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1
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- sync and corrections by Mr. C -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:04,743
_
3
00:00:09,433 --> 00:00:10,432
(gasps)
4
00:00:15,977 --> 00:00:17,910
(school bell ringing)
5
00:00:20,381 --> 00:00:21,614
(burps)
6
00:00:21,649 --> 00:00:23,616
(tires screech)
7
00:00:23,651 --> 00:00:25,618
D'oh!
8
00:00:25,653 --> 00:00:27,593
(tires screeching)
9
00:00:37,797 --> 00:00:41,098
♪ ♪
10
00:00:44,437 --> 00:00:46,871
(Strauss' "Also Sprach
Zarathustra" playing)
11
00:00:59,552 --> 00:01:01,952
(clacking)
12
00:01:24,977 --> 00:01:26,977
(alarm wailing)
13
00:01:30,316 --> 00:01:32,616
(alarm stops)
14
00:01:36,122 --> 00:01:37,488
(gulping)
15
00:01:37,523 --> 00:01:39,724
(whoops)
16
00:01:39,759 --> 00:01:41,726
- Simpson.
- Uh-oh. The boss.
17
00:01:41,761 --> 00:01:43,728
Do you know what you've done?
18
00:01:43,763 --> 00:01:47,231
You won the Count the Buttons
in the Button Jar Challenge.
19
00:01:47,266 --> 00:01:49,567
Thanks to him, you all get
the rest of the day off.
20
00:01:49,602 --> 00:01:51,900
(chuckles) Go home.
21
00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:54,870
Live your lives. Don't look back.
22
00:01:54,905 --> 00:01:56,638
Smithers, the bodies.
23
00:01:56,673 --> 00:01:58,640
(beeping)
24
00:01:58,675 --> 00:02:02,210
("James Bond Theme" playing)
25
00:02:02,246 --> 00:02:04,980
I had a great day, and I really
want to celebrate with the boys.
26
00:02:05,015 --> 00:02:07,582
So don't wait up for me, my sweet,
27
00:02:07,618 --> 00:02:10,418
wonderful bartender, Moe.
28
00:02:10,454 --> 00:02:12,154
All right, but who's the boys?
29
00:02:12,189 --> 00:02:15,190
Marge's boobs. See ya.
30
00:02:15,225 --> 00:02:17,359
(rapping): ♪ I'm so happy ♪
31
00:02:17,394 --> 00:02:20,162
♪ Bursting with joy, my
day's been spectacular ♪
32
00:02:20,197 --> 00:02:23,832
♪ Improving my vernacular,
eating Cracker Jack-ular ♪
33
00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:26,568
♪ It's a perfect day so far... ♪
34
00:02:26,603 --> 00:02:29,571
Patty and Selma's car?! D'oh!
35
00:02:29,606 --> 00:02:32,007
Homie, stop dropping
rhymes and get dressed.
36
00:02:32,042 --> 00:02:35,877
We're going to the 38th
annual DMV Awards.
37
00:02:35,913 --> 00:02:37,712
Aw, there are too many award shows.
38
00:02:37,748 --> 00:02:39,548
People don't deserve so many awards.
39
00:02:39,583 --> 00:02:42,584
People suck. They should just
be grateful to be alive.
40
00:02:42,619 --> 00:02:45,420
Get your best coffin suit,
'cause you're goin'.
41
00:02:45,455 --> 00:02:47,189
(groans) You're at table one,
42
00:02:47,224 --> 00:02:50,025
next to the bathroom,
furthest from the bar.
43
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:53,028
Patty and Selma are producing
the Surlys this year.
44
00:02:53,063 --> 00:02:55,030
Hamilton's gonna win everything.
45
00:02:55,065 --> 00:02:57,432
Fred Hamilton. Window six.
46
00:02:57,467 --> 00:02:59,935
He can make every person in the room
47
00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:03,271
feel like their number is the
furthest from being called.
48
00:03:03,307 --> 00:03:05,173
(laughing)
49
00:03:06,743 --> 00:03:10,445
You know, Selma, James Bond
has a license to kill.
