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1
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:06,178
( Jack Jones' "The
Love Boat" playing )
2
00:00:12,764 --> 00:00:14,633
♪ Love ♪
3
00:00:16,439 --> 00:00:19,478
♪ Exciting and new ♪
4
00:00:20,449 --> 00:00:22,385
♪ Come aboard ♪
5
00:00:24,359 --> 00:00:28,245
♪ We're expecting you ♪
6
00:00:28,269 --> 00:00:30,806
♪ And love ♪
7
00:00:32,445 --> 00:00:36,431
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
8
00:00:36,455 --> 00:00:38,458
♪ Let it flow ♪
9
00:00:40,465 --> 00:00:44,451
♪ It floats back to you ♪
10
00:00:44,475 --> 00:00:48,095
♪ The Love Boat ♪
11
00:00:48,119 --> 00:00:50,033
♪ Soon we'll be making ♪
12
00:00:50,057 --> 00:00:53,074
♪ Another run ♪
13
00:00:53,098 --> 00:00:56,348
♪ The Love Boat ♪
14
00:00:56,372 --> 00:00:57,953
♪ Promises something ♪
15
00:00:57,977 --> 00:01:00,860
♪ For everyone ♪
16
00:01:00,884 --> 00:01:03,132
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
17
00:01:03,156 --> 00:01:07,098
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
18
00:01:09,238 --> 00:01:12,690
♪ And love ♪
19
00:01:12,714 --> 00:01:15,820
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
20
00:01:16,924 --> 00:01:20,876
♪ It's an open smile ♪
21
00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:24,886
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
22
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:27,381
♪ It's love ♪
23
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:33,665
♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪
24
00:01:38,812 --> 00:01:40,749
( upbeat theme playing )
25
00:02:04,275 --> 00:02:06,089
Who do we see
about the staterooms?
26
00:02:06,113 --> 00:02:07,092
That lady over there.
27
00:02:07,116 --> 00:02:09,687
Oh. Oh, come on, darling.
28
00:02:10,491 --> 00:02:11,938
Hello. Welcome aboard.
29
00:02:11,962 --> 00:02:13,107
Thank you. Thank you.
30
00:02:13,131 --> 00:02:14,242
My name is Wolfe
31
00:02:14,266 --> 00:02:15,781
and this is my wife
Anita. How do you do?
32
00:02:15,805 --> 00:02:17,185
And I'm... I'm Cyril Wolff.
33
00:02:17,209 --> 00:02:18,653
Well, hello. How do you do?
34
00:02:18,677 --> 00:02:19,925
Agh!
35
00:02:19,949 --> 00:02:22,263
Gotcha. Heh-heh.
36
00:02:22,287 --> 00:02:24,201
Cyril, you promised.
37
00:02:24,225 --> 00:02:25,805
Honey, I couldn't help myself.
38
00:02:25,829 --> 00:02:27,911
Oh, hey, that's okay, Mr. Wolfe.
39
00:02:27,935 --> 00:02:30,150
But I'm sorry, we're not
allowed to accept tips.
40
00:02:30,174 --> 00:02:32,655
Not even fingertips.
41
00:02:32,679 --> 00:02:34,627
( laughs )
42
00:02:34,651 --> 00:02:37,101
She's got a sense
of humor, I'll tell you.
43
00:02:37,125 --> 00:02:38,603
Hello, we're the Dickersons.
44
00:02:38,627 --> 00:02:40,642
Hello. Julie McCoy.
How do you do?
45
00:02:40,666 --> 00:02:41,880
I'd like you to meet the Wolfes.
46
00:02:41,904 --> 00:02:43,048
How do you do? How do you do?
47
00:02:43,072 --> 00:02:44,753
Uh, good meeting you, Reverend.
48
00:02:44,777 --> 00:02:45,756
( electric buzz )
49
00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:47,414
Gotcha. Heh-heh.
50
00:02:48,954 --> 00:02:51,336
Oh, no. Well, I never.
51
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,797
Oh, you ought
to try it sometime.
52
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:57,412
It's all right, my dear.
53
00:02:58,945 --> 00:02:59,987
All right.
54
00:03:01,451 --> 00:03:04,468
Look, honey, you only have
to put up with it for ten days.
55
00:03:04,492 --> 00:03:07,242
I've had it for 20 years.
56
00:03:07,266 --> 00:03:09,203
And I mean, had it.
57
00:03:15,754 --> 00:03:16,999
Gopher? Mm-hm?
58
00:03:17,023 --> 00:03:18,737
Could we get up a
little more speed?
59
00:03:18,761 --> 00:03:20,775
Let's try for at
least third gear.
60
00:03:20,799 --> 00:03:22,814
Oh, gee, I'm
sorry, Miss Mitchell.
61
00:03:22,838 --> 00:03:23,817
I... I thought with...
62
00:03:23,841 --> 00:03:25,722
Yes, I know. Everybody thinks.
63
00:03:25,746 --> 00:03:27,994
But as long as I have
to be in this thing,
64
00:03:28,018 --> 00:03:29,866
I may as well have some fun.
65
00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:31,403
Fun? Mm-hm.
66
00:03:31,427 --> 00:03:33,240
Okay.
67
00:03:33,264 --> 00:03:35,780
Gentlemen, start your engines.
68
00:03:35,804 --> 00:03:37,740
( imitates engine revving )
69
00:03:39,012 --> 00:03:40,324
( both laughing )
70
00:03:40,348 --> 00:03:42,362
Whoo!
71
00:03:42,386 --> 00:03:43,366
All right, pit stop here.
72
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,903
Uh, come on, you guys.
73
00:03:44,927 --> 00:03:46,841
Easy does it.
74
00:03:46,865 --> 00:03:48,078
There's one.
75
00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:49,079
There's two.
76
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,583
Whoo!
77
00:03:50,607 --> 00:03:51,586
Piece of cake.
78
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:53,291
Oh, wonderful. Oh, sir,
79
00:03:53,315 --> 00:03:54,526
I'd like you to meet...
80
00:03:54,550 --> 00:03:56,098
Uh, yes. I know, Gopher. I know.
81
00:03:56,122 --> 00:03:57,902
Miss Maureen Mitchell.
82
00:03:57,926 --> 00:04:00,708
I've been following your
tennis career for years.
83
00:04:00,732 --> 00:04:04,451
Last month Wimbledon, this
month the Indianapolis 500.
84
00:04:04,475 --> 00:04:06,045
( imitates engine )
85
00:04:08,219 --> 00:04:10,499
Uh, this is our captain,
Captain Stubing.
86
00:04:10,523 --> 00:04:11,602
How do you do?
87
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,841
Oh, fine, thank you.
Except in tennis.
88
00:04:13,865 --> 00:04:16,481
Actually my problem
is with my serve.
89
00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:18,153
Oh, what's wrong
with your serve?
90
00:04:18,177 --> 00:04:19,789
I keep missing the ball.
91
00:04:19,813 --> 00:04:21,494
( all laugh )
92
00:04:21,518 --> 00:04:23,265
Uh, I'll see you at
my table tonight.
93
00:04:23,289 --> 00:04:24,735
Okay.
94
00:04:24,759 --> 00:04:27,743
Okay, you said, uh, Cabin 342,
95
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,180
that's Promenade Deck.
96
00:04:29,204 --> 00:04:30,216
Uh, Gopher? Hm?
97
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,288
I can manage. I really can.
98
00:04:32,312 --> 00:04:35,094
Oh. Uh, well, okay. Thank you.
99
00:04:35,118 --> 00:04:37,099
Uh, it's... It's through
those doors and to the left.
100
00:04:37,123 --> 00:04:38,570
Okay. Thank you
very much, Gopher.
101
00:04:38,594 --> 00:04:40,597
Okay. Anytime. See you later.
102
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,621
( horn blares )
103
00:04:45,645 --> 00:04:48,116
( upbeat theme playing )
104
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:51,538
( mouths ): Bye.
105
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:05,737
Oh! Sorry. I... Well,
look who's here.
106
00:05:05,761 --> 00:05:07,776
And I thought this was
going to be a pleasure cruise.
107
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,280
Hello, Mitchell.
How's your back?
108
00:05:09,304 --> 00:05:10,650
None of your business.
109
00:05:10,674 --> 00:05:11,987
I'm sorry. I was only asking.
110
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:14,193
One rap in my column,
you're still sore, huh?
111
00:05:14,217 --> 00:05:16,064
Everybody has a bad day.
112
00:05:16,088 --> 00:05:19,539
Six-one, six-love
isn't a bad day,
113
00:05:19,563 --> 00:05:20,564
it's the pits.
114
00:05:21,769 --> 00:05:23,383
Boy, do I hate a sore loser.
115
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,089
Talk about your sore losers.
116
00:05:26,113 --> 00:05:27,091
How do you rate a guy
117
00:05:27,115 --> 00:05:29,398
who gets revenge
for a busted romance
118
00:05:29,422 --> 00:05:32,170
by taking cheap shots
with his typewriter?
119
00:05:32,194 --> 00:05:34,242
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
120
00:05:34,266 --> 00:05:35,935
So that's what you think, huh?
121
00:05:37,106 --> 00:05:38,286
Maureen, look,
122
00:05:38,310 --> 00:05:39,823
you and I had a
good thing going,
123
00:05:39,847 --> 00:05:41,461
and we blew it.
124
00:05:41,485 --> 00:05:44,802
But I don't let my personal
life affect my column.
125
00:05:44,826 --> 00:05:47,509
Who cares about your column?
126
00:05:47,533 --> 00:05:49,848
I use it for wrapping fish.
127
00:05:49,872 --> 00:05:53,021
Well, you keep playing the
way you did at Wimbledon
128
00:05:53,046 --> 00:05:55,384
and you may be
wrapping fish for a living.
129
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,372
( stammers )
130
00:05:59,396 --> 00:06:00,430
Mitchell...
131
00:06:02,837 --> 00:06:03,839
Hey.
