All language subtitles for Unprisoned.S02E01.480p.x264-RUBiK

♪ Walk on by ♪

You guys, I am standing
outside a TV studio

because I'm about to do something
that I have never done before.

I am going to be on the
legendary Kris & Chris show!

And it's all because you guys
responded to the TED Talk

and you made it go viral.

So, tune in!

And if you can't, just wish
me luck, or a broken leg,

or whatever it is you say to somebody
who's gonna be on TV for the first time!

♪ Trick, I said what I said ♪

♪ I'd rather be famous instead ♪

♪ I let all that
get to my head ♪

♪ I don't care, I
paint the town red ♪

♪ Trick, I said what I said ♪

♪ I'd rather be famous instead ♪

♪ I let all that
get to my head ♪

♪ I don't care, I
paint the town red ♪

And we're back in
five, four, three...

two.

Welcome back to Twin
Cities This Morning!

Well, the holidays are
just around the corner

and that means family.

The big question
this time of year is:

how do you survive your
own DNA without box wine?

Joinin' us now are
two therapists:

Paige Alexander, who recently went viral
with her TED Talk about her dad's arrest.

Thank you so much for having me.

And Murphy Collins,
best-selling author of the book

Full Frontal Family Therapy.

- Paige.
- Yes?

I-Is there a hack to dealing
with difficult family members?

There is. In therapy, we have
something called "detachment,"

and that is when you get
off the roller coaster

of riding up and down over

what somebody else is
doing, or not doing,

or did, or didn't do.

Because the truth is

that I, I know I can't
control my family members,

and so, I cannot let their
chaos affect my life.

I don't buy it.

Look, you seem like a nice
lady and all, but detachment?

- Really? I mean, come on.
- Yeah.

That sounds like somethin' from
the marriage and family therapy

- industrial complex.
- Excuse me?

Y-You know, if you're detached,
that means that you want

the other person to change,
that you can stay the same.

See, I believe that
you should change,

that you should do
the work on yourself.

Well, I believe that
we can free ourselves

by giving people space to
make their own choices,

and not controlling
the outcomes.

And that's what I'm
doing in my family.

- And how do you do that?
- But... Well... But hold on a second.

If... But if you're willing
to be different, right,

then you don't
have to be distant.

So, uh, Paige, um,
how's your dad doin'?

Um, my dad is great.

You know, he did get arrested,
but the charges were dropped,

and so, he's-he's fine.

- Hm. Fine, huh?
- Yeah.

- What's your dad's name?
- Edwin.

- Yeah.
- Edwin.

How-How do you think

detachment feels to dear Edwin?

Dear Edwin feels...

- pretty messed up about that, Murph.
- What I do,

and it's a simple
thing that a lot...

...of people do, but take a
deep breath in, everybody.

And then, really
feel them right now.

Feel their anger.

You've reached Edwin Alexander.

Leave me a message.
Have a blessed day.

Feel their hurt.

I do think that sometimes when
it comes to generational trauma,

you need more than just basic

- meditation techniques.
- Oh, I agree with you. I agree with you.

- You need more than that.
- Yeah, yeah.

It... You need advanced
meditation techniques.

That's what I do.

Don't let this fool rattle you!

He don't know you!

I mean, not to trauma rank,

but does he have 9 out of 10
adverse childhood experiences?

No!

Then we can't hear him.

Now, wait a minute.
I saw your TED Talk.

- You did one, right? I did three.
- Yeah, I did...

Wasn't it about like,
what, being yourself

- or something, right?
- Yeah. Who you want to be.

Who you want to be.
That's it! Yeah.

Is this who you wanna be?

You wanna be detached
from your family?

- Is that what...
- That's not what I meant.

- Well, what does it mean?
- Um, I...

This is not about my family.

This is about our... the
families out there...

- Well, then...
- You know, 'cause we're fine. I'm fine.

When we come back, we'll
answer the question,

are skinny jeans really over?

Coming up after the break.

- Girl.
- Oh!

That was brutal.

Why are you here? I
talked to you about this.

I don't, I don't need you here.

You're... You need to go and
play and do little kid things.

I am an adult. I got this.

- Do you though?
- Yes!

