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1
00:00:57,928 --> 00:00:59,511
Curtain-up in 5 minutes.
2
00:00:59,678 --> 00:01:01,761
On stage, please.
3
00:01:47,264 --> 00:01:49,096
- Break a leg.
- I will.
4
00:02:42,932 --> 00:02:47,431
ME MYSELF AND MUM
5
00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:12,599
Mum?
6
00:03:23,933 --> 00:03:26,891
- Yes, what?
- I have a little headache.
7
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,307
Me too.
8
00:03:31,725 --> 00:03:35,974
I bumped into my very
first sweetheart. Remember Anna?
9
00:03:36,142 --> 00:03:38,392
Oh yeah... How is he?
10
00:03:42,101 --> 00:03:43,975
Just fine, I think.
11
00:04:08,310 --> 00:04:09,851
What now?
12
00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:13,434
I love when you speak Spanish.
You're pretty when you...
13
00:04:13,602 --> 00:04:17,601
You're always pretty,
but even prettier in Spanish.
14
00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:21,226
Even prettier than Dad's secretaries.
15
00:04:25,852 --> 00:04:28,476
I'd like to speak Spanish too.
16
00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:32,143
Can I do a language study holiday
in Spain?
17
00:04:32,769 --> 00:04:36,227
Sure. Dad's taking the boys
to the Grand Canyon.
18
00:04:36,395 --> 00:04:39,685
I doubt you'd like that.
So why not Spain?
19
00:04:39,853 --> 00:04:41,060
- Really?
- Yes.
20
00:04:41,270 --> 00:04:45,560
They've gone sailing in Australia,
horse-riding in Kenya...
21
00:04:46,061 --> 00:04:50,935
Dad and the boys are athletic,
not you. What do you expect?
22
00:04:51,103 --> 00:04:53,477
You hate horses and get seasick.
23
00:04:53,645 --> 00:04:56,560
Don't blame Dad.
You're not athletic.
24
00:04:57,061 --> 00:05:01,310
Don't worry...
I'll find you something in Spain.
25
00:05:01,686 --> 00:05:03,769
Something really nice.
26
00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:05,936
Something really nice...
27
00:05:06,229 --> 00:05:08,645
She went all out to find it.
28
00:05:08,812 --> 00:05:11,978
I end up in the ugliest city
in Spain.
29
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:14,145
La Linea de la Concepci�n.
30
00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:21,353
Projects outside of Gibraltar.
31
00:05:21,937 --> 00:05:24,478
Like Le Havre, but uglier.
32
00:05:24,687 --> 00:05:25,770
Yes, it's possible.
33
00:05:35,230 --> 00:05:36,979
Simple, but tasteful.
34
00:05:50,522 --> 00:05:52,271
You're very lucky.
35
00:05:52,522 --> 00:05:56,896
The unica familia in the city
that doesn't take la droga.
36
00:05:57,063 --> 00:05:58,271
Take what?
37
00:05:58,438 --> 00:05:59,854
La droga.
38
00:06:03,773 --> 00:06:05,313
Well, that's...
39
00:06:05,481 --> 00:06:08,230
How do you say
"That's great" in Spanish?
40
00:06:16,481 --> 00:06:17,563
Good.
41
00:06:22,314 --> 00:06:24,230
There I meet Paqui.
42
00:06:25,981 --> 00:06:28,230
Not one word of French.
43
00:07:10,525 --> 00:07:12,815
"Casa" and "blanca", that's all.
44
00:07:18,191 --> 00:07:20,982
I brought her a Julio Iglesias album.
45
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,440
But in French.
46
00:08:37,861 --> 00:08:40,610
In short, in 3 weeks is la feria.
47
00:08:40,819 --> 00:08:44,277
Learn the Sevillana
or you'll be bored stiff.
48
00:08:44,444 --> 00:08:47,027
She'll teach you how to dance it.
49
00:09:33,655 --> 00:09:35,612
8 hours a day for 3 weeks.
50
00:09:36,946 --> 00:09:39,695
Even at the beach with her friends.
51
00:09:47,780 --> 00:09:49,237
When the feria began,
52
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:52,362
I danced almost as well as Paqui.
53
00:09:52,530 --> 00:09:54,988
Along with my entire Spanish family,
54
00:09:55,197 --> 00:09:58,655
we went to hear
the best Sevillana group
55
00:09:59,072 --> 00:10:00,571
in the whole feria.
56
00:10:20,156 --> 00:10:23,156
There I am,
amid those Andalusian dresses,
57
00:10:23,365 --> 00:10:25,281
dancing the Sevillana.
58
00:10:31,782 --> 00:10:34,656
That girl seems to want to laugh.
59
00:10:36,532 --> 00:10:38,614
Everyone around us, too.
60
00:10:40,657 --> 00:10:41,864
It's rare to see
61
00:10:42,073 --> 00:10:44,489
a Frenchman dance the Sevillana
so well!
62
00:10:47,282 --> 00:10:50,947
But why do they laugh so much
at the third pass?
63
00:10:51,115 --> 00:10:53,032
When I lift my knee,
64
00:10:53,241 --> 00:10:54,740
they all went....
65
00:11:00,241 --> 00:11:03,448
Anyway,
they had me dancing all night,
66
00:11:03,616 --> 00:11:05,615
so impressed were they.
67
00:11:28,659 --> 00:11:30,658
Paqui, come dance with me!
68
00:11:30,825 --> 00:11:34,491
He's being a pain
and my legs are killing me.
69
00:11:34,659 --> 00:11:35,574
Please!
70
00:11:35,742 --> 00:11:37,366
Go ask Pilar.
71
00:11:37,534 --> 00:11:39,199
- For me?
- Yes!
72
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,574
Thanks.
73
00:11:46,075 --> 00:11:47,866
Will you dance with me, please?
74
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,199
I'm sorry.
75
00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:53,117
I dance the Sevillana
with boys, not girls.
76
00:11:54,618 --> 00:11:55,909
What do you mean?
77
00:11:56,910 --> 00:11:59,117
You dance like a girl.
78
00:11:59,535 --> 00:12:01,700
Don't move your hands like this.
79
00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:03,575
Never. It's for girls.
80
00:12:03,743 --> 00:12:04,575
Because...
81
00:12:05,535 --> 00:12:08,950
I was copying Paqui.
She said take an apple,
82
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:09,992
eat it, toss it...
83
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,117
It's only for girls.
84
00:12:12,535 --> 00:12:15,700
In the third pass,
when you lift your knee,
85
00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:18,159
girls do it
to lift their dresses.
86
00:12:18,368 --> 00:12:19,951
You have no dress.
87
00:12:22,744 --> 00:12:26,118
Now I understand
why they were all laughing...
88
00:12:28,494 --> 00:12:31,493
Tell me something, Pilar...
89
00:12:32,327 --> 00:12:35,701
Do I really dance like a girl?
Honestly...
90
00:12:35,911 --> 00:12:38,243
do I really look like a girl?
91
00:12:41,786 --> 00:12:43,451
Thank you, Pilar.
92
00:12:43,619 --> 00:12:46,826
You can't imagine
how happy Mum will be!
93
00:12:47,411 --> 00:12:49,702
- Boys and Guillaume, lunch!
- Coming.
94
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,619
Mum says it's lunchtime.
95
00:12:51,787 --> 00:12:52,619
Shut up!
96
00:12:52,787 --> 00:12:55,827
She said,
"The boys and Guillaume, lunch!"
97
00:12:55,995 --> 00:12:57,952
She said it's lunchtime.
98
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,411
Hurry up or you'll get a spanking.
99
00:13:04,662 --> 00:13:06,369
You'll get the spanking!
100
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,744
Not me.
101
00:13:08,912 --> 00:13:12,119
Mum and I love each other
more than anyone.
102
00:13:35,246 --> 00:13:37,370
Isn't our love the biggest?
103
00:13:37,538 --> 00:13:41,620
Sit down, you three.
I'm sick and tired of this!
104
00:13:45,997 --> 00:13:47,413
My mother is reserved.
105
00:13:48,705 --> 00:13:50,329
She doesn't gush.
106
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:53,079
My mother's amazing.
107
00:13:53,747 --> 00:13:56,996
I don't think
my mother has any flaws.
108
00:13:57,747 --> 00:14:00,871
Except being in bad mood since...
109
00:14:02,747 --> 00:14:04,829
...ever since I was born.
110
00:14:05,872 --> 00:14:08,413
Is her bad mood because of me?
111
00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:12,704
When she answers the phone,
112
00:14:12,914 --> 00:14:16,080
she always sounds annoyed,
like this.
113
00:14:18,373 --> 00:14:21,997
Since she does nothing all day,
by sounding annoyed,
114
00:14:22,206 --> 00:14:24,330
people think she's busy.
