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1
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The tank itself...
2
00:01:51,022 --> 00:01:53,149
...was unusual in that it was vertical...
3
00:01:53,591 --> 00:01:55,684
...and looked like an old boiler.
4
00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:58,558
inside the tank the subject wore
a heavy glass bubble...
5
00:01:58,629 --> 00:02:02,292
...and you would have thought the whole
contraption uncomfortable to say the least.
6
00:02:02,366 --> 00:02:03,833
it was, however, effective.
7
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:08,265
of the 23 students tested,
only two found the experience unpleasant.
8
00:02:08,873 --> 00:02:10,863
Some even called it exhilarating.
9
00:02:10,941 --> 00:02:13,136
A number of students hallucinated.
10
00:02:13,977 --> 00:02:17,640
Dr. Jessup found the encephalographic
evidence especially interesting.
11
00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:20,975
And one Saturday afternoon, in April 1967...
12
00:02:21,051 --> 00:02:23,747
...he decided to try the experience
for himself.
13
00:03:52,073 --> 00:03:54,564
Arthur. Hey, Arthur.
14
00:03:55,576 --> 00:03:56,838
Are you there?
15
00:03:57,645 --> 00:03:59,078
Can you hear me, Arthur?
16
00:04:01,249 --> 00:04:02,682
Arthur, answer me.
17
00:04:03,985 --> 00:04:06,852
Is that it? You want me
to come in and get you out?
18
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,786
i want to get a look at those EEG tracings.
19
00:05:03,642 --> 00:05:04,904
How do you feel?
20
00:05:05,277 --> 00:05:06,539
Not bad.
21
00:05:06,912 --> 00:05:08,903
I hallucinated like a son of a bitch.
22
00:05:09,415 --> 00:05:12,077
A variety of dream states,
mystical states...
23
00:05:12,718 --> 00:05:14,913
...a lot of religious allegory,
mostly out of Revelation.
24
00:05:14,987 --> 00:05:17,148
You were in there close to five hours.
25
00:05:17,390 --> 00:05:18,414
It felt like an hour.
26
00:05:18,491 --> 00:05:20,152
I'd like to try that myself sometime.
27
00:05:20,226 --> 00:05:21,750
You should. You'll like it.
28
00:05:25,498 --> 00:05:27,227
Did we have any communication?
29
00:05:27,566 --> 00:05:30,194
Sure. I kept checking you out
like you told me to.
30
00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:32,267
How did I respond?
31
00:05:33,172 --> 00:05:35,663
Very orderly.
At one point you were crying.
32
00:05:36,075 --> 00:05:37,302
You mean, actually crying?
33
00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:39,809
You were sobbing.
There were tears on your face.
34
00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:43,206
When I asked you what was going on,
you said you were...
35
00:05:43,281 --> 00:05:45,408
...re-experiencing your father's death.
36
00:05:47,852 --> 00:05:49,012
Did you make notes?
37
00:05:49,421 --> 00:05:50,615
It's all there.
38
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:55,492
I'd like to try this again next week. Do you
think you could make it again next week?
39
00:05:55,894 --> 00:05:57,361
What are we looking for?
40
00:05:58,296 --> 00:06:00,821
I don't know, yet.
41
00:06:02,934 --> 00:06:05,767
There's really very little literature
on this kind of research.
42
00:06:05,837 --> 00:06:08,829
There are some good people in the field:
Tart, Ornstein and Deikman...
43
00:06:08,907 --> 00:06:12,138
...but most of it is radical-hip stuff,
drug-culture apologias.
44
00:06:12,710 --> 00:06:16,077
Obviously, the first thing to do is
set up some sensible methodology...
45
00:06:16,147 --> 00:06:19,172
...study these experiences
under controlled laboratory conditions.
46
00:06:19,249 --> 00:06:21,581
It won't interfere with the work
we're doing with Hobart.
47
00:06:21,652 --> 00:06:25,053
What are we getting into?
Sensory deprivation? Isolation studies?
48
00:06:25,122 --> 00:06:27,556
I mean, where will we be going
with the tank stuff?
49
00:06:27,624 --> 00:06:30,422
We're not writing up a grant.
Strictly bootlegging, just for kicks.
50
00:06:30,494 --> 00:06:32,553
We've got the use of this tank.
Let's play with it.
51
00:06:32,629 --> 00:06:34,529
Let's find out where it takes us.
52
00:06:35,866 --> 00:06:38,494
It's fascinating stuff.
I think we ought to get into it.
53
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:44,299
I didn't even know they had one of those
isolation tanks at New York Hospital.
54
00:06:44,374 --> 00:06:46,342
Must be some guy
in the Psychology Department...
55
00:06:46,410 --> 00:06:48,241
...doing sensory deprivation studies.
56
00:06:49,313 --> 00:06:51,247
What's Jessup doing with it?
57
00:06:51,915 --> 00:06:55,817
You've got me. He's been taking students
out of his classes and testing them.
58
00:06:55,886 --> 00:06:58,116
He's been doing this for three, four months.
59
00:06:58,622 --> 00:06:59,646
Did you know...
60
00:07:00,723 --> 00:07:02,054
...Jessup was into this kind of stuff?
61
00:07:02,124 --> 00:07:03,716
Not until you just told me.
62
00:07:04,327 --> 00:07:05,351
What do you want?
63
00:07:05,428 --> 00:07:07,487
How long are you going to let it ring?
64
00:07:08,564 --> 00:07:09,758
It's okay, I'll get it.
65
00:07:10,132 --> 00:07:11,724
He's the last guy in the world I figured...
66
00:07:11,801 --> 00:07:15,931
...to be screwing around with anything
as flaky as altered states of consciousness.
67
00:07:16,005 --> 00:07:19,168
Let's face it.
Jessup is pretty flaky himself.
68
00:07:21,677 --> 00:07:22,803
That's him.
69
00:07:43,398 --> 00:07:46,492
Arthur says you're very shy.
He wants me to draw you out.
70
00:07:47,202 --> 00:07:49,466
Draw me out?
That doesn't sound like Arthur.
71
00:07:49,938 --> 00:07:53,374
Well, what he actually said was
you were a high-handed, arrogant prick.
72
00:07:53,842 --> 00:07:55,503
A little nuts, but brilliant...
73
00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:59,109
...and that if I ever got you talking,
I would find you fascinating.
74
00:07:59,414 --> 00:08:01,109
That sounds more like Arthur.
75
00:08:01,182 --> 00:08:04,447
He says you're doing some work with him
and Alan Hobart at Payne-Whitney.
76
00:08:04,519 --> 00:08:05,679
What sort of work?
77
00:08:06,655 --> 00:08:07,781
Toxic metabolite stuff.
78
00:08:07,856 --> 00:08:09,983
We're replicating Heath's
and Friedhoff's strategies...
79
00:08:10,058 --> 00:08:12,720
...trying to find maverick substances
specific to schizophrenia.
80
00:08:12,794 --> 00:08:15,058
I think we're chasing our tails.
What do you do?
81
00:08:15,130 --> 00:08:17,826
I'm a physical anthropologist.
I'm sweating out my dissertation.
82
00:08:17,899 --> 00:08:18,729
Where?
83
00:08:19,034 --> 00:08:19,966
Columbia.
84
00:08:20,035 --> 00:08:21,935
Holloway, and that bunch.
85
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,960
You're kind of young for a Ph. D.,
aren't you?
86
00:08:25,039 --> 00:08:26,028
I'm 24.
87
00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:27,499
That's still pretty good.
88
00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:31,807
I didn't get my Ph. D. until I was 25.
I'm supposed to be a whiz kid.
89
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,380
I'm a whiz kid, too.
90
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:42,822
Anthropology seems to attract
good-looking women.
91
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:49,456
So you don't think schizophrenia can be
reduced to a single etiological agent?
92
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:52,297
I'm not even sure it's a disease.
93
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:55,533
You think madness is simply
another state of consciousness?
94
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:58,003
There's a body of evidence to support that.
95
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,307
You don't like to talk
about your work, do you?
96
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,502
As a rule, no.
97
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:12,984
I'm interested in interior experiences,
especially the religious experience.
98
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,350
The only reason I'm working
with schizophrenics now...
99
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:19,016
...is the religious experience is
so significant in schizophrenia.
100
00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:21,350
There's only so much
you can do with animals.
101
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:22,485
I worked with monkeys...
102
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,962
...but they can't tell you what goes on
in their consciousness.
103
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,931
You need human beings for that.
104
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:30,794
You can't ablate human beings,
nor stick electrodes in their skulls...
105
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:33,202
...so I have to use
a trance-inducing technique...
106
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:36,105
...and the isolation tank seemed
the least risky.
107
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:39,941
And I'd like to go home with you tonight.
Would that be all right with you?
108
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:44,010
I've got a roommate.
We'll be confined to the living-room couch.
109
00:09:45,417 --> 00:09:47,510
What's wrong with the living-room couch?
110
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,550
You tend to slip off a lot.
111
00:09:50,922 --> 00:09:52,321
I'm sure we'll manage.
112
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:54,220
I'm sure we will.
113
00:09:58,030 --> 00:10:00,726
So, whenever you want to go there,
you let me know.
114
00:10:02,734 --> 00:10:04,031
How about right now?
115
00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:21,315
What are you thinking about?
116
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:22,609
God...
117
00:10:24,923 --> 00:10:26,254
...Jesus, crucifixions.
118
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:34,988
As a rule, do you usually think about
Christ and crucifixions under sexual stress?
119
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,697
When I was nine years old,
I used to see visions...
120
00:10:45,843 --> 00:10:48,903
...visions of saints and angels,
even Christ himself.
121
00:10:52,283 --> 00:10:54,217
Of course I don't do that anymore...
122
00:10:59,123 --> 00:11:00,681
...not since I was 16.
123
00:11:01,892 --> 00:11:03,416
Were your parents religious?
124
00:11:04,395 --> 00:11:05,362
Anything but.
125
00:11:06,330 --> 00:11:10,129
My father was an aeronautical engineer.
My mother, a clinical psychologist.
126
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:11,459
What happened?
127
00:11:12,035 --> 00:11:16,062
I mean, how did a little kid who saw
visions of Christ turn into a physiologist...
128
00:11:16,139 --> 00:11:18,403
...teaching at the Cornell Medical College?
129
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:20,139
I stopped believing.
130
00:11:20,410 --> 00:11:21,434
It was very dramatic.
131
00:11:21,511 --> 00:11:25,641
My father died a protracted
and painful death of cancer.
