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1
00:00:03,375 --> 00:00:05,678
( Jack Jones' "The
Love Boat" playing )
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00:00:11,729 --> 00:00:13,732
♪ Love ♪
3
00:00:15,605 --> 00:00:19,591
♪ Exciting and new ♪
4
00:00:19,615 --> 00:00:21,552
♪ Come aboard ♪
5
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:27,411
♪ We're expecting you ♪
6
00:00:27,435 --> 00:00:29,972
♪ And love ♪
7
00:00:31,612 --> 00:00:35,665
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
8
00:00:35,689 --> 00:00:37,625
♪ Let it flow ♪
9
00:00:39,632 --> 00:00:43,851
♪ It floats back to you ♪
10
00:00:43,875 --> 00:00:47,260
♪ The Love Boat ♪
11
00:00:47,284 --> 00:00:52,239
♪ Soon will be
making Another run ♪
12
00:00:52,263 --> 00:00:55,514
♪ The Love Boat ♪
13
00:00:55,538 --> 00:00:59,891
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
14
00:00:59,915 --> 00:01:02,231
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
15
00:01:02,255 --> 00:01:06,496
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
16
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:11,788
♪ And love ♪
17
00:01:11,812 --> 00:01:14,817
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
18
00:01:15,889 --> 00:01:19,875
♪ It's an open smile ♪
19
00:01:19,899 --> 00:01:24,286
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
20
00:01:24,310 --> 00:01:28,797
♪ It's love ♪
21
00:01:28,821 --> 00:01:34,499
♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪
22
00:01:38,444 --> 00:01:40,381
( upbeat theme playing )
23
00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:08,696
STUBING: Good afternoon.
Welcome aboard our Valentine's cruise.
24
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,969
Miss McCoy. Mr. Smith.
25
00:02:10,993 --> 00:02:12,472
Captain Stubing.
26
00:02:12,496 --> 00:02:15,948
Good afternoon, sir. You
seem very chipper this afternoon.
27
00:02:15,972 --> 00:02:18,620
Well, I always enjoy our
Valentine's Day singles cruise.
28
00:02:18,644 --> 00:02:19,891
Ah. Ah, yes.
29
00:02:19,915 --> 00:02:21,830
It's nice to see singles
who want to be couples
30
00:02:21,854 --> 00:02:24,202
instead of couples who want
to be single, for a change.
31
00:02:24,226 --> 00:02:26,340
And I have the perfect
way to pair them off.
32
00:02:26,364 --> 00:02:28,279
I've hired a matchmaker.
33
00:02:28,303 --> 00:02:29,482
Well, how quaint.
34
00:02:29,506 --> 00:02:31,620
Do we all sing "Hello, Dolly!"
when she comes aboard?
35
00:02:31,644 --> 00:02:32,622
( chuckles )
36
00:02:32,646 --> 00:02:34,260
No, sir. This is a computer.
37
00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:35,898
The passengers fill out cards,
38
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:37,903
and then a man feeds
them into the computer,
39
00:02:37,927 --> 00:02:42,681
and bingo: boy meets Valentine
cruise girl of his dreams.
40
00:02:42,705 --> 00:02:45,188
Ingenious. I thought so.
41
00:02:45,212 --> 00:02:46,792
Do you have a card for me?
42
00:02:46,816 --> 00:02:49,030
Well, sir, it's just a
novelty icebreaker.
43
00:02:49,054 --> 00:02:52,105
You certainly don't need
a computer to get a date.
44
00:02:52,129 --> 00:02:53,909
Heh. Of course not.
45
00:02:53,933 --> 00:02:56,884
I just think that a captain
should set an example.
46
00:02:56,908 --> 00:02:58,988
You know, uh, get
into the swing of things.
47
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,826
Mm-hm. Yes, sir. I'll
put your name on the list.
48
00:03:00,850 --> 00:03:02,865
Oh, that's Stubing.
S-T-U-B-I-N...
49
00:03:02,889 --> 00:03:05,237
Mm. Right, sir. I
vaguely remember.
50
00:03:05,261 --> 00:03:07,710
( chuckles )
51
00:03:07,734 --> 00:03:10,417
Isn't this exciting? They've
got all kinds of activities.
52
00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:15,363
Oh, yes, I see many activities
I could be interested in.
53
00:03:15,387 --> 00:03:16,432
Oh, hello.
54
00:03:16,456 --> 00:03:18,203
Are you the ship's photographer?
55
00:03:18,227 --> 00:03:20,608
Oh, no, no. I'm here for
the same thing you are.
56
00:03:20,632 --> 00:03:22,313
The activities? You got it.
57
00:03:22,337 --> 00:03:25,054
Heh. Uh, I'm Betsy Carruthers.
Oh, Heather McKenzie.
58
00:03:25,078 --> 00:03:27,025
Penny Jacobs. Hello.
59
00:03:27,049 --> 00:03:28,795
Well, they've got lots
of interesting things
60
00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:30,467
lined up for us, huh?
61
00:03:30,491 --> 00:03:32,606
( indistinct chatter )
62
00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:35,435
Ooh, they certainly have.
63
00:03:36,039 --> 00:03:39,958
Oh, my dear, will
you look at that one?
64
00:03:39,982 --> 00:03:41,461
Hey, Chet. What's goin' on?
65
00:03:41,485 --> 00:03:42,564
How are you? Meet Sam.
66
00:03:42,588 --> 00:03:43,901
Hey, Sam. SAM: Hi, how are you?
67
00:03:43,925 --> 00:03:45,840
I see he brought his cameras.
68
00:03:45,864 --> 00:03:48,512
Well, I just happen to
take a few pictures myself.
69
00:03:48,536 --> 00:03:52,422
Ah, so then you're very
at home in the dark room.
70
00:03:52,446 --> 00:03:54,382
( laughs ) Heh.
71
00:03:57,726 --> 00:03:59,140
Uh, hi.
72
00:03:59,164 --> 00:04:01,145
I'm Adam Bricker.
May I have this dance?
73
00:04:01,169 --> 00:04:03,082
Heh. What dance?
74
00:04:03,106 --> 00:04:05,421
Well, you know how
these single cruises are.
75
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,794
I just wanted to
get my bid in first.
76
00:04:07,818 --> 00:04:09,732
I'm flattered, but the truth is,
77
00:04:09,756 --> 00:04:11,336
I didn't know this
was a singles cruise.
78
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,043
I just came for the sea
air and a chance to relax.
79
00:04:14,067 --> 00:04:16,770
At least, uh, can I
help you to your cabin?
80
00:04:17,375 --> 00:04:18,620
Alex.
81
00:04:18,644 --> 00:04:20,881
Adam. Adam Bricker.
82
00:04:22,454 --> 00:04:23,555
Alex.
83
00:04:24,792 --> 00:04:27,632
I'm sorry. You must
have the wrong person.
84
00:04:31,143 --> 00:04:33,458
How about the 50-cent tour?
85
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:37,468
That man, he looks exactly
like someone I once knew.
86
00:04:37,492 --> 00:04:39,573
Well, there's lots of
look-alikes in the world.
87
00:04:39,597 --> 00:04:42,180
I've often been told I look
like, uh, Clint Eastwood.
88
00:04:42,204 --> 00:04:43,750
Heh.
89
00:04:43,774 --> 00:04:45,822
Burt Reynolds?
90
00:04:45,846 --> 00:04:47,314
Woody Allen?
91
00:04:48,219 --> 00:04:49,197
Oh.
92
00:04:49,221 --> 00:04:51,370
( speaking indistinctly )
93
00:04:51,394 --> 00:04:53,106
JULIE: Well, they
said that they'd switch,
94
00:04:53,130 --> 00:04:54,610
so why don't you just
go ahead and do it?
95
00:04:54,634 --> 00:04:57,718
( speaks in French ) I
think it would be fine, okay?
96
00:04:57,742 --> 00:04:59,678
( speaking in French )
97
00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:09,013
Uh, heh, I'm sorry,
my French is lousy.
98
00:05:09,037 --> 00:05:11,275
Uh, j-just a minute please?
99
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:13,391
Excuse me, Gopher?
100
00:05:13,415 --> 00:05:15,699
GOPHER: Mm?
Could you help, please?
101
00:05:16,221 --> 00:05:17,535
Just a moment.
102
00:05:17,559 --> 00:05:19,973
Uh, how's your French?
I beg your pardon?
103
00:05:19,998 --> 00:05:21,211
( chuckles ) French.
104
00:05:21,235 --> 00:05:24,051
Mm. Ah.
105
00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:26,657
"We are Brigitte LaBlanc.
( speaks in French )
106
00:05:26,681 --> 00:05:30,099
"And, uh, Yvonne
Boulanger. ( speaks in French )
107
00:05:30,123 --> 00:05:32,104
"We do not speak English.
Would it be possible
108
00:05:32,128 --> 00:05:34,242
to obtain a
French-speaking interpreter?"
109
00:05:34,266 --> 00:05:35,647
Well, I'll just handle this.
110
00:05:35,671 --> 00:05:37,149
I'm practically bilingual.
111
00:05:37,174 --> 00:05:41,728
Really? Sure. Uh...
( speaks in French )
112
00:05:41,752 --> 00:05:43,300
( both laugh )
113
00:05:43,324 --> 00:05:44,902
What does that mean?
114
00:05:44,926 --> 00:05:46,540
It means my aunt's
pen is on the dresser.
115
00:05:46,564 --> 00:05:49,515
Oh, thanks. That's a
great conversation starter.
116
00:05:49,539 --> 00:05:50,683
( clears throat )
117
00:05:50,707 --> 00:05:54,515
( speaking in French )
118
00:05:59,697 --> 00:06:01,979
To service, uh... (
speaks in French )
119
00:06:02,003 --> 00:06:05,108
( both speaking in French )
120
00:06:21,485 --> 00:06:22,463
What did they say?
121
00:06:22,487 --> 00:06:23,899
I have no idea,
122
00:06:23,923 --> 00:06:25,304
but it's gonna
be fun finding out.
123
00:06:25,328 --> 00:06:27,063
( laughs )
124
00:06:29,036 --> 00:06:30,316
Straight through.
125
00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:31,574
Uh-huh.
126
00:06:34,317 --> 00:06:35,551
JULIE: Excuse me.
127
00:06:36,722 --> 00:06:37,701
Hello.
128
00:06:37,725 --> 00:06:39,739
Hello, doll face.
