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1
00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:06,920
Paige, the only real mother
you've ever had died.
2
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:09,547
- Oh, God.
- You have a lotta work to do.
3
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:11,466
Yes, like transcontinental
4
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:12,634
- railroad-level work.
- You wish.
5
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,928
No, railroad is a straight line.
6
00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:18,097
Grief is more like
a... it, it zigzags.
7
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,475
Ya have to take it
in, swirl it around.
8
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,393
Are you telling us
to gargle our grief?
9
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,229
- Mm.
- Exactly.
10
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:25,813
At least you're doin'
okay, huh, Edwin?
11
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,066
And you're basing
that on what now?
12
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:32,319
We just found out that Sadiiq, one
of his associates, just got 23 years.
13
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,405
Man, that boy's
life is done now.
14
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:35,865
Hell of a week, huh?
15
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,409
Finn, your dad was supposed to show
up and he stiffed you, that sucks.
16
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,745
- No, yeah, it's whatever.
- It really messed him up
17
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,789
and now he spends all
his time in his room.
18
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,707
Finn, I think you
might be backsliding.
19
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,044
Regression is part of
development, as you know, Paige.
20
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,421
I hate to, uh,
cause more stress,
21
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,423
but today's your last
session. I'm leaving town.
22
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:55,051
- What?!
- Yeah, I'm going to India on a Rumspringa.
23
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,470
- You're not Amish.
- It's sort of a spiritual awaken...
24
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,597
It's a six-month
thing. No talking.
25
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,891
It's just I'm in this
office every day,
26
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,935
and everybody comes in and
they dump all their shit on me.
27
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:07,021
Yack-yack-yack-yack-yack in
my ear and it's exhausting.
28
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,773
- No offense.
- So, you're saying that we gotta
29
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,984
- zig and zag and do all that...
- Yeah.
30
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,570
...and we all fucked up, and
you are goin' off to India.
31
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,494
Good for you, Doc, but
let me tell you somethin'.
32
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,992
Slide over. My grandson
has not driven a car...
33
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,285
- Oh.
- ...since the accident.
34
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:23,663
And this family is
nowhere near fixed, Doc.
35
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:27,125
I got bad news for ya.
You're never really fixed.
36
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:31,087
Murphy, my best mom
died, in my room.
37
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,213
So, now you need me?
38
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,423
- Kind of.
- Yes.
39
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,757
Maybe you guys have grown a bit.
40
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,509
You never would've
said that day one.
41
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,178
Loss is inevitable.
42
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,513
The key is what you do with
it. That's what matters.
43
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,811
So, I'm gonna ask you
all three this question.
44
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:46,561
What will you do
with your grief?
45
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,647
And you gotta feel it,
man. Ya gotta feel it here.
46
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:50,815
You've got to feel it here.
47
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:53,906
- And you've got...
- Don't, don't, man. Just don't.
48
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,778
At least...
49
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,865
Well, took 'em long enough
to approve the claim.
50
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,283
Thank you so much, Nadine.
51
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,707
Well, you're the one who paid
the premium 17 years in advance.
52
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:07,248
Still can't believe
the news about Carole.
53
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,959
Paige is havin' folk
over after the funeral,
54
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,086
and I, I told 'em I'd cater.
55
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,800
Do they know you
cook with spices?
56
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:19,302
- I told Paige I want you to come.
- Mm.
57
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,346
I don't wanna do
anything to upset Paige.
58
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,514
Don't worry 'bout that.
59
00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,807
I'll just stay home
and eat a dry pot roast
60
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,314
in honor of the woman I
could never live up to.
61
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,735
I'm sorry about Sadiiq.
62
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:34,363
Fox okay?
63
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,365
I don't know.
64
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:41,491
- Are you okay?
- Hell no, I'm not okay.
65
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,118
- Man, this is so fucked up.
- I know.
66
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:47,121
But I still had choices.
67
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:50,212
And I need to be
doing more, Nadine.
68
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,674
I gotta go after it.
69
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,634
Well...
70
00:02:56,260 --> 00:03:01,390
now... you can go after it...
in a brand-new Baby Bentley.
71
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,223
The funeral's gonna be
all hymns, no SKIMS.
72
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:08,351
- I want the after-party to be fun.
- It's not called an after-party.
73
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,228
Whatever, the reception.
74
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:11,938
I just wish we knew
that she was sick.