132
00:06:06,547 --> 00:06:07,549
Get well soon.
133
00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,700
The game needs you.
134
00:06:10,724 --> 00:06:14,375
Hey, what's the matter
with you, Ballard?
135
00:06:14,399 --> 00:06:16,102
Getting human in your old age?
136
00:06:23,456 --> 00:06:24,490
( sighs )
137
00:06:33,882 --> 00:06:35,562
Oh, Anita, I don't know
why you're so mad.
138
00:06:35,586 --> 00:06:37,667
Everybody loves a dribble glass.
139
00:06:37,691 --> 00:06:40,407
Not when they're drinking
a $50 bottle of wine,
140
00:06:40,431 --> 00:06:41,710
they don't. ( scoffs )
141
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:45,320
I-I offered to buy the captain
a new uniform, didn't I?
142
00:06:45,344 --> 00:06:47,959
Will you just quit it?
143
00:06:47,983 --> 00:06:50,465
Honey, you don't...
You don't understand.
144
00:06:50,489 --> 00:06:52,036
I-I just can't help it.
145
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:54,108
I can't help it.
I-it's a sickness.
146
00:06:54,133 --> 00:06:56,147
I know they're childish
pranks: the water balloons,
147
00:06:56,171 --> 00:06:59,789
the itching powder,
even the plastic doody.
148
00:06:59,813 --> 00:07:02,663
Honey, I-I-I can't
stop it. I really can't.
149
00:07:02,687 --> 00:07:06,673
Inside me there's a real
joke just dying to get out.
150
00:07:06,697 --> 00:07:07,699
( screams )
151
00:07:09,036 --> 00:07:10,238
Oh!
152
00:07:12,511 --> 00:07:14,447
( upbeat theme playing )
153
00:07:19,027 --> 00:07:20,006
Thank you.
154
00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:21,041
( knock on door )
155
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,067
Yeah?
156
00:07:23,540 --> 00:07:24,784
GOPHER: Hi!
157
00:07:24,808 --> 00:07:28,026
Look who I found hot-rodding
down the passageway.
158
00:07:28,050 --> 00:07:30,799
Doc, say hi to Maureen Mitchell.
159
00:07:30,823 --> 00:07:32,570
Don't tell me, I know
why you're here.
160
00:07:32,594 --> 00:07:34,041
You want a lesson
on your backhand.
161
00:07:34,065 --> 00:07:35,311
You must have
seen my last match.
162
00:07:35,335 --> 00:07:36,447
( chuckles )
163
00:07:36,471 --> 00:07:37,451
Hi. I'm Adam Bricker.
164
00:07:37,475 --> 00:07:38,485
How do you do?
165
00:07:38,509 --> 00:07:40,323
I heard you were
on board. Welcome.
166
00:07:40,347 --> 00:07:42,128
You're not having
a problem, are you?
167
00:07:42,152 --> 00:07:43,799
Only with my chauffeur.
168
00:07:43,823 --> 00:07:46,339
He should have
his license revoked.
169
00:07:46,363 --> 00:07:48,043
I can take a hint.
170
00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,981
Call me if you need me, Maureen.
171
00:07:50,005 --> 00:07:51,752
"Miss Mitchell" to you.
172
00:07:51,776 --> 00:07:54,592
Keep in touch. Don't be strange.
173
00:07:54,616 --> 00:07:55,729
We'll have lunch.
174
00:07:55,753 --> 00:07:57,165
Bye.
175
00:07:57,189 --> 00:08:00,574
I promised my doctor I'd
give you my medical charts.
176
00:08:00,598 --> 00:08:02,961
Okay. Well, let's see.
177
00:08:03,306 --> 00:08:05,420
Oh, no. How about that?
178
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:07,659
Your orthopedist
is Earve Haywood?
179
00:08:07,683 --> 00:08:09,463
Mm-hm. You know him?
180
00:08:09,487 --> 00:08:11,936
Do I know him? We went
to med school together.
181
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,204
( laughing )
182
00:08:13,228 --> 00:08:15,278
Earve will stop at
nothing for a joke.
183
00:08:15,302 --> 00:08:18,073
One time we were
sharing this cadaver...
184
00:08:19,579 --> 00:08:21,994
Well, uh, maybe
that's for another time.
185
00:08:22,018 --> 00:08:24,166
Anyway, when you see
him again, please say hello.
186
00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:25,303
I will.
187
00:08:25,327 --> 00:08:27,206
In fact, when we get
back to Los Angeles,
188
00:08:27,230 --> 00:08:30,282
I'm taking a flight to Houston
so he can operate on me.
189
00:08:30,306 --> 00:08:32,185
Couldn't be in better
hands. ( knocking on door )
190
00:08:32,209 --> 00:08:33,757
On second thought,
don't say hello.
191
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,962
I'll call him myself.
192
00:08:35,986 --> 00:08:37,700
Oh, hi. Are you the doctor?
193
00:08:37,724 --> 00:08:39,237
Yeah, what happened?
194
00:08:39,262 --> 00:08:41,007
Uh, I think I sprained my knee.
195
00:08:41,031 --> 00:08:43,315
Oh. Here, get up here.
196
00:08:43,339 --> 00:08:45,275
( grunting )
197
00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:49,161
Is that sensitive?
198
00:08:49,185 --> 00:08:50,499
Not if it's his knee.
199
00:08:50,523 --> 00:08:51,869
( scoffs )
200
00:08:51,893 --> 00:08:53,741
Go bite a tennis ball.
201
00:08:53,765 --> 00:08:54,842
I gather you two have met?
202
00:08:54,866 --> 00:08:56,368
Unfortunately.
203
00:08:57,340 --> 00:09:00,323
Yeah, you're right
about that strain.
204
00:09:00,347 --> 00:09:02,562
Well, I'll tape it up for you,
205
00:09:02,586 --> 00:09:05,570
but you'll have to stay
off it for a couple of days.
206
00:09:05,594 --> 00:09:06,805
Well, how will I get around?
207
00:09:06,829 --> 00:09:07,809
In one of those.
208
00:09:07,833 --> 00:09:09,379
( lighthearted theme playing )
209
00:09:09,403 --> 00:09:10,515
Welcome to the club.
210
00:09:10,539 --> 00:09:12,253
Have to?
211
00:09:12,277 --> 00:09:14,157
Well, unless the lady
wants to give you a lift.
212
00:09:14,181 --> 00:09:16,864
Sorry, company policy.
213
00:09:16,888 --> 00:09:17,968
No hitchhikers.
214
00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,672
Ha-ha-ha.
215
00:09:19,696 --> 00:09:21,040
( grunts ) Let's
keep it straight.
216
00:09:21,064 --> 00:09:22,178
Let's just keep it straight.
217
00:09:22,202 --> 00:09:24,138
( majestic theme playing )
218
00:09:25,911 --> 00:09:28,293
( over speakers ): This is
Captain Stubing speaking.
219
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,264
We hope you've enjoyed
your day in Acapulco.
220
00:09:30,288 --> 00:09:31,868
We will be getting
under way for Mazatlán
221
00:09:31,892 --> 00:09:33,339
in just a few minutes.
222
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,712
WOMAN ( with Mexican accent
): Hey, hey, hey. Look, look.
223
00:09:35,736 --> 00:09:37,215
Souvenir? You
wanna buy souvenir?
224
00:09:37,239 --> 00:09:38,819
Souvenir, everybody.
225
00:09:38,843 --> 00:09:41,025
Last chance. Last opportunity.
226
00:09:41,049 --> 00:09:42,984
( horn blares )
227
00:09:44,123 --> 00:09:46,872
Mister, mister, want
a beautiful souvenir?
228
00:09:46,896 --> 00:09:48,143
Uh, miss, you better get ashore.
229
00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:49,379
We're about ready to shove off.
230
00:09:49,404 --> 00:09:50,381
Already?
231
00:09:50,406 --> 00:09:51,418
( sighs )
232
00:09:51,442 --> 00:09:54,693
Gee, time fly and
business is terrible.
233
00:09:54,717 --> 00:09:56,698
But I don't know what
my family gonna do.
234
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:57,934
Oh, your family, huh?
235
00:09:57,958 --> 00:09:59,069
Mm-hm.
236
00:09:59,093 --> 00:10:00,907
I help to support all of them.
237
00:10:00,931 --> 00:10:02,178
All of them?
238
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,148
All my brother and
sister. Seventeen of them.
239
00:10:04,172 --> 00:10:05,953
Seventeen? What
does your father do?
240
00:10:05,977 --> 00:10:07,090
I just told you.
241
00:10:07,114 --> 00:10:08,928
( laughs )
242
00:10:08,952 --> 00:10:10,598
Hey, why don't
you buy everything
243
00:10:10,622 --> 00:10:11,736
and help me out?
244
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,974
Ah, well, miss, uh,
245
00:10:13,998 --> 00:10:16,246
you know, I've bought so
many Mexican souvenirs,
246
00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:17,850
I could open my own shop.
247
00:10:17,874 --> 00:10:19,085
Now, I have to go above
248
00:10:19,109 --> 00:10:21,392
and act like I know
what I'm doing.
249
00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:23,263
Okay. I'll be seeing you.
250
00:10:23,287 --> 00:10:25,223
( upbeat theme playing )
251
00:11:00,915 --> 00:11:03,051
America, here I come!
252
00:11:07,766 --> 00:11:09,702
( upbeat theme playing )
253
00:11:15,417 --> 00:11:17,721
( speaking indistinctly )
254
00:11:19,829 --> 00:11:21,431
( whispers ): You
see what I see?
255
00:11:22,670 --> 00:11:23,804
I saw it first.
256
00:11:28,317 --> 00:11:32,402
Wait a minute, I know that foot.
257
00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:33,405
( laughs )
258
00:11:33,429 --> 00:11:34,408
Good morning.
259
00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:35,444
( laughs )
260
00:11:35,468 --> 00:11:37,181
Morning. Morning, sir.
