All language subtitles for Dear.Dictator.2018.HDRip.AC3.X264-CMRG

Subtitles by explosiveskull

♪ Coup d'etat, coup d'etat ♪

♪ Coup d'etat ♪

♪ Coup d'etat ♪

♪ Coup d'etat ♪

♪ The government
gets overthrown ♪

♪ A sudden force,
a major stroke ♪

♪ Over out, new comes in ♪

♪ Coup d'etat ♪

♪ Give me a bomb ♪

♪ Generalissimo sets up shop ♪

♪ Step out of line,
your neck's on a block ♪

♪ Armies marching
through the streets ♪

♪ Dressed real sharp,
dressed real neat ♪

Tatiana!

♪ Coup d'etat ♪

Tatiana,
hustle your ass down here!

Tatiana, now!

Hey, sexpot.

I just wanted to say

I had a really nice time
last night.

And, um,

I'm sorry about
what I said in the car.

I... I know how mad
it makes you,

and I promise
I won't say it again.

It's just,
I couldn't help myself. I...

I think I am
in love with you.

I thought I threw
those boots in the trash.

You did.

If you keep
fishing them out,

you're going to break
your neck.

You know, I got
better things to do than

push you around in a wheelchair
the rest of my life.

Morning.

You should've seen the way

he was looking
at me last night.

I mean, it's real.

And he's so smart.

I shouldn't have said it.
I shouldn't have said it.

You never tell 'em
you love 'em.

Everybody knows.
It's textbook.

Everyone except you,
apparently.

Hey, I deserve
a little respect.

No, no. You're right on track,
sleeping with a married man.

A soon-to-be divorced
married man.

Okay, sure.

Could you at least try
to fix your hair?

I am fixing it.
I'm fixing it to cover my face.

Not that you give a shit,
but you look pretty cute

when people can actually
see your face.

And ditching that thing in your
nose wouldn't hurt either.

You're the one
who took me to get it.

What can I say?
I'm an idiot.

Nnn!

No comment.

Walk much?

I think I might yark.

1975 Mustang Stocker,

blue-and-red tampo.

Original package.
Never played with.

Wow.

That is so... neat.

I always said
when I was a dentist,

I was going to have
the coolest waiting room.

Well, you succeeded.

Hey, so, um,

did you get
my message?

I had a really good
time last night.

Not here, Darlene.

There's a cleaning in Exam 4.

Hmph.

Hey, Tats.

- What's up?
- Hey.

So, did you read it?

Yeah.
I have to be honest.

I'm not sure
those books are religious.

I get them
from my church.

It's basically
torture porn.

That chapter on
the left leg of hell,

with the demon making that
other guy drink molten lead?

- Mm-hmm.
- That was disgusting.

Right?
I mean, who knew

that hell was divided
into parts of the body?

You haven't even gotten to the
best chapter yet: the bowels.

- Mm.
- When people are in there,

it's like they're
swimming in acid.

Their skin burns off.

It's awesome.

Yeah, I'll take
your word for it.

I don't know. It's just
not that fun to read about

the place where my skanky mom's
probably going to end up.

Happens to everyone who
commits sins of the flesh.

That's her.
Biggest slut in the game.

Here. This one's
even sicker.

It's the next one
in the series.

The devil's
actually a parasite

that eats a person
from the inside out.

I put Post-It notes
on all the good parts.

- Catch you later.
- Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Sophomores, you have proven
that teenagers can in fact

survive the ancient art
of letter writing.

You have personally corresponded
with luminaries

who have inspired you.

Does anyone care
to share whom...

not who, whom...

you selected?

I wrote to Mark Zuckerberg,
'cause he's so rich.

Inspiring choice.
Anyone else?

Miss Miles,

care to tell us
who you wrote to?

Anton Vincent.

The dictator?

Miss Miles,
the assignment was

to write to a role model,
someone you admire.

I admire his style.

You shouldn't admire
anything about him.

- He's evil.
- Okay, well,

so were the Khmer Rouge,
and they had good style.

Well,

I certainly appreciate
the shock-and-awe,

Tatiana,

but honestly,
you're smarter than that.

There is a reason
27 countries

have united to overthrow
Anton Vincent.

- He's a horrible person.
- Who looks cool.

You found the evidence
on their computers, yes?

They did not
have computers.

Then-Then how did you know
they were traitors?

You said
they were, sir.

You ordered
their executions.

If they had evidence
on their computers!

But they didn't
have computers.

Fire!

Sir, I'm sorry.

I thought you said that
you had the evidence.

I am so sorry, sir.
I misunderstood.

Sir, I'm sorry!

Sir, I misunderstood
what you said!

Sir! Please!
Please forgive me, sir. Please!

Sir! Sir!

Oh.

Oh!

Oh!

Charles, stop it.
You're...

Ooh! Oh!
That feels so good.

Ah!

You are so sexy.

Oh, my God.
Dr. Charles.

Patty won't let me
do this to her.

She thinks it's strange.

Oh, my God.
She's strange.

It's liberating, right?

Here.

- Ah!
- Keep recording.

I'll watch it again
later at home.

Oh, my God.
You're amazing.

Chrissake.

Hold that thought.
Darlene Miles.

What?

So what are
you gonna do?

Who knows?

Maybe we'll be
pen pals.

Right. You can ask him
his favorite color,

his favorite movie,

and how many people
he's tortured this week.

Dictators get
such a bad rap.

I wonder why.

Look, he mailed me
his armband, okay?

He can't be
that horrible.

When we freed our country

from the dirty
capitalist swine,

we expected
a better life.

Yet I regret to say

there are still challenges.

The surpluses we expected
in milk production

were ill-considered.

There are critical shortages
of gas,

bread, and soap.

I ask that you please
try harder.

We are trying harder!

I too must sacrifice.

This morning I learned
that my brother-in-arms

sold military secrets
to the United States.

Oh, my God!

For this,
I blame the enemy.

They can take away
our friends,

but they cannot take away
our spirit.

Homeland... or death!

Homeland or death!

You don't belong here!

Put your sunblock on
and go home!