75
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,439
Then we could've
planned a real rager,
76
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,234
but knowing Mom, she just
didn't want us to feel bad.
77
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,152
Well, too late for that now.
78
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,320
- For real though...
- Yeah.
79
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,118
- ...why haven't I cried yet?
- What?
80
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,449
I don't know. Am I broken?
81
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,034
You have a few cracks,
82
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,453
but do you think maybe
you're having some
83
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,414
- regret about your last conversation?
- Uh-uh, no-no, I...
84
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:30,748
No, I don't wanna
talk about this.
85
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:34,210
You are the one who loves
to talk about feelings.
86
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,672
Oh, maybe if you talk
about your feelings,
87
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,595
I'll recognize what one
looks like in the wild.
88
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,051
- Okay...
- Mm-hm.
89
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,142
...I'm trying to figure out
how to metabolize my grief.
90
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,183
And I feel like I
just wanna run out
91
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:50,226
and tell everybody that I
love how I feel about them.
92
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,065
By every single
person you mean Mal?
93
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:55,440
I mean, he's one of the people.
94
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,984
He's your person.
95
00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,694
He's with someone.
96
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:02,197
Okay, I'm not telling you
to go all Ariana Grande,
97
00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:04,949
but what if Mal dies tomorrow?
98
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,538
That is so dark.
99
00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:08,828
Do I have to tell him?
100
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:11,084
I think you get to tell him.
101
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,210
- Hey.
- Um, I just...
102
00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:17,253
I know this is crazy
and unexpected,
103
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,671
- but I just...
- Hey, Paige!
104
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,715
- Oh, hi, Ava!
- Oh, my God!
105
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,259
You're here! Of course.
106
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,345
Just watchin' Family or Fiancé.
107
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,639
Black love, baby.
Look, I gotta pause it.
108
00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:29,224
They're about to do
the blessin' ceremony.
109
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:31,313
- Ooh.
- That's a good part.
110
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:33,686
So?
111
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,981
Uh, I, I came by because
112
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:41,110
Finn is starting to look at
colleges and, um, it's exciting,
113
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,906
so I-I wanted you to maybe think about
writing him a letter of recommendation?
114
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:48,493
Yeah, of-of course. Um,
do you need it soon or?
115
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,328
Yeah, yeah, in
probably eight months.
116
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:51,830
- Ah, okay.
- Yeah.
117
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:55,124
- Uh, well, thanks for the heads-up.
- Yeah, it's a long time,
118
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,377
you know, so it
can be really good.
119
00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:58,962
I-Is that it?
120
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,051
- Yeah.
- Okay.
121
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:07,512
Um... so, how are you and
Esti doing, Carole's death?
122
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,518
I know it must be really hard.
123
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,308
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, too.
124
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,061
Oh, th-thank you, Ava.
125
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,981
You should, like,
watch your show,
126
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:21,401
- your Fiancé and Family thing, yeah.
- Yeah.
127
00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:23,945
- Bye, Paige! Bye!
- Okay, bye, bye!
128
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,868
Peace.
129
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,285
♪ If you like piña coladas ♪
130
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:34,376
♪ And gettin'
caught in the rain ♪
131
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:36,583
How do I sound?
132
00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:38,505
Loud, woman, loud.
133
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,753
I didn't even know
Carole liked karaoke.
134
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:44,174
Oh, she did not. Carole did
not drink, swear, or party,
135
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:47,510
so let's celebrate a woman who
lived a perfectly sober life
136
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,345
by turning the fuck up.
137
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,306
Yeah, I thought that
funeral was kinda sad.
138
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,891
- Mm.
- You know, sister girl, I gotta say,
139
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:56,227
I think you zigzaggin'
kinda in your grief,
140
00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:59,401
so you need
anything... I'm here.
141
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,441
You know what I need?
142
00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:02,609
What?
143
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,819
Ice. I'm gonna
go to the store.
144
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:08,448
No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. I got a, I got a better idea.
145
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,162
Hey, Finn?!
146
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:15,538
Been hidin' out in his room ever
since... his daddy didn't show, you know,
147
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,336
regressing instead
of progressing.
148
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,252
Yeah, you yelled?
149
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:23,922
Yeah, I need you to go to the
store, get some ice, okay?
150
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:25,340
Uh, give him the keys.
