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1
00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:04,177
( Jack Jones' "The
Love Boat" playing )
2
00:00:11,798 --> 00:00:13,100
♪ Love ♪
3
00:00:15,607 --> 00:00:18,211
♪ Exciting and new ♪
4
00:00:19,517 --> 00:00:21,019
♪ Come aboard ♪
5
00:00:23,627 --> 00:00:27,378
♪ We're expecting you ♪
6
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:29,773
♪ And love ♪
7
00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:35,633
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
8
00:00:35,657 --> 00:00:37,458
♪ Let it flow ♪
9
00:00:39,399 --> 00:00:43,820
♪ It floats back to you ♪
10
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:47,261
♪ The Love Boat ♪
11
00:00:47,285 --> 00:00:52,040
♪ Soon we'll be
making Another run ♪
12
00:00:52,064 --> 00:00:54,847
♪ The Love Boat ♪
13
00:00:54,871 --> 00:00:59,927
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
14
00:00:59,951 --> 00:01:02,299
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
15
00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:06,030
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
16
00:01:08,171 --> 00:01:11,791
♪ And love ♪
17
00:01:11,815 --> 00:01:14,252
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
18
00:01:16,024 --> 00:01:19,943
♪ It's an open smile ♪
19
00:01:19,967 --> 00:01:24,222
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
20
00:01:24,246 --> 00:01:28,698
♪ It's love ♪
21
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:32,229
♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪
22
00:01:38,647 --> 00:01:40,584
( funky upbeat theme playing )
23
00:02:00,769 --> 00:02:02,383
What a great day. ( sighing )
24
00:02:02,407 --> 00:02:04,088
Terrific.
25
00:02:04,112 --> 00:02:05,090
Good morning, captain.
26
00:02:05,114 --> 00:02:06,294
Good morning, captain.
27
00:02:06,318 --> 00:02:08,365
For you maybe.
Will you get a haircut.
28
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,069
Yes, sir.
29
00:02:10,093 --> 00:02:11,373
Is it my imagination,
30
00:02:11,397 --> 00:02:13,511
or is Captain Stubing
in a rotten mood?
31
00:02:13,535 --> 00:02:14,880
He's in a rotten mood.
32
00:02:14,904 --> 00:02:16,984
But I think I know the reason.
33
00:02:17,008 --> 00:02:18,756
Aubrey and Mrs. Skaugstad?
34
00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:20,729
Yeah, he's one of the
directors of the ship's line.
35
00:02:20,753 --> 00:02:22,266
They're sailing with us today.
36
00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:24,604
Ooh. Remind me to make an
appointment with the barber.
37
00:02:24,628 --> 00:02:26,209
Uh, make an appointment
with the barber.
38
00:02:26,234 --> 00:02:27,378
Thank you. I almost forgot
39
00:02:27,402 --> 00:02:28,915
to make an appointment
with the barber.
40
00:02:28,939 --> 00:02:30,821
Here they come out
of the starting gate.
41
00:02:30,845 --> 00:02:32,447
( indistinct chatter )
42
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,131
Good morning.
43
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,392
I can walk, dumbo.
44
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:40,879
( sighs )
45
00:02:40,903 --> 00:02:44,176
We are Mr. and Mrs.
Aubrey Skaugstad.
46
00:02:45,315 --> 00:02:47,594
Oh, Mr. Skaugstad,
47
00:02:47,618 --> 00:02:48,965
we've been expecting you.
48
00:02:48,989 --> 00:02:50,838
It's an honor. And
Mrs. Skaugstad,
49
00:02:50,862 --> 00:02:52,072
how nice to meet you.
50
00:02:52,097 --> 00:02:54,113
You're in Cabin 348.
51
00:02:54,137 --> 00:02:56,419
That's on the Promenade
Deck. Cabin 348.
52
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,556
It's right here on my list.
Heh-heh. No problems here.
53
00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:01,062
Well, Mrs. Skaugstad, sir,
I'm Yeoman-Purser Smith.
54
00:03:01,086 --> 00:03:02,700
And if there's
anything that I can do
55
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,672
to make your voyage a
little bit more pleasurable,
56
00:03:04,696 --> 00:03:06,142
please don't hesitate
to contact me.
57
00:03:06,166 --> 00:03:07,144
I'm here to serve.
58
00:03:07,168 --> 00:03:11,009
Lord, I love an obsequious runt.
59
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,000
We will see you in
our cabin in one hour.
60
00:03:16,024 --> 00:03:18,461
And you can leave the
Shirley Temple routine outside.
61
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,247
Aubrey.
62
00:03:21,271 --> 00:03:23,206
( upbeat theme playing )
63
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,894
This is going to be
such a fun voyage.
64
00:03:26,917 --> 00:03:28,130
( scoffs )
65
00:03:28,154 --> 00:03:30,235
JULIE: Good morning.
Welcome aboard.
66
00:03:30,259 --> 00:03:31,607
Hello. Welcome aboard.
67
00:03:31,631 --> 00:03:33,566
( upbeat theme playing )
68
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,759
Ginny! Ginny! How
can you do this to me?
69
00:03:59,967 --> 00:04:02,315
Ginny! Ginny, come back here!
70
00:04:02,339 --> 00:04:04,187
I love you! Don't
leave me, woman!
71
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:05,212
Come back here!
72
00:04:12,866 --> 00:04:14,580
Excuse me. Ginny O'Brien.
73
00:04:14,604 --> 00:04:17,017
Oh, okay.
74
00:04:17,041 --> 00:04:20,462
Uh, yes, uh, O'Brien, A-114.
75
00:04:20,486 --> 00:04:21,966
Welcome aboard, Miss O'Brien.
76
00:04:23,258 --> 00:04:25,774
Don't let her stay on
the boat! She's got bugs!
77
00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:27,733
( yelling indistinctly )
78
00:04:36,659 --> 00:04:37,703
Hi.
79
00:04:37,727 --> 00:04:39,141
Oh, hi.
80
00:04:39,165 --> 00:04:40,645
I'm Lorraine Hoffman.
81
00:04:40,669 --> 00:04:43,585
Well, I guess we're,
uh, cabinmates.
82
00:04:43,609 --> 00:04:45,290
Hey, is anything wrong?
83
00:04:45,314 --> 00:04:46,827
No.
84
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,498
Well, there was a
man after me. I...
85
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,101
Congratulations.
86
00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:52,161
So does he have a friend?
87
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:55,515
Sir. Excuse me, sir.