Shoot this guy.

Did I tell you
I can't practice next week?

- Oh, yeah. The Bible retreat.
- Mm-hmm.

What exactly do you do
on those things?

We worship. It's rad.

I... I'm sorry.
I don't know why I did that.

It's okay. It's okay.

Um, it's just temptation.

You can shun it.

You're right.

I feel like
such a reject.

The Lord will
show you the way.

♪ Rape it ♪

♪ Rape it, rape it, rape it ♪

♪ Rape it ♪

♪ Rape it, rape it, rape it ♪

♪ Rape it ♪

♪ Rape it, rape it, rape it ♪

Tatiana,

what the hell
is wrong with you?

Your forehead vein
looks like it's gonna pop.

You should chill.

I'm sorry. How am I supposed
to chill when I get a call

from the high-school
principal saying

my kid's a total fuck-up?

I'm sure she used
those exact words.

She did,
and then she says that

you need more guidance...
like it's my fault.

You know, you try having a kid
when you're in high school,

- and you see how well you do.
- No, thank you.

You don't think I want
to be some smart-ass

writing letters to a dictator
for a school project?

I don't even know
what that means!

- I used to be a rebel once.
- No.

That's fine. That's fine.
Put it away. Okay, I get it.

No, you can stop now.
You're not funny.

You're disgusting.
Get away from me. Stop!

I'm just saying,
look where it got me.

I got you extra Sriracha.
You're welcome very much.

- I need you to come with me.
- I'm busy.

You don't even know
where I want you to go.

Yeah, to your
geezer boyfriend's,

so you can sit outside
and see if he's cheating on you.

I'm sure he's with
someone else.

Like his wife?

Okay, go up.
Look in the windows.

He said he was going
to be home, but...

he hasn't returned
any of my texts.

The lights are on.

Go.

March up there and scout out
the target, soldier.

Go!

Oop!

Come on, come on!

Let's go!

Was he there?

What do you think?
He lives there,

With his lovely wife
and his two kids.

Those kids aren't even
his kids.

They're her kids,
from another marriage.

And that Patty bitch
isn't so lovely.

She is a psycho bitch

who spends all his money
and acts like...

Like what?
Like she's married to him?

Shit! My armband!

Mom, we got to go back.

Dear Anton,
thanks for the armband.

I'm wearing it right now
even though my mom hates it,

but I hate my mom,
so that makes us even.

Okay, to be honest,
I'm not wearing it right now,

because it fell off when I was
running away from someone.

Long story.
I hope everything

is going good
with your country.

From, Tatiana.

Dear Tatiana, I'm sorry

you and your mother
are feuding.

I have a daughter who is
a little older than you,

and at times
she does not like me either.

Things in my country
are difficult right now.

There is a rebel faction

that wants to overthrow
the government

and behead me
and my family.

It is stressful.

It feels like there is
no one I can trust.

Oh, I can totally relate

about the trust thing.

I just got dicked over
by a teacher

who's got a stick up his butt
'cause I wrote to you.

To give you an idea
of the loser-dom at my school,

there's a group of girls who
call themselves "slushies."

It stands for
"sluts and lushes."

Sarvia is the one
they all worship,

which is a joke,
if you ever saw her.

She thinks
whale tails look good.

And somehow,
everyone agrees with her.

Borderline retarded, right?

Anyway, I'm sorry that

people want to kill you
and your family.

That's messed up.

By the way,
what's your favorite color?

Your letters have been

a welcome respite
from my struggles.

In addition to making threats
of invasion,

the United States supports
the rebel army

and has placed an embargo
around our borders.

It is impossible for goods
to come in or out.

My people cannot get
medical supplies,

and many people are dying.

My favorite color is purple.

I like purple too.

Does the embargo mean that
you can't download cool music?

That blows.

Maybe I can rip a CD
for your daughter.

Does she like
classic '80s hardcore?

Bands like the Meatmen,
the Dead Kennedys,

Gangrene, Dead Milkmen,

the Butthole Surfers,
Agent Orange?

Oh, definitely
the Circle Jerks.

Thank you
for your lively music.

My daughter enjoyed it.

The rebels have surrounded
the capital.

I know it sounds psycho

'cause we've never even met,
but...

sometimes I feel like you're
the only one who gets me.

My correspondence

will be less frequent.

Big bummer.

P.S.,
I drew you a picture.

Mom, what's going on
in there?

You better not O.D.
on cough syrup again!

What happened?

He fired me.

He said I was

causing him added stress.

He didn't complain about
added stress when...

when I was doing that thing

that his... that his wife
won't let him do.

- No, ew, Mom. Too much.
- No, it's not what you think.

God, I let him put my...

No, no, no. I really
don't need to know.

But, um,

I think
it's safe to say

Mr. Sexpot wasn't your ticket
to the American dream.

It's okay.

Hey, Den.

You know this maxi pad?

Yeah, we know each other.
We jam together.

Tatiana, Sarvia.

Sarvia, Tatiana.

We're already acquainted.

So when'd you get back
from Jesus camp?

I tried your cell all night.

That must've been
when we were...

busy.

Okay, well, I just
wanted to let you know

that I wrote back
to the dictator.

Oh, I heard about that little
genius plan of yours.

I don't mean to crush
your dreams or anything,

but, you know,
your pen pal's probably dead.

- What do you know about it?
- It's all over Twitter.

We droned the shit out of
his country this morning.

Everything's
all blown up.

The palace
of communist dictator

Anton Vincent
has been under siege

for the past three days.

U.S.-backed
island nationals

have ousted what would be the
last of the colonial families.

Vincent,
a third-generation strongman,

is still unaccounted for.

- Why aren't you in school?
- Shh!

Don't shush me.

Honey, you're
already on thin ice.

...to the islanders,
who are now shelling his palace

and pillaging his residence.

- Off.
- Leave me alone, all right?

Hey, Tats.

Did you miss me?

What kind of name
is Sarvia anyway?

Biblical.
From the Old Testament.

Oh. I bet her dad
would be mighty proud

to find out how skanky
his daughter really is.

It's not just... her.