151
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:26,508
Yeah, this would be a good way
152
00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:29,177
for you to get your driving
sea legs back under you.
153
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:30,678
You want me to drive there?
154
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,226
- Yeah.
- In the car?
155
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,270
Yes.
156
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:38,561
Go on, man, you got it.
157
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,484
- I believe in you, bud.
- I do, too.
158
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,152
Hello.
159
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,276
Uh, you said I can
handle this next week.
160
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,945
No, I will be there. No.
161
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:49,739
I, uh, gimme a
c-couple hours, okay?
162
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,783
Yep. No, I will see you soon.
163
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,076
- Sistergirl.
- Mm, mm-hm.
164
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,577
- A couple shakes of this.
- Mm-hm.
165
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,579
Top on, in the refrigerator.
166
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,748
- Don't mess up my food now.
- Got it, got it, got it.
167
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,546
- Shake, top on, don't mess it up.
- Okay.
168
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,341
There you are.
169
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,134
Hi.
170
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,509
Finn, how are you doing?
171
00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:12,387
Just 'cause I know funerals
can be kind of intense.
172
00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:13,725
I didn't really know her.
173
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:17,183
I'm just glad that she
didn't die in my room.
174
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:19,273
- No offense.
- None taken.
175
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,437
Honey, do you think that
maybe you could come down
176
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,731
for just a little bit
when people get here?
177
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,734
Uh, yeah, maybe. I just...
I kinda prefer to backslide
178
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,323
in the privacy of my own room.
179
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:29,946
- So, no?
- No.
180
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,490
Honey, I... When I said
backslide, I was not...
181
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,575
- Baby.
- Yes?
182
00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:36,244
Um, I got the brisket
on cruise control.
183
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,413
- Everything else, ready to go.
- No, where are you going?
184
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,456
We have people coming
here after church.
185
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,877
I know, somethin' came up and I
gotta handle it, like, right now.
186
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:46,087
- No.
- Nadine gon' give a ride and, uh...
187
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,798
- What, Nadine?!
- Don't gimme a hard time, baby...
188
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,091
I thought that that was done.
189
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,176
- It's a ride, baby.
- Okay.
190
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:53,473
- That's all it is, a ride.
- Okay, but where are you...
191
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,770
Good afternoon.
192
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,276
- Hello.
- Yes.
193
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:09,027
Uh, so, in here, I have my written
test, my, um, proof of residency,
194
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:11,613
my travel letter, and
my birth certificate
195
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:15,241
I went all the way to Alabama to
get, but that didn't work out.
196
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,706
I just do the
wr... driving test.
197
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:19,541
I apologize.
198
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:23,875
This was a last-minute appointment,
so I'm... a little nervous, you know?
199
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,460
Well, let's just start.
200
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,712
You are going to drive forward,
201
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,881
and then you'll just make
a left at the stop sign.
202
00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:32,721
Gotcha. Okay.
203
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:38,181
Ooh. Ah, I'm sorry.
This not my vehicle.
204
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,141
I borrowed it from a friend.
205
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,435
Actually my ex.
206
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,192
You know what,
I'm just gonna go.
207
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,442
Oh, whoa!
208
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,903
This baby got some
giddy-up... uh.
209
00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,988
Actually, I...
210
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:56,950
I need a minute, yeah.
211
00:08:56,954 --> 00:09:00,161
I was at a funeral...
earlier today
212
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:04,999
and, and I was supposed to be
catering the reception and...
213
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,089
but my driver's license...
214
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,008
is my next step.
215
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,556
This is totally
inappropriate, but, um...
216
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,346
they don't make it easy
for formerly incarcerated
217
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:21,391
to get their lives
back together.
218
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:24,394
So that's why you haven't
had a license since 2006?
219
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:27,442
Yes, ma'am. I lost a lotta life.
220
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,740
'Til right now, you know?
221
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,372
My brother did time.
222
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:43,584
Oh.
223
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:47,004
Uh, how's-how's he... how's he
doin'? Is he, he doin' okay?
224
00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:51,087
It ain't easy, ma'am.
225
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:54,178
Well, uh, Mr. Alexander...
226
00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:56,843
I want this for you too,
227
00:09:56,847 --> 00:10:01,598
so just don't run over any
cones or flags or people.
228
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:04,688
- I really am an excellent driver, ma'am.
- Okay.
229
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,691
And I am ready to progress.
