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1
00:00:02,391 --> 00:00:03,961
Whoa, look out.
2
00:00:07,261 --> 00:00:09,461
Hey, where's our sailboat?
3
00:00:09,501 --> 00:00:12,471
Oh. It really tied
the room together.
4
00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:15,901
Yes. That painting
was great.
5
00:00:15,941 --> 00:00:17,971
Derivative, amateur seascape.
6
00:00:18,011 --> 00:00:21,241
Maybe another animated
show stole it!
7
00:00:21,281 --> 00:00:23,781
We'll see about that!
8
00:00:25,011 --> 00:00:26,981
Or maybe I sold it
on Craigslist.
9
00:00:27,011 --> 00:00:28,651
Both things are
equally possible.
10
00:00:28,681 --> 00:00:30,051
This a TV show,
11
00:00:30,091 --> 00:00:32,891
or did I walk into
a third grade shoebox diorama?
12
00:00:32,921 --> 00:00:34,521
Did you steal my painting?
13
00:00:40,231 --> 00:00:43,201
Out of the mouths of babes.
14
00:00:43,231 --> 00:00:46,671
♪ We're in the cookies ♪
♪ you hate to eat ♪
15
00:00:46,701 --> 00:00:50,541
♪ An unpleasant surprise ♪
♪ when you trick-or-treat... ♪
16
00:00:50,571 --> 00:00:52,071
Boo! Boo!
17
00:00:53,141 --> 00:00:54,541
Snacks should be bad for you!
18
00:01:08,391 --> 00:01:11,061
Ew, what smells like comic
books and loneliness?
19
00:01:11,091 --> 00:01:14,101
Oh, uh, certainly
not this cool cat.
20
00:01:14,131 --> 00:01:15,701
Nope. That was spot-on.
21
00:01:15,731 --> 00:01:17,271
But today I don't care.
22
00:01:17,301 --> 00:01:19,071
Look what I got!
My painting!
23
00:01:19,101 --> 00:01:21,741
The pièce de résistance
of my memorabilia collection!
24
00:01:21,771 --> 00:01:23,771
Not since I was
the winning bidder
25
00:01:23,801 --> 00:01:26,311
on a Ziploc full of
Jonathan Frakes' beard trimmings
26
00:01:26,341 --> 00:01:27,981
have I been so...
Aw, dang it.
27
00:01:28,011 --> 00:01:30,481
Ooh! Gross! Raisin blood!
28
00:01:35,021 --> 00:01:37,491
Oh, I did it.
29
00:01:37,521 --> 00:01:38,951
Oh,.
30
00:01:45,791 --> 00:01:48,161
Bart and I haven't always been
the best of friends. Aah!
31
00:01:48,201 --> 00:01:50,801
And we're here to tell
you a story of a time
32
00:01:50,831 --> 00:01:52,111
when we really didn't get along.
33
00:01:53,131 --> 00:01:55,101
But we found our way!
34
00:01:55,141 --> 00:01:57,571
And we like each other
better than ever!
35
00:01:57,611 --> 00:02:00,011
Way to spoil the ending,
nerd-burger.
36
00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:02,911
Mmm, nerd-burger.
37
00:02:02,941 --> 00:02:06,011
It all began on the hottest
summer on record. Aah!
38
00:02:06,051 --> 00:02:07,951
After years of pollution
in Springfield Bay,
39
00:02:07,981 --> 00:02:10,191
I am honored to announce
that these waters
40
00:02:10,221 --> 00:02:12,091
are now safe to swim in.
41
00:02:13,621 --> 00:02:17,431
Huzzah for a cleaner
Springfield!
42
00:02:17,461 --> 00:02:19,031
Er, uh, it's not cleaner.
43
00:02:19,061 --> 00:02:21,201
We just lowered
the safety standards.
44
00:02:22,661 --> 00:02:24,201
Yay!
45
00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:30,771
Okay, who's up
for a day at the beach?
46
00:02:30,811 --> 00:02:33,641
I got all the beach I want
with Anzio Beach Invasion.
