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1
00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:08,167
Hey, Robert, I forgot
my yoga mat upstairs.
2
00:00:08,167 --> 00:00:09,417
- Mwah!
- I can get it for you.
3
00:00:09,417 --> 00:00:11,000
Don't be silly,
I'II get it.
4
00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:21,959
- What is going on?!
- Adriana!
5
00:00:21,959 --> 00:00:26,669
Adriana, this is...
Well, this is embarrassing.
6
00:00:26,669 --> 00:00:29,169
- My Spanish teacher.
- Sure, she is.
7
00:00:29,169 --> 00:00:31,169
No, we were just working on
ordering scrambled eggs.
8
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:49,211
- Why are you not dead?
- Because it's not
what it looks like.
9
00:00:52,421 --> 00:00:56,837
What it looks like is two hot
chicks waving their arms around.
10
00:00:58,379 --> 00:01:01,004
- What are they saying?
- I have no idea.
11
00:01:01,004 --> 00:01:02,379
I'm listening for key words.
12
00:01:02,379 --> 00:01:05,462
Wait, the ''Great Latino Hope''
doesn't speak Spanish?
13
00:01:05,462 --> 00:01:09,713
Awkward, right? My parents
thought an accent would
hold me back,
14
00:01:09,713 --> 00:01:11,547
so no one spoke
Spanish at home.
15
00:01:11,547 --> 00:01:13,547
I hear you
on that one, man.
16
00:01:13,547 --> 00:01:15,630
My house was an
Ebonics-free zone.
17
00:01:15,630 --> 00:01:18,630
- Strictly enforced.
- Really? That's amazing.
18
00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:22,006
No ''Que pasas'' for me,
no ''Sup, dawgs?'' for you?
19
00:01:22,006 --> 00:01:24,381
- How'd the hell did we survive?
- We became Republicans.
20
00:01:54,216 --> 00:01:57,050
I can do it. I can do it,
I'm not helpless.
21
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,133
That's the spirit.
22
00:01:58,133 --> 00:02:01,509
There you go, Half Windsor,
just the way you like it.
23
00:02:01,509 --> 00:02:04,592
Louise, what did we agree
about spittle-pats?
24
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:07,176
OK, OK, elder cranky pants!
25
00:02:07,176 --> 00:02:09,576
Oh, easy, easy, easy.
26
00:02:09,576 --> 00:02:13,159
Hey, Louis, you don't
mind if I stash these
suits up here, do you?
27
00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:16,552
We got a herd of wild-ass
Christians assembling
downstairs.
28
00:02:16,552 --> 00:02:20,552
No Jews? Rose said
there'd be Jews.
29
00:02:18,952 --> 00:02:21,552
I don't know, man,
I don't see creed.
30
00:02:21,552 --> 00:02:22,802
- Hey, Julie.
- Senator.
31
00:02:22,802 --> 00:02:24,968
You're boss was explaining
to me that you have a little bit
32
00:02:24,968 --> 00:02:27,177
of a love deficit,
and I want you to know
33
00:02:27,177 --> 00:02:29,803
- that I am on the case.
- No, no, no, please.
34
00:02:29,803 --> 00:02:32,428
- No, senator...
- No, no need to thank me.
35
00:02:32,428 --> 00:02:36,719
Huh? I'm already
bouncing around a few ideas.
36
00:02:36,719 --> 00:02:37,636
- We'll taIk.
- Sir...
37
00:02:38,928 --> 00:02:41,303
I told him you
weren't interested.
38
00:02:41,303 --> 00:02:42,887
He wouldn't hear of it.
39
00:02:42,887 --> 00:02:44,804
Julie, could you go warm
up the guests
40
00:02:44,804 --> 00:02:46,574
and check their
names against the list?
41
00:02:46,574 --> 00:02:47,720
Why, who'd crash
a prayer brunch?
42
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:48,845
You'd be surprised, senator.
43
00:02:48,845 --> 00:02:50,637
Prayers become quite
competitive on the Hill.
44
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,012
- James.
- Ma'am?
45
00:02:52,012 --> 00:02:54,429
Time to start tweeting.
46
00:02:54,429 --> 00:02:57,721
Sir? That was out of line.
47
00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:00,305
She'll thank me later.
48
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:03,013
Can I say it's being
hosted by a Democrat?
49
00:03:03,013 --> 00:03:04,430
If you create context.
50
00:03:04,430 --> 00:03:06,013
A tweet's only
140 characters.
51
00:03:06,013 --> 00:03:08,638
One tweet for content,
one for context.
52
00:03:08,638 --> 00:03:10,306
Yeah, of course.
53
00:03:12,722 --> 00:03:15,431
- Senator Armiston, welcome!
