All language subtitles for Orchestra Rehearsal - engl

ORCHESTRA REHEARSAL

Come on, try for yourself.

The acoustics are excellent.

Did you know
that it used to be an oratory?

Those are the tombs of three Popes
and seven bishops.

This place is full of dead people.

In 1781 the oratory
became an auditorium

for vocal and instrumental concerts.

It was the envy
of all the courts in Europe.

And do you know why?
Because of its acoustics.

Did you hear that? The sound is clear
and there is no echo.

It's ideal for listening to music,

without the reverberation of sound.

On that rostrum stood
the greatest orchestra directors.

It was a big achievement for them.

What musicians, what an audience!

Ministers, ambassadors and clergymen
used to come here.

They would bring their own music sheets
so that they could follow the concert.

There were so many beautiful women
wearing elegant, low-cut dresses.

Are you playing tricks on me?

The air was filled
with such a nice perfume.

Nowadays the audience
is very different.

I am probably boring you
with all this talking.

I have set everything up.

It looks nice, doesn't it?

I am only the copyist,
I count for nothing.

One more year
and then I can retire.

I will only come back
to attend concerts.

That I will do.
I couldn't live without music.

Good morning, everyone.

I hear a television crew
is here today

to make a documentary
on our orchestra.

Here we are,
in this wonderful auditorium,

which was built in the 13th century
and used to be a church.

You can see here some very old tombs
and to my right...

I have already told them this.

- I am the first violin and...
- Good morning.

- Good morning.
- Good morning, Mirella.

Can someone take this cover off?

- It's really heavy.
- Let me help you.

- Thank you. How are you?
- Not bad.

Listen, there is a television crew
but try to act normal.

I would like to know
what they do with these chairs.

Look at them,
they are so dirty and filthy.

Here we go again.

I have a sauna at 4:00.
I won't miss it for anything.

There are about 30 different poses.
Snake, lion, diamond...

But it's all about mind work.
Where's the panettone?

Take your time, there's no rush.

- You're doing fine.
- He looks worse than the last time.

- It's nice to have you back.
- You seem to be doing well. Slowly.

I want to make a bet with him.
In four months' time...

I want to tell you
about my uncle Quintilio,

who for 60 years
lived life to the full.

He was the biggest
eater, drinker and lover.

Then one morning he fell ill.
We thought he wouldn't make it.

Do you know how old he is now? 93.

He eats and drinks like he used to
and reads without glasses.

He's immortal.

The name of one of Werther's sons...
It starts with 'G'.

You wouldn't believe
how rude people can be.

- Are you talking about yourself?
- The traffic light was green,

and the person in front of me wouldn't
let me through, so I kindly asked him,

"Can you let me through?
I am going to a rehearsal."

He looked at me as if I was
a piece of shit and said,

"Why do you need to rehearse? I can
tell straight away that you are a twerp."

Are you listening to football? I'm not
going to today, I get too anxious.

- What does your barometer say?
- Let's see what my loyal friend says.

- Shall we dare taking your violin out?
- It's 15 percent higher.

- Are you not going to play?
- It may not be good for my violin.

How is the leech today?

It's a tough battle. There's no escape
from leeches, they lie in wait.

Bastards.

You keep laughing at me
and making jokes about leeches.

Don't get upset, it's not good for you.

Neurosis really is a leech.
We will all fall victims.

They may have paid 800 million lira for
him, but isn't he worth twice as much?

- What's that?
- It's a tranquilizer.

- That should make you feel better.
- I’ve tried them all, they don't work.

If anything, they make things worse.

- What's wrong with this trumpet?
- Watch this.

You idiots!

Do you really think 8 1/2
is a psychoanalytic film?

Go back to school!

What is this guy doing? How am I
supposed to play? Hey, Mr. Barometer.

Get up and put your chair back
to where it was. I need room to play.

I am sorry but I am too close to the
music stand like this. I can't read.

- It has to stay here.
- Are you kidding me?

It has to stay here
I even asked if you minded.

I’ve forgotten my glasses.

- I’m not here to do favors, but to play.
- It has to stay here.

- I want it there!
- And I want it here!

That's your place
and this is my place.

Mind how you talk!
You're offending me.

- There!
- What's wrong with him?

- Stop it! I said stop it!
- No, you stop it!

Gentlemen, please.
May I have your attention?