47
00:02:36,081 --> 00:02:38,981
Pathetic! I was there,
and it was nothing like that.
48
00:02:40,651 --> 00:02:41,681
I surrender!
49
00:02:43,321 --> 00:02:45,891
I'll go in first so they
won't know it's a trap.
50
00:02:46,921 --> 00:02:48,221
Yoink. Yoink.
51
00:02:48,261 --> 00:02:49,821
Movado!
52
00:03:01,941 --> 00:03:03,971
Well, that is the most
disgusting thing
53
00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:05,971
I've ever seen on a beach.
54
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,411
Kind of sad, really.
55
00:03:11,911 --> 00:03:13,211
A booger?
56
00:03:13,251 --> 00:03:16,921
Real mature, guys, real mature.
57
00:03:16,951 --> 00:03:18,221
A booger!
58
00:03:18,251 --> 00:03:21,721
A human booger, indeed.
59
00:03:21,761 --> 00:03:23,491
Dolphin. Weak.
60
00:03:23,521 --> 00:03:25,161
Skull. Cliché.
61
00:03:25,191 --> 00:03:27,331
"I'd rather be fishing."
Not true.
62
00:03:27,361 --> 00:03:28,601
The bone?
63
00:03:29,901 --> 00:03:32,131
That's exactly what I'm bad to.
64
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,301
Hmm.
65
00:03:38,911 --> 00:03:42,711
♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪
♪ if we were older? ♪
66
00:03:42,741 --> 00:03:46,281
♪ Then we wouldn't have ♪
♪ to wait so long ♪
67
00:03:46,311 --> 00:03:50,221
♪ And wouldn't it be nice ♪
♪ to live together ♪
68
00:03:50,251 --> 00:03:55,091
♪ In the kind of world ♪
♪ where we belong? ♪
69
00:03:55,121 --> 00:03:59,361
♪ You know it's gonna make it ♪
♪ that much better... ♪
70
00:03:59,391 --> 00:04:02,061
I'll take it!
71
00:04:11,071 --> 00:04:12,971
Geronimo!
72
00:04:16,441 --> 00:04:18,451
It said "water-resistant."
73
00:04:18,481 --> 00:04:20,211
It resisted nothing!
74
00:04:20,251 --> 00:04:21,751
Whee...!
75
00:04:21,781 --> 00:04:24,451
Whoa! Dope hat!
76
00:04:24,491 --> 00:04:27,091
And check out my gnarly new tat!
77
00:04:27,121 --> 00:04:29,921
No fair!
I'm bad to the bone!
78
00:04:37,531 --> 00:04:39,301
Mmm!
Okay, that's it.
79
00:04:39,331 --> 00:04:41,101
Marge, I'm watching sports!
80
00:04:41,141 --> 00:04:43,001
Really? What's the score?
81
00:04:43,041 --> 00:04:46,141
Uh, the, uh, Boobs
are beating the Butts.
82
00:04:46,171 --> 00:04:49,241
I don't think that's
the official terminology.
83
00:04:50,281 --> 00:04:51,811
Oh!
84
00:04:51,851 --> 00:04:55,151
Maybe you should watch
this sport instead.
85
00:04:55,181 --> 00:04:56,351
Hmm.
86
00:04:56,381 --> 00:04:57,351
Mm-mm-mm.
87
00:04:57,391 --> 00:04:59,391
What do you know?
88
00:05:01,461 --> 00:05:03,161
Checkmate. Ha!
89
00:05:03,191 --> 00:05:06,031
It's the only mate
I haven't buried.
90
00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:09,261
Hey, Blobby Fischer, you're up.
91
00:05:09,301 --> 00:05:11,701
Do you even know
the names of the pieces?
92
00:05:11,731 --> 00:05:13,801
Of course.
There's the King,
93
00:05:13,831 --> 00:05:15,971
Mrs. King,
the Lightbulb Babies,
94
00:05:16,001 --> 00:05:18,471
the Mini Ashtray, Slit Face.
95
00:05:18,511 --> 00:05:21,981
And who could forget
Dr. Horse?
96
00:05:22,011 --> 00:05:23,481
Want to put a 20 on it?