Tats, me and Sarvia...

we uh...
we had sex.

Liar.

She brought some Molly
on the trip,

and we took it,
and it-it was crazy.

I'm going to hell, Tats.

I don't believe you.
You're lying.

I wish I were.

She made me record
the whole thing.

I don't want
to see that!

I'm sending it to you anyway.

There. Sent.

Maybe it'll purge me.

Say something.

Please?

- Get out.
- Tats, I don't know what...

Get out!

Get the fuck out!
Go!

Get out!

It's you.

Yes. It's me.

Don't make a sound.

I want some water,
some food,

and a computer
for the World Wide Web.

Okay?

I'm going to remain here.

And don't do
anything foolish,

because if they find me here,

we could both die.

You understand? Okay?

- Go. Go on.
- Oh, my God.

Do we have any
real food in this house?

What are you,
on a health kick?

No, but it would be nice

if we had something
other than candy.

I'm here.

Okay.

Did you bring
the provisions?

The modem's in my room.

The-The World Wide Web?

But you have to wait
till my mom's gone.

- Oh.
- Okay?

I apologize

if I frightened you.

It's okay.

Uh, did you bring
your daughter with you?

No, she's hidden
on the island.

I'm waiting till
I contact

my comrades tomorrow.

With your help.

Okay. Also, um,

this is all we had...
Red Bull, Fun Dust...

but it's a pretty sick
combination, I think.

Give here.

Yeah, it's a little strong.

Here.

Hold out your hand.

Okay.

You're smaller
than I imagined.

And you're older.

What the hell?
You can't be in here!

I'm trying to contact
my comrades.

How do you use
this device?

Okay, you're not even
in my mail program.

Listen, if my mom sees you,
she'll wig out.

I'm not even half-joking.

This is no time
for petty matters.

Tatiana,
two minutes, and I'm dust!

I have to go to school!
What am I supposed to tell her?

Uh, tell her you're sick.

You'll learn far more
with me than you will

from the U.S.
education system.

Tatiana!

Are you on meth?

Why aren't you dressed?

I... I think I'm sick.

Oh. Great.

Dragged my ass
out of bed for nothing.

Well, you need to find
a job, don't you?

Look who's telling who
what's what.

Worry about yourself, missy.

I am. You don't work,
I don't eat.

- Has she gone?
- She will be.

Good.

My comrades are waiting
for me for instructions.

I'm organizing
a revolutionary force,

and I will re-take
the capital.

For this,
I need your help.

- You mean, my help?
- Your...

I'm not exactly
a revolutionary.

No, you are infinitely

more capable
than you think you are.

The only people
who agree with you

are right here
in this room,

and I'm not
one of them.

I'm going!

If you so much as
step out of this house,

I'm gonna kick you
in the ass when I'm back!

Love you too, Mom.

I assume you have
a video camera.

Why would you
assume that?

You Americans fill your homes
with things you don't need.

Okay, but apparently
you need it.

We don't have
video cameras,

We have cell phones
with cameras on them.

Oh, well,

we'll use that then, eh?

Um, you're not taking hostages
or anything, are you?

'Cause just so you know,
I am un-cool with that.

No, no, no.

Okay.

Oh, and I need
a, uh, clean shirt.

My mom got that
at a hygienist convention.

It's nice, yeah?

Okay, action.

Comrades, countrymen,
brothers-in-arms,

Anton Vincent is alive

and building an army
of thousands.

I will return,
and together,

we will repel
the invaders.

Never give up.
Never falter.

Homeland or death.

How was that?

♪ Jealous cowards
try to control ♪

♪ Rise above,
we're gonna rise above ♪

♪ They distort
what we say ♪

O-Okay, turn it off.

We're done.

Okay. A classic song of revolt,
but it's your call.

We must hand-deliver
a copy of the video

to the offices of CNN.

Dude, you
really are in the Dark Ages.

We can just post it.

No posts!
A hard copy.

Fine. I'll burn a DVD.

There's a local
news studio...

Then we bring it there.

Okay, sorry to be a buzz-kill,
but we're lacking wheels.

In my country,

we ride on legs,
not foreign oil.

We can't ride our bikes there.
It's like two miles.

We ride.

Fine. But you need
a disguise.

Well, you're a better
well-dressed man than I was.

The well-dressed man?
Blue Velvet?

That was my Halloween
costume last year.

What's that?

It's a bicycle.

No, it's not.
That's a tricycle.

Okay, well, you said
you wanted to ride with legs.

Yeah,
but not on a tricycle.

It was my grandma's. She didn't
know how to ride a bike.

Wh...

♪ One Saturday, I took
a walk to Zipper-head ♪

♪ I met a girl there, and
she almost knocked me dead ♪

- ♪ Punk-rock girl ♪
- ♪ Please look at me ♪

- ♪ Punk-rock girl ♪
- ♪ What do you see? ♪

♪ Let's travel
around the world ♪

♪ Just you and me,
punk-rock girl ♪

♪ I tapped her on the shoulder
and said ♪

♪ "Do you have a beau?" ♪

♪ She looked at me and smiled
and said she did not know ♪

- ♪ Punk-rock girl ♪
- ♪ Give me a chance ♪

- ♪ Punk-rock girl ♪
- ♪ Let's go slam-dance ♪

♪ We'll dress like Minnie Pearl
just you and me ♪

♪ Punk-rock girl ♪

♪ We went to
the Village Pizza Company ♪

♪ And ordered some hot tea ♪

♪ The waitress said, "Well, no,
we only have it iced" ♪

♪ So we jumped up on the table
and shouted "anarchy" ♪

You did it?

We did it.

- Good work, comrade.
- Thank you.

I need A-C.

Dude, you need
a new outfit.

There's a mall
a few blocks down,

but let's walk.

♪ Just you and me ♪

♪ Punk-rock girl ♪

We can just
grab some lunch...

Hussy.

Oh, no. No, no.

What size are you?

I have no idea.

How's that possible?

Don't be embarrassed.
You're not a heifer or anything.

Only my tailor
knows my size.

He's been making my uniforms
for 26 years.