We have a very special guest.
Television.

The crew and the directors
are here to film

the rehearsal of our orchestra.

They also want to interview
some of you.

They'd better not,
or I will tell them everything.

- What would you tell them?
- For instance, that you take money.

As agreed with your trade union
representative, in return for this

you will receive nothing.

We haven't agreed to this.

Mr. Trincia, this is extra work.
It's extra work!

- Who said it's extra work?
- No way!

We don't agree.

In theory we could do it, but according
to trade-union rules it's unacceptable.

This is the ongoing problem
with television.

Your trade union representative is here.

- Calm down. Gentlemen, calm down.
- What do you mean?

We are already underpaid.

And now television
doesn't want to pay us at all?

I think people
who are interested in music

will enjoy seeing
how you work behind the scenes.

Since this is going to be made
into a program,

television should give us
something in return.

Nobody has to do it.

If you want to do it, you can, and if
you don't want to do it, that's fine.

This is not fair.

Let me just tell you something.

- What better opportunity...
- What kind of trade unionist are you?

You are just
a bunch of stupid empty heads.

I had a terrible dream.
There was a horse in my bedroom.

It sounds terrible, however it depends
on the color of the horse.

- Nice dress.
- Idiots!

Do you want to interview me as well?

Well, I have it all written down.

Some of the things are his suggestions.

- Are they going to pay us?
- A piano is like a king on his throne.

It doesn't move. Cecco told me this.

You have to go up there, take a bow
and push the seat closer.

It's like a huge mythological animal.
He also said this.

It makes you feel uneasy.

A room with a piano in it
becomes the piano room.

- It is best suited to a royal court.
- I once played at court.

- What did you say?
- I was saying that I once played at court.

- Where?
- Before king Vittorio Emanuele lll.

And he didn't have you arrested?

I don't want a piano.

I mean, I have my own piano
but I don't want it.

- Really?
- Because all pianos are the same.

- Interesting.
- Playing just on your piano is limiting.

- It's like having brakes on.
- Brakes?

I believe that...

to be fulfilled one needs to know

different people and
have more opportunities to meet up.

Stop making me laugh.

OK, I am from Marina Di Pisa

but I studied flute in California.

There it's played more gently
than here.

The flute is a delicate instrument.

It's the instrument that is closest
to the human voice.

Although the same is said
about the cello and the saxophone.

And perhaps even about the drums!

The funny thing is that a good chorus
is never compared to an instrument.

Only the flute sounds
like a human voice.

What a mysterious sound.
Supernatural!

It can tame wild animals,
what more do you want?

Didn't Apollo used to wake up
the dead with the flute?

It can do so many things, it's magical.

The sun and the moon, day and night.

Hasn't the doctor told her
that flautists are all mad?

Yes, it's true. That's what people say.

Perhaps with all this blowing

eventually air gets into
their heads, poor flautists!

Everyone always expects them to do
something strange. I don't know why.

The trombone is a unique instrument.

It has a deep, almost reprimanding
voice. But it can also be funny.

Just think of circus clowns
spraying water and blowing raspberries.

- It's also the angels' instrument.
- That's true.

Have you noticed that angels play
the trombone in Renaissance paintings?

Wouldn't it be nice to be greeted
by God at the sound of trombones?

The sound of a trombone is like
the voice of a solitary creature.

I like listening to it
when I am by the seaside,

during the winter,
and there is nobody around.

- Yours was a TV show-style ending.
- I have nothing to say.

I was looking at
that spider line up there.

Can you see it?
It must be five or six meters long.

While the brass was playing,
it was swinging back and forth.

- Look, Lo Cucco. Can you see it?
- What do you want?

- Can you see the spider?
- What?

It's hanging there. Come over this side,
you may be able to see it better.

Can you see it? Isn't it sweet that
we're here to make a spider swing?

Look, Esposito. Look for yourself.

That little spider earlier,
while the brass was playing...

- Can we interrupt you for a moment?
- Of course.

- I have a frivolous question to ask you.
- Go ahead.

Is it true that instruments
don't always get on with each other?

Yes, it's true.
Some get along and some don't.

Percussion gets along
with double bass

because they both
beat time accurately

instead of performing arpeggios
and elaborate moves.

Pianos are very talkative,
while violins go on and on about it.

In Italy, you don't hear rhythmic music
a lot. We're more into singing.