54
00:03:15,431 --> 00:03:17,806
- Senator Laffer will be so...
- Hey, you gonna help me set up.
55
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:20,014
- Set up? This isn't catered?
- Right, catered.
56
00:03:20,014 --> 00:03:22,347
- Oh.
- Julie, would you check on
the hot hors d'oeuvres?
57
00:03:22,347 --> 00:03:23,973
Oh, I'm sorry, senator,
I'm just...
58
00:03:23,973 --> 00:03:26,848
I'm a little bit busy.
Perhaps you could...
59
00:03:26,848 --> 00:03:29,807
...ask someone
from your own staff.
60
00:03:33,140 --> 00:03:35,515
I want you to start
on that side of the room.
61
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:37,641
Get a comment
about Senator Laffer
62
00:03:37,641 --> 00:03:39,474
from each guest,
and be sure...
63
00:03:39,474 --> 00:03:41,266
James, listen to me.
64
00:03:41,266 --> 00:03:44,474
Be absolutely sure to disclose
you're tweeting what they say.
65
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,683
No spinning.
And for God's sake, no snark.
66
00:03:47,683 --> 00:03:50,141
It's a prayer brunch.
67
00:03:50,141 --> 00:03:53,725
Doesn't the phrase,
''prayer brunch'' sort
of sound like snark?
68
00:03:53,725 --> 00:03:55,225
Like a swipe at liberaIs?
69
00:03:55,225 --> 00:03:57,100
Yeah, I suppose so.
70
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:59,475
But that's
Senator DuPeche's problem.
71
00:03:59,475 --> 00:04:02,017
Nothing by drama ever since I
arrived. Speaking of which...
72
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:05,018
- Yeah?
- You'll be nice today, right?
73
00:04:05,018 --> 00:04:08,393
- I'm always nice.
- I know, but it's
mixed company.
74
00:04:08,393 --> 00:04:13,935
If we can't put our dukes
down during a prayer circle,
there's no hope.
75
00:04:13,935 --> 00:04:14,935
- Hmm.
- We're just here for Louis.
76
00:04:14,935 --> 00:04:19,144
Rozzy, I promise you, I will
not be the problem today.
77
00:04:19,144 --> 00:04:21,769
Hey, Tess!
78
00:04:23,019 --> 00:04:25,436
There's gonna be a problem?
79
00:04:25,436 --> 00:04:26,727
Sir? You wanted to know
80
00:04:26,727 --> 00:04:28,686
when Senator Armiston arrived?
81
00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:30,561
Hey, Gil John,
what's up, big guy?
82
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,270
No, I can't,
Carly just got here,
83
00:04:32,270 --> 00:04:34,187
I want to work her a little bit
before we get started.
84
00:04:34,187 --> 00:04:35,562
I'll get Andy to do it.
85
00:04:35,562 --> 00:04:37,103
Noproblemo.
86
00:04:37,103 --> 00:04:39,353
Would you mind taking a few
beers out to Gil John?
87
00:04:39,353 --> 00:04:40,978
Um, OK.
88
00:04:48,646 --> 00:04:51,063
- Hey.
- Thanks, man.
89
00:04:51,063 --> 00:04:55,229
- Want one?
- Sure. Why not?
90
00:04:57,063 --> 00:05:00,522
- You're not coming in?
- No, I hate those things.
91
00:05:00,522 --> 00:05:03,480
I always thought prayer
should be spontaneous.
92
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,105
- And private.
- Why, what do you pray for?
93
00:05:07,147 --> 00:05:09,855
Buzzer-beaters,
parking spaces,
94
00:05:09,855 --> 00:05:11,564
sex with check-out girls.
95
00:05:11,564 --> 00:05:12,898
Nothing I'm proud of.
96
00:05:12,898 --> 00:05:15,023
What's wrong with sex
with check-out girls?
97
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,148
The point is, a man should
be able to pray for something
98
00:05:17,148 --> 00:05:19,898
whether it's a big-ticket
item like racial harmony
99
00:05:19,898 --> 00:05:22,565
or something pissant,
like a good poker hand,
100
00:05:22,565 --> 00:05:24,731
without people all up
in his grill, judging them.
101
00:05:24,731 --> 00:05:28,857
Well, Gil, I don't think
prayer's just about asking
for particular outcomes.
102
00:05:28,857 --> 00:05:31,566
Sure as hell was
in my locker room.
103
00:05:31,566 --> 00:05:33,149
You oughtta know
about that, man.
104
00:05:33,149 --> 00:05:35,936
You threw footballs
for Florida State, right?
105
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,856
Funny you should
bring it up in that context.
106
00:05:37,856 --> 00:05:40,983
The faithful at State
had a nickname for me.