88
00:04:55,539 --> 00:04:56,916
Are you a passenger on the ship?
89
00:04:56,940 --> 00:04:58,989
Uh, no, but I'm looking
for one: Ginny O'Brien.
90
00:04:59,013 --> 00:05:00,662
Well, I'm sorry, sir.
No more visitors.
91
00:05:00,686 --> 00:05:01,864
We're just about to sail.
92
00:05:01,888 --> 00:05:03,535
Yeah, but I gotta see
her, just for a minute.
93
00:05:03,559 --> 00:05:06,777
Hey, fella, I'd like to help
you out, but rules are rules.
94
00:05:06,801 --> 00:05:08,280
( laughing ): Hey.
95
00:05:08,304 --> 00:05:11,623
I'm sure a man of your stature
96
00:05:11,647 --> 00:05:14,329
can do something... captain.
97
00:05:14,353 --> 00:05:17,869
A little something to help
me in this predicament.
98
00:05:17,893 --> 00:05:18,873
Captain?
99
00:05:18,897 --> 00:05:20,098
Aye, aye.
100
00:05:22,707 --> 00:05:23,753
Okay, but just for a minute.
101
00:05:23,777 --> 00:05:25,846
Just for a minute. Right.
102
00:05:26,916 --> 00:05:28,028
A-114.
103
00:05:28,052 --> 00:05:29,801
A-114.
104
00:05:29,825 --> 00:05:31,372
Thank you very much, skipper.
105
00:05:31,396 --> 00:05:32,562
Aye, aye.
106
00:05:36,776 --> 00:05:39,357
How is everything, captain?
107
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:42,364
Oh, fine, sailor. Shipshape.
108
00:05:42,388 --> 00:05:44,838
Sir. Uh...
109
00:05:44,862 --> 00:05:47,432
Well, sir, what happened
was, um, this man...
110
00:05:48,905 --> 00:05:51,021
Well, it was just for
a minute, sir, and I...
111
00:05:51,045 --> 00:05:53,058
Well, it's good public
relations, wouldn't you say?
112
00:05:53,082 --> 00:05:54,329
No, I wouldn't.
113
00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:56,434
Well, you're the captain.
114
00:05:56,458 --> 00:05:57,891
Yes, I am.
115
00:05:59,163 --> 00:06:00,406
See, I knew one of us was.
116
00:06:01,471 --> 00:06:03,005
I just always get us mixed up.
117
00:06:06,216 --> 00:06:07,628
Well, I'll return to my post.
118
00:06:07,652 --> 00:06:09,020
Yes.
119
00:06:11,028 --> 00:06:13,209
So did you just wanna
get away from it all?
120
00:06:13,233 --> 00:06:14,545
Uh-huh.
121
00:06:14,570 --> 00:06:17,384
I don't think I'm gonna
be a real fun cabinmate.
122
00:06:17,408 --> 00:06:19,759
Oh, well, that's
okay, uh, just as long
123
00:06:19,783 --> 00:06:22,397
as you're willing to take a
little stroll around the deck
124
00:06:22,421 --> 00:06:24,537
in case I happen to be
entertaining a gentleman friend.
125
00:06:24,561 --> 00:06:26,475
Oh, sure. No problem.
126
00:06:26,499 --> 00:06:28,368
That's good. I'll do
the same for you.
127
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,648
Shazam!
128
00:06:35,454 --> 00:06:37,000
Hey, uh, wait a second.
129
00:06:37,024 --> 00:06:39,106
We were just getting
the rules straight. Ha, ha.
130
00:06:39,130 --> 00:06:42,915
Ronald, I told you I didn't
wanna see you anymore.
131
00:06:42,939 --> 00:06:44,586
I don't care. I
can't let you go.
132
00:06:44,611 --> 00:06:46,024
You mean too much to me.
133
00:06:46,048 --> 00:06:47,593
Not enough to get married.
134
00:06:47,618 --> 00:06:51,104
Hey, now, what's this big thing
you got about getting married?
135
00:06:51,128 --> 00:06:52,875
You know, we've been
happily living together
136
00:06:52,899 --> 00:06:54,446
for the past two years.
137
00:06:54,469 --> 00:06:56,984
Do you have to advertise it?
138
00:06:57,008 --> 00:07:00,059
Oh, uh, heh-heh. That's
okay. Nobody's listening.
139
00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:01,597
Who are you?
140
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:02,733
Lorraine Hoffman.
141
00:07:02,757 --> 00:07:04,304
Lorraine is my cabinmate.
142
00:07:04,328 --> 00:07:06,508
Oh, wow, now, look at this.
143
00:07:06,532 --> 00:07:08,714
You're willing to share
your bedroom with her
144
00:07:08,738 --> 00:07:10,619
and not be married. Why not me?
145
00:07:10,643 --> 00:07:12,088
MAN ( over PA ): Last call.
146
00:07:12,112 --> 00:07:13,259
All visitors ashore, please.
147
00:07:13,283 --> 00:07:14,328
( chuckles )
148
00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:15,699
Well, that's our cue.
149
00:07:15,723 --> 00:07:18,036
The boat will be leaving
in a minute. Heh-heh.
150
00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:20,243
It only takes a
minute to say "I do."
151
00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:22,882
And it only takes a
second to say "I don't."
152
00:07:22,906 --> 00:07:24,052
Goodbye, Ronald.
153
00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:25,924
Aw, now, come on, Ginny.
154
00:07:25,948 --> 00:07:27,761
People in love today
don't get married.
155
00:07:27,785 --> 00:07:30,636
It spoils the relationship.
156
00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:33,576
You see, the thing
today is freedom.
157
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:34,813
Didn't you see Roots?
158
00:07:34,837 --> 00:07:38,086
Yes, but I wanna start
a family, not trace one.
159
00:07:38,110 --> 00:07:40,861
Girl, it took us 300
years to get our freedom.
160
00:07:40,885 --> 00:07:43,000
You want me to give mine up now?
161
00:07:43,024 --> 00:07:46,096
Freedom? You're just afraid to
make a commitment, that's all.
162
00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:48,780
Do you know what
your problem is?
163
00:07:48,804 --> 00:07:51,655
You're immature
and irresponsible.
164
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,225
( laughs )
165
00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:57,066
Immature and irresponsible.
166
00:07:57,090 --> 00:08:00,310
Me, who owns his own
exterminating company,
167
00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:03,752
and I am listed in
the Yellow Pages.
168
00:08:03,776 --> 00:08:05,356
Goodbye, Ronald.