129
00:06:39,763 --> 00:06:42,346
Uh, the name's Julie McCoy.
You must be Nick Heider.
130
00:06:42,370 --> 00:06:43,516
Mm-hm. How do you do?
131
00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:44,985
And that must be our computer.
132
00:06:45,009 --> 00:06:48,929
Uh, sir, that is no
mere computer.
133
00:06:48,953 --> 00:06:51,168
With that computer, I've
paired off more couples
134
00:06:51,192 --> 00:06:53,005
than Noah and his ark.
135
00:06:53,029 --> 00:06:55,077
And who knows?
You might be next.
136
00:06:55,101 --> 00:06:56,714
Hey. Heh.
137
00:06:56,738 --> 00:06:58,653
Mr. Heider, I just
arrange these activities.
138
00:06:58,677 --> 00:07:00,124
I don't participate in them.
139
00:07:00,149 --> 00:07:01,794
Oh, sweetheart, trust me.
140
00:07:01,818 --> 00:07:05,158
Your deepest romantic needs
will be fulfilled by this machine.
141
00:07:06,597 --> 00:07:08,043
Matter of fact, you
might even become
142
00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:09,235
computerman's valentine.
143
00:07:11,074 --> 00:07:12,076
Mwah.
144
00:07:14,884 --> 00:07:16,030
Oh.
145
00:07:16,054 --> 00:07:17,768
Didn't I tell you you
were gonna meet him?
146
00:07:17,792 --> 00:07:19,136
( clicks tongue ) ( chuckles )
147
00:07:19,161 --> 00:07:21,378
Well, maybe he
thinks he's "him,"
148
00:07:21,402 --> 00:07:24,740
but to me, he is ho-hum.
149
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,748
( foghorn blowing )
150
00:07:28,685 --> 00:07:31,870
( all shouting )
151
00:07:31,894 --> 00:07:33,830
( upbeat theme playing )
152
00:07:39,714 --> 00:07:41,550
( inaudible dialogue )
153
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,837
( inaudible dialogue )
154
00:08:02,404 --> 00:08:04,251
And here we are, ladies.
155
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,554
Voilà.
156
00:08:05,578 --> 00:08:07,659
( speaks in French )
157
00:08:07,683 --> 00:08:08,928
Oh, merci.
158
00:08:08,952 --> 00:08:10,433
( speaks in French )
159
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:11,736
Merci beaucoup.
160
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,373
( chuckles ) (
speaks in French )
161
00:08:13,397 --> 00:08:18,084
Um, yes, so, uh, bon voyage.
162
00:08:18,108 --> 00:08:20,045
( playful theme playing )
163
00:08:21,149 --> 00:08:23,465
Brigitte, uh... Oui?
164
00:08:23,489 --> 00:08:24,702
Later?
165
00:08:24,726 --> 00:08:27,309
Pardon?
166
00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:29,302
( speaking in French )
167
00:08:32,244 --> 00:08:33,390
Oui? Oui.
168
00:08:33,414 --> 00:08:36,497
( speaks in French )
169
00:08:36,521 --> 00:08:37,634
( chuckles ) moonlight?
170
00:08:37,658 --> 00:08:41,276
GOPHER: Um... (
speaks in French )
171
00:08:41,301 --> 00:08:42,312
( both chuckle )
172
00:08:42,336 --> 00:08:44,339
Um, so hasta la vista.
173
00:08:46,279 --> 00:08:48,260
Au revoir. ( sighs )
174
00:08:48,284 --> 00:08:49,698
( speaks in French )
175
00:08:49,722 --> 00:08:52,170
( both speaking in French )
176
00:08:52,194 --> 00:08:53,374
GOPHER: Oui. Maybe tonight?
177
00:08:53,398 --> 00:08:55,446
Yeah. ( speaks in French )
178
00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:57,417
( all speaking in French )
179
00:08:57,441 --> 00:08:58,741
( chuckles )
180
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:01,849
Merci.
181
00:09:03,990 --> 00:09:05,031
( sighs )
182
00:09:06,229 --> 00:09:07,509
Yvonne,
183
00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:09,847
I don't know if I
can pull this off.
184
00:09:09,871 --> 00:09:12,320
He's so cute, I almost
started speaking English.
185
00:09:12,345 --> 00:09:15,796
Listen, Brigitte, we're
not going for cute.
186
00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:17,489
We're after gorgeous.
187
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:19,906
Well, okay,
188
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:21,811
but do we have to
change nationalities?
189
00:09:21,835 --> 00:09:23,416
American is ordinary.
190
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,951
There's a certain mystique
191
00:09:24,975 --> 00:09:27,156
about French girls
that drives men crazy.
192
00:09:27,180 --> 00:09:29,363
Believe me, I've
tried it and it works.
193
00:09:29,387 --> 00:09:31,000
Well, I told you about Harry,
194
00:09:31,024 --> 00:09:33,674
the stockbroker I met
on last year's cruise.
195
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:34,676
( sighs )
196
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,979
His name was Ben,
197
00:09:36,003 --> 00:09:38,018
and it only lasted three weeks.
198
00:09:38,042 --> 00:09:39,510
True.
199
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:41,427
( blows )
200
00:09:41,451 --> 00:09:43,666
But diamonds are forever,
201
00:09:43,690 --> 00:09:46,440
and that's what
speaking French gets you.
202
00:09:46,464 --> 00:09:50,616
Yvonne, for a rock like
that, you'd speak Swahili.
203
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,319
True.
204
00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:54,280
( mellow theme playing )
205
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:04,217
There you are. Mm-hm.
206
00:10:04,241 --> 00:10:05,654
Thank you. There you are.
207
00:10:05,678 --> 00:10:07,290
Now, just check off
the characteristics
208
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,661
that describe you best
209
00:10:08,685 --> 00:10:10,666
and be careful not
to crumple the card.
210
00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:13,540
Heh. Unless I want to end
up with someone who's folded,
211
00:10:13,564 --> 00:10:15,634
bent, spindled and mutilated.
212
00:10:16,571 --> 00:10:17,584
Okay.
213
00:10:17,608 --> 00:10:19,956
Do you ever play
the computer game?
214
00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:21,191
Oh, I don't think so.
215
00:10:21,215 --> 00:10:24,166
Me neither. I don't need
a machine to get women.
216
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:27,239
I need a machine
to fight them off.
217
00:10:27,263 --> 00:10:28,410
I believe you.
218
00:10:28,434 --> 00:10:30,716
You do?
219
00:10:30,740 --> 00:10:33,411
Did I ever tell you about this
swampland that I have for sale?
220
00:10:34,684 --> 00:10:36,196
( chuckles )
221
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:38,201
( piano playing mellow music )
222
00:10:38,225 --> 00:10:40,006
I get it.
223
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,543
You're trying to figure
out how to ask me
224
00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:44,283
to have a mad,
passionate affair with you.
225
00:10:44,307 --> 00:10:45,509
( laughs )
226
00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:50,120
Well, I'm not always right.
227
00:10:51,358 --> 00:10:53,540
Doc,
228
00:10:53,564 --> 00:10:55,466
you see the guy in the
blue shirt over there?
229
00:10:59,545 --> 00:11:01,247
Aren't they the same man?
230
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,019
Well, there's a
strong resemblance.
231
00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:13,021
Good-looking guy.
232
00:11:13,045 --> 00:11:16,163
Good-looking, bright, talented.
233
00:11:16,187 --> 00:11:18,134
We were a team at an ad agency.
234
00:11:18,158 --> 00:11:20,774
I wrote the lyrics,
Alex wrote the music.
235
00:11:20,798 --> 00:11:22,801
You remember the
Cupid Cologne jingle?
236
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:28,292
♪ Maker her your own
With Cupid Cologne ♪
237
00:11:28,316 --> 00:11:29,295
Sure.
238
00:11:29,319 --> 00:11:30,766
We wrote that.
239
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,338
We made Cupid the best-selling
cologne in the country.
240
00:11:33,363 --> 00:11:36,246
Millions bought it, thinking
they'd get instant sex appeal.
241
00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:37,483
I know.
242
00:11:37,507 --> 00:11:40,022
Smell me. ( laughs )
243
00:11:40,046 --> 00:11:41,927
Doc, we were the
best. We had plans.
244
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,135
We were gonna be married.
Open our own agency.
245
00:11:45,159 --> 00:11:48,242
Then one day, five years ago,
246
00:11:48,266 --> 00:11:50,281
Alex disappeared.
247
00:11:50,305 --> 00:11:51,685
I had police and
private detectives
248
00:11:51,709 --> 00:11:53,790
on the case for months.
249
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,937
When they didn't
find him, I assumed...
250
00:11:56,721 --> 00:11:57,723
The worst.
251
00:11:58,893 --> 00:11:59,960
Yeah.
252
00:12:04,842 --> 00:12:06,588
Doc, that's him.
253
00:12:06,613 --> 00:12:08,181
I'd know him anywhere.
254
00:12:09,486 --> 00:12:10,487
Alex.
255
00:12:11,425 --> 00:12:12,536
Hm?
256
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,597
It's me. Lilly.
257
00:12:18,610 --> 00:12:20,757
Well, it's nice to
meet you, Lilly,
258
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:24,055
but my name is
still Ted, Ted Wilcox.
259
00:12:25,895 --> 00:12:27,909
You look exactly like someone.
260
00:12:27,933 --> 00:12:29,312
Alex Fowler.
261
00:12:29,336 --> 00:12:32,241
Well, Lilly, if he doesn't
show up, it's his loss.
262
00:12:33,748 --> 00:12:35,326
As a matter of fact,
I hope he doesn't.
263
00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:37,394
Then maybe we can
have dinner together.
264
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,406
Um, yes, I'd like that.
265
00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:42,066
Okay. See you then.
266
00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:49,730
Well, they say we all
have a twin somewhere.
267
00:12:49,754 --> 00:12:52,804
That's him. That's Alex.
268
00:12:52,828 --> 00:12:54,942
Come on. He said his name's Ted.
269
00:12:54,966 --> 00:12:57,215
Doc, I loved that
man for four years.
270
00:12:57,239 --> 00:12:59,476
My heart knows it's Alex.
271
00:13:03,187 --> 00:13:05,536
Excuse me, is this
a 272 mini-scan?
272
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:07,742
Well, with some
modifications of my own.
273
00:13:07,766 --> 00:13:08,877
Are you into computers?