107
00:05:40,983 --> 00:05:43,305
- What was that, Andy?
- ''God.''
108
00:05:43,305 --> 00:05:46,192
- God, huh?
- Yeah. I was pretty good.
109
00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:53,525
Carly. A minute?
110
00:05:53,525 --> 00:05:56,651
Robert! You've changed your mind
about being seen with me?
111
00:05:56,651 --> 00:05:59,943
Yeah, it's a prayer meeting.
No problem. Listen, about the
ethics committee hearing...
112
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,734
- Stop right there.
- I know, I know, I know.
113
00:06:01,734 --> 00:06:04,068
But in the sanctity
of prayerful fellowship,
114
00:06:04,068 --> 00:06:06,484
I am telling you,
it's a bum rap.
115
00:06:06,484 --> 00:06:08,569
- We cannot talk about this.
- Carly, they are accusing me
116
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,444
of taking expensive suits.
117
00:06:10,444 --> 00:06:12,985
Mohair suits. You could
go upstairs to my room.
118
00:06:12,985 --> 00:06:14,319
You would no find
one hair of mo.
119
00:06:14,319 --> 00:06:16,444
I'm sorry, Robert.
120
00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:19,902
- I'm allergic to mohair.
121
00:06:19,902 --> 00:06:23,320
Ladies and gentlemen,
if I may have your attention.
122
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:26,361
Your attention, please.
123
00:06:26,361 --> 00:06:28,990
At this time,
it is my great privilege
124
00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:31,461
to officially welcome
home my boss...
125
00:06:31,461 --> 00:06:36,154
And my dear friend,
Louis Laffer.
126
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,737
Thank you.
127
00:06:45,737 --> 00:06:47,612
Thank you, my friends.
128
00:06:50,447 --> 00:06:52,030
Thank you.
129
00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:54,405
Senator, if you could
just look at James.
130
00:06:54,405 --> 00:06:55,697
It's for your Twitter feed.
131
00:06:55,697 --> 00:07:00,072
Hi, twits.
It's an honor to be back.
132
00:07:00,072 --> 00:07:02,072
Sir, the salute isn't
really appropriate
133
00:07:02,072 --> 00:07:05,323
unless you've been
in the service,
or you're president.
134
00:07:05,323 --> 00:07:07,448
- Louis, let me show you where
you'll be sitting.
135
00:07:07,448 --> 00:07:09,489
He already knows, senator,
we've worked that out.
136
00:07:09,489 --> 00:07:11,906
Right here.
137
00:07:11,906 --> 00:07:15,656
Now, don't go fussing over me.
138
00:07:15,656 --> 00:07:17,240
All it takes is a
few deviled eggs,
139
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,824
an iced tea with two Splenda
to make me happy as a clam.
140
00:07:19,824 --> 00:07:21,365
- James!
- Uh, right here.
141
00:07:21,365 --> 00:07:23,449
The senator
needs some eggs.
142
00:07:23,449 --> 00:07:25,057
And an iced tea.
143
00:07:25,057 --> 00:07:28,357
Two Splendas.
144
00:07:27,157 --> 00:07:29,282
Copy that, sir.
145
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,283
Where's Senator Biggs?
Haven't seen him.
146
00:07:34,283 --> 00:07:37,325
He's out in his car,
watching the game.
147
00:07:37,325 --> 00:07:38,935
He doesn't like
prayer meetings.
148
00:07:38,935 --> 00:07:41,275
You have such
an interesting boss.
149
00:07:40,075 --> 00:07:42,825
Trade him
for yours in a second.
150
00:07:42,825 --> 00:07:45,067
Listen, you wanna
go upstairs?
151
00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:47,492
We won't be missed.
152
00:07:49,826 --> 00:07:52,409
- What's upstairs?
- Me, in about two minutes.
153
00:07:52,409 --> 00:07:54,534
Door at
the end of the hall.
154
00:08:03,035 --> 00:08:05,952
Oh, you looked
so hot down there.
155
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:08,952
- Eating waffles is hot?
- I'm a farm girl.
156
00:08:08,952 --> 00:08:12,078
We spend a lot of time
watching guys eat.
157
00:08:13,328 --> 00:08:16,494
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Not here, not here.
158
00:08:16,494 --> 00:08:19,244
Um...
159
00:08:20,494 --> 00:08:22,994
- Seriously?
- It's like a cozy little
tent in here.
160
00:08:22,994 --> 00:08:25,279
- Just like camping.
- I don't like camping.
161
00:08:25,331 --> 00:08:28,079
How do you know
until you've tried?
162
00:08:28,079 --> 00:08:30,204
Bring a pillow.
163
00:08:34,079 --> 00:08:35,912
So I've got this idea
for a bill.