Does everyone in your country
have a personal tailor?

Go and get the clothes.

I found just
the thing for you.

This...

is me.

Hey, I think he's looking
at me. Look.

Look down.
Don't look at him.

Don't make eye contact.

- Excuse me. Sir.
- Don't look up.

Don't look up.
Don't look up.

Oh, shoot!

Sir, you've got to wait.

Hey! Stop!

What the hell, buddy?

Okay, listen,

he is not who
you think he is.

I don't care who he is.

When somebody with a badge
tells you to stop, you stop!

I'm so sorry. My uncle's
not from around here.

Now, can you produce
a receipt for those items?

- Receipt?
- Uh-huh.

- Yeah, yeah. Of course.
- Let me see it.

Of course.

Nobody leaves the store
without a hole punch.

- Got it?
- Yep.

Darlene. What...
What are you doing here?

You don't own
the parking lot, Charles.

Actually, I do.

But that's beside the point.
Why are you here?

I want things to go back
to the way they were,

or I'm going to sue
for sexual harassment.

And I'm going to
tell Patty.

We both know I have video
to prove it.

You're insane.

I thought that's what
you liked about me.

Work it out.

And this is
my daughter's.

- Tatiana!
- Oh, shit! Denny!

Tatiana, open the door.

Hey.

Is he looking for me?

Worse.
He's looking for me.

You deserve better, Tatiana.

You don't even know him.

I heard what he said about
the other woman in the garage.

If he doesn't see your worth,
he's not worth seeing.

Come on.

I feel like one of your
soldiers, wounded in battle.

You're not
a foot soldier.

You're a commander.

Commander of what?
Loser-ville?

Over your world,

you have power.

But you don't know
how to wield it.

Your classmates
are bourgeoisie.

You're proletariat.

You must rise up
and conquer.

It's easy
for you to say.

You don't go to Seely.
They're like royalty.

Well, be easy
to topple 'em.

The masses
despise royalty.

Oh.

I want to use
your World Wide Web.

You can just say "Internet."

No, no, no.
The address has to go

in the address field,
not in the subject.

Then down here, this is
where you write your letter.

And when you're done,
you hit "send."

How long till
they receive it?

Point-5 seconds.

Point-5 seconds?

Ah.

Are you sure you want
to go back there?

My people need me.

The people who drove
a tank through your house?

They will realize
their error,

and I will lead
the revolution.

Mm-hmm. I'm not trying
to be negative here,

but didn't they just have
a revolution to get rid of you?

Uh-oh.

Crap, my mom's here.
Okay.

Uh, hide in the closet.
Go.

Go, go!
Don't make a sound!

- Tatiana?
- Hmm?

Hey.

What's going on
in there?

Nothing.

I thought
you were sick.

I was.

I mean, I am.

Even barfed.

- Is your friend Denny in there?
- No.

Look, I've got
my bullshit detector on,

so don't even try
lying to me.

- No. No. No.
- Is Denny in there?

No. He is not in there.

You should...
No, no, no, no,

no, no, no!

No!

Ah.

You know, it does
really burn me up

- when you hide things from me.
- I'm not.

- So you shouldn't feel that way.
- Really?

Because when it comes to
the opposite sex,

I could really
lend you some pointers.

Thank you.

Like number one,

when you're hiding
a guy in your room,

the worst place you can hide him
is in that closet.

- First place everybody looks.
- Really?

And the second-worst place is

under the bed.

Hello?

Now, behind the door
is the best place,

because as soon as the parental
goes for the closet,

the guy slips out,
and he's home free.

You know so much. Mom, I'm
actually feeling really sick.

Can you go and make me
some tea or some soup?

- Of course.
- Okay. Thank you.

I'm just gonna...
check the closet!

No, no, Mom. Don't...
No. Mom! Mom, don't!

- Stop screaming.
- Mom, please, don't be mad.

I was gonna tell you
about him, I swear.

I'm not going
to hurt you.

I'm a friend
of your daughter's.

- My name is Anton Vincent.
- It's okay, Mom.

He's not a creepy child
molester. He's a dictator.

No, I'm here to
contact my comrades.

It's true.
He's totally M.I.A.

I'm waiting for instructions
from the resistance,

and I'll be
on my way tomorrow.

Don't be scared.
He's the good kind of dictator,

not the kind
that tortures people.

Right, Anton?

Well, in-in the name
of-of the revolution,

I've done things that
I'm-I'm not proud of.

Whatever, but he didn't
torture anyone, so it's fine.

Sometimes, to protect
the right of the majority,

you have to infringe
the rights of the minority.

Okay, but you didn't
torture people. Tell her.

I chose the lesser
of two evils.

You tortured people?!

They were traitors,
jeopardizing

the security of
thousands of citizens!

You think there's no blood
on your hands? Eh?

Have you seen what your country
has done round the world

so that you can all have
a big TV screen?

- We don't have a big TV screen.
- But you could have.

You could have anything.

That's what drives you...

what you could have,
not what you have.

You're a country
of greedy swine.

You just keep eating,
eating, eating,

until you can't speak!

All right.

If you want me to go,
I will.

But please let me leave
the way I came:

quietly.

Will you excuse us
for a second?

Oh, oh, yes, I'm sorry.

Please.

Bloody hell.

I just want to
let you know

that I had nothing
to do with this, okay?

I never invited him here.

He just showed up, and then
when the principal called

and you got really
mad at that,

I didn't want to
freak you out even more.

- Tatiana. Tatiana.
- He is a political refugee.

And by law, we're supposed
to give him asylum.

Tatiana, for Chrissake!

Why didn't you tell me?

Okay, I swear I will
never not tell you

I'm hiding a dictator
ever again.

Uh, so can he stay?

Do you think he could fix
the garage door?

Hey, my mom got us Subway.

- Thank you.
- And, uh, here's a list

of all the junk she wants you
to do around the house.

Okay.

Just put that there.

Have you got any more
of that colored powder?

- Fun Dust?
- Yeah.

Huh. You're hooked.

Remember when you said
I had the power

to change stuff
at my school?