50
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,547
HOMER: Stop forcing banter!
51
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:16,284
But a lot of people would
kill for these licenses.
52
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,787
HOMER: Heckle! Heckle!
53
00:03:18,822 --> 00:03:20,789
For Funniest Vanity Plate,
54
00:03:20,824 --> 00:03:24,459
the nominees are I Heart Heart Doctors,
55
00:03:24,494 --> 00:03:26,628
from the writing team of...
56
00:03:26,663 --> 00:03:28,263
A team?!
57
00:03:28,298 --> 00:03:30,665
♪ ♪
58
00:03:32,269 --> 00:03:33,835
- Beep-beep, beep-beep.
- Beep-beep, beep-beep.
59
00:03:33,870 --> 00:03:36,838
Objects may be sexier than they appear.
60
00:03:36,873 --> 00:03:38,406
(growls)
61
00:03:38,442 --> 00:03:39,641
That's it. I'm leaving.
62
00:03:39,676 --> 00:03:41,576
Take me! You'd slow me down!
63
00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:44,246
Lisa Simpson here,
covering the Surly Awards
64
00:03:44,281 --> 00:03:47,449
for Springfield Elementary
School Radio, WSES.
65
00:03:47,484 --> 00:03:49,784
Ooh, here comes an audience member now.
66
00:03:49,820 --> 00:03:52,854
One guy in the In Memoriam reel
was alive when it started!
67
00:03:52,889 --> 00:03:54,623
Don't forget your gift bag!
68
00:03:54,658 --> 00:03:57,025
It's just a coupon for a
dollar off at the car wash,
69
00:03:57,060 --> 00:03:58,860
but if you don't have one,
the lady at the car wash
70
00:03:58,895 --> 00:04:01,363
will give you one from out of a drawer!
71
00:04:01,398 --> 00:04:03,198
- (tires screech)
- Homie, come back!
72
00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:04,976
You're the next presenter!
73
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,945
The winner is me 'cause I'm leaving!
74
00:04:07,337 --> 00:04:09,537
Stomach filled with rage.
75
00:04:09,573 --> 00:04:12,307
Must quench with French fries.
76
00:04:14,244 --> 00:04:15,810
Five Krusty Burgers. No tomato.
77
00:04:15,846 --> 00:04:18,813
Sorry, sir. We no longer
serve Krusty Burgers.
78
00:04:18,849 --> 00:04:22,617
But it's your name! It's as
if Macy's didn't sell Mace!
79
00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:25,186
Our corporate parent in Kumamoto, Japan,
80
00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:29,891
has instituted the following fun
and nonnegotiable changes...
81
00:04:31,862 --> 00:04:35,630
Hey, hey! Try our Buttermilk
Sriracha Sandwich,
82
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:38,133
Kobe Shiitake Ciabatta Explosion,
83
00:04:38,168 --> 00:04:41,303
and Hanoi Honey Barbecue
Banh Mi Pho-furter.
84
00:04:41,338 --> 00:04:44,139
Get 'em quick, before they're Sai-gone!
85
00:04:44,174 --> 00:04:45,840
(laughs)
86
00:04:45,876 --> 00:04:47,909
Oh, I just want a one-pound burger
87
00:04:47,944 --> 00:04:50,645
that a snake couldn't
fit its mouth around.
88
00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:53,315
Sorry. We no longer
sell the Python Buster.
89
00:04:53,350 --> 00:04:57,185
Would you like some Kombucha
Kimchi Mini Tacos instead?
90
00:04:57,220 --> 00:04:58,920
Just give me a cup.
91
00:04:58,955 --> 00:05:00,588
That's beet aioli.
92
00:05:00,624 --> 00:05:02,590
No!
93
00:05:04,245 --> 00:05:07,195
People! Beware! The crap you love to eat
94
00:05:07,230 --> 00:05:09,397
has been replaced by food!
95
00:05:09,433 --> 00:05:10,432
(tires screech)
96
00:05:11,468 --> 00:05:12,767
(tires screech)
97
00:05:15,238 --> 00:05:17,238
♪ ♪
98
00:05:26,083 --> 00:05:29,384
Heavenly Father, I know you're
a friend of the eating man.