274
00:13:08,901 --> 00:13:10,581
Uh, I do geophysical research.
275
00:13:10,605 --> 00:13:12,920
Uh, I use computers
to analyze old fossils.
276
00:13:12,944 --> 00:13:15,160
Yeah, but how does it
work on young chicks?
277
00:13:15,184 --> 00:13:17,231
Ah, all right. That's
what we're here for.
278
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,292
There you go. Thank you.
279
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:22,946
STUBING: Miss McCoy.
280
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,015
Uh, yes, sir?
281
00:13:24,039 --> 00:13:25,519
Uh, would you describe me
282
00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:29,696
as "commanding" or "officious"?
283
00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:32,971
Um... Miss McCoy.
284
00:13:32,995 --> 00:13:35,242
Uh, sir, you're neither.
285
00:13:35,266 --> 00:13:38,651
You're, um, "statesmanlike."
286
00:13:38,675 --> 00:13:39,811
Ah.
287
00:13:41,382 --> 00:13:42,929
So are you.
288
00:13:42,953 --> 00:13:43,999
Thank you, sir.
289
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:45,024
Oh.
290
00:13:45,828 --> 00:13:47,976
"Statesmanlike."
291
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,171
Ah. Well, Mr. Heider,
are you just about ready?
292
00:13:52,343 --> 00:13:54,291
It... It's Nick to you, Julie.
293
00:13:54,315 --> 00:13:56,718
Let's just stick to
business, okay?
294
00:13:57,723 --> 00:13:59,838
Anything you say, doll face.
295
00:13:59,862 --> 00:14:01,810
Uh, may I have your
attention, please?
296
00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:03,447
Would everyone just
gather around here.
297
00:14:03,471 --> 00:14:04,884
We're about ready to roll.
298
00:14:04,908 --> 00:14:06,654
JULIE: Over here, by
the computer. Come on.
299
00:14:06,678 --> 00:14:08,860
NICK: Oh, thank
you, captain. Yeah.
300
00:14:08,884 --> 00:14:11,902
Now, let's make
onesomes into twosomes,
301
00:14:11,926 --> 00:14:14,775
singles into doubles,
shipmates into cabin-mates.
302
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,479
Good idea.
303
00:14:16,503 --> 00:14:18,985
Let's have a happy
Valentine cruise.
304
00:14:19,009 --> 00:14:20,022
Here we go.
305
00:14:20,046 --> 00:14:23,184
The first couple is...
306
00:14:25,092 --> 00:14:26,671
( keys clacking )
307
00:14:26,695 --> 00:14:28,276
( beeping )
308
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:29,582
Heather McKenzie...
309
00:14:31,775 --> 00:14:32,897
and...
310
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,931
Daryl Matson.
311
00:14:36,955 --> 00:14:39,459
Hey, hey!
312
00:14:42,001 --> 00:14:43,681
What science has
brought together,
313
00:14:43,705 --> 00:14:46,576
let no man put asunder.
314
00:14:47,814 --> 00:14:48,793
Hi, gorgeous.
315
00:14:48,817 --> 00:14:50,631
Uh, excuse me, uh, one second.
316
00:14:50,655 --> 00:14:53,071
Actually, you're supposed
to end up with me
317
00:14:53,095 --> 00:14:55,109
because, uh, I lent her my card.
318
00:14:55,133 --> 00:14:56,467
( chuckles )
319
00:14:58,943 --> 00:15:01,759
NICK: The second couple is...
320
00:15:01,783 --> 00:15:03,418
( keys clacking )
321
00:15:04,389 --> 00:15:07,340
Betsy Carruthers...
( keys clacking )
322
00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:08,646
and...
323
00:15:10,471 --> 00:15:11,985
Chet Maxwell.
324
00:15:12,009 --> 00:15:13,288
( crowd applauds )
325
00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:15,360
He's the one I wanted.
326
00:15:15,384 --> 00:15:16,830
Oh, lied again, huh?
327
00:15:16,854 --> 00:15:20,027
No, I can't understand it.
This time I told the truth.
328
00:15:30,788 --> 00:15:32,258
( speaking in French )
329
00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:35,912
Huh?
330
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,673
Oh... Oh, a light. Yeah, sure.
331
00:15:40,747 --> 00:15:42,394
Merci.
332
00:15:42,418 --> 00:15:43,898
You're French, right?
333
00:15:43,923 --> 00:15:46,538
( speaks in French )
334
00:15:46,562 --> 00:15:49,545
( French accent ): I'm
crazy about French girls.
335
00:15:49,569 --> 00:15:51,182
Yeah, crazy.
336
00:15:51,206 --> 00:15:52,619
( laughs )
337
00:15:52,643 --> 00:15:54,546
Penny Jacobs...
338
00:15:55,216 --> 00:15:56,729
( sighs )
339
00:15:56,753 --> 00:15:58,036
and...
340
00:16:00,663 --> 00:16:02,077
Sam Worth.
341
00:16:02,101 --> 00:16:03,847
Whoo!
342
00:16:03,871 --> 00:16:07,277
Honey, this is your lucky day.
343
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:15,476
Ah, bonjour.
344
00:16:15,501 --> 00:16:17,448
Uh, parlez-vous français?
345
00:16:17,472 --> 00:16:18,651
YVONNE: Gopher.
346
00:16:18,675 --> 00:16:20,243
Uh, excuse me.
347
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:24,198
Need help? Heh. I'm your homme.
348
00:16:24,222 --> 00:16:25,702
( chuckles )
349
00:16:25,726 --> 00:16:27,696
( speaking in French )
350
00:16:30,104 --> 00:16:31,651
( speaks in French )
351
00:16:31,675 --> 00:16:34,591
Uh, she wants to know
what Seymour's profession is.
352
00:16:34,615 --> 00:16:36,696
Tell her what do
you do for a living.
353
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:40,839
I'm a commodity trader.
Pork bellies, mainly.
354
00:16:40,863 --> 00:16:44,181
( speaks in French )
355
00:16:44,205 --> 00:16:45,184
Tycoon.
356
00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:46,654
Tycoon.
357
00:16:46,678 --> 00:16:48,259
( speaks in French )
358
00:16:48,283 --> 00:16:50,931
Uh, t-tell her, Yvonne,
359
00:16:50,955 --> 00:16:54,496
that I own a yacht
that is almost this size.
360
00:16:56,570 --> 00:16:57,915
( whistles, chuckles )
361
00:16:57,939 --> 00:17:00,923
( speaks in French )
362
00:17:00,947 --> 00:17:02,394
Oh, gee.
363
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:03,395
Yacht.
364
00:17:03,419 --> 00:17:04,766
GOPHER: Oui. You're right.
365
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:08,242
And the French word
for yacht is... yacht.
366
00:17:08,266 --> 00:17:10,202
( speaking in French )
367
00:17:13,078 --> 00:17:15,259
Oh. Ooh, la, la.
368
00:17:15,283 --> 00:17:16,696
( chuckles )
369
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,503
GOPHER: Yvonne? Yvonne?
370
00:17:19,528 --> 00:17:21,341
( speaks in French )
371
00:17:21,365 --> 00:17:23,547
You know your friend,
votre amie, Brigitte?
372
00:17:23,571 --> 00:17:24,849
( chuckles )
373
00:17:24,873 --> 00:17:27,244
( speaking in French )
374
00:17:32,826 --> 00:17:34,262
Sure do. Yeah.
375
00:17:37,338 --> 00:17:40,189
( speaks in French )
376
00:17:40,213 --> 00:17:42,982
Hello, hello, hello.
377
00:17:45,191 --> 00:17:48,108
Julie McCoy... Wait a minute.
378
00:17:48,132 --> 00:17:49,299
And...
379
00:17:52,610 --> 00:17:53,989
Nick Heider.
380
00:17:54,013 --> 00:17:56,328
( crowd applauds )
381
00:17:56,352 --> 00:17:57,965
Well, that about
wraps it up, gang.
382
00:17:57,989 --> 00:18:00,839
That's why you're a terrific
cruise director, Miss McCoy.
383
00:18:00,863 --> 00:18:03,312
You join in. I
did not join in, sir.
384
00:18:03,336 --> 00:18:05,819
And I'd like to get my hands
on whoever filled out a card
385
00:18:05,843 --> 00:18:07,121
with my name on it.
386
00:18:07,146 --> 00:18:08,124
( sighs )
387
00:18:08,149 --> 00:18:09,796
Uh, you forgot me.
388
00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:12,569
Oh, Captain Stubing, I'm sorry.
389
00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:14,596
Oh, I... I've got
your card right here.
390
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:18,517
( keys clacking )
391
00:18:18,541 --> 00:18:21,157
( computer beeping
) Captain Stubing...
392
00:18:21,181 --> 00:18:27,472
and... And... ( keys clacking )
393
00:18:27,496 --> 00:18:30,636
( computer honks, whistles,
makes crashing noise )
394
00:18:36,252 --> 00:18:37,587
Sorry, captain.
395
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,072
Oh.
396
00:18:41,096 --> 00:18:44,248
Well, they said it
was lonely at the top,
397
00:18:44,272 --> 00:18:46,420
but this is ridiculous.
398
00:18:46,444 --> 00:18:47,912
( inaudible dialogue )
399
00:18:55,032 --> 00:18:56,968
( upbeat theme playing )
400
00:19:05,424 --> 00:19:06,771
Ah, Brigitte.
401
00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:07,907
Oh, Gopher.
402
00:19:07,931 --> 00:19:09,410
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
403
00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:14,423
I mean, uh... ( both
speak in French )
404
00:19:14,447 --> 00:19:15,827
Gopher! GOPHER: Well...
405
00:19:15,851 --> 00:19:18,867
Just the guy we need.
406
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,274
Ask Brigitte... Yeah?
407
00:19:21,298 --> 00:19:24,113
If she'd like to have dinner
with my friend Walt here.
408
00:19:24,137 --> 00:19:25,740
Uh, that's me.
409
00:19:27,479 --> 00:19:29,516
Uh, Brigitte, um...
410
00:19:30,721 --> 00:19:33,638
( speaks in French )
411
00:19:33,662 --> 00:19:36,044
WALT: Yeah. ( speaks in French )
412
00:19:36,068 --> 00:19:37,469
Y-yeah.
413
00:19:39,041 --> 00:19:40,021
( speaks in French )
414
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:41,110
Good.
