouldn't dream of that.

Come on. I just don't get it. Where can he be?

- He fart it. - Sausage!

Sausage! There's something funny going on here.

Hey, I got an idea, if we ...

...seats. Ladies and gentlemen come along. Doors are opening in 5 minutes ...

Okay, just go and find your places. I think I know where he is.

But remember, you have to add up. Our act is me and Sausage. Right?

Sure, don't worry.

I hope they make it.

Now you stay here until the show's over.

You're vicious!

You really are ferocious.

Hey! We gonna do a dangerous act for that circus.

I'll let you out, so we can do a totally dangerous act together, okay?

Hey, but no biting!

These tiny runts gonna go for knowledge when he sees us in the circus.

Hah! You actually look like a Rottweiler.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Maybe we should call you ... King!

Alright! Go on, King. Get it!

Yeah, way to go King.

We gonna do the most awesome act with swords and ropes and stakes and stuff and ...

And fire!

The show is about to begin. Move forward there, please.

Come along. Have your tickets ready.

Come along. Weave along. Weave along there.

Ahh, thank you, Madam.

Move along now, please. Move along.

I'd like to enter an act. Victor and Sausage it is.

That doesn't ring a bell. Keep moving there, please.

Come on. Move along. Move along.

Hey, hey, hey, you two kids down there. Ah you! Stop!

Who I wonder, gave you these very special tickets?

Uhh ... The Cannon Ball King.

Sure about that? Are you sure it's just not a lie?

Of course it's not. We looked after his cannon for him.

What an honour!

Gangway people. Make way for the guests of honour.

Bullshit! We were here first!

Hey, you can wait. Hey move! You old donkey.

I beg your pardon! I've never heard such rudeness.

I'm sorry, madam. I just mistook you for an old donkey. My mistake.

I can see now you're a hippo.

Make way for the guests of honour.

Oohh. All that riff-raff.

This way to you kids. Your seats.

Enjoy the show.

Tell me, what was the name of the act again?

Victor and Sausage.

I suppose we see to it that the act "Victor and Sausage" is entered promptly.

Help yourself to pops. You can always ask for more.

Thank you for coming to our humble circus.

- Good golly, what great seats. - Yeah, good golly.

- Victor and Sausage are gonna go wild. - They'll be here soon.

If they make it.

Ladies and gentles, a totally dangerous act with swords and some other stuff ...

- And the ferocious beast, King!

Come on, King.

- Okay. Now your turn. - Just throw the ball.

Hey. Hey, have you seen this guy with a dog in a sack go by?

- We can't talk to strangers. - You mean Frogface?

Yeah. Him. Which way did he go?

- Why? - Uhh, come on. Which way?

- We don't want trouble with Frogface. - Well, you want trouble with me, then?

So, who are you?

I'm ... Well, they call me Victor ... Fly Gobbler. And I'm feeling generous.

And you. You're eating a blue-fly, a large, juicy one.

You're going to feel it twitching, and crawling and squishing your throat.

He went into the old cake factory over there.

Uhh, thanks.

Fire! There's got to be something that will burn.

You can't wait, can you? Oh no, you can't.

Then it's gonna get even more dangerous,

but you like danger, you insane killer dog.

I'm gonna find something useful. Huh, uhh, sit!

Cool. Oh, this is gonna be awesome. Now, what a crazy Rottweiler.

Oh, there must be some kerosene or alcohol or gas or napalm or something.

Yoohoo! I'm over here.

- Look at this. - Cheeky kids.

- You're off duty. pumpkin. - You wanted their attention.

- What good memory. - That's irrelevant.

Ladies and gentlemen, the great, the huge, the magnificent ringmaster, Bardini!

Already I don't like it.

Oh, where are they?

Ladies and gentlemen!

It is my colossaly great honour to welcome you to Bardinis Grand Jubilee Show.

- What's he saying? - Creme de la creme!

It's okay, pumpkin.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Cannon Ball King Don Kraus is going to SHOOT HIMSELF!

Even though there is still spark in that old dud,

he is burning for a life without guns.

He didn't get fired. He feels extinct. He's gonna jump the gun.

He's gonna go up in smoke!