99
00:05:29,419 --> 00:05:32,387
You created Sunday so
we can have brunch.
100
00:05:32,422 --> 00:05:35,957
Please, O Lard, shower me
with your divine grease
101
00:05:35,992 --> 00:05:37,959
and deliver me some egg rolls.
102
00:05:37,994 --> 00:05:40,962
Or pizza or hot dogs. Whatever
I can eat while driving.
103
00:05:40,997 --> 00:05:44,466
For thine is the flower
and the gravy forever.
104
00:05:44,501 --> 00:05:46,301
A menu
105
00:05:46,336 --> 00:05:48,703
would be great.
106
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:50,772
♪ ♪
107
00:05:50,807 --> 00:05:52,941
(gasps) Thank you.
108
00:05:55,112 --> 00:05:57,078
Help you?
109
00:05:57,114 --> 00:06:00,515
Um, what's the healthiest
thing in this place?
110
00:06:01,518 --> 00:06:02,951
(whoops)
111
00:06:02,986 --> 00:06:05,553
Chewie, we're home.
112
00:06:05,589 --> 00:06:07,455
Chewie is what I call my mouth.
113
00:06:07,686 --> 00:06:10,365
I really don't care what
you call your mouth.
114
00:06:20,586 --> 00:06:21,885
Ah.
115
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,688
Just in time for breakfast.
116
00:06:24,723 --> 00:06:26,356
Hi, guys.
117
00:06:26,391 --> 00:06:29,192
So, Homie, I'm sure you
have a good explanation
118
00:06:29,228 --> 00:06:31,391
- for where you were.
- The best.
119
00:06:31,555 --> 00:06:34,255
I was eating hot dogs.
120
00:06:34,291 --> 00:06:35,657
Hot dogs? (scoffs)
121
00:06:35,692 --> 00:06:38,259
That is so stupid it must be the truth.
122
00:06:38,295 --> 00:06:41,830
I bet you're picturing me
as a hot dog right now.
123
00:06:41,865 --> 00:06:43,765
Absolutely not!
124
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,634
(chuckles)
125
00:06:45,669 --> 00:06:47,135
And these weren't just any hot dogs...
126
00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:50,038
they were Deuce's Caboose chili dogs!
127
00:06:50,073 --> 00:06:51,606
We were worried sick!
128
00:06:51,642 --> 00:06:52,841
What do you think we are,
129
00:06:52,876 --> 00:06:53,675
man?
130
00:06:53,710 --> 00:06:55,610
Take that.
131
00:06:55,646 --> 00:06:57,345
Ow! No fair!
132
00:06:57,381 --> 00:06:59,114
She nut-butted me.
133
00:06:59,149 --> 00:07:02,117
(chuckles) Deuce's Caboose, eh?
134
00:07:02,152 --> 00:07:04,619
We used to take you there
when you were a boy.
135
00:07:04,655 --> 00:07:06,354
I don't remember any of that.
136
00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:09,457
Well, you were young then,
and you're stupid now.
137
00:07:09,493 --> 00:07:12,627
Your mom and me dropped you off
there every Wednesday afternoon
138
00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:15,530
while we tuned up our marriage.
139
00:07:15,634 --> 00:07:16,485
Turn here.
140
00:07:16,486 --> 00:07:18,968
Oh, you just love to tell me what to do.
141
00:07:19,002 --> 00:07:22,391
We come here every week,
and you get lost.
142
00:07:22,393 --> 00:07:25,527
- Please stop fighting.
- Oh, you would just love it
143
00:07:25,563 --> 00:07:27,162
if we did that, wouldn't you?
144
00:07:34,939 --> 00:07:40,309
He'll take a small soda and
sit there for 50 minutes.
145
00:07:43,848 --> 00:07:46,949
Hey, kid, have a chili dog,
146
00:07:46,984 --> 00:07:48,384
on the house.
147
00:07:48,419 --> 00:07:51,921
If we split up, no one gets Homer!