230
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,949
I'll get it. I'll get it.
Esti, I'll get it. I got it.
231
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,574
Oh. Ice, ice baby. Busted.
232
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,910
Anxiety takes another W, huh?
233
00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,415
What's going on?
234
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,750
Esti, did you grow up in a barn?
235
00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:31,920
- Wait, wait, wait. Hold up!
- Oh, Go... Sorry. I'm sorry.
236
00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:33,046
- Come on in.
- I-I'm sorry.
237
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:35,469
I, I wanted to pay my respects.
238
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,175
Carole was a wonderful person
239
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:40,261
- and she raised an amazing woman, so.
- Yeah, Esti is amazing.
240
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,972
- Paige.
- Sorry. Thank you.
241
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,891
Look, I know you're hurting,
242
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:47,477
okay, but there are people
that care about you.
243
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:48,603
I want you to know that.
244
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:51,314
- Mal, how 'bout a duet?
- Um...
245
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:55,693
Um, can you please distract Esti so she
doesn't make Pastor Nelson sing again?
246
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:59,322
Because he's very tired and very
sad and he can't hold a tune.
247
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:03,159
♪ Did you ever know
that you're my hero? ♪
248
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,787
- Sure. Mm-hm.
- Thank you.
249
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:10,625
Oh, wow! Look who's back
from their secret errand.
250
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,460
Babygirl, I didn't
have a choice.
251
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,379
- This is somethin' I had...
- Dad, it's fine. We survived,
252
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,089
but you do need to get
more mac and cheese
253
00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:19,425
- on the table though, ASAP.
- Okay. I'd be happy to.
254
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,391
- Thank you.
- Oh, now, Nadine...
255
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,226
thank you.
256
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,603
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
257
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:29,690
Okay.
258
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,858
Do you wanna take off
your coat and stay awhile?
259
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,277
- Really?
- Yes.
260
00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:39,279
There's plenty of
food, obviously.
261
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,698
Ah. How 'bout
eligible bachelors?
262
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:42,949
Any of those?
263
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:45,247
Uh... Pastor Nelson?
264
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:49,038
♪ 'Cause you are the wind ♪
265
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,962
- ♪ Beneath my wings ♪
- Too soon.
266
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:56,421
- Uh, hello, everyone.
- Oh, oh. I think we're gathering.
267
00:11:56,425 --> 00:12:01,342
Ah. Yeah, before we continue the
karaoke portion of the after-party,
268
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:06,055
and, yes, everyone must sing, I
thought I should say a few words.
269
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,933
My mom always had my back.
270
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:12,770
Like, when she wrote my third
grade teacher, Mrs. Rice,
271
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:15,481
a devastatingly passive
aggressive letter
272
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:19,194
saying that my times tables
were just fine, thank you.
273
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:23,114
- It was a gentle aggression.
- That's just who she was, a saint.
274
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,411
And I...
275
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:27,160
I suck.
276
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:30,371
I'm serious. The, the
last time Mom saw me,
277
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,832
I-I was spitting into a tube
278
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:37,754
like I-I wasn't related to the
mother I had right in front of me.
279
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,381
A-And I will never
get to hug her again.
280
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,259
And guess what? I
haven't even cried yet.
281
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,928
Right? Like-like-like-like
if this were a movie,
282
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,763
I would be crying
right now, right?
283
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,681
- Like, mm, mm-hm.
- I'ma step in.
284
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:52,060
Nope, I am a a all
spit and no tears.
285
00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:54,354
- Nope. No, not today. Uh-huh?
- ...take a break.
286
00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:56,689
- No, no. I-I haven't sung my song yet.
- There'll be time for that.
287
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,816
- There'll be time.
- Okay. Okay.
288
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,486
Thank you, Esti, that
was so beautiful.
289
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:05,323
If I could just add a word
or two? Okay. Thank you.
290
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:10,870
I think part of what Esti
was getting at is that, um,
291
00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:15,333
our mother really...
lived to love.
292
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:18,336
And-And I-I don't mean
love like the-the feeling.
293
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,129
I mean, love as a verb, right?
294
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,757
Because love as a
verb, is what you do.
295
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:27,053
And, um, she...
she did everything.
296
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,722
She took us in.
297
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:33,309
And she had a heart
that was just so
298
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:37,605
open, and vulnerable,
and generous.
