Original subtitles

Film Polski presents:

Starring

Based on the novel by Jan Brzechwa

Mister Blot...

MISTER BLOT'S ACADEMY

10-year old Adam Niezg�dka...

...was introduced by Mat, the talking starling,

Into the tale of Mister Blot's Academy.

At the gates he was greeted by the school-song...

In the Land of Cockaigne.

A venerable whale

wears specs to read his mail.

There's salmon and sardines

in tomatoes and baked beans.

And a circus of white mice

skating on a mountain of ice.

Where's that happy place?

Vanished without a trace...

Mr. Blot showed Adam round the Academy...

...and told him about his special secrets.

He also asked Adam to go and get...

...some fresh freckles from Philip, the Barber.

Philip's strange behaviour...

...made Adam suspect something was wrong.

He was anxious to talk over his suspicions with Mr. Blot.

The Academy is a place where work and play...

...are equally interesting.

The individuality of every pupil is respected there.

After the classes Adam set out to look for Mr. Blot,

who was out catching butterflies.

Following a mysterious cloaked figure,

Adam found Mat the starling's secret hiding place.

This was full of buttons of all kinds.

Mat told Adam the story of his adventures.

He was the only son and heir of a wise and powerful king.

He grew into a brave but undisciplined youngster.

Against his father's will...

...he set out on a nocturnal adventure...

...during which he killed the king of the wolves.

The dying wolf wounded him...

but the young prince was cured by Dr. Pai-Chi-Wo

who gave him a cap with a magic button.

This enabled him to turn into a bird...

...when he was attacked by wolves.

But without the lost button...

...Mat couldn't turn back into a boy.

A bird-catcher sold him to a trader,

who in turn sold him to Mr Blot.

Adam would like to help Mat find the button.

While waiting for Mr. Blot Adam looked upwards...

...at a ball flying through the air...

...and found himself flying towards a new adventure.

All this time Philip, the barber...

had been waking on his mysterious invention.

Part Two

The secret of Philip, The Barber

Cast

Screenplay

Set decoration

Music

Production managers

Photography

Directed by

After flying for some hours...

...I landed softly outside the gates of a miniature city.

I decided to get in.

Hi, I'm Susie.

Open up, Tom!

- Is it you, Rex? - What a lovely surprise!

Rex was my favourite dog. I lost him two years earlier.

Come right in!

You've come to our dogs' paradise. We all live happily together.

Come and meet my best friends.

He'll ignore me, of course.

Bulldog Tom - he served at the English court.

That's why he commands such respect here.

That Pekingese is a terrible chatterbox.

He's called Glu Glu.

Allow me to introduce myself... my name is Lord.

And I often wondered why do people put up notices saying:

"Beware of the dog"! Dogs are not wicked.

We have kind hearts and become attached to people.

It is people who are sometimes wicked.

Go away, that was tactless of you.

And now please welcome out star performer...

Susie the Poodle.

Here are some aggravations.

That try a puppy's patience.

The first is, when it gets dar,

they won't let us run in the park.

The second, that water's not dry.

The third. There's a fly in my eye.

Then there's the fact. That cats will scratch.

That chickens are so hard to catch.

That one can't bite. A postman's knees.

That sausages don't fall from trees.

That men can ride and dogs must run.

Alongside and not join the fun.

But just give your puppy a bone.

The aggravation, is gone.

I'll show you round our town.

We'll start with White Fang Avenue.

That greyhound, named Cora, is our pride.

He always wins the races.

That dog, Tango, eats too many meat-pies...

...and has to be dosed with castor oil.

On the left is our Salami orchard...

and on the right we have a black pudding

and liver pate farm.

In front of us... the Three Poodles Theater,

and in the square you'll see a chocolate statue of Dr. Dolittle.

We eat it up every day and put up a new one.

When there's nothing left, we know a day has passed.

Now I'll show you Tormentors' Corner.

I teased my dog by feeding it with pepper.