148
00:07:54,759 --> 00:07:57,593
("Flower Duet" playing)
149
00:08:10,308 --> 00:08:13,976
That's when I started
eating my emotions.
150
00:08:14,011 --> 00:08:16,845
Oh. You poor guy.
151
00:08:16,881 --> 00:08:18,514
Fat-man begins.
152
00:08:18,549 --> 00:08:21,183
Well, it taught me a great coping skill.
153
00:08:21,218 --> 00:08:24,620
Eating is to me what drinking is to me.
154
00:08:24,655 --> 00:08:27,790
(chuckles) I just wish I had
something aggravating in my life
155
00:08:27,825 --> 00:08:29,191
to make me hungry now.
156
00:08:29,226 --> 00:08:30,993
Hello! (gasps)
157
00:08:31,028 --> 00:08:35,164
Uh, Homie, Patty and Selma
lost their jobs at the DMV,
158
00:08:35,199 --> 00:08:37,933
because they spent too
much on the award show.
159
00:08:37,969 --> 00:08:40,269
We went over the $43 budget.
160
00:08:40,304 --> 00:08:42,504
By $100,000.
161
00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:46,342
To save money, I said they
could live here for a while.
162
00:08:46,377 --> 00:08:49,278
And don't forget, we have
a baby and an iguana.
163
00:08:49,313 --> 00:08:51,280
And they both have
different sleep schedules.
164
00:08:51,315 --> 00:08:53,882
What they do have in common is diarrhea.
165
00:08:53,918 --> 00:08:56,418
And we forgot to bring diapers.
166
00:08:57,922 --> 00:09:01,290
Hey. You remember me as a kid, right?
167
00:09:01,325 --> 00:09:02,558
No, sir.
168
00:09:02,593 --> 00:09:05,561
But you called me your
"Little H-Dog," remember?
169
00:09:05,596 --> 00:09:07,563
Look, man, I'm getting up there.
170
00:09:07,598 --> 00:09:09,832
I can barely remember
the starting lineup
171
00:09:09,867 --> 00:09:12,901
of the 1961 Chicago Blackhawks.
172
00:09:12,937 --> 00:09:15,671
Uh, Bobby Hull; Al Arbour;
173
00:09:15,706 --> 00:09:17,673
Ed Litzenberger, captain;
174
00:09:17,708 --> 00:09:20,409
Stan Mikita; and... that's all.
175
00:09:20,444 --> 00:09:22,644
Also, Dollard St. Laurent.
176
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,146
But not you.
177
00:09:24,181 --> 00:09:26,915
I'm sorry, sir.
178
00:09:32,957 --> 00:09:34,223
MARTIN: Okay, people,
179
00:09:34,258 --> 00:09:35,724
what have you got? We're being killed
180
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,393
in the ratings by the
morning announcements.
181
00:09:37,428 --> 00:09:38,894
SKINNER: Attention,
182
00:09:38,929 --> 00:09:41,397
the bus that took 30
kids on a "field trip"
183
00:09:41,432 --> 00:09:43,332
was not from this school.
184
00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:46,502
If anyone's mom can go pick
up 30 students in Chinatown,
185
00:09:46,537 --> 00:09:48,837
it would be much appreciated.
186
00:09:48,873 --> 00:09:51,073
Why didn't we break that story?!
187
00:09:51,108 --> 00:09:55,077
Damn it, we're even being
beaten by Jimbo's podcast.
188
00:09:55,112 --> 00:09:57,513
Today on Left, Right & Center,
we'll discuss whether
189
00:09:57,548 --> 00:10:00,082
to punch someone in the
left, right, or center.
190
00:10:00,117 --> 00:10:01,917
Our special guest today
191
00:10:01,952 --> 00:10:05,254
is upside-down nerd,
Milhouse Van Houten.
192
00:10:05,289 --> 00:10:07,523
Thanks for having me back.
193
00:10:07,558 --> 00:10:09,758
Aren't we just supposed
to do the stories we want
194
00:10:09,794 --> 00:10:11,927
and not worry about ratings?