261
00:11:37,205 --> 00:11:38,551
GOPHER: Well, sir, uh,
262
00:11:38,575 --> 00:11:41,190
evidently somebody
lost this $100 bill.
263
00:11:41,214 --> 00:11:42,995
And, uh, Julie and I
were just gonna return it
264
00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:43,998
to the lost and found.
265
00:11:44,022 --> 00:11:45,023
Right.
266
00:11:45,994 --> 00:11:47,407
I'll take care of it.
267
00:11:47,431 --> 00:11:49,769
( laughing )
268
00:11:51,307 --> 00:11:53,857
Oh, captain, I'm so sorry.
269
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:56,396
I'm afraid this is
just another one
270
00:11:56,420 --> 00:11:59,571
of my husband's
stupid practical jokes.
271
00:11:59,596 --> 00:12:01,196
Oh. Him again, hm?
272
00:12:03,136 --> 00:12:05,306
I'll teach him a lesson.
273
00:12:06,879 --> 00:12:08,559
So will I.
274
00:12:08,583 --> 00:12:12,558
Thank you... for
the Christmas fund.
275
00:12:13,931 --> 00:12:15,867
( mellow theme playing )
276
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,549
Damn.
277
00:12:34,081 --> 00:12:36,029
A.J. White you're not.
278
00:12:36,053 --> 00:12:37,989
Point, Miss Mitchell.
279
00:12:46,277 --> 00:12:47,358
You have to back it on.
280
00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:49,116
Oh.
281
00:13:01,515 --> 00:13:02,929
You need some help?
282
00:13:02,953 --> 00:13:04,967
Yes.
283
00:13:04,991 --> 00:13:06,337
Yes, I sort of feel
like one of those
284
00:13:06,361 --> 00:13:09,010
busted shopping carts
that keeps turning in circles.
285
00:13:09,034 --> 00:13:10,448
You must be right-handed.
286
00:13:10,472 --> 00:13:11,450
What?
287
00:13:11,474 --> 00:13:12,486
If you're right-handed,
288
00:13:12,510 --> 00:13:14,290
you push more
on the right wheel,
289
00:13:14,314 --> 00:13:16,677
causing it to veer to the left.
290
00:13:18,191 --> 00:13:19,169
That makes sense.
291
00:13:19,193 --> 00:13:21,129
Hm.
292
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,616
I'm a whiz with wheelchairs.
293
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,683
It's sports writers
that I can't handle.
294
00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:30,230
What do you say we call time-out
295
00:13:30,254 --> 00:13:31,255
and talk it over?
296
00:13:37,371 --> 00:13:39,308
( upbeat theme playing )
297
00:13:52,710 --> 00:13:54,324
You know, the
passengers really love it
298
00:13:54,348 --> 00:13:55,694
when the crew
members get together
299
00:13:55,718 --> 00:13:57,766
and put on a show.
300
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,268
And if you do something...
301
00:13:59,292 --> 00:14:02,744
Miss McCoy, I am
the captain of this ship,
302
00:14:02,769 --> 00:14:04,950
not Soupy Sales.
303
00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:06,955
It is important that
I conduct myself
304
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:09,428
in a manner that
commands respect.
305
00:14:09,452 --> 00:14:10,998
I don't sing, I don't dance
306
00:14:11,022 --> 00:14:12,904
and I don't tell jokes.
307
00:14:12,928 --> 00:14:15,978
I guess juggling
oranges is out too.
308
00:14:16,002 --> 00:14:18,283
One word was right:
309
00:14:18,307 --> 00:14:19,308
out.
310
00:14:20,279 --> 00:14:21,849
Right.
311
00:14:25,492 --> 00:14:26,905
Oh, can I make
up your cabin now,
312
00:14:26,929 --> 00:14:27,908
Captain Stubing?
313
00:14:27,932 --> 00:14:28,910
Yes, go right ahead.
314
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,870
WOMAN'S VOICE: Oh...
315
00:14:34,447 --> 00:14:36,383
( woman groaning )
316
00:14:37,489 --> 00:14:39,268
( sighing )
317
00:14:39,292 --> 00:14:41,229
( lighthearted theme playing )
318
00:14:43,571 --> 00:14:45,151
Do you make up
everybody's bed this way,
319
00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:46,287
or just mine?
320
00:14:46,311 --> 00:14:48,458
Well, I don't know
how she got in there.
321
00:14:48,482 --> 00:14:51,365
I can't be expected to
check under every bed sheet.
322
00:14:51,389 --> 00:14:52,835
I got a million and
one things to do,
323
00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:54,073
all these cabins to make up
324
00:14:54,097 --> 00:14:55,779
and towels and sheets to clean.
325
00:14:57,304 --> 00:14:59,151
Well?
326
00:14:59,175 --> 00:15:01,692
Well, I got in myself.
327
00:15:01,716 --> 00:15:04,566
I'm guilty. I'm also sick.
328
00:15:04,590 --> 00:15:07,740
Oh, just what I
needed: a stowaway.
329
00:15:07,764 --> 00:15:09,243
Stowaway!
330
00:15:09,267 --> 00:15:10,982
Stowaway. You need a stowaway?
331
00:15:11,006 --> 00:15:12,586
Oh, I'm lucky, lucky.
332
00:15:12,610 --> 00:15:13,588
Ah!
333
00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:14,892
( laughs )
334
00:15:14,916 --> 00:15:16,562
Please, please, I'm the captain.
335
00:15:16,586 --> 00:15:18,067
Um, what's your name?
336
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,102
Well, my name is
337
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:21,775
Algolina Patricia
Ruiz Inex Lopez.
338
00:15:21,799 --> 00:15:24,749
It is A-P-R-I-L.
339
00:15:24,773 --> 00:15:27,122
Everybody in
Acapulco call me April.
340
00:15:27,146 --> 00:15:29,261
Well, welcome aboard, April.
341
00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:30,731
Uh...? Thank you.
342
00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,135
Thank you. I, uh...
343
00:15:32,159 --> 00:15:35,276
I mean, uh, why don't we
help her out of the laundry?
344
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:36,745
( dramatic theme
playing ) ( grunts )
345
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:37,771
Yes.
346
00:15:43,521 --> 00:15:45,134
I'll come back later
347
00:15:45,158 --> 00:15:47,540
when you don't
have your hands full.
348
00:15:47,564 --> 00:15:48,542
( upbeat theme playing )
349
00:15:48,566 --> 00:15:50,502
( speaking in Spanish)
350
00:15:53,947 --> 00:15:56,362
Ladies. Gracias.
351
00:15:56,386 --> 00:15:58,000
I'm in trouble, no?
352
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,438
You're in trouble, yes.
353
00:16:00,462 --> 00:16:03,714
What you've done
is against the law.
354
00:16:03,738 --> 00:16:05,105
I'm really sick.
355
00:16:06,811 --> 00:16:08,692
Captain, please don't punish me.
356
00:16:08,716 --> 00:16:10,530
Oh, don't make
me walk the plank.
357
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:13,572
Ooh, I'm so allergic
to... To sharks.
358
00:16:13,596 --> 00:16:15,175
They make me break
out in tooth marks.
359
00:16:15,199 --> 00:16:16,445
( speaks indistinctly )
360
00:16:16,469 --> 00:16:18,750
We'll have to put you
ashore at the next stop.
361
00:16:18,774 --> 00:16:19,753
( gasps )
362
00:16:19,777 --> 00:16:21,290
Whoopee! Yippee!
363
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,293
( strums guitar chord )
364
00:16:22,317 --> 00:16:24,365
♪ I like to live in America ♪
365
00:16:24,389 --> 00:16:26,537
♪ Okay by me in America ♪
366
00:16:26,561 --> 00:16:28,942
♪ Everything free in America ♪
367
00:16:28,966 --> 00:16:30,613
♪ Sock it to me ♪
368
00:16:30,637 --> 00:16:33,087
I'm going to America.
369
00:16:33,111 --> 00:16:34,113
Olé.
370
00:16:35,784 --> 00:16:37,364
Captain, I think
you'd better explain
371
00:16:37,388 --> 00:16:39,591
that our next stop is Mazatlán.
372
00:16:40,996 --> 00:16:43,513
Uh, do you know you're
getting off at Mazatlán?
373
00:16:43,537 --> 00:16:44,970
Sure.
374
00:16:46,677 --> 00:16:49,360
♪ You are getting
off At Mazatlán... ♪
375
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,630
No, no, no, no, look,
376
00:16:50,654 --> 00:16:52,568
young lady, you are a stowaway.
377
00:16:52,592 --> 00:16:54,307
I can't take you to America.
378
00:16:54,331 --> 00:16:56,545
You are getting
off at the next stop.
379
00:16:56,569 --> 00:16:59,185
Oh, please, don't
make the next stop.
380
00:16:59,209 --> 00:17:00,455
That way you won't have to worry
381
00:17:00,479 --> 00:17:02,059
and pick up anymore stowaways.
382
00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:04,165
Captain, take me
to America. Please.
383
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,868
I have to go to America.
384
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:08,040
Uh, I tell you what,
when we are there
385
00:17:08,065 --> 00:17:09,310
I get lost. I promise.
386
00:17:09,334 --> 00:17:11,014
I even will help
you to throw me off.
387
00:17:11,038 --> 00:17:12,017
Please?
388
00:17:12,041 --> 00:17:13,922
I want to be in show business.
389
00:17:13,946 --> 00:17:14,923
Real bad.
390
00:17:14,947 --> 00:17:18,255
Sorry, your cruise
ends at Mazatlán.
391
00:17:20,196 --> 00:17:22,131
( phone rings )
392
00:17:24,872 --> 00:17:26,153
Heartbreak Hotel.
393
00:17:26,177 --> 00:17:28,525
If you're a blonde,
I'm available.
394
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:30,118
What if I'm bald?
395
00:17:31,957 --> 00:17:33,103
Sir. Captain.