169
00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:07,024
But I don't understand.
170
00:08:07,048 --> 00:08:10,234
Then let me put in
words you will understand:
171
00:08:10,259 --> 00:08:11,727
bug off!
172
00:08:14,303 --> 00:08:16,550
You look very nice today.
173
00:08:16,574 --> 00:08:19,424
I have to go up to
Mrs. Skaugstad's cabin.
174
00:08:19,448 --> 00:08:20,795
Would you hold the fort for me?
175
00:08:20,819 --> 00:08:23,689
I'd rather hold the fort
than face the Indians.
176
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,643
Oh, excuse me, please.
177
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,114
I-is there a newsstand onboard?
178
00:08:29,138 --> 00:08:30,886
There's one in the gift
shop, but it's closed.
179
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,490
Ah, well, what
time does it open?
180
00:08:32,514 --> 00:08:34,249
Nine in the morning. I...
181
00:08:35,621 --> 00:08:36,667
I need a friend.
182
00:08:36,691 --> 00:08:39,139
Can I help?
183
00:08:39,163 --> 00:08:40,165
Would you mind?
184
00:08:42,873 --> 00:08:44,152
My name is Sandy Rytell.
185
00:08:44,176 --> 00:08:46,112
Julie McCoy. Hi.
186
00:08:47,283 --> 00:08:50,034
Julie.
187
00:08:50,058 --> 00:08:51,260
You see that man over there?
188
00:08:55,705 --> 00:08:59,023
That's my fiancé,
Congressman Brockway.
189
00:08:59,047 --> 00:09:01,095
A long time ago,
before I ever met him,
190
00:09:01,119 --> 00:09:04,269
I... I posed for a
picture in a magazine.
191
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,341
Uh-huh. No, I-I mean,
192
00:09:06,365 --> 00:09:09,716
I posed for a picture
in a magazine.
193
00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:11,076
Oh.
194
00:09:13,549 --> 00:09:15,831
Oh.
195
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:19,474
Just you and a bearskin rug.
196
00:09:19,498 --> 00:09:22,035
Yes, but no rug, just...
Just the bare skin.
197
00:09:22,906 --> 00:09:24,453
Uh, terrific.
198
00:09:24,477 --> 00:09:26,492
All... All this time and
it's never surfaced,
199
00:09:26,516 --> 00:09:28,796
until they found out I was
engaged to Brad, and...
200
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:30,435
And it's coming out now.
201
00:09:30,459 --> 00:09:32,705
Yeah. And when it
hits the stand, he's...
202
00:09:32,729 --> 00:09:34,677
You know, he's just gonna
go... Go through the roof.
203
00:09:34,701 --> 00:09:36,650
I... I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
204
00:09:36,674 --> 00:09:38,086
I... I talked him into a cruise
205
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:39,323
to get him away from newsstands
206
00:09:39,347 --> 00:09:41,697
and Kitten magazine.
207
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,959
Uh, Sandy, the newsstand
carries Kitten magazine.
208
00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:50,251
That's what I was afraid of.
209
00:09:50,275 --> 00:09:52,389
Well, I'll just be there
at 9:00 in the morning.
210
00:09:52,413 --> 00:09:53,758
'Cause if I'm not,
211
00:09:53,782 --> 00:09:56,026
I guess Miss June's gonna
be busting out all over.
212
00:09:57,592 --> 00:09:58,604
Sandy?
213
00:09:58,628 --> 00:09:59,774
Oh. Sweetheart.
214
00:09:59,798 --> 00:10:01,000
Excuse me.
215
00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:06,757
( upbeat theme playing )
216
00:10:06,781 --> 00:10:09,231
( horn blows )
217
00:10:09,255 --> 00:10:11,693
( all shouting goodbyes )
218
00:10:14,768 --> 00:10:15,770
Whoo!
219
00:10:26,332 --> 00:10:28,367
( blowing horn )
220
00:10:32,647 --> 00:10:33,626
( knock at door )
221
00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:34,861
Come in.
222
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,168
( door opens )
223
00:10:39,798 --> 00:10:40,967
Yes, sir.
224
00:10:42,371 --> 00:10:44,452
Good morning again, sir. Again.
225
00:10:44,476 --> 00:10:45,855
What's good about it?
226
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:48,250
Well, it's nice to
hear your growl again.
227
00:10:50,493 --> 00:10:52,372
Don't be so
saccharine, Miss McCoy.
228
00:10:52,396 --> 00:10:55,045
It makes me feel that I'm
watching a Shirley Temple movie.
229
00:10:55,069 --> 00:10:56,715
Now, what do you
want? Well, first I'd like
230
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,055
to figure out what everybody's
got against Shirley Temple.
231
00:10:59,079 --> 00:11:00,259
Miss McCoy.
232
00:11:00,283 --> 00:11:03,567
Well, sir, I don't
know if you're aware,
233
00:11:03,591 --> 00:11:05,270
but one of the
directors of the line...
234
00:11:05,294 --> 00:11:07,275
Aubrey Skaugstad.
235
00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:08,579
Painfully aware.
236
00:11:08,603 --> 00:11:12,288
Um, there's a slight problem.
237
00:11:12,312 --> 00:11:13,526
Only slight?
238
00:11:13,550 --> 00:11:14,782
That's a surprise.
239
00:11:16,289 --> 00:11:19,440
Well, um... Um...
240
00:11:19,464 --> 00:11:22,112
Miss McCoy, if you
say "um" one more time,
241
00:11:22,136 --> 00:11:23,417
I'll have you keel.hauled.
242
00:11:23,441 --> 00:11:24,685
Now, what is your problem?
243
00:11:24,709 --> 00:11:25,711
Well, um...
244
00:11:26,681 --> 00:11:30,032
Uh, I invited Mr. and
Mrs. Skaugstad
245
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:33,006
to have dinner with you
tonight at your table, and...
246
00:11:33,030 --> 00:11:34,412
Don't tell me.
247
00:11:34,435 --> 00:11:37,884
Mrs. Skaugstad said that
she would be delighted
248
00:11:37,908 --> 00:11:41,585
to dine at the captain's
table if I eat someplace else.
249
00:11:42,988 --> 00:11:44,001
Right.
250
00:11:44,025 --> 00:11:47,308
I expected as much
from that woman.
251
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,096
Well, then, there's no problem.