97
00:05:23,511 --> 00:05:25,951
Make it a 22.
98
00:05:28,151 --> 00:05:30,021
Checkmate.
99
00:05:32,351 --> 00:05:36,461
Another victim
of the Budapest Gambit.
100
00:05:36,491 --> 00:05:38,131
How can Dad play chess?
101
00:05:38,161 --> 00:05:40,731
He can't even remember the rules
to Chutes and Ladders.
102
00:05:40,761 --> 00:05:43,501
I do so! You always
think ladders go down.
103
00:05:43,531 --> 00:05:45,131
You can go down a ladder.
104
00:05:45,171 --> 00:05:47,231
Oh, God, not this again.
105
00:05:47,271 --> 00:05:49,694
I go down ladders all the time. Homer,
when did you learn to play chess?
106
00:05:49,701 --> 00:05:52,471
The truth is,
my dad and I used to play.
107
00:06:05,791 --> 00:06:07,821
He won't stop doing it.
108
00:06:07,861 --> 00:06:10,021
That's jive, man.
109
00:06:10,061 --> 00:06:12,991
But I don't want
to talk about it.
110
00:06:19,201 --> 00:06:21,171
Whoa! Sweet lid, Lisa.
111
00:06:21,201 --> 00:06:23,041
Well, I'm bad to the bone.
112
00:06:23,071 --> 00:06:24,841
I see no proof of that.
113
00:06:24,871 --> 00:06:26,571
Oh, yeah? Just look at this.
114
00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:32,211
Haw-haw! Bart's getting
beat up by a beach turkey!
115
00:06:38,721 --> 00:06:40,051
Hmm.
116
00:06:41,421 --> 00:06:42,961
Okay, a few ground rules.
117
00:06:42,991 --> 00:06:45,931
Everything I say,
I want five of.
118
00:06:45,961 --> 00:06:47,931
Five Krusty Burgers...
119
00:06:47,961 --> 00:06:50,061
Got it. Five Krusty Burgers.
120
00:06:50,101 --> 00:06:52,071
No! I thought I was clear.
121
00:06:52,101 --> 00:06:54,071
25 Krusty Burgers!
122
00:06:54,101 --> 00:06:56,401
125 Krusty Burgers?
123
00:06:56,441 --> 00:06:58,941
No! That's not what I...
Fine.
124
00:06:58,971 --> 00:07:02,481
Can I really toss this
thing she's so crazy about?
125
00:07:02,511 --> 00:07:05,151
Damn right I can!
I'm bad to the bone!
126
00:07:15,491 --> 00:07:17,421
Who the hell are you?
127
00:07:17,461 --> 00:07:18,791
I'm your guilt.
128
00:07:18,831 --> 00:07:19,891
I don't have any guilt.
129
00:07:19,931 --> 00:07:21,661
You do now.
130
00:07:21,701 --> 00:07:23,831
Don't worry, Bart.
I'll protect you.
131
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:25,631
I'm denial.
132
00:07:27,331 --> 00:07:28,201
Ay, caramba!
133
00:07:30,524 --> 00:07:33,094
♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪
♪ if we were older? ♪
134
00:07:33,134 --> 00:07:37,064
♪ Then we wouldn't have ♪
♪ to wait so long? ♪
135
00:07:37,104 --> 00:07:39,674
My hat!
136
00:07:48,436 --> 00:07:50,206
Sunny?
137
00:08:05,556 --> 00:08:07,586
Uh, no.
138
00:08:07,616 --> 00:08:09,526
Uh-uh.
139
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:10,686
Oh.
140
00:08:11,856 --> 00:08:13,026
No.
141
00:08:13,056 --> 00:08:14,496
Nope.
142
00:08:14,526 --> 00:08:15,966
Not even close.
143
00:08:21,966 --> 00:08:24,366
Do you have
any more yellow hats?
144
00:08:24,406 --> 00:08:26,936
You mean like the one you
looked really good in?
145
00:08:26,976 --> 00:08:28,976
Yes.
No.
146
00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:31,376
Oh...