396
00:17:33,127 --> 00:17:34,106
Hi.
397
00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:35,710
Come to my quarters immediately.
398
00:17:35,734 --> 00:17:37,113
I have a young woman
I want you to take
399
00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:38,116
to see Dr. Bricker.
400
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,820
Oh, he'll like that.
401
00:17:39,844 --> 00:17:42,058
On the double.
402
00:17:42,082 --> 00:17:44,265
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
403
00:17:44,289 --> 00:17:46,203
On the double.
404
00:17:46,227 --> 00:17:48,163
( upbeat theme playing )
405
00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:04,548
Hi, doc.
406
00:18:04,572 --> 00:18:05,551
This is April.
407
00:18:05,575 --> 00:18:07,623
Well,
408
00:18:07,647 --> 00:18:09,662
I can't wait to see
the rest of the year.
409
00:18:09,686 --> 00:18:10,864
( sighs )
410
00:18:10,888 --> 00:18:14,139
Oh... What seems
to be the problem?
411
00:18:14,164 --> 00:18:16,811
It my stomach. It feel
like a roller coaster.
412
00:18:16,835 --> 00:18:19,986
It go ups, it go down.
It go ups, it go down.
413
00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:22,360
It go ups and down.
414
00:18:22,384 --> 00:18:24,732
Yeah, what you need is
something for seasickness.
415
00:18:24,756 --> 00:18:26,436
I already got seasickness.
416
00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:28,708
What I want is
something to make it stop.
417
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,446
Well, a funny patient.
418
00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:32,618
That's why we brought
her to a joke doctor.
419
00:18:32,642 --> 00:18:34,390
Hm.
420
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,626
Take these.
421
00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:38,031
What is this?
422
00:18:38,055 --> 00:18:40,178
Looks like pills to me.
423
00:18:40,762 --> 00:18:41,942
Take them.
424
00:18:41,966 --> 00:18:44,314
Now go back to your
stateroom and lie down.
425
00:18:44,338 --> 00:18:47,042
Doc, this is her stateroom.
426
00:18:48,248 --> 00:18:49,895
April's a stowaway
and Captain Stubing
427
00:18:49,919 --> 00:18:50,897
wants her kept here.
428
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:57,314
You mean he wants
her kept here with me?
429
00:18:57,338 --> 00:18:58,583
Any complaints?
430
00:18:58,607 --> 00:19:00,287
Yeah. Three's a crowd.
431
00:19:00,311 --> 00:19:01,378
Doc, remember,
432
00:19:02,617 --> 00:19:04,130
she's in your hands.
433
00:19:04,154 --> 00:19:05,735
Just like Allstate.
434
00:19:05,759 --> 00:19:07,873
I didn't say "good hands."
435
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,261
Gopher, let's get
together. We'll have lunch.
436
00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:13,353
Hi.
437
00:19:13,377 --> 00:19:15,313
( majestic theme playing )
438
00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:21,273
Why did we have to
eat in here tonight?
439
00:19:21,297 --> 00:19:23,010
You kidding? Ha.
440
00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:24,415
After what you
did to the waiter,
441
00:19:24,439 --> 00:19:27,120
I can't even show my face
in the dining room again.
442
00:19:27,144 --> 00:19:29,426
Well, all I did was to tie
his shoelaces together.
443
00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:30,963
Oh, Cyril.
444
00:19:30,987 --> 00:19:32,067
Can't help it.
445
00:19:32,091 --> 00:19:33,569
Said I was sorry.
446
00:19:33,594 --> 00:19:34,940
I even helped him
pick the linguine
447
00:19:34,964 --> 00:19:36,444
out of his toupee.
448
00:19:36,468 --> 00:19:39,285
Oh, you always apologize
449
00:19:39,309 --> 00:19:42,258
and then you do the
same thing over again.
450
00:19:42,283 --> 00:19:45,333
Honey, honey, it's
not easy for a man,
451
00:19:45,357 --> 00:19:46,369
you know, to... To... To...
452
00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:48,274
To break the
habits of a lifetime.
453
00:19:48,299 --> 00:19:50,234
Not easy at all.
454
00:19:51,573 --> 00:19:52,575
Understand?
455
00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:57,162
I'm telling you, Cyril,
456
00:19:57,186 --> 00:19:59,301
you better start
breaking some habits
457
00:19:59,325 --> 00:20:01,205
or you're gonna end
up with a new one:
458
00:20:01,229 --> 00:20:03,780
writing alimony checks.
459
00:20:03,804 --> 00:20:05,985
Anita, darling, I'm
trying, I'm trying.
460
00:20:06,009 --> 00:20:07,756
I'm warning you, Cyril.
461
00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:09,627
This is your last chance!
462
00:20:09,651 --> 00:20:11,197
Uh, please, Anita,
d-don't sit there.
463
00:20:11,221 --> 00:20:12,534
Don't... Don't...
Don't sit there.
464
00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:13,838
Uh, sit over there.
465
00:20:13,862 --> 00:20:17,045
( laughs ): Oh, no you don't.
466
00:20:17,069 --> 00:20:19,707
I'm not falling for
that old chestnut.
467
00:20:23,184 --> 00:20:24,531
That's it!
468
00:20:24,555 --> 00:20:26,369
I'm getting out
of this marriage!
469
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,471
I sai... I said...
470
00:20:27,495 --> 00:20:28,842
I said don't sit
there. ( sighs )
471
00:20:28,866 --> 00:20:30,045
Anita, darling, you...
472
00:20:30,069 --> 00:20:31,883
Please, you've gotta
give me one more chance.
473
00:20:31,907 --> 00:20:33,921
If I give you one more chance,
474
00:20:33,945 --> 00:20:36,828
I'll end up in intensive care!
475
00:20:36,852 --> 00:20:38,733
( groaning ): No! No!
476
00:20:38,757 --> 00:20:40,371
I'll help. You've
put on weight, dear.
477
00:20:40,395 --> 00:20:41,707
You... You...
You've put on weight.
478
00:20:41,731 --> 00:20:42,710
Oh!
479
00:20:42,734 --> 00:20:44,670
( mellow music playing in room )
480
00:20:47,311 --> 00:20:49,794
I've got to remember
the 99 times out of 100
481
00:20:49,818 --> 00:20:51,465
that this operation
is successful.
482
00:20:51,489 --> 00:20:52,468
Mm-hm. I mean, the idea
483
00:20:52,492 --> 00:20:53,738
of never walking again is...
484
00:20:53,762 --> 00:20:56,511
Well, I have the feeling
that I will be getting you
485
00:20:56,535 --> 00:20:59,886
six pairs of adidas
on your next birthday.
486
00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:01,055
You know something, Ballard?
487
00:21:01,079 --> 00:21:02,057
Hm?
488
00:21:02,081 --> 00:21:04,197
I've missed you.
489
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:05,744
I've missed you too, Maureen.
490
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,805
( talking inaudibly )
491
00:21:13,477 --> 00:21:14,589
Good evening.
492
00:21:14,613 --> 00:21:15,726
Good evening, captain. Hi.
493
00:21:15,750 --> 00:21:16,961
Hello, Julie. Hi.
494
00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:18,866
I hope you'll forgive
me for not standing.
495
00:21:18,890 --> 00:21:20,369
I am sorry to hear
about what happened
496
00:21:20,393 --> 00:21:21,674
to your knee, Mr. Ballard.
497
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:23,210
Well, as it turns out,
498
00:21:23,234 --> 00:21:26,018
it's one of the nicest
things that happened to me.
499
00:21:26,042 --> 00:21:29,828
Captain, I think these
people would like to be alone.
500
00:21:29,852 --> 00:21:32,701
Mm. Well, I bet that's why
they picked a table for two...
501
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,204
Mm-hm. Miss McCoy.
502
00:21:34,228 --> 00:21:35,642
MAUREEN: Please excuse me.
503
00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:37,646
I have to get back on
duty. Well, good evening
504
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:40,154
and thank you very much.
( all talking indistinctly )
505
00:21:41,580 --> 00:21:43,517
( both clearing throats )
506
00:21:47,328 --> 00:21:49,264
( whispers ): Come here. Mm-hm.
507
00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:52,249
What ever happened to us?
508
00:21:52,273 --> 00:21:53,854
I don't know, maybe we were just
509
00:21:53,878 --> 00:21:56,059
too busy being stars. Oh, I see.
510
00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:58,398
Your getting headlines
and my dreaming them up.
511
00:21:58,422 --> 00:21:59,601
That kind of thing? Mm-hm.
512
00:21:59,625 --> 00:22:01,305
We were always going
to take that month off
513
00:22:01,329 --> 00:22:02,543
and just bum around together.
514
00:22:02,567 --> 00:22:04,380
Yeah, I do... I
remember, all right.
515
00:22:04,404 --> 00:22:06,084
We never could
find that month off,
516
00:22:06,108 --> 00:22:07,387
could we? Mm-mm.
517
00:22:07,411 --> 00:22:09,058
March. Out.
518
00:22:09,082 --> 00:22:10,896
Virginia Slims
tournament. Mm-hm.
519
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,034
April. Baseball season opening.
520
00:22:13,058 --> 00:22:14,237
Mm-hm. May?
521
00:22:14,261 --> 00:22:15,307
Davis Cup.
522
00:22:15,331 --> 00:22:16,309
Yeah. June.
523
00:22:16,333 --> 00:22:17,312
BOTH: Wimbledon.
524
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,314
Yes, I know. Mm-hm.
525
00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:20,755
Well, still, with
all that, though,
526
00:22:20,779 --> 00:22:23,729
we, uh...
527
00:22:23,753 --> 00:22:25,934
We did manage to grab a
few interesting moments.
528
00:22:25,958 --> 00:22:27,538
( laughs ): Didn't we?
( laughs ): Mm-hm.
529
00:22:27,562 --> 00:22:30,445
It added up to about, uh,
one very long weekend.