252
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:54,861
♪ On the good ship lollipop... ♪
253
00:11:54,885 --> 00:11:57,020
( mellow theme playing )
254
00:11:59,364 --> 00:12:00,966
( indistinct chatter )
255
00:12:02,505 --> 00:12:03,717
I guess Stubing decided
256
00:12:03,741 --> 00:12:05,822
discretion was the
better part of valor.
257
00:12:05,846 --> 00:12:08,194
If the director's wife says she
doesn't want you at her table,
258
00:12:08,218 --> 00:12:10,065
then you eat alone in your room.
259
00:12:10,089 --> 00:12:11,836
You didn't see the
look on his face.
260
00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:13,997
He'll be here.
261
00:12:20,918 --> 00:12:24,235
( soft piano music
playing in dining room )
262
00:12:24,259 --> 00:12:27,409
I told you he'd show.
263
00:12:27,433 --> 00:12:29,917
Maybe he didn't like
the company in his room.
264
00:12:30,642 --> 00:12:34,395
Ladies, gentlemen, Stacy.
265
00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:35,718
Merrill.
266
00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:41,144
Mr. Skaugstad, it's a pleasure
to welcome you aboard.
267
00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:43,839
I'm speaking for my entire crew.
268
00:12:46,248 --> 00:12:47,626
I got your joke message.
269
00:12:47,650 --> 00:12:49,832
I was serious.
270
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,036
Ha, ha. I am the captain.
271
00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:53,608
This is the captain's table.
272
00:12:53,632 --> 00:12:56,550
The captain sits at
the captain's table.
273
00:12:56,574 --> 00:12:59,523
It's not a question
of title, bozo.
274
00:12:59,547 --> 00:13:00,993
It's a question of
who has the muscle.
275
00:13:01,017 --> 00:13:04,290
Aubrey has the muscle
and I'm with Aubrey.
276
00:13:07,933 --> 00:13:08,935
I see.
277
00:13:10,775 --> 00:13:13,680
I wish you wouldn't
call me bozo.
278
00:13:15,521 --> 00:13:19,495
Lord, I hate a sweaty
forehead on a bald man.
279
00:13:22,638 --> 00:13:25,387
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's been a pleasure
280
00:13:25,412 --> 00:13:27,257
but I have duties on the bridge.
281
00:13:27,281 --> 00:13:28,628
Good evening.
282
00:13:28,652 --> 00:13:29,787
Good evening.
283
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:32,627
Good evening.
284
00:13:41,753 --> 00:13:43,097
He didn't lose his temper.
285
00:13:43,121 --> 00:13:44,669
He's handling it very well.
286
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:47,564
Yeah. It'll take a lot more
than this to rattle our captain.
287
00:13:54,351 --> 00:13:55,652
( screams )
288
00:14:02,002 --> 00:14:03,102
Good evening.
289
00:14:11,495 --> 00:14:13,430
( upbeat theme playing )
290
00:14:14,468 --> 00:14:16,002
( knock at door )
291
00:14:20,281 --> 00:14:21,562
( knocking persists )
292
00:14:21,585 --> 00:14:22,897
Ten o'clock.
293
00:14:22,921 --> 00:14:24,167
Oh.
294
00:14:24,191 --> 00:14:25,872
Uh, who is it?
295
00:14:25,896 --> 00:14:26,973
Brad?
296
00:14:26,997 --> 00:14:28,679
Oh, Brad, I can
explain everything.
297
00:14:28,703 --> 00:14:30,585
There's... There's this,
uh... There's this girl.
298
00:14:30,609 --> 00:14:32,722
She could be my
double. You just never...
299
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:35,395
I know, you overslept.
300
00:14:35,419 --> 00:14:36,931
Well, you're lucky
you're a passenger.
301
00:14:36,955 --> 00:14:39,204
On Captain Stubing's
crew when you oversleep,
302
00:14:39,228 --> 00:14:40,230
you're overboard.
303
00:14:42,034 --> 00:14:43,214
Got 'em for you.
304
00:14:43,238 --> 00:14:44,652
Oh, Julie,
305
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,856
how can I ever
thank you? Forget it.
306
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:50,835
But, Sandy, if you
don't mind my asking,
307
00:14:50,859 --> 00:14:51,924
how could you...?
308
00:14:53,397 --> 00:14:54,479
Pose for a centerfold?
309
00:14:55,704 --> 00:14:57,951
Well, it's a long story.
310
00:14:57,975 --> 00:14:59,075
( sighs )
311
00:15:03,957 --> 00:15:05,203
I was in law school,
312
00:15:05,227 --> 00:15:08,309
and the tuition was
costing a fortune.
313
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:10,952
Thank you.
314
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:13,858
And I wanted to eat,
so I got a dark wig,
315
00:15:13,882 --> 00:15:15,327
used a phony name
and just prayed
316
00:15:15,351 --> 00:15:16,554
no one would ever find out.
317
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,576
Julie, I don't want
to lose Brad over this.
318
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,580
I mean, he's the best thing
that ever happened to me.
319
00:15:22,604 --> 00:15:26,722
But he's gonna find out when
you get back to Los Angeles.
320
00:15:26,746 --> 00:15:29,598
I mean, you're going to have
to deal with it sooner or later.
321
00:15:29,622 --> 00:15:31,526
Better later than sooner.
322
00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:36,483
Well, I better get back to work.
323
00:15:36,507 --> 00:15:38,384
Well, thank you for
getting all the copies for me.
324
00:15:38,409 --> 00:15:41,495
Well, I got all the
copies they had... left.
325
00:15:41,519 --> 00:15:42,530
How many did they sell?
326
00:15:42,554 --> 00:15:43,733
Three.
327
00:15:43,757 --> 00:15:45,437
How am I gonna ever find 'em?
328
00:15:45,461 --> 00:15:47,908
It's gonna be like looking
for a needle in a haystack.
329
00:15:47,932 --> 00:15:49,279
Don't worry, I have a clue.
330
00:15:49,303 --> 00:15:50,450
What?
331
00:15:50,474 --> 00:15:52,208
All the buyers were men.
332
00:15:54,282 --> 00:15:56,731
STACY: I have never seen an
operation run more inefficiently.
333
00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:58,637
GOPHER: Well, now, I
wouldn't say inefficient.
334
00:15:58,661 --> 00:15:59,806
What would you say? Well, I...
335
00:15:59,830 --> 00:16:01,110
I'm not quite sure. Um, uh...
336
00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:02,780
Maybe I could get
back to you next week.
337
00:16:02,804 --> 00:16:04,652
Your passenger list is
an indecipherable mess.