195
00:10:11,962 --> 00:10:13,695
That's kindergarten talk.
196
00:10:13,731 --> 00:10:16,932
This is professional fourth-grade radio.
197
00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:18,467
(knocking)
198
00:10:18,502 --> 00:10:19,935
Meeting's over.
199
00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:22,037
I've got to put the balls back in.
200
00:10:22,073 --> 00:10:24,506
I'm the smartest ball in the bag.
201
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:28,377
You could be replaced,
and it wouldn't be hard.
202
00:10:28,412 --> 00:10:30,045
A cinder block with a stretched-out belt
203
00:10:30,081 --> 00:10:31,980
would do the trick.
204
00:10:33,651 --> 00:10:35,084
(engine revving, tires squealing)
205
00:10:35,119 --> 00:10:37,486
♪ ♪
206
00:10:49,366 --> 00:10:51,266
No one's eating at my place.
207
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:53,168
No one!
208
00:10:53,204 --> 00:10:56,905
I'm a self-hating chew.
209
00:10:56,941 --> 00:10:59,741
♪ Hot dog! ♪
210
00:10:59,777 --> 00:11:02,277
♪ Life is tasting pretty good ♪
211
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:04,746
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
212
00:11:04,782 --> 00:11:07,649
♪ Hot dog ♪
213
00:11:07,685 --> 00:11:10,419
♪ 'Cause you love me like you should ♪
214
00:11:10,454 --> 00:11:12,521
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
215
00:11:12,556 --> 00:11:15,124
♪ So put some mustard on my roll ♪
216
00:11:15,159 --> 00:11:17,359
♪ 'Cause you're barking up my soul ♪
217
00:11:17,394 --> 00:11:19,561
♪ Hot dog ♪
218
00:11:19,597 --> 00:11:21,630
- ♪ I like to see you walk ♪
- ♪ Beef log ♪
219
00:11:21,665 --> 00:11:22,965
♪ I like to hear you talk ♪
220
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,167
- ♪ Food blog ♪
- ♪ I really relish you ♪
221
00:11:25,202 --> 00:11:27,369
- What rhymes with relish?
- ♪ Who could embellish you? ♪
222
00:11:27,404 --> 00:11:30,038
- (Homer whoops)
- BOTH: ♪ Hot dog ♪
223
00:11:30,074 --> 00:11:32,441
- ♪ Hot dog ♪
- ♪ Hot dog ♪
224
00:11:32,476 --> 00:11:34,343
♪ Hot dog ♪
225
00:11:34,378 --> 00:11:36,178
♪ Don't know what's inside of you ♪
226
00:11:36,213 --> 00:11:37,813
♪ Hot dog! ♪
227
00:11:37,848 --> 00:11:41,216
(laughter)
228
00:11:41,252 --> 00:11:46,155
Ah. I still don't remember you, man.
229
00:11:46,190 --> 00:11:47,956
LISA: Here at Springfield Elementary,
230
00:11:47,992 --> 00:11:50,225
detention has many names.
231
00:11:50,261 --> 00:11:53,629
Purgatraz, The Skinner
Sheraton, Spitball Alley,
232
00:11:53,664 --> 00:11:56,064
The Bully Pen, 311 Worth,
233
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,966
Little Devil's Island
234
00:11:58,002 --> 00:11:59,735
and Dead Man Chalking.
235
00:11:59,770 --> 00:12:04,206
And I am here with the legendary
Nurple Purpler Nelson Muntz.
236
00:12:04,241 --> 00:12:07,209
Yo. Nelson, let me get right to it.
237
00:12:07,244 --> 00:12:08,810
Haw-haw!
238
00:12:08,846 --> 00:12:11,213
Where did that come from?
239
00:12:11,248 --> 00:12:14,249
Um... wow. First of all, great question.
240
00:12:14,285 --> 00:12:17,419
I guess I just saw a jerk
doing something lame,
241
00:12:17,454 --> 00:12:19,988
and I wanted to make the
dope feel like a dingus.