I pulled my dog's tail.

I threw my dog into a hole filled with lime.

Here we come to Merry Tricks Square.

That's where we have our fun-fair.

Have you noticed that there are no fleas here?

They simply don't stand our climate.

Go on, Adam, eat!

We've been promised some more chocolate this afternoon.

I enjoyed staying with Rex...

...but I soon became bored.

I couldn't stand the sight of sweets.

I never liked soup but now I longed for a plateful.

I missed the Academy...

...and often thought about Mat's secret.

Who's that?

Mat!

Here are instructions on how to steer your flight

so that you land right by the Academy.

All the boys miss you very much.

And just then Mat brought me your letter.

You've done very well.

I'm going to reward you with a golden freckle.

Wear it faithfully and never take it off.

It's our Academy's highest decoration.

Aren't you pleased?

What happened?

Is anything the matter?

When I told the boys what happened to me,

they said I made up all my adventures.

Have you thought about why they said that?

I expect they're envious,

just as Philip is envious of your Academy...

and resents us all being so happy.

When you came to us you were a nice, well-behaved boy.

Now you're also thoughtful and considerate.

Your parents will be pleased.

Maybe you have a wish?

I know you want to find Mat's magic button.

That's simply a matter of your determination.

Maybe you'd like to be let into one of my secrets?

What is there on the other side of the Academy?

Look, my window overlooks the other side.

Through that window you can see the future.

I keep the curtains drawn...

...because it isn't always a good thing to see ahead.

Maybe it's better to enjoy every day as it comes?

I was happy to be with this unusual man, Mr. Blot.

Nobody suspected that at this very moment Philip, the barber...

Come here!

Right away.

You must always remember this moment.

Here's the germ of a new order planted by whom?

By you?

That's right. By Philip, a modest hairdresser...

Here you see a child of the electronic age.

Steered by remote control, programmed throughout.

Obedient, without any whims or fancies of his own.

A disciplined computer terminal!

This prototype is the first step towards regimented...

...playgrounds, nurseries and schools.

If it works, we'll be able to control every fairytale.

You won't need to dress up as a guard or a bird-catcher.

No more jokes about hairdressers!

No more untidy mops of hair!

Imprecise dance-steps!

Choreography will once again become musical drill!

We'll start with a certain long-haired band of nuisances.

If this works we'll start mass production.

What do you say?

Only one question, how will he move?

That's a minor detail I leave to my good friend Blot.

We'll be monitoring it all.

I have my cameras all over the Academy.

I am special, 'cause I know

how to talk to my dog Joe.

I learned how to from a manual

written by a clever spaniel.

When I call "Joey here!",

he sits up and cocks an ear.

When I shout "Joey hop!",

he is gone before I stop.

When I whisper �Joey He!�,

he lies down and so do I.

When I scratch him on his chin,

his teeth flash in a wicked grin.

Of course he wouldn't hurt a fly.

Though sometimes he pretends to try.

Joey likes to chew my shoe.

That's what all dogs like to do.

When I started on this rhyme,

he slept by me all the time.

When he woke he did a roll,

that means... time now for a stroll.

We went out, my dog and I.

Joey made some feathers fly.

Joey barked, I did not.

We enjoyed ourselves a lot.

I'm so happy, 'cause I know how to talk to my dog Joe.

Autumn is the best season for treasure-seeking.

Don't forget to look in the park.

Go in pairs for the sake of company.

I have a prize for the one who finds the best treasure.

Adam,

when you were away I found a hollow tree-trunk...

...but I was afraid to explore it by myself.

Do you want to join me?

This is it.

- Not bad, is it? - It looks quite ordinary.

Just listen!

Let's go in.

OK!

What are you waiting for?

Today I'm just a memory,

a glimpse of a far-off time.

Once I was a dream you had,

when I called your whole world mine.

The world of childhood, play and thoughts,

first joys

and wonderful dreams.