I mean, I saw you up there,
sweating under those lights,

and I was like, "This
woman needs help."

But I don't. Okay? I'm-I'm good.

I'm doing things differently.

I'm not gonna let my
dad, or anybody else,

come into my life and
turn it upside down.

- That sounds good.
- Yes.

Too bad it's not gonna happen.

What?

Hey! Watch where you're going!

- Oh, shit!
- What the hell are you doing

going in my lane?

Serves you right!

That's what happens when
you're not paying attention!

We're fine. I'm fine.

- You're fine?
- I'm fine.

They made her look terrible,
but she also looks great.

As she does.

When they weren't making
her look so sweaty.

Yeah. Hey, go ahead.

Thanks, baby.

I was tryna stay away to
make things easier for her.

Seemed like it just
made things worse.

Oh, don't blame yourself, Edwin.

- Let Paige do it for you.
- Yeah, how 'bout that.

The thing is, you know,
I, I miss my grandson.

You know I taught him
how to nod, right?

Homeslice was goin' through
life noddin' down on everybody.

You know, you could see him, Edwin,
if you weren't so afraid of Paige.

- I ain't afraid of Paige.
- Mm-hm.

I wanna be able to
offer my grandson

more than him seeing me get
shoved down into a squad car.

I need space, Nadine, just to...

get my shit together.

No one should have to get their
shit together to be in a family.

Oh.

If you're willing to
be different, right,

- then you don't have to keep...
- Why is he attacking me?

Why? I went on that show
to try to help people.

Honestly, half of Minneapolis
probably is feeling better

about their family this morning.

Also, I did not tell my dad to
move out. He insisted on leaving.

- Mm.
- I mean, who writes a book called

Full Frontal Family Therapy?

I mean, except for the family
part, sounds kinda hot.

- You're missing the point.
- Okay.

The point is... Nah.

I have known Paige Alexander
for a very long time,

like cassette tapes long,

and she likes to think
she's always right.

And this morning, she's
wondering if that's true.

- Whose side are you on?
- Oh, I-I'm on the side of people...

...who grew up playing

Supreme Court Justice with you,

like that's even a game.

Oh, no! No!

My four o'clock just canceled.
This is the second one today.

What am I gonna do to fix this?

- I think I should do some kinda post.
- No, no, no, no, no. Ah-ah-ah.

You've done enough mass
communicating for one day.

But I'm losing clients.
I need to defend myself.

I have to stand up for myself.

Mm, some people need to
sit down for themselves.

- You're one of those.
- I am?

- Uh, Paige?
- Yes?

Know what I really wanna know?

What?

Where in the actual
fuck is your dad?

- Oh, shit.
- Stop, stop.

Finn. Finn.

- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
- Hey. Hey, hey. Now... You okay?

- I'm so sorry about the car, Grandpa.
- Don't worry 'bout the car.

I don't care about
the car. Come here.

There was a, there was a
biker, and he yelled at me,

and I swerved, and then I... you
know, now I crashed your car, so.

A car ain't nothin' but a
thing, man. Car can be fixed.

Hey.

- Thank you for coming.
- What you mean?

Well, I wasn't
sure if you would.

I'm sorry I haven't been
taking your calls, you hear?

Finn, I need to get
my life straight.

You know, I was
comin' to see you.

How'd you know where I was?

You know I like tracking people.

Well, I don't see any blood.

- Go on.
- Come here.

The car on the other hand,
looks like it already bled out.

Would you stop? Let's
go get him checked.

Come on.

- Oh, my God, honey!
- He's fine, Paige.

- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

Are you fine? Really?
Where were you going?

Why did you call
him instead of me?

- I was just trying to avoid all this.
- Avoid what?

You know, it's just, you
know, makin' a big deal.

I'm not making a big deal.
What are you... No, okay.

This is your fault.

This is you. Okay? You
taught him to drive.

You left the car,
you left the keys.

- You're blamin' me for this?
- Yes!

- Yeah. Alright.
- Oh, Nadine is here.

And you thought this
couldn't get any worse.

No, I knew it could get worse
because the last time I saw you,

you had just taken my child
to Hennepin County jail.

Luckily, I saw this great
segment this morning

- on Kris & Chris about family.
- Oh, wow.