Do you really
think that's true?

Oh, yes.

Okay.

Do you have factions
at your high school?

You mean like cliques?

Mm, those only exist
in movies about high school.

Yeah, well, I don't watch
high-school movies.

Well, what movies
do you watch?

I don't watch movies.

- Seriously?
- Mm.

You're missing out.
There are some great movies.

Okay, my favorite,
it's called Maniac Cop 2.

It's about this cop...
actually, he's a dead cop.

So then he dies,
he comes back to life,

and then he leads a revolution
with the guys on death row.

- Maniac Cop?
- 2.

First one
isn't as political.

Oh, I'll bear that
in mind.

Now, let's get down to
things that matter.

Factions.

Let's assume the factions
in your school

orbit around the ones
you have dubbed slushies.

How is it
that the few

always rule the many?

Two methods:
love and fear.

Many must love
these slushies,

and many more
must fear them.

Either way,
it creates the same effect...

they have power, and they use it
to maintain a stable state.

Sounds about right.

What happens
if you disrupt that power

with swift,
decisive action?

Confusion.

The masses won't have
a figurehead

to love and fear,
and they need one.

It's human nature.

There's infighting,
revolt, chaos.

You must gird yourself
for blood in the streets.

Metaphorically, right?

Oh, yeah.
Metaphorically. Yes.

Some innocents will,
metaphorically, fall.

But this cannot sway
a determined leader.

When the moment is ripe,
like a grape,

you will crush the fruit.

The mere presence
of authority

will return the state
to its natural order.

Have you heard the term
"coup d'etat,"

the seizure of power
from the establishment?

Yeah, we learned about it
in history class.

Well, this could be yours,
your "coup d'Tatiana."

♪ Viva ♪

♪ Into the dungeon
with the evil men ♪

♪ The people have risen,
we're free again ♪

♪ Come out of the closet,
come out of the hole ♪

Come out of the woodwork,
come into the fold

♪ Rebels and fighters,
a license to kill ♪

♪ Unite with the bandits
down from the hills ♪

Open your windows,
open your doors ♪

♪ Open your minds
to a freedom of thought ♪

♪ Viva the revolution ♪

♪ Viva the revolution ♪

♪ Viva the revolution ♪

♪ Viva the revolution ♪

♪ Raise your voices,
raise the flag ♪

♪ Smash the symbols
of the life you've had ♪

♪ Long live the future,
long live the scheme ♪

♪ Long live our hopes
and long live the dream ♪

- You fixed it!
- It wasn't difficult.

It's the same wiring as
the bombs the enemy drops on us.

Okay, people,
let's move it along.

Mom, keep it in check.

He's not a bad handyman,
for a dictator.

- That's not what I meant.
- Goodbye.

He's got this
sort of... mm...

forceful manliness.

Okay,
that's what I meant.

If you're entertaining
any fantasies about him,

press "delete."

He is the kind of guy who'd
break into your bedroom,

tie you up,
and make you feel...

Ew! That's so gross!
He's like 1,000 years old!

Do you want me to lie?
Fine.

Anton's a wuss.

Peace out.
Stay out of trouble.

Bye.

Excuse me.
Miss Miles?

- That's me.
- Wow.

You and Tatiana
could be sisters.

I'm sorry.
I'm Mr. Spines,

your daughter's
social studies teacher.

Well, aren't you
the yummy one?

I, um, I was wondering

if you'd be interested
in grabbing an herbal tea?

That is so flattering.

I'd love to go
on a date with you.

Oh. Oh, no.

No, I'm sorry. I'm afraid
you have the wrong idea.

No, I wanted to
talk to you about

Tatiana's situation
at home.

I have some concerns,
and I was hoping

I could learn a little more
about her background.

You know what you can
learn about?

How to shove sand
up your ass!

There's more
where that came from.

Way more.

Sarvia Siemers?
My office. Now.

Mr. Willow...

This is my station.
Beat it!

You can start drilling,
Doctor.

Uh...

Jose, hold the sombrero.

Hey, you want to earn
50 bucks

and a six-pack
of Corona?

Oh, sí, señor.
Mucho gracias.

Just do the lawn
and trim the fichus.

Yeah? Oh...

You're not Latino.
I'm sorry.

No, I'm Latino
in spirit.

Uh, either way,
you're a great gardener.

Thank you.

It's about time
the girls had some help.

You know her parents
left her this place, right?

But after two years
of Darlene... disaster.

She's been bringing up
her daughter.

Another disaster.

Jose, where are you going?

How dumb do you have to be
to sign your own name?

It was 20 grand
worth of damage.

She's totally not
capable of that.

Yeah, they found the stencil
in her locker.

I mean, it'll go on her
permanent record for sure.

So embarr...

Holy shit. We're dying.
Tell us everything.

- About what?
- Sarvia. Duh.

- I heard she's getting expelled.
- That is so messed up.

I thought
only dirt-bags tagged.

Maybe 'cause
she is a dirt-bag?

Well if that ain't the tranny
callin' the queen a homo.

Okay, call me whatever you want,
but how come your friend went

and spray-painted
the whole school?

And she forgot
about you, huh?

I didn't see
any "Chivas rules"

- or "Gigi."
- So?

She probably didn't
want to include us

'cause she didn't want
to get us busted.

Or not. Remember Hilton Head?
She got us busted then.

- Fat bitch.
- You're such a backstabber.

Oh, not like it matters.
She's never coming back.

- You'd like that, wouldn't you?
- Oh, excuse me?

You just want to be
top bitch, don't you?

In case you're wondering
why I'm so jazzed,

I got my old job back.

Praise the Lord.

Oh, you've been
a busy bee.

- Mm-hmm.
- The lawn looks great.

I also mowed
your neighbor's grass.

You're a man
of many accomplishments.

- Tatiana?
- Hmm?

Any accomplishments
your end?

Well, if you call
deposing the slushies

an accomplishment,
then yes.

And did you seize power?

Step three.

Hmm. She's not like
most Americans, you know.

They accept
what they are fed.

Mega-plexes, McMansions,
mortgages.

And in the end,
they accept death.