299
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:40,400
Probably a lot of times
when it-it would have felt
300
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:44,491
much less scary not to be, um.
301
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,740
But, you know, love as
a verb is about knowing
302
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:51,411
that there's no
after-party in life,
303
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:55,540
so you, you just
have to love now,
304
00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:57,333
while you can.
305
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,630
Um...
306
00:14:00,716 --> 00:14:02,634
before it's too late.
307
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:07,010
I think that's something that
Carole really understood,
308
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:09,304
and...
309
00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:12,686
I think it's something that I
am starting to understand now.
310
00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:23,401
Um, so, thank you so much,
everybody, for coming.
311
00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:25,737
I really appreciate it.
And-And, um, for karaoke,
312
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:28,948
maybe everybody can just
line up in this room.
313
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,617
Um, thank you.
314
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:32,911
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
315
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:36,001
Hey, hey, hey, wait, please.
316
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:41,089
- Paige, that was beautiful, but, like...
- Just hear me out, okay?
317
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,088
I have been doing all
of this work on myself,
318
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,798
and I think that it
has really allowed me
319
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,884
to see you for who
you really are,
320
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,303
and you are amazing.
321
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:52,597
You're such a good friend,
you're a grounded partner,
322
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:56,309
you see me, I think, like,
really Into-Me-You-See,
323
00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:58,394
and I feel connected to
you in all the right ways.
324
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,104
Like, here and here and here.
325
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:02,524
Paige, I don't think you really
know what you're saying right now.
326
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:05,652
I'm completely certain
of what I'm saying.
327
00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:07,654
I'm, I'm sorry.
328
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:10,744
- What does that mean?
- I gotta go.
329
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:22,381
Oh! Oh, God. Oh, God.
330
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,977
Heard about the ice.
331
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:40,899
Hey, Finn...
332
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:48,323
one thing I learned
about love, family...
333
00:15:51,702 --> 00:15:56,828
the... disappointment,
it's unavoidable, man.
334
00:15:56,832 --> 00:15:59,918
'Cause all folks,
they are just...
335
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,629
f-flawed as hell.
336
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:06,004
- You're not.
- Come on, man.
337
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:09,257
I know I've let down
the folk I care about.
338
00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:13,974
I let your mama down, over
and over and over again.
339
00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:18,725
And all kind of folk have
let me down, believe that.
340
00:16:18,729 --> 00:16:21,565
But it doesn't affect
the love, Finn.
341
00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:25,485
Now, I know it didn't work
out the way you wanted.
342
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,402
I am so proud of you for
reachin' out to your dad.
343
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:33,198
For somebody who's so-called
scared of everything,
344
00:16:33,202 --> 00:16:36,159
Finn, you did the
hardest thing possible.
345
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,454
You put yourself out there.
346
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:42,669
Now you can do that?
You can do anything.
347
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:50,302
- Oh... should I help?
- I got it.
348
00:16:50,636 --> 00:16:52,133
My condolences again.
349
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:54,056
Okay. Thank you.
350
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,143
And I liked your speech.
351
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,812
- Thanks.
- To Mal.
352
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:04,399
Carole would've been proud.
353
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:06,902
And I'm proud.
354
00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:11,903
Well... I don't
think Mal liked it.
355
00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:16,203
- I mean, he just walked out, so.
- You know what, Paige?
356
00:17:16,662 --> 00:17:19,661
You're kind of unforgiving,
somewhat judgmental,
357
00:17:19,665 --> 00:17:22,163
- and a bit of a know-it-all...
- That was rude.
358
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:26,088
...but Mal would be a
fool not to be with you.
359
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,885
I'm glad you stayed.
360
00:17:32,636 --> 00:17:36,640
Well... I am kinda the
only mom you have left.
361
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:38,471
Oh, God.
362
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:42,563
- Oh, that's kind of true.
- Hm. Mm-hm.
363
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:50,984
Rawr.
364
00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:56,076
Hey. I'm sorry I put you on
blast with the whole ice thing.
365
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,658
Nah, it's cool.
366
00:17:58,662 --> 00:18:05,748
Just, um... you know, sometimes, my
brain makes small things impossible.
367
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:09,252
Even though I've done much harder
things than drive two blocks for ice.
368
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,629
Eh, I shouldn't put ice
in my chardonnay anyway.
369
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,047
Makes me look
trashier than I am.
370
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:16,259
I just feel bad that I
disappointed you guys, you know?