Now when you shut your eyes

in the greyness of memory

among pale shadows there

it is me you see.

I am your tale.

Your fairytale.

The tale of your dreams.

I can see you're from the Academy...

...and have wandered into another story.

The tale of the sad princess.

It's a beautiful story, but it has no ending.

I've been waiting for someone to finish it...

...for the last 100 years.

If you touch me you'll turn into frogs...

...and stay here forever.

Do as I wish and I'll grant each of you a wish.

I'd like a key to open all doors...

...and a whistle to take me anywhere I like.

You'll find both in that box, Antony.

I'd like the magic button of Dr. Pai-Chi-Wo.

Hurry up and you'll find it at the Academy.

That's it!

I won't go on! Find yourself another hairdresser!

I'm not going to cut your or your pupils' hair any more!

I've had enough of your promises!

I'll be bringing him along this week!

The Academy was intended for students like him...

...and not for that noisy band of pipsqueaks.

Good day Mr. Blot!

No more free freckles! That's it.

Wait!

I see the treasure-hunt was a great success.

You've found many wonderful treasures.

As a reward

for searching so carefully you can keep all you found.

After supper today...

...I'll take down our album...

...and read you Adam's dream.

Great!

Adam's dream.

I dreamt... that I awoke.

Today I'll take you to China.

We're off!

Adam, save my train!

Adam, what have you done! You stole a cloud!

There'll be no more rain, wind or snow.

We'll be parched with the heat and drought!

Winter's bringing white snow for your delight.

Now some snow we'll take and a snowman we make.

We'll make him jolly-fat, give him a pipe and hat.

Snow's falling on his head, his nose is getting red.

Winter's bringing white snow for your delight.

By eating flowers all day I'll make December May.

Adam, turn on the light, I can't see.

I feel like having a snack. What about a thunderbolt?

Dancing, prancing Mister Blot,

we enjoy his games a lot

Thank you. At last I have a glass of my own.

The third eye! I can see the third eye!

My third eye has come back from its trip into space.

Fancy that!

Fantastic!

What fantastic views!

No one's ever seen anything like it! Miracles!

Fantastic!

I can see life on the stars!

No-one's ever thought up a story to match it.

It'll put all other tales in the shade.

Tomorrow we'll invite the neighbours to a viewing.

Tidy up indoors and outdoors...

...and I'll get the projector ready.

Space travel in the Academy!

Fantastic!

I thought a great deal about what the sad princess had said.

Something very important happened that evening.

What a storm!

A good thing the third eye landed before the rain.

We have visitors.

That's strange.

- Open the umbrella. - Just a moment!

I thought we'd drown.

This is Adolf, a new student. He'll be your star pupil.

He's welcome. Please come in.

In the Academy, Adolf.

You'll have many friends and an excellent teacher.

Careful!

He's tired.

In the rain we lost our way three times...

...before we found the right turning.

You must be hungry.

We'll ask Mr. Blot to make you both some supper.

There's no need to bother him.

You'd better find Adolf a bed.

There's a spare one in our room.

I haven't much time so I'll be off right away.

In his clothes?

He doesn't like being woken up.

You'd better let him sleep in his clothes.

If all goes well I'll let Mr Blot...

...have some fresh freckles.

You'll get very fond of Adolf, just wait.

- Look! - Don't touch him!

Go to bed!

Good night.

I don't like it,

somehow I'll find Mr. Blot.

I was suddenly terribly tempted...

...to steal a look at Mr. Blot's secrets.

I thought the entrance was in the sick appliances room.

Hello, what brings you here?

Philip, the Barber brought a new student.

- Have you seen Mr Blot? - He's not on the third floor.

I thought he was with you boys.

I'll go to the kitchen and you try the classroom.

Mr. Blot's worried and has been shrinking steadily.

I'm afraid he misses his fresh freckles.

Don't wake me...

I'm having a wonderful dream.

Look, Adam...