But she will not.

A rebel never accepts.

A rebel questions,
a rebel challenges,

a rebel charges.

And in that event,

she will not die.

You know a lot
about this stuff.

Never give up. Never falter.

- Homeland or death.
- Anton, it's you!

Experts are still investigating
the authenticity of the video...

- I like you better clean-shaven.
- Oh, thank you.

That video was left
anonymously

at On Scene News KSDD.

Now, Vincent's whereabouts
are unknown at this time,

but authorities do suspect
that he could be hiding out

in the mountains
outside of the capital.

Right, and the strange image
of actor Jennifer Lawrence

has prompted the Oscar winner
to step up security.

- Isn't that odd?
- Very. It's a strange story.

It's only a matter of time

before my comrades
contact me.

Tell you what,
let's cook something.

Celebrate all our successes,
you know.

Not American fast food.

Don't get all worked up.
She doesn't cook.

I do.

In the siege of 1992,

we were in the mountains,

and we had to forage for food

and cook it for ourselves.

I-I imagine
you have chocolate.

Always.

Tatiana, in the pocket
of my uniform,

you'll find a dried
cayenne pepper.

- Got it.
- Great.

I had a Latina
come with us,

and this is her famous
mole Maria.

No shit,
I have never seen

anything so pretty.

Mm-mm. Not in this kitchen,
you haven't.

I got to
document this

before we go
and ruin it.

Now I remember
why I don't cook.

It's hard with no help.

Yeah. It's always
just been...

her and me.

Where's your husband?

I never had that.

- You?
- Oh, she passed away.

Oh, shit.

Oh, we were separated
before that.

Oh.

I was a good leader of men
and a bad companion of women.

I'm like you.

I'm... I'm a bad
companion to men.

You're a good leader
of women.

Tatiana has
tremendous potential.

No one's ever said that
to me before.

Then no one's been
paying attention.

I don't know
what it is about you,

but you just make me
want to be better.

- Good night, General Vincent.
- Good night, Miss Miles.

You're not actually
going to eat this crap?

I happen to like
my tacos, bitch.

Oh, how very "street" of you.
I'd rather eat antifreeze.

- You mean "drink."
- Whatever, brain surgeon.

What are you doing?

- Cutting.
- You can't just cut.

Why not?
You do it.

Go back, maxi pad.

I don't use maxi pads,
reject.

Oh, my God. What...
What is she doing?

Uggh!

Here's some ketchup
for your salad.

She totally
Red Lobster'ed you.

Chiv, help me up!

No, you're covered
in nastiness.

Whale tails are the opiates
of the masses!

Oohh....

All right, Teddy,

just count backwards
from 10.

Ten, nine...

Okay.

You said you wanted things to
go back to the way they were.

Right now?

This is the way
things were.

Mm, Dr. Charles.

Oh.

Oh, put your tongue
all over me.

Oh, yeah.
Oh, you're such a man.

Coalition forces
are still searching for clues

to the whereabouts
of Anton Vincent.

Get down! Stay down!

- Stay!
- Don't move! Don't move!

Stay on the ground.
Stay down.

- Why do you have this?
- Stay on the ground.

Why do you have this?
Where'd you get it?

Hey, where'd you get it?
Where'd you get this?

Donde esta?
You guys speak Spanish?

Anton Vincent?

You're back early.

Tough day.
All that jazz.

Look.

I fixed the tap.
No drip.

What do you say

you and I go out
for a couple drinks

and just laugh
our asses off?

Well, I wouldn't want to
put you in any danger.

We'll go somewhere
no one will recognize you.

This is the only place
Charles ever brought me

because he knew his wife
wouldn't show up.

Can you believe it?

Here. Try again.

Oh. At last.

- Well.
- Well, you get an automatic 6.

- How was his game?
- Charles?

He sucked
worse than you.

I always had to miss
on purpose.

Sometimes I wish
I could be a lesbian, you know?

Like, I have spent

my whole life chasing men,

like they're gonna come in
and fix all my problems.

They're men.
I mean, think about it.

There are no girl rapists
or serial killers...

except for that one chick
they made a movie about,

but that doesn't count,
'cause she looked like a dude.

When was the last time
you heard

about a woman
child molester?

Hmm? I mean, like,
when there's an Amber Alert,

are they ever looking
for a 5'2" blonde

driving a VW Bug? No!

Because women don't have
that whole power trip deal.

I mean, there's never even been
a lady dictator, has there?

Some women who
married dictators

carried on after
their husband died.

But, I mean, I agree with you.
Men have written history,

not always justly.

Women who feel
like you do

should take power.

And if they do better,

I'd be the first
to applaud.

- You're right.
- Wait.

- What?
- Behind you,

by the children's
toddler ride.

Someone
is watching us.

What do we do?

Drop your club.

I paid three cents
for that on Amazon,

plus the shipping
and handling.

That should be read
by every military leader.

Just be careful ordering stuff
on the Internet, okay?

Now is the time, you know,

to expand your power base,

bring your teachers
under your yoke...

oh, and the, uh,

the boy in the garage.

- Denny?
- You have emotion for him.

- He could be a threat.
- Wait. No, no, no.

First off, I don't have
any emotions for Denny.

Let's get that straight.
Second, he's too scared

of his dad to be
a threat to anyone.

- He's afraid of his father?
- Yeah.

His dad's, like
a superhero-level Christian.

I mean, like, he would ground
him for life if he found out

that he had sex with Sarvia.

Well, you should
expose him, then.

No. I could never do that.

I mean, okay, I am pissed
at him for being an idiot,

but that would be
way too harsh.

That's why you do it.

Making them fear you
is just as good,

if not better,
than making them love you.

Aren't you supposed
to be focusing

on your own revolution
right now?

I mean, your men
aren't exactly punctual.

Are you questioning

the loyalty of my men?

No, I-I just thought,
like, maybe you had

your own problems
to deal with.

They are bivouacking
in the mountains,

and I could get a communique
from them at any hour.

Okay. You don't have to
get all hissy.

I get it.

Please,

Father,

relieve my burden.