That's what I call humor.

But before the final salute, we have 3 acts.

Yes, 3 big acts, ladies and gentlemen.

3 acts. How exciting.

We have some local amateurs who are going to show off their skills.

I think I'd better go and look for them.

Hello?

Hello? Are you in here, Sausage?

Sausage ...?

Hello ...?

I'm going to take your dog

and your circus act, while you stay here and rot, tiny runt.

- Don't you dare hurt Sausage. - Enjoy your stay.

And if you get bored, well, have a nice chat with the door.

Let me out, please.

Come on, let me out!

Help! Let me out!

Straight out from South Street comes Grandmama this Musical Dentures!

That's my beloved.

We gotta do something. I think I have a map some where, so.

You keep a lookout while I'm gone. Maybe he's lost his ticket.

Then ... maybe that's a better solution.

Dangerous Freddy and King ...

King and Freddy or Ladies and Gennies or Gendies ...

Ladies and ... Ladies and Dudes, that's better.

Ladies and Dudes, yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, the butcher Jonathan's amazing pork-a-chop cabaret.

Eating bounds in bed, and stop chopping your head them spam and then boil in a can.

Veggies are poisonous, salami is nutritious, baloney will make you a man!

What a terrible waste of good juice and meat.

- Hey, sit down, hooligan. - I'm sorry, sir.

- Madam! - Oops, sorry. Madam?

That's better.

Where are they?

Victor!

Victor!

And now, it's an honour for me to present to you the 3rd and final amateur act.

Come on, Victor and Sausage.

Victor and Sausage!

Oh, dear!

Viola!

What's going on?

Look! It's Freddy Frogface.

Well, we've changed our name, so now we're Freddy and the Ferocious King.

King is dangerous and savage, and that's why he's in the sack.

Easy, King. Easy, you wild killer dog.

Let's hope the killer dog doesn't smell your blood.

No, it's not funny.

A lion!

He's totally ferocious.

Victor!

Vic ...

Aah, Victor!

- Victor, are you alright? - Uhh, Clara.

Are you hurt?

Freddy took Sausage!

Then shouldn't you be at the circus instead of

fooling around with those kitchen tools?

Yes, sure. Yes. You're right. I'm coming.

Come on, King.

Ladies and genties, now I'm going to show you the most dangerous act in the world.

It's almost impossible to survive, if you are the dog, that is.

- The box of death! - The box of death?

Hey, Monstreal, play some heavy metal or something. This is dangerous.

Coming, coming.

I am wondering what you're going to find.

Oh, come on.

Oh, don't be too hasty.

King! Come back here!

Okay!

I'll get you. Arrh.

Excuse me.

Get into the box, King!

I'm coming through here.

Excuse us! Thanks.

- Clown! - Clown!

Clown!

- Heh, heh, clown.

Eat a frog, fellow.

Stop, King! Stop!

Must save it. Not a bad act.

Excuse me, Mr Bardini. That's Victor's dog.

What is that?

Just look at him. He doesn't obey him at all.

That is what so funny, dear boy.

But Mr Bardini, the act is Victor and Sausage. Sausage is Victor's dog.

So now we're talking two acts. Didn't see that for mileage.

No, none. There's only one act here. Victor's.

That act is Freddy and King.

No! Victor and Sausage.

Well, I think you're a bit confused, dear boy. Just enjoy the act.

Sir! He's going to put Sausage goes in the box of death.

I tried to talk to Barduni, but ...

King, I thought we were friends. Please, just go into my death box.

Wimp! You're just like my ex-husband.

Sausage!

You again!

Wait till I get my hands on you, you ass-bob.

The ticket ...

Hey, inspector! Here you go.

Yes, thank you. That's a very special ticket. What an honour.

Let me in. I got to get in.

Your ticket please. Let me have it.

- But I don't have a ticket. - Well, then I can't let you in.

Aii!

- Is this part of your Act Two, huh? - Yes, all we need is a stick.

- Here catch! - Thanks.

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Victor, and this is Sausage.

Here.

That tiny runt. This can't be true. I'm also smart. I've got ideas.

I can do stuff. I can spit. I'm good at that.