115
00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:26,289
As if she does something.
116
00:14:26,456 --> 00:14:27,830
Pretty smart, isn't it?
117
00:14:31,706 --> 00:14:33,664
Constantly oscillating
118
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,747
between extreme heat...
119
00:14:35,915 --> 00:14:37,830
and bitter cold.
120
00:14:37,998 --> 00:14:41,205
With no transition
from one to the other.
121
00:14:41,373 --> 00:14:42,789
For example, the other day
122
00:14:42,956 --> 00:14:47,331
she was sitting down,
saying "Finally no lunch guests!"
123
00:14:47,499 --> 00:14:49,998
Sick and tired of having company.
124
00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:53,623
No sooner did she say it,
than the cook came
125
00:14:53,832 --> 00:14:56,373
to announce that Lucien's parents,
126
00:14:56,541 --> 00:14:58,581
my brother's classmate's...
127
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,206
They're in the kitchen.
128
00:15:02,624 --> 00:15:03,873
What the hell for?
129
00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:06,373
Monsieur asked them to lunch.
130
00:15:07,582 --> 00:15:08,623
Shit.
131
00:15:08,791 --> 00:15:10,331
Pain in the ass...
132
00:15:11,207 --> 00:15:13,541
Show them in.
Don't leave them there!
133
00:15:13,708 --> 00:15:15,249
Never a moment's rest.
134
00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:17,416
All the livelong day...
135
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,416
How are you doing?
136
00:15:20,042 --> 00:15:22,791
Lovely to see you.
It's been ages.
137
00:15:22,958 --> 00:15:25,499
Please... have a seat...
138
00:15:26,917 --> 00:15:29,207
Something to drink?
139
00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:35,957
Something to drink?
140
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:40,249
Something to drink?
141
00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:41,291
- Perrier.
- Decaf.
142
00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:44,375
Say it!
3 hours for decaf and Perrier!
143
00:15:44,584 --> 00:15:47,625
Spare us.
Get a decaf and a Perrier.
144
00:15:48,709 --> 00:15:50,958
Tell everyone it's lunchtime.
145
00:15:54,501 --> 00:15:57,500
It's so hot, my dears. Unbearable.
146
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:00,208
Say it!
147
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:03,292
Three hours for decaf and a Perrier.
148
00:16:03,459 --> 00:16:05,292
Spare us...
149
00:16:06,918 --> 00:16:09,292
I imitate her really well.
150
00:16:09,459 --> 00:16:12,459
Her gestures, intonations.
It's great.
151
00:16:12,627 --> 00:16:14,084
I'm so good at it,
152
00:16:14,294 --> 00:16:18,709
I can call the cook
and she thinks it's my mother.
153
00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:21,834
- Hello, Maria.
-Yes, ma'am.
154
00:16:22,294 --> 00:16:24,001
What are they eating today?
155
00:16:24,169 --> 00:16:26,251
Liver, like every Thursday.
156
00:16:28,877 --> 00:16:30,959
Make them sole instead.
157
00:16:31,169 --> 00:16:34,418
The boys love it
and Guillaume needs fish.
158
00:16:34,877 --> 00:16:36,668
Yes, madam...
159
00:16:36,835 --> 00:16:38,043
Thank you, Maria.
160
00:16:41,795 --> 00:16:44,252
Even my grandmother falls for it.
161
00:16:52,586 --> 00:16:53,669
I'll make more.
162
00:16:58,003 --> 00:16:59,794
With all this tea
163
00:16:59,961 --> 00:17:02,627
my bladder is filled to the rim.
164
00:17:20,296 --> 00:17:24,295
We've discussed everything
and nothing. Mostly nothing.
165
00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:26,795
So how are you?
166
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:29,503
I have a little headache.
167
00:17:34,129 --> 00:17:35,836
And how are the boys?
168
00:17:36,046 --> 00:17:37,253
Fine.
169
00:17:37,755 --> 00:17:38,921
And Guillaume?
170
00:17:40,422 --> 00:17:42,212
I have a little headache.
171
00:17:42,380 --> 00:17:44,462
You said so. Take an aspirin.
172
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,337
But how is Guillaume?
173
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,587
Besides my head, I'm fine.
174
00:17:49,838 --> 00:17:51,671
What do you mean?
175
00:17:53,380 --> 00:17:54,546
It's you, honey?
176
00:17:54,755 --> 00:17:56,504
Yes it's me, Babou.
177
00:17:56,672 --> 00:17:58,712
- Mum's not here?
- Bathroom.
178
00:17:59,005 --> 00:17:59,879
Bathroom...
179
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:01,879
Washing her hands.
180
00:18:02,088 --> 00:18:03,421
Bathroom...
181
00:18:04,505 --> 00:18:06,547
She's washing her hands.
182
00:18:06,714 --> 00:18:09,880
Know why you mixed us up?
We look alike.
183
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,505
And you know why?
184
00:18:11,714 --> 00:18:13,880
Listen to me, sweetie.
185
00:18:14,089 --> 00:18:17,338
Never complain,
never lie to yourself.
186
00:18:18,714 --> 00:18:20,505
Don't ever disavow.
187
00:18:20,673 --> 00:18:22,547
Or make false claims.
188
00:18:22,964 --> 00:18:24,880
And never justify yourself.
189
00:18:25,048 --> 00:18:26,838
- Is that clear?
- Very.
190
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,213
It's not what I meant.
191
00:18:28,381 --> 00:18:29,713
If I'm like Mum...
192
00:18:29,881 --> 00:18:31,463
Later, later...
193
00:18:32,631 --> 00:18:36,214
Think over what I just told you,
my angel.
194
00:18:40,257 --> 00:18:43,714
Well, my dears...
it was Niagara Falls.
195
00:18:48,007 --> 00:18:49,964
Everyone falls for it.
196
00:18:50,174 --> 00:18:53,798
The only one
who never falls for it...
197
00:18:54,465 --> 00:18:55,298
is Dad.
198
00:18:59,465 --> 00:19:02,173
He doesn't want me to be a girl.
199
00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:03,923
Not at all.
200
00:19:04,466 --> 00:19:05,882
I feel bad for Mum.
201
00:19:16,133 --> 00:19:19,049
He's why she buys me boys clothes.
202
00:19:19,216 --> 00:19:21,007
So he won't get upset.
203
00:19:21,675 --> 00:19:23,632
Getting dressed is tough,
204
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:27,174
but dressing as a girl
with boys clothes...
205
00:19:29,883 --> 00:19:31,590
So I improvise.
206
00:19:55,467 --> 00:19:56,675
Hello, godfather...
207
00:20:06,718 --> 00:20:08,717
Dressing as a Papuan now?
208
00:20:20,968 --> 00:20:21,801
Just my father.
209
00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:25,759
Perfect.
210
00:20:26,427 --> 00:20:27,842
Thank you, Marc.
211
00:20:28,927 --> 00:20:30,259
Our turn.
212
00:20:30,427 --> 00:20:31,968
Shall we straighten it?
213
00:20:34,511 --> 00:20:36,635
I try to look like her,
214
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,468
so he understands.
215
00:20:39,011 --> 00:20:40,885
No... nothing doing.
216
00:20:53,928 --> 00:20:56,218
What sport do you want to do?
217
00:20:57,969 --> 00:20:59,968
You're flunking gym class.
218
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,678
I want you playing sports
every Saturday.
219
00:21:11,512 --> 00:21:14,053
So what sport do you want to do?
220
00:21:16,512 --> 00:21:17,928
How about soccer?
221
00:21:22,762 --> 00:21:25,053
Track, boxing, judo?
222
00:21:27,679 --> 00:21:28,761
Greco-Roman wrestling?
223
00:21:32,138 --> 00:21:32,970
Piano?
224
00:21:36,930 --> 00:21:38,845
He wants me to do boy stuff.
225
00:21:40,055 --> 00:21:41,262
The other night,
226
00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:46,179
I was in my room
playing Sissi and Archduchess Sophie.
227
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:49,179
Archduchess Sophie is gorgeous.
228
00:21:49,346 --> 00:21:50,387
So strict.
229
00:21:51,388 --> 00:21:55,554
A bit severe, harsh at times...
but so elegant!
230
00:21:55,721 --> 00:21:57,470
Such a sense of duty!
231
00:21:57,638 --> 00:21:59,888
She suffered, too...
Anyway.
232
00:22:00,181 --> 00:22:02,138
I was in Sissi's anteroom.
233
00:22:02,514 --> 00:22:04,138
In a private audience.
234
00:22:05,181 --> 00:22:07,263
Child, I must speak to you.
235
00:22:07,431 --> 00:22:09,596
Countess Esterhazy, leave us.
236
00:22:24,181 --> 00:22:26,305
Come, let me examine you.