Only Neapolitans can feel the beat.
They're among the best percussionists.

Where is tarantella from? Naples.

I’d also like to say that in an orchestra,
percussionists are the nicest,

funniest and most friendly
of musicians.

What Claudio is saying is true
because the air of superiority

and the condescending voice that
a violinist or a flautist can have

is something you will never see
in this orchestra.

If you let a good-for-nothing join the
orchestra, what is he going to play?

The cymbals and the drums, because
they are playful and joyful instruments.

When the director is upset,
we cheer him up by playing a bit.

When people are feeling low,
this lifts their spirit.

I don't want to be interviewed.
I don't like to have my pictures taken,

as people could mistake me
for someone else. No way.

My colleague perhaps.

- Excuse me?
- Yes.

- Would you answer some questions?
- You don't deserve it.

It's unfair that you are not paying us
but since you're here, let's hear them.

I don't know what to ask you.
Tell me about the cello.

The cello is one of the key instruments
in an orchestra. We could say this.

Violins and cellos

are the basis for writing
any symphony.

Everything revolves around them.

- Am I wrong?
- Yes!

Let me tell you what violins are.

The first violin is the mind and the heart
of an orchestra, don't forget this.

And the clarinet is the willy!

I think a cello

is very much like a best friend.

It's a true friend.

Discreet and loyal, unlike a violin.

A violin may seduce you
and fascinate you,

but it's deceitful, like a woman.

He's talking rubbish.

My colleague over there doesn't agree.

- No, nothing.
- Don't you agree?

- No.
- Why?

Because we think the violin is the most
manly instrument of the orchestra.

No, the violin is female because
it's always trying to seduce us.

If you want me to play along,
I will say that the violin is male

because it's vibrant and phallic.

- I agree with my dear colleague.
- Thank you.

The violin is not female.

It's not a languid and weak instrument.
The violin is vibrant and modern.

At music school, it's the youngest
students who want to enroll...

- The cello makes a melancholy sound.
- The first violin is the real star.

I was just saying that the first violin
is the real star of the orchestra.

When there happens to be a director
who slows down the pace,

doesn't hit the opening bar
and lacks authority,

we are the first to notice it,
as soon as he steps on the rostrum

and raises his baton.

In that case, it's the first violin
who takes the lead.

He conducts the orchestra
and replaces the director.

Nonetheless...

Who does the orchestra director shake
hands with at the end of the concert?

With the first violin.

Do you know what I said once
to a director?

You like the brass too much. You are
a bandmaster, that's what you are!

What has this got to do with
what we were saying? I’m sorry.

Going back to the cello,
I just want to say this.

It's an instrument
that will never betray you.

Once it's chosen you,
it will always stay by your side.

- Idiot!
- The double bassoon.

- Only good for the circus!
- I just want to say

that I owe everything to the violin.
It's helped me find my identity.

- True.
- What do you mean?

It has helped me smooth
my rough edges.

- Do you want to interview me?
- Why not?

- Shall I go over there?
- Here is fine.

My seat is over there.

Comb your hair, there will be women
watching you on TV.

Of course.

The clarinet has allowed me to escape

the fog of my home town,
Gazolto, in the north of Italy.

From the end of August until April
of the following year you can't see it.

The bell tower disappears
and so does the school...

- What has this...
- I’m getting there.

As a clarinet player,
I traveled around the world

and even met the great Toscanini,

who said to me,
"Well done, young man.

"At last I hear a nice clarinet sound."

These are his exact words.

"Well done, young man.
At last I hear a nice clarinet sound."

- What did you say?
- What can you say?

When Toscanini tells you,

"Well done, young man.
At last I hear a nice clarinet sound."

I wasn't paying attention,
what did he say?

He said, "Well done, young man.
At last I hear a nice clarinet sound."

- Who was playing the clarinet?
- It was me.

As I said, it's a fascinating
and wonderful instrument.

Not to mention its musical potential,
which is extraordinary.

The trumpet allows you to make
the most amazing musical acrobatics.

But what's really unique is that

it enables you to express
what you have inside.

Happiness, sadness, silence.

What? Who?

Claudio, come and talk to this guy.

Shut up,
I’m being interviewed.

Perhaps all three of us were wrong.

The trumpet is like a passport
that enables me to travel

to a new world.