This boy hasn't been dreaming at all.

- Did he come last night? - Who is he?

Look, he slept in his clothes.

It's a doll!

You're right, Adolf's a doll.

I was always afraid of having dolls in our Academy.

But it's too late now.

He was smuggled in by a trick.

He'll cause us a lot of trouble.

We must teach him to feel,

think...

...and speak. Perhaps I'll manage it?

Pick him up and carry him carefully to my study.

There'll be no classes today.

Remember to tidy up for our visitors tonight.

After dinner we'll start my tale of star-dwellers.

You stay, Adam. I'll need your help.

Here's an ointment made by Dr Pai-Chi-Wo.

Rub Adolf's hands with it...

...until veins and arteries begin to appear.

I'll see to the heart and brain.

Microprocessors, transistors, diodes...

A doll equipped with the most up-to-date technology.

Is that dangerous?

Technology is neither good nor bad by itself.

It all depends what use we make of it.

We'll do our best to help this doll...

...to feel, see and hear.

Can it exist with dignity?

9, 8, 7, 6,

5, 4, 3,

2, 1,

0!

It looks as if we've made it.

Where am I?

In Mr. Blot's Academy.

Can I breathe?

Of course.

What's your name?

Adolf.

Give me a stick of some sort.

Here's your new fellow-student.

Is this a circus? Don't stand there and gape!

I'm going to take a look in the bushes.

That's where you keep your treasures, isn't it?

We'll soon get rid of them!

Welcome to our story!

Come join us, we invite you. Our story will delight you.

Leave behind what's dreary, here no-one's ever weary.

Pinocchio comes here daily

to play the ukulele

and kids all get to fly in an airplane in the sky.

There's sausages and cheeses and no-one ever freezes.

And really, it's quite true telltales have nothing to do.

Come join us, we invite you, our story will delight you.

Pinocchio comes here daily to play the ukulele.

We're having lots of fun

so join us if you can.

Past hillock and past hollow adventure bids us follow.

We'll seek her

all together,

in this fine

summer weather.

A certain hen, I have heard was an awfully snobbish bird.

Good manners, she'd say is what's lacking today.

She asked friends to a meal so they'd see what's genteel.

A donkey came in and brayed and broke a vase, I'm afraid

the hen cackled; Alas,

it's quite plain he's an ass.

A cow came in, forlorn, broke a pane with her horn,

cried the hostess: now, now

don't be a clumsy cow!

A muddy pig came through the door, the hen was ruffled even more.

She gave an angry cry! My house is not a sty!

A sheep came in late, broke a seat with his weight.

Now here, the hen said, is a proper mutton-head.

Teaching manners to swine is a sheer waste of time.

She had quite enough!

The guests left in a huff.

Now did that hen display good manners, would you say?

Boys, show our visitors their seats.

- Please, take a seat. - Please.

Please, help yourselves.

Mr. Blot himself made all these delicacies.

Another glass, perhaps?

This is the rainbow cocktail.

Will you drink with me?

My dear guests!

Beyond seven nebulae,

beyond seven moons...

...lies a planet wrapped in colorful clouds...

...known as the Star of Hope.

My third eye flew there...

...and what it observed you'll see for yourselves.

The flight took the whole summer.

Many-colored cosmic kites drift through space.

The third eye flew to the most interesting part...

...of our solar system,

where the collective memory of the universe is stored.

There it was given details concerning the history...

...and position of the Star of Hope.

How interesting!

Look, little Red Riding-hood, how lovely!

The planet's central computer was informed...

...and an unmanned spaceship was sent to help...

...the third eye make a safe landing.

Star-dwellers are hospitable...

but also sensible and cautious.

They learned to be careful during their war with King Chaos...

...who set out to conquer the universe.

They put the third eye through many tests...

...to discover what my intentions were.

When they learned...

...that contact with another civilization...

...might help to unite mankind...

...the planet's protective screen was raised...