132
00:11:27,951 --> 00:11:30,476
I was 16 years old
and very fond of my father.
133
00:11:30,553 --> 00:11:33,317
I used to race to the hospital
every day after school...
134
00:11:34,457 --> 00:11:36,584
...and sit in his room doing my homework.
135
00:11:37,026 --> 00:11:38,994
He was very heavily sedated.
136
00:11:39,462 --> 00:11:41,259
The last few weeks he was in coma.
137
00:11:45,301 --> 00:11:47,667
One day I thought
I heard him say something.
138
00:11:48,972 --> 00:11:50,666
I got up and leaned over him...
139
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,367
...my ear an inch away from his lips.
140
00:11:54,543 --> 00:11:56,374
"Did you say something, Pop?"
141
00:11:59,348 --> 00:12:03,079
Then I heard the word he was desperately
trying to say, a soft hiss of a word.
142
00:12:03,152 --> 00:12:04,483
He was saying...
143
00:12:08,056 --> 00:12:09,148
"... terrible..."
144
00:12:17,766 --> 00:12:18,824
"... terrible."
145
00:12:22,271 --> 00:12:25,331
So the end was terrible,
even for the good people like my father.
146
00:12:25,407 --> 00:12:28,399
So the purpose of all our suffering
was just more suffering.
147
00:12:31,846 --> 00:12:35,976
By dinner time, I had dispensed with God
altogether. I never saw another vision.
148
00:12:40,454 --> 00:12:42,888
I haven't told anybody
about this in 10 years.
149
00:12:46,127 --> 00:12:48,687
I'm telling you now
because I want you to know...
150
00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:52,058
...what sort of a nut
you might be getting mixed up with.
151
00:12:54,402 --> 00:12:56,063
Arthur was right.
152
00:12:56,771 --> 00:12:58,636
You are a fascinating bastard.
153
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,680
Well, it's settled.
154
00:15:31,755 --> 00:15:35,521
Metcalfe spoke to Spencer again this
morning and it's definite. The job's mine.
155
00:15:35,592 --> 00:15:38,254
I'll be in Nairobi doing
my post-doc work July and August...
156
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,523
...and in September,
I'll be teaching at Harvard.
157
00:15:40,597 --> 00:15:41,655
Terrific.
158
00:15:43,166 --> 00:15:45,828
It looks like we'll both be teaching
at Harvard in September.
159
00:15:45,902 --> 00:15:47,369
Looks that way.
160
00:15:49,506 --> 00:15:52,134
You can't get any tidier than that, can you?
161
00:15:55,145 --> 00:15:58,875
We're going to be together in Boston
and I think we should get married.
162
00:16:01,217 --> 00:16:04,050
You know, of course,
I'm supposed to be at least a little bit nuts.
163
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,280
A little bit?
164
00:16:05,354 --> 00:16:07,219
You're an unmitigated madman!
165
00:16:09,291 --> 00:16:13,387
You don't have to tell me how weird
you are. I know how weird you are!
166
00:16:13,963 --> 00:16:15,658
I'm the girl in your bed
the past two months.
167
00:16:15,731 --> 00:16:18,495
Even sex is a mystical experience for you.
168
00:16:19,235 --> 00:16:21,795
You carry on like a flagellant,
which can be very nice...
169
00:16:21,871 --> 00:16:24,431
...but I sometimes wonder
if it's me that's being made love to.
170
00:16:24,507 --> 00:16:28,375
I feel like I'm being harpooned by some
raging monk in the act of receiving God.
171
00:16:32,381 --> 00:16:38,047
And you are a Faust freak, Eddie.
You'd sell your soul to find the great Truth.
172
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,712
Well, human life doesn't have great truths.
173
00:16:42,223 --> 00:16:45,886
We're born in doubt. We spend our lives
persuading ourselves we're alive.
174
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:49,088
And one way we do that is
we love each other, like I love you.
175
00:16:49,464 --> 00:16:51,557
I can't imagine living without you.
176
00:16:52,634 --> 00:16:54,158
So let's get married.
177
00:16:54,369 --> 00:16:56,735
If it turns out to be a disaster,
it'll be a disaster.
178
00:16:56,805 --> 00:16:58,705
We'll shake hands and say goodbye.
179
00:17:06,314 --> 00:17:07,941
He's giving her dimethyltryptamine.
180
00:17:08,016 --> 00:17:11,975
It takes effect in about a minute
and she'll trip out for about half an hour.
181
00:17:18,259 --> 00:17:19,919
Do you feel different now?
182
00:17:21,862 --> 00:17:22,988
Less anxious?
183
00:17:24,131 --> 00:17:25,063
Much less.
184
00:17:25,399 --> 00:17:27,299
Do you have any special feelings?
185
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:28,660
I feel...
186
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:32,266
...like my heart is being touched by Christ.
187
00:17:48,255 --> 00:17:51,452
There's a lot of religious delusion
among acute schizophrenics.
188
00:17:51,825 --> 00:17:54,919
Some guys say schizophrenics are
physically different from the rest of us.
189
00:17:54,995 --> 00:17:58,556
It's almost as if they were trying
to change their physical selves to...
190
00:17:58,699 --> 00:18:01,292
...adapt to their schizophrenic image
of themselves.
191
00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:12,602
All right, we'll get married,
since it's that important to you.
192
00:18:13,546 --> 00:18:15,173
I'm not comfortable with women...
193
00:18:15,248 --> 00:18:19,116
...and I'm not likely to find anyone
half as remarkable as you again.
194
00:18:20,153 --> 00:18:22,485
I think I can make
a reasonably good husband.
195
00:18:25,057 --> 00:18:26,854
I don't want to lose you, you see.
196
00:18:29,228 --> 00:18:33,528
I suppose that's the closest thing to
a declaration of love I'll ever get out of you.
197
00:18:45,544 --> 00:18:47,341
Am I really that weird in bed?
198
00:18:47,946 --> 00:18:48,776
Sometimes.
199
00:18:51,216 --> 00:18:52,649
Shall I try to change?
200
00:18:53,285 --> 00:18:54,616
No, I kind of like it.
201
00:19:18,877 --> 00:19:21,437
- Daddy, I'm tired.
- We'll give the little lady a ride!
202
00:19:21,513 --> 00:19:22,878
Hey, Mason, be careful.
203
00:19:24,481 --> 00:19:25,573
How you doin', Eddie?
204
00:19:25,649 --> 00:19:27,276
Hi, Mason. How about a beer?
205
00:19:33,157 --> 00:19:36,957
- If I didn't see this, I wouldn't believe it!
- You were supposed to come next week!
206
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,676
Look at the family man!
Oh, Eddie, you look so good!
207
00:19:52,743 --> 00:19:53,732
I don't believe it.
208
00:19:53,811 --> 00:19:55,972
Not again? When did this happen?
209
00:19:56,046 --> 00:19:57,570
Well, it's a long story.
210
00:19:58,249 --> 00:19:59,716
Have you found a place yet?
211
00:19:59,917 --> 00:20:02,477
We got a nice little place
near Huntington Field.
212
00:20:03,187 --> 00:20:04,882
We moved to San Francisco
seven years ago.
213
00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:06,785
Arthur is going to teach at Boston U.
214
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,355
I can't believe it's been seven years.
215
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,551
I hear you just got associate professor.
216
00:20:10,860 --> 00:20:12,384
You guys must be loaded!
217
00:20:12,929 --> 00:20:15,363
We've got a place in Maine
you can use for the summer.
218
00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:17,922
I'm going to Africa again in June.
Eddie will be in Mexico.
219
00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:20,629
Do you know a guy named Eccheverria,
University of Mexico?
220
00:20:20,703 --> 00:20:21,931
Says he worked with you.
221
00:20:22,005 --> 00:20:23,404
Sure. A very bright young guy.
222
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:26,237
He's here at the Botanical Museum.
We'll all have to get together.
223
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,709
I'm going back to Mexico with him in June.
224
00:20:28,778 --> 00:20:29,767
What's in Mexico?
225
00:20:29,846 --> 00:20:33,145
Eccheverria's got this witch doctor
down there, the Hinchi Indians.
226
00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:36,043
They're an isolated tribe in Central Mexico
who still practice...
227
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:39,782
...the ancient Toltec rituals, sacred
mushroom ceremonies, that kind of thing.
228
00:20:40,123 --> 00:20:42,557
Apparently they use some kind
of hallucinatory drug...
229
00:20:42,625 --> 00:20:45,822
...that is supposed to evoke
a common experience in all users.
230
00:20:46,862 --> 00:20:49,990
Maggie has fallen asleep on the couch.
Will you take care of her?
231
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:53,734
Did you ever get into an isolation tank
since New York?
232
00:20:53,802 --> 00:20:55,133
No. Did you?
233
00:20:55,203 --> 00:20:58,001
No, but I just found out
there's one here at the Medical School.
234
00:20:58,073 --> 00:21:00,940
I didn't think anybody was doing
those kind of studies anymore.
235
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:03,000
We did some interesting stuff in that tank...
236
00:21:03,078 --> 00:21:05,603
...in New York for the few months
we played around with it.
237
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,650
Maybe when I get back from Mexico
we'll get into it again.
238
00:21:08,717 --> 00:21:09,911
Why not?
239
00:21:18,727 --> 00:21:20,524
A terrific housekeeper she's not.
240
00:21:22,764 --> 00:21:24,664
They're getting a divorce, you know.
241
00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:28,067
- I don't know if they're getting...
- What are you talking about?
242
00:21:28,135 --> 00:21:30,296
She and the kids are moving to Cambridge.
243
00:21:30,371 --> 00:21:31,770
That's why this place is such a mess.
244
00:21:31,839 --> 00:21:34,273
They're moving her stuff
into storage tomorrow.
245
00:21:37,912 --> 00:21:40,380
Then she's going off to Africa
for a year with the kids.
246
00:21:40,448 --> 00:21:42,211
And he's going to Mexico.
247
00:21:42,383 --> 00:21:45,841
When she comes back, she's going
to live in Cambridge and he's staying here.
248
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,581
It's he who wants the divorce, not her.
249
00:21:47,655 --> 00:21:50,021
I'm surprised they stayed together
this long.
250
00:21:50,257 --> 00:21:51,690
When did all this happen?
251
00:21:51,759 --> 00:21:53,693
She just told me five minutes ago.
252
00:21:54,028 --> 00:21:57,395
What about the letters she kept writing us
about how happy they were?
253
00:21:57,465 --> 00:22:00,696
Don't ask me. She's still crazy about him.
He's still crazy.
254
00:22:12,345 --> 00:22:14,870
Sylvia just told me
you're getting a divorce.