237
00:22:31,890 --> 00:22:33,806
You look sickly.
238
00:22:34,015 --> 00:22:35,681
You are pale and green.
239
00:22:35,848 --> 00:22:37,181
Go outside, ride.
240
00:22:38,140 --> 00:22:41,806
Mother, I must leave the court.
Too much etiquette.
241
00:22:42,057 --> 00:22:44,139
I need love and tenderness.
242
00:22:44,348 --> 00:22:45,639
Enough self-pity!
243
00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:48,306
An Empress needs no tenderness.
244
00:22:51,098 --> 00:22:53,014
Such insolent language.
245
00:22:53,765 --> 00:22:54,597
Mother!
246
00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:56,723
Do not interrupt me.
247
00:22:57,724 --> 00:23:02,057
The Austrian court's strict etiquette
comes from Spain.
248
00:23:02,224 --> 00:23:06,390
Charles V's Imperial style.
There is no escaping it.
249
00:23:09,099 --> 00:23:11,307
I am in a private audience, dammit!
250
00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:13,890
Papili, take me to the forest.
251
00:23:14,474 --> 00:23:15,848
What are you doing?
252
00:23:17,641 --> 00:23:18,765
What's that?
253
00:23:19,141 --> 00:23:20,473
What...
254
00:23:20,891 --> 00:23:21,723
this?
255
00:23:22,516 --> 00:23:23,848
Yes, that.
256
00:23:24,724 --> 00:23:26,224
This is...
257
00:23:29,434 --> 00:23:33,141
At night when I sleep
my comforter falls off
258
00:23:33,309 --> 00:23:36,516
so I thought if I tied it
with my belt,
259
00:23:36,684 --> 00:23:39,308
I wouldn't lose it.
260
00:23:39,475 --> 00:23:40,308
Understand?
261
00:23:44,475 --> 00:23:46,849
And the sweater on your head?
262
00:23:48,850 --> 00:23:52,308
So my ears don't get cold.
No, my head.
263
00:23:52,517 --> 00:23:54,475
At night when I sleep.
264
00:23:59,643 --> 00:24:03,309
Put on some pajamas.
I'll turn up the heat.
265
00:24:12,976 --> 00:24:14,225
Thanks!
266
00:24:16,018 --> 00:24:18,309
Now it's boiling in here.
267
00:24:18,518 --> 00:24:20,309
A real sauna.
268
00:24:21,518 --> 00:24:23,560
He wasn't thrilled with Sissi.
269
00:24:24,477 --> 00:24:28,476
So not thrilled,
I was sent to boys boarding school.
270
00:24:28,644 --> 00:24:30,726
The Institute of Christian Brothers.
271
00:24:35,519 --> 00:24:38,476
Happy birthday Guillaume,
biggest fag.
272
00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:40,185
Hurry up!
273
00:24:42,144 --> 00:24:43,351
Come on!
274
00:24:48,311 --> 00:24:49,393
Ready...
275
00:24:51,227 --> 00:24:53,186
Lights out!
276
00:24:57,728 --> 00:24:59,852
That noise in the dorm.
277
00:25:01,812 --> 00:25:05,811
And I could see my neighbor.
Thomas or Stephan.
278
00:25:05,978 --> 00:25:08,311
The way he went about it was odd.
279
00:25:10,187 --> 00:25:12,019
Pity the poor girl.
280
00:25:12,187 --> 00:25:15,019
Just the idea of being the mattress!
281
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:21,020
As I was told later,
close your eyes and think of England.
282
00:25:23,771 --> 00:25:28,353
It felt more like a Turkish prison
than a cricket field.
283
00:25:30,729 --> 00:25:32,770
One night I had tachycardia
284
00:25:32,979 --> 00:25:35,812
and they all gave me a heart massage.
285
00:25:36,021 --> 00:25:37,728
119 boys on me.
286
00:25:37,938 --> 00:25:39,228
I thought I'd die.
287
00:25:39,896 --> 00:25:41,562
So faggot, sick again?
288
00:25:42,354 --> 00:25:44,520
You fake it, don't you? Fag!
289
00:25:45,021 --> 00:25:46,103
The monitor!
290
00:25:46,271 --> 00:25:47,437
Hurry up!
291
00:25:52,397 --> 00:25:53,938
There's no one.
292
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:55,479
Really?
293
00:25:57,147 --> 00:25:58,104
My one friend,
294
00:25:58,314 --> 00:26:01,021
son of a farmer from Picardy.
Nicolas.
295
00:26:03,730 --> 00:26:05,729
See how they freaked out?
296
00:26:06,689 --> 00:26:08,479
Like little rats, man!
297
00:26:09,564 --> 00:26:10,479
Okay, good night.
298
00:26:17,814 --> 00:26:19,272
It's ice cold in here.
299
00:26:38,856 --> 00:26:42,064
Two years of hazing
never killed anyone.
300
00:26:46,315 --> 00:26:48,398
Dad says you're a crybaby.
301
00:26:49,649 --> 00:26:52,023
Speaking of Dad... here.
302
00:26:53,107 --> 00:26:54,398
For him.
303
00:26:55,399 --> 00:26:58,023
Not just insults?
He's in a lousy mood.
304
00:27:04,774 --> 00:27:06,398
He read my letter.
305
00:27:06,982 --> 00:27:08,815
Two rats eating each other.
306
00:27:11,441 --> 00:27:14,231
Most people see a butterfly.
307
00:27:19,108 --> 00:27:20,941
Put down butterfly then.
308
00:27:24,358 --> 00:27:26,482
I never got the test results.
309
00:27:26,983 --> 00:27:29,816
Mum...
what did the psychiatrists say?
310
00:27:31,983 --> 00:27:35,649
You're a narcissist
and a drama queen. What else?
311
00:27:37,233 --> 00:27:38,607
By the way,
312
00:27:38,858 --> 00:27:40,399
forget Picardy this weekend.
313
00:27:40,567 --> 00:27:41,774
New school.
314
00:27:43,483 --> 00:27:45,399
A new boarding school?
315
00:27:46,484 --> 00:27:48,483
- It's midyear.
- It's decided.
316
00:27:50,234 --> 00:27:51,692
If it's decided...
317
00:27:56,484 --> 00:27:57,983
- But Nicolas...
- Stop.
318
00:27:59,443 --> 00:28:02,817
I have no desire
to go to a boarding school
319
00:28:03,026 --> 00:28:05,442
in the boondocks of England...
320
00:28:05,609 --> 00:28:07,733
In England?
321
00:28:07,901 --> 00:28:09,442
My new school...
322
00:28:10,693 --> 00:28:12,067
It's in England?
323
00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:15,484
In England.
324
00:28:18,277 --> 00:28:20,234
England...
325
00:28:23,985 --> 00:28:25,651
England...
326
00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:29,401
I discovered England.
327
00:28:36,069 --> 00:28:39,609
Where you can walk
with a pumpkin on your head...
328
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,694
...or turkeys on a leash,
with no remarks
329
00:28:44,903 --> 00:28:45,735
besides...
330
00:28:56,403 --> 00:29:00,194
Where every discomfort
gets an encouraging...
331
00:29:01,653 --> 00:29:04,235
Yes, the English look unhealthy
332
00:29:04,778 --> 00:29:06,860
but it's such a pleasure.
333
00:29:11,278 --> 00:29:14,611
Where instead of coffee
you're always offered...
334
00:29:26,612 --> 00:29:28,070
It was wonderful.
335
00:29:28,237 --> 00:29:32,278
Goodbye Turkish prison,
hello cricket field.
336
00:29:47,613 --> 00:29:50,071
Besides cricket, it was great.
337
00:29:56,613 --> 00:29:59,029
And that's where I met Jeremy.
338
00:30:16,323 --> 00:30:19,238
Besides cricket and rowing,
it was great.
339
00:30:34,448 --> 00:30:38,072
Besides cricket, rowing and rugby,
it was great.
340
00:30:41,824 --> 00:30:43,281
What's up, friend?
341
00:30:49,324 --> 00:30:51,698
What will horse-riding be like?
342
00:31:43,451 --> 00:31:45,241
Is it pretty here?
343
00:31:46,034 --> 00:31:47,075
Very pretty.
344
00:31:51,451 --> 00:31:52,991
No, that's horrific.
345
00:31:53,409 --> 00:31:54,450
Come on!
346
00:31:56,659 --> 00:31:58,075
Melitta, godammit!
347
00:32:00,867 --> 00:32:02,366
They drive me crazy.
348
00:32:03,034 --> 00:32:04,700
Such constant pains!
349
00:32:04,867 --> 00:32:06,992
Back to the kitchen!
350
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,159
Enough! Dirt everywhere!
351
00:32:09,327 --> 00:32:13,451
Foie-gras, toast, white wine,
whatever they want.