147
00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:41,017
You're still here?
No offense, but you look worse.
148
00:08:41,057 --> 00:08:45,027
Your lack of remorse
just makes me grow.
149
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:47,727
Now you're gettin' it.
150
00:08:50,027 --> 00:08:52,967
Ha! Joke's on you...
I like gross things.
151
00:08:52,997 --> 00:08:54,197
Hmm.
152
00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:59,067
Again! Again!
153
00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,907
And that leads to mate
154
00:09:01,937 --> 00:09:03,407
in three!
155
00:09:03,437 --> 00:09:05,907
I've got to say,
it's so exciting
156
00:09:05,947 --> 00:09:08,417
to find out
something new about you.
157
00:09:08,447 --> 00:09:10,587
Hey, I'm full of surprises.
158
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,647
Ooh. Name another.
159
00:09:12,687 --> 00:09:13,857
Actually, that's it.
160
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,157
Tell me something I
don't know about you.
161
00:09:16,187 --> 00:09:18,227
Okay.
162
00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:20,757
Sometimes when I sweep,
I make little sweeping noises
163
00:09:20,797 --> 00:09:22,327
with my mouth.
164
00:09:23,967 --> 00:09:27,197
Oh, here comes the dustpan.
165
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,060
I can't find Sunny anywhere.
166
00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:34,530
Sunny? No!
We got to find Sunny!
167
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:35,760
Where... Wait.
168
00:09:35,790 --> 00:09:37,460
The baby's name is Maggie.
169
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,900
Hey, beach bums.
Man, did I crash last night.
170
00:09:43,940 --> 00:09:46,370
Always sleep well
after riding the waves.
171
00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:48,470
Ah...
172
00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:51,210
Have you seen your sister's hat?
173
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:55,750
Oh, did-did she have a hat?
I-I don't remember any hat.
174
00:09:55,780 --> 00:09:57,780
Her name was Sunny,
and I loved her more
175
00:09:57,820 --> 00:09:59,950
than any girl ever loved a hat!
176
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:03,260
Even Madeline
from the Madeline books?
177
00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:07,260
She only wore that because
it was part of her uniform.
178
00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:09,060
Ask Pepito.
179
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,360
Mmm.
180
00:10:13,870 --> 00:10:18,370
Hey, hey, hey, I do not like
to see that going on in my bar.
181
00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:22,910
Lenny, knight takes queen.
182
00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:24,740
Barney, mate in four.
183
00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:28,510
Homer! You're playing like
Polugaevsky at Mar del Plata.
184
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,190
Yeah, Homer, you're
some kind of a idiot savant.
185
00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:35,420
Hey, I don't come here
to be insulted.
186
00:10:35,450 --> 00:10:37,490
Homer, we're just saying
youse got a special skill,
187
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,930
like a smokin' monkey or
a urinal cake with an ad on it.
188
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,530
Don't tell me you're not
flattered by those analogies.
189
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,170
You guys think you're so hot.
190
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,430
I could fit in a piece
of carry-on luggage.
191
00:10:48,470 --> 00:10:50,470
Oh-ho, I'd like
to see that.
192
00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:57,640
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
193
00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:00,210
Oh, no.
I'm alone with my thoughts.
194
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:02,180
No. No, no, no.
The healthiest thing
195
00:11:02,210 --> 00:11:03,950
is for me to let myself out.
196
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:05,550
Oh, sure thing, pal.
197
00:11:07,350 --> 00:11:09,090
Here you go.
198
00:11:11,390 --> 00:11:13,390
So, Homer, how did you get
so good at chess?
199
00:11:13,430 --> 00:11:15,230
I played against my dad.
200
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:17,260
Uh, was that fun?
201
00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:22,630
It was, until I learned
the pieces weren't licorice.
202
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,970
We played every day
after my mother left us,
203
00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:28,570
and he won every time.
204
00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:32,180
And every time he won,
he laughed that horrible laugh.
205
00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:35,410
Aw, Mona.
206
00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:40,550
So I found a professor
207
00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:42,420
who lived nearby,
208
00:11:42,450 --> 00:11:45,320
a master of the game,
kind, patient,
209
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,030
devoted to me.