242
00:12:20,024 --> 00:12:24,426
Well, Mr. Muntz, I just happen
to have one of those "dingi"
243
00:12:24,461 --> 00:12:26,562
right here.
244
00:12:26,597 --> 00:12:29,598
Milhouse, how does it feel
to get a full Nelson?
245
00:12:29,633 --> 00:12:31,667
The first haw isn't that bad.
246
00:12:31,702 --> 00:12:34,503
But the second one is devastating.
247
00:12:34,538 --> 00:12:37,206
Wow! Wow!
248
00:12:37,241 --> 00:12:40,342
Sorry, Lisa. Funding has run
out for our radio station.
249
00:12:40,377 --> 00:12:42,678
I'm, uh, gonna have to
take back your hat.
250
00:12:42,713 --> 00:12:45,013
What?! Jeff and Becky broke up!
251
00:12:45,049 --> 00:12:48,784
Just before the story of the year!
252
00:12:52,590 --> 00:12:54,389
What's wrong, sweetie?
253
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,525
They took away my radio station,
254
00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:00,796
which was the only source
of news in a 50-foot area.
255
00:13:00,831 --> 00:13:03,265
You could come with me
to the hot dog stand
256
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:05,767
and do the word search
on the kids' menu.
257
00:13:05,803 --> 00:13:07,603
Do they have diagonals?
258
00:13:07,638 --> 00:13:12,140
Diagonals! That's where
"race car" was hiding.
259
00:13:14,178 --> 00:13:16,979
Oh, no, the hot dog stand is closed!
260
00:13:17,014 --> 00:13:20,082
The place I forgot for 30 years is gone!
261
00:13:23,087 --> 00:13:25,454
There's always a weak link.
There's always a weak link!
262
00:13:25,489 --> 00:13:26,888
(groaning)
263
00:13:26,924 --> 00:13:28,957
We should help that man. He's choking.
264
00:13:28,993 --> 00:13:32,094
I remember when you used to
help me when I was choking.
265
00:13:32,129 --> 00:13:34,296
Why don't you ask the
girl at the hiking store?
266
00:13:34,393 --> 00:13:37,370
I gave her my number because
I was ordering boots.
267
00:13:39,047 --> 00:13:42,537
Don't let it be forgot
that on this shining spot
268
00:13:42,539 --> 00:13:45,239
was a place I really ate a lot.
269
00:13:45,670 --> 00:13:50,172
I don't see how you can blame
a man of 97 for retiring.
270
00:13:50,173 --> 00:13:53,073
- I thought we were the same age.
- So did I.
271
00:13:53,075 --> 00:13:56,042
Well, I hope you didn't
sell it to some clown.
272
00:13:59,649 --> 00:14:02,083
(Krusty's theme song playing)
273
00:14:09,626 --> 00:14:11,086
Here's a check.
274
00:14:11,088 --> 00:14:13,392
Welcome to the Krusty Burger family.
275
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,261
And since we're family, we don't talk!
276
00:14:17,329 --> 00:14:18,762
Next problem.
277
00:14:18,797 --> 00:14:21,298
Oh! What else are you gonna change?
278
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:24,768
We're gonna keep everything that
makes Deuce's Caboose great.
279
00:14:24,803 --> 00:14:26,737
Like the hot dogs and the caboose?
280
00:14:26,772 --> 00:14:29,940
No. God, no. We're already
talking to C-list actors
281
00:14:29,975 --> 00:14:31,942
about playing the owner in commercials.
282
00:14:31,977 --> 00:14:34,478
We're trying to find a
cheap Garrett Morris.
283
00:14:34,513 --> 00:14:36,980
(creaking, engine starting)
284
00:14:37,016 --> 00:14:39,583
Hot dogs, come with me
if you want to live!
285
00:14:39,618 --> 00:14:42,819
(engine revving)
286
00:14:42,855 --> 00:14:44,721
Somebody, stop them!
287
00:14:44,757 --> 00:14:47,157
(Krusty's theme song plays in reverse)
288
00:14:52,798 --> 00:14:55,098
That better be a monkey's
tail I'm feeling.