Dennis, get
your heinie down here

and wash these dishes.

Coming.
Just saying my prayers.

Who wins the human race?

I do.

♪ That girl thinks she's
the queen of the neighborhood ♪

Where'd you get that?

- Good one.
- I'm serious.

You forwarded it.
To everyone.

Where's Denny?

Probably digging
his own grave.

What?

Denny,
I didn't do it.

You were supposed to be

the only other person
who saw it.

Do you realize
what a bag of crap

my life is about
to turn into?

I'm sorry.

Anton, open up!

I told you not to mess with
Denny, and you did it anyway.

You cyber-bullied him.

That's, like, the worst thing
you can do to someone!

Oh, I can think
of a few worse things.

- He thinks I did it.
- You should have.

"Conscience doth make
cowards of us all."

That's Hamlet.
A leader for the ages.

Who got assassinated.

Yes. A noble end.

- Screw you!
- You too.

Pick up.

Hi, Denny, it's me.

Look, I swear
I did not leak that video.

You have no idea how insane
it is over here.

Please, please, please
call me back, okay? Bye.

Mom, did you hear that?

Anton, what's that noise?

There you go.

Anton, no!

What are you doing?

- He was spying on me.
- Are you milk-boarding him?

Well, I'm-I'm procuring
information.

- He's a government agent.
- I know this guy.

Mr. Spines?

Mr. Spines? This is
my social studies teacher!

Damn it.

I'm sorry! I'm not a spy!

I'm not a spy!
I'm not a spy!

I was concerned about Tatiana.

I thought there might be
some trouble at home,

so I called Child Protective
Services, and they told me...

Wait a minute. You called
Child Services on me?!

Well, no. Well, yeah.

No, I thought when you refused
to discuss the situation,

I thought it was a red flag,
so I just...

But now I can see everything...

No, everything's
perfectly normal.

- You were spying on me?
- What? Take my camera.

I'll tear up the report!
It's all good!

Mom, no! Mom, stop it!

Mom, wait! Stop, stop!

Have you gone
completely bat-shit!

You think I'm a bad mother?
I'm a seriously bad mother!

I'm sorry.
I've gotten the wrong man.

What the hell is wrong
with you people!

Fraud.

Excuse me?

I didn't hear
what you said.

You are a fraud.

A fraud is someone
who is pretending to be

something he isn't.

I am what I am...

a man with a past,
and certainly

a man with a future.

Yeah.

Torturing innocent dudes
in suburbia.

What an awesome future.

It's better that
a man loses his head

than a country
loses a war.

What war?

Don't you get it?
The war is over.

The war is never over.

There's no one
left to fight.

What are you gonna do,
blow up my school?

I am a rebel,
and I will keep going

until someone stops me.

You think you're
going to be that someone?

My daughter Chloe
and I

are estranged.

I can see why.

And she was engaged
to a man

who we suspected
of treason.

A dissident.

A threat to the state.

And my daughter

was in love with him.

So what did you do?

I had him executed,

and my daughter spent
three years in prison.

You must have the courage

to do what you believe in,

even if it hurts

the ones that you love.

Do you have that kind
of courage, Tatiana?

Do you?

That's sad.

I thought you were a rebel,
but you're just a punk.

Some jack-wagon
egged our house.

It has been decades
since these island people

have seen a free
and fair election.

Turnout at the polls
is said to be 90%,

and the mood on the streets
is jubilant.

It's almost as if
the outcome doesn't matter,

as long as Anton Vincent
isn't the winner.

You want some brekkie?
We have, like,

six different kinds
of sugar cereal,

and doughnuts.

These ones
are really good.

Oh, we got a lot left too.

Anton?

Anton!

Anton, stop!

Anton! Anton!

Anton! Anton, stop!

Anton!

Hi.

I am so sorry.
I did not mean that.

- It's okay.
- I am such a klutz.

- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.

- I am really sorry.
- It's fine.

Dude, he's gonna jump!

Who's jumping? Who's jumping?

- Denny.
- Denny?

He's gonna jump!

Denny!

I have broken divine law!

I have disobeyed my Father.

- Denny, get down.
- I realize that by taking

my own life, I am committing
a second mortal sin.

That's okay.

The left leg of hell
is too good for me.

I want to go all the way
to the stomach,

where the worst people go!

Denny, stop!

No!

What is wrong with you?
Stop it!

Ow! Ow!

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Ow. This hurts.

Ow! My legs, uh,
I think they're broken.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Somebody call 911.

What's with all the hoopla?

Denny tried to kill himself.
He jumped off the roof.

Of the school?

That's not even
two stories.

Yeah, that's why he didn't die.
He just broke a bunch of bones.

- Not the sharpest knife, is he?
- Mom, stop.

- Guess what.
- What?

Anton thinks that
I could actually

become a real dentist.

- Oh, does he?
- Yeah.

Oh.

I guess
in his country,

there's more doctors
per capita than any other

country in the whole world.
Can you believe that?

Yeah, that's 'cause all
the idiots who get rejected

for med school here
go there.

Why do you have to be
such a downer?

Anton thinks that
I can do it, and...

you know, I feel really good
about my knowledge of teeth.

Anton is a liar.

I looked him up
on Wikipedia, okay?

He is not the great
revolutionary he claims to be.

- Don't say that.
- Did you know that he was

handed the job
from his dictator dad?

And this whole rebel thing?
That's bullshit.

He fought one battle
in the mountains

from a helicopter.

Oh, Christ.
I'm not even speeding.

You don't think they're
looking for Anton, do you?

If they tracked his

eight zillion emails,
it wouldn't be a shocker.

I thought you were
being careful.

I was being careful.

He's the one
on the Internet 24-7.

You were supposed
to be helping him.

He doesn't know
the Internet like you do!

If they don't have
their flashers on,

I don't have to
pull over, right?

That's the law, isn't it?
Look it up.

Just pull in
and act normal.

I picked up some ingredients
for fried bananas.

You see, the secret
is in the oil.

- See how it caramelizes?
- Mm-hmm.

Smell it.

Mm.

They're all over the place.