255
00:22:16,282 --> 00:22:17,510
We're getting separated.
256
00:22:17,584 --> 00:22:20,610
We probably won't get around
to the divorce until next year.
257
00:22:21,121 --> 00:22:23,783
I know it's none of my business, but why?
258
00:22:24,824 --> 00:22:27,315
You're married to a great woman
who adores you.
259
00:22:27,394 --> 00:22:29,658
My God, if anybody has it made, you have.
260
00:22:30,630 --> 00:22:32,723
You're a respected and admired figure...
261
00:22:32,799 --> 00:22:35,996
...a full professor on the faculty
of the Harvard Medical School.
262
00:22:36,202 --> 00:22:40,662
For God's sake, is that how you imagine
me? A respected and admired figure?
263
00:22:41,708 --> 00:22:43,335
A devoted father? A loving husband?
264
00:22:43,410 --> 00:22:47,176
Well, I've also published nearly two papers
a year for the last seven years...
265
00:22:47,247 --> 00:22:49,841
...and not a fundamental piece of work
in the lot.
266
00:22:50,016 --> 00:22:53,917
I sit around the living rooms
of other young married faculty members...
267
00:22:53,986 --> 00:22:57,615
...talking infantile masturbation, who's
sucking up to the head of the department...
268
00:22:57,689 --> 00:23:00,021
...whose tenure is hanging by a thread.
269
00:23:01,260 --> 00:23:02,887
Emily is content to go on with this life.
270
00:23:03,028 --> 00:23:05,588
She insists she's in love with me,
whatever that is.
271
00:23:05,931 --> 00:23:08,593
What she means is
she prefers the senseless pain...
272
00:23:08,667 --> 00:23:10,225
...we inflict on each other to the pain...
273
00:23:10,302 --> 00:23:12,668
...we would otherwise inflict on ourselves...
274
00:23:13,505 --> 00:23:15,837
...but I'm not afraid of that solitary pain.
275
00:23:17,476 --> 00:23:21,537
If I don't strip myself of all this clatter
and clutter and ridiculous ritual...
276
00:23:21,947 --> 00:23:24,108
...I shall go out of my fucking mind!
277
00:23:25,784 --> 00:23:27,411
Does that answer your question, Arthur?
278
00:23:27,486 --> 00:23:28,885
What question was that?
279
00:23:29,021 --> 00:23:30,886
You asked me why I was getting divorced.
280
00:23:30,956 --> 00:23:32,684
Listen, it's your life.
281
00:23:33,191 --> 00:23:34,522
I'm sorry I even asked.
282
00:23:36,961 --> 00:23:40,522
Why don't I call Eccheverria
and we'll all go out and have some dinner?
283
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,026
As a matter of fact, Eduardo,
my year in India was disappointing.
284
00:23:46,103 --> 00:23:47,570
No matter how you slice it...
285
00:23:47,638 --> 00:23:50,232
...yoga's a state-specific technology
operating in the service of...
286
00:23:50,308 --> 00:23:51,707
...an a piori belief system...
287
00:23:51,776 --> 00:23:55,769
We scientists have a moral obligation to
the public as well as to our own research.
288
00:23:56,113 --> 00:23:57,375
It just never occurred to baboons...
289
00:23:57,448 --> 00:24:01,214
...that they could shorten that time
to five minutes if they used a stick.
290
00:24:02,053 --> 00:24:06,547
Originally, man was just another
savanna-living primate like the baboon.
291
00:24:06,657 --> 00:24:11,560
What dignifies the yogic practices is the
belief system itself is not truly religious.
292
00:24:13,463 --> 00:24:15,328
There is no Buddhist god, per se.
293
00:24:15,398 --> 00:24:20,165
It is the Self, the individual Mind, that
contains immortality and ultimate Truth.
294
00:24:20,470 --> 00:24:22,165
What is not religious about that?
295
00:24:22,239 --> 00:24:24,469
You've simply replaced God
with the original Self.
296
00:24:24,541 --> 00:24:25,735
Yes, but we've localized it.
297
00:24:25,809 --> 00:24:27,868
Now I know where the Self is.
It's in our own minds.
298
00:24:27,944 --> 00:24:31,277
It's a form of human energy.
Our atoms are six billion years old.
299
00:24:31,348 --> 00:24:34,840
We've got six billion years
of memory in our minds.
300
00:24:35,318 --> 00:24:37,980
Memory is energy! It doesn't disappear!
It's still in there!
301
00:24:38,054 --> 00:24:40,921
There's a physiological pathway
to our earlier consciousnesses.
302
00:24:40,991 --> 00:24:44,017
There has to be.
It's in the goddamned limbic system.
303
00:24:44,094 --> 00:24:45,755
Jessup, you're a whacko!
304
00:24:46,029 --> 00:24:48,964
What's whacko about it?
I'm a man in search of his true Self.
305
00:24:49,032 --> 00:24:51,364
How archetypically American can you get?
306
00:24:52,068 --> 00:24:54,127
Everybody's looking for their true selves.
307
00:24:54,204 --> 00:24:56,694
We're all trying to fulfill ourselves...
308
00:24:57,206 --> 00:24:59,674
...understand ourselves,
get in touch with ourselves...
309
00:24:59,742 --> 00:25:04,042
...face the reality of ourselves,
explore ourselves, expand ourselves.
310
00:25:04,313 --> 00:25:05,837
Ever since we dispensed with God...
311
00:25:05,915 --> 00:25:10,045
...we've got nothing but ourselves
to explain this meaningless horror of life.
312
00:25:10,219 --> 00:25:11,345
You're whacko.
313
00:25:13,589 --> 00:25:15,784
Well, I think that the true Self...
314
00:25:16,492 --> 00:25:21,088
...that original Self, that first Self,
is a real, mensurate, quantifiable thing...
315
00:25:21,430 --> 00:25:24,194
...tangible and incarnate...
316
00:25:25,434 --> 00:25:27,402
...and I'm going to find the fucker.
317
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:53,659
What are their chemical properties?
318
00:25:55,496 --> 00:25:56,485
Are they safe?
319
00:25:56,564 --> 00:26:00,125
The mushrooms are almost
certainly amanita muscaria...
320
00:26:00,535 --> 00:26:04,062
...a very powerful psychedelic
and a little dangerous.
321
00:26:04,739 --> 00:26:07,936
It contains belladonna, alkaloids...
322
00:26:08,309 --> 00:26:10,368
...atropine, scopolamine.
323
00:26:11,112 --> 00:26:13,945
The sinicuiche plant is highly regarded...
324
00:26:14,983 --> 00:26:16,848
...among a number of Indian tribes.
325
00:26:16,918 --> 00:26:18,942
I've seen it as far north as Chihuahua.
326
00:26:19,086 --> 00:26:21,953
The Indians say it evokes old memories...
327
00:26:22,889 --> 00:26:24,516
...event ancient ones...
328
00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:28,622
...and the Hinchis call it The First Flower.
329
00:26:30,530 --> 00:26:32,589
The first in the sense of primordial?
330
00:26:32,733 --> 00:26:33,859
Yes.
331
00:26:34,201 --> 00:26:36,169
In the sense of the most ancient.
332
00:26:37,170 --> 00:26:38,501
I'd like to try it.
333
00:26:40,407 --> 00:26:43,069
Do you think they would
let me join in their ritual?
334
00:26:44,277 --> 00:26:46,541
Well, they seem like agreeable people.
335
00:27:00,026 --> 00:27:03,587
Est todo bien para ti
participar en la ceremonia.
336
00:27:05,064 --> 00:27:08,329
He says it's all right for you
to participate in their ceremony.
337
00:27:08,634 --> 00:27:11,159
Ask him what kind of an experience
I can expect.
338
00:27:12,038 --> 00:27:13,903
Are they gathering these mushrooms
for the ritual?
339
00:27:13,973 --> 00:27:16,168
No, they're being harvested for next year.
340
00:27:21,747 --> 00:27:24,272
Qu� clase de experiencia
puede esperar mi amigo?
341
00:27:25,017 --> 00:27:27,577
Su alma regresar a su primera alma.
342
00:27:28,254 --> 00:27:30,518
Your soul will return to the First Soul.
343
00:27:31,924 --> 00:27:33,915
Ask him what this First Soul will look like.
344
00:27:33,993 --> 00:27:35,790
?C�mo es la primera alma?
345
00:27:36,562 --> 00:27:38,530
Es la ateria increada.
346
00:27:40,131 --> 00:27:41,564
It is Unborn Stuff.
347
00:27:44,569 --> 00:27:47,094
Entonces, usted se lanzar� en el vacio...
348
00:27:48,006 --> 00:27:50,497
Then you will propel into the void.
349
00:27:51,276 --> 00:27:52,709
Usted ver� una mancha.
350
00:27:53,178 --> 00:27:54,668
You will see a spot.
351
00:27:55,613 --> 00:27:57,911
La mancha se convertir�en una grieta.
352
00:27:58,783 --> 00:28:00,580
The spot will become a crack.
353
00:28:01,486 --> 00:28:03,579
Esta es la Grieta Entre la Nada...
354
00:28:03,655 --> 00:28:06,089
This is the Crack Between the Nothing...
355
00:28:07,225 --> 00:28:09,625
De esta Nada saldr su Alma increada.
356
00:28:09,894 --> 00:28:12,988
...and out of this Nothing will come
your Unborn Soul.
357
00:29:27,036 --> 00:29:29,561
Digale que extienda la palma de la mano.
358
00:29:30,540 --> 00:29:34,101
He wants you to hold the root.
Put out your hand with your palm up.
359
00:30:44,545 --> 00:30:45,842
Are you all right?
360
00:37:03,414 --> 00:37:05,678
We only have their word I killed a lizard.
361
00:37:06,117 --> 00:37:08,711
You didn't see it
and I have no recollection of it!
362
00:37:09,087 --> 00:37:11,078
This whole hideous business is
just a joke...
363
00:37:11,155 --> 00:37:14,215
...the Indians have played on me
to make the gringo look like a fool!
364
00:37:14,292 --> 00:37:17,227
Look, you asked me what happened
and I told you!
365
00:37:17,895 --> 00:37:20,158
You drank the mixture
and you went outside.
366
00:37:20,530 --> 00:37:23,192
After a while there was a scream
and some dogs were barking.
367
00:37:23,267 --> 00:37:24,757
I shouted after you.
368
00:37:24,968 --> 00:37:27,562
The screaming stopped.
The brujo yelled at me to come back.