164
00:08:35,912 --> 00:08:39,830
- A bill? You?
- I know, unlikely.
165
00:08:39,830 --> 00:08:41,163
But I gotta get some
points on the board.
166
00:08:41,163 --> 00:08:44,246
You got no chance.
None.
167
00:08:44,246 --> 00:08:46,413
You heard we're in
the minority, right?
168
00:08:46,413 --> 00:08:50,080
Here's my idea:
a national holiday for veterans.
169
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,164
That's a great idea, Andy.
170
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:55,047
- So great we already have one.
- No, no, a new one.
171
00:08:55,047 --> 00:08:58,206
To honor the veterans from
the global war on terror.
172
00:08:58,206 --> 00:09:00,039
There's almost
three million of 'em.
173
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,831
You've also got your
first responders,
174
00:09:01,831 --> 00:09:05,122
your NSA, your TSA,
all the spawn of 9-11,
175
00:09:05,122 --> 00:09:07,540
that's a million more.
176
00:09:07,540 --> 00:09:09,457
They deserve their own day.
177
00:09:09,457 --> 00:09:12,790
''Global War on Terror
Veterans Day?''
178
00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:14,707
GWoT-VD2. You get it?
179
00:09:14,707 --> 00:09:17,332
Sounds like a sexually
transmitted disease.
180
00:09:17,332 --> 00:09:19,208
That's funny, Gil.
181
00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:21,083
But here's the genius part:
182
00:09:21,083 --> 00:09:23,583
It's an unpaid holiday.
183
00:09:23,583 --> 00:09:27,791
That's calling back a day
of pay from the entire
federal workforce.
184
00:09:27,791 --> 00:09:29,541
Our side will love it
because of the savings.
185
00:09:29,541 --> 00:09:32,374
The Democrats will love it
because it's a holiday.
186
00:09:32,374 --> 00:09:34,792
It's win-win... win.
187
00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:36,834
- Who's the third win?
- Me.
188
00:09:36,834 --> 00:09:39,209
And you.
If you co-sponsor.
189
00:09:39,209 --> 00:09:41,834
- A holiday, huh?
- that cuts the budget.
190
00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:44,584
You caught me in
my wheelhouse, man.
191
00:09:48,293 --> 00:09:50,085
Well, they're
starting soon.
192
00:09:50,085 --> 00:09:52,626
Hey, would you like me
to send you out a plate?
193
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,626
- I would, Andy, thank you.
- All right.
194
00:09:55,626 --> 00:09:59,085
GWoT-VD2.
195
00:10:01,711 --> 00:10:04,086
Well, hello, James.
196
00:10:04,086 --> 00:10:05,711
Why aren't you at
the prayer circle?
197
00:10:05,711 --> 00:10:07,836
I am. I'm live-tweeting it.
198
00:10:07,836 --> 00:10:09,669
You don't look like
you're tweeting to me.
199
00:10:09,669 --> 00:10:13,169
I'm on break. Social media takes
a lot of concentration.
200
00:10:13,169 --> 00:10:15,503
-Oh, I imagine it does.
- Not that I'm complaining.
201
00:10:15,503 --> 00:10:18,087
Of course not. You chose
a life of service.
202
00:10:18,087 --> 00:10:22,587
I'm just... I'm just glad
that you're sharing your
break with me.
203
00:10:22,587 --> 00:10:24,920
I like sharing things with you.
204
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,796
I wish we could
share more, James.
205
00:10:27,796 --> 00:10:29,838
- That would be a blessing.
- I know.
206
00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:31,921
Sometimes, I...
No, never mind.
207
00:10:31,921 --> 00:10:34,004
No, what?
What were you gonna say?
208
00:10:34,004 --> 00:10:36,504
Weää, I... Sometimes I
make GIFs of you.
209
00:10:36,504 --> 00:10:41,505
Little loops from our chats,
so I cans see you talk to me
whenever I want.
210
00:10:41,505 --> 00:10:43,880
That's weird, isn't it?
I'll stop.
211
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,547
No, no, no, don't stop, James.
GIFs are a gift.
212
00:10:46,547 --> 00:10:50,505
It means I can be with you
even when you're far away.
213
00:10:50,505 --> 00:10:54,881
Let's... Let's make
a new GIF together.
214
00:10:54,881 --> 00:10:56,215
Would you like that, James?
215
00:10:56,215 --> 00:10:59,048
Um... Very much, Lola.
216
00:10:59,048 --> 00:11:03,798
Um, but this is an
office laptop. Let me
put in my thumb drive.
217
00:11:07,173 --> 00:11:11,216
Come to me, beloved.
Feed among my lilies.
218
00:11:11,216 --> 00:11:16,174
Are you recording?