352
00:32:27,535 --> 00:32:29,034
Take your pill?
353
00:32:29,202 --> 00:32:30,451
What pill?
354
00:32:30,910 --> 00:32:32,534
You don't have 100.
355
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:36,410
Sorry but what pill do you mean?
356
00:32:36,578 --> 00:32:38,535
Your pill...
357
00:32:39,078 --> 00:32:40,160
It's you?
358
00:32:42,453 --> 00:32:43,827
Yes, it's me.
359
00:32:45,119 --> 00:32:45,993
Night, Dad.
360
00:32:51,453 --> 00:32:54,660
That face,
when he saw it was me, not Mum.
361
00:32:56,161 --> 00:32:59,785
I saw in his eyes
he understood I was a girl.
362
00:33:02,578 --> 00:33:04,703
Finally, Dad understands!
363
00:33:04,870 --> 00:33:07,703
Scram, old chap.
You're on my pillow.
364
00:33:07,870 --> 00:33:09,828
I don't need your farts.
365
00:33:10,037 --> 00:33:11,661
Go to sleep. Enough!
366
00:33:13,370 --> 00:33:15,036
Okay then, goodnight.
367
00:33:15,287 --> 00:33:16,786
Right. Goodnight.
368
00:33:19,870 --> 00:33:21,244
The door.
369
00:33:21,995 --> 00:33:22,994
Thank you.
370
00:33:45,996 --> 00:33:48,412
Why isn't my mother happy?
371
00:33:50,705 --> 00:33:53,204
At last I'm a girl, like her...
372
00:33:55,538 --> 00:33:57,204
How silly of me!
373
00:33:58,330 --> 00:34:00,579
I look too much like her.
374
00:34:01,580 --> 00:34:05,038
Of course, I should imitate
women other than her.
375
00:34:07,497 --> 00:34:10,371
The women I like will inspire me.
376
00:34:11,039 --> 00:34:12,663
I adore my grandmother.
377
00:34:15,581 --> 00:34:17,746
Bubbles for globules, honey!
378
00:34:26,539 --> 00:34:30,455
The only problem is that
she gets her words wrong.
379
00:34:31,665 --> 00:34:32,997
So?
380
00:34:34,248 --> 00:34:36,456
Singing along, my bimbette?
381
00:34:39,873 --> 00:34:41,956
I'm fine. And you, Babou?
382
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,747
The sun down south is thunderous.
383
00:34:46,915 --> 00:34:48,747
Here it's raining turds.
384
00:34:49,207 --> 00:34:50,956
It's blinking, my pussy.
385
00:34:52,332 --> 00:34:53,497
Glad to hear it.
386
00:34:54,165 --> 00:34:57,289
I almost shot a communist in a tank,
one pine.
387
00:34:57,915 --> 00:34:59,706
But I wiped it off.
388
00:35:01,874 --> 00:35:03,665
A communist in a tank?
389
00:35:04,333 --> 00:35:05,248
My tenor...
390
00:35:05,458 --> 00:35:08,790
never paint yourself,
never feel yourself.
391
00:35:08,958 --> 00:35:10,790
Don't sniff or whisper.
392
00:35:10,999 --> 00:35:12,665
And never petrify yourself.
393
00:35:12,999 --> 00:35:14,332
Expensive?
394
00:35:14,499 --> 00:35:16,540
Very expensive, Babou.
395
00:35:17,624 --> 00:35:19,623
Why not use your feet?
396
00:35:20,749 --> 00:35:21,665
My angel...
397
00:35:21,833 --> 00:35:24,998
the clown brushes his teeth
at the circus.
398
00:35:25,499 --> 00:35:26,665
Okay?
399
00:35:28,791 --> 00:35:31,208
- Love you, bimbette.
- Me too, Papou.
400
00:35:31,417 --> 00:35:32,749
I mean Babou.
401
00:35:34,709 --> 00:35:38,041
I'm getting sick and tired
of Radio Londres.
402
00:35:41,709 --> 00:35:43,666
Maria, the table please.
403
00:35:43,834 --> 00:35:47,291
If I mix that with my mother,
what do I get?
404
00:35:49,834 --> 00:35:52,666
Fuck a duck, Maria, it was divine.
405
00:35:54,084 --> 00:35:55,416
It doesn't work.
406
00:35:57,375 --> 00:35:58,667
There are my aunts!
407
00:35:58,835 --> 00:36:01,542
My aunts are great. So feminine...
408
00:36:02,251 --> 00:36:04,584
One lives in LA.
She always says...
409
00:36:04,751 --> 00:36:06,792
Men are easy.
410
00:36:07,793 --> 00:36:09,750
At first, give them a lot.
411
00:36:11,210 --> 00:36:12,834
And I mean a lot.
412
00:36:14,626 --> 00:36:16,459
Once they get hooked,
413
00:36:16,626 --> 00:36:18,292
you stop giving.
414
00:36:18,543 --> 00:36:20,459
Grab them by the balls.
415
00:36:21,168 --> 00:36:22,334
And squeeze.
416
00:36:25,501 --> 00:36:27,710
Her big thing is Gay Pride.
417
00:36:27,877 --> 00:36:31,001
The guys there
are all so charming.
418
00:36:33,794 --> 00:36:36,460
Each of them has an artistic side.
419
00:36:37,461 --> 00:36:40,335
Either they sell antiques or flowers.
420
00:36:41,961 --> 00:36:44,293
What do you want to do later?
421
00:36:45,627 --> 00:36:47,043
I don't know...
422
00:36:49,002 --> 00:36:50,335
Journalist.
423
00:36:51,211 --> 00:36:52,918
Not antique salesman?
424
00:36:57,545 --> 00:36:58,669
And the other one...
425
00:36:59,253 --> 00:37:00,544
Mi amor...
426
00:37:01,420 --> 00:37:04,169
You looked stunning last night.
427
00:37:04,378 --> 00:37:05,961
I had no idea !
428
00:37:08,628 --> 00:37:10,752
Because usually, sorry...
429
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,336
you're a real shambles.
430
00:37:13,753 --> 00:37:14,919
A fatal wreck.
431
00:37:15,795 --> 00:37:19,211
For Morocco
along with your mum and brothers,
432
00:37:19,378 --> 00:37:22,669
I invited the wallflower
and that hick of hers.
433
00:37:23,212 --> 00:37:27,628
Come make us laugh
or it will be terribly gloomy.
434
00:37:31,171 --> 00:37:33,628
When you're funny, I'm all yours.
435
00:37:37,963 --> 00:37:40,003
Admit it was irresistible.
436
00:37:40,671 --> 00:37:43,253
Why limit myself to my family?
437
00:37:43,963 --> 00:37:45,628
There are lots of women.
438
00:37:46,296 --> 00:37:48,670
They all have something special.
439
00:37:49,171 --> 00:37:50,337
All of them.
440
00:37:50,754 --> 00:37:52,712
I started looking at them...
441
00:37:53,713 --> 00:37:55,754
examining every gesture,
442
00:37:56,214 --> 00:37:57,921
every attitude,
443
00:37:58,172 --> 00:37:59,754
every glance...
444
00:38:00,255 --> 00:38:01,671
every little tick.
445
00:38:02,005 --> 00:38:03,838
How Martine crosses her legs,
446
00:38:04,589 --> 00:38:06,379
How Isabel touches her hair.
447
00:38:06,964 --> 00:38:09,213
How Christine looks away.
448
00:38:09,380 --> 00:38:12,088
How Victoire fiddles with her rings.
449
00:38:12,672 --> 00:38:14,671
Valerie's breathy "yes".
450
00:38:14,839 --> 00:38:16,296
Do that again.
451
00:38:17,172 --> 00:38:18,004
What?
452
00:38:18,255 --> 00:38:19,379
That "yes".
453
00:38:21,422 --> 00:38:22,629
You went "yes"...
454
00:38:22,797 --> 00:38:24,339
breathing in...
455
00:38:27,590 --> 00:38:29,005
It was beautiful.
456
00:38:31,506 --> 00:38:33,005
It's amazing.
457
00:38:34,465 --> 00:38:36,964
I just understood something wild.
458
00:38:37,673 --> 00:38:41,797
In fact, the thing that sets
women apart the most...
459
00:38:42,631 --> 00:38:44,505
is their breath.
460
00:38:47,215 --> 00:38:48,964
It's softer.
461
00:38:49,173 --> 00:38:50,630
More varied.
462
00:38:51,465 --> 00:38:54,506
Less linear, less uniform.
That's it.
463
00:38:54,674 --> 00:38:57,298
Her breath in is a state of flux,
464
00:38:57,466 --> 00:39:00,756
depending if she is moved,
or concentrated,
465
00:39:00,924 --> 00:39:03,048
or seductive
466
00:39:03,507 --> 00:39:04,673
or charmed.