371
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:21,431
But, uh, Grandpa said that part of
being in a family is disappointment.
372
00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:23,437
But he made it sound
way more hopeful.
373
00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:26,315
Yeah, he was all like...
374
00:18:27,191 --> 00:18:29,189
"Finneas James,
375
00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:30,940
"part of love,
376
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:34,406
"part of family
is disappointment.
377
00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:37,576
Because all folk
flawed as hell."
378
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:42,702
You know, it doesn't
mean that, um...
379
00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:44,787
doesn't mean that
you don't love them
380
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,127
and it doesn't mean that
they don't love you.
381
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,421
Or somethin' like that.
382
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:59,052
You're s... You're so
right. I, um, I loved Mom.
383
00:18:59,056 --> 00:19:00,386
And she loved me.
384
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,681
W-Was, was she disappointed I-I
wanted to find my birth family?
385
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:06,772
Yeah. Yeah, she was.
386
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:12,569
But, but then she died and...
she died feeling terrible.
387
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:18,071
But-But that doesn't mean
I-I shouldn't follow through
388
00:19:18,075 --> 00:19:19,656
because she's gone now.
389
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:24,369
And me not sending in a tube of my
spit isn't gonna bring her back.
390
00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:27,459
Oh, God. Um.
391
00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:30,959
Aunt Esti, are you okay?
392
00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:35,050
Totally! No-no-no-no-no.
C-Crying was the goal.
393
00:19:35,801 --> 00:19:38,220
- Okay. Yeah.
- Thank you.
394
00:19:44,393 --> 00:19:45,598
How you doin', baby girl?
395
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:49,189
You mean because of my
very public humiliation?
396
00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:53,648
You know, it actually led to a
revelation with my book proposal,
397
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:56,734
so it's not just about
dating with daddy issues.
398
00:19:56,738 --> 00:20:01,243
It's about Living and
Loving and Losing...
399
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:03,783
with Daddy Issues.
400
00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:08,458
You know how they say, um... you
know, "It'll be alright in the end"?
401
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:10,961
If it ain't alright...
402
00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:14,548
that means it ain't the end.
403
00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:19,716
That's good.
404
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,009
Hm.
405
00:20:21,013 --> 00:20:23,932
- Can I add that?
- You know, I'ma charge you.
406
00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:29,976
- Hey, um, if you got a minute, baby...
- Oh, it's not a good time.
407
00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:33,400
- Dad, I'm, I'm right...
- Just a, just a...
408
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,274
- Okay.
- And it's only a few miles away.
409
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,780
- I have to drive?
- No.
410
00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:43,285
I'll be drivin'.
411
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,246
Yeah, I know my
timing wasn't great,
412
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:54,755
but... I was in a
bidding war on this baby.
413
00:20:55,881 --> 00:20:58,342
Owner almost gave
it to the other guy.
414
00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:02,930
And that's why I had to get
my driver's license today.
415
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,934
I'm takin' that
next step, y'all.
416
00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:10,141
I ain't holdin' back.
417
00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:13,144
I'm gonna be the father
ya always needed me to be.
418
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,355
Did you give up your steady job
419
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:18,650
with decent pay
for this next step?
420
00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:20,360
- What?
- I got you, baby girl.
421
00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:22,407
As a matter of
fact, no, I am not.
422
00:21:23,534 --> 00:21:25,536
I'm workin' two jobs...
423
00:21:26,245 --> 00:21:27,742
'til I know I got this.
424
00:21:27,746 --> 00:21:30,870
Then I support you, Dad, 100%.
425
00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:32,747
- This is dope, Grandpa.
- Right?
426
00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:35,587
- You're following your dream.
- Yeah, I am.
427
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:44,278
Man, you guys have been doin' all
kinds of stuff with your grief.
428
00:21:44,763 --> 00:21:50,394
You know, I'm wondering, if
maybe I could... drive us home?
429
00:21:52,104 --> 00:21:55,103
- You think you ready?
- Yeah. I mean, it's not about waiting
430
00:21:55,107 --> 00:21:58,193
for the anxious thing
to go away, right?
431
00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:01,484
It's about doin'
shit while anxious.
432
00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:04,779
- Come on now. Go 'head, man.
- Oh, oh, no. No-no-no-no-no.
433
00:22:04,783 --> 00:22:07,907
I, I love you both so
much. Super proud of you.