Those who play the trumpet
know what I mean.

It's a world of fulfillment,
where everything is more intense.

There are plenty of us
and we play the trumpet all together.

Mazzieri, tell them that trumpet players
have to study more than anybody.

- Speak up. What did you say?
- Our lips are cracked.

My colleague is right. We have
to spend hours moistening our lips

to soften them before we can play.

The degree of approximation
allowed for other instruments

is not given to the trumpet.

Do you mean the strings don't have
to be as accurate? Shut up!

If you play the wrong note
with a trumpet, you're finished.

It's got me ill. I can't sleep anymore
and I have high blood pressure.

I’ve become a sleepwalker.

Once I was playing the trumpet
in my pajamas outside my front door.

I’m paranoid that
I’m going to make a mistake.

- We did have some work.
- Let me speak to him.

Hey, article nine!

Use your gramophone for the concert!

That will teach you to negotiate
with your staff.

I am your staff!

I am their trade union representative
and I am happy to be interviewed.

We have managed to free musicians
from their servile status.

We have given musicians
their dignity back.

They are no longer pieceworkers
or puppets in the hands of a director

or an intermediary, but workers who
are fulfilled and aware of their role.

How did we succeed
at such a difficult task?

We safeguarded
their professional status

by making a number of demands,

such as fair salaries...

- You abolished mafia middlemen.
- You can tell them about this later.

Through a restructuring
of orchestra staff, as I was saying...

Hey!

- You don't get it, do you?
- What shall I do with him?

- There's a mouse!
- It's over there!

Behind the painting! Over there!

- There it is!
- It's huge!

Shall I kill it?

- There it is, it's over there!
- Look at it!

- Don't kill it.
- Take the broom.

- Give it to me!
- Careful!

They're going to open the sewer
if they keep wrecking this place.

I’ve got fire! Let me through.

Let's burn it. Throw it in there.

Watch out, it's coming towards you!
Catch it!

Bloody hell, it's fighting back!
It's biting!

At last!

- I don't want to see it!
- Let's cook it, it'll make a nice meal.

Stop it. Throw it away!

You are disgusting! Throw it away.

Go back to your seats!

We should have put a mouse
in his trumpet.

- Back to your seats, the director is here.
- He would've had a hard time playing it!

Do you know that my wife's uncle
ate a mouse during the war.

Regards!

This is terrible. I am sorry
but I haven't got time for this now.

Can you turn that light off?

I know you have permission to film
but I don't agree with it.

- Oboe...
- My feet are cold.

I’ve left my slippers at home.

Why are you so interested
in a rehearsal?

This is like a factory or at least
that's how it should be,

where we try to make something.

What are we trying to make now?

We are trying to make something but
I don't know what it is or what it's for.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I have to carry on.

We'll talk later.

Turn off that light, please.

Strings. Only the strings, please.

Please!

What's wrong?
Have you been arguing?

Is that why everyone is going
their own way?

Aren't you all part of the same team?

- No, we're not!
- Why do you bother replying?

Ready.

Stop. Stop!

Play gracefully,
this is not a fun fair!

Passionately but gently.
You are playing violins not trumpets!

Scheisse. Flute, it's an E flat
not an E natural.

- Here it says E natural.
- It's an E flat. Look Carefully.

- It's really an E natural.
- Then change it!

Isn't it strange that you always get
all the copyist mistakes?

Clarinet...

No.

It should be delicate and gentle.

What are you laughing at?
It's not funny!

I find this passage very funny.

I don't think the composer wanted it
to sound humorous.

- There's no reason to laugh.
- Listen.

Even my colleague is laughing.

- It's really funny.
- You are so funny. Look at your face.

I am going to send you four clarinets.

I know you need one
but you have to take four.

I’ll tell you later.

- Who scored?
- Couldn't I stay in California?

Where are we? On a football pitch?

Have you mistaken me for a referee?

Too loud! Too penetrating!
You should all be castrated!

He's right. The brass was loud.

You are unbelievable!

Pick up those sheets.

I am going to send you a guy
called Ciccio Calamina.

He is not a musician but you have
to take him on because of the minister.

What did he think he was doing?

He wanted us to take a break.
Good on him.

Do you remember that crazy guy at
San Carlo who threw his watch at me?

Tomorrow morning, all right?
If it's 400 then I’ll give you 20.