338
00:16:04,676 --> 00:16:05,988
Now, ma'am, uh, wait a minute.
339
00:16:06,012 --> 00:16:07,892
I'm sorry about those
two typographical errors.
340
00:16:07,916 --> 00:16:09,228
Really, is my face red. Boy.
341
00:16:09,252 --> 00:16:10,568
Captain Stubing is constantly...
342
00:16:10,592 --> 00:16:12,202
Don't interrupt. Your
safe was unlocked.
343
00:16:12,226 --> 00:16:13,708
It was empty. Your
desk was littered.
344
00:16:13,732 --> 00:16:15,377
That's paperwork.
And you need a haircut.
345
00:16:15,401 --> 00:16:16,403
( sighs )
346
00:16:17,507 --> 00:16:19,612
( upbeat theme playing )
347
00:16:21,619 --> 00:16:23,900
Well, believe me, you can
never find enough baskets.
348
00:16:23,924 --> 00:16:25,671
And Puerto
Vallarta has the best.
349
00:16:25,695 --> 00:16:27,809
Not anymore. You've
got them all now.
350
00:16:27,833 --> 00:16:29,781
What do you plan to
do with them, anyway?
351
00:16:29,805 --> 00:16:31,919
Oh, the same thing I did
with the ones last year.
352
00:16:31,943 --> 00:16:34,013
Put 'em in the attic.
353
00:16:37,088 --> 00:16:38,503
GINNY: Can you make it?
354
00:16:38,527 --> 00:16:39,940
LORRAINE: Ah, I think so.
355
00:16:39,964 --> 00:16:41,977
Here, let me help you.
356
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,305
Oh, thanks.
357
00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:50,232
( gasps )
358
00:16:50,256 --> 00:16:52,571
You don't think I bought
too much jewelry, do you?
359
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,742
No.
360
00:16:53,766 --> 00:16:55,579
Besides, if you
ever get tired of it,
361
00:16:55,603 --> 00:16:57,683
you can melt it all down
and make yourself a car.
362
00:16:57,707 --> 00:16:59,309
( both laugh )
363
00:17:03,321 --> 00:17:05,091
Oh.
364
00:17:07,599 --> 00:17:10,751
( lively percussive
theme playing )
365
00:17:10,775 --> 00:17:12,252
Guess who's coming to dinner.
366
00:17:12,276 --> 00:17:14,793
Buenas días, Mama.
367
00:17:14,817 --> 00:17:16,764
I don't believe it.
368
00:17:16,788 --> 00:17:18,267
What should I do?
How should I act?
369
00:17:18,291 --> 00:17:20,207
Play it cool, now.
Just play it cool.
370
00:17:20,231 --> 00:17:21,310
Ha-ha!
371
00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:22,646
Ronald, don't tell me
372
00:17:22,670 --> 00:17:24,751
you flew all the way down here.
373
00:17:24,775 --> 00:17:28,883
Nope, I was just coming
to get my car washed.
374
00:17:32,025 --> 00:17:35,712
You must really love me,
Ronald, to follow me this far, huh?
375
00:17:35,736 --> 00:17:37,215
You bet I do.
376
00:17:37,239 --> 00:17:39,387
But I know somebody
who doesn't love me.
377
00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:40,893
Who?
378
00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:42,027
Lady who lives in L.A.
379
00:17:42,051 --> 00:17:43,430
waiting for me to
kill her termites.
380
00:17:43,454 --> 00:17:45,771
Yeah, well, you know what
you're always say about termites.
381
00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:46,872
Right.
382
00:17:46,896 --> 00:17:49,681
Don't worry about
your termites, lady,
383
00:17:49,705 --> 00:17:52,386
because when your
house falls, it'll kill them.
384
00:17:52,410 --> 00:17:53,658
( laughs )
385
00:17:53,682 --> 00:17:56,564
This is so romantic.
386
00:17:56,588 --> 00:17:58,400
Just think of it,
387
00:17:58,424 --> 00:18:01,076
one of these days I'll
be able to tell our children
388
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:03,783
that their daddy came
all the way to Mexico
389
00:18:03,807 --> 00:18:06,589
and swept me off my feet.
390
00:18:06,613 --> 00:18:08,828
Children?
391
00:18:08,852 --> 00:18:10,131
Daddy?
392
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:11,402
( clears throat )
393
00:18:11,426 --> 00:18:13,506
Check, please.
394
00:18:13,530 --> 00:18:14,843
Ronald, do you mean to tell me
395
00:18:14,867 --> 00:18:17,047
you didn't come
down here to propose?
396
00:18:17,071 --> 00:18:20,090
Uh, I came down here
to propose that we, uh,
397
00:18:20,114 --> 00:18:21,860
keep living together.
398
00:18:21,884 --> 00:18:25,168
But I wanna wear a white
dress and walk down the aisle.
399
00:18:25,192 --> 00:18:27,842
Well, you can wear a white
dress the next time we walk
400
00:18:27,866 --> 00:18:29,379
down the aisle at
the supermarket.
401
00:18:29,403 --> 00:18:32,452
No. Look, I'm tired of going
to parties and being introduced
402
00:18:32,476 --> 00:18:34,058
as Ronald Baker and Ginny.
403
00:18:34,082 --> 00:18:36,863
I'm tired of having both
our names on the mailbox,
404
00:18:36,887 --> 00:18:39,136
and I'm especially tired of us
each having a charge account
405
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,139
at the grocer's.
406
00:18:40,163 --> 00:18:42,410
Hey, that's no problem.
407
00:18:42,434 --> 00:18:44,284
We'll just use your
charge account.
408
00:18:44,308 --> 00:18:47,556
And the absolute worst
thing is even after two years,
409
00:18:47,581 --> 00:18:48,828
when we go to
your parents' house
410
00:18:48,852 --> 00:18:50,667
your mother still
gives me dirty looks.
411
00:18:50,691 --> 00:18:52,971
That's just your imagination.
412
00:18:52,995 --> 00:18:55,376
She doesn't even know
we're living together.
413
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:56,380
What?
414
00:18:56,404 --> 00:18:57,783
You've never even told them?
415
00:18:57,807 --> 00:19:00,826
Uh, I guess it just kind
of slipped my mind.
416
00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:03,230
See? Even you're ashamed of it.
417
00:19:03,254 --> 00:19:04,968
How would you feel if
your father and mother
418
00:19:04,992 --> 00:19:06,005
were living together?