369
00:37:27,638 --> 00:37:28,662
Oh, bullshit!
370
00:37:29,673 --> 00:37:33,268
Then why did you ask the brujo to give you
the mixture to take back to Boston?
371
00:37:33,343 --> 00:37:36,369
I thought I'd like Arthur to analyze,
maybe synthesize, it.
372
00:37:39,483 --> 00:37:41,007
The noise is stupefying.
373
00:38:03,272 --> 00:38:05,331
The sun became black...
374
00:38:06,309 --> 00:38:07,469
...as sack cloth.
375
00:38:12,581 --> 00:38:15,709
The full moon became like blood.
376
00:38:18,154 --> 00:38:20,714
Then a great mountain burning with fire...
377
00:38:24,527 --> 00:38:26,324
...was thrown into the sea.
378
00:38:32,868 --> 00:38:36,599
Then the beast ascends
from the bottomless pit.
379
00:38:37,273 --> 00:38:41,004
The angel of the bottomless pit.
His name is...
380
00:38:48,416 --> 00:38:49,508
...Abaddon.
381
00:38:50,919 --> 00:38:52,011
He's off the wall!
382
00:38:52,187 --> 00:38:53,176
Are you okay?
383
00:38:53,254 --> 00:38:55,279
Get this stuff! It's new!
384
00:38:55,924 --> 00:38:58,290
It's deafening! The noise is deafening!
385
00:38:59,561 --> 00:39:01,392
Can you hear me above this noise?
386
00:39:03,665 --> 00:39:05,030
The most unbelievable thing I've seen!
387
00:39:05,100 --> 00:39:06,965
I'm watching the birth agony
of a mountain!
388
00:39:09,604 --> 00:39:10,730
Oh, my God.
389
00:39:10,839 --> 00:39:12,170
Are you okay?
390
00:39:13,675 --> 00:39:16,872
I'm fine. Really, I'm fine.
391
00:39:17,112 --> 00:39:19,046
Do you want me to bring you down now?
392
00:39:22,584 --> 00:39:23,572
What happens now?
393
00:39:23,650 --> 00:39:26,881
He's blacked out.
These blackouts can get pretty freaky.
394
00:39:26,954 --> 00:39:28,888
Sometimes they last as long as four hours.
395
00:39:28,956 --> 00:39:32,517
When he comes out of it, he's as chipper
as a bird, but he doesn't remember a thing.
396
00:39:32,593 --> 00:39:35,585
Just how dangerous is this stuff
he brought back from Mexico?
397
00:39:35,662 --> 00:39:37,653
I didn't say dangerous,
just said it was weird.
398
00:39:37,731 --> 00:39:38,823
It hangs around too long...
399
00:39:38,899 --> 00:39:42,027
...and what's really screwy is
it heads straight for the brain.
400
00:39:42,636 --> 00:39:44,194
Well, I don't believe this.
401
00:39:45,072 --> 00:39:48,405
You guys are shooting up with an untested
drug that stacks up in the brain...
402
00:39:48,475 --> 00:39:51,569
...and works in the nucleus of the cell
and you don't call that dangerous?
403
00:39:51,645 --> 00:39:54,637
For the record, we don't actually shoot up.
404
00:39:55,082 --> 00:39:57,346
- Eddie drinks a 10-milligram...
- It will stop now!
405
00:39:57,418 --> 00:39:59,579
You guys are supposed to be
reputable scientists...
406
00:39:59,653 --> 00:40:02,850
...not two kids in the dorm freaking out
on Mexican mushrooms!
407
00:40:04,323 --> 00:40:07,224
Why do you think I called you for?
Let's see you stop him.
408
00:40:14,367 --> 00:40:15,925
This ain't LSD, goddamnit!
409
00:40:16,035 --> 00:40:18,595
This is no serotonin antagonist
you're drinking!
410
00:40:19,005 --> 00:40:21,769
How many grams of that stuff
you think you've got in you?
411
00:40:21,841 --> 00:40:23,365
Two? Three?
412
00:40:24,110 --> 00:40:26,635
You could be working up
one hell of a case of cancer...
413
00:40:26,712 --> 00:40:28,475
...with all the antimetabolites in you.
414
00:40:28,548 --> 00:40:32,143
The Hinchis have been drinking that stuff
for centuries with no incidence of cancer.
415
00:40:32,218 --> 00:40:33,549
Fuck the Hinchi Indians!
416
00:40:33,619 --> 00:40:35,484
You don't know anything
about those mushrooms!
417
00:40:35,555 --> 00:40:37,318
They seem to have
fantastic staying powers!
418
00:40:37,390 --> 00:40:39,290
We've shot up at least 30 rats
with that stuff.
419
00:40:39,358 --> 00:40:41,292
Some of them have
a whopping load in them...
420
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,828
...and none of them have been
noticeably affected.
421
00:40:43,963 --> 00:40:46,487
Where are we going?
We were going to get something to eat.
422
00:40:46,565 --> 00:40:47,998
Eddie wants to show me an isolation tank.
423
00:40:48,066 --> 00:40:51,797
Isolation tank! You guys get flakier
every time I talk to you!
424
00:40:51,970 --> 00:40:54,768
I thought all that isolation tank stuff
went out in the '60s...
425
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,967
...with Timothy Leary
and all them other gurus!
426
00:40:57,042 --> 00:41:00,068
Will you shut up for a minute
and let somebody else say something?
427
00:41:00,145 --> 00:41:01,942
What happens during
these blackout periods is...
428
00:41:02,013 --> 00:41:04,072
...you get the feeling
of phenomenal acceleration...
429
00:41:04,149 --> 00:41:07,277
...like you're being shot out over millions,
billions of years.
430
00:41:07,352 --> 00:41:08,944
Time simply obliterates.
431
00:41:09,354 --> 00:41:12,187
You sense the hallucination is going on,
but you get no images.
432
00:41:12,257 --> 00:41:14,054
I want to break through
that blackout barrier.
433
00:41:14,125 --> 00:41:17,959
I want to know what those images are
that I know are going on but I can't see.
434
00:41:18,029 --> 00:41:21,465
We can't raise the dosage of the drug
because we're close to toxic levels now.
435
00:41:21,533 --> 00:41:23,865
The only way to intensify
the experience is...
436
00:41:23,935 --> 00:41:25,869
...to take the 200 milligrams
along with the tank.
437
00:41:25,937 --> 00:41:28,666
There's more I'd like to do to that drug
before you take it again.
438
00:41:28,739 --> 00:41:30,206
I'd like to do a half-life determination.
439
00:41:30,274 --> 00:41:32,037
- That would take us a year!
- I'd like to know the transport system.
440
00:41:32,109 --> 00:41:33,701
I'd like to find some analogues.
441
00:41:33,777 --> 00:41:36,405
This Mexican stuff
is an extraordinary substance...
442
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,677
...and every instinct I have tells me
I'm onto something hot here...
443
00:41:39,750 --> 00:41:42,742
...and another 200 milligrams
isn't going to kill anybody.
444
00:41:45,022 --> 00:41:46,148
There it is.
445
00:41:50,127 --> 00:41:51,321
Oh, it's horizontal.
446
00:41:53,397 --> 00:41:55,627
It's smaller than the one
we had in New York.
447
00:41:57,001 --> 00:41:58,798
If they're doing sleep studies, it must be...
448
00:41:58,869 --> 00:42:02,464
I don't think anybody's used it in years,
but I checked it out yesterday and it works.
449
00:42:02,540 --> 00:42:03,973
It won't take a week
to get this place cleaned.
450
00:42:04,041 --> 00:42:05,008
You could get your ass in a sling...
451
00:42:05,075 --> 00:42:07,805
...if it ever gets out you're using
an untested drug on human subjects.
452
00:42:07,878 --> 00:42:09,970
Don't worry.
Nothing's going to happen to me.
453
00:42:10,146 --> 00:42:11,204
Let's get a quick hamburger.
454
00:42:11,281 --> 00:42:12,680
I'm seeing one of my students tonight.
455
00:42:12,749 --> 00:42:13,681
All right!
456
00:42:14,984 --> 00:42:18,420
Do what you want to do.
I think you're both irresponsible as hell!
457
00:42:18,788 --> 00:42:22,656
Don't call me and tell me you're worried
about Eddie putting all this shit into him!
458
00:42:22,725 --> 00:42:25,785
I'm telling you, don't you put
any more of that shit into him...
459
00:42:25,862 --> 00:42:27,955
...until you know a hell of a lot more
about it!
460
00:42:28,031 --> 00:42:31,057
I've offered you the use of my lab
and all the rats you can cut!
461
00:42:31,134 --> 00:42:33,967
That's as much as I want to be implicated
in your dumb experiments!
462
00:42:34,037 --> 00:42:35,163
Go get your own dumb hamburger.
463
00:42:35,238 --> 00:42:38,002
I've already got my own date
I'm an hour late for!
464
00:42:50,118 --> 00:42:53,110
I already did these first three.
You do the rest.
465
00:43:03,865 --> 00:43:05,492
Couldn't resist, right?
466
00:43:05,601 --> 00:43:08,570
Well, somebody's got to keep his eye
on you two sorcerers.
467
00:43:09,705 --> 00:43:11,798
What have you got in there,
some kind of salt solution?
468
00:43:11,873 --> 00:43:15,240
Ten percent magnesium sulfate,
for buoyancy.
469
00:43:18,180 --> 00:43:19,306
Weird, man.
470
00:43:27,522 --> 00:43:28,955
One, two, three, four.
471
00:43:29,291 --> 00:43:30,451
one, two, three, four.
472
00:43:30,525 --> 00:43:31,684
Okay, you're fine.
473
00:43:32,793 --> 00:43:36,285
Wednesday, January 7th, 4:28 P. M.
474
00:43:37,832 --> 00:43:39,299
Hey, this is terrific!
475
00:43:42,036 --> 00:43:44,664
He went into theta like a shot.
No spindling, nothing.
476
00:43:45,606 --> 00:43:47,301
Grasslands, savannas.
477
00:43:49,510 --> 00:43:50,943
i feel...
478
00:43:51,312 --> 00:43:54,110
...i am actually alive
and inside this landscape.
479
00:43:56,250 --> 00:43:58,309
A density of woodlands about a mile away.
480
00:43:58,386 --> 00:44:01,378
Beyond that,
mountains that seem to be smoking.
481
00:44:01,489 --> 00:44:04,890
Newly born mountains,
Cenozoic, latter Tertiary.
482
00:44:06,961 --> 00:44:08,588
i'm in an edge-area.