I'm good with animals and good at eating them

and teaching them to be dangerous and I can ...

It's just so hard to be me!

I'll mash him.

No, I'll beat him and then I'll mash him. No, I'll mash him, beat him and ...

I'm going to ruin his act!

Hey, did you see that one on TV last night? With the girl, the guy ...

I'm good at getting ideas.

There you go, ladies and gentlemen, a stick somersault!

I'll give you frigging stick somersault, you tiny runt.

Wait ... wait. No ... No!

Ladies and gentlemen, a backward somersault!

No, no, no, no, no!

You've seen a stick somersault and a backward somersault but

now ladies and gentlemen, you'll see the triple spin somersault with a stick.

I'm going to tear him to kebab strips, the tiny runt.

He's gonna rue the day he ever... Huh?

Of course. Donkey!

Voila ... Well, ladies and gentlemen, voila!

You are the Wikernee, a world act. A world class act, ladies and gentlemen.

He ruined your act.

Dear audience, dear friends. Let me share something with you.

I came to the show deeply grieving over the end of my life as the Cannon Ball King.

But instead I found great joy.

Joy of having seen such an obviously talented Cannon Ball King

as we just witnessed here today.

Call me crazy, call me a deaf old senile gunpowder geek.

But I'm going to ask Freddy to be my apprentice.

And one day you'll be the new Cannon Ball King!

Boom!

What the ...?

- What do you say? - Okay, yeah. I mean "Boom"

Say a few words.

I'd like to say that the Cannon Ball King is round, and the tent is big and red.

And thanks for coming and thanks Tilda for the delicious buffet. Boom.

We're not going to stand for this.

We'll give him something or shall I take action?

Ahh! What a magnificent teamwork.

How did you two, such good friends, come up with such an amazing act?

Hello?

Hello. This is not what you think at all.

Sausage, he is my dog, and Freddy, he stole ... He stole ...

He stole ...

- Go on, Victor. Tell the truth. - Jacob, I'm trying to think first.

I want to ...

Mr Bardini, your circus does travel far, far away, doesn't it?

Yes, we're on the road constantly, we're living out of a suitcase.

Tomorrow we're going to Sweden, and then on to Moscow ... and then on to ... ?

Do we really have to talk about that, right now?

Ladies and gentlemen, what I said before about Freddy stealing ...

I meant that he stole everybody's hearts with his amazing act.

And he's going to make a fantastic Cannon Ball King and ...

anyone can tell that Freddy, he belongs in the circus.

Okay, after this amazing opening, Circus Bardini will take a short break,

and then we will go on with our terrific show, ladies and gentlemen.

What on earth do you think you're doing, Victor?

Just tell me this. How many weeks of summer have we got left?

- 6.2 counting today. - Yes. Exactly.

And now we get to spend them all without Freddy. Now he's the tiny runt.

So now you got the chance to really punish the boy, have you?

Sure! Cannon grease, elbow grease and 14-hours day never hurt anyone, eh?

Right, apprentice? We'll soon make a man out of you.

Of course, he looks a bit green and a little bit weedy right now, but

some hard work will soon toughen him up.

Oh!

Now where did Sausage go?

Look. That's him. Victor Fly Gobbler.

He makes you swallow blue flies in a wisp. He's really, really dangerous.

It's called wasp.

But my brother says wasps only sting boys who go by the name Louis.

Maybe I should change my name.

- Hey, kids. Hello. - Oh no. He's seen us. Run!

Hey, wait!

- What's up with them? - Never mind them.

Here she is, Sausage.

Sausage! Sausage!

Don't worry, Sausage. They'll be back next year.

Won't Freddy be back too?

Yeah, but only for a day. And he'll be busy looking after the cannon.

Look at that, he's already at it.

- Get to work, apprentice. Boom! - Okay, sorry, I mean ... Sir.

Well, that was Freddy.

Why don't we pay Mrs. Olsen and their pigs a little visit?

Well, I think we should find someone else to pick on.

How about Mr Chestier, that printing guy?

The blacksmith's funny too.

Hey! Do you think you can make a remote controlled crow, James?

Oh, sure.

Woh, woh, woh, woh. Wait ... wait a minute! That tiny runt!