419
00:19:06,029 --> 00:19:08,677
They are living together.
420
00:19:08,701 --> 00:19:10,683
But they're married.
421
00:19:10,707 --> 00:19:12,252
Ronald, you're hopeless.
422
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,255
MAN ( over PA ): Last call.
423
00:19:13,279 --> 00:19:14,591
All visitors ashore, please.
424
00:19:14,615 --> 00:19:17,766
Goodbye. You've
gotta get off the boat.
425
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,072
Well, you just missed
the boat yourself, Mama.
426
00:19:20,096 --> 00:19:22,344
The USS Black Prince.
427
00:19:22,368 --> 00:19:24,283
Leaving for ghettos and beyond.
428
00:19:24,307 --> 00:19:26,121
We got a good cuisine too.
429
00:19:26,145 --> 00:19:28,660
Chitlins, spareribs, pork chops.
430
00:19:28,684 --> 00:19:31,601
You're gonna miss all that.
Candied yam, collard greens,
431
00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:33,807
turnips, everything.
432
00:19:33,831 --> 00:19:35,310
Yammy mammies too.
433
00:19:35,334 --> 00:19:37,270
( upbeat theme playing )
434
00:19:46,762 --> 00:19:48,108
These should help.
435
00:19:48,132 --> 00:19:49,478
Just munch on a couple
436
00:19:49,502 --> 00:19:51,751
when you feel that
burning in your stomach.
437
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:55,662
It must be rewarding to see
me reduced to a quivering hulk.
438
00:19:55,686 --> 00:19:58,534
No, not at all, sir.
Oh, please. I know.
439
00:19:58,558 --> 00:20:00,373
The crew is enjoying this.
440
00:20:00,397 --> 00:20:02,847
Seeing me rolling
over and playing dead.
441
00:20:02,871 --> 00:20:05,218
Groveling, acting
like a whipped cur.
442
00:20:05,242 --> 00:20:06,888
Mrs. Skaugstad's
really getting to you.
443
00:20:06,912 --> 00:20:08,492
You had to bring her up?
444
00:20:08,516 --> 00:20:10,834
She'd like to see
me buried at sea.
445
00:20:10,858 --> 00:20:13,472
Oh, come now,
captain. Mrs. Skaugstad?
446
00:20:13,496 --> 00:20:15,778
Why would she want to do
that? She's a perfect stranger.
447
00:20:15,802 --> 00:20:19,554
She's not perfect,
and she is no stranger.
448
00:20:19,578 --> 00:20:23,163
I was married to that
woman for 17 years.
449
00:20:23,187 --> 00:20:24,868
You and she...?
450
00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:26,327
Boggles the mind, doesn't it?
451
00:20:29,002 --> 00:20:31,918
In the beginning...
452
00:20:31,942 --> 00:20:36,762
In the beginning, we were two
young people incredibly in love.
453
00:20:36,786 --> 00:20:41,608
She was beautiful,
sweet, loving.
454
00:20:41,632 --> 00:20:48,113
I was handsome, kind, adoring.
455
00:20:50,088 --> 00:20:54,374
Then, like many other men,
456
00:20:54,397 --> 00:20:55,510
I took a mistress.
457
00:20:55,534 --> 00:20:57,514
Ahhh.
458
00:20:57,538 --> 00:21:02,448
Immense, mysterious,
overpowering.
459
00:21:04,824 --> 00:21:06,571
I've always liked
the big ones too.
460
00:21:06,595 --> 00:21:09,646
I'm talking about the sea.
461
00:21:09,670 --> 00:21:10,849
Oh.
462
00:21:10,873 --> 00:21:13,622
Stacy wanted me to
become a captain of industry.
463
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:16,762
Instead I became
a captain of ships,
464
00:21:16,786 --> 00:21:19,504
and Stacy became a bitter woman.
465
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,542
There just wasn't
enough room in my life
466
00:21:21,566 --> 00:21:23,681
for both her and the sea.
467
00:21:23,705 --> 00:21:24,985
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
468
00:21:25,009 --> 00:21:26,721
Oh, it's all right.
469
00:21:26,745 --> 00:21:29,595
You know, I think she would
have put up with everything else
470
00:21:29,619 --> 00:21:32,368
if she hadn't hated
her name so much.
471
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:33,394
Stacy?
472
00:21:34,832 --> 00:21:36,668
Stubing.
473
00:21:38,140 --> 00:21:39,776
Stacy Stubing?
474
00:22:02,434 --> 00:22:04,370
( soft theme playing )
475
00:22:19,544 --> 00:22:21,491
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry!
476
00:22:21,515 --> 00:22:23,530
I'm so... Oh!
477
00:22:23,554 --> 00:22:24,755
I'm sorry.
478
00:22:25,894 --> 00:22:28,530
Hey, you took the best part.
479
00:22:32,542 --> 00:22:33,889
We'll be docking soon.
480
00:22:33,913 --> 00:22:35,895
You'll love Cabo San Lucas.
481
00:22:35,919 --> 00:22:37,899
Oh, I'm not going ashore.
482
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:42,677
I know my coffee's great, but it
ain't worth hanging around for.
483
00:22:42,702 --> 00:22:44,771
Well, I don't know.
484
00:22:52,659 --> 00:22:54,741
Hi. Well, what do you think?
485
00:22:54,765 --> 00:22:57,715
Nice. But what happened
to your Mexican look?
486
00:22:57,739 --> 00:23:02,093
( posh accent ): Darling, Cabo
is not the place to go native.
487
00:23:02,117 --> 00:23:05,435
It's crawling with billionaires
and beautiful people.
488
00:23:05,459 --> 00:23:07,105
Oh, you'll knock
'em dead, Lorraine.
489
00:23:07,129 --> 00:23:09,412
Ah, we'll knock 'em dead.
490
00:23:09,436 --> 00:23:13,221
We are gonna
paint this town roja.
491
00:23:13,245 --> 00:23:14,758
Oh, you paint it alone.
492
00:23:14,782 --> 00:23:17,230
I'm gonna wait
around here for a while.
493
00:23:17,254 --> 00:23:18,589
What are you gonna wait for?
494
00:23:19,895 --> 00:23:22,176
Oh.
495
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,849
You've got a thing
for one of the crew.
496
00:23:24,873 --> 00:23:27,723
No, I'm gonna wait for Ronald.
497
00:23:27,747 --> 00:23:29,395
By the time he drives
all the way down here
498
00:23:29,419 --> 00:23:32,067
he'll be so exhausted, I'll be
able to talk him into anything.