434
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:12,829
But I think that maybe you should start
with the Volvo and not Grandpa's truck.
435
00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:13,997
- It's...
- Deal.
436
00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:16,499
- Oh, did I just get had?
- Go. Go.
437
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,589
- Did he...
- Go to the Volvo, brother.
438
00:22:21,884 --> 00:22:26,050
Today has been a tornado.
439
00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:30,346
But I learned recently that you
are supposed to gargle your grief.
440
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:34,559
You have to sit with it
and swish it around and...
441
00:22:34,563 --> 00:22:37,103
let it heal you on the
inside, I guess, I don't know.
442
00:22:37,107 --> 00:22:41,024
But maybe that's how
grief works, right?
443
00:22:41,028 --> 00:22:46,613
It-It is... it's here to
teach us how to live, today,
444
00:22:46,617 --> 00:22:49,620
as if the after-party is now.
445
00:22:50,245 --> 00:22:51,455
So...
446
00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:54,621
yeah, go a... go ahead and...
447
00:22:54,625 --> 00:22:57,916
sing Baby Got Back at
your mom's funeral,
448
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:03,008
and buy a food truck,
and go on a Rumspringa.
449
00:23:03,884 --> 00:23:08,092
Do the thing that
you are afraid to do.
450
00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:11,012
You know, tell people
that you love them.
451
00:23:11,016 --> 00:23:14,390
Even the ones... that
don't feel the same.
452
00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:17,101
Because, in the
end, you could...
453
00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:19,399
- Paige.
- Hey. Hi.
454
00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:22,941
Um, what are you doing here?
455
00:23:22,945 --> 00:23:26,069
I, um, I just needed
time to process.
456
00:23:26,073 --> 00:23:29,030
I know, I put you on the spot.
It was a hard sell. I'm so sorry.
457
00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:30,198
- I didn't mean to dump all my...
- Sold.
458
00:23:30,202 --> 00:23:33,121
- I'm sorry, did you say...
- Sold.
459
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:40,875
I needed time to think, and I
needed to break up with Ava.
460
00:23:40,879 --> 00:23:43,920
- Did you do that?
- I did because
461
00:23:43,924 --> 00:23:47,636
how I feel about you
was not fair to her.
462
00:23:49,054 --> 00:23:50,264
Mal...
463
00:23:53,976 --> 00:23:55,853
I wanna try again.
464
00:23:57,563 --> 00:24:00,186
I gotta be honest, that
sounds pretty terrifying.
465
00:24:00,190 --> 00:24:04,190
I know. I'm terrified too.
466
00:24:04,194 --> 00:24:06,113
But I feel like...
467
00:24:07,865 --> 00:24:11,326
we could do it
differently this time?
468
00:24:11,577 --> 00:24:13,575
Maybe we just take it slow.
469
00:24:13,579 --> 00:24:16,077
I've never done slow
a day in my life,
470
00:24:16,081 --> 00:24:18,329
- but...
- Mm.
471
00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:20,252
...I could try...
472
00:24:21,003 --> 00:24:22,421
for you...
473
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:24,798
for us.
474
00:24:25,340 --> 00:24:27,968
You know, for this.
475
00:24:38,103 --> 00:24:39,601
Paige.
476
00:24:39,605 --> 00:24:43,521
Nope. No. No! Dad.
477
00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:45,444
Come on.
478
00:24:50,157 --> 00:24:51,362
What's wrong?
479
00:24:51,366 --> 00:24:52,951
Somebody's here.
480
00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:54,745
Who?
481
00:24:56,455 --> 00:24:57,915
Your mom.
482
00:25:01,376 --> 00:25:02,790
Wait. What now?
483
00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:04,588
♪ Baby ♪
484
00:25:10,427 --> 00:25:13,847
♪ Can't keep on runnin' ♪
485
00:25:15,807 --> 00:25:22,810
♪ All I want you to do
is to feel with me ♪
486
00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:24,733
♪ Yeah ♪
487
00:25:28,987 --> 00:25:32,199
♪ We both are hurtin' ♪
488
00:25:34,451 --> 00:25:38,080
♪ And it's gonna
take a little time ♪
489
00:25:40,499 --> 00:25:45,712
♪ To heal all the wounds
and save our family ♪
490
00:25:49,174 --> 00:25:51,176
Woo-hoo!
37478
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