530
00:22:30,469 --> 00:22:31,648
Mm.
531
00:22:31,672 --> 00:22:34,109
And even that, we
wasted half of it fighting.
532
00:22:35,983 --> 00:22:38,599
I'd rather remember
the other half.
533
00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:41,060
I'd like to do more
than remember.
534
00:22:42,231 --> 00:22:44,748
What do we do, lock wheels?
535
00:22:44,772 --> 00:22:46,619
Just you wait till I get
out of this contraption,
536
00:22:46,643 --> 00:22:47,956
John Ballard.
537
00:22:47,980 --> 00:22:49,916
Okay.
538
00:22:51,321 --> 00:22:54,906
Till then, to tennis.
539
00:22:54,930 --> 00:22:58,381
Oh, to typewriters.
540
00:22:58,405 --> 00:23:00,053
To true love.
541
00:23:00,077 --> 00:23:01,724
May the last come first.
542
00:23:01,748 --> 00:23:03,684
I'll drink to that.
543
00:23:10,035 --> 00:23:11,971
( majestic theme playing )
544
00:23:14,045 --> 00:23:16,093
No way, Gopher.
I'm not gonna do it.
545
00:23:16,117 --> 00:23:17,630
What do you mean,
you're not gonna do it?
546
00:23:17,654 --> 00:23:19,233
You can't do that not-do-it.
547
00:23:19,257 --> 00:23:20,270
What are you talking about?
548
00:23:20,294 --> 00:23:21,807
The cruise show.
He's backing out.
549
00:23:21,831 --> 00:23:22,942
You can't do that.
550
00:23:22,966 --> 00:23:24,012
That's what I said.
551
00:23:24,036 --> 00:23:25,482
Isaac, I'm counting on you.
552
00:23:25,506 --> 00:23:27,152
( laughs )
553
00:23:27,176 --> 00:23:28,757
You owe me, man.
554
00:23:28,781 --> 00:23:30,228
I saved your life.
555
00:23:30,252 --> 00:23:31,596
I pulled you out of the water.
556
00:23:31,621 --> 00:23:34,538
I was in the swimming
pool, floating on my back.
557
00:23:34,562 --> 00:23:35,909
A technicality.
558
00:23:35,933 --> 00:23:37,012
All right.
559
00:23:37,036 --> 00:23:38,816
Flip a coin. Only
way. No, Gopher.
560
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:39,852
I'm not... Flip a coin.
561
00:23:39,876 --> 00:23:41,389
You're not gonna get... Heads.
562
00:23:41,413 --> 00:23:42,391
You lose.
563
00:23:42,415 --> 00:23:43,729
Two out of three.
564
00:23:43,753 --> 00:23:45,198
Wait till you see this act.
565
00:23:45,222 --> 00:23:46,502
We'll kill them.
566
00:23:46,526 --> 00:23:47,739
Yeah? What are you gonna do?
567
00:23:47,763 --> 00:23:49,710
Oh, surprise. Right, buddy?
568
00:23:49,735 --> 00:23:50,746
( chuckles )
569
00:23:50,770 --> 00:23:52,083
That's all I need
on this cruise:
570
00:23:52,107 --> 00:23:53,821
another surprise.
571
00:23:53,845 --> 00:23:56,192
Oh yeah, I hear
we got a stowaway.
572
00:23:56,216 --> 00:23:57,195
Mm.
573
00:23:57,219 --> 00:23:58,666
You ought to see her.
574
00:23:58,690 --> 00:24:02,441
Whew! Mm. Mm, tell me about her.
575
00:24:02,465 --> 00:24:04,145
Will you two quit carrying on?
576
00:24:04,169 --> 00:24:07,186
She's a very
sweet, innocent girl.
577
00:24:07,210 --> 00:24:08,757
If she hangs around
Doc long enough,
578
00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:09,894
she won't be.
579
00:24:09,918 --> 00:24:11,530
She's staying in Doc's cabin.
580
00:24:11,554 --> 00:24:12,835
That dog. I love it.
581
00:24:12,859 --> 00:24:14,840
( Gopher and Isaac laugh )
582
00:24:14,864 --> 00:24:17,211
( knocking on door )
583
00:24:17,235 --> 00:24:19,638
( Bricker and April laughing )
584
00:24:29,366 --> 00:24:31,949
Julie, what are you
doing here so late?
585
00:24:31,973 --> 00:24:35,122
I just thought I'd
pop by and say hi.
586
00:24:35,146 --> 00:24:36,392
Oh.
587
00:24:36,416 --> 00:24:37,495
Hi.
588
00:24:37,519 --> 00:24:39,634
Hi.
589
00:24:39,658 --> 00:24:43,142
Hi... Uh, where's April?
590
00:24:43,166 --> 00:24:44,279
Thought I'd say hi to her too.
591
00:24:44,303 --> 00:24:46,384
( laughs ) She's,
uh, in my cabin.
592
00:24:46,408 --> 00:24:48,924
We were just
getting ready for bed.
593
00:24:48,948 --> 00:24:52,599
Uh, yeah, you
know, I was thinking...
594
00:24:52,623 --> 00:24:54,772
Well, doc, here you go.
595
00:24:54,796 --> 00:24:56,243
Oh, hi, Miss Julie.
596
00:24:56,267 --> 00:24:59,216
Hi. Thanks, April.
597
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,254
I hope you don't get
crickets in your back,
598
00:25:01,278 --> 00:25:03,427
uh, sleeping on this thing.
599
00:25:03,451 --> 00:25:05,119
Rest in peace.
600
00:25:07,896 --> 00:25:08,897
Okay?
601
00:25:09,768 --> 00:25:12,016
Okay.
602
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,163
( as April ): Rust in peace.
603
00:25:16,617 --> 00:25:18,553
( upbeat theme playing )
604
00:25:28,882 --> 00:25:32,566
Doc... Doc... Wake up.
605
00:25:32,590 --> 00:25:33,970
I have to talk to you.
606
00:25:33,994 --> 00:25:35,206
Oh, are you in luck,
607
00:25:35,230 --> 00:25:36,643
the patient who
had the appointment
608
00:25:36,667 --> 00:25:38,681
for this hour just cancelled.
609
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:39,952
Hey, get up.
610
00:25:39,976 --> 00:25:41,689
There is something
we have to disgust.
611
00:25:41,713 --> 00:25:46,167
Okay. Start disgusting.
612
00:25:46,191 --> 00:25:48,740
Are you like this
all the way down?
613
00:25:48,764 --> 00:25:52,116
No, at the waist I
branch out into legs.
614
00:25:52,140 --> 00:25:54,754
Please, relax.
What's on your mind?
615
00:25:54,778 --> 00:25:58,331
Tomorrow they are going to
put me ashore in Mazatlán.
616
00:25:58,355 --> 00:25:59,869
I'm so scared.
617
00:25:59,893 --> 00:26:01,171
When you get off at Mazatlán,
618
00:26:01,195 --> 00:26:02,708
nothing's gonna happen to you.
619
00:26:02,732 --> 00:26:06,150
Well, you'll get on a bus and
go right back to your family.
620
00:26:06,174 --> 00:26:07,487
My family.
621
00:26:07,511 --> 00:26:09,124
How can I go to my family?
622
00:26:09,148 --> 00:26:10,494
I let them down.
623
00:26:10,518 --> 00:26:12,968
April, don't be so
hard on yourself.
624
00:26:12,992 --> 00:26:15,239
You're doing the best you can.
625
00:26:15,263 --> 00:26:19,083
So far, my best turns
out to be the worst.
626
00:26:19,107 --> 00:26:21,845
What should I do?
627
00:26:23,517 --> 00:26:26,835
You keep on trying,
that's what you do.
628
00:26:26,859 --> 00:26:29,642
And I'm betting
on you to make it.
629
00:26:29,666 --> 00:26:31,646
You cure me again, doc.
630
00:26:31,670 --> 00:26:34,142
You turn my frown upside down.
631
00:26:35,714 --> 00:26:38,397
Oh...
632
00:26:38,421 --> 00:26:41,071
now I know what the
wart prince means.
633
00:26:41,095 --> 00:26:43,631
I've gotta get you
a better dictionary.
634
00:26:45,839 --> 00:26:47,775
( upbeat theme playing )
635
00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:09,876
Now, you take good
care of yourself now, April.
636
00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:11,246
Don't worry about
me, Miss Julie.
637
00:27:11,270 --> 00:27:12,382
I'll be all right.
638
00:27:12,406 --> 00:27:15,122
April, if they really
wanted to beautify America,
639
00:27:15,146 --> 00:27:16,459
they'd let you in.
640
00:27:16,483 --> 00:27:17,896
Thank you, Gopher.
641
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,202
Stay cool, April.
642
00:27:21,161 --> 00:27:22,307
So long, kid.
643
00:27:22,331 --> 00:27:26,051
It was nice having
you in my bed.
644
00:27:26,075 --> 00:27:27,076
Goodbye.
645
00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:31,496
Goodbye, Miss Julie.
646
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:32,721
( sighs )
647
00:27:34,361 --> 00:27:36,476
MAN ( over PA ): Good
afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
648
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:39,104
Our tours of Mazatlán will
be leaving in 20 minutes.
649
00:27:44,319 --> 00:27:45,764
Easy.
650
00:27:45,788 --> 00:27:47,069
Yeah. Oh...
651
00:27:47,093 --> 00:27:48,339
See that? You haven't forgotten.
652
00:27:48,363 --> 00:27:49,408
Oh.
653
00:27:49,432 --> 00:27:50,778
But I wouldn't go
dancing tonight.
654
00:27:50,802 --> 00:27:52,015
I wasn't asking.
655
00:27:52,039 --> 00:27:54,020
Well... ( phone rings )
656
00:27:54,044 --> 00:27:55,289
Excuse me. Thanks, doc.
657
00:27:55,313 --> 00:27:57,929
You're welcome.