415
00:19:42,484 --> 00:19:44,647
She says she's sorry,
but she's all booked up.
416
00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:47,907
SEYMOUR: Pourquois
pas means that?
417
00:19:47,931 --> 00:19:49,679
Well, French is a
very concise language.
418
00:19:49,703 --> 00:19:52,485
She also said that your friend
has exceptionally large ears,
419
00:19:52,509 --> 00:19:53,655
uh, feet like an elephant,
420
00:19:53,679 --> 00:19:56,183
and a nose that
reminds her of a banana.
421
00:19:57,421 --> 00:19:59,067
Uh, I-I don't take
very kindly to that.
422
00:19:59,091 --> 00:20:00,872
Not very kindly.
423
00:20:00,896 --> 00:20:03,077
No... Uh, no,
Walt... Walt... Wait!
424
00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:04,816
So your feet look
like an elephant's,
425
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,521
but she was talking
about my nose!
426
00:20:07,545 --> 00:20:10,564
Yvonne, your friend sure
has a way with words.
427
00:20:10,588 --> 00:20:11,565
Ooh!
428
00:20:11,589 --> 00:20:13,525
( speaking in French )
429
00:20:15,934 --> 00:20:18,584
Must have been
something you said.
430
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:19,853
Brigitte.
431
00:20:19,877 --> 00:20:20,856
Oui?
432
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,599
( speaking in French )
433
00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:26,369
Pourquois pas.
434
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:29,498
Someday I'm gonna have
to find out what that means.
435
00:20:33,610 --> 00:20:35,547
( upbeat theme playing )
436
00:20:39,627 --> 00:20:41,641
Doc, it's weird.
437
00:20:41,665 --> 00:20:42,977
He invited me to dinner,
438
00:20:43,001 --> 00:20:45,316
but he still kept acting
as if he doesn't know me.
439
00:20:45,340 --> 00:20:47,990
How about this? He doesn't
know you and he isn't Alex.
440
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,995
But he is. I'm positive.
441
00:20:50,019 --> 00:20:53,203
He's wearing a ring I gave
him, the same as mine.
442
00:20:53,227 --> 00:20:55,208
BRICKER: Coincidence.
443
00:20:55,232 --> 00:20:57,480
Doc, these were handmade.
444
00:20:57,504 --> 00:20:59,419
Alex and I designed them.
445
00:20:59,443 --> 00:21:01,825
There aren't two other rings
like this in the whole world.
446
00:21:01,849 --> 00:21:05,388
Well, what if he is your
Alex, only he doesn't know it?
447
00:21:07,361 --> 00:21:08,340
Amnesia?
448
00:21:08,364 --> 00:21:10,413
Could be.
449
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:11,615
Oh.
450
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,088
I asked him about his past,
451
00:21:14,112 --> 00:21:15,659
and nothing matched.
452
00:21:15,683 --> 00:21:18,132
He said he's spent his
entire life in California.
453
00:21:18,156 --> 00:21:19,769
Hmm. I know that he grew up
454
00:21:19,793 --> 00:21:21,440
in Connecticut and went to Yale.
455
00:21:21,464 --> 00:21:24,849
Well, in certain amnesia
cases, people make up a past
456
00:21:24,873 --> 00:21:26,486
and believe it to be true.
457
00:21:26,510 --> 00:21:29,560
They'll take on a
whole new identity.
458
00:21:29,584 --> 00:21:31,397
He was a hotshot
on Madison Avenue.
459
00:21:31,421 --> 00:21:33,169
Now he's some
kind of guitar maker.
460
00:21:33,193 --> 00:21:35,497
Hm. Is he happy?
461
00:21:36,502 --> 00:21:37,623
I don't know.
462
00:21:39,408 --> 00:21:40,722
How do I get him
back to reality?
463
00:21:40,746 --> 00:21:42,760
Well, amnesia's nothing
to fool around with.
464
00:21:42,784 --> 00:21:44,097
You need a specialist.
465
00:21:44,121 --> 00:21:47,371
But while you're here, you
could try to gently remind him
466
00:21:47,395 --> 00:21:48,675
of your life together.
467
00:21:48,699 --> 00:21:51,749
I'd do anything
to get Alex back.
468
00:21:51,773 --> 00:21:53,554
I'll remind him of our rings.
469
00:21:53,578 --> 00:21:55,715
I'll remind him of the
jingles we used to write.
470
00:21:56,752 --> 00:21:58,733
And if that doesn't work,
471
00:21:58,757 --> 00:22:00,470
I'll take him down to
the cabin and remind him
472
00:22:00,495 --> 00:22:02,142
of the thing we used to do most.
473
00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:03,768
( humorous theme playing )
474
00:22:05,173 --> 00:22:06,240
Backgammon.
475
00:22:07,512 --> 00:22:09,426
We played backgammon a lot.
476
00:22:09,450 --> 00:22:10,452
Hmm.
477
00:22:11,188 --> 00:22:12,735
Honest.
478
00:22:12,759 --> 00:22:14,272
I believe you.
479
00:22:14,296 --> 00:22:15,743
You do?
480
00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:18,210
Did I ever tell you about the
swampland I have for sale?
481
00:22:20,813 --> 00:22:22,748
( band playing light jazz )
482
00:22:39,559 --> 00:22:41,172
You're a beautiful man.
483
00:22:41,196 --> 00:22:43,177
You're a beautiful woman.
484
00:22:43,201 --> 00:22:45,115
You're more beautiful than I am.
485
00:22:45,139 --> 00:22:47,321
You're beautifully honest.
486
00:22:47,345 --> 00:22:48,758
Congratulations, Julie.
487
00:22:48,782 --> 00:22:52,835
Your electronic icebreaker
seems to be working for everybody.
488
00:22:52,859 --> 00:22:55,173
With one small exception.
489
00:22:55,197 --> 00:22:56,410
( sighing ): Yeah.
490
00:22:56,434 --> 00:22:58,182
Me.
491
00:22:58,206 --> 00:22:59,808
I was talking about me.
492
00:23:16,451 --> 00:23:18,532
I'm sure it was just a
misunderstanding, Walt.
493
00:23:18,556 --> 00:23:21,272
I bet Brigitte would
love to dance with you.
494
00:23:21,296 --> 00:23:22,844
What size bet did
you have in mind?
495
00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:24,670
Come on. Let's ask her.
496
00:23:26,376 --> 00:23:28,190
Yvonne, I hope
your friend says yes.
497
00:23:28,214 --> 00:23:29,392
I promised Walt a good time.
498
00:23:29,416 --> 00:23:30,897
I've got a lot of
money riding on this.
499
00:23:30,921 --> 00:23:32,267
( laughs )
500
00:23:32,291 --> 00:23:34,828
Oh, you don't understand
a word I'm saying.
501
00:23:37,738 --> 00:23:39,217
Gopher. GOPHER: Mm?
502
00:23:39,241 --> 00:23:42,192
My friend Walt wants
to dance with Brigitte.
503
00:23:42,216 --> 00:23:43,930
WALT: Yeah. Ah.
504
00:23:43,954 --> 00:23:45,968
GOPHER: Um, yeah.
505
00:23:45,992 --> 00:23:49,476
Um, Brigitte, uh... (
speaking in French )
506
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:50,622
Oui.
507
00:23:56,551 --> 00:23:58,465
Heh. Pourquois pas.
508
00:23:58,489 --> 00:24:00,504
Oh, yeah. Pourquois pas?
509
00:24:00,528 --> 00:24:02,275
Yeah. Oui.
510
00:24:02,299 --> 00:24:03,813
WALT: That's what
she said last time.
511
00:24:03,837 --> 00:24:07,020
Again with the feet like an
elephant and banana nose?
512
00:24:07,044 --> 00:24:08,791
Seymour!
513
00:24:08,815 --> 00:24:09,794
SEYMOUR: Wait a minute.
514
00:24:09,818 --> 00:24:11,619
( Yvonne speaking French )
515
00:24:21,948 --> 00:24:23,327
Shall we?
516
00:24:23,351 --> 00:24:24,519
You bet.
517
00:24:26,961 --> 00:24:27,939
Isaac.
518
00:24:27,963 --> 00:24:29,609
What would you like?
519
00:24:29,633 --> 00:24:30,947
I think I'll have a cognac,
520
00:24:30,971 --> 00:24:32,851
and I guess you'll want one too.
521
00:24:32,875 --> 00:24:34,155
Ah, two cognacs, right?
522
00:24:34,179 --> 00:24:36,493
TED: Uh, not for
me. I'd like a beer.
523
00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:38,598
I've never acquired
a taste for cognac.
524
00:24:38,622 --> 00:24:40,403
Oh, then I'll have a beer too.
525
00:24:40,427 --> 00:24:41,639
Two light, right?
526
00:24:41,663 --> 00:24:43,566
No, I always drink dark beer.
527
00:24:44,604 --> 00:24:46,251
Uh, make that two dark beers.
528
00:24:46,275 --> 00:24:47,521
Coming right up.
529
00:24:47,545 --> 00:24:50,628
TED: You know, I
just might try a cognac.
530
00:24:50,652 --> 00:24:53,002
I may get to like it.
531
00:24:53,026 --> 00:24:56,332
Ah, two cognacs. Right.
532
00:25:00,644 --> 00:25:02,625
That ring you're wearing,
it's the same as mine.
533
00:25:02,649 --> 00:25:04,530
LILLY: Really?
534
00:25:04,554 --> 00:25:06,123
Where'd you get it?
535
00:25:07,661 --> 00:25:09,141
I don't know.
536
00:25:09,165 --> 00:25:11,180
I've been wearing it as
long as I can remember.
537
00:25:11,204 --> 00:25:13,888
Mine was made for
me by a little jeweler
538
00:25:13,912 --> 00:25:15,457
on 48th Street in New York.
539
00:25:15,481 --> 00:25:17,050
I've never been to New York.
540
00:25:18,088 --> 00:25:19,489
A friend of mine designed it.
541
00:25:20,694 --> 00:25:22,898
Actually, he was
more than just a friend.
542
00:25:24,070 --> 00:25:26,218
Well, I guess he must've
designed two, then.
543
00:25:26,242 --> 00:25:27,676
Small world, isn't it?
544
00:25:29,048 --> 00:25:30,562
What do you do in New York?
545
00:25:30,586 --> 00:25:32,733
I write advertising
jingles. No kidding?
546
00:25:32,757 --> 00:25:34,472
You might have
heard some of them.