219
00:11:16,174 --> 00:11:20,132
Hey. Do I detect
my wife's handiwork?
220
00:11:20,132 --> 00:11:22,007
Maybe you do,
maybe you don't.
221
00:11:22,007 --> 00:11:24,133
I think I do.
222
00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:26,508
You... made coasters.
223
00:11:26,508 --> 00:11:30,258
Well, it's your big
day and I wanted to pitch in.
224
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,467
Brothers and sisters in prayer,
225
00:11:33,467 --> 00:11:35,425
if you would all join us
here in the living room,
226
00:11:35,425 --> 00:11:39,968
- we can get started.
- Everyone, your names
are on your seats.
227
00:11:39,968 --> 00:11:43,134
Ignore them. There's
no assigned seating.
228
00:11:43,134 --> 00:11:46,968
OK, we'll see
how that works out.
229
00:11:49,301 --> 00:11:52,510
- Louis,
- Paul, so glad to see you.
230
00:11:52,510 --> 00:11:54,344
Sorry, Paul,
you're in my seat.
231
00:11:54,344 --> 00:11:57,102
- I thought you said...
- Paul, I'm not in the mood.
232
00:11:57,102 --> 00:12:01,260
This side is for the cool kids,
Paul. You're over there.
233
00:12:03,636 --> 00:12:05,678
Hi.
234
00:12:08,053 --> 00:12:10,260
Let's get started.
Chaplain, Teeter.
235
00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:12,345
Let us pray.
236
00:12:13,386 --> 00:12:17,054
Settle down, caterers.
237
00:12:17,054 --> 00:12:19,387
Thank you.
238
00:12:21,137 --> 00:12:22,804
That's for after.
239
00:12:22,804 --> 00:12:25,398
Should've thought of that
before you opened the bar.
240
00:12:25,398 --> 00:12:29,262
We are gathered here today
in profound gratitude
241
00:12:29,262 --> 00:12:31,930
for Louis's safe return home.
242
00:12:31,930 --> 00:12:37,930
Although he sustained a most
grievous wound while serving
his country abroad...
243
00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:41,276
Please, chaplain.
I'm no hero.
244
00:12:41,276 --> 00:12:45,139
In your mercy, you have restored
him to his family and friends.
245
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:48,348
And for that,
we offer thanks.
246
00:12:48,348 --> 00:12:51,014
So now we ask you
to hear our prayers
247
00:12:51,014 --> 00:12:52,889
that we humbly
offer here today
248
00:12:52,889 --> 00:12:54,764
- Amen.
- [all] Amen.
249
00:12:54,764 --> 00:12:56,014
Very nice, chaplain.
250
00:12:56,014 --> 00:12:58,890
Louise, would you like
to start us off?
251
00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,474
Oh, no, thank you, Rosalyn.
252
00:13:00,474 --> 00:13:02,337
It's OK, honey,
you can go first.
253
00:13:02,337 --> 00:13:05,640
- It's not like at home.
- You sure?
254
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:06,974
OK...
255
00:13:09,015 --> 00:13:12,975
Dear, Lord, all of us
in the Laffer family,
256
00:13:12,975 --> 00:13:16,766
Lola and Lorna and Lori and I,
257
00:13:16,766 --> 00:13:20,016
are so glad to have
our little giant home.
258
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:21,816
Take care, God. Amen.
259
00:13:21,816 --> 00:13:23,933
- Amen.
- Amen.
260
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,225
[all] Amen.
261
00:13:25,225 --> 00:13:28,392
- Paul.
- Rosalyn.
262
00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:32,351
I, too, appreciate brother
Louis's sacrifices,
263
00:13:32,351 --> 00:13:34,309
but the god that I pray to
264
00:13:34,309 --> 00:13:36,281
demands nothing less
in his service.
265
00:13:36,281 --> 00:13:38,393
Even as we throw him
out of our public life,
266
00:13:38,393 --> 00:13:41,518
out of our schools,
out of our hospitals,
267
00:13:41,518 --> 00:13:44,602
where we slaughter unborn
children by the millions...
268
00:13:44,602 --> 00:13:47,518
- This is a brunch.
- Ripping them from the wombs
269
00:13:47,518 --> 00:13:49,643
- of fallen women...
- Are you kidding me?
270
00:13:49,643 --> 00:13:52,501
- ...we beg your mercy...
- Chaplain, I would like a
chance to respond to this!
271
00:13:52,501 --> 00:13:56,228
- I can't just...
- ...on these pitiful souls!
272
00:13:56,228 --> 00:14:00,144
Through Jesus Christ,
our Lord.
273
00:14:00,144 --> 00:14:02,519
- Amen.