658
00:27:57,953 --> 00:27:59,666
Yeah, operator.
659
00:27:59,690 --> 00:28:02,540
Yeah. Oh, yeah. My
call to Dr. Hayward.
660
00:28:02,564 --> 00:28:04,813
Hey, Irv, you old quack.
661
00:28:04,837 --> 00:28:06,851
It's Adam Bricker.
662
00:28:06,875 --> 00:28:08,389
A cruise ship. Uh-huh.
663
00:28:08,413 --> 00:28:10,427
And I've got one of
your patients aboard,
664
00:28:10,451 --> 00:28:11,898
Maureen Mitchell.
665
00:28:11,922 --> 00:28:15,339
BRICKER: Shoot, I'm not
gonna give her back to you.
666
00:28:15,363 --> 00:28:16,342
What?
667
00:28:16,366 --> 00:28:18,815
What about the operation?
668
00:28:18,839 --> 00:28:20,786
Irving, not even
with the new...?
669
00:28:20,810 --> 00:28:23,025
Irving, if it were
any other surgeon,
670
00:28:23,049 --> 00:28:25,832
I'd tell her to get
a second opinion.
671
00:28:25,857 --> 00:28:28,172
Well, she's planning to take
a connecting flight to Houston
672
00:28:28,196 --> 00:28:31,914
the day we dock.
673
00:28:31,938 --> 00:28:34,343
Okay, Irving, I'll tell her.
674
00:28:36,783 --> 00:28:38,017
So long.
675
00:28:41,095 --> 00:28:42,097
Doc...
676
00:28:44,035 --> 00:28:45,636
the operation's off, isn't it?
677
00:28:48,647 --> 00:28:50,560
I can't discuss
this with you, John.
678
00:28:50,584 --> 00:28:52,199
Although I know how
much it means to you,
679
00:28:52,223 --> 00:28:54,304
what you just heard was
privileged communication.
680
00:28:54,328 --> 00:28:56,208
I want to tell her, doc.
681
00:28:56,232 --> 00:28:58,235
You never heard
that conversation.
682
00:28:59,373 --> 00:29:03,125
You can't go by
the book on this one.
683
00:29:03,149 --> 00:29:05,664
You've known her for four days.
684
00:29:05,688 --> 00:29:08,004
I've known her for four years.
685
00:29:08,028 --> 00:29:10,666
I love her, and I think that I
should be the one to tell her.
686
00:29:12,038 --> 00:29:13,105
No.
687
00:29:15,112 --> 00:29:16,114
Please.
688
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:21,561
Uh-uh.
689
00:29:24,969 --> 00:29:28,577
Doc... please.
690
00:29:33,491 --> 00:29:35,428
I just threw the book away.
691
00:29:37,535 --> 00:29:38,902
Thank you.
692
00:29:45,789 --> 00:29:47,993
( upbeat theme playing )
693
00:29:58,554 --> 00:30:01,292
( horn blowing )
694
00:30:04,302 --> 00:30:06,383
ISAAC: Gopher, we're
gonna make fools of ourselves.
695
00:30:06,407 --> 00:30:08,020
Isaac, trust me.
696
00:30:08,044 --> 00:30:10,994
Our act will be
the hit of the show.
697
00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:13,601
For the doctor. Down the
passageway to the right.
698
00:30:13,625 --> 00:30:17,076
Isaac, I come from a
show business family.
699
00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:18,636
I have an Uncle who's a midget.
700
00:30:29,898 --> 00:30:32,180
Basket of fruit for the doctor.
701
00:30:32,204 --> 00:30:33,684
BRICKER: Who's it from?
702
00:30:33,708 --> 00:30:35,556
I give you a clue.
703
00:30:35,580 --> 00:30:39,555
I am bigger than a bread box
and I shake more than Jell-O.
704
00:30:43,132 --> 00:30:44,367
April...
705
00:30:46,239 --> 00:30:47,753
What are you doing here?
706
00:30:47,777 --> 00:30:50,126
That's some greeting
for a long lost friend.
707
00:30:50,150 --> 00:30:52,197
But you just left
here a few hours ago.
708
00:30:52,221 --> 00:30:53,233
Okay.
709
00:30:53,257 --> 00:30:55,439
I can go away for
another hour or so,
710
00:30:55,463 --> 00:30:56,475
then maybe you'll miss me.
711
00:30:56,499 --> 00:30:57,744
It's not a matter
of missing you,
712
00:30:57,768 --> 00:30:59,849
you're supposed to
be on a bus home.
713
00:30:59,873 --> 00:31:01,956
But you told me
to keep on trying.
714
00:31:01,980 --> 00:31:04,464
Yeah, but I thought you'd
try on somebody else's ship.
715
00:31:06,190 --> 00:31:08,538
I'm giving you a
lot of trouble, huh?
716
00:31:08,562 --> 00:31:10,878
Are you going to
call the Captain?
717
00:31:10,902 --> 00:31:15,798
Well... maybe not
until tomorrow morning.
718
00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:19,273
I'm getting used to sleeping
on the examination table.
719
00:31:23,733 --> 00:31:24,879
( knock on door )
720
00:31:24,903 --> 00:31:25,904
Come in.
721
00:31:28,077 --> 00:31:29,111
Hey...
722
00:31:37,435 --> 00:31:38,747
Don't tell me.
723
00:31:38,771 --> 00:31:40,719
I know that walk anywhere.
724
00:31:40,743 --> 00:31:41,985
Rudolf Nureyev.
725
00:31:45,989 --> 00:31:47,424
Your knee's all right, isn't it?
726
00:31:48,696 --> 00:31:51,378
Oh, yes. Um, it's gonna be fine.
727
00:31:51,402 --> 00:31:52,616
Just a little stiff.
728
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:53,650
Good.
729
00:31:53,674 --> 00:31:55,990
You had me worried
there for a second.
730
00:31:56,014 --> 00:31:57,962
Honey, I've been thinking...
731
00:31:57,986 --> 00:32:02,005
after my operation, I'm going
to have to rest up for a while,
732
00:32:02,029 --> 00:32:04,044
and it'll be a perfect
opportunity for us
733
00:32:04,068 --> 00:32:06,683
to take that month we've
always talked about.
734
00:32:06,707 --> 00:32:08,956
We can go up to your
cabin in the mountains.
735
00:32:08,980 --> 00:32:11,194
We can go for long walks.
736
00:32:11,218 --> 00:32:13,723
Maureen... Yes?
737
00:32:16,499 --> 00:32:17,866
( melancholy theme playing )
738
00:32:20,274 --> 00:32:22,490
There's something
you have to know.
739
00:32:22,514 --> 00:32:23,515
What?
740
00:32:26,824 --> 00:32:29,172
Sweetheart, I'd go anywhere
in the whole wide world with you,
741
00:32:29,196 --> 00:32:31,767
at any time, but...
742
00:32:36,750 --> 00:32:38,530
But what?
743
00:32:38,554 --> 00:32:41,436
But only as man and wife.
744
00:32:41,461 --> 00:32:43,107
I love you and I'm not
gonna take a chance
745
00:32:43,131 --> 00:32:44,467
on losing you again.
746
00:32:45,270 --> 00:32:46,404
I want to marry you.
747
00:32:49,012 --> 00:32:51,696
John, I'm gonna let
you in on a secret.
748
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,336
If there's one thing
for me that beats
749
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,343
running around the tennis
court with Chrissy Everett,
750
00:32:57,367 --> 00:32:59,571
it's walking down
the aisle with you.
751
00:33:04,853 --> 00:33:05,854
( sighs )
752
00:33:10,668 --> 00:33:12,247
ANITA: Oh, good afternoon.
753
00:33:12,271 --> 00:33:13,249
Beautiful day.
754
00:33:13,273 --> 00:33:14,352
REVEREND: Yes, isn't it?
755
00:33:14,376 --> 00:33:17,226
Your husband
isn't around, is he?
756
00:33:17,250 --> 00:33:18,997
No. Good.
757
00:33:19,021 --> 00:33:22,427
Then I won't have to worry about
his sophomoric practical jokes.
758
00:33:36,265 --> 00:33:37,677
I'm sorry.
759
00:33:37,701 --> 00:33:41,052
I thought people were
unusually hostile today.
760
00:33:41,076 --> 00:33:45,764
Look, Reverend Dickerson,
I want to apologize for Cyril.
761
00:33:45,788 --> 00:33:47,769
He, uh...
762
00:33:47,793 --> 00:33:51,111
Well, he has a rather
strange sense of humor.
763
00:33:51,135 --> 00:33:52,214
Yes.
764
00:33:52,238 --> 00:33:53,482
Sometimes it's rather difficult
765
00:33:53,506 --> 00:33:55,176
to turn the other cheek.
766
00:33:56,950 --> 00:33:57,961
So to speak.
767
00:33:57,985 --> 00:33:59,431
( laughs )
768
00:33:59,455 --> 00:34:03,742
Well, I want to thank you
for being so understanding.
769
00:34:03,766 --> 00:34:05,512
I better go now.
770
00:34:05,536 --> 00:34:08,376
I want to stop him
before he sinks the ship.
771
00:34:12,254 --> 00:34:13,967
That poor woman.
772
00:34:13,991 --> 00:34:15,104
With a husband like that,
773
00:34:15,128 --> 00:34:16,976
you never know what's
gonna happen next.
774
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,169
( whimsical theme playing )
775
00:34:25,252 --> 00:34:28,403
Help! Help!
776
00:34:28,427 --> 00:34:29,974
Man overboard.
777
00:34:29,998 --> 00:34:31,878
Man overboard? Oh, my goodness.
778
00:34:31,902 --> 00:34:33,984
CYRIL: Man overboard.
779
00:34:34,008 --> 00:34:35,143
Look. There's his hat!
780
00:34:48,009 --> 00:34:50,091
I know that hat.
781
00:34:50,115 --> 00:34:52,297
That's his hat.