289
00:14:55,134 --> 00:14:57,100
Uh, chimps have no tails.
290
00:14:57,136 --> 00:14:59,503
Chimps have no tails?!
291
00:14:59,538 --> 00:15:01,004
Dad, what are we doing?!
292
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,440
I'm saving a precious childhood memory!
293
00:15:03,475 --> 00:15:05,442
You realize this will
be my childhood memory,
294
00:15:05,477 --> 00:15:07,310
and maybe not so precious?
295
00:15:07,346 --> 00:15:09,312
That's a problem for grownup Lisa.
296
00:15:09,348 --> 00:15:10,781
All right, then.
297
00:15:10,816 --> 00:15:13,216
♪ ♪
298
00:15:17,990 --> 00:15:21,425
I certainly hope that isn't
your father's hot dog caboose.
299
00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:23,860
I have no end game!
300
00:15:23,896 --> 00:15:26,530
Oh, Lord! He's on the news so much,
301
00:15:26,565 --> 00:15:29,132
he has his own theme music now.
302
00:15:29,168 --> 00:15:30,701
♪ Go, Homer, go! ♪
303
00:15:30,736 --> 00:15:33,203
♪ Never know what he's gonna do! ♪
304
00:15:33,238 --> 00:15:34,771
Kent Brockman with you.
305
00:15:34,807 --> 00:15:36,606
You're watching Channel
6 Super Team Coverage
306
00:15:36,642 --> 00:15:40,043
of Chili Dog Day Afternoon
Weiner on a Roll.
307
00:15:40,079 --> 00:15:41,778
Indeed.
308
00:15:41,814 --> 00:15:45,182
Basically, I'm just watching
it like the rest of you.
309
00:15:45,217 --> 00:15:48,351
I guess you'd like some kind
of commentary or perspective.
310
00:15:48,387 --> 00:15:50,721
I don't have any, but I'd
like you to remember
311
00:15:50,756 --> 00:15:53,290
you're watching Channel 6...
the one that doesn't cut away
312
00:15:53,325 --> 00:15:54,691
when somebody dies.
313
00:15:54,727 --> 00:15:56,560
(siren wailing)
314
00:15:56,595 --> 00:16:00,297
Chief Wiggum, maybe I can
defuse the situation.
315
00:16:00,332 --> 00:16:02,065
De-fuse. Huh.
316
00:16:02,101 --> 00:16:04,067
Well, there's a first
time for everything.
317
00:16:04,103 --> 00:16:05,569
Can you hand me your mic?
318
00:16:05,604 --> 00:16:07,204
Every police regulation says "no,"
319
00:16:07,239 --> 00:16:08,872
but do you know what says "yes"?
320
00:16:08,907 --> 00:16:10,373
What? Your eyes.
321
00:16:10,409 --> 00:16:11,942
Aw.
322
00:16:13,679 --> 00:16:16,813
This is Lisa Simpson,
a name you can trust,
323
00:16:16,849 --> 00:16:20,717
and I'm with Homer Simpson, a
man who just stole a caboose.
324
00:16:20,753 --> 00:16:23,019
My father is on quick-sided quest
325
00:16:23,055 --> 00:16:25,722
to save a greasy spoon
from being licked.
326
00:16:25,758 --> 00:16:28,725
I have to save that
caboose full of hot dogs,
327
00:16:28,761 --> 00:16:31,261
which is what my father called me.
328
00:16:35,801 --> 00:16:40,170
This aggression shall not
stand, so let us ride!
329
00:16:40,205 --> 00:16:43,373
Say, Colonel, which army were you in?
330
00:16:43,408 --> 00:16:45,342
Never you mind which army I was in
331
00:16:45,377 --> 00:16:47,377
and which courthouse we surrendered at.
332
00:16:47,412 --> 00:16:49,112
I said let's ride!
333
00:16:52,551 --> 00:16:54,084
I guess that's it...
334
00:16:54,119 --> 00:16:56,620
the one freeway chase
that ends in failure.
335
00:16:56,655 --> 00:16:58,588
No, it has not!
336
00:16:58,624 --> 00:17:00,957
We shall overeat!