Anton, I told you.

We have to hide you.
Come on.

Oh, my God!
What are we gonna do?

Darlene, I am not
afraid to face them.

They will extradite me,

and my people
will welcome me home.

Please, Anton,
just stay inside.

Mom,
stop it.

I don't want you
to go out there.

Just let him go!
You're gonna get us all killed!

Shh!

Exit the house
with your hands raised.

This is
your final warning.

Come out of the house now.

Sir, he's standing there
with his arms raised!

Ma'am, remain inside.

Well, what more
do you want from him?

We don't want the grandpa,
we want the girl.

What girl?

Tatiana Louise Miles.

- What did you do?
- I didn't do anything.

Come out now,
or we're coming in.

"Check it out, homies.

Hashtag slutbag,

hashtag...

druggie in da houzzz."

That was your email.

Anton said that.

I would never hashtag
in an email.

- No one would.
- Excuse me?

That e-blast was sent from

your daughter's computer.

Well, how do you know
she sent it?

Somebody else
could've sent it.

It's unlikely.

Okay, let's say
she did send it...

which she didn't,
but let's say she did...

is it a crime
to send an email?

That depends on the content.
Two teens in bed?

Both over 18, perv.

And under covers.
You can't even see anything.

Did you know
your daughter secretly

idolized Anton Vincent,
the dictator?

She wrote as many as
five letters to him,

letters she believed
he was answering.

You used
this very computer

to try to contact
Vincent's associates,

known arms dealers.

Your hard drive

shows inquiries
about assault rifles,

shoulder-launched missiles,
anti-aircraft ordnance.

You think
she was gonna use

anti-aircraft ordnance
on the school?

It's possible.
There were battle plans

in your garage,
detailing

a revolution against
teachers and students.

No, that was a social
revolution,

like in Mean Girls?

Miss Miles,

I love Mean Girls
as much as the next guy.

I wish to God
we could go back to a time

when Regina George
on diet pills was scary,

but those days
are gone forever.

The Plastics aren't
a threat we care about.

Plastic explosives...

now, that's a threat.

So, tell us,

are you hiding weaponry?

No. I don't have
any weaponry.

You surfed a Web site
called "Commando Wholesale."

You bid on, and won,

a used Soviet T-72 tank!

What are you hiding,
little girl?

- Not a tank.
- You're hiding something!

What is it?

This is Detective Spano.

You got anything solid?

We got nothing.

Nothing here.

- We're out of here.
- You're free to go,

but that doesn't mean
you're free.

- We'll be watching you.
- Yeah.

You heard what they said.
Come on.

I am hiding something.

- Assault rifles.
- Shoulder-launched missiles.

I'm not hiding weapons,
you morons.

I'm hiding a man.
No, Mom, I'm doing this!

No, my daughter, she's under
duress, and she doesn't know...

Anton Vincent has been
living in our house.

No! Don't listen to her.
You said it yourself...

She believes that he's writing
her letters. She's delusional!

You're the one
who's delusional, Mom!

Can't you see that
he wants us to turn him in?

You can't see
what he's capable of,

because you're totally
in love with him!

I am not in love with him!

What do you think?
He's gonna move in,

he's gonna fix
all the broken shit,

he's gonna screw you
and ask you to marry him?

Shut up!

Um,

you still got a 20
on the grandpa?

Wow.
This is a lot nicer

than the rehab center
my mom went to.

Yeah, it's pretty nice.

So, he told them that
he was holding us hostage,

and he forced me to do things
I would never do,

so basically,
they dropped the charges.

Sounds like
an upstanding dude.

Kinda,
for a dictator.

So, um,

about Sarvia...

Yeah. I'm an idiot.

Um, listen,

if you really liked her,
she seems like a nice girl,

and maybe I didn't
give her a chance.

You gave her a chance.

And she's not so awesome.

Did I wreck everything?

If there ever was a chance
for me and you,

did I blow it?

No.

But maybe we should
take it slow,

you know,
see where it all goes.

- Slow's good.
- Yeah.

- Ow.
- Sorry.

- Kidding.
- Okay.

They're not torturing you
or anything, are they?

Only the food.
It's worse than your mother's.

"I am tied to the stake,

but I stand by the cause."

Hamlet.

King Lear.

More apropos.

- Ah.
- This might help.

Delicious.

I wrote to my daughter.

I only did it
because of you.

I'm the one
who turned you in.

I know.

Well, I mean, it's your fault.
You're the one

who told me to stand up
for what I believe in.

I'm proud of you, Tatiana.

Why?

Because you became a rebel.

You found your voice.

Use it wisely.

How'd it go?

Did I do the right thing?

Not that I have any
experience with it, but...

if it was hard, it was
probably the right thing.

I got to make a stop.

- Where?
- Charles.

Seriously? You're NOT making me
spy on him again. I'm not...

Pipe down. It's a different
kind of mission.

Okay, Sharon,
everything's looking...

- Charles?
- Darlene!

You said you didn't want
the Saturday...

I don't want any shift.

I'm here to quit.

FYI, your dentist here,
he likes to suck feet.

Anton Vincent was extradited
to his homeland today.

Charged with crimes
against humanity,

the one-time strongman will
face a military tribunal.

A coup forced
Papa Vincent,

as he was known,
into exile.

He fled to the United States
but was captured

when his mother-daughter
hostages managed to escape.

On Scene Now News is live

with reaction.

You girls have been through
a huge ordeal.

Do you care to comment?

It's been completely
life-changing.

I honestly think
I have PTSD.

You'd think the leader of
a country wouldn't cyber-bully,

but, like,
he totally did.

You know, he seemed like
a pretty nice guy,

until he did this
to my fichus.

Oh, you don't even want
to see my lawn.

And I think he stole
my lawn mower.

Come on.

Let's eat.

Mole Maria,

in honor of him.

Hmm. This actually
isn't half bad.

A compliment.

Relax.
All I said was,

"Isn't half bad."

Not half bad...

is half good,

so I'll take it
as a compliment.

I guess your pal
got his pen back.

There's one for you too.

Subtitles by explosiveskull