499
00:23:32,091 --> 00:23:34,540
You really think he's
gonna keep chasing you
500
00:23:34,564 --> 00:23:36,711
after you kicked him
out on his cucaracha?
501
00:23:36,735 --> 00:23:37,848
Sure.
502
00:23:37,872 --> 00:23:39,787
He doesn't give up that easily.
503
00:23:39,811 --> 00:23:41,458
Ronald may not realize it yet,
504
00:23:41,482 --> 00:23:43,563
but deep down inside,
he wants to get married
505
00:23:43,587 --> 00:23:45,100
just as much as I do.
506
00:23:45,124 --> 00:23:47,572
Ah, but are you sure you do?
507
00:23:47,596 --> 00:23:49,076
Of course I am.
508
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:50,749
Why?
509
00:23:50,773 --> 00:23:52,251
Lots of reasons.
510
00:23:52,275 --> 00:23:54,324
Well, let's hear 'em.
511
00:23:54,348 --> 00:23:56,362
Companionship. Get a dog.
512
00:23:56,386 --> 00:23:57,965
Security.
513
00:23:57,989 --> 00:23:59,236
Make it a German shepherd.
514
00:23:59,260 --> 00:24:01,408
I'd like kids.
515
00:24:01,432 --> 00:24:03,368
I'll give you one of mine.
516
00:24:05,108 --> 00:24:06,508
But you have to give them back.
517
00:24:07,814 --> 00:24:09,896
I take it your marriage
didn't work out.
518
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:10,899
Oh, it did.
519
00:24:10,923 --> 00:24:13,939
I worked, he went out.
520
00:24:13,963 --> 00:24:15,945
It's not gonna be
that way with Ronald.
521
00:24:15,969 --> 00:24:19,353
Once I get that ring on
his finger, it's forever.
522
00:24:19,377 --> 00:24:20,958
He'll never take it off.
523
00:24:20,982 --> 00:24:23,797
Play it safe, honey.
524
00:24:23,821 --> 00:24:25,936
Have it made a couple
of sizes too small.
525
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,564
( upbeat theme playing )
526
00:24:49,953 --> 00:24:52,268
Uh, excuse me, could
I have a light, please?
527
00:24:52,292 --> 00:24:53,526
Sure.
528
00:24:59,577 --> 00:25:00,739
Thank you.
529
00:25:01,949 --> 00:25:03,864
Sandy, I'm so glad
I finally found you...
530
00:25:03,888 --> 00:25:05,535
Oh, it's just a small
fire. Self-defense...
531
00:25:05,559 --> 00:25:07,862
Huh? ( man yells )
532
00:25:11,306 --> 00:25:12,820
( snickers ) I only
gotta find one more.
533
00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:15,258
Well, you can stop
looking. Doc's got it.
534
00:25:15,283 --> 00:25:16,328
The... The ship's doctor?
535
00:25:16,352 --> 00:25:18,154
Yeah, that's why
they call him Doc.
536
00:25:19,794 --> 00:25:21,076
I think I've got a cold.
537
00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:43,396
May I help you?
538
00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:45,635
I got a terrible cold.
539
00:25:45,659 --> 00:25:47,973
Did you run out of Kleenex?
540
00:25:47,997 --> 00:25:49,511
( chuckles ) ( laughs )
541
00:25:49,535 --> 00:25:51,458
Uh... Come in, please.
542
00:25:55,951 --> 00:25:57,652
Wanna hop up on the table?
543
00:26:05,408 --> 00:26:06,442
( coughs )
544
00:26:08,983 --> 00:26:10,854
Boy, that's a nasty cough.
545
00:26:12,392 --> 00:26:14,294
Well, let's have a look at you.
546
00:26:17,771 --> 00:26:19,574
Mm-hm.
547
00:26:20,848 --> 00:26:22,381
Mm-hm.
548
00:26:23,654 --> 00:26:26,602
Funny, you don't seem
to have a temperature.
549
00:26:26,626 --> 00:26:29,243
But you're kind of flushed.
550
00:26:29,267 --> 00:26:31,581
I don't think you
have a cold at all.
551
00:26:31,605 --> 00:26:34,825
But you are suffering
from acute embarrassment,
552
00:26:34,849 --> 00:26:38,589
possibly caused by,
um, overexposure.
553
00:26:41,832 --> 00:26:43,267
You knew all along?
554
00:26:45,641 --> 00:26:48,156
I never forget a face.
555
00:26:48,180 --> 00:26:51,231
What's wrong? Are
you ashamed of that?
556
00:26:51,255 --> 00:26:52,568
I am mortified.
557
00:26:52,592 --> 00:26:54,773
Look, I'm a doctor.
558
00:26:54,797 --> 00:26:57,045
I see an awful lot of bodies.
559
00:26:57,069 --> 00:27:00,991
Once I had a guy so fat, I
needed two examination tables.
560
00:27:01,015 --> 00:27:03,529
( both chuckle )
561
00:27:03,553 --> 00:27:04,966
As far as I'm concerned,
562
00:27:04,990 --> 00:27:07,505
you really have nothing
to be ashamed of.
563
00:27:07,529 --> 00:27:08,774
Well, thank you.
564
00:27:08,798 --> 00:27:11,215
But it's not what you
think that concerns me.
565
00:27:11,239 --> 00:27:12,801
It's what my
fiancé's gonna think.
566
00:27:13,778 --> 00:27:15,258
You're trying to hide
this from the man
567
00:27:15,282 --> 00:27:17,295
who's gonna be your husband?
568
00:27:17,319 --> 00:27:18,834
Now, look, it's none
of my business,
569
00:27:18,858 --> 00:27:21,573
but if you're gonna
marry the guy,
570
00:27:21,597 --> 00:27:23,311
you'd better start
being honest with him.
571
00:27:23,335 --> 00:27:26,285
I know, that's what Julie said.
572
00:27:26,309 --> 00:27:28,123
I've got so much to lose.
573
00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:29,661
You're gonna have
a lot more to lose
574
00:27:29,685 --> 00:27:32,168
if you don't level with him now.
575
00:27:33,629 --> 00:27:35,509
( quiet upbeat theme playing )
576
00:27:35,533 --> 00:27:36,967
You're right.
577
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,076
Thank you, doctor.
578
00:27:42,716 --> 00:27:45,266
Uh, I'm sorry I
ruined your magazine.
579
00:27:45,290 --> 00:27:47,370
Oh, I never look
at the centerfolds.
