Original subtitles

Here's the deal.

A family is only as functional as the people in it.

In order to come together, grow together, you have to get yourselves together.

Now, you all need to work on your individual kink.

My kink? I'm sorry.

- What is happening right now? - What are we talkin' about right now?

You have a twist, right, that needs to be straightened out.

Otherwise, you're gonna end up in the same broken place over and over again.

Edwin, let's start with you, shall we?

Now, sir, I realize there's a carceral system placed in this country

that is stacked against you at every turn.

- You got that right. - It's real and it's wrong,

yet it's here.

And somehow, you've, you've managed to avoid a healthy relationship

with money and a job.

- How do you know that? - Your intake form here.

Says here you spent 17 years in prison for conspiring to distribute cocaine.

Now that part of you has seriously interfered

with you becoming a good father and a good grandfather.

Hey, Doc, Doc, I've been tryin'

- to get a job... - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Stop, stop. We don't try in here. Not now. Not you.

- Try to pick up that pen. - What?

See, you don't try, you just do it.

Let me tell you somethin', Edwin,

today, in this office, we're in "Do It Season."

- 'Kay? - Yeah. Okay, okay.

Finn, why don't you tell me what you're struggling with?

My mom says I game too much.

No, honey. That's not... I... Not in judgment.

- I just... - She says I don't go outside.

No, no. What I, I...

Is it wrong for me to want him to have friends in high school?

'Cause I want him to go off to college, and get a job,

and have a career, and meet somebody, and get married,

and have a really nice life.

- I just... - Take a breath, lady, will ya?

In fact, why don't we all just take a deep breath?

You like that, Edwin, huh?

Great.

Alright. So, that's your challenge. Take a risk. Okay, Finn?

Get out there and interact with live humans. Good?

Now we come to you.

- Hello, Paige. - Yep. Bring it on.

Uhh, let's take our time with this, huh?

Picture me outside of Whole Foods, okay?

And I have one of those-those-those clipboards

and I say, "What is it in your life that you're

"consistently fucking up over and over again?

And no matter what you do, you can't fix?"

No, no, no. Give her a minute.

Uh, Doc, you're chargin' us by the hour, right?

I don't think we should be wasting minutes like this.

Heard and respected. Your issue is your romantic relationships.

- Ding, ding, ding. - Yeah.

Finn, if my romantic relationships have affected you, I'm r-really sorry.

- If? - It's obvious you have

a primary attachment wound.

I mean, even a corporate shrink should know that.

There it is. Couldn't resist.

Is that the reason that my daughter walked away from a perfectly good man?

- No. No! No. - Yes.

It didn't work out with Mal because he's not right for me.

I'm not sure you know what's right for you.

- I do. - I think that this is where you're living.

- Yeah. I'm very smart. - Right?

No. B-Brains should be employees, not bosses.

Anyway, the point is that you have to deal with your primary attachment wound.

- Okay? - Okay.

Paige, you got that.

Paige, here's what I want you to do. I want you to stop living from here.

- Okay. - I want you to live from here and here...

- Okay. - ...and here.

- Whoa, hey. Come on! - Whoa, whoa. Okay, now. Okay, now.

- Come on now. Stop. - Murphy. Why?

Can we take another deep breath, please?

Come on. Do it with me.

So, as a therapist myself,

I am well aware that the very best place

for an adult to practice primary attachment is in a relationship.

So, even though I kinda thought that I was taking a break from dating,

I think I might be kinda putting myself back out there.

What? Yeah. Okay. So, I don't know. Wish me luck?

- Yes! - Oh!

- Saw that? - I saw that.

- You saw that? - You're winnin', man!

I mean, "win" isn't really, like, the right word.

You know, it's a multiplayer game with a main quest,

there's, like, hundreds of side quests,

a couple, like, battle royale modes.

- Shit. I just took a mulligan. - Took a mulligan.

- Cool, cool. - What's a mulligan? I want a mulligan.

Yo, did you see that guy?!

- I see it. - Where is he goin'?!