- I learned so much.
- Nadine, Nadine.

Y'all stop.

Nadine gave us a
ride here, Paige.

She was just helpin', Mom.

- Okay.
- See?

Every once in a while,
I do something good.

No. Is this your one
good thing this year?

No, no, no! Uh-uh!
I'm different.

I'm off the roller coaster.
I'm gonna try this again.

Nadine, thank you.

Really, thank you so much.

Really appreciate it.
Means a lot. Thanks, Dad.

You're, uh... No problem.

He was just trying to
connect with me, Paige.

- That's all it was.
- I'm good. We're good.

We're in control
of our emotions.

She needs to get laid.

- You ain't in control of nothin'.
- Mm.

Finn, please, open up.

Finn.

- Hey.
- What?

- I've been knocking.
- I know.

Well, I just wanted to make sure
that you don't have a concussion.

- I don't.
- Well, are you sure?

Because the internet isn't.

And it turns out that
ignoring your mom

is, like, one of the
most common symptoms.

So, I'm just gonna look
in your eyes really quick.

Mom, I don't wanna talk to you.

But, Finn... you crashed a car.

We can't just not
talk about that.

What is going on with you?

He wouldn't pick up the phone,
and I thought he was mad at me.

Why would he be mad at you?

It's my fault he
got arrested. Stop!

Finn.

Your grandpa didn't have
to drive that night, 'kay?

He could've called me,
he could've called a cab.

I mean, apparently Nadine
does rideshare now.

He makes his own decisions.

- And now he's never coming back, so.
- No, no.

I think he's just figuring things
out, and he needs a minute.

And by a minute, I mean many,
many 60-second increments.

Not literal. But listen,
you can call him again

and maybe you guys can
have lunch and stuff.

I don't wanna just have lunch.

He should be living
here... you know, with us.

It felt better when he was here.

Yeah.

So, I've been your grandpa's
daughter for a little bit of time.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, and I think one

of the things that I'm learning,

is that letting go,
sometimes, is the only option.

So, I'm saying this
with so much love,

but knowing my dad,

I feel like you need to
learn to let go a little too.

Yeah, that's not me.

Okay, but you know, maybe you
could talk to somebody about that.

And... Like, somebody
other than me.

'Cause I'm a little bit
worried about your processing.

Can we be done now?

- Really?
- Yeah.

I... Okay.

♪ Dominate, dominate ♪

Do you mind if I
ask you a question?

You ain't gotta ask before
you ask somethin'. Just ask.

Sorry, I just... I-I've never been able
to talk to my dad about all of this.

- About all what?
- The drugs and the criminal activity.

- I don't do drugs.
- Oh, no, no.

I didn't mean to imply that you do.
I just, um... You sell them, right?

- You the Feds?
- No.

I'm just playin' with you.

Oh.

Look, I'm not out on the corner slangin'
packets, if that's what you mean.

Oh, no, obviously. But, um, uh, you
know, what, what exactly do you do?

And I'm not gonna tell anybody.

I just... I-I don't really
know this side of my dad.

Look, I supply to people
who supply to people

who supply to people
who stand on the corner.

Oh, so you're like a regional
vice president of sales?

Yeah. I like to consider
myself a businessman first.

- You funny.
- Am I?

But I just have
one more question.

Do you, um, do you ever think
about doing something different?

Uh, you know, less risky.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, all the time.

But the drugs bring
money, money brings power,

- power brings women and...
- And you wanna be loved.

- Bet.
- Yeah. Well, that's what we all want.

I mean, I also wanna diversify

my stock portfolio.

Okay. Do you know when,
uh, my dad will be back?

- What? Here?
- Yes. He's staying with you guys, right?

Nah. Your dad ain't tryin'
to fucks with all this.

Wait, that's what you thought?

You really don't
know him, do you?

What about your old associates?

What about 'em?

I mean, I imagine it might
be tempting to reach out,

with nowhere else to go.

Not at all, man.

I didn't serve all that time

just to get out and do the
same shit all over again.

Gettin' arrested that last time

brought that home to me on a
whole, a whole new level, man.

Of course, it did.

So, where you been stayin'?

Uh, thank you.

Uh, the Viking on Lake Street.