483
00:44:08,929 --> 00:44:11,295
Utter tranquility, but alive.
484
00:44:11,365 --> 00:44:13,889
Life in the trees. Life in the sedge.
485
00:44:14,834 --> 00:44:15,892
oh, my God...
486
00:44:16,236 --> 00:44:19,535
...the birth of man. That's got to be it!
487
00:44:20,106 --> 00:44:22,472
y God! There it is...
488
00:44:24,177 --> 00:44:25,144
...a proto-human.
489
00:44:25,211 --> 00:44:28,544
The first, and the original
truly human form...
490
00:44:29,983 --> 00:44:33,111
...tiny, perhaps 4 feet high,
completely furred...
491
00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:35,585
...chimp-like, but erect.
492
00:44:35,655 --> 00:44:37,247
No knuckle walking. Shorter arms.
493
00:44:37,323 --> 00:44:39,587
He's moving along so gracefully.
494
00:44:39,959 --> 00:44:41,893
There's two, three of them.
495
00:44:43,596 --> 00:44:47,327
Bipedal, tiny, little furred
humanoid creatures...
496
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,732
...a chunk of lava in their hands...
497
00:44:51,404 --> 00:44:53,269
...stalking or hunting something.
498
00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:56,832
For Christ's sake.
499
00:44:58,510 --> 00:44:59,670
Are you okay, Eddie?
500
00:44:59,745 --> 00:45:02,942
i'm becoming one of them.
i'm no longer observing.
501
00:45:04,650 --> 00:45:05,810
i'm one of them.
502
00:45:10,289 --> 00:45:13,190
Killing something, a goat.
503
00:45:13,459 --> 00:45:14,824
i'm killing...
504
00:45:15,427 --> 00:45:16,587
...i'm eating...
505
00:45:16,962 --> 00:45:20,363
...i'm eating the blood, hot flesh of a goat.
506
00:45:26,939 --> 00:45:28,065
Are you okay?
507
00:45:29,274 --> 00:45:30,206
Beautiful.
508
00:45:31,777 --> 00:45:33,335
Do you want to come down?
509
00:45:47,825 --> 00:45:50,225
It sounded like he was having
a bad trip to me.
510
00:45:50,328 --> 00:45:52,888
Some of these tank trips can get
pretty creepy.
511
00:45:55,733 --> 00:45:57,223
What the hell was that?
512
00:46:01,339 --> 00:46:02,328
Are you okay?
513
00:46:03,307 --> 00:46:04,274
Beautiful.
514
00:46:04,876 --> 00:46:06,366
Do you want to stop this?
515
00:46:06,911 --> 00:46:09,812
- Do you want me to leave you alone?
- Yeah.
516
00:46:26,897 --> 00:46:29,627
I thought you said these things don't last
more than four hours.
517
00:46:29,699 --> 00:46:31,098
It's a quarter to nine.
518
00:46:31,334 --> 00:46:32,460
He's coming out.
519
00:46:34,805 --> 00:46:38,571
I don't like being out of contact
for these long periods of time.
520
00:46:49,352 --> 00:46:50,341
I think he's in shock.
521
00:46:50,420 --> 00:46:53,116
He must have had a seizure,
hit his head or something.
522
00:47:55,683 --> 00:47:57,480
What do you want blood tests for?
523
00:47:58,753 --> 00:47:59,811
What does he say?
524
00:47:59,888 --> 00:48:02,015
"Buccal smear, blood for a karyotype...
525
00:48:02,090 --> 00:48:04,251
"... also pictures for the Goodman
and Sarich lab.
526
00:48:04,325 --> 00:48:06,885
"Picture of my neck. Now, before I...
527
00:48:07,562 --> 00:48:08,586
"... reconstitute."
528
00:48:08,663 --> 00:48:09,789
Before he what?
529
00:48:10,765 --> 00:48:12,198
Before he reconstitutes.
530
00:48:12,533 --> 00:48:16,060
Then take his damn blood,
and maybe he'll let me have a look at him.
531
00:48:19,908 --> 00:48:22,273
Do you mind if I examine your neck
for a minute?
532
00:48:23,844 --> 00:48:24,776
Any masses?
533
00:48:31,585 --> 00:48:32,745
Stop talking shit!
534
00:48:32,819 --> 00:48:35,310
Are you trying to say
your dumb hallucination has externalized?
535
00:48:35,389 --> 00:48:36,617
What did he write?
536
00:48:36,690 --> 00:48:38,487
"Not common aphasia.
537
00:48:38,558 --> 00:48:42,085
"Time-space,
fallout from the hallucination."
538
00:48:42,162 --> 00:48:44,255
You are a fucking flake, Jessup.
539
00:48:44,364 --> 00:48:46,127
Get dressed. I'm taking you
to the Brigham...
540
00:48:46,199 --> 00:48:48,030
...and do a complete workup on you.
541
00:48:50,337 --> 00:48:53,033
You are a very sick dude,
you dumb son of a bitch.
542
00:48:53,106 --> 00:48:55,074
I'll look down your throat,
do some skull films...
543
00:48:55,142 --> 00:48:58,168
...get a CAT scan, maybe even
an arteriogram, and I'd like...
544
00:48:58,245 --> 00:49:00,770
...an unbiased eye
to look at those EEG tracings.
545
00:49:02,248 --> 00:49:03,579
What does he say?
546
00:49:03,950 --> 00:49:04,712
"X-ray! "
547
00:49:05,484 --> 00:49:08,749
All right, finish up with him
and let's get him over to X-ray.
548
00:49:09,155 --> 00:49:10,520
Be right back.
549
00:49:39,452 --> 00:49:41,147
is it possible it's purely mechanical?
550
00:49:41,220 --> 00:49:44,120
Well, if it isn't neurological,
it's got to be mechanical.
551
00:49:44,522 --> 00:49:48,686
I'd like some plain films of this guy's neck.
A PA, a lateral and oblique.
552
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:50,125
I'm backed up to my ass!
553
00:49:50,195 --> 00:49:52,493
Just take the damn pictures!
This is an emergency!
554
00:50:12,083 --> 00:50:13,482
Might be a TIA.
555
00:50:14,386 --> 00:50:16,616
I guess we'd better not tell Eddie he had...
556
00:50:17,188 --> 00:50:21,090
...blood all over his face when he came
out of the tank. He'll claim it was...
557
00:50:22,227 --> 00:50:25,093
...goat's blood from that goat
he was eating in his hallucination.
558
00:50:25,162 --> 00:50:27,630
You know, you're really getting
as weird as he is!
559
00:50:27,698 --> 00:50:29,529
What do you think happened?
560
00:50:30,634 --> 00:50:33,626
He's not the type for hysterical conversion,
so I'm thinking seizure.
561
00:50:33,704 --> 00:50:37,697
He came out of that tank in a fugue state
and had blood all over his face.
562
00:50:37,775 --> 00:50:40,005
He must have had a seizure
while in the tank...
563
00:50:40,077 --> 00:50:43,274
...bit his lip while convulsing
and is postictally aphasic.
564
00:50:43,347 --> 00:50:47,283
I thought maybe he had a vascular insult,
a stroke, a flipped embolus...
565
00:50:48,419 --> 00:50:51,650
...but neurologically he's intact,
so I'm thinking seizure now.
566
00:51:04,101 --> 00:51:06,625
Now you just take it easy.
567
00:51:06,702 --> 00:51:09,227
None of us are so terrific at reading X-rays.
568
00:51:09,539 --> 00:51:10,699
What are you looking for?
569
00:51:10,773 --> 00:51:13,799
Just put these in an envelope.
Who's reading tonight in Radiology?
570
00:51:13,876 --> 00:51:15,241
Dr. Wissenschaft.
571
00:51:18,014 --> 00:51:20,005
I want someone reliable to look at them.
572
00:51:20,083 --> 00:51:22,051
I'd rather not have everyone
in the Brigham on this.
573
00:51:22,118 --> 00:51:24,518
It's bad enough we've got
this nosy X-ray technician.
574
00:51:24,587 --> 00:51:25,747
Are you all right?
575
00:51:25,822 --> 00:51:28,791
I'm fine. I tried to indicate
this was just a transient thing.
576
00:51:28,858 --> 00:51:31,258
A transient ischemic attack,
that's all it was.
577
00:51:31,661 --> 00:51:34,528
- He's got his voice back.
- It wasn't an ischemic attack!
578
00:51:34,730 --> 00:51:36,595
It wasn't a seizure.
You saw the X-rays, Mason.
579
00:51:36,666 --> 00:51:39,931
There was something anterior to the larynx
that looked like a laryngeal sac.
580
00:51:40,002 --> 00:51:42,562
That's strictly simian.
I obviously regressed...
581
00:51:43,072 --> 00:51:45,506
...to some quasi-simian creature.
582
00:51:51,113 --> 00:51:53,013
I'll show these to someone
who can read them right.
583
00:51:53,081 --> 00:51:55,174
You're reading them wrong. That's all...
584
00:51:55,250 --> 00:51:56,376
...because no one is going to tell me...
585
00:51:56,451 --> 00:51:59,284
...you de-differentiated
your goddamn genetic structure...
586
00:51:59,354 --> 00:52:01,845
...for four goddamn hours
and then reconstituted!
587
00:52:02,424 --> 00:52:05,188
I'm a professor of endocrinology
at the Harvard Medical School!
588
00:52:05,260 --> 00:52:07,990
I'm an attending physician
at the Peter Bent Brigham Hospital!
589
00:52:08,063 --> 00:52:09,360
I'm a contributing editor...
590
00:52:09,431 --> 00:52:11,365
...to the American Journal
of Endocrinology!
591
00:52:11,433 --> 00:52:15,494
And I'm a fellow and vice-president of the
Eastern Association of Endocrinologists!
592
00:52:15,570 --> 00:52:17,538
And president of the Journal Club!
593
00:52:18,073 --> 00:52:19,700
And I'm not going to listen
to any more of...
594
00:52:19,774 --> 00:52:24,575
...your cabalistic, quantum,
friggin', dumb, limbo mumbo jumbo!
595
00:52:24,980 --> 00:52:27,210
I'm going to show these to a radiologist!
596
00:52:38,859 --> 00:52:39,848
Do me a favor.
597
00:52:39,927 --> 00:52:42,361
Conclusion, bilateral aspiration pneumonia.
598
00:52:42,696 --> 00:52:46,154
- Do me a favor and take a look at these.
- What's the story in this case?
599
00:52:46,734 --> 00:52:51,398
A 35-year-old white man, acute onset
of aphasia, no history of trauma.