274
00:14:02,519 --> 00:14:05,344
[all] Amen.
275
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,770
Lemar, how about
a musical interlude?
276
00:14:07,770 --> 00:14:12,035
I thought you'd
never ask, Rosalyn.
277
00:14:12,035 --> 00:14:16,532
Louis, your tribuIations at
the hands of Satan's host
278
00:14:16,532 --> 00:14:21,688
lend a special resonance
to this long-time favorite.
279
00:14:24,212 --> 00:14:25,771
Enjoy.
280
00:14:27,813 --> 00:14:30,396
- Where you going?
- Don't worry,
I'll be right back.
281
00:14:30,396 --> 00:14:32,438
Make it quick.
You're on in two minutes.
282
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,314
- Not according to the program.
- That's Julie's schedule.
283
00:14:34,314 --> 00:14:37,147
- That's not the official one.
- I'll be right back.
284
00:14:37,147 --> 00:14:40,507
♪ Onward Christian soldiers
285
00:14:40,507 --> 00:14:43,439
♪ Marching as to war
286
00:14:43,439 --> 00:14:47,397
♪ With the cross of Jesus
287
00:14:47,397 --> 00:14:51,065
♪ Going on before
288
00:14:51,065 --> 00:14:54,232
♪ Christ the royal master
289
00:14:54,232 --> 00:14:58,084
♪ Leads against the foe
290
00:14:58,084 --> 00:15:01,724
♪ Forward into battle
291
00:15:00,523 --> 00:15:05,316
♪ See his banners go
Onward... ♪
292
00:15:05,316 --> 00:15:07,899
Everybody, you know this part.
Sing along.
293
00:15:09,892 --> 00:15:13,241
[all singing]
* Onward, Christian soldiers
294
00:15:13,241 --> 00:15:16,692
♪ Marching as to war
295
00:15:16,692 --> 00:15:20,525
♪ With a cross of Jesus
296
00:15:20,525 --> 00:15:23,775
♪ Going on before
297
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,567
Hey.
298
00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:28,609
Anyone speaking in tongues yet?
299
00:15:28,609 --> 00:15:30,943
Worse.
300
00:15:32,086 --> 00:15:35,660
♪ On, then
Christian soldiers ♪
301
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:38,976
♪ On to victory
302
00:15:37,776 --> 00:15:41,610
Louder, Carly.
303
00:15:39,109 --> 00:15:41,840
♪ HeII's foundations
quiver... ♪
304
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,986
OK, that was great, Lemar.
That was beautiful.
305
00:15:45,786 --> 00:15:48,402
- Ha!
- [Lemar] Look at that.
306
00:15:47,711 --> 00:15:48,736
Is that some sort of app?
307
00:15:48,736 --> 00:15:54,486
- Fuck me.
- Hi, Gil John.
308
00:15:51,847 --> 00:15:55,071
- Thanks for joining us.
- Don't you go away, Gil John.
309
00:15:55,071 --> 00:15:58,153
I've also got a song for
the other side of the aisle.
310
00:15:57,930 --> 00:16:01,046
Rosalyn, Carly,
this one's for you.
311
00:16:01,046 --> 00:16:04,804
- Oh.
- It's about
inclusiveness. Enjoy.
312
00:16:04,804 --> 00:16:07,871
♪ He's got the whole world
in his hands ♪
313
00:16:07,871 --> 00:16:10,934
- Oh, my God.
-* He's got the whole world
in his hands *
314
00:16:10,934 --> 00:16:12,821
Everybody, clap hands!
315
00:16:12,821 --> 00:16:14,904
Andy, find Robert,
he's on in two minutes.
316
00:16:14,904 --> 00:16:15,904
Right.
317
00:16:15,904 --> 00:16:17,738
- Gotta go, buddy.
- Oh, thank God.
318
00:16:17,738 --> 00:16:19,946
♪ ...sisters in his hands
319
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:23,196
♪ He's got his brothers
and his sisters in his hands ♪
320
00:16:23,196 --> 00:16:26,655
♪ He's got the whoe world
in his hands... ♪
321
00:16:26,655 --> 00:16:28,780
Robert?
322
00:16:31,364 --> 00:16:33,614
...your lamb
in my pasture, James!
323
00:16:33,614 --> 00:16:36,239
-Oh, bring it home!
324
00:16:36,239 --> 00:16:39,115
Really?
325
00:16:42,323 --> 00:16:44,115
How do you like
camping now, city boy?
326
00:16:44,115 --> 00:16:46,240
I love it!
I love camping!
327
00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:50,781
- Robert?
- I'm in here, Andy.
328
00:16:53,241 --> 00:16:56,491
What the fuck, man?
You're supposed to be
in the circle.