Hey, you guys just sittin' here chillin'?

No. Finnie's showin' me how this game work.

Now, as far as I can tell, it's, uh,

'90s drug wars with a medieval twist.

- Right? - Yeah.

So, Dad, I just wanted to, um, thank you

for folding all this stuff.

- It's really nice. - It's the, uh, Marie Kondo method.

It saves twice the space.

- Oh. - That woman can fold, man.

- I want to teach you that, son. - Okay.

Um, there's just one other thing, too, if that's okay.

It's just that if you have leftovers,

can you put them in a container with a lid and not the plastic wrap?

'Cause just that stuff doesn't stick

and then the whole fridge smells, like it does now.

Really, baby girl? Plastic wrap?

- I just... - Yeah, I get it.

You are glad I'm back.

Uh-huh.

Maybe. A little.

This looks like a cool game.

Yeah, it is. I was telling Grandpa

that if he wants to be a part of the 21st century,

he needs to know what an MMORPG is.

Obviously, you have to know what that is, Dad.

- Come on, right? - Okay, okay, okay.

Have you given your therapy assignment any thought?

Now, wait. Remember what

- Murphy said now. - What?

- That mom sucks at relationships? - No! What he said was

each of us has to try different in the areas where we're busted down.

- That's what he said. - I wouldn't say that we're busted down

but that was very impressive because you got it.

You know, it took me 60 years to get my head around this thing?

Now if I'm goin' all-in, you goin' right along with me.

- Alright? - Alright. Okay.

So, you can invite one of those massive

multiplayer online role-playing gamers over here.

- What? - That's MMORPG.

- Aah! - In real life?

- Yes. IRL. - Nobody does that.

Well, you're the first. You can innovate.

You can be like the, I don't know, the Rosa Parks of gaming.

- Oh! - Right?

- I like that. - Heroic. Look how proud he is.

I don't even know what I should be looking for.

- I thought Murphy said ask your crotch. - Well, I don't talk to my crotch. Do you?

I don't care what you do,

as long as you don't mention Wine Country on the first date.

What is wrong with talking about a romantic getaway weekend?

Nothing. You just can't talk about sleeping together out of town

unless you're sleeping together in town.

I don't know. I think there are some guys who really like that.

Mm. Where-Where are those guys now?

You're not in a wonderful relationship with any of them, so.

- Okay. - Oh, he's cute!

No, he is in a Gucci shirt that says "Gucci."

- Not Gucci. - Hold up. Wait, wait, wait.

Y'all online shoppin' for a boyfriend, ain't you?

- Well... - That is lame.

- I'm sorry. Whoa. - Dad!

No, no. Who is that?

Why he showin' off them little, little nipples?

His name is Raymond.

- Okay. Uh-huh. - He's 44.

Apparently he's an engineer,

and he thinks that a bathroom mirror selfie

is gonna make me wanna have sex with him.

I'd have sex with him, if he had better shower tiles.

No. Okay. This is how it works. Okay?

We swipe left, which is a "no,"

to anybody who's in a fast car, or "hang loose" hands,

or anybody holding a fish that's two feet long.

- I don't do that. - What about Jacob?

- He's my type. - Well, yeah, your type is alive.

You know what? I respect the brotha's beard.

- Add to cart. - No, no, what... This is not...

- We're not shopping for milk. - Add!

- Oh no! - Add.

- Oh, God. - Add.

No, no. Add to cart.

- Can I have my... - Fish.

- No. - No.

Okay. Do you expect me to date...

all these guys at once?

- I thought that was the point, girl. - Well, maybe for a dog like you.

Oh, baby girl, your daddy is not a dog now.

Really?

When it came to the ladies, I was... more like a cat.

I don't know if I wanna know what you mean by that.

- I do. - Cats have swagger

'cause they know they're the shit.

Ain't afraid to take a risk 'cause they always land on they feet.

They aloof. They finicky.

A cat, they wouldn't give one single fuck.

Boom. Knowledge.