782
00:34:52,321 --> 00:34:55,839
It's our Mr. Wolff crying wolf.
783
00:34:55,863 --> 00:34:56,841
What shall we do?
784
00:34:56,865 --> 00:34:57,844
Nothing.
785
00:34:57,868 --> 00:34:59,214
If we sound the alarm,
786
00:34:59,238 --> 00:35:01,219
we'll be the laughing
stock of the entire ship.
787
00:35:01,243 --> 00:35:03,224
I won't be made a fool of again.
788
00:35:03,248 --> 00:35:04,582
Neither will I.
789
00:35:09,029 --> 00:35:10,509
What if it's not his hat?
790
00:35:10,533 --> 00:35:11,679
Huh?
791
00:35:11,703 --> 00:35:13,182
What if we're wrong?
792
00:35:13,206 --> 00:35:14,586
Oh...
793
00:35:14,610 --> 00:35:16,190
I couldn't have that
on my conscience.
794
00:35:16,214 --> 00:35:17,258
No.
795
00:35:17,282 --> 00:35:19,605
We'd better report
what happened.
796
00:35:21,426 --> 00:35:23,875
Mrs. Wolff, we're not sure,
797
00:35:23,899 --> 00:35:26,315
but we think your
husband just fell overboard.
798
00:35:26,339 --> 00:35:28,186
REVEREND: We saw
his hat floating away.
799
00:35:28,210 --> 00:35:30,694
We've got to get
the ship stopped.
800
00:35:31,117 --> 00:35:36,374
Oh, please. Reverend,
um... ( chuckles )
801
00:35:36,398 --> 00:35:39,380
Relax. Don't worry.
802
00:35:39,404 --> 00:35:43,624
Whatever Cyril falls into he
comes out smelling like a rose.
803
00:35:43,648 --> 00:35:46,431
He doesn't mean to hurt
anyone with his silly pranks.
804
00:35:46,455 --> 00:35:48,170
It's just that...
805
00:35:48,194 --> 00:35:50,175
Well, sometimes
he gets carried away
806
00:35:50,199 --> 00:35:51,745
and he doesn't
know when to stop.
807
00:35:51,769 --> 00:35:54,285
Well, I'd like to stop him with
a straight left to the chops.
808
00:35:54,309 --> 00:35:55,620
Now, Martha.
809
00:35:55,644 --> 00:35:57,926
Well, I would. Martha.
810
00:35:57,950 --> 00:36:01,669
I bet he'd know when
to stop if just for once,
811
00:36:01,693 --> 00:36:02,695
the joke was on him.
812
00:36:03,933 --> 00:36:08,052
You know, that's a
very interesting idea.
813
00:36:08,076 --> 00:36:10,413
( upbeat theme playing )
814
00:36:18,135 --> 00:36:20,650
We need alcohol,
iodine and adhesive tape.
815
00:36:20,674 --> 00:36:21,652
What happened?
816
00:36:21,676 --> 00:36:22,688
Somebody hurt?
817
00:36:22,712 --> 00:36:23,925
Yeah, the audience.
818
00:36:23,949 --> 00:36:25,517
It's for our act tonight.
819
00:36:26,857 --> 00:36:30,175
Hey... here's April's guitar.
820
00:36:30,199 --> 00:36:32,279
Oh, how nice.
821
00:36:32,303 --> 00:36:35,186
Oh, doc, did she
give that to you?
822
00:36:35,210 --> 00:36:37,525
No, she had it with her
when she got off the ship.
823
00:36:37,549 --> 00:36:41,735
Doc... ( whistling )
824
00:36:41,759 --> 00:36:43,740
Doc...
825
00:36:43,764 --> 00:36:46,315
Captain Stubing
is going to kill us.
826
00:36:46,339 --> 00:36:48,620
He's never let
anyone off that easy.
827
00:36:48,644 --> 00:36:49,924
Never mind us. What about April?
828
00:36:49,948 --> 00:36:52,229
He's gonna throw
her off the ship again.
829
00:36:52,253 --> 00:36:53,933
If we tell.
830
00:36:53,957 --> 00:36:56,206
I won't tell.
831
00:36:56,230 --> 00:36:57,511
I won't tell.
832
00:36:59,037 --> 00:37:00,472
I have to tell.
833
00:37:03,648 --> 00:37:04,861
Trust me.
834
00:37:04,885 --> 00:37:08,570
There are ways of
putting something like this.
835
00:37:08,594 --> 00:37:10,708
Anita?
836
00:37:10,732 --> 00:37:13,215
Anita? Are you here?
837
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,788
You should see what
I just did. It was terrific.
838
00:37:15,812 --> 00:37:17,658
Anita?
839
00:37:17,682 --> 00:37:18,684
Anita?
840
00:37:24,501 --> 00:37:28,286
"Dear world, they just
told me my beloved Cyril
841
00:37:28,310 --> 00:37:33,665
"has fallen to his doom.
I can't live without him.
842
00:37:33,689 --> 00:37:37,442
"That's why I've
flung myself overboard
843
00:37:37,466 --> 00:37:40,104
to join him in his
watery grave."
844
00:37:42,212 --> 00:37:43,213
Oh, no...
845
00:37:46,356 --> 00:37:51,376
Anita, darling...
I didn't mean it.
846
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,582
It's all my fault.
847
00:37:53,606 --> 00:37:54,652
It's all my fault.
848
00:37:54,676 --> 00:37:57,120
( all three ): Gotcha!
849
00:38:04,032 --> 00:38:07,205
( upbeat theme playing )
850
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,323
May I start the show?
851
00:38:23,347 --> 00:38:24,915
Yes, go right ahead.
852
00:38:29,429 --> 00:38:30,942
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,
853
00:38:30,967 --> 00:38:31,978
and welcome to crew night.
854
00:38:32,002 --> 00:38:33,181
Our show tonight is called
855
00:38:33,205 --> 00:38:34,718
That's Almost Entertainment,
856
00:38:34,742 --> 00:38:36,557
and I think after you
see our opening act,
857
00:38:36,581 --> 00:38:37,959
you'll understand why.
858
00:38:37,984 --> 00:38:40,107
Can we have a big hand
for Gopher and Isaac.
859
00:38:52,687 --> 00:38:54,201
You look ridiculous.
860
00:38:54,225 --> 00:38:56,160
That's funny, I've never
seen you look better.
861
00:38:58,067 --> 00:38:59,903
( whistling "Yankee Doodle" )
862
00:39:29,713 --> 00:39:32,897
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
we have a very special treat.
863
00:39:32,921 --> 00:39:37,274
This act is our own Captain
Stubing's personal discovery,
864
00:39:37,298 --> 00:39:41,273
Algolina Patricia
Ruiz Inex Lopez.
865
00:39:52,971 --> 00:39:53,972
Okay.
866
00:39:56,313 --> 00:39:57,613
( playing classical guitar )
867
00:40:12,353 --> 00:40:20,316
♪ My thrill started long
ago With a dream of you ♪
868
00:40:20,340 --> 00:40:28,100
♪ My thrill came alive The
moment you came in view ♪
869
00:40:28,124 --> 00:40:30,574
♪ You are here ♪
870
00:40:30,598 --> 00:40:36,087
♪ And you leave me
breathless With sheer delight ♪
871
00:40:36,111 --> 00:40:42,927
♪ My thrill is to share
The gift that your lip ignite ♪
872
00:40:44,098 --> 00:40:46,637
( singing in Spanish )
873
00:41:32,854 --> 00:41:35,056
( audience cheering )
874
00:41:59,554 --> 00:42:01,535
You know what I
could go for right now?
875
00:42:01,559 --> 00:42:02,871
A brandy.
876
00:42:02,895 --> 00:42:03,973
Good guess.
877
00:42:03,997 --> 00:42:06,178
A good memory.
I'll be right back.
878
00:42:06,202 --> 00:42:08,541
Don't worry. I can't run away.
879
00:42:18,935 --> 00:42:21,017
Maureen, I've been
looking everywhere for you.
880
00:42:21,041 --> 00:42:23,857
Dr. Hayward just called
to say some lab idiot
881
00:42:23,881 --> 00:42:25,294
screwed up on your x-rays.
882
00:42:25,319 --> 00:42:27,633
The operation's back on.
883
00:42:27,657 --> 00:42:28,858
You're gonna be fine.
884
00:42:30,498 --> 00:42:32,613
Would you run that
by me again, please.
885
00:42:32,637 --> 00:42:34,651
Well, it's such great news.
886
00:42:34,675 --> 00:42:36,689
I don't know how to apologize
for putting you through
887
00:42:36,713 --> 00:42:38,494
what we put you
through since yesterday.
888
00:42:38,518 --> 00:42:40,599
I know how shocked you must
have been when John told you
889
00:42:40,623 --> 00:42:42,459
the operation was off.
890
00:42:46,203 --> 00:42:47,405
Maureen?
891
00:42:48,643 --> 00:42:51,158
I'm sorry, I'm just
a little stunned.
892
00:42:51,182 --> 00:42:53,397
MAN ( over PA ): Dr. Bricker,
please report to the bridge.
893
00:42:53,421 --> 00:42:54,735
Dr. Bricker, please.
894
00:42:54,759 --> 00:42:57,407
Excuse me. They're
playing my song.
895
00:42:57,431 --> 00:42:59,412
You're a great girl, Maureen.
896
00:42:59,436 --> 00:43:01,784
I can't tell you how
happy I am for you...
897
00:43:01,808 --> 00:43:03,210
for both of you.
898
00:43:18,718 --> 00:43:21,968
Well, this ought to warm
you up, Mrs. Ballard.
899
00:43:21,992 --> 00:43:23,138
Napoleon Brandy.
900
00:43:23,162 --> 00:43:24,976
I think we should go
to the French Riviera
901
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:26,313
to buy the entire
stock, and then,
902
00:43:26,337 --> 00:43:28,050
of course, to Paris
for some gowns,
903
00:43:28,074 --> 00:43:29,988
and London for the
races at Ascot and then,
904
00:43:30,012 --> 00:43:33,051
of course, the palace
to visit with the Queen.