329
00:16:56,491 --> 00:16:59,991
I know, I'm just...
taking the edge off.
330
00:16:59,991 --> 00:17:03,157
Rosalyn always gets me
all jacked up.
331
00:17:03,157 --> 00:17:05,533
Great, you're about to lead a
prayer and you're totally baked.
332
00:17:05,533 --> 00:17:09,908
Andy, let me just explain
my personal philosophy to you,
all right?
333
00:17:09,908 --> 00:17:12,950
If the good Lord did not
want me to be stoned,
334
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:16,117
I wouIdn't be stoned.
Or some shit like that.
335
00:17:17,908 --> 00:17:20,743
Yeah, I mean, maybe that's
not a formal philosophy,
336
00:17:20,743 --> 00:17:23,076
at least not one
that can be taught.
337
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,909
I'll just tell them
that you're drunk.
338
00:17:24,909 --> 00:17:27,243
And that you're
throwing up.
339
00:17:27,243 --> 00:17:28,534
That, they can handle.
340
00:17:28,534 --> 00:17:31,451
Hell, no man, I'm gonna
say the goddamn prayer!
341
00:17:33,035 --> 00:17:34,952
What?
342
00:17:34,952 --> 00:17:37,952
Did I just say something?
343
00:17:39,785 --> 00:17:42,785
Man, this shit is
out ahead of me.
344
00:17:44,077 --> 00:17:46,161
Come on.
345
00:17:50,786 --> 00:17:52,328
Where is he?
346
00:17:52,328 --> 00:17:54,495
He'll be here.
He's my best friend.
347
00:17:54,495 --> 00:17:56,786
You're kidding.
348
00:17:56,786 --> 00:17:59,412
Freedom!
349
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:04,496
I kid. Actually, my people
have made great strides.
350
00:18:07,329 --> 00:18:08,787
Anyone know
why I'm down here?
351
00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:11,704
- You're leading us in prayer.
- Freakin' right!
352
00:18:11,704 --> 00:18:14,538
People say you're slow. Hah!
353
00:18:21,038 --> 00:18:24,830
Rosalyn, is it just me
or are you kicking out
354
00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:27,573
some crazy sexual
energy right now?
355
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:30,623
How drunk must you
be to ask that?
356
00:18:30,623 --> 00:18:32,748
Well, to quote Churchill...
357
00:18:32,748 --> 00:18:36,539
...you'd have to remember
what Churchill said.
358
00:18:42,832 --> 00:18:44,540
A toast! A toast
to my dear friend, Louis.
359
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,665
Prayer!
360
00:18:46,665 --> 00:18:48,790
Prayer!
361
00:18:52,374 --> 00:18:55,304
We are...
We are gathered here today,
362
00:18:55,304 --> 00:18:59,791
dear Lord, to witness and to
give thanks for thy servant...
363
00:18:59,791 --> 00:19:02,708
...thy...
364
00:19:04,416 --> 00:19:07,041
Who said, ''thy, thus, thou,''
Rosalyn?
365
00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:12,042
As the gentleman from
Pennsylvania is clearly
indisposed,
366
00:19:12,042 --> 00:19:14,667
I wonder if he might yield
to me the remainder of his time?
367
00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:17,417
- He willeth.
- Thank you.
368
00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:19,001
Mmm, these are good. I'm hungry.
369
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:21,126
Hey, garcon, can I get some more
of these joints here, please?
370
00:19:21,126 --> 00:19:23,210
You know,
371
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:26,585
whenever I listen to Republicans
offer up prayers,
372
00:19:26,585 --> 00:19:28,460
I'm struck by a
profound disconnect,
373
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:31,252
a disconnect between
what you profess you feel
374
00:19:31,252 --> 00:19:35,017
for an impoverished,
unemployed Jewish carpenter
375
00:19:35,017 --> 00:19:38,128
and how you treat people
who are just like him.
376
00:19:38,128 --> 00:19:40,003
Who do you bet leaves first?
My money's on Paul.
377
00:19:40,003 --> 00:19:41,961
What if
Jesus were alive today?
378
00:19:41,961 --> 00:19:44,878
Would you cut his
unemployment benefits?
379
00:19:44,878 --> 00:19:46,461
What about his food stamps?
380
00:19:46,461 --> 00:19:49,545
Would you insist
that he got a photo ID
381
00:19:49,545 --> 00:19:51,504
in order to be allowed to vote?
382
00:19:51,504 --> 00:19:54,087
Would you tap his phone?
383
00:19:54,087 --> 00:19:57,379
Would you pass his sandals
through the x-ray machine?
384
00:19:57,379 --> 00:20:00,754
Racially profile him based on
his Middle Eastern appearance?