OK, so on Sunday at Torvaianica.
Take your son with you. Bye.

- Come on, let's do Gallop number 15.
- Here it is.

Stop! Are the strings intimidating you
or do you have low blood pressure?

Let's start from the beginning.

Stop! Oboe, you are too loud!

You are not the only one here.

From the beginning.

Stop! You are tickling that string.

You have to cut it
with your bow. Saw it!

Can I ask you all a question?

Do you understand why you're here?
I’m talking to musicians, right?

I want to hear a compact sound.
Let's start from the beginning.

Carry on like this!

Come on!

I can't see where you are!

Bass, louder!

Don't lag behind! Come on!
Get moving!

Come on!

Exactly! Louder! Yes!

Four, five, six, attention!

Can Toscanini's favorite

be so kind as to repeat
on his own

four measures after number 82?

No, I won't.
I have already played twice.

To play a third time is to go against
our union agreement.

My colleague is right.

A passage should be played
by everyone or not played at all.

It's like being back at school.
We are all adults here.

If I were you, I'd think less about
the union and more about the music.

I insist.

If Wagner had known
about trade unions and strikes

he would have never written
this opera.

Now it's the trade unions' fault
if he can't write anything good.

I miss not having peace and quiet.

My life is shit.

You should spread it on your baton
and then lick it off.

Let's start from measure 330.
Flugelhorn, please.

- What was it?
- Flugelhorn.

Where is the Flugelhorn?

- He's not here.
- What do you mean?

I don't know. He's not here.

60 and 40...

- He couldn't make it. Why?
- What do you mean?

- Why are you only telling me this now?
- Let me explain.

It's not that he couldn't come.
He didn't want to come.

As a gesture of protest and in agreement
with the union Bentivoglio belongs to.

Who is going to play the Flugelhorn?
The sister?

Leave my sister alone
and let's not bring family into this.

- I didn't say...
- I have good hearing.

I didn't say, "Your sister". I said,
"The sister", meaning the guy's sister.

Maybe I don't have enough of a sense
of humor but I don't find this funny.

You carry on doing your job

and leave our families to us.

- Let's carry on. 530, please.
- I don't think so.

No, not now.
The musicians are quite tired.

I am sorry but I don't think
they can carry on rehearsing.

Bloody hell.
What do you want from me?

Do you want to drive me crazy?

What do you want?
Do you want my ass?

Here it is!

You can all have a 20-minute break!

I think the director is quite good.
A bit hysterical but within the limits.

- There are some who...
- We no longer need directors like him.

All we need is a metronome.

At concerts,
the audience should sit with us

that way the music would sound
very different.

There is a difference between watching
a battle at the cinema and fighting it.

Noble, ascetic,
restless, authoritative

and charismatic,
this is how a director should be.

Some are mystic,
priest like, acrobatic.

While some act like lion tamers.

He used to play the harp, the violin,
the percussions, the bass drum

and even the bassoon.
He was so funny!

When you are in front of the camera,
you start chatting away.

I want my teacher to watch me
from up there.

If he doesn't look at me,
I get jealous.

Are you filming?

We are the lilies of the garden
We are Romans

Friendship is a different thing.

First of all,
we never meet up outside work.

In the morning, you have rehearsals,
you clock in.

- When you leave, you clock out.
- Like in a factory.

Me? I thought I was going to travel
the world playing this instrument.

- Instead, I’m always here.
- Let's hear it.

I can't stand this noisy,
fat thing anymore.

It makes me feel worthless.

An orchestra could easily do without it.
What's the point in having it?

And it's dangerous! A real calamity.

You try so hard
to make some nice music

but all you get is a loud fart.

I think it symbolizes

dulIness and close-mindedness.

That's true.

In an orchestra, it's the kind
of instrument that cannot

integrate with the others.

Most musicians come
from the provinces.

What provinces?
I come from a big city, Afragola.

The truth is that most musicians
have a very modest

academic background.

We don't have any real interests.
We're into nothing.

We spend our lives
glued to our instruments

whether they are wind or string ones.

I wonder why he's chosen music.

I just want to say this.
All these talks

about trade unions,
orchestral leaders, politics,

brass, strings,
this or that director...

None of this matters to me.

Why? Because
I can't get it up anymore.

Now, that's the real problem,
not the trade unions!

You keep drinking. It will do
a lot of good to your brain and liver!