600
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:53,536
What are you looking for?
601
00:52:53,607 --> 00:52:56,667
It looks to me like the architecture is
somewhat abnormal.
602
00:52:59,380 --> 00:53:00,472
Somewhat?
603
00:53:01,882 --> 00:53:03,577
This guy is a fucking gorilla!
604
00:54:13,218 --> 00:54:14,742
Are you okay, Dr. Jessup?
605
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:16,012
Yes.
606
00:55:46,343 --> 00:55:48,106
Are you all right, Dr. Jessup?
607
00:55:54,818 --> 00:55:55,875
I'm fine.
608
00:56:05,561 --> 00:56:07,290
I just want to make a few notes.
609
00:56:45,533 --> 00:56:47,433
My God, you look so marvelous!
610
00:56:48,636 --> 00:56:50,194
How have you been, Eddie?
611
00:56:50,405 --> 00:56:51,702
Just fine. You?
612
00:56:52,106 --> 00:56:53,130
Fine.
613
00:56:54,075 --> 00:56:55,133
Look, there's Daddy.
614
00:56:55,209 --> 00:56:57,541
Are you going to drive us
to our new house?
615
00:56:58,246 --> 00:57:00,043
You bet. Depending how nice you are...
616
00:57:00,114 --> 00:57:02,582
...maybe we'll take you
to a Chinese restaurant.
617
00:57:04,652 --> 00:57:07,951
Don't let anybody tell you
baboons aren't occasionally carnivorous.
618
00:57:08,322 --> 00:57:10,483
I observed instances of predation...
619
00:57:10,858 --> 00:57:13,622
...which involved the unmistakable
behavior of hunters.
620
00:57:13,694 --> 00:57:16,629
A pair of baboons killed
the Thomson's gazelle and ate it.
621
00:57:16,697 --> 00:57:18,721
There was even
a rudimentary communication...
622
00:57:18,799 --> 00:57:20,426
...between the two baboons...
623
00:57:21,535 --> 00:57:22,763
...so I've become...
624
00:57:22,836 --> 00:57:25,930
...fascinated with the work being done
on nonverbal communications with apes.
625
00:57:26,006 --> 00:57:29,271
I've been corresponding with the Gardners
at the University of Nevada.
626
00:57:29,342 --> 00:57:32,470
i may just go out and spend
a couple of weeks there this summer.
627
00:57:32,646 --> 00:57:35,342
I've got nothing else to do
except write up my report.
628
00:57:35,415 --> 00:57:38,145
I don't suppose you recorded
any of those baboon sounds?
629
00:57:39,019 --> 00:57:40,384
Of course I did. Why?
630
00:57:40,454 --> 00:57:42,217
I'd like very much to hear them.
631
00:57:42,522 --> 00:57:43,511
Of course.
632
00:57:44,758 --> 00:57:47,124
Mrs. Tally said she'll be here
tomorrow morning at 10:30...
633
00:57:47,194 --> 00:57:49,059
...to help you put everything away.
634
00:57:49,696 --> 00:57:52,927
She wanted to know if you wanted her
to come back to work steady.
635
00:57:53,433 --> 00:57:55,162
i got a letter from ason
about a week ago...
636
00:57:55,235 --> 00:57:57,100
...just before we left Nairobi.
637
00:58:01,106 --> 00:58:03,939
He says you've been working
with a very complex drug...
638
00:58:04,009 --> 00:58:06,000
...which you brought back from Mexico.
639
00:58:06,612 --> 00:58:09,740
It hasn't been thoroughly tested yet
and is dangerous as hell.
640
00:58:11,717 --> 00:58:13,412
What else did Mason write you?
641
00:58:14,286 --> 00:58:18,222
That over the past year you've taken
about two grams of that drug yourself...
642
00:58:18,491 --> 00:58:22,587
...and you had a very unusual instance of
genetic regression about three months ago.
643
00:58:23,262 --> 00:58:25,594
You may have leukemia or lymphoma.
644
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,160
He's been trying to get you
to go for a complete workup...
645
00:58:30,236 --> 00:58:31,999
...but you've refused to go.
646
00:58:32,505 --> 00:58:34,837
He's worried stiff that you're cracking up.
647
00:58:35,374 --> 00:58:37,638
He thinks you're behaving very strangely...
648
00:58:38,244 --> 00:58:41,371
...and he begged me to talk to you
about this when I got back.
649
00:58:41,746 --> 00:58:45,443
Mason is pathologically incapable
of keeping his mouth shut about anything.
650
00:58:45,750 --> 00:58:48,719
- He's a stupid, starched, doctrinaire idiot!
- Mason is a first-rate doctor!
651
00:58:48,786 --> 00:58:50,583
It's not leukemia!
652
00:58:53,258 --> 00:58:55,021
Or any other kind of cancer!
653
00:58:55,793 --> 00:58:59,058
I've let him do a liver-spleen scan on me
and a CAT scan.
654
00:58:59,130 --> 00:59:01,223
I have been probed, scoped and palpated!
655
00:59:01,299 --> 00:59:04,496
He's had a mirror down my throat
or up my ass for the last three months...
656
00:59:04,602 --> 00:59:07,594
...and there is no evidence,
no suggestion whatsoever of cancer!
657
00:59:07,672 --> 00:59:09,264
What else did Mason write you?
658
00:59:11,843 --> 00:59:13,936
Which of these has
the baboon vocalizations on them?
659
00:59:14,012 --> 00:59:15,843
- I'd like to hear them.
- Why?
660
00:59:15,914 --> 00:59:18,508
Did he write you that during
the regression...
661
00:59:18,583 --> 00:59:20,608
...I had an aphasic experience
for about four hours?
662
00:59:20,685 --> 00:59:23,653
The only sounds I could get out were
clicks and grunts.
663
00:59:23,720 --> 00:59:25,745
They sound like the baboon vocalizations
on your tapes.
664
00:59:25,822 --> 00:59:28,290
Mason said you took blood tests
and the lab report showed...
665
00:59:28,358 --> 00:59:30,883
...some characteristics
of simian blood group systems.
666
00:59:31,061 --> 00:59:32,688
They also picked up antigens
specific to man.
667
00:59:32,763 --> 00:59:33,787
I'd like to see that data.
668
00:59:33,864 --> 00:59:37,766
The thing to do is for me to get back
to that isolation tank and try it again!
669
00:59:37,834 --> 00:59:41,201
Let's see if it happens again!
None of us really believes it happened.
670
00:59:41,271 --> 00:59:44,798
After three months, I'm beginning
to wonder if it ever happened myself.
671
00:59:44,875 --> 00:59:47,867
They won't go back to the tank.
Mason's taken over the project.
672
00:59:47,945 --> 00:59:50,709
He's got Arthur up in his lab every day
fractionating rats' brains!
673
00:59:50,781 --> 00:59:54,547
What the hell am I supposed to do
while they're fractionating rats' brains?
674
00:59:59,289 --> 01:00:01,416
Everybody thinks your father's going nuts.
675
01:00:01,491 --> 01:00:03,617
Mommy, when are we going to eat?
676
01:00:07,163 --> 01:00:08,528
Run along now and play with Grace.
677
01:00:08,598 --> 01:00:12,591
I am convinced that the regression was
triggered by an act of consciousness.
678
01:00:12,668 --> 01:00:15,728
When I was in the tank,
I entered another consciousness!
679
01:00:15,905 --> 01:00:18,738
I became another self,
a more primitive self...
680
01:00:18,808 --> 01:00:20,901
...and the drug, in some way...
681
01:00:21,744 --> 01:00:25,009
...triggered the externalization
of that other, more primitive self.
682
01:00:26,382 --> 01:00:27,940
At least look at my data!
683
01:00:28,017 --> 01:00:29,848
Of course. Would tomorrow afternoon be...
684
01:00:29,919 --> 01:00:32,911
Don't patronize me!
It's just possible I'm not mad, you know!
685
01:00:32,989 --> 01:00:35,082
I'm asking you to make
a small quantum jump with me...
686
01:00:35,157 --> 01:00:37,284
...to accept one deviant concept...
687
01:00:37,593 --> 01:00:40,960
...that our other states of consciousness
are as real as our waking state...
688
01:00:41,030 --> 01:00:42,554
...and that reality can be externalized!
689
01:00:42,632 --> 01:00:43,621
You're screaming.
690
01:00:43,699 --> 01:00:45,188
I get this patronizing shit...
691
01:00:45,266 --> 01:00:47,928
...from Arthur and Mason for three months
and I'm sick of it!
692
01:00:48,003 --> 01:00:51,837
We've got millions of years stored away
in that computer bank we call our minds!
693
01:00:51,906 --> 01:00:55,433
We have got trillions of dormant genes
in us, our whole evolutionary past.
694
01:00:55,510 --> 01:00:57,341
Perhaps I've tapped into that!
695
01:00:57,946 --> 01:01:00,972
I want to get back into that tank
and repeat the experiment.
696
01:01:01,049 --> 01:01:05,247
The most elementary laboratory behavior!
Repeat the experiment. Confirm it!
697
01:01:06,221 --> 01:01:08,985
I would like other responsible scientists
with me when I do it!
698
01:01:09,057 --> 01:01:11,582
I would like a little consensual validation
on this.
699
01:01:12,260 --> 01:01:15,593
We may have demonstrated
a whole new force in nature!
700
01:01:16,564 --> 01:01:19,965
For God's sake, don't you agree
it merits further investigation?
701
01:01:20,035 --> 01:01:21,593
I have the tapes, notes and everything.
702
01:01:21,670 --> 01:01:25,037
What time would you like to come
and look at the stuff tomorrow?
703
01:01:25,806 --> 01:01:27,103
2:00, 2:30.
704
01:01:29,743 --> 01:01:32,303
I just want to get the girls.
I'll be right back.
705
01:02:11,718 --> 01:02:14,312
- i'll get it, i'll get it.
- No, no, i will.
706
01:02:15,688 --> 01:02:18,088
It's 8:30, so get washed
and changed right now...
707
01:02:18,157 --> 01:02:20,921
...and I want no trouble
from either of you tonight.
708
01:02:20,993 --> 01:02:22,085
Hello?
709
01:02:22,595 --> 01:02:24,654
Oh, Mason. Thank you for calling.
710
01:02:25,231 --> 01:02:26,994
I assume you've spoken to Arthur.
711
01:02:27,834 --> 01:02:30,428
No, no, I just got back
from dinner with the kids.
712
01:02:30,837 --> 01:02:33,567
Well, I just don't know what to say.
713
01:02:33,706 --> 01:02:36,800
I think you're absolutely right.