Oh, wow. I thought they
closed that place years ago.

Yeah... Probably should've.

I get a discount for
rentin' by the day...

not just the hour.

So... you're not gonna
ask me about Paige?

Matter of fact, no. I'm not.

You don't care how she's doin'?

I care, but I'm tryna do
somethin' I didn't do before.

Have boundaries. I
can't get personal.

Yeah, I got you.

So, your plan is?

Like I said, get a job. Get the
roux for my gumbo just right.

And figure out what in
the hell GPT-Chat is.

- Yeah?
- Life outside is hard, baby.

I ain't gon' lie.

So, you just decided to make it
more challenging by leaving again

and goin' it alone?

I can't go back to Paige.

I'm a burden there, man.

Okay, I... I can't really
talk to you about Paige

but I can talk to you about you,

and how the other side of being
a burden is being a support.

The only reason for
me to go back there

is because my grandson needs me.

But I gotta figure out how I can show up
for Finn in a way that's better than...

how I showed up for the woman you
tryin' so hard not to talk about.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Touché.

Yeah.

Thanks for meetin'
me, baby girl.

I'm not mad at you.

I almost wish you were.

I'm sittin' and
I'm lookin' at you,

and it feels to me like
you almost don't care.

Like you, like you
can't give a fuck.

Okay, I see how it
could look like that.

But I-I care. I ju... I think I'm just
being more realistic than I used to be.

- I mean, it is what it is.
- Now see, that right there,

that feels like you're
just givin' up, Paige.

Just, pfft.

Look, something is
going on with Finn.

- Okay.
- And I think that there is one thing

we could do about it,

but I know you
don't believe in it,

and honestly, I think
you're gonna say no,

which I totally understand,
actually, given the whole

marriage and family therapy
industrial complex...

I'll do it.

I'm talking about
family therapy.

You heard me, Paige.
I said I will go.

Really?

Yeah.

You'll talk to someone?

On one condition.

I get to pick the someone.

I normally start with,
"What brought you in today,"

but, uh, I already know.

That I crashed a car?

No, I saw you on TV.

You seem like a
straight shooter.

And that's what we need.

- Uh...
- Well, that "we" does not include me.

And he is not a doctor.

The term I prefer is, uh,
"family radical healing coach."

- See?
- And I have a PhD from Harvard.

Now, I could practice therapy
in the corporate world,

but... I choose to heal people.

You think you can heal us?

If that's what you want.

- Is that what you want?
- Yes, it is.

Because you have
to really want it.

Lotta people can't.
Lotta people don't dare.

Uh, I read your book. You
don't follow any of the rules

- of real therapy.
- What's "real therapy"?

Listen, I'm gonna give
it to you straight here.

You guys could spend thousands,

and years dick in' around tryin'
to figure out your own shit,

or I can just tell you
what you're doing wrong.

Your choice. And, uh,
I don't take insurance.

Because they won't cover you
because you say "dicking around."

Hm, and yet, you are here in
my office, sitting on my couch.

Why don't you just
see what I can do,

Paige? Huh?

You know what they say: "Don't
try harder, try different."

- Who says that?
- I do.

- Well, that's terrible grammar.
- Well, your family's on fire.

- Dumpster.
- Hey, um, can I just say,

I just want everybody
to be happy.

Yes, Edwin.

Yes. Very admirable,
Edwin. Very admirable.

Especially comin' from the guy who's
holding the gas can on all this.

And sometimes the matches.

- Can we get started now?
- Well, we've already started, jefe.

And you're doin' great.

And I was not about to keep
making the same mistake

over and over and over
again in front of my family.

Well, why not? The
rest of us have to.

I'll tell you why.

- Your ego.
- Oof.

Do you even know what
it means to be a man?

You're askin' me what
it means to be a man?

Yeah, yeah. It means
stepping the fuck up.

- Ooh, amen.
- Hold up, hold up.

I was trying to just get
my own shit to get...

- Your own shit, huh?
- My own shit.

Your own shit. What about,
uh, Paige and, and Finn?

What about their shit?

Men can be effective in families

and figure out their own
shit without leaving.

Hallelujah.

'Kay, well, my mom gets mad
at Grandpa for everything.

- No.
- Sure does.