547
00:25:34,496 --> 00:25:37,870
Like the, uh, Cupid
Cologne commercial.
548
00:25:39,541 --> 00:25:41,589
♪ Make her your own ♪
549
00:25:41,613 --> 00:25:44,029
♪ With Cupid Cologne ♪
550
00:25:44,053 --> 00:25:45,967
♪ Reach out and grab it ♪
551
00:25:45,991 --> 00:25:48,228
♪ Let her know you have it ♪
552
00:25:49,065 --> 00:25:50,545
What's the matter?
553
00:25:50,569 --> 00:25:54,054
I'm sorry. I-I don't mean
to make fun of your jingle,
554
00:25:54,078 --> 00:25:56,001
but it is kind of
inane, isn't it?
555
00:25:56,717 --> 00:25:58,632
That jingle sold
a lot of cologne.
556
00:25:58,656 --> 00:26:00,002
"Reach out and grab it"?
557
00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:01,561
"Let her know you have it"?
558
00:26:02,365 --> 00:26:03,611
( laughs )
559
00:26:03,635 --> 00:26:06,117
I guess it is kind of inane.
560
00:26:06,141 --> 00:26:08,144
ISAAC: There you
go. Thanks, Isaac.
561
00:26:12,992 --> 00:26:15,529
Well, how do you like it?
562
00:26:18,005 --> 00:26:20,041
Tastes like your Cupid Cologne.
563
00:26:33,542 --> 00:26:36,794
Julie, you have been
ducking me all night.
564
00:26:36,818 --> 00:26:39,066
Mm-hm. I was hoping
you'd get the message.
565
00:26:39,090 --> 00:26:40,203
I got the message.
566
00:26:40,227 --> 00:26:42,341
I got the message
from my 272 mini-scan.
567
00:26:42,365 --> 00:26:43,610
You know what it says?
568
00:26:43,634 --> 00:26:46,551
It says that you and I
are fated for each other.
569
00:26:46,575 --> 00:26:49,658
Well, I guess I'm just not
ready to meet my fate yet.
570
00:26:49,682 --> 00:26:51,496
Oh, Julie, why fight it?
571
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,571
It's Valentine's. Hearts,
love and all that stuff.
572
00:26:54,595 --> 00:26:57,311
And besides, my
printout says that you and I
573
00:26:57,335 --> 00:26:59,884
have the same interests,
compatible temperaments
574
00:26:59,908 --> 00:27:03,593
and also long-range goals.
575
00:27:03,617 --> 00:27:06,701
Well, my printout
says, "Bug off."
576
00:27:06,725 --> 00:27:07,837
I don't get it.
577
00:27:07,861 --> 00:27:09,108
Julie, Julie,
578
00:27:09,132 --> 00:27:11,213
logic says that you
and I should be in love.
579
00:27:11,237 --> 00:27:13,752
What's logic got
to do with love?
580
00:27:13,776 --> 00:27:16,693
Love is spontaneous, mysterious,
581
00:27:16,717 --> 00:27:18,598
wild, crazy.
582
00:27:18,622 --> 00:27:21,038
You know, you light up my life,
583
00:27:21,062 --> 00:27:24,113
climb the highest mountain,
swim the deepest sea.
584
00:27:24,137 --> 00:27:25,815
Love is an emotion.
585
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:29,224
Wrong. Love is based on facts.
586
00:27:29,248 --> 00:27:31,029
Like the fact that...
587
00:27:31,053 --> 00:27:32,967
The fact that I
have a tremendous
588
00:27:32,992 --> 00:27:34,204
crush on your shoulders.
589
00:27:34,228 --> 00:27:35,974
Mm, mm.
590
00:27:35,999 --> 00:27:37,946
That's spontaneous. Oh, no, no.
591
00:27:37,970 --> 00:27:39,450
That happens to
be the logical result
592
00:27:39,474 --> 00:27:42,024
of my predictable
attraction to you.
593
00:27:42,048 --> 00:27:43,427
Oh, that's romantic.
594
00:27:43,451 --> 00:27:47,070
Julie. Julie, it's the
romance of the future.
595
00:27:47,094 --> 00:27:48,873
It's geometry, it's mathematics.
596
00:27:48,897 --> 00:27:53,540
It's bull! It's... (
mellow theme playing )
597
00:27:57,752 --> 00:27:59,033
Come on in.
598
00:27:59,057 --> 00:28:00,936
I've been working on
something I want you to hear.
599
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,708
Oh, I'd like that.
600
00:28:02,732 --> 00:28:04,212
Well, I hope so.
601
00:28:04,236 --> 00:28:06,918
I'm gonna call
it "Lilly's Song."
602
00:28:06,942 --> 00:28:08,545
I'm flattered.
603
00:28:09,884 --> 00:28:12,187
( playing softly )
604
00:28:27,661 --> 00:28:29,375
It's beautiful.
605
00:28:29,399 --> 00:28:31,313
But, Ted,
606
00:28:31,337 --> 00:28:33,874
that's the music to the
Cupid Cologne jingle.
607
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,648
You know, you're right.
608
00:28:37,719 --> 00:28:39,233
I thought I made it up.
609
00:28:39,257 --> 00:28:41,605
I'm sorry. Oh, don't stop.
610
00:28:41,629 --> 00:28:43,343
You play beautifully.
611
00:28:43,367 --> 00:28:45,047
Oh, some other time.
612
00:28:45,071 --> 00:28:46,784
I write a lot of tunes.
613
00:28:46,808 --> 00:28:48,289
It's lyrics I have trouble with.
614
00:28:48,313 --> 00:28:51,196
That's my specialty.
615
00:28:51,220 --> 00:28:52,900
Why don't we write
something together?
616
00:28:52,924 --> 00:28:54,538
Yeah, I'd like that.
617
00:28:54,562 --> 00:28:56,877
I think I better warn you though
I do most of my composing
618
00:28:56,901 --> 00:28:59,082
sitting on my porch
in Sonoma County.
619
00:28:59,107 --> 00:29:01,276
Watching the
Russian River go by.
620
00:29:03,049 --> 00:29:04,797
Is that an invitation?
621
00:29:04,821 --> 00:29:05,822
Sure is.
622
00:29:08,463 --> 00:29:10,778
Maybe I'll take you up on it.
623
00:29:10,802 --> 00:29:12,683
Of course, in a few
days I think I'd miss
624
00:29:12,707 --> 00:29:14,388
the excitement of New York.
625
00:29:14,412 --> 00:29:16,326
Lilly, there's
plenty of excitement
626
00:29:16,350 --> 00:29:18,673
outside of New York, you know.
627
00:29:20,293 --> 00:29:23,731
I mean, there's excitement
right here in this room.
628
00:29:38,171 --> 00:29:40,441
Did that remind you of anything?
629
00:29:41,947 --> 00:29:44,429
What should it remind me of?
630
00:29:44,453 --> 00:29:46,356
Ah, never mind.
631
00:29:53,843 --> 00:29:55,779
( upbeat theme playing )
632
00:29:59,992 --> 00:30:01,772
Brigitte? Oui?
633
00:30:01,796 --> 00:30:04,078
Uh, uh, people think, uh...
634
00:30:04,102 --> 00:30:06,584
( speaking in French )
635
00:30:06,608 --> 00:30:08,222
( Brigitte laughs )
636
00:30:08,246 --> 00:30:11,429
( speaking in French )
637
00:30:11,453 --> 00:30:13,200
SAM: Penny, that's...
That's the wrong move.
638
00:30:13,225 --> 00:30:15,673
See, I move here
and my queen mates,
639
00:30:15,697 --> 00:30:17,678
I move here and my knight mates,
640
00:30:17,702 --> 00:30:19,382
I move here and my rook mates.
641
00:30:19,406 --> 00:30:21,220
That's what I love about chess.
642
00:30:21,245 --> 00:30:23,627
All this mating.
643
00:30:23,651 --> 00:30:25,364
DARYL: Are you enjoying
this as much as I am?
644
00:30:25,388 --> 00:30:27,558
Oh, yes, it's wonderful.
645
00:30:38,220 --> 00:30:41,058
Hey, Nick, here
comes your intended.
646
00:30:42,364 --> 00:30:45,615
Yeah, with intent to kill.
647
00:30:45,639 --> 00:30:47,820
Nick, wait. What
have I done now?
648
00:30:47,844 --> 00:30:49,959
Well, you haven't
done anything. Heh.
649
00:30:49,983 --> 00:30:53,367
Except make a lot of
people extremely happy.
650
00:30:53,391 --> 00:30:55,873
Look at 'em.
They're having a ball.
651
00:30:55,897 --> 00:30:58,179
And it's all because
of your computer.
652
00:30:58,203 --> 00:31:00,418
Just like I told
you, it never fails.
653
00:31:00,442 --> 00:31:01,989
Except maybe for us.
654
00:31:02,013 --> 00:31:04,194
Nick.
655
00:31:04,218 --> 00:31:06,935
I'd like to apologize
for last night.
656
00:31:06,959 --> 00:31:08,293
I was pretty rough.
657
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:13,885
Well, maybe I came
on kind of strong.
658
00:31:13,909 --> 00:31:17,461
Yeah, well, I didn't have
to react so negatively.
659
00:31:17,485 --> 00:31:19,699
I shouldn't have pushed so hard.
660
00:31:19,723 --> 00:31:21,303
Yeah, well, I was a jerk.
661
00:31:21,328 --> 00:31:23,342
Nah. No, I was a jerk.
662
00:31:23,366 --> 00:31:24,746
No, I was a jerk.
663
00:31:24,770 --> 00:31:27,375
Okay, you were a jerk. Oh.
664
00:31:29,247 --> 00:31:32,197
Have dinner with me tonight?
665
00:31:32,221 --> 00:31:33,367
Sure.
666
00:31:33,391 --> 00:31:34,871
The chef's making veal parmesan.
667
00:31:34,895 --> 00:31:37,176
Veal p... I love
it, it's my favorite.
668
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,781
Oh, that's mine too.
669
00:31:38,805 --> 00:31:41,253
There's another thing we have
in common. Isn't that wonderful?
670
00:31:41,277 --> 00:31:43,058
Julie, Julie, the
list is endless.
671
00:31:43,082 --> 00:31:44,763
That's why the
machine put us together.
672
00:31:44,787 --> 00:31:47,034
Oh, well, I think it's terrific.
It sure made people happy.