It's not whiskey. It's only
a bit of white wine to cheer myself up.

A little wine does no harm,
if it's of good quality.

It's whiskey.
I saw her filling up the bottle.

Plus I can smell it from here.
Do as you like.

Everyone has their little vices.

It's better to drink a little
than to sleep with young girls.

One of these days
you'll end up in the papers.

Whiskey is not so bad!

I didn't choose the bass tuba.

It's the bass tuba that chose me.

I wanted to play the trumpet, which
has always given me goose bumps.

Do you remember when we were doing
military service on ships?

I used to get emotional too, but as
soon as it was over I would take off.

I am very sensitive.

Art makes me cry.

And I’ll tell you something else.

- Sometimes I want to die.
- Why do you want to die?

Because the world
has become a nasty place.

I want to be reunited with my dad.

- What the hell are you talking about?
- It's true.

Then let's talk about my instrument.

The fact that nobody wanted it
touched me.

Poor bass tube. It was there
on its own, like a stray dog.

I thought it looked a bit like me.

Sad and lonely, like me.

Clumsy and fat, just like me.

I thought the two of us should be
together. And that's what happened.

It was a good idea,
we are meant for each other.

Now I can't stay away from it.
We are friends.

When I feel down,
the two of us sit by the window,

look at the moon
and play a solo by Verdi.

Do you want to hear it?
I don't mind.

Yes, maybe just a little bit.

With music, everyone hears
what they want to.

Sound is subjective. For example,
an F sharp or a B flat

played by any instrument
can sound very moving to some,

while others may hate them.

It may well happen.

What an amazing instrument
the oboe is.

It's the oldest one, you know?

It was invented by the Chinese.

And it's the most difficult

and most delicate
and the most solitary one.

The oboes are isolated, envied
and disliked.

Because the orchestra has to answer
to the oboe.

It's the oboe that lays down the law.

It's the oboe

that sets the pitch range.

It's because of this privilege
that the violin hates the oboe.

And, as you would expect
the oboe hates the violin.

- Well.
- This instrument...

that enables spiritual elevation.

Those who play it
develop special powers.

It's like an inner eye

that enables you to see
the colors of sound.

When I play, I see

a bright, golden aura,

the same color as the sun.

It's like a huge reverberation.

It's true, you know? Once I saw

something that looked like a banner.

Look, his hands are shaking.

- It's an extraordinary experience.
- Andy, play...

- Would you like to hear it?
- Of course.

If you don't mind...

Excuse me, Sir.

Just a moment.
He's having a shower.

With the previous director

musicians wouldn't take things
so lightly.

First of all,
they would all wear a tie.

Nobody was allowed to show up
without a tie.

Now they would even take footbaths
while playing.

They also had a rule.

Those who went out of tune
or didn't come in at the right time

had to play standing up

until the end of the rehearsal,
as punishment.

What shifts? What working hours?

They had to rehearse all night long.

Do you know how many dawns
I have seen?

At dawn, the musicians,
though exhausted

would applaud the director
and thank him.

He was a genius.

He would conduct with his eyes closed,
as if he was in a trance.

Instead, he was very alert.

I don't know how he did that.

When he wanted to tell a musician off
for making a mistake,

he would find words
that would kill you,

that would make you feel bad
for a month.

He used to give terrible blows
with his baton

on the hands of the musicians
who had made mistakes.

You could hear so much hissing!

Well, do you want to know something?

They were happy

to be punished.

They would come forward
like schoolchildren.

They would open their hands
and say,

"I have made a mistake."

"So have I!
I too have made a mistake!"

Those were different times.

- Can you see what he is doing?
- What is he doing?

RUBBISH DIRECTOR...

- Guess!
- Do you think this is acceptable?

It probably is!

- I don't know anymore.
- Zuanelli!

Here we go.

The people from TV are here...

Do you want to know
if music is part of the world?

I would like to ask you
if music exists.

No? Then the world doesn't exist.

Only habits are left.

You can go.

What role does music have
these days?

Do you really think the audience knows
what music is?

They think they are clever just because
they feel butterflies in their stomach.

Beethoven makes everyone feel
like a knight in shining armor.

I can almost picture them picking up
their chairs and running away.

When I am conducting, I feel stupid.

It's as if I was dead.
I feel like a ghost.

I didn't mean to say that.
Please cut it out.