Okay, okay, okay. So, your advice to me

is that I should be arrogant and reckless and withholding?

That tracks.

That's not what I'm sayin' at all, Paige.

Alright, think about a lion.

We at the top of the food chain, up there goin',

"What? What food chain?"

Cats are powerful. You know why?

- Why? - Why?

'Cause cats are cool.

Unlike a dog who go around lickin' on folk they don't even know.

Ew. I mean, no. I am not a dog.

Think about that while I go look for a job.

- Hey. Hey, fellas. - Hey, how's it goin'?

Y'all here for the Residential Aide position?

Uh-huh.

Oh, you're married, huh?

- Almost a year now. - Oh, nice.

- Kids? - Actually... my wife's pregnant.

- Oh, wow. - Twins.

- It's gonna be wild. - That is beautiful, man.

Let me just tell you a word of advice:

You got an insurance policy,

just make sure it's paid up in full and it covers everything.

This line of work is no joke, man...

But I know y'all know that.

- Totally. - Yeah.

But, like, what specifically?

Well, you know why the last Residential Aide quit, right?

No.

He got shanked, man.

- Twice. - What?!

Yeah.

And now he can't donate his kidney to his wife.

It's-It's-It's a problem.

Hey... Thanks for the heads up.

- You out, man? - Yeah. Good luck.

- Thank you. Well, you too. - Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I didn't mean to...

I mean, this is a good gig.

You just gotta be prepared to work weekends and nights and holidays

and get that regular tetanus shot.

It's... it's a good gig.

Ah.

Isaac, the microwave is broken!

Stop tryna burn this shit down!

Damn. Sorry, man. Uh, where were we?

Uh, you was about to offer me a job. Well, now, no one else wants it.

Look, Edwin, I can't just give you a job, man.

- You have to earn... - Earn it.

- Yes. - Absolutely.

And that's why I wrote my credentials down right there and right there.

In excellent penmanship.

- It is excellent. - You know, kids don't write

- cursive anymore. - Oh.

They don't even learn it, man.

Experience in conflict resolutions, group facilitation skills...

Oh, oh, see right here. Uh, recently trained in CPR.

I took a YouTube class last night, man.

Look, Edwin, with Curtistine gone, I'm the HNIC.

Oh, I know that's right.

So, that means there's pressure on me to find the right person for the job.

I'd be goin' out on a limb,

but as a former resident with an immaculate record,

you are actually the ideal candidate.

You do understand the dynamics of this place,

and you'd know who and what to be on the lookout for.

- Is Miles still here? - Can't seem to get rid of him.

So?

Yeah. The job is yours. Congrats.

- My man. - Alright.

I won't let you down, man.

The microwave's trash.

Go get 'em, man.

That's it! Unplug it!

Dude, are you in, like, band or somethin'?

You seem like you're in band.

Nope, I'm not, but I do like music.

You should do band then.

Easy A, put it on your college applications.

Bro, what is this?

What is this, dude?

Um, it's a dragon.

Yeah. I mean, really, bro?

You still play with Legos? That's crazy.

Actually, I gotta go, but, uh, I'll see you.

Enjoy your Legos.

Yeah. Well, by the way, the plural of Lego is Lego... so.

A'ight, seven come 11, baby.

Run that back. Run that back. Run that back.

- Come on, now. Come on, now! - Here we go.

Hey, hey. Y'all good. Y'all good. Y'all good now.

I-I ain't the bogeyman, y'all. Let-Let me see those dice.

Come on, Miles. Let me see.

Cardstock, toothpaste, toilet paper.

Okay, you think these are rollin' right?

85% of the time ain't bad.

You'd roll 100%... you weight 'em right.

Let's see. Just add a little salt.

Huh? Take that.

Try those.

Those things are gon' roll like a B.B. King lick. Go 'head.

Old school.

- Alright. - Have a good night.

- The eggplant parm is excellent. - Is it?

I love eggplant parm with a nice, big Cab.

I should've gotten a Cab, right? Yeah.

Have you been to Wine Country?

Wake up, woman. Unpack that weekend bag.