673
00:31:47,058 --> 00:31:49,273
Oh, Mr. Heider, uh, I
was wondering if you're
674
00:31:49,297 --> 00:31:51,345
going to give your
computer another shot.
675
00:31:51,370 --> 00:31:54,821
Well, uh, I-I didn't
think I'd bother, captain.
676
00:31:54,845 --> 00:31:56,859
Things seem to be
fine for everybody.
677
00:31:56,883 --> 00:31:59,031
Not everybody.
678
00:31:59,055 --> 00:32:00,936
So if you have
679
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,407
another session, let me know.
680
00:32:02,431 --> 00:32:04,935
Uh, I've filled
out another card.
681
00:32:08,546 --> 00:32:11,149
I left some blanks
on the first one.
682
00:32:16,131 --> 00:32:18,268
Brigitte. Um...
683
00:32:20,576 --> 00:32:24,517
( both speaking in French )
684
00:32:26,123 --> 00:32:30,610
Oh, Brigitte, you're truly
the most beautiful, uh, uh...
685
00:32:30,634 --> 00:32:32,849
( speaks in French )
686
00:32:32,873 --> 00:32:34,788
( both speaking in French )
687
00:32:34,812 --> 00:32:36,224
Uh, the most wonderful...
688
00:32:36,248 --> 00:32:40,568
( speaking in French )
689
00:32:40,592 --> 00:32:41,838
( speaks in French )
690
00:32:41,862 --> 00:32:42,974
Ah.
691
00:32:42,998 --> 00:32:44,812
Oh, Brigitte. It's hopeless.
692
00:32:44,836 --> 00:32:46,049
I-I need my dictionary.
693
00:32:46,073 --> 00:32:49,123
( both speaking in French )
694
00:32:49,147 --> 00:32:50,393
I don't wanna bouge pas.
695
00:32:50,417 --> 00:32:51,518
But I gotta...
696
00:32:53,759 --> 00:32:56,542
Brigitte, stay here.
697
00:32:56,566 --> 00:33:00,306
Stay... ( speaking in French )
698
00:33:03,049 --> 00:33:04,361
Oui, Gopher.
699
00:33:04,385 --> 00:33:06,589
Gopher. Yvonne.
700
00:33:08,629 --> 00:33:10,510
( speaking in French )
701
00:33:10,534 --> 00:33:12,849
Knock off the French,
will you, Yvonne? It's me.
702
00:33:12,873 --> 00:33:15,455
Shh! Where were you?
703
00:33:15,479 --> 00:33:17,649
I was with Gopher.
What do you think?
704
00:33:18,687 --> 00:33:20,435
It's getting to be impossible.
705
00:33:20,459 --> 00:33:24,277
His French is so bad I
can't communicate with him.
706
00:33:24,301 --> 00:33:26,249
I'm going to tell
him I speak English.
707
00:33:26,273 --> 00:33:29,489
You do and you'll
blow my whole deal.
708
00:33:29,514 --> 00:33:31,161
I got a big fish on the line.
709
00:33:31,185 --> 00:33:33,668
Well, what about me?
710
00:33:33,692 --> 00:33:35,572
This could be
the love of my life.
711
00:33:35,596 --> 00:33:38,212
If it's the love of your life,
it'll last past this cruise.
712
00:33:38,236 --> 00:33:39,849
Please, for the sake
of our friendship,
713
00:33:39,873 --> 00:33:42,356
don't speak English
till we get off this boat.
714
00:33:42,380 --> 00:33:44,963
I'll tell everybody I
borrowed a Berlitz book
715
00:33:44,987 --> 00:33:46,266
from the ship's library.
716
00:33:46,290 --> 00:33:47,356
No.
717
00:33:48,328 --> 00:33:50,397
I'm a quick study. No.
718
00:33:51,469 --> 00:33:53,650
Well, then do me a favor. What?
719
00:33:53,674 --> 00:33:56,291
Next time you ask me to
go on a cruise with you, don't.
720
00:33:56,315 --> 00:33:57,983
( sighs )
721
00:33:59,557 --> 00:34:01,491
( mellow theme playing )
722
00:34:06,273 --> 00:34:09,758
You know, it's funny. I... I feel
like I've known you all my life.
723
00:34:09,782 --> 00:34:11,763
I mean, all these
strange coincidences.
724
00:34:11,787 --> 00:34:12,932
Like you thinking you knew me
725
00:34:12,956 --> 00:34:16,307
and us wearing the
same ring and all.
726
00:34:16,331 --> 00:34:19,170
I don't know, it's like we
were meant for each other.
727
00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:22,211
I love you, you know.
728
00:34:24,853 --> 00:34:27,096
I wondered who
was gonna say it first.
729
00:34:28,462 --> 00:34:30,777
Lilly, would you
think I was crazy
730
00:34:30,801 --> 00:34:33,116
if I asked you to come
to California with me?
731
00:34:33,140 --> 00:34:36,124
We could get married.
732
00:34:36,148 --> 00:34:38,462
I have a career in New York.
733
00:34:38,486 --> 00:34:40,234
We could be together there too.
734
00:34:40,258 --> 00:34:42,406
No, I'd never fit in.
735
00:34:42,430 --> 00:34:43,608
Yes, you would.
736
00:34:43,633 --> 00:34:45,480
I'd be like a fish out of water.
737
00:34:45,504 --> 00:34:46,884
You'd love New York.
738
00:34:46,908 --> 00:34:49,189
I know you would
if you gave it a try.
739
00:34:49,213 --> 00:34:51,996
I could get you a job at
the agency writing music.
740
00:34:52,020 --> 00:34:53,299
I'd be no good at it.
741
00:34:53,323 --> 00:34:55,171
What do you mean
you'd be no good at it?
742
00:34:55,195 --> 00:34:57,142
You were good at
it. You were the best!
743
00:34:57,166 --> 00:34:59,069
Damn it, don't you remember?
744
00:35:01,209 --> 00:35:03,191
Lady, you're out of your mind.
745
00:35:03,215 --> 00:35:05,262
You're the one
who's out of his mind.
746
00:35:05,286 --> 00:35:07,034
Alex, I'm sorry. I
didn't mean that.
747
00:35:07,058 --> 00:35:10,231
Once and for all, my
name's Ted. Ted Wilcox.
748
00:35:13,240 --> 00:35:14,708
( knocking on door )
749
00:35:18,955 --> 00:35:20,467
Hi there, Mr. Computer-mate.
750
00:35:20,491 --> 00:35:22,773
Hi, gorgeous. Wanna
come out and play?
751
00:35:22,797 --> 00:35:24,477
Wanna come in and play?
752
00:35:24,501 --> 00:35:26,851
I thought you'd never ask.
753
00:35:26,875 --> 00:35:29,724
I thought of nothing
but you all day.
754
00:35:29,748 --> 00:35:30,861
What... What are you doing?
755
00:35:30,885 --> 00:35:32,431
I gotta shave.
756
00:35:32,455 --> 00:35:33,934
You've done that
three times already.
757
00:35:33,958 --> 00:35:35,171
Think you should give it a rest?
758
00:35:35,195 --> 00:35:36,540
I like to look my best.
759
00:35:36,564 --> 00:35:38,379
You like to look in the mirror.
760
00:35:38,403 --> 00:35:39,614
How would you know?
761
00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:41,721
You have your head inside
a book most of the time.
762
00:35:41,745 --> 00:35:43,391
You're really a drag, you know.
763
00:35:43,415 --> 00:35:44,627
A drag?
764
00:35:44,651 --> 00:35:46,432
You don't know the
meaning of the word.
765
00:35:46,456 --> 00:35:47,869
In fact, there
are a lot of words
766
00:35:47,893 --> 00:35:50,242
you don't know the meaning
of. Are you calling me a dummy?
767
00:35:50,266 --> 00:35:52,180
Well, I'll tell you
what you are.
768
00:35:52,204 --> 00:35:54,921
You're a boring egghead
with as much sex appeal as a...
769
00:35:54,945 --> 00:35:57,392
As a bowling ball.
770
00:35:57,416 --> 00:36:00,400
Oh, no, my tan is
beginning to fade.
771
00:36:00,424 --> 00:36:01,838
I need some sun.
772
00:36:01,862 --> 00:36:03,441
You know what you really need?
773
00:36:03,465 --> 00:36:06,003
What? Another shave.
774
00:36:13,991 --> 00:36:16,574
( computer honks, whistles,
makes crashing noise )
775
00:36:16,598 --> 00:36:18,914
( upbeat theme playing )
776
00:36:18,938 --> 00:36:20,874
( band playing light jazz )
777
00:36:31,668 --> 00:36:33,682
Brigitte. Oui?
778
00:36:33,706 --> 00:36:36,524
( speaking in French )
779
00:36:36,548 --> 00:36:39,397
Uh... ( speaking in French )
780
00:36:39,421 --> 00:36:41,069
Uh...
781
00:36:41,093 --> 00:36:44,042
Oh, Brig... You know, I just wish
you could speak my language.
782
00:36:44,066 --> 00:36:49,022
Oh, Gopher... (
speaking in French )
783
00:36:49,046 --> 00:36:50,492
Huh?
784
00:36:50,516 --> 00:36:52,164
I said if only I could...
785
00:36:52,188 --> 00:36:54,402
Wait, wait, wait. Did you
just say something in English?
786
00:36:54,426 --> 00:36:56,240
Ah!
787
00:36:56,264 --> 00:36:57,265
Oh!
788
00:36:59,338 --> 00:37:02,388
Wait, wait. Uh... Oh! Brigette.
789
00:37:02,412 --> 00:37:03,457
No, no, no. Excuse moi.
790
00:37:03,481 --> 00:37:05,362
No, no. No, excuse moi.
791
00:37:05,386 --> 00:37:07,023
( both speaking in French )
792
00:37:10,399 --> 00:37:13,649
Ah, oui. ( speaking in French )
793
00:37:13,673 --> 00:37:15,642
( speaking in French )
794
00:37:19,054 --> 00:37:20,568
You have something
for the stain?
795
00:37:20,592 --> 00:37:22,139
( speaking in French )
796
00:37:22,163 --> 00:37:24,447
Oh, good. Thank you. Right!
797
00:37:26,206 --> 00:37:27,517
Thanks a lot.
798
00:37:27,541 --> 00:37:30,480
Make that merci beaucoup.