385
00:20:00,754 --> 00:20:03,088
Why doesn't she just fart?
It'd be a lot quicker.
386
00:20:03,088 --> 00:20:05,255
...stop and frisk him?
''Legally'' shoot him,
387
00:20:05,255 --> 00:20:09,005
if he raised his hand,
as Jesus did, in the temple?
388
00:20:09,005 --> 00:20:12,956
Carly, this is a...
389
00:20:12,956 --> 00:20:15,806
- ...non-partisan brunch.
- Louis,
390
00:20:15,806 --> 00:20:19,714
do you really think that
Jesus was non-partisan?
391
00:20:19,714 --> 00:20:22,089
Jesus was a liberal!
392
00:20:22,089 --> 00:20:25,006
Jesus belongs to our side, Paul.
393
00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,717
The New Testament is ours.
394
00:20:26,717 --> 00:20:28,656
You want the Old Testament God?
395
00:20:28,656 --> 00:20:30,632
The bloody, vengeful,
pissed-off old man?
396
00:20:30,632 --> 00:20:33,798
You can have him.
But the loving God,
397
00:20:33,798 --> 00:20:37,923
the one who sacrificed
his only son for our sins?
398
00:20:37,923 --> 00:20:39,507
He's ours, baby!
399
00:20:39,507 --> 00:20:41,840
You hear me?
He's ours!
400
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,591
You can't have 'em both.
Doesn't work that way.
401
00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:47,799
- Amen!
- And scene! Hah!
402
00:20:47,799 --> 00:20:53,133
- You promised.
- Worst prayer ever.
403
00:20:53,133 --> 00:20:55,216
Well, maybe not
technically a prayer,
404
00:20:55,216 --> 00:20:58,175
but who amongst us
was not entertained?
405
00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,217
Hmm?
406
00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:03,948
Christians: zero,
lion: four.
407
00:21:03,948 --> 00:21:07,425
Lion! Lion!
Come on! Lion!
408
00:21:07,425 --> 00:21:10,800
Lion, lion, li...
409
00:21:16,426 --> 00:21:18,926
How'd it go, buddy?
410
00:21:18,926 --> 00:21:20,010
Things got a bit off track,
Gil John.
411
00:21:20,010 --> 00:21:22,093
- Carly...
- Say no more, Louise.
412
00:21:22,093 --> 00:21:24,593
If I had a dollar for
every time Carly Armiston
413
00:21:24,593 --> 00:21:26,094
got her panty hose in a twist,
414
00:21:26,094 --> 00:21:30,011
I could load up my 401k
and retire.
415
00:21:32,104 --> 00:21:33,677
You OK, buddy?
416
00:21:33,677 --> 00:21:35,761
Louis is fine, Gil John.
417
00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:39,223
He's just gone to the special
place he goes to
418
00:21:39,223 --> 00:21:44,678
when he's disappointed and
confused by God's plan for him.
419
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:47,762
he's not rebuking us
with his silence.
420
00:21:47,762 --> 00:21:50,678
I think if he were able
to speak right now,
421
00:21:50,678 --> 00:21:53,054
Louis might say something like,
422
00:21:53,054 --> 00:21:56,971
''Be not troubled, friends,
for I'm at peace.
423
00:21:56,971 --> 00:22:00,179
Though the road to salvation
may be rocky,
424
00:22:00,179 --> 00:22:04,346
the way is lit
by His saving grace.''
425
00:22:06,180 --> 00:22:08,889
Fucking Carly!
426
00:22:10,472 --> 00:22:15,033
Mr. President, I rise today
to introduce SR647,
427
00:22:15,033 --> 00:22:18,722
"The Global War on Terror
Veteran's Day Two Act,"
428
00:22:18,722 --> 00:22:21,931
also known as, ''GWoT-VD2.''
429
00:22:21,931 --> 00:22:25,098
''Why another Veteran's Day?''
you may ask.
430
00:22:25,098 --> 00:22:27,556
What a shameful question.
431
00:22:27,556 --> 00:22:32,056
An insuIt to a whole generation
of 9-11 public servants,
432
00:22:32,056 --> 00:22:36,016
five million strong,
both in uniform and out,
433
00:22:36,016 --> 00:22:40,016
squeezed into a single,
threadbare Veterans Day?
434
00:22:40,016 --> 00:22:42,807
Under-honored, under-revered,
435
00:22:42,807 --> 00:22:45,224
all but forgotten.
436
00:22:45,224 --> 00:22:47,933
Let us now come together
and build these heroes
437
00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:53,600
the unpaid holiday
they truly deserve: GWoT-VD2.
438
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:57,892
I yield the remainder of
my time in the memory
of their sacrifice.
439
00:22:57,892 --> 00:23:02,892
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