467
00:39:15,507 --> 00:39:16,631
And so...
468
00:39:16,882 --> 00:39:19,215
I learned them all.
469
00:39:20,466 --> 00:39:21,632
Every breath.
470
00:39:23,633 --> 00:39:25,466
All those respirations
471
00:39:26,633 --> 00:39:29,299
that made my heart beat as one
472
00:39:30,175 --> 00:39:31,299
with women.
473
00:41:40,471 --> 00:41:42,761
It's guy stuff, so butt out!
474
00:42:09,638 --> 00:42:12,512
Okay,
your brother tried to drown you,
475
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,763
but don't overreact.
476
00:42:19,639 --> 00:42:22,638
Listen... your aunt wants to eat.
477
00:42:23,389 --> 00:42:26,972
Go unpack and change.
You can't stay in uniform!
478
00:42:34,056 --> 00:42:35,888
So there's something else.
479
00:42:40,973 --> 00:42:42,930
Stop crying or I'll cry.
480
00:42:43,932 --> 00:42:45,223
Then I'll stop.
481
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:48,889
In fact...
482
00:42:49,307 --> 00:42:50,848
Mum, it's that...
483
00:42:51,599 --> 00:42:54,598
I love Jeremy but he doesn't love me.
484
00:42:54,890 --> 00:42:57,931
I think he's in love
with that dumb Liza.
485
00:42:58,099 --> 00:43:00,598
All she does is chew on her hair.
486
00:43:00,765 --> 00:43:03,056
It's awful. She's such a...
487
00:43:04,265 --> 00:43:05,973
You know what I mean?
488
00:43:06,307 --> 00:43:07,848
I think I got it.
489
00:43:09,057 --> 00:43:11,556
What do you think I should do?
490
00:43:16,558 --> 00:43:18,557
Lots of them live happy lives.
491
00:43:20,058 --> 00:43:22,390
What do you mean, lots of them?
492
00:43:23,641 --> 00:43:24,974
Yes, I mean...
493
00:43:26,475 --> 00:43:27,640
Lots of them.
494
00:43:28,891 --> 00:43:29,974
Lots of what?
495
00:43:31,308 --> 00:43:33,099
What do you mean "what"?
496
00:43:34,100 --> 00:43:35,599
Of...
497
00:43:39,433 --> 00:43:40,849
Of...
498
00:43:42,476 --> 00:43:44,641
You know what I mean, dammit!
499
00:43:46,309 --> 00:43:47,475
I don't.
500
00:43:47,642 --> 00:43:49,808
Boys who like boys.
Homos, fags!
501
00:43:49,976 --> 00:43:51,391
Are you that dumb?
502
00:43:52,601 --> 00:43:55,100
Go get changed. Dinnertime.
503
00:44:06,059 --> 00:44:08,100
We can eat in 15 minutes.
504
00:44:20,018 --> 00:44:21,976
What is she talking about?
505
00:44:24,810 --> 00:44:26,892
But I'm not a homo...
506
00:44:27,060 --> 00:44:29,101
because I'm your daughter
507
00:44:29,435 --> 00:44:31,559
who is attracted by a boy.
508
00:44:33,227 --> 00:44:34,976
What could be straighter?
509
00:44:35,185 --> 00:44:37,601
A girl attracted by a boy...
510
00:44:37,810 --> 00:44:40,018
It's not "lots of them".
511
00:44:41,811 --> 00:44:44,602
I'll show you "lots of them"...
512
00:44:44,769 --> 00:44:46,102
I can't believe it.
513
00:44:52,019 --> 00:44:53,310
So...
514
00:44:53,978 --> 00:44:56,352
if I'm not really...
515
00:44:57,311 --> 00:44:58,643
a girl...
516
00:45:00,644 --> 00:45:02,393
it means that...
517
00:45:05,978 --> 00:45:07,435
it means...
518
00:45:07,811 --> 00:45:10,311
I have to do my military service.
519
00:45:29,312 --> 00:45:31,228
Smallest line you can read.
520
00:45:32,104 --> 00:45:35,228
Behind the line... It's important.
521
00:45:35,479 --> 00:45:36,769
Nothing at all?
522
00:45:37,646 --> 00:45:40,270
Now that I have to be a boy again,
523
00:45:40,438 --> 00:45:44,520
how do I get out of missionary, no...
military service?
524
00:45:47,730 --> 00:45:50,270
So you mention a suicide attempt...
525
00:45:50,438 --> 00:45:51,520
Why?
526
00:45:57,896 --> 00:45:59,229
Because.
527
00:46:00,813 --> 00:46:01,729
Because what?
528
00:46:08,689 --> 00:46:10,646
Because he tried...
529
00:46:16,856 --> 00:46:17,896
to drown me.
530
00:46:19,064 --> 00:46:20,396
Who is he?
531
00:46:25,231 --> 00:46:26,146
The Other.
532
00:46:32,772 --> 00:46:33,938
I see.
533
00:46:42,898 --> 00:46:44,481
Why did he...
534
00:46:45,315 --> 00:46:46,606
try to drown you?
535
00:46:50,940 --> 00:46:52,314
Because...
536
00:46:55,940 --> 00:46:57,981
he found out that I...
537
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:02,981
that I'd had...
538
00:47:03,648 --> 00:47:05,232
a relationship...
539
00:47:06,983 --> 00:47:08,190
with a...
540
00:47:09,358 --> 00:47:10,190
A...?
541
00:47:12,566 --> 00:47:13,732
A what?
542
00:47:17,608 --> 00:47:18,732
A what?
543
00:47:32,733 --> 00:47:33,733
A what?
544
00:47:41,650 --> 00:47:42,816
A what?
545
00:47:48,692 --> 00:47:49,774
A what?
546
00:47:55,484 --> 00:47:56,358
Spit it out.
547
00:47:58,317 --> 00:47:59,524
A black guy.
548
00:48:04,651 --> 00:48:05,692
And...
549
00:48:17,735 --> 00:48:21,067
...what do you think of blacks?
Of the Army?
550
00:48:24,776 --> 00:48:26,317
I'm afraid.
551
00:48:28,235 --> 00:48:29,317
Why?
552
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:31,776
Because I...
553
00:48:32,611 --> 00:48:33,985
I spent...
554
00:48:36,486 --> 00:48:37,735
five years...
555
00:48:40,736 --> 00:48:43,235
in boarding school, only with...
556
00:48:43,486 --> 00:48:45,026
boys, and...
557
00:48:46,944 --> 00:48:49,026
I know what it is.
558
00:48:51,194 --> 00:48:52,026
I see.
559
00:48:54,819 --> 00:48:56,985
He imagined such filthy stuff,
560
00:48:57,194 --> 00:48:59,443
he wrote a four-page report.
561
00:48:59,611 --> 00:49:01,069
Yeah, right!
562
00:49:02,362 --> 00:49:03,611
Hello, young man.
563
00:49:04,653 --> 00:49:05,569
Have a seat.
564
00:49:07,237 --> 00:49:08,402
Give me that.
565
00:49:09,070 --> 00:49:10,736
Let's have a look.
566
00:49:12,528 --> 00:49:15,527
A little letter from his nice doctor.
567
00:49:18,528 --> 00:49:20,819
Obviously... yeah right...
568
00:49:21,403 --> 00:49:23,194
My poor boy...
569
00:49:23,778 --> 00:49:25,777
what does the report say?
570
00:49:26,737 --> 00:49:27,944
It says...
571
00:49:40,529 --> 00:49:41,528
You don't say...
572
00:49:46,196 --> 00:49:47,487
Oh shit.
573
00:49:50,529 --> 00:49:51,362
Excuse me.
574
00:50:06,614 --> 00:50:07,821
Sonny...
575
00:50:12,614 --> 00:50:14,279
Listen, young man...
576
00:50:14,947 --> 00:50:18,071
How many times a week
do you see a shrink?
577
00:50:19,155 --> 00:50:20,613
- Twice.
- At least.
578
00:50:22,572 --> 00:50:23,738
Just kidding.
579
00:50:25,655 --> 00:50:27,822
Young man, jokes aside,
580
00:50:28,406 --> 00:50:29,697
are you on meds?
581
00:50:36,948 --> 00:50:39,030
At least you're not alone!
582
00:50:40,615 --> 00:50:41,989
Just kidding.
583
00:50:43,198 --> 00:50:46,489
Young man,
you're unable to be in the Army.
584
00:50:48,031 --> 00:50:49,572
I'm sorry but...
585
00:50:49,740 --> 00:50:51,239
it's not possible.
586
00:50:53,073 --> 00:50:54,530
Not at all.
587
00:50:55,365 --> 00:50:56,781
At all at all...
588
00:50:57,657 --> 00:50:58,990
Not this time.