210
00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:49,300
I went every day.
211
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,370
You are ready now.
212
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,030
Thanks for the lessons,
Professor.
213
00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:58,400
You remind me of my son.
214
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,070
Oh. Where is he now?
He's...
215
00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:02,610
right over there.
216
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,940
He just doesn't like chess.
217
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:09,120
I went back to play my dad.
218
00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:10,850
We had a beautiful thing here,
219
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,350
and you had to ruin it
by getting good!
220
00:12:13,390 --> 00:12:15,020
No more chess in this house!
221
00:12:15,050 --> 00:12:16,620
But, Dad, it's our thing.
222
00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:18,290
Well, we'll find another thing.
223
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,030
You listen to the radiator
hiss while I drink whiskey
224
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:22,730
under this naked lightbulb.
225
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:29,640
It was a sad life,
but I wasn't affected.
226
00:12:33,910 --> 00:12:35,263
♪ They fight and fight ♪
♪ and fight ♪
227
00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:36,973
♪ Fight, fight, fight, ♪
♪ fight, fight, fight ♪
228
00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:40,080
♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show. ♪
229
00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:43,950
I brought you
more lasagna, cousin.
230
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,980
Mmm.
231
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:50,660
You know these cartoons are made
232
00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:52,820
by exploiting Korean children?
233
00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:55,260
You ruin everything.
234
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,340
Bart? What is it?
235
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,310
Um, listen, I have... I
have to tell you something.
236
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:14,910
I-I was jealous, and
I-I threw your hat away.
237
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,190
Oh, that went a lot better
than I thought.
238
00:13:19,220 --> 00:13:21,290
Why did you do it?
- I don't know.
239
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,160
The important thing is you
got to forgive me right now.
240
00:13:24,190 --> 00:13:25,620
I feel kind of guilty.
241
00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:28,330
Then I hope your guilt
will grow...
242
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,260
and grow...
243
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:32,100
and grow.
244
00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:36,300
And no matter how much
you try to pretty it up...
245
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:40,570
it'll still be the most
hideous thing you could imagine!
246
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,450
Nerds! Get 'em!
247
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,850
A cupcake? Please.
248
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,390
No.
249
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,790
Mm-mm.
250
00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:00,360
So what?
251
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:03,030
I'm truly sorry, Bart,
252
00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:06,700
but it's a wound
nothing can heal.
253
00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:08,800
A bunny and a hammer?
254
00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:11,740
Well, my mom did say
bring home dinner.
255
00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:16,740
Homer, listen, hey,
256
00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:19,040
I got something
very scary to tell you.
257
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,210
Now, I was on this
alt-suicide subreddit,
258
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:22,880
you know,
just-just checking in,
259
00:14:22,910 --> 00:14:25,880
and I found out why you
are so good at chess.
260
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,490
Go on.
261
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:31,690
Chess represents your desire
to kill your father.
262
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,760
What the...?
That's ridiculous!
263
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,260
Now, I'm here to bowl!
264
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,730
You'll end up in the gutter!
265
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,770
Oh, my head!
266
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,070
Oh! I'll sue!
267
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:44,340
I can't afford the copay!
268
00:14:44,370 --> 00:14:46,370
Won't someone reset us!
269
00:14:46,410 --> 00:14:48,370
Well, at least I'm safe.
270
00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:57,280
I'm in luck!
It's still here!
271
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,290
My hat!
272
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,790
Aah! My car!
And my house.
273
00:15:11,654 --> 00:15:14,214
Homer, before you give up,
274
00:15:14,254 --> 00:15:17,454
I Skyped someone who knows
a little bit about chess.
275
00:15:17,494 --> 00:15:19,794
Oh, I don't think
any chess master
276
00:15:19,824 --> 00:15:24,024
or even international master
could understand how I feel.
277
00:15:24,064 --> 00:15:26,964
I'm world chess champion
Magnus Carlsen.
278
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,734
I understand Norwegian!