Nowadays you have to be optimistic
all the time.

I have to be clever.

So let's say that
the music is the world.

When I am conducting, I feel
like the world's leader, like a king.

Do you really want to know how I feel?

I feel like a sergeant major who kicks
people in the backside all the time.

Although these days the law forbids
you to behave like a sergeant.

I am sure we have taken advantage
of our privileged position.

Excuse me, I need a drink.

This is not even chilled.

There is no ice in the bucket.

There is a fine line between talent
and eccentricity.

For example, once I asked
a musician to take her ring off

because the reflection of the light
on the stone was bothering me.

Everyone thought I was throwing
a tantrum and behaving like a diva.

It may well be,
but it's the eccentricity

that enables an artist
to have the ability

to enthrall and lead everyone.

Cheers.

But now the key role
of the director is criticized.

Musicians...

I don't even look at them.

I must say that
sometimes I can't stand their faces.

If I could, I would put
a screen in front of some of them.

They look like ferocious dogs.

Staring at me.

It's best to cut this out

or they will shoot me
in the legs.

The golden era is over.

I remember the first time
I stepped on a rostrum.

The thing that hit me most
was the complete silence.

At the start signal

I realize that my baton

is connected with the orchestra.

Its voice originates from my hand.

The baton draws the orchestra
out of silence and then back to it.

The sound rises like a sea wave

when I lift my arm
and move it in the air like a wing.

And when I lower it
the sound fades.

Now we are all equal.

I have to be like the first violin,
who has fingers like a butcher.

What do I do about it?
I release my anger and buy houses.

I have two in the States,

one in Tokyo, one in London
and one in Berlin.

But not in Paris.

I don't want to have one there
because I don't like French music.

I think that's why
at customs at Orly

I get searched from top to bottom,
front and back.

You've got your interview now,
are we finished? I am going to go.

Orchestra conductor...

This word
doesn't mean anything anymore.

An orchestra conductor
is like a priest.

He needs to have
a church and parishioners.

When the church collapses

and the parishioners
become atheists...

I remember Koplensky,
my great teacher.

At the time, I was the first violin.

When he stepped on the rostrum,
everyone was silent.

He would glace over the music sheets
with an absent-minded look.

He knew them inside out.

He was the music.

We followed him with joy and fear

through a ritual of transubstantiation,

turning wine into blood
and bread into flesh.

Are you laughing at me?
I hope not.

Music is always sacred.

Every concert is like a mass.

We used to sit there in amazement.

We would forget
about everyday worries.

As we were waiting
for his baton to move

we were one with our instruments.

We were united by a vital force.

Then we would start.

There was nothing more beautiful
than his authority.

We used to tremble at the thought

that one mistake could spoil
the entire ritual.

It was very emotional.

It was sheer joy.

We felt as if our joy could be conveyed

to the audience
who was quiet and still.

We never used to look
at the conductor. We didn't need to.

He was there and we knew that.
We could feel it.

He was inside us.

There was a close relationship between
the conductor and the musicians.

Not anymore though,
as you can see.

There is only mistrust
between me and my musicians.

We are all against each other.
Our wariness undermines our trust.

Then there is contempt, resentment

and anger for something
that has gone and will never come back.

That's how we play together.

United only by hatred.

Like a broken family.

I don't know what's happened
but we have no electricity.

- I can see that.
- What shall we do?

What do you mean? The break is over.
We will carry on rehearsing.

- But...
- Come on, let's go.

Lead the way.

Conductor,
we don't want you anymore.

If you carry on conducting,
we will make you very sore.

Conductor,
we don't want you anymore.

If you carry on conducting,
we will make you very sore.

Conductor,
we don't want you anymore.

If you carry on conducting,
we will make you very sore.

- Claudio!
- What?

You have to do something!

- Now I’ll target the other eye!
- What are you doing?

Listen!

We don't want you anymore!
We won't let you conduct.

We were stupid to spend
all that time studying.

We spent all our life at music school.

You're right.

There's no need for a conductor,
no need for music, no need for nothing!

Let's throw everything
out of the window.

Music should be a public good

that everyone can enjoy,
regardless of their social class.

- Instead it's used to exploit us.
- How did it happen?

Conductor,
we don't want you anymore.

If you carry on conducting,
we will make you very sore.

You're mad. What are you doing?