589
00:51:00,282 --> 00:51:01,573
I'm just kidding.
590
00:51:04,407 --> 00:51:05,656
Just kidding.
591
00:51:07,657 --> 00:51:09,656
If you want some advice,
592
00:51:11,199 --> 00:51:13,240
stay in analysis.
593
00:51:16,199 --> 00:51:17,740
And I'm not kidding.
594
00:51:19,741 --> 00:51:21,031
I took his advice,
595
00:51:21,574 --> 00:51:24,573
but this one
told me his patients antics.
596
00:51:24,741 --> 00:51:27,657
When I mentioned masturbation,
ashamed,
597
00:51:27,825 --> 00:51:29,116
he did this...
598
00:51:35,575 --> 00:51:37,574
All of this depressed me.
599
00:51:39,992 --> 00:51:41,532
When I get depressed,
600
00:51:42,575 --> 00:51:44,324
I found something...
601
00:51:45,783 --> 00:51:47,241
I travel.
602
00:51:47,908 --> 00:51:50,032
So to lessen the stress
603
00:51:50,742 --> 00:51:52,074
and the waistline,
604
00:51:52,242 --> 00:51:54,867
I decided on a Bavarian spa.
605
00:51:55,034 --> 00:51:56,992
Why Bavaria, you ask?
606
00:51:57,826 --> 00:52:01,367
I've always wanted to visit
Ludwig's castles.
607
00:52:01,993 --> 00:52:04,117
Because he's Sissi's cousin.
608
00:52:04,659 --> 00:52:06,200
We are what we are.
609
00:52:06,576 --> 00:52:07,992
Also because...
610
00:52:09,159 --> 00:52:11,533
if I'm becoming a homosexual,
611
00:52:11,701 --> 00:52:13,825
better to shoot for the top.
612
00:52:16,159 --> 00:52:17,408
Doctor...
613
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:26,826
Anyway.... I'm going to love it.
614
00:52:27,494 --> 00:52:28,701
They seem nice.
615
00:52:38,869 --> 00:52:40,701
Mr. Gallienne? I am Raymond.
616
00:52:45,077 --> 00:52:46,951
A sports massage, ja?
617
00:54:10,455 --> 00:54:11,787
That really hurts.
618
00:54:12,830 --> 00:54:14,204
Not the other one.
619
00:54:14,788 --> 00:54:16,704
Both, of course.
620
00:54:29,873 --> 00:54:31,330
It's incredibly painful!
621
00:54:31,498 --> 00:54:32,663
Calm down!
622
00:54:51,665 --> 00:54:53,581
I leave in smithereens,
623
00:54:53,749 --> 00:54:56,248
my back in major pain,
624
00:54:56,415 --> 00:55:00,456
praying my next appointment
will be less traumatic.
625
00:55:02,499 --> 00:55:04,873
The gods seem to have heard me.
626
00:55:13,249 --> 00:55:14,498
Follow me?
627
00:55:24,625 --> 00:55:25,582
In here.
628
00:55:27,583 --> 00:55:28,707
Come in.
629
00:55:32,875 --> 00:55:34,457
Undress.
630
00:55:39,625 --> 00:55:40,957
Seriously...
631
00:55:41,291 --> 00:55:42,874
it's an obsession here.
632
00:55:51,292 --> 00:55:53,708
Lie on your side, facing...
633
00:55:54,001 --> 00:55:55,416
the bathtub.
634
00:55:55,876 --> 00:55:56,708
I obey.
635
00:55:58,167 --> 00:55:59,791
It hurts a little here.
636
00:56:14,209 --> 00:56:16,501
My papa... he worked there.
637
00:56:17,002 --> 00:56:20,626
Really? Not to be indiscreet,
what did "vater" do?
638
00:56:22,710 --> 00:56:24,459
There is indiscretion.
639
00:56:26,085 --> 00:56:27,209
Excuse me.
640
00:56:27,377 --> 00:56:29,084
I'm sorry, Ingeborg.
641
00:56:33,835 --> 00:56:35,126
This will not hurt.
642
00:56:35,460 --> 00:56:37,584
Why on earth would it?
643
00:56:38,918 --> 00:56:40,251
What the fuck?
644
00:56:40,543 --> 00:56:41,959
Must relax anus.
645
00:56:45,711 --> 00:56:47,793
Don't overdo it. It's an enema.
646
00:56:47,961 --> 00:56:50,627
People do them every day.
It's healthy.
647
00:56:51,586 --> 00:56:52,543
Ready?
648
00:56:53,253 --> 00:56:57,252
Given my position,
it's hard to be any readier.
649
00:56:59,253 --> 00:57:00,752
You French are so funny!
650
00:57:00,961 --> 00:57:02,668
Here we go...
651
00:57:20,879 --> 00:57:23,169
No more hold it!
I'm dying, Ingeborg!
652
00:57:28,337 --> 00:57:29,961
Vacuum.
653
00:57:35,420 --> 00:57:36,628
Oh my God.
654
00:57:41,630 --> 00:57:43,337
You didn't diet before.
655
00:57:43,546 --> 00:57:44,754
What diet?
656
00:57:48,255 --> 00:57:51,337
For colotherapy,
you must diet before.
657
00:57:52,713 --> 00:57:54,837
You didn't have the liquid?
658
00:58:00,046 --> 00:58:01,795
We have to start over.
659
00:58:02,005 --> 00:58:02,837
Start over?
660
00:58:19,922 --> 00:58:21,005
Bitch.
661
00:58:28,214 --> 00:58:29,921
Deflowered by Ingeborg.
662
00:58:30,089 --> 00:58:32,380
That wasn't planned on.
663
00:58:33,381 --> 00:58:35,171
Tell me about the tube.
664
00:58:39,715 --> 00:58:40,881
The tube.
665
00:58:42,882 --> 00:58:44,047
I can't.
666
00:58:44,257 --> 00:58:46,214
Keeping my legs spread wide
667
00:58:46,382 --> 00:58:49,422
and walking like I had bulls balls...
668
00:58:51,007 --> 00:58:53,172
It's hard to be virile, right?
669
00:58:59,173 --> 00:59:01,006
Freaks me out, like sports.
670
00:59:01,465 --> 00:59:05,047
Still, I signed up
for swimming classes.
671
00:59:09,633 --> 00:59:10,882
- You okay?
- Enough.
672
00:59:11,049 --> 00:59:12,423
Go relax a little.
673
00:59:12,591 --> 00:59:14,465
Thanks, Bernard...
674
00:59:15,133 --> 00:59:16,340
I've had enough.
675
00:59:24,216 --> 00:59:25,090
Guillaume?
676
00:59:26,591 --> 00:59:28,007
What are you up to?
677
00:59:29,341 --> 00:59:30,382
I'm swimming.
678
00:59:30,591 --> 00:59:31,673
You swim?
679
00:59:33,091 --> 00:59:35,007
I swim like everyone.
680
00:59:36,341 --> 00:59:38,174
You working out too?
681
00:59:38,842 --> 00:59:41,758
You should. It's good for swimming.
682
00:59:42,384 --> 00:59:45,299
I heard myself say something so dumb.
683
00:59:47,134 --> 00:59:49,591
I can't. I have back trouble.
684
00:59:53,050 --> 00:59:53,924
Good God!
685
00:59:54,467 --> 00:59:57,508
I have no back trouble, just no balls
686
00:59:58,050 --> 00:59:59,549
to tell that asshole
687
00:59:59,717 --> 01:00:03,966
that I'd rather eat shit and die
than work out!
688
01:00:06,635 --> 01:00:07,467
I'm sorry.
689
01:00:07,635 --> 01:00:08,967
It's not a problem.
690
01:00:21,176 --> 01:00:23,175
You really dislike yourself.
691
01:00:31,968 --> 01:00:33,717
Cry, you'll pee less.
692
01:00:34,593 --> 01:00:36,343
I need to lie down.
693
01:00:36,511 --> 01:00:38,968
We can't have a little laugh?
694
01:00:39,136 --> 01:00:41,218
Such narcissism. Me, me, me.
695
01:00:41,386 --> 01:00:43,635
I need it. I lack self-esteem.
696
01:00:43,802 --> 01:00:45,426
You lack reserve.
697
01:00:45,594 --> 01:00:47,468
Who are you talking to?
698
01:00:50,427 --> 01:00:51,593
No one.
699
01:01:02,469 --> 01:01:04,511
You know, cari�o,
700
01:01:05,428 --> 01:01:07,886
it's simple. Just fall in love.
701
01:01:08,053 --> 01:01:11,594
If it's a boy, you're gay,
a girl, straight.
702
01:01:15,178 --> 01:01:16,886
When I was young,
703
01:01:17,053 --> 01:01:19,677
I was always told, in great detail,
704
01:01:19,845 --> 01:01:23,552
if I touched a boy before marriage,
I'd go to hell.