799
00:37:31,684 --> 00:37:34,129
( Yvonne shouting in French )
800
00:37:38,769 --> 00:37:39,915
Happy? Mm-hm.
801
00:37:39,939 --> 00:37:41,018
I think we can say
802
00:37:41,042 --> 00:37:42,855
that your machine
is a total success.
803
00:37:42,879 --> 00:37:46,387
Ah, my machine only helps
those who help themselves.
804
00:37:48,260 --> 00:37:50,141
Whew. Let's go.
805
00:37:50,165 --> 00:37:52,100
( applause )
806
00:37:53,039 --> 00:37:56,211
Oh, I'd say a complete success.
807
00:38:00,190 --> 00:38:02,728
You are a cultural desert.
808
00:38:04,233 --> 00:38:05,812
Vast.
809
00:38:05,836 --> 00:38:09,189
You... You haven't
even read James Joyce.
810
00:38:09,213 --> 00:38:12,196
I've read the dirty parts.
811
00:38:12,220 --> 00:38:15,837
Is that all you can
think about is sex?
812
00:38:15,861 --> 00:38:18,132
Well, someone
has to think of it.
813
00:38:22,479 --> 00:38:24,728
( computer honks, whistles,
makes crashing noise )
814
00:38:24,752 --> 00:38:26,687
( upbeat theme playing )
815
00:38:29,998 --> 00:38:31,277
Voilà.
816
00:38:31,301 --> 00:38:32,280
Merci.
817
00:38:32,304 --> 00:38:33,585
Thanks, sweetie.
818
00:38:34,676 --> 00:38:36,056
You speak English.
819
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:37,059
Uh-huh.
820
00:38:37,083 --> 00:38:38,061
Oh, by the way,
821
00:38:38,085 --> 00:38:39,430
I can't get rid of the stain.
822
00:38:39,454 --> 00:38:40,700
But I can get rid of you.
823
00:38:40,724 --> 00:38:42,239
Hey, Yvonne.
Wait... Wait, Yvonne!
824
00:38:42,263 --> 00:38:44,477
Yvonne, you can't leave now.
825
00:38:44,501 --> 00:38:45,579
( clears throat )
826
00:38:45,603 --> 00:38:47,150
Good evening.
Enjoying your cruise?
827
00:38:47,174 --> 00:38:48,456
Me too.
828
00:38:49,580 --> 00:38:51,716
( upbeat theme playing )
829
00:38:56,130 --> 00:38:58,478
Oh, Doc, I blew it.
830
00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:01,252
He asked me to marry
him and live in California.
831
00:39:01,276 --> 00:39:02,355
And?
832
00:39:02,379 --> 00:39:04,260
And I said we should
live in New York.
833
00:39:04,284 --> 00:39:07,334
That I could get him
his old job writing jingles.
834
00:39:07,358 --> 00:39:10,375
He doesn't belong up in
the woods making guitars.
835
00:39:10,399 --> 00:39:11,410
Why not?
836
00:39:11,434 --> 00:39:13,448
Because he has a brilliant mind.
837
00:39:13,472 --> 00:39:15,487
He could write his own
ticket on Madison Avenue.
838
00:39:15,511 --> 00:39:17,747
Maybe he doesn't
like Madison Avenue.
839
00:39:19,955 --> 00:39:22,125
Maybe Madison Avenue
is the reason he snapped.
840
00:39:25,403 --> 00:39:26,883
What do you mean?
841
00:39:26,907 --> 00:39:29,089
Look, amnesia can be
caused by emotional stress.
842
00:39:29,113 --> 00:39:33,454
If there's too much pressure
on a person, the mind reacts.
843
00:39:35,194 --> 00:39:38,110
I put more pressure
on Alex than anyone.
844
00:39:38,134 --> 00:39:39,713
I drove him.
845
00:39:39,737 --> 00:39:41,941
I wanted us to have
our own agency.
846
00:39:44,014 --> 00:39:48,001
The crazy thing is,
I love the new Alex.
847
00:39:48,025 --> 00:39:49,539
If you love him, then
why don't you go out
848
00:39:49,563 --> 00:39:50,542
to California with him?
849
00:39:50,566 --> 00:39:51,877
Oh, sure, just drop everything
850
00:39:51,901 --> 00:39:53,824
and run off and
live out a fantasy.
851
00:39:54,943 --> 00:39:57,725
( somber theme playing )
852
00:39:57,749 --> 00:39:59,017
Don't you have a fantasy?
853
00:40:00,524 --> 00:40:02,405
Yeah.
854
00:40:02,429 --> 00:40:05,167
I've always wanted
something more than jingles.
855
00:40:07,073 --> 00:40:09,555
I wanted to write songs
about life and love.
856
00:40:09,579 --> 00:40:11,827
My favorite kind.
857
00:40:11,851 --> 00:40:13,132
But I'm no Carole King.
858
00:40:13,156 --> 00:40:15,237
I'd probably fall
flat on my face.
859
00:40:15,261 --> 00:40:17,309
Lilly, if you're happy
with what you're doing,
860
00:40:17,333 --> 00:40:18,534
you're not failing.
861
00:40:20,407 --> 00:40:22,154
That sounds like
something Ted would say.
862
00:40:22,178 --> 00:40:23,324
Don't you mean Alex?
863
00:40:23,348 --> 00:40:25,917
No. I mean Ted.
864
00:40:31,634 --> 00:40:33,571
( upbeat theme playing )
865
00:40:34,810 --> 00:40:37,113
( band playing light jazz )
866
00:40:39,188 --> 00:40:40,533
Oh, say, Nick, uh,
867
00:40:40,557 --> 00:40:43,607
have you, uh, put my new
card through the machine?
868
00:40:43,631 --> 00:40:45,412
Yes, sir.
869
00:40:45,436 --> 00:40:46,882
And?
870
00:40:46,906 --> 00:40:51,360
And, uh... Uh, well,
what can I say?
871
00:40:51,384 --> 00:40:52,919
Good night.
872
00:40:56,397 --> 00:40:58,767
Why don't you just
say that you lost it?
873
00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:07,522
( sighs )
874
00:41:09,663 --> 00:41:11,346
Whoa! I'm sorry...
875
00:41:14,073 --> 00:41:15,454
Gopher... Sir... Sir, no,
876
00:41:15,478 --> 00:41:17,425
I can explain
everything. And you will.
877
00:41:17,449 --> 00:41:19,697
In my office. Right now.
878
00:41:19,721 --> 00:41:22,058
But, sir, I've gotta
get back to... Now!
879
00:41:23,464 --> 00:41:24,877
Uh, captain? Yes?
880
00:41:24,901 --> 00:41:28,106
I see the computer finally
came up with a date for you.
881
00:41:30,816 --> 00:41:32,797
Sir, can we take shorter steps?
882
00:41:32,821 --> 00:41:35,169
As many steps as you wanna take.
883
00:41:35,193 --> 00:41:36,962
This way.
884
00:41:40,907 --> 00:41:43,424
Wow. Ah. Wow. Heh.
885
00:41:43,448 --> 00:41:45,193
Would you like a drink?
886
00:41:45,217 --> 00:41:48,570
Uh, no, no. This late at
night, the only thing I can drink
887
00:41:48,594 --> 00:41:50,497
is hot cocoa.
888
00:41:55,811 --> 00:41:57,057
Hot cocoa.
889
00:41:57,081 --> 00:41:58,895
Mmm. I got some hot cocoa.
890
00:41:58,919 --> 00:42:00,555
Thank you.
891
00:42:01,459 --> 00:42:02,672
Mm. Well, all we need now
892
00:42:02,696 --> 00:42:04,276
is some Frank Sinatra.
893
00:42:04,301 --> 00:42:05,467
( giggles )
894
00:42:07,875 --> 00:42:09,958
( tape playing
"Strangers in the Night" )
895
00:42:12,018 --> 00:42:13,431
But where's Frank?
896
00:42:13,455 --> 00:42:17,107
Julie, I don't want any
other men in your life.
897
00:42:17,131 --> 00:42:20,684
Oh, whatever I ever said
about your theories, Nick,
898
00:42:20,708 --> 00:42:22,788
I apologize.
899
00:42:22,812 --> 00:42:26,262
I'll never complain about
your computer again.
900
00:42:26,287 --> 00:42:28,100
( knocking at door )
901
00:42:28,124 --> 00:42:30,172
Oh, no.
902
00:42:30,196 --> 00:42:31,710
Not now.
903
00:42:31,734 --> 00:42:33,069
( knocking persists )
904
00:42:36,279 --> 00:42:38,047
( groans )
905
00:42:42,126 --> 00:42:44,577
Your computer stinks!
906
00:42:44,601 --> 00:42:46,382
Listen, we want a rematch.
907
00:42:46,406 --> 00:42:48,251
All... All we ever do is fight.
908
00:42:48,275 --> 00:42:49,655
NICK: Look, every
couple can expect
909
00:42:49,679 --> 00:42:51,460
to have differences
now and then...
910
00:42:51,484 --> 00:42:52,929
How's this for a difference?
911
00:42:52,953 --> 00:42:55,335
I cannot stand the
sight of this man.
912
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:56,974
Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha.
913
00:42:56,998 --> 00:42:59,380
PENNY: Now you're laughing,
but when I wanted a few laughs,
914
00:42:59,404 --> 00:43:02,085
all you could talk about was
the origin of German lieder
915
00:43:02,109 --> 00:43:03,790
and its influence
on zither music.
916
00:43:03,814 --> 00:43:05,227
( rapping at door )
917
00:43:05,251 --> 00:43:06,798
( all shouting )
918
00:43:06,822 --> 00:43:08,201
You got me in this,
now you get me out.
919
00:43:08,225 --> 00:43:10,105
Oh, get him out? The peacock.
920
00:43:10,129 --> 00:43:11,477
The only time he
looks me in the eyes
921
00:43:11,501 --> 00:43:12,747
is to see his own reflection.
922
00:43:12,771 --> 00:43:14,484
Now, relax, everybody,
we can work this out.
923
00:43:14,508 --> 00:43:15,787
I want to trade this guy in.
924
00:43:15,811 --> 00:43:17,090
SAM: Listen, I should either
925
00:43:17,114 --> 00:43:18,962
punch you in the nose
or kick in your computer.
926
00:43:18,986 --> 00:43:20,666
A punch in the nose?
That sounds good to me.
927
00:43:20,690 --> 00:43:22,571
Now, hold it, fellas...