- Darling.
- You drive me crazy.

You're all sweaty.

- What is this stuff coming down?
- What's going on up there?

You're ignorant
and are acting in bad faith!

- Traitor!
- You signed it too!

I’m going to report you to the union!
I’ll do it straight away!

We say no to exploitation!

Music is a chain of exploitation!

We must break it!
We must break it!

Hey, take a look.

What's on my head?

I felt something.

What do you want from me?
Are you looking for trouble?

What do you want? It's raining!

I will not tolerate being provoked.

What's this guy doing?

Look what some people can do!

He insists!

Do you want another one?

Another one?

We say no the baton!

No more conductors! We want
our music and we want it now!

You are nothing to me! Who is he?

I am asking you, who is that guy?

He doesn't exist, and if he does,
I am going to get rid of him!

Blood! You mad idiots!

Can I do my interview sitting there?

The first time I saw a harp,
it was in a dream.

I must have been four or five.
Perhaps even less.

I didn't know what that little golden
thing was... There is still blood.

Once I saw a picture in a book
showing Rome burning and Nero

holding an instrument that looked
like the one from the dream.

Then another time,
in a scented calendar

there was a flying angel
who was playing the harp.

The very same one
I saw in the dream.

The harp is like a human being.

Let me tell you something.
I couldn't live in a house

where there isn't harp.

I can't go to sleep if I know
it's not in the other room.

If it's not in the living room.

Sometimes I have the impression
that other hands are touching it.

I can hear it being played.
Maybe it's just the wind.

The harp is my whole life.

Not only from a financial
point of view.

It's been my shelter, my friend.

I have always been on my own.
I have never had a man.

Nobody. Just my harp.

I talk to her.

She talks back
and shares her feelings.

It's an overwhelming feeling of joy

and sadness at the same time.

But the most important thing
is that it instils faith.

If you play the harp, you believe
that there are other dimensions.

Once a child asked me,

"Where does music go
when you stop playing?"

Only a child
could ask such a question.

Orchestra, don't fear,
the conductor's death is near!

Orchestra, don't fear,
the conductor's death is near!

Orchestra,
if you play, you betray!

Orchestra, don't fear,
the conductor's death is near!

Orchestra,
if you play, you betray!

Orchestra, if you play,
you betray!

Orchestra, if you play,
you betray!

Orchestra, if you play,
you betray!

That's our new conductor!

Your time is up,
conductor give it up!

Your time is up,
conductor give it up!

Long live the metronome!

Metronome! Metronome!

Metronome! Metronome!

All musicians will finally be free!

Your time is up,
conductor give it up!

Your time is up,
conductor give it up!

Down with the metronome!
Music has its rhythm, its cadence!

We want to set them!

It is time to stop playing music
that works against us.

Since we play it,
we also want to create it!

Conducting is forbidden!
We don't want anyone to direct us!

You stupid bitch!

I’ll kill you!

He's going to kill us!

Are you mad? Give me that revolver!

- Give it to me!
- You're hurting me!

I have a gun permit.
It's in my wallet.

- Take a look.
- Let me see it.

I have a gun permit.

It's in his name.

- It's a proper gun permit.
- See? I told you I had one.

Pull yourself up.

Smith & Wesson?

Look!

Up there! Up there!

Hey, look!

Mario, look! It's coming down!

It's all coming down!

Help! Help!

Help me!

Clara!

Clara!

Why?

You are here.

I am here.

Each of you must focus
on your own instrument.

It's the only thing we can do.

Could anyone please help me?

Music saves us.

Music saves us.

Rely on the notes.

Follow the notes.

One after the other.

Just as my hands can guide you.

We are musicians.

You are musicians.

And we are here to rehearse.

Don't be afraid.
The rehearsal goes on.

Gentlemen, take your places.
Take your places, please.

Thank you.

Shall we make sound less colorful?

Don't forget that noise is not music.

This is not a tram taking a sharp turn.
I heard the noise of pans.

Where are we?
Are we at a football stadium?

Do you think I am the referee?

Brass, what are you doing?
What's happening to your small lungs?

Are you out of breath?

Did you use it all up to talk?
Play energetically!

With force! These trumpets
should wake up the dead!

This is making me fall asleep!

Are you musicians or not?

I want a sound
that has the color of fire!

Gentlemen, let's start
at the beginning!