He's on the verge of a breakdown.
714
01:02:36,876 --> 01:02:40,505
He was here all afternoon and carried on
like a madman and then just disappeared.
715
01:02:40,580 --> 01:02:44,016
Ordinarily I wouldn't be this panicky,
but I just am very worried.
716
01:04:55,244 --> 01:04:58,270
- What's the trouble?
- There's an animal loose in the basement!
717
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:00,011
What kind of animal?
718
01:05:00,282 --> 01:05:01,579
Monkey, I think!
719
01:05:25,807 --> 01:05:27,274
Charlie! Charlie Thomas!
720
01:05:28,710 --> 01:05:29,972
Where are you?
721
01:05:32,281 --> 01:05:34,748
We've got an animal loose
in the B-building basement.
722
01:05:34,815 --> 01:05:37,306
I'm heading to the north corridor
leading to the boiler room...
723
01:05:37,385 --> 01:05:38,977
...so you guys come down the other way.
724
01:05:39,053 --> 01:05:41,613
Now, watch your step.
He's a pretty good-sized ape.
725
01:05:41,756 --> 01:05:44,953
Call the animal rooms and...
What the hell is he doing down here?
726
01:06:14,088 --> 01:06:15,850
He must be in here somewhere.
727
01:06:18,291 --> 01:06:20,054
I'm gonna take a look up here.
728
01:08:11,369 --> 01:08:13,132
Get out of here!
729
01:13:59,207 --> 01:14:01,198
What were you doing in the tank room?
730
01:14:03,145 --> 01:14:06,308
I remember large fragments
of what happened, but not all of it.
731
01:14:09,418 --> 01:14:11,318
You'll have to be patient with me.
732
01:14:12,521 --> 01:14:15,684
I've had Mason looking all over Boston
for you all night.
733
01:14:16,858 --> 01:14:18,348
It's okay. I'm all right.
734
01:14:27,936 --> 01:14:31,302
I suppose getting a call at 2:30
in the morning from the police...
735
01:14:32,606 --> 01:14:35,268
...to the effect your husband has been
found sleeping naked...
736
01:14:35,342 --> 01:14:38,038
...in the city zoo might have caused you
some concern.
737
01:14:38,245 --> 01:14:39,405
I think you could say that.
738
01:14:39,480 --> 01:14:42,972
And Mason writing you this whole time
that I'm having a nervous breakdown...
739
01:14:43,050 --> 01:14:45,746
...and you figured
I finally flipped out altogether.
740
01:14:48,255 --> 01:14:52,316
I'm sorry, Emily. Forgive me. I know
what a harrowing day I've caused you.
741
01:14:52,393 --> 01:14:54,452
I suppose you've been sitting here
all this time...
742
01:14:54,528 --> 01:14:57,224
...trying to figure out
how to get me to a psychiatrist.
743
01:14:57,298 --> 01:14:58,788
As a matter of fact, I have.
744
01:14:58,966 --> 01:15:01,867
I don't know how you've put up with me
all these years.
745
01:15:04,338 --> 01:15:05,464
I loved you.
746
01:15:09,810 --> 01:15:13,506
Oh, my God, Emily, I don't know
how to tell you this. I really don't.
747
01:15:14,180 --> 01:15:16,114
The implications are staggering.
748
01:15:16,683 --> 01:15:18,913
Apparently I entered
a very primitive consciousness.
749
01:15:18,985 --> 01:15:21,818
All I can remember is what was
comprehensible to that consciousness.
750
01:15:21,888 --> 01:15:25,449
I don't remember, at least not clearly,
how I got out of the tank room.
751
01:15:26,759 --> 01:15:28,818
The first thing I remember are the dogs.
752
01:15:28,895 --> 01:15:32,126
I followed a pack of wild dogs to the zoo.
That's how I got there.
753
01:15:34,300 --> 01:15:37,736
In the zoo, I hunted down,
killed and ate a small sheep.
754
01:15:41,574 --> 01:15:44,304
I was utterly primal.
I consisted of nothing more...
755
01:15:44,377 --> 01:15:47,403
...than the will to survive,
to live through the night...
756
01:15:47,847 --> 01:15:49,246
...to eat...
757
01:15:50,350 --> 01:15:51,612
...to drink...
758
01:15:54,486 --> 01:15:55,646
...to sleep.
759
01:15:59,491 --> 01:16:02,255
It was the most supremely
satisfying time of my life.
760
01:16:06,231 --> 01:16:07,926
I may have killed a man tonight.
761
01:16:09,902 --> 01:16:11,164
I remember...
762
01:16:13,272 --> 01:16:14,830
...beating on a...
763
01:16:23,649 --> 01:16:26,243
You don't know the trouble I had
getting these clothes.
764
01:16:26,318 --> 01:16:28,684
I had to go down to the security office.
765
01:16:30,822 --> 01:16:33,450
They want you to call
the security office right now.
766
01:16:33,592 --> 01:16:36,424
There was some kind of ape loose
in your isolation tank room tonight.
767
01:16:36,494 --> 01:16:40,191
Do you know anything about that?
This ape almost killed a security guard.
768
01:16:40,865 --> 01:16:44,096
You didn't bring some ape
down to that tank room tonight, did you?
769
01:16:48,673 --> 01:16:51,870
Your watch and stuff are
in your jacket pocket. Are you all right?
770
01:16:52,944 --> 01:16:54,172
Is he all right?
771
01:16:54,545 --> 01:16:56,570
Tell Mason what you've been telling me.
772
01:16:56,714 --> 01:16:58,909
I want to hear Mason's views on all this.
773
01:17:00,418 --> 01:17:02,682
I think Mason's views will be predictable.
774
01:17:05,189 --> 01:17:07,521
y God! There it is...
775
01:17:09,260 --> 01:17:13,458
...a proto-human. The first and
the original truly human form.
776
01:17:14,832 --> 01:17:18,232
Tiny. Perhaps four feet high.
Completely furred.
777
01:17:18,668 --> 01:17:22,365
Chimp-like, but erect.
No knuckle walking. Shorter arms.
778
01:17:22,439 --> 01:17:27,138
He's moving along so gracefully.
There's two, three of them.
779
01:17:28,545 --> 01:17:30,172
Bipedal, tiny...
780
01:17:38,421 --> 01:17:40,821
i'm killing...
781
01:17:40,890 --> 01:17:42,858
i'm killing something, a goat.
782
01:17:43,393 --> 01:17:45,088
i'm killing...
783
01:17:45,428 --> 01:17:48,158
...i'm eating hot flesh.
784
01:17:48,431 --> 01:17:50,262
i'm eating the blood of a goat.
785
01:17:54,371 --> 01:17:55,599
Are you okay?
786
01:17:56,506 --> 01:17:57,495
Beautiful.
787
01:17:57,607 --> 01:17:58,732
Beautiful.
788
01:17:59,174 --> 01:18:01,404
it sounded like he was having
a bad trip to me.
789
01:18:01,477 --> 01:18:04,037
Some of these tank trips can get
pretty creepy.
790
01:18:06,815 --> 01:18:08,339
What the hell was that?
791
01:19:03,404 --> 01:19:05,065
Did I wake you? It's Emily.
792
01:19:06,174 --> 01:19:09,109
Eddie, I'm in a kind of wild panic.
I need to talk to you.
793
01:19:21,855 --> 01:19:23,846
I don't know how even
to put this into words...
794
01:19:23,924 --> 01:19:26,222
...but I'm beginning to think
what happened to you was...
795
01:19:26,293 --> 01:19:28,284
...not just a hallucinatory experience.
796
01:19:28,361 --> 01:19:32,297
I've got this gut feeling that something
phenomenological did actually happen...
797
01:19:32,365 --> 01:19:34,993
...that there was some kind
of genetic transformation.
798
01:19:35,235 --> 01:19:38,602
I don't know why I think this is
in defiance of all rationality, but I do...
799
01:19:38,672 --> 01:19:42,130
...and now that I do, I'm terrified.
I mean really terrified. Petrified.
800
01:19:42,209 --> 01:19:43,301
So am I.
801
01:19:43,376 --> 01:19:45,537
I don't want you doing
this experiment again next week.
802
01:19:45,612 --> 01:19:47,079
I have to find out if it actually happened.
803
01:19:47,147 --> 01:19:48,774
I'm asking you to put the experiment off...
804
01:19:48,849 --> 01:19:50,817
...till we understand it more
to minimize the risk.
805
01:19:50,884 --> 01:19:53,580
You can't. You have to work back
from the event itself.
806
01:19:53,653 --> 01:19:56,281
But you may be causing yourself
irreversible genetic damage!
807
01:19:56,356 --> 01:19:57,550
We're not dealing with genetics!
808
01:19:57,624 --> 01:19:59,819
We're beyond mass and matter here,
beyond even energy.
809
01:19:59,893 --> 01:20:01,951
What we're back to is the first thought.
810
01:20:03,362 --> 01:20:05,159
I'm trying to tell you I love you.
811
01:20:06,332 --> 01:20:07,560
I know that.
812
01:20:08,868 --> 01:20:12,565
And I'm trying to tell you,
this is an all-bets-are-off sort of thing.
813
01:20:12,705 --> 01:20:16,197
We may be opening a black box that may
scrap our whole picture of space-time.
814
01:20:16,275 --> 01:20:18,436
We might even have a link
to another universe.
815
01:20:18,511 --> 01:20:21,776
For God's sake, you're a scientist.
You must know how I feel.
816
01:20:24,483 --> 01:20:26,383
Yes, I know how you feel.
817
01:20:29,488 --> 01:20:32,150
It's very late.
Would you like to stay here tonight?
818
01:20:34,760 --> 01:20:37,991
I could do with a little love
and a little reassurance right now.
819
01:20:39,298 --> 01:20:40,697
You'll stay, won't you?
820
01:21:19,103 --> 01:21:22,402
If I come out of that tank anthropoid,
I'll be in a very primitive state...
821
01:21:22,473 --> 01:21:26,238
...and impossible to relate to,
so sedate me while I'm still in the tank...
822
01:21:26,310 --> 01:21:29,336
...otherwise you'll have to chase me around
and subdue me.
823
01:21:30,948 --> 01:21:33,644
You come out of that tank
looking like an ape...
824
01:21:33,717 --> 01:21:36,481
...I'm going over to Mass. Mental
and commit myself.
825
01:21:37,621 --> 01:21:40,089
If it happens, we'll bring him down
with a big bolus of Amytal.
826
01:21:40,157 --> 01:21:43,490
What do you mean if it happens?