You're acting like a golden retriever.

Uh, I-I love Napa and Sonoma, but I really wanna go to Tuscany.

Look at you. You practically humpin' this guy's leg.

- Do you have a passport? - Hold up! Are you drooling?

Cats are supposed to be cool. Come on, girl. Be cool. Try again.

You know what? Actually... I'm gonna have the salmon.

Well done. No capers. Extra broccoli.

I love a woman who knows what she wants.

♪ I tried to walk in shy, very unnoticed ♪

♪ But the men turned away from their burgers and sodas ♪

So, do you like your job?

- Mm-hm. - And what do you do for fun?

Fun things.

You're mysterious, huh? It's sexy.

I'm gonna get us another drink.

Anthony.

Pookie.

Miles.

Miles, lights out, man.

Let me guess...

promotion already.

- Edwin. - Mal.

So how do you think things are goin'?

Uh, been no fights since I started. Fellas love movie night.

I'd say things are goin' pretty good.

Yeah. I must admit Barbie was unexpected, but I digress.

Edwin, you know that prohibited activities result in disciplinary actions, correct?

- Absolutely. Yes, sir. - So, why didn't you report the gambling?

The gamblin'.

No, you're good. You're good, you're good.

You know what, Mal? I am sorry. I really am.

Oh.

But what I ain't... is a snitch.

I know you think you're helpin' these guys,

but you're not.

You're hurting them. Okay?

The rules exist for a reason.

Some of the rules are bogus, man.

I mean, no snacks, no smokes.

No thanks, man. I mean, come on now.

Sure. Some of the rules are oppressive.

Dumb even. Okay? I agree. But look, not all of 'em.

Like, smoking? You can't smoke inside, anywhere.

It's just basic.

I'm tryna give the guys some dignity, man.

I know how they feel.

Then you also know that some of these guys feel safer on the inside

than they do out here.

Guys afraid of freedom.

They reoffend intentionally just so they can go back in.

- I done seen that. - Exactly.

And our job is to reduce recidivism.

Your boy, Miles, is on a path.

I gotta stay true to the game, man.

You know that 17-year bid I just finished?

It's 'cause I didn't rat somebody out.

Oh, I knew the most and I said the least.

And I did the time.

Look, I'm not asking you to snitch...

but for this job, you better be a leader.

- Hey! - Hey.

You okay?

I'm just tired.

You wanna watch that, that dating show on TV

where the, the dude with the teeth gives the roses

to the women with the emotional problem?

- Yeah. Sure, sure. - Huh? Okay.

How's work?

I know you mean, "How's Mal?"

What? No. I said, "How's work?" Not, "How's Mal?"

- How is Mal? - Yeah.

No, I don't wanna know. I don't wanna... Don't tell me

because I am moving on and being who I need to be for me.

And it's working.

Wait a minute.

- Did you take my advice? - Yes!

Yes! Can you tell?! Can you tell?!

Okay, this last guy I went out on a date with,

he wants to take me to Martina.

- Oh, that's like a-a big... Okay. - It's so nice. It's really nice.

And I was like...

"I'm not sure."

- That's my baby cat. - Yes!

Yes! It's a vibe. It's just such a vibe!

Oh, thank you... It's good.

Huh, wait. Now see, why would Ashley P. Ask this-this guy, Mike,

to go on a date one-on-one with her

when he already made it with, uh, uh, Ashley-Ashley M. In the hot tub?

- And Ashley K. In the o... - Ashley... ocean.

- In the ocean. In the ocean. - Mm-hm. Yes, yes! Okay.

But Mike is who Ashley P. Really wants.

They're all in love with Mike.

- Okay. - Mm-hm.

Paige, I just realized somethin'.

What? That therapy is really working?

I was gonna say there are too many asses in this damn show.

But... therapy too. Yeah, yeah.

Hi! Oh, is it my birthday?

I don't know, is it?

No, but you are taking out the trash without being asked.

And that is amazing.

- I'm the luckiest mom ever. - My man. My man.