905
00:43:35,660 --> 00:43:38,711
John, I've been thinking, and,
uh, it's not going to work out.
906
00:43:38,735 --> 00:43:40,069
We've been kidding ourselves.
907
00:43:40,974 --> 00:43:42,185
What?
908
00:43:42,209 --> 00:43:45,427
You've got your career
and I've got mine and...
909
00:43:45,452 --> 00:43:47,495
I know you want
to marry me, but...
910
00:43:50,665 --> 00:43:52,265
But? But what?
911
00:43:53,738 --> 00:43:55,819
Sooner or later it
would come down to
912
00:43:55,843 --> 00:43:58,894
who's career
would be first, and...
913
00:43:58,918 --> 00:44:00,499
I wouldn't want you
to give up your career
914
00:44:00,523 --> 00:44:02,035
and I can't give up mine.
915
00:44:02,059 --> 00:44:04,240
Well, the hell with that, if
you love me you'd marry me.
916
00:44:04,264 --> 00:44:05,386
That's all there is to it.
917
00:44:06,772 --> 00:44:09,386
What's love got
to do with it, John.
918
00:44:09,410 --> 00:44:11,180
You're marrying me out of pity.
919
00:44:12,553 --> 00:44:13,986
What are you talking about?
920
00:44:15,192 --> 00:44:16,961
I just saw Dr. Bricker...
921
00:44:18,934 --> 00:44:20,481
and I found out
there was something
922
00:44:20,506 --> 00:44:22,629
you didn't have
the guts to tell me.
923
00:44:24,849 --> 00:44:27,153
Maureen, I...
924
00:44:35,342 --> 00:44:38,627
How do you have the guts...
925
00:44:38,651 --> 00:44:41,200
to tell the lady
that you love...
926
00:44:41,224 --> 00:44:43,508
she's never going to walk again?
927
00:44:48,643 --> 00:44:53,430
Maureen, I love
you and I want you...
928
00:44:53,454 --> 00:44:57,675
and I'll be damn
lucky to get you...
929
00:44:57,699 --> 00:45:04,446
any which way, on wheels,
on stilts or a pogo stick.
930
00:45:11,700 --> 00:45:14,048
It really doesn't
matter to you, does it?
931
00:45:14,072 --> 00:45:16,341
No, it doesn't.
932
00:45:26,771 --> 00:45:29,153
Darling, there's something
else that the doctor told me
933
00:45:29,177 --> 00:45:30,512
that I think you should know.
934
00:45:31,315 --> 00:45:33,530
Yes?
935
00:45:33,554 --> 00:45:36,203
They're going to go
ahead with the operation.
936
00:45:36,227 --> 00:45:37,963
I'm going to be all right.
937
00:45:41,775 --> 00:45:46,295
And afterwards I'm going to
need an awful lot of handholding...
938
00:45:46,319 --> 00:45:47,353
and love...
939
00:45:49,093 --> 00:45:50,795
and I'm going to need you.
940
00:45:52,769 --> 00:45:54,370
You've got me.
941
00:45:56,311 --> 00:45:58,415
( romantic theme playing )
942
00:46:10,345 --> 00:46:12,483
( upbeat theme playing )
943
00:46:23,212 --> 00:46:24,213
Oh, Billy.
944
00:46:25,384 --> 00:46:26,931
Oh, sweetheart...
945
00:46:26,955 --> 00:46:29,837
ooh, it's so good to see you.
946
00:46:29,861 --> 00:46:32,276
You know customs checked
their file and they couldn't find
947
00:46:32,300 --> 00:46:34,616
an international smuggler
with your son's description,
948
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,555
so we let him come aboard.
949
00:46:36,579 --> 00:46:39,628
That's wonderful. Thank you.
950
00:46:39,652 --> 00:46:41,768
Can I take your
picture? Mom? Dad?
951
00:46:41,792 --> 00:46:43,271
Oh, sure. Sure.
952
00:46:43,295 --> 00:46:45,710
A picture of the
new Cyril Wolff.
953
00:46:45,734 --> 00:46:48,383
I feel ten years younger now
that I don't have to worry about
954
00:46:48,408 --> 00:46:51,179
your dumb practical
jokes anymore.
955
00:46:55,292 --> 00:46:56,270
Gotcha.
956
00:46:56,294 --> 00:46:58,610
That's my boy.
957
00:46:58,634 --> 00:47:01,873
Why do I suddenly
feel ten years older?
958
00:47:03,712 --> 00:47:05,726
You're terrific, kid,
just like I taught you.
959
00:47:05,751 --> 00:47:08,200
You're gonna be wonderful.
Dynamite, just dynamite.
960
00:47:08,224 --> 00:47:09,971
Hey, thanks for inviting
us to your wedding.
961
00:47:09,995 --> 00:47:11,207
Uh-huh. Yeah, but one detail.
962
00:47:11,231 --> 00:47:12,477
When's it gonna be?
963
00:47:12,501 --> 00:47:14,716
Well, that's what
we're working on now.
964
00:47:14,740 --> 00:47:16,621
Well, we'll be back from
the mountains in August,
965
00:47:16,645 --> 00:47:17,991
so it'll probably
be in September.
966
00:47:18,015 --> 00:47:20,363
Ah, September you're
gonna be at Forest Hills,
967
00:47:20,387 --> 00:47:22,134
so it'll probably be in October.
968
00:47:22,158 --> 00:47:23,873
October? You're
covering the World Series.
969
00:47:23,897 --> 00:47:25,043
Well, forget the World Series.
970
00:47:25,067 --> 00:47:26,245
Forget Forest Hills.
971
00:47:26,269 --> 00:47:28,584
No way, 'cause you're
going to be there.
972
00:47:28,608 --> 00:47:29,586
Whatever you say.
973
00:47:29,610 --> 00:47:32,059
Ah, see... Bye, all.
974
00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:33,229
Bye. Bye, Maureen.
975
00:47:33,253 --> 00:47:34,231
Bye.
976
00:47:34,255 --> 00:47:35,257
Drive carefully.
977
00:47:41,574 --> 00:47:43,254
What is gonna
happen with me now?
978
00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:44,691
I don't know.
979
00:47:44,715 --> 00:47:45,961
The Captain asked
us to stay here
980
00:47:45,985 --> 00:47:48,066
till he comes back with Julie.
981
00:47:48,090 --> 00:47:50,795
Maybe Charles Bronson'll
rescue you in a helicopter.
982
00:47:52,167 --> 00:47:53,368
Or not.
983
00:48:02,325 --> 00:48:03,459
April.
984
00:48:05,934 --> 00:48:07,747
Do I have to go now, captain?
985
00:48:07,771 --> 00:48:09,519
Right, you have to go now.
986
00:48:09,543 --> 00:48:10,823
I'm going to jail?
987
00:48:10,848 --> 00:48:12,561
No... to work.
988
00:48:12,585 --> 00:48:13,696
To work?
989
00:48:13,720 --> 00:48:16,124
Are you going to put
me in the change gang?
990
00:48:17,297 --> 00:48:19,577
No, we're putting
you on the crew list.
991
00:48:19,601 --> 00:48:20,581
The crew list?
992
00:48:20,605 --> 00:48:21,583
Oh, oh, oh, wait a minute.
993
00:48:21,607 --> 00:48:22,920
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
994
00:48:22,944 --> 00:48:24,691
That I have to row this thing?
995
00:48:24,715 --> 00:48:27,198
No, you don't have
to row this thing.
996
00:48:27,222 --> 00:48:29,769
I've arranged for April to
work for the Princess Lines
997
00:48:29,793 --> 00:48:32,109
as an entertainer
on another ship.
998
00:48:32,133 --> 00:48:33,175
( screams )
999
00:48:34,506 --> 00:48:37,022
Oh, Captain. You saved my life.
1000
00:48:37,046 --> 00:48:39,394
I love you. You are my
man, my man, I love you.
1001
00:48:39,418 --> 00:48:42,022
How many times do I have
to tell you, I am the captain.
1002
00:48:43,562 --> 00:48:45,143
How much I'm gonna get?
1003
00:48:45,167 --> 00:48:46,646
Three hundred a
week. Four hundred.
1004
00:48:46,670 --> 00:48:48,282
Three hundred.
Three hundred and fifty.
1005
00:48:48,306 --> 00:48:49,286
Two seventy-five.
1006
00:48:49,310 --> 00:48:51,591
Make it 300, we got a deal.
1007
00:48:51,615 --> 00:48:52,828
Congratulations.
1008
00:48:52,852 --> 00:48:54,934
Thank you, doc.
Isn't that beautiful?
1009
00:48:54,958 --> 00:48:57,039
I got 300 on that job a week
1010
00:48:57,063 --> 00:48:59,444
and I got one million
dollars worth in friends.
1011
00:48:59,468 --> 00:49:00,781
Oh, my goodness.
1012
00:49:00,805 --> 00:49:01,882
Thank you very much.
1013
00:49:01,906 --> 00:49:04,490
Julie, I got it.
I think I got it.
1014
00:49:04,514 --> 00:49:05,559
Oh, my goodness.
1015
00:49:05,583 --> 00:49:07,164
By the way, April,
1016
00:49:07,188 --> 00:49:10,104
your fare for this trip will
be deducted from your pay.
1017
00:49:10,128 --> 00:49:11,741
What do you mean?
1018
00:49:11,765 --> 00:49:14,916
Wait a minute is that a crew
rate or a passenger rate?
1019
00:49:14,941 --> 00:49:16,888
What about the
meals that I didn't get?
1020
00:49:16,912 --> 00:49:18,525
I think I need an agent.
1021
00:49:18,549 --> 00:49:20,418
( speaking in Spanish )
1022
00:49:28,975 --> 00:49:30,978
( upbeat theme playing )
69629
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