279
00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:32,404
When I heard a fellow chess
player had a mental problem,
280
00:15:32,434 --> 00:15:33,834
I Skyped at once.
281
00:15:33,874 --> 00:15:35,374
I'm not a chess player anymore.
282
00:15:35,404 --> 00:15:38,044
From now on,
I'm only playing Stratego!
283
00:15:38,074 --> 00:15:40,514
I cannot play Stratego...
I'm scared of the bomb.
284
00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:42,244
Yeah, tell me about it.
285
00:15:42,284 --> 00:15:44,554
Homer, I'm afraid
you cannot run away from chess.
286
00:15:44,584 --> 00:15:46,414
The reason I got into chess
287
00:15:46,454 --> 00:15:48,384
was because
it didn't involve running.
288
00:15:48,424 --> 00:15:51,154
I share your disdain
for exercise.
289
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,394
Now I will say something
with all the emotion
290
00:15:53,424 --> 00:15:55,624
a Norwegian can muster.
291
00:15:58,594 --> 00:16:00,564
To find your true feelings,
292
00:16:00,594 --> 00:16:03,404
you must finish your final
chess match with your father.
293
00:16:03,434 --> 00:16:05,604
I'm sorry,
you cut out for a second.
294
00:16:05,634 --> 00:16:06,704
Did you gasp?
295
00:16:06,734 --> 00:16:08,044
Then you will nod.
296
00:16:08,074 --> 00:16:10,274
Then you will eat
a piece of cheese
297
00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:11,714
while the wife doesn't look.
298
00:16:11,744 --> 00:16:14,374
Then you will undo
the top button of your pants.
299
00:16:14,414 --> 00:16:16,584
I'm always three moves ahead.
300
00:16:18,754 --> 00:16:20,014
D'oh!
301
00:16:20,054 --> 00:16:22,854
Okay, I don't have
to move the cube.
302
00:16:22,884 --> 00:16:25,024
I just have to get the hat out.
303
00:16:25,054 --> 00:16:26,424
Ga-der!
304
00:16:26,454 --> 00:16:28,394
I never thought
I'd sink this low,
305
00:16:28,424 --> 00:16:30,524
but I need help from God.
306
00:16:30,564 --> 00:16:33,564
Let our faith lift up
this cube, Lord.
307
00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:35,564
Huh?
308
00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:37,574
Aw.
309
00:16:37,604 --> 00:16:40,134
Thanks for nothing.
310
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,444
Huh? The soda ate
right through the metal!
311
00:16:49,484 --> 00:16:51,514
I'm just glad I'm not a car.
312
00:16:52,784 --> 00:16:55,324
Ah. I just have to get more.
313
00:16:58,354 --> 00:17:00,094
Hit it, boys!
314
00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:05,664
And... evil
thoughts.
315
00:17:12,374 --> 00:17:14,744
Boys, are you
performing miracles?
316
00:17:14,774 --> 00:17:17,244
Jesus is performing them
through us.
317
00:17:17,274 --> 00:17:18,844
Well, all right, then.
318
00:17:21,444 --> 00:17:24,414
I'm here to play chess,
we're gonna play chess,
319
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:27,114
and not another word!
I play chess?
320
00:17:47,504 --> 00:17:49,504
An excellent move by Homer.
321
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,374
A stout defense by Grampa.
322
00:17:55,484 --> 00:17:57,854
Doesn't anyone want
to watch the Super Bowl?
323
00:17:57,884 --> 00:17:59,814
Get lost!
324
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:02,984
Homer has the win in hand.
325
00:18:03,024 --> 00:18:04,994
He merely needs
to take Grampa's knight.
326
00:18:05,024 --> 00:18:06,624
Oh, he's gonna be a new man.
327
00:18:06,654 --> 00:18:08,494
A new man, you hear me?
328
00:18:08,524 --> 00:18:11,194
Can I go?
It's, like, 4:00 a.m. for me.
329
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:12,334
Sure. Fine.
330
00:18:12,364 --> 00:18:13,694
Uh, who is that guy?
331
00:18:13,734 --> 00:18:16,034
Magnus Carlsen...
my cousin.