- Everythang!
- No, no.

I, I am trying to protect you

from how unreliable he is.

That is bullshit.

- Hey!
- He said bullshit, and he's right.

Okay. Now, I'm willing to bet
that your son was struggling

- before your dad showed up.
- That's true.

- Facts. Facts.
- Paige, how do you account

for your son's
pain before Edwin?

- Yeah, I wanna hear this.
- Are you trying to turn this on me now?

No, I'm not trying.
I'm just turning this.

On you, yes, actually.

It's time for you to
start looking at you.

Mm-hm.

Try it.

Come on. Dig in a little bit.

You're a shrink.

- You can do it, right?
- Yes, yes.

- He wasn't there for me.
- He wasn't... Whoa, whoa, whoa,

that's not right. You.
I'm talkin' 'bout you.

Oh, he wasn't there for me.

- He was never there for me.
- Mm-hm.

And now he's delivering the
exact same experience to my son.

Good, good. Good, good.
Tell me something.

What would happen if you looked
your dad straight in the eye

and told him all that?

You weren't there for me.

You were never there for me.

And now I am watching you deliver
the exact same experience to my son.

Hello?

Where's the detachment
now? Right? Is it hiding?

Is it, i-is it behind the
pillow or under the couch?

No, it's not. You know
why? Because it was fake.

- You can't speak to me that way.
- Well, I just did.

You, you weren't detaching.
You were amputating.

You were cutting yourself
off from your father.

And you know who else you were
cutting yourself off from? You.

- Oh, wow.
- Amen.

It's time to do a little
work on yourself, Ms. Paige.

That's right. That's right.

- Come on.
- Whoa. Where you goin'?

Oh, you're leaving now?

Hold up. This was
your idea, baby girl.

You late for, uh, a-an
Instagram Live or something?

I am not going to sit down on myself.
And I'm not gonna sit down for myself.

I'm not gonna, I'm not
gonna sit, I'm not sitting!

I'm standing up for
myself, and I'm leaving.

And I will not be coming back here
again. Thank you very much, Doctor.

That was a great session.

Finn?!

Finn, Finn. Hi. Hi.

Knock, knock.

Here's what's gonna
happen right now.

- Okay.
- You're gonna say we need to talk.

I'm gonna pretend
like I don't hear you.

Then you're gonna ask
if everything's okay,

and I'm gonna say that I'm fine.

And then you're gonna get
that one look on your face,

the one where you're
all worried about me,

and then I'm gonna feel even
more anxious than I already do,

and then, you're
finally gonna leave,

and everything will be fine...

until we repeat the
whole thing tomorrow.

There. Saved us so much time.

No, no. Hey, hey, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hey, Finn. Finn.
Look, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I
walked out today.

Honey, I have been watching my
dad do what he does, to me...

my whole lifetime.

He went to therapy
like you wanted.

Yes, and he took
responsibility for nothing.

This is his fault, Finn.

And he just, you know,
he just can't admit it.

Okay, okay, okay.

So, let me get this straight.

You're saying that all your
problems are caused by Grandpa.

- Pretty much.
- Okay, then...

I guess that means all my
problems are caused by you.

Oh, my God.

Hey!

Can we talk?

Go 'head.

I think you need to come back.

Murphy was right.

I was pretending to be detached,

and you are isolating

because you don't like
when your ego looks bad.

- So, I think that we...
- Hey, baby. Stop, stop.

I can't keep feeling
like this... Paige.

That's all I know.

I-I can't, I can't do it, baby.

Well, I don't... Hey.

I don't wanna feel
this way either,

but that means that we
both have some work to do.

We need to change together.

Hey! Can you please
stop walking?!

We have to break the cycle.

- What do you think I'm tryna do, Paige?
- No, I know, I know.

But everything that we've done
so far to break the cycle,

it just keeps the cycle going,
and I need for it to end with us.

Okay, Dad, I'm
sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I made you
feel like I don't care

because I really do care.

I know that I can be really
hard on you sometimes.

I'm-I'm sorry. I will,
I will work on that.

That is me. That's my shit.

I'll do whatever I have
to do to make that better.

I'll even go to Murphy
if you want me to.

I just...

Please, just come home.

Woo-hoo!