705
01:01:23,970 --> 01:01:26,886
So I bagged every girl at school
706
01:01:27,053 --> 01:01:29,052
and never became a lesbian.
707
01:01:30,053 --> 01:01:32,052
As long as you don't try,
708
01:01:32,428 --> 01:01:33,637
you can't know.
709
01:02:52,973 --> 01:02:54,264
Fresh off the boat?
710
01:02:54,806 --> 01:02:56,055
That's for sure.
711
01:02:57,265 --> 01:02:58,472
Where from?
712
01:03:00,557 --> 01:03:03,306
Near Casablanca, but I lost the...
713
01:03:03,516 --> 01:03:04,973
Cool, we're cousins.
714
01:03:12,266 --> 01:03:13,848
Want to come over?
715
01:03:14,641 --> 01:03:15,931
I'm Karim.
716
01:03:18,766 --> 01:03:20,181
Sissi... Just kidding.
717
01:03:22,849 --> 01:03:23,681
Got a car?
718
01:03:25,516 --> 01:03:27,848
Follow me. I'm close to Pantin.
719
01:03:29,808 --> 01:03:31,516
- Where?
- Near Pantin.
720
01:03:37,100 --> 01:03:39,516
- See you there?
- Out front.
721
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:45,099
It's hard to see.
722
01:03:45,267 --> 01:03:47,432
Where is Pantin?
723
01:03:48,058 --> 01:03:49,724
Working-class suburb.
724
01:03:51,017 --> 01:03:52,391
Forget about it.
725
01:03:56,225 --> 01:03:59,058
The lights broke. Give me your hand.
726
01:04:02,184 --> 01:04:04,642
- Cold hand.
- I'm a bit chilly.
727
01:04:24,768 --> 01:04:26,475
I'll make some coffee.
728
01:04:35,019 --> 01:04:35,851
Good evening.
729
01:04:36,310 --> 01:04:37,309
Hey.
730
01:04:38,185 --> 01:04:39,351
Nordine.
731
01:04:41,394 --> 01:04:42,768
I'm Tony.
732
01:04:55,102 --> 01:04:56,269
Who's he?
733
01:04:56,645 --> 01:04:57,769
The bitch.
734
01:05:02,978 --> 01:05:05,185
Karim, what are we doing?
735
01:05:05,686 --> 01:05:07,685
You suck then we fuck you.
736
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:12,435
Sorry, I'm double parked.
737
01:05:12,603 --> 01:05:14,435
I have to go. Sorry to...
738
01:05:14,603 --> 01:05:15,769
Don't panic.
739
01:05:15,978 --> 01:05:18,435
It's just a gangbang. Relax, man.
740
01:05:18,895 --> 01:05:20,685
What's her little name?
741
01:05:21,936 --> 01:05:23,185
My name is Guillaume.
742
01:05:23,353 --> 01:05:24,227
What?
743
01:05:24,603 --> 01:05:25,811
You're not Arab?
744
01:05:28,729 --> 01:05:30,561
Not from Casablanca?
745
01:05:34,521 --> 01:05:38,520
A misunderstanding.
I was on holiday near Casablanca.
746
01:05:39,187 --> 01:05:40,395
So you're a liar.
747
01:05:40,604 --> 01:05:41,645
Not at all.
748
01:05:41,937 --> 01:05:44,186
- A big liar.
- Drop it, Karim.
749
01:05:44,979 --> 01:05:47,520
No, I swear. I'm not a liar.
750
01:05:47,812 --> 01:05:48,895
Get lost!
751
01:05:49,062 --> 01:05:51,020
We're into Arabs, not liars!
752
01:06:38,481 --> 01:06:41,397
For a first try,
it was hard to get worse.
753
01:06:44,148 --> 01:06:45,605
And yet the second try...
754
01:06:48,773 --> 01:06:50,688
You prefer to shower first?
755
01:06:51,856 --> 01:06:53,023
Why shower?
756
01:06:53,190 --> 01:06:54,189
It's...
757
01:06:54,357 --> 01:06:55,481
more hygienic.
758
01:06:56,815 --> 01:06:59,189
If it's more hygienic...
759
01:07:08,065 --> 01:07:10,148
I have no desire to shower.
760
01:07:10,940 --> 01:07:13,273
I'm clean, dammit.
761
01:07:14,107 --> 01:07:16,148
I'll show you hygiene.
762
01:07:25,858 --> 01:07:27,607
It does a world of good.
763
01:07:27,775 --> 01:07:28,899
Perfect.
764
01:07:29,400 --> 01:07:30,482
My turn.
765
01:07:31,775 --> 01:07:34,315
He went to shower next.
766
01:07:34,566 --> 01:07:37,190
It lasted... forever!
767
01:07:38,525 --> 01:07:40,649
Child, I must speak to you.
768
01:07:47,025 --> 01:07:48,732
When he came back,
769
01:07:48,941 --> 01:07:51,525
he was stark naked. And I saw...
770
01:07:52,442 --> 01:07:53,858
a horse.
771
01:07:58,609 --> 01:08:01,441
I tried to think of England.
I couldn't.
772
01:08:02,192 --> 01:08:05,483
I was so scared
to be that horse's mattress,
773
01:08:05,651 --> 01:08:08,483
I heard my mother saying :
Obviously...
774
01:08:08,692 --> 01:08:09,983
Horses scare you.
775
01:08:10,526 --> 01:08:12,691
Of course it can't work.
776
01:08:14,359 --> 01:08:15,900
It's true.
777
01:08:18,359 --> 01:08:22,734
I realize I've always done everything
out of fear.
778
01:08:23,193 --> 01:08:25,359
Fear of disappointing Mum.
779
01:08:25,568 --> 01:08:26,401
Mum?
780
01:08:28,568 --> 01:08:31,901
And the only way to overcome the fear
781
01:08:32,068 --> 01:08:35,026
was to tame the object I feared.
782
01:08:36,027 --> 01:08:40,109
And the object
I fear above all others
783
01:08:42,235 --> 01:08:43,734
is the horse.
784
01:08:44,985 --> 01:08:46,609
What... horse?
785
01:09:01,403 --> 01:09:04,693
I signed up at a riding school
outside Paris.
786
01:09:04,986 --> 01:09:07,735
I went there every morning
at daybreak.
787
01:09:08,361 --> 01:09:10,652
Me in the box, with the horse.
788
01:09:11,903 --> 01:09:13,193
So scary.
789
01:09:19,695 --> 01:09:20,736
You can do it.
790
01:09:22,779 --> 01:09:24,403
But on one condition.
791
01:09:24,779 --> 01:09:26,903
You're no longer 8 and a half.
792
01:09:27,320 --> 01:09:28,444
Okay?
793
01:09:32,154 --> 01:09:33,361
Go ahead.
794
01:09:41,445 --> 01:09:43,569
Do exactly as I say.
795
01:09:47,071 --> 01:09:48,445
Tie the reins.
796
01:09:48,613 --> 01:09:50,779
- What?
- Tie the reins.
797
01:10:01,780 --> 01:10:02,612
Like this?
798
01:10:05,988 --> 01:10:07,695
Now let go of them.
799
01:10:12,321 --> 01:10:13,529
Like this?
800
01:10:15,322 --> 01:10:16,696
No more stirrups.
801
01:10:22,406 --> 01:10:23,696
Like this?
802
01:10:27,447 --> 01:10:29,030
Now close your eyes.
803
01:10:37,739 --> 01:10:39,446
And trust the animal.
804
01:10:56,198 --> 01:10:57,281
Very good.
805
01:11:50,617 --> 01:11:53,449
Soon after,
I called my friend Clemence:
806
01:11:53,617 --> 01:11:54,491
What's doing?
807
01:11:54,659 --> 01:11:56,074
Dinner with the girls.
808
01:11:56,242 --> 01:11:57,158
I'm coming!
809
01:11:57,325 --> 01:11:59,741
No, you don't even know them.
810
01:11:59,909 --> 01:12:02,241
I'll wear a skirt and heels,
if necessary!
811
01:12:03,492 --> 01:12:05,783
Don't hog the conversation.
812
01:12:05,950 --> 01:12:08,574
Why on earth would you say that?
813
01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:12,742
I go,
fortunately not in a skirt and heels,
814
01:12:13,160 --> 01:12:14,367
and there...
815
01:12:15,368 --> 01:12:18,784
I see the most beautiful woman
in the world.
816
01:12:19,826 --> 01:12:23,534
The only woman
who could be so pretty,
817
01:12:24,243 --> 01:12:25,867
so cute
818
01:12:26,410 --> 01:12:27,450
and so beautiful
819
01:12:27,785 --> 01:12:28,825
at the same time.