332
00:18:26,444 --> 00:18:29,544
Isn't a father
more important than a victory?
333
00:18:29,584 --> 00:18:32,114
I've never really known either.
334
00:18:35,454 --> 00:18:37,654
You resign?!
335
00:18:37,694 --> 00:18:39,894
Dad, Dad, it seems I love you.
336
00:18:39,924 --> 00:18:42,264
Can't you say it seems
you love me, too?
337
00:18:42,294 --> 00:18:43,394
Aw...
338
00:18:43,424 --> 00:18:44,564
my son loves me.
339
00:18:44,594 --> 00:18:46,494
Now I can die in peace.
340
00:18:46,534 --> 00:18:47,394
Really?
341
00:18:47,434 --> 00:18:48,734
Hold your horses!
342
00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:52,434
Lisa! Stupid Lisa!
343
00:18:52,474 --> 00:18:54,504
I've got something to show you!
344
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:55,844
I found Sunny!
345
00:18:55,874 --> 00:18:57,614
I don't want the hat anymore.
346
00:18:57,644 --> 00:19:00,414
What? You really don't have
any choice in the matter.
347
00:19:00,444 --> 00:19:02,244
Here!
I told you,
348
00:19:02,284 --> 00:19:04,084
the wound won't heal.
349
00:19:04,114 --> 00:19:07,354
Your best bet is to forget me
and start fresh with Maggie.
350
00:19:07,384 --> 00:19:10,384
She likes raisins, Bart.
Give her raisins.
351
00:19:18,394 --> 00:19:21,704
♪ Wouldn't it be nice ♪
♪ if we were older? ♪
352
00:19:21,734 --> 00:19:23,534
♪ Then we wouldn't have... ♪
353
00:19:23,564 --> 00:19:26,434
He's trying to be nice.
354
00:19:28,444 --> 00:19:30,544
Now what's your problem?
355
00:19:30,574 --> 00:19:32,744
Oh, shut up! I forgive you!
356
00:19:32,774 --> 00:19:34,074
You forgive me?
357
00:19:35,184 --> 00:19:38,584
Yes. In the right hat,
anything is possible.
358
00:19:40,954 --> 00:19:44,524
Why does everyone feel so good
when I leave?!
359
00:19:50,424 --> 00:19:53,394
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
This will come in handy.
360
00:19:55,204 --> 00:19:56,504
What's going on here?
361
00:19:56,534 --> 00:19:58,174
Bart and I are friends again.
362
00:19:58,204 --> 00:20:00,674
I do some of my best fathering
363
00:20:00,704 --> 00:20:02,474
when I'm not around.
364
00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:05,844
Hey, who are you?
Oh, you'll find out.
365
00:20:05,874 --> 00:20:11,314
Listen, pal, I have plenty of demons.
Get in line.
366
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,514
How you doing?
Drunk!
367
00:20:12,554 --> 00:20:14,284
Hey, I thought you were sloth.
368
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,984
Sloths can be drunk.
369
00:20:17,399 --> 00:20:18,402
So we learned Bart
has a conscience.
370
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:21,222
Haw-haw!
371
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,062
You have a conscience!
372
00:20:23,092 --> 00:20:24,662
Closed set!
373
00:20:24,692 --> 00:20:26,662
My mom's dating your gaffer.
374
00:20:26,702 --> 00:20:28,402
Jack! Is that true?
375
00:20:28,432 --> 00:20:30,232
I'm... not proud of it.
376
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:34,902
You seemed pretty proud when
you ate all our ramen noodles.
377
00:20:40,082 --> 00:20:43,052
Listen, I got to know.
Do you chess guys get groupies?
378
00:20:43,082 --> 00:20:45,082
Homer, I wish you could stop.
379
00:20:45,112 --> 00:20:46,852
These Skypes aren't free.
380
00:20:46,882 --> 00:20:48,252
Yes, they are.
381
00:20:48,282 --> 00:20:50,292
I still don't want
to talk to you.
382
00:21:00,232 --> 00:21:02,872
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
383
00:21:20,982 --> 00:21:21,982
Shh!
26426
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