337
00:17:02,161 --> 00:17:05,729
(dramatic music playing)
338
00:17:09,601 --> 00:17:12,502
(upbeat instrumental music plays)
339
00:17:14,406 --> 00:17:16,773
(dramatic music playing)
340
00:17:30,088 --> 00:17:32,155
ALL: Yay!
341
00:17:32,191 --> 00:17:33,623
D'oh!
342
00:17:36,195 --> 00:17:38,328
I'm sorry, Dad. It's over.
343
00:17:38,363 --> 00:17:40,797
No, it's not!
344
00:17:40,833 --> 00:17:42,766
(soft squeak)
345
00:17:45,671 --> 00:17:47,337
Krusty, run regular!
346
00:17:47,372 --> 00:17:50,140
I forgot how!
347
00:17:55,113 --> 00:17:57,647
(creaking)
348
00:17:57,683 --> 00:18:00,617
So that's what it's for.
349
00:18:00,652 --> 00:18:04,321
No! I can't let my Little H-Dog die!
350
00:18:04,356 --> 00:18:06,523
(gasps) You do remember me!
351
00:18:06,558 --> 00:18:09,793
I never forgot you! How could I?
352
00:18:09,828 --> 00:18:10,493
(creaking)
353
00:18:10,529 --> 00:18:11,828
You were such a sweet,
354
00:18:11,864 --> 00:18:15,098
sad little boy, and I failed you.
355
00:18:15,133 --> 00:18:17,300
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did!
356
00:18:17,336 --> 00:18:20,270
You needed a father, and
all I could give you
357
00:18:20,305 --> 00:18:23,340
was steamed tubes filled
with chicken asses.
358
00:18:23,375 --> 00:18:26,142
But I love those chicken asses!
359
00:18:26,178 --> 00:18:28,511
I love... you.
360
00:18:28,547 --> 00:18:31,314
(both crying)
361
00:18:31,350 --> 00:18:34,718
Your chili dogs didn't get me
through my childhood. You did!
362
00:18:34,753 --> 00:18:38,688
Suddenly this hot dog-covered
locomotive seems like a joke!
363
00:18:38,724 --> 00:18:40,523
Take my hand, son.
364
00:18:40,559 --> 00:18:43,026
It's strong from turning a can opener.
365
00:18:43,061 --> 00:18:44,794
Your chili was store-bought?!
366
00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:46,696
I didn't say I paid for it.
367
00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:57,540
(explosion)
368
00:18:57,576 --> 00:19:00,310
- Mmm! - Oh, yeah!
- Ooh!
369
00:19:00,345 --> 00:19:02,145
- Oh!
- Ooh, yeah, baby!
370
00:19:02,180 --> 00:19:03,713
You're a hero, Dad!
371
00:19:03,749 --> 00:19:06,349
They're calling you Public
Elephant Number One!
372
00:19:06,385 --> 00:19:07,751
Well, I guess that's better than
373
00:19:07,786 --> 00:19:09,419
"Local Man Cut Out of Dressing Room."
374
00:19:09,789 --> 00:19:12,690
It sure is, Dad. It sure is.
375
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:16,159
Chief, why are you letting him leave?
376
00:19:16,194 --> 00:19:18,828
He just committed a
series of serious crimes.
377
00:19:18,864 --> 00:19:21,898
Forget it, Lou. It's Chili Town.
378
00:19:21,934 --> 00:19:24,367
("Chinatown" theme music plays)
379
00:19:27,873 --> 00:19:30,273
(distant siren wails)
380
00:19:44,279 --> 00:19:47,871
Gentlemen, I'm-a so tired
of all the bad-a blood
381
00:19:47,873 --> 00:19:49,185
between our companies.
382
00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:52,240
Can't we have a peace... of pizza?
383
00:19:52,242 --> 00:19:53,908
What are you doing?
384
00:19:53,944 --> 00:19:55,076
You fools!
385
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,978
I'm a real person in here!
386
00:19:57,013 --> 00:19:58,379
(taps playing)
387
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:05,053
_
27713
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