820
01:12:28,993 --> 01:12:30,700
- Guillaume.
- Amandine.
821
01:12:37,326 --> 01:12:41,660
As I watch her,
tons of words whirl through my head.
822
01:12:41,827 --> 01:12:43,076
He's very effeminate.
823
01:12:43,244 --> 01:12:44,451
Hey, faggot!
824
01:12:44,619 --> 01:12:46,201
She's wearing panties!
825
01:12:46,369 --> 01:12:48,951
...so gay, you've become lesbian.
826
01:12:49,119 --> 01:12:50,493
No reserve... Scram!
827
01:12:50,661 --> 01:12:51,493
Queer...
828
01:12:51,661 --> 01:12:52,785
You should try.
829
01:12:52,952 --> 01:12:54,451
It's very simple...
830
01:12:54,619 --> 01:12:56,076
Boys and Guillaume,
dinner!
831
01:12:56,244 --> 01:12:58,910
Amid all that, I hear Clemence:
832
01:12:59,077 --> 01:13:01,160
Girls and Guillaume,
dinner!
833
01:13:02,119 --> 01:13:04,535
- What?
- Girls and Guillaume, dinner.
834
01:13:04,869 --> 01:13:06,660
I love the idea!
835
01:13:07,536 --> 01:13:10,327
"Girls and Guillaume, dinner!"
836
01:13:11,787 --> 01:13:14,452
Girls and Guillaume.
837
01:13:16,578 --> 01:13:18,661
Never thought I'd hear that.
838
01:13:18,828 --> 01:13:21,327
Girls... and Guillaume.
839
01:13:22,620 --> 01:13:23,994
I looked at Amandine.
840
01:13:24,953 --> 01:13:26,077
I smiled at her.
841
01:13:27,578 --> 01:13:28,869
And I wasn't afraid.
842
01:13:29,870 --> 01:13:32,786
So not afraid,
I mentioned my good thighs.
843
01:13:32,995 --> 01:13:34,452
I have good thighs.
844
01:14:03,954 --> 01:14:05,578
A few months later
845
01:14:05,746 --> 01:14:07,954
I saw my mother and I said...
846
01:14:08,330 --> 01:14:11,079
Mum, I have two things to tell you.
847
01:14:13,414 --> 01:14:15,329
The first is that...
848
01:14:16,122 --> 01:14:18,496
I've decided to write a play.
849
01:14:18,664 --> 01:14:22,704
About a boy who learns
to accept his heterosexuality
850
01:14:22,872 --> 01:14:26,538
in a family
that decided he was homosexual.
851
01:14:37,665 --> 01:14:39,955
Help me clear the table...
852
01:14:50,998 --> 01:14:53,289
There's something I don't get.
853
01:14:53,623 --> 01:14:55,622
This guy in the story...
854
01:14:57,206 --> 01:14:58,705
is 100% straight?
855
01:15:02,956 --> 01:15:04,706
If I understand correctly,
856
01:15:04,999 --> 01:15:06,623
his whole family
857
01:15:07,332 --> 01:15:10,456
is persuaded he's 100% gay.
858
01:15:10,874 --> 01:15:12,081
Right?
859
01:15:14,582 --> 01:15:18,873
But in fact, he's 100% straight.
860
01:15:19,332 --> 01:15:20,581
Right?
861
01:15:21,999 --> 01:15:23,498
Where's the proof?
862
01:15:25,874 --> 01:15:26,706
Of what?
863
01:15:26,874 --> 01:15:29,040
That he's 100% straight?
864
01:15:30,374 --> 01:15:34,166
How can the public know
he's 100% straight?
865
01:15:34,583 --> 01:15:38,082
His whole family is sure
he's 100% gay...
866
01:15:38,833 --> 01:15:42,457
Unless his whole family
is a bunch of idiots!
867
01:15:43,208 --> 01:15:44,916
Where is the proof...
868
01:15:46,292 --> 01:15:48,374
that he's 100% straight?
869
01:15:52,833 --> 01:15:54,166
First of all,
870
01:15:54,333 --> 01:15:57,166
it's not a question
of percentage, but...
871
01:15:58,667 --> 01:16:00,999
you're right to ask, Mum.
872
01:16:01,250 --> 01:16:03,833
The proof, as you call it,
873
01:16:04,001 --> 01:16:06,792
is that he fell in love with a woman.
874
01:16:08,209 --> 01:16:10,375
Repentant fag. But concretely?
875
01:16:17,959 --> 01:16:19,958
I look at my mother
876
01:16:21,084 --> 01:16:23,250
and I understand everything.
877
01:16:24,959 --> 01:16:28,375
I understand
that she's the one who's afraid.
878
01:16:30,084 --> 01:16:33,709
Afraid that I love a woman
other than her.
879
01:16:36,169 --> 01:16:38,459
It seems so completely wild!
880
01:16:39,794 --> 01:16:41,293
A fear like that.
881
01:16:42,752 --> 01:16:45,043
I want to say I always loved her.
882
01:16:45,210 --> 01:16:46,209
It's not because
883
01:16:46,419 --> 01:16:48,334
I love Amandine
884
01:16:49,210 --> 01:16:52,293
that I'll stop loving her.
885
01:16:55,627 --> 01:16:58,418
I want to tell her that in fact...
886
01:16:58,585 --> 01:17:00,960
It's thanks to her, I adore women.
887
01:17:01,128 --> 01:17:04,044
Thanks to her,
I learned to watch them
888
01:17:04,211 --> 01:17:06,252
and to listen, especially.
889
01:17:09,128 --> 01:17:10,960
I want to tell her that...
890
01:17:16,545 --> 01:17:18,002
to tell her...
891
01:17:23,003 --> 01:17:26,877
that it's her reserve...
that gave me words.
892
01:17:29,171 --> 01:17:31,045
Her elegance
893
01:17:31,546 --> 01:17:33,336
gave me good bearing.
894
01:17:34,837 --> 01:17:38,545
Her humor, the desire to laugh
and make others laugh.
895
01:17:39,879 --> 01:17:41,586
And her confidence
896
01:17:42,046 --> 01:17:43,878
that gave me courage.
897
01:17:46,921 --> 01:17:48,420
I want to tell her...
898
01:17:51,129 --> 01:17:52,878
I want to tell her
899
01:17:54,296 --> 01:17:56,336
it's thanks to her
900
01:17:56,671 --> 01:17:58,254
that I am here.
901
01:18:01,047 --> 01:18:02,337
I want...
902
01:18:06,213 --> 01:18:07,712
but I can't.
903
01:18:09,547 --> 01:18:13,046
I can't because if I do, I'll cry...
904
01:18:13,963 --> 01:18:15,879
and boys don't cry.
905
01:18:19,755 --> 01:18:21,046
No, and...
906
01:18:21,255 --> 01:18:23,087
I know her.
907
01:18:24,047 --> 01:18:25,962
If I say all that...
908
01:18:26,630 --> 01:18:28,672
it'll make her uncomfortable.
909
01:18:30,589 --> 01:18:33,255
She's very reserved, my mother.
910
01:18:37,714 --> 01:18:41,255
Even if she sometimes
calls me "baby-doll",
911
01:18:41,881 --> 01:18:44,547
she knows that I am a boy.
912
01:18:45,214 --> 01:18:46,588
That's how it is.
913
01:18:47,631 --> 01:18:50,630
Even if we pretended the opposite,
914
01:18:50,798 --> 01:18:52,213
she and I.
915
01:18:53,589 --> 01:18:56,047
It made our lives easier.
916
01:18:58,757 --> 01:19:00,881
Hers, to have a daughter.
917
01:19:02,215 --> 01:19:03,423
And mine...
918
01:19:04,799 --> 01:19:08,131
to set myself apart from my brothers.
919
01:19:10,049 --> 01:19:11,714
To distinguish myself.
920
01:19:13,174 --> 01:19:15,214
But all that's over now.
921
01:19:16,090 --> 01:19:17,423
It's over...
922
01:19:17,965 --> 01:19:20,381
because I love Amandine.
923
01:19:21,132 --> 01:19:22,798
And Amandine loves me.
924
01:19:23,507 --> 01:19:24,423
I'll say so.
925
01:19:27,258 --> 01:19:31,090
Concretely,
it's good you asked because...
926
01:19:31,300 --> 01:19:33,382
because concretely, as you say,
927
01:19:33,883 --> 01:19:38,507
the second thing is that
Amandine and I are getting married.
928
01:19:39,508 --> 01:19:40,799
With who?
929
01:20:08,509 --> 01:20:10,258
Break a leg.
930
01:20:10,426 --> 01:20:11,841
Love, Mum.
931
01:26:19,272 --> 01:26:22,396
Subtitling : Eclair Group
59568
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