Hey, Finn.

That's your Lego, man.

I'ma need the pack.

The fuck, man?

Yo, I-I thought you was down, man.

Miles... we gotta do some of this shit by the book.

Come on, dawg. You know how miserable this place is.

I mean, it's supposed to be halfway, but th-this ain't even a third, man.

Third is better than nothin' at all.

Alright, man.

I'ma need the phone too, man.

What-What phone?

You gonna answer those Flamin' Hots or?

Look, man, I thought you knew what's up, man.

Yeah, I know what's up better than most. Believe me.

You got bullshit in here, we got bullshit out there.

All I'm sayin',

I'd much rather deal with the shit that keeps me on this side of the bars, Miles.

You feel me?

Appreciate you.

So, you gon' write me up?

Write what up?

You guys, I just wanted to give you an update

on my dating journey

because I'm killing it, destroying,

and I'm learning so much.

Okay, like, give way less fucks, take more baths,

and then, my personal favorite, be super finicky.

Right? It's fantastic. It's like nothing I've ever felt before.

So, I'm gonna document it all here.

It's gonna be called "How to Be a Cat."

Let me know what you think.

- The fuck is this? - What?

You went on a dating spree and put it all over your social media?

Well, uh, there's a lot that people can learn from these insights.

E-Every one of the guys I dated is still clawing his way

- into my DMs. - Um, ew.

Also, okay, I lost 3,000 followers because of the Kris & Chris hit job.

Thank you very much. So, you know,

I'm just rebuilding my community.

Because you need 3,000 more eyeballs to validate you?

Actually that would be, like, 6,000.

Alright, missy, I'm putting you on a social media diet

until you're clear whether you're doing it to give something or to get something.

- Okay. - And this whole "date like a cat" thing,

I mean, w-where did such a unskilled, transactional idea come from?

Okay.

I broke down how the animal kingdom works,

but I did not tell you to start purrin' on your phone

- and sharin' it with a bunch of people. - But the purring worked.

The purring was great. My dates were great.

- I felt centered, I felt amazing! - You felt powerful.

Is that the word you were trying to come up with?

Yes! Yes, I felt powerful.

Which is so good because usually I'm like a puppy, ya know?

Right, so you went from an anxious puppy to an avoidant cat.

- Yeah. - From having no power

than to having all of it.

- Right. - Wrong.

Look, both extremes are too much.

In one version, you're guaranteeing that you will get hurt.

And the other version, you're guaranteeing

that you won't get hurt.

Both are fundamentally insecure. Do you understand that?

Yes. Stop talking, please. Okay? I know this. I'm a therapist. I know this.

Yeah, yeah. You know it up here.

But I need you to know it here and here...

- No, no, don't do that... - No, no, no.

I don't know things there.

This was great. This was great. Mom's a cat. Grandpa's got a job.

- We could be done with therapy now. - Finn.

Finn, how'd you do with your assignment?

- Not good, I guess. - It was stupid and boring.

- Stupid and boring? - Mm-hm.

Finn, let me ask you somethin'.

Do you have a problem relaxing because you're moving your leg here?

- Sure. Yeah. - Right, yeah.

What about headaches? Do you-you get headaches, tense muscles?

Do you have problems staying asleep at night?

Okay. This, like, an ad for, like, erectile dysfunction?

I mean, the kid is too young for all that, man.

Edwin, please.

Have you ever considered that you may have

a, uh, a General Anxiety Disorder?

- I mean, I know I'm tense. - 'Kay.

- And I definitely think way too much. - Mm-hm.

- And people stress me out, so. - Yeah, but honey,

everybody your age feels the exact same way, right?

Who gives a fuck about everyone his age?

This is your child and it's affecting his life.

Can we just do that breathing shit again?

♪ Family ♪

♪ You're still part of me ♪

♪ Family ♪

♪ And now I know your heart's in tears ♪

♪ Family ♪

♪ I've been my proudest fear ♪

♪ Family ♪

♪ Just don't let time be wasted here ♪