Everybody keeps saying if it happens!
827
01:21:43,694 --> 01:21:47,721
Do you think something is gonna happen?
Because if you do, I'd like to know.
828
01:21:49,333 --> 01:21:51,358
I'm sorry. I'm just nervous as hell.
829
01:21:51,768 --> 01:21:52,894
Listen, so am I.
830
01:22:56,865 --> 01:22:57,991
Anything happen?
831
01:22:58,600 --> 01:23:00,659
I just checked him 10 minutes ago.
832
01:23:01,803 --> 01:23:03,532
Did you order chicken or turkey?
833
01:23:03,605 --> 01:23:05,300
I hope chicken is all right.
834
01:23:05,373 --> 01:23:07,705
I've got nearly 11:00.
That's more than two hours now.
835
01:23:07,776 --> 01:23:09,539
I think we should stop this.
836
01:23:10,378 --> 01:23:11,936
Frankly, I'm really frightened!
837
01:23:12,013 --> 01:23:14,038
We could be screwing up
his whole genetic structure!
838
01:23:14,115 --> 01:23:15,776
Now how do we stop this?
839
01:23:15,884 --> 01:23:18,045
- Can you bring him down?
- He's gonna be sore as hell.
840
01:23:18,119 --> 01:23:19,484
We should never have let him do it!
841
01:23:19,554 --> 01:23:21,852
I don't know how we let him
talk us into this.
842
01:23:21,923 --> 01:23:23,982
We were humoring him,
but we know he's not crazy...
843
01:23:24,059 --> 01:23:25,549
...and we all know, deep in our hearts...
844
01:23:25,627 --> 01:23:28,561
...he may be onto something
beyond our own comprehension!
845
01:23:28,629 --> 01:23:31,496
Now, because I believe him,
I want this thing stopped!
846
01:31:19,088 --> 01:31:20,487
His signs are all good.
847
01:31:20,556 --> 01:31:22,524
He'll sleep a day or two,
come out a bit stuporous.
848
01:31:22,591 --> 01:31:24,582
He's got a whopping load of drugs in him.
849
01:31:24,660 --> 01:31:27,356
It's not uncommon
for a psychedelic experience like this...
850
01:31:27,430 --> 01:31:28,454
...to whack you out.
851
01:31:28,531 --> 01:31:30,863
You'd hardly call this
just a psychedelic experience.
852
01:31:31,000 --> 01:31:33,195
His heart is good. His pressure is good.
853
01:31:33,269 --> 01:31:35,533
I'm more worried about you
than I am about him.
854
01:31:35,604 --> 01:31:36,662
I'm all right.
855
01:31:44,879 --> 01:31:47,905
Of all the goddamn men in this whole
world, why do I have to love this one?
856
01:31:47,982 --> 01:31:49,449
I can't get him out of me.
857
01:31:50,151 --> 01:31:52,949
Do you know how many men
I tried to fall in love with this past year?
858
01:31:53,021 --> 01:31:56,286
No matter who I'm in bed with, I have
to imagine it's him or nothing happens.
859
01:31:56,357 --> 01:31:58,348
No matter who I'm eating with
or walking with...
860
01:31:58,426 --> 01:32:00,951
...there's always this pain
because it isn't him.
861
01:32:01,663 --> 01:32:03,358
I'm possessed by him.
862
01:32:07,168 --> 01:32:08,635
Oh, it's crazy!
863
01:32:10,305 --> 01:32:12,364
I think that's the way it's supposed to be.
864
01:32:12,440 --> 01:32:13,668
But he doesn't give a damn about me!
865
01:32:13,741 --> 01:32:16,676
You're the only thing he cares about
outside of his work.
866
01:32:18,613 --> 01:32:22,014
I was never real to him. Nothing in
the human condition was ever real to him.
867
01:32:22,083 --> 01:32:23,345
He's a truth lover.
868
01:32:23,885 --> 01:32:27,752
Reality to Eddie is only that
which is changeless, immutably constant.
869
01:32:28,789 --> 01:32:31,781
What happened to Eddie tonight,
that was Eddie's idea of love.
870
01:32:33,794 --> 01:32:35,455
That's consummation.
871
01:32:36,630 --> 01:32:39,121
He finally got it off with God.
872
01:32:39,199 --> 01:32:43,568
He finally embraced the Absolute,
was finally ravished by Truth...
873
01:32:43,637 --> 01:32:45,730
...and it goddamned near destroyed him!
874
01:32:48,041 --> 01:32:50,271
He never loved me.
You knew him as well as I did.
875
01:32:50,344 --> 01:32:53,404
We were all bits
of transitory matter to him.
876
01:32:56,049 --> 01:32:59,541
All right, now, you're going into shock.
I'm going to get you something.
877
01:33:14,233 --> 01:33:17,498
We reached a point tonight
where physical science just breaks down.
878
01:33:17,570 --> 01:33:19,060
We're in blue skies!
879
01:33:19,372 --> 01:33:21,966
Tonight was history,
and what are we going to do about it?
880
01:33:22,375 --> 01:33:24,343
I'm going to do nothing about it!
881
01:33:24,644 --> 01:33:26,202
Tonight scared the hell out of me!
882
01:33:26,279 --> 01:33:27,906
That tank just blew up!
883
01:33:28,247 --> 01:33:31,774
Whatever happened inside that tank
released a hell of a lot of energy.
884
01:33:32,618 --> 01:33:36,418
For God's sake, let's drop this goddamn
thing. I don't want to talk about it.
885
01:33:36,489 --> 01:33:39,390
I can't help it!
You may want to go to sleep...
886
01:33:39,492 --> 01:33:42,290
...but the way I feel
I don't expect to go to sleep for a year!
887
01:33:42,361 --> 01:33:44,329
I'm on fucking fire!
888
01:33:44,931 --> 01:33:48,889
I am in there mopping up the goddamned
tank room and I would like to know why!
889
01:33:49,367 --> 01:33:51,392
Do you believe in supernatural agencies?
890
01:33:51,469 --> 01:33:52,800
No, sir, I do not!
891
01:33:53,471 --> 01:33:56,668
Then what we saw tonight was
a physical phenomenon...
892
01:33:56,741 --> 01:33:59,471
...an inexplicable physical phenomenon!
893
01:33:59,544 --> 01:34:02,308
If it's phenomenological,
then it's explicable. I have to know why.
894
01:34:02,380 --> 01:34:03,244
Let me talk!
895
01:34:03,315 --> 01:34:04,748
I've been mopping that tank room...
896
01:34:04,816 --> 01:34:07,444
...for the last three hours
and I've had it! Leave me alone!
897
01:34:07,519 --> 01:34:10,716
I would like to tell you
what I would like to do!
898
01:34:10,922 --> 01:34:13,413
We have got to repeat this
with other human subjects!
899
01:34:13,491 --> 01:34:14,958
We need a selective sample!
900
01:34:15,026 --> 01:34:18,052
We will put up a notice
in the Student Union for volunteers!
901
01:34:18,263 --> 01:34:21,232
And get five or six subjects
and go back to square one with them...
902
01:34:21,299 --> 01:34:22,926
...and step up the doses of the drug...
903
01:34:23,001 --> 01:34:26,198
...in a graduated fashion
and check them against Eddie's values!
904
01:34:26,805 --> 01:34:29,898
We could even get a grant,
for Christ's sake!
905
01:34:32,810 --> 01:34:36,644
And here you are, willing to use an
untested drug on innocent human beings!
906
01:34:37,014 --> 01:34:38,311
Please stop shouting!
907
01:34:47,758 --> 01:34:48,816
How are you?
908
01:34:50,294 --> 01:34:52,228
Would you like to go back to sleep?
909
01:34:54,231 --> 01:34:55,357
Yes.
910
01:34:56,667 --> 01:34:59,602
Would you mind if Mason had
a quick look at you first?
911
01:35:01,438 --> 01:35:02,632
Good idea.
912
01:35:06,143 --> 01:35:08,441
Maybe you ought to have
a quick look at him.
913
01:36:11,707 --> 01:36:13,299
Oh, I hope it isn't the kids.
914
01:36:14,910 --> 01:36:15,968
Hello?
915
01:36:19,815 --> 01:36:21,942
Everything's fine, Arthur. He's fine.
916
01:36:22,784 --> 01:36:24,513
It's Arthur. Are you fine?
917
01:36:26,588 --> 01:36:29,614
I'll call you back when I'm more awake.
Everything is fine.
918
01:36:34,862 --> 01:36:36,591
God, I wonder what time it is.
919
01:36:38,332 --> 01:36:39,765
I should call the kids.
920
01:36:41,502 --> 01:36:43,800
I can't tell you
how much you mean to me...
921
01:36:44,271 --> 01:36:47,763
...how much I need you and the kids.
I just wanted you to know that.
922
01:36:48,042 --> 01:36:51,273
You saved me. You redeemed me
from the pit. I was in it, Emily.
923
01:36:51,979 --> 01:36:54,675
I was in that ultimate moment of terror...
924
01:36:54,749 --> 01:36:56,717
...that is the beginning of life.
925
01:36:56,951 --> 01:36:58,145
It is nothing.
926
01:36:59,553 --> 01:37:01,521
Simple, hideous nothing.
927
01:37:03,290 --> 01:37:06,748
The final truth of all things is
that there is no final Truth.
928
01:37:08,629 --> 01:37:12,258
Truth is what's transitory.
It's human life that is real.
929
01:37:12,333 --> 01:37:13,459
I don't want to frighten you...
930
01:37:13,534 --> 01:37:16,366
...but what I'm trying to tell you is
that moment of terror...
931
01:37:16,436 --> 01:37:19,837
...is a real and living horror,
living and growing within me now...
932
01:37:20,940 --> 01:37:24,000
...and the only thing that keeps it
from devouring me is you.
933
01:37:24,244 --> 01:37:26,212
Why don't you just come back to us?
934
01:37:28,948 --> 01:37:32,475
It's too late.
I don't think I can get out of it anymore.
935
01:37:33,553 --> 01:37:36,044
I can't live with it. The pain is too great.
936
01:37:44,664 --> 01:37:45,824
Defy it, Eddie!
937
01:37:45,899 --> 01:37:48,333
You made it real. You can make it unreal!
938
01:37:48,802 --> 01:37:50,235
If you love me, Eddie...
939
01:37:50,470 --> 01:37:51,459
...if you love me!
940
01:37:51,538 --> 01:37:53,267
Eddie! Defy it!
941
01:39:39,910 --> 01:39:41,172
I love you, Emily.
79087
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