...and above the horizon appeared the beautiful...

...Star of Hope the story of which I'm about to relate.

What's the meaning of this Mr. Blot?

You're giving a party without me?

Is that why I was sent out into the park?

What are you staring at?

Get out before I lose my temper.

Get a move on, will you!

Scram, you silly bird!

Buzz off, dwarfs, or I'll jump on you.

It's my turn to have fun.

I'm the Queen of Toy-land and I order you to stop!

Too late, my lovely, I'm no longer a subject of yours.

I'm alive now, thanks to this old idiot.

He must be regretting this now.

We must examine him!

Out of my way, doc, or I'll break your bones.

What are you waiting for, you fat lump?

Get out, Pinocchio, or I'll punch your nose.

Out of my way, Snow-queen, or I'll melt you.

Get out!

That's not all! Your Academy's finished!

You'll be sorry you ever started on those stories.

Sawdust, that'll remain of your Academy!

It's a pity, my boys...

...I won't be able to finish telling you...

...my tale of star-dwellers.

We must put it off to another story.

It can't be helped.

It's high time we all had our supper.

Clear the room.

There's still autumn to come before winter, isn't there?

Yes.

Cheer up!

It rained throughout October and November.

There were no more games outdoors.

Mr. Blot became melancholic and strangely quiet.

He complained there were no butterflies.

He neglected the kitchen...

...and forgot about our meals.

He neglected his freckles and didn't take his pills.

As a result his shock of hair grew thin and gray.

At last winter came, and with it Christmas.

On Christmas Eve Mr. Blot seemed...

�former self again when we sat down to supper.

Boys,

our tale is coming to an end.

I'll be sorry to part from you.

We spent a whole year together.

It was great fun, but nothing lasts forever.

What'll happen to us?

You'll all go home for Christmas.

Open the gate at midnight...

...and throw the key into the pond.

That'll be the end of our tale about my Academy.

- Won't we meet again? - In another story, maybe.

The story of my travels.

It's time for some surprises.

I've got ready some presents for you.

- Do you know what you're getting? - No. Do you?

The magnifying pump.

Adam Niezg�dka...

Adolf...

Someone's inside Mr. Blot's secrets!

Here you have old Blot's secrets!

There'll be no carols or presents...

...but tears and gnashing the teeth!

Here are your silly old secrets!

You can't read it because you don't know Chinese,

so I might as well tear it up.

Go on, read it!

The secrets will all be torn into tatters!

You've destroyed my secrets. For that you must be punished.

Well,

I was afraid my story would end like this.

These scrolls, Adolf destroyed,

contained the knowledge passed to me by Dr. Pai-Chi-Wo.

Now there'll be no more cooking with colours...

flying in the air, healing furniture,

or making up magic songs and rhymes.

But luckily I've taught you some of that knowledge.

Before you unpack your presents we'll sing a carol.

So that's it, Mr. Blot?

That's how you stick to our agreement?

I devoted 20 years to my invention.

It was to allow me to find my way into every fairytale...

...and destroy it from within.

But you destroyed my doll, my life's work!

All my efforts are wasted,

although I went on supplying you with freckles,

in spite of the risks involved.

I'll show you what I'm capable of...

...when I set out to take my revenge.

Just wait and see!

I'll send this place up in smoke!

Here's the button you were looking for.

Farewell.

If you hurry up, you'll find him in the Academy.

Hand me that button.

Are you Prince Matthew or was it all a dream?

I'm not a prince, Adam.

I simply told you a story.

I made up the adventure of the wolf king.

And the prince, and Dr. Pai-Chi-Wo?

In fairytales good is always victorious.

Maybe you thought this story was true...

- because it was different? - And you... who are you?

I wrote the story of Mr. Blot's Academy.

I wrote it because I'm very fond of children.

Some people even maintain...

...that I myself am that strange fellow Blot.

Also starring:

Subtitles by: Hilda Andrews-Rusiecka