Yeah! I'm gonna hold him,
928
00:43:22,595 --> 00:43:23,707
you bite him in the leg.
929
00:43:23,731 --> 00:43:25,377
Go ahead. Now...
Now, wait a second.
930
00:43:25,401 --> 00:43:27,716
NICK: We can talk about
this. ( all shouting indistinctly )
931
00:43:27,740 --> 00:43:29,287
Well, here I am.
932
00:43:29,311 --> 00:43:30,592
It's late at night.
933
00:43:30,616 --> 00:43:32,852
I'm in a handsome man's cabin.
934
00:43:33,889 --> 00:43:36,929
Soft lights. Beautiful music.
935
00:43:38,669 --> 00:43:41,552
Something just
doesn't seem right.
936
00:43:41,576 --> 00:43:43,511
( mellow theme playing )
937
00:43:45,786 --> 00:43:47,388
( strumming ballad )
938
00:44:06,036 --> 00:44:07,038
Hi.
939
00:44:07,741 --> 00:44:09,242
Hi.
940
00:44:11,751 --> 00:44:14,065
Ted, I'm sorry
about this afternoon.
941
00:44:14,089 --> 00:44:15,368
Oh, that's okay.
942
00:44:15,392 --> 00:44:17,642
I was trying to turn you
into someone I once knew.
943
00:44:17,666 --> 00:44:19,411
It was a mistake.
944
00:44:19,435 --> 00:44:21,184
No, it was my mistake.
945
00:44:21,208 --> 00:44:22,677
I almost let you get away.
946
00:44:27,891 --> 00:44:28,870
Is that offer still open
947
00:44:28,894 --> 00:44:30,808
to sit and watch the
Russian River go by?
948
00:44:30,832 --> 00:44:33,648
You mean you're willing
to give up New York?
949
00:44:33,672 --> 00:44:35,587
It's just a city.
950
00:44:35,611 --> 00:44:37,045
And your career?
951
00:44:38,016 --> 00:44:39,963
Can I tell you a secret?
952
00:44:39,987 --> 00:44:42,604
There's always been
something lacking.
953
00:44:42,628 --> 00:44:45,711
All I've ever really wanted
to do was write songs.
954
00:44:45,735 --> 00:44:49,855
And I know deep down if
I give myself the chance,
955
00:44:49,879 --> 00:44:51,447
I can write good ones.
956
00:44:53,054 --> 00:44:55,770
Well, I can offer
you a rocking chair
957
00:44:55,794 --> 00:44:58,399
and a sunset every now
and then for inspiration.
958
00:45:10,062 --> 00:45:11,064
You scared?
959
00:45:12,268 --> 00:45:13,915
Mm-hm.
960
00:45:13,939 --> 00:45:16,789
But someone once told me
if you like what you're doing,
961
00:45:16,813 --> 00:45:18,382
you'll be great at it.
962
00:45:20,088 --> 00:45:21,902
And I sure like what I'm doing.
963
00:45:21,926 --> 00:45:23,728
( romantic theme playing )
964
00:45:34,223 --> 00:45:36,706
( foghorn blowing )
965
00:45:36,730 --> 00:45:38,666
( upbeat theme playing )
966
00:45:41,507 --> 00:45:42,553
Oh!
967
00:45:42,577 --> 00:45:44,357
C'est magnifique.
968
00:45:44,382 --> 00:45:45,661
( smooching )
969
00:45:45,685 --> 00:45:47,298
( speaks in French )
970
00:45:47,322 --> 00:45:48,692
( giggles )
971
00:45:50,397 --> 00:45:51,710
Brigitte, you're not being fair.
972
00:45:51,734 --> 00:45:53,113
It's a complete
misunderstanding.
973
00:45:53,137 --> 00:45:54,282
Look, will you let me explain?
974
00:45:54,306 --> 00:45:56,087
How can you explain
it? You didn't come back
975
00:45:56,111 --> 00:45:57,925
and you dumped me
and left me all alone
976
00:45:57,949 --> 00:45:59,195
in the Acapulco Lounge.
977
00:45:59,219 --> 00:46:00,800
You speak English?
She speaks English.
978
00:46:00,824 --> 00:46:02,704
Yeah. Just like Yvonne.
979
00:46:02,728 --> 00:46:06,067
( Yvonne speaking in French )
980
00:46:07,774 --> 00:46:11,091
Pardon my French,
honey, but take a hike.
981
00:46:11,115 --> 00:46:12,963
Walt, excuse moi.
982
00:46:12,987 --> 00:46:14,689
And pourquois pas.
983
00:46:16,094 --> 00:46:18,543
Well, there goes my millionaire.
984
00:46:18,567 --> 00:46:20,715
Well, c'est la vive.
985
00:46:20,739 --> 00:46:22,218
T'aint funny, Brigitte.
986
00:46:22,242 --> 00:46:24,123
Chéri, Seymour.
987
00:46:24,147 --> 00:46:29,003
( Yvonne speaking indistinctly )
988
00:46:29,027 --> 00:46:30,708
You spoke English
the whole time.
989
00:46:30,732 --> 00:46:32,578
I made a complete
fool of myself.
990
00:46:32,602 --> 00:46:34,784
It was Yvonne's idea.
991
00:46:34,808 --> 00:46:36,889
She thought it would be
a good way to get guys.
992
00:46:36,913 --> 00:46:39,117
Yeah, French guys.
993
00:46:40,388 --> 00:46:42,224
Gopher.
994
00:46:46,504 --> 00:46:48,350
Mm.
995
00:46:48,374 --> 00:46:49,376
Encore.
996
00:46:50,781 --> 00:46:53,152
Well, if you insist.
997
00:46:56,963 --> 00:46:59,679
Goodbye, Doc. And
thank you for everything.
998
00:46:59,703 --> 00:47:02,119
Sure. Run off
with a guitar player.
999
00:47:02,143 --> 00:47:03,655
If you'd heard me
play stethoscope,
1000
00:47:03,679 --> 00:47:05,602
it would have been
a different story.
1001
00:47:07,055 --> 00:47:08,066
Goodbye, Ted.
1002
00:47:08,090 --> 00:47:09,258
Bye, Doc.
1003
00:47:15,008 --> 00:47:16,756
I love you, you know.
1004
00:47:16,780 --> 00:47:19,161
More than I did before.
1005
00:47:19,185 --> 00:47:20,598
Before?
1006
00:47:20,622 --> 00:47:22,636
Well, I don't remember much
about my life in New York,
1007
00:47:22,660 --> 00:47:25,209
but last night with you,
1008
00:47:25,233 --> 00:47:27,715
I remembered the
most important part:
1009
00:47:27,739 --> 00:47:30,311
I loved you then
and I love you now.
1010
00:47:34,959 --> 00:47:37,340
STUBING: There you go. Got it?
1011
00:47:37,364 --> 00:47:38,342
( sighs )
1012
00:47:38,366 --> 00:47:39,345
Captain, I gotta tell you,
1013
00:47:39,369 --> 00:47:40,347
I'm really embarrassed
1014
00:47:40,371 --> 00:47:41,952
about the way things worked out.
1015
00:47:41,976 --> 00:47:43,621
I don't know. I... I
guess the machine
1016
00:47:43,645 --> 00:47:45,093
was just malfunctioning.
1017
00:47:45,117 --> 00:47:48,835
It had to be broken, or it would
have found someone for me.
1018
00:47:48,859 --> 00:47:51,910
Wouldn't it? Well...
Don't answer that.
1019
00:47:51,934 --> 00:47:53,882
So you like, uh, James
Joyce and, uh, lieder music.
1020
00:47:53,906 --> 00:47:55,987
Listen, I'm sorry about... Sam,
1021
00:47:56,011 --> 00:47:58,259
do I look like a
cultural desert?
1022
00:47:58,283 --> 00:47:59,428
No, not at all.
1023
00:47:59,452 --> 00:48:00,532
Not at all.
1024
00:48:00,556 --> 00:48:03,205
They're not supposed
to be together.
1025
00:48:03,229 --> 00:48:04,574
How about a shot
of me over there...
1026
00:48:04,598 --> 00:48:06,345
I'd like to apologize...
Oh, no, lamb chop.
1027
00:48:06,369 --> 00:48:07,983
Let's wait till we
get to my apartment.
1028
00:48:08,007 --> 00:48:10,823
You need a shave.
1029
00:48:10,848 --> 00:48:13,291
Oh, that's screwball. How
did he end up with her?
1030
00:48:14,457 --> 00:48:16,638
Oh, Penny, we're so sorry
about this computer business.
1031
00:48:16,662 --> 00:48:17,640
Sorry?
1032
00:48:17,664 --> 00:48:20,882
Honey, I had a great time.
1033
00:48:20,906 --> 00:48:23,322
Look what I ended up with:
1034
00:48:23,346 --> 00:48:27,398
a man of few words
but plenty of action.
1035
00:48:27,422 --> 00:48:29,665
( laughs ) Bye-bye.
1036
00:48:30,029 --> 00:48:32,076
Boy, did I mess up everything.
1037
00:48:32,100 --> 00:48:34,248
According to the computer, I
mean, none of those couples
1038
00:48:34,272 --> 00:48:36,453
should be couples.
Oh, I don't know.
1039
00:48:36,478 --> 00:48:39,683
I think the computer was
great for you and Miss McCoy.
1040
00:48:40,387 --> 00:48:41,367
( clears throat )
1041
00:48:41,391 --> 00:48:43,204
Um, confession time, captain.
1042
00:48:43,228 --> 00:48:45,276
Uh, the computer had
nothing to do with it.
1043
00:48:45,300 --> 00:48:46,279
I rigged it.
1044
00:48:46,303 --> 00:48:47,548
What? No, that's right.
1045
00:48:47,572 --> 00:48:48,718
I... I rigged it.
1046
00:48:48,742 --> 00:48:49,854
Julie, I gotta tell you,
1047
00:48:49,878 --> 00:48:52,260
the first time I
saw you, I knew.
1048
00:48:52,284 --> 00:48:54,220
I knew you were the one for me.
1049
00:48:55,859 --> 00:48:58,208
Then science had
nothing to do with it.
1050
00:48:58,232 --> 00:48:59,645
Of course it did.
1051
00:48:59,669 --> 00:49:02,541
After all, biology is a science.
1052
00:49:14,706 --> 00:49:16,709
( Jack Jones' "The
Love Boat" playing )
72408
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