580
00:27:47,394 --> 00:27:49,278
I just buy them
for the articles.
581
00:27:56,818 --> 00:27:59,401
MAN ( over PA ): The Pacific
Princess will be leaving Cabo San Lucas
582
00:27:59,425 --> 00:28:00,427
in 30 minutes.
583
00:28:03,469 --> 00:28:05,015
Hi. I'm back.
584
00:28:05,039 --> 00:28:06,986
Well, how was Cabo San Lucas?
585
00:28:07,010 --> 00:28:09,026
Oh, what a day.
586
00:28:09,050 --> 00:28:10,563
Are you ready for this?
587
00:28:10,587 --> 00:28:14,572
I had four Tom Collins,
three Jack Daniels
588
00:28:14,596 --> 00:28:16,077
and a Paco Martinez.
589
00:28:16,101 --> 00:28:17,747
What's a Paco Martinez?
590
00:28:17,771 --> 00:28:19,284
He's a beach boy at the hotel.
591
00:28:19,308 --> 00:28:21,445
Ooh, and a great dancer.
592
00:28:22,716 --> 00:28:25,099
So how was your day?
593
00:28:25,123 --> 00:28:26,835
He didn't show up.
594
00:28:26,860 --> 00:28:27,973
Aw. I guess I didn't know him
595
00:28:27,997 --> 00:28:29,442
as well as I thought
I did, Lorraine.
596
00:28:29,466 --> 00:28:30,580
We never do.
597
00:28:30,604 --> 00:28:33,386
Well, someone's in a big hurry.
598
00:28:33,410 --> 00:28:34,723
Look at that boat.
599
00:28:34,747 --> 00:28:37,730
Oh, well, Paco said
he'd follow me anywhere,
600
00:28:37,754 --> 00:28:39,669
but I just thought he
was putting me on.
601
00:28:39,693 --> 00:28:41,875
( both laugh )
602
00:28:41,899 --> 00:28:44,513
RONALD: Now hear
this, Ginny O'Brien!
603
00:28:44,537 --> 00:28:45,706
It is me!
604
00:28:46,809 --> 00:28:47,923
Ronald!
605
00:28:47,947 --> 00:28:49,929
It's Ronald!
606
00:28:49,953 --> 00:28:51,431
Ronald!
607
00:28:51,455 --> 00:28:53,169
Get off the boat, woman.
608
00:28:53,193 --> 00:28:54,372
I love you.
609
00:28:54,396 --> 00:28:57,111
I love you too!
610
00:28:57,135 --> 00:28:59,887
I miss you!
611
00:28:59,911 --> 00:29:02,559
I miss you too!
612
00:29:02,583 --> 00:29:04,853
Then get off the boat, woman.
613
00:29:07,161 --> 00:29:09,410
Will you marry me?
614
00:29:09,434 --> 00:29:12,773
I cannot hear you.
615
00:29:15,015 --> 00:29:16,559
Goodbye, Ronald.
616
00:29:16,583 --> 00:29:18,298
Hey, now, wait a minute, Ginny.
617
00:29:18,322 --> 00:29:21,706
You'll never find
another man like me.
618
00:29:21,730 --> 00:29:25,684
I wouldn't look for
another man like you.
619
00:29:25,708 --> 00:29:27,889
Look here, Ginny,
620
00:29:27,913 --> 00:29:30,496
no man could ever love
you or take care of you
621
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:31,765
the way that I will.
622
00:29:31,789 --> 00:29:34,739
What more could
you possibly want?
623
00:29:34,763 --> 00:29:37,212
I want your name!
624
00:29:37,236 --> 00:29:40,409
Okay, then, I'll
call you Ronald.
625
00:29:43,385 --> 00:29:45,455
Adiós, muchacho.
626
00:29:46,759 --> 00:29:49,209
( upbeat dramatic
theme playing )
627
00:29:49,233 --> 00:29:51,736
This is sure the biggest
creek I've ever been up.
628
00:30:02,498 --> 00:30:05,784
I pledge to wage an unflinching
battle against the poor.
629
00:30:05,808 --> 00:30:07,053
( quietly ): No, poverty.
630
00:30:07,077 --> 00:30:09,326
Against poverty. A...
An unflinching battle
631
00:30:09,350 --> 00:30:11,496
against poverty,
and I also feel that...
632
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:12,924
( knock at door )
633
00:30:16,367 --> 00:30:17,345
Hiya, sweetheart. Hi.
634
00:30:17,369 --> 00:30:18,348
D-don't say anything.
635
00:30:18,372 --> 00:30:19,517
I... I got something
to tell you.
636
00:30:19,541 --> 00:30:20,756
No, I got something to show you.
637
00:30:20,780 --> 00:30:23,161
This is me.
638
00:30:23,185 --> 00:30:24,798
Nice wig.
639
00:30:24,822 --> 00:30:26,700
Now, I posed for this long
before we were engaged.
640
00:30:26,724 --> 00:30:28,008
Long before I ever knew you.
641
00:30:30,402 --> 00:30:32,349
If you never wanna see
me again, I don't blame you.
642
00:30:32,373 --> 00:30:34,376
Oh, honey, I wanna
see you again.
643
00:30:35,448 --> 00:30:36,928
And again.
644
00:30:36,952 --> 00:30:38,888
( romantic theme playing )
645
00:30:45,908 --> 00:30:48,992
I'm gonna be married to a woman
other men can only dream about.
646
00:30:49,016 --> 00:30:50,729
And I don't care if
your picture's plastered
647
00:30:50,753 --> 00:30:52,801
on the side of the
Empire State Building,
648
00:30:52,825 --> 00:30:53,859
I love you.
649
00:30:56,466 --> 00:30:59,017
But what about your campaign?
Isn't this gonna cost you votes?
650
00:30:59,041 --> 00:31:00,421
Sandy, I look at it this way:
651
00:31:00,445 --> 00:31:02,826
a guy named Carter
confessed his lust in Playboy,
652
00:31:02,850 --> 00:31:04,496
and he got to be president.
653
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,324
I figure with this, they
could vote me king.
654
00:31:10,135 --> 00:31:12,483
All right, come here. All right.
655
00:31:12,507 --> 00:31:13,486
( both laugh )
656
00:31:13,510 --> 00:31:14,622
Yeah.
657
00:31:14,646 --> 00:31:16,581
( funky dance music playing )
658
00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:21,060
( funky dance music continues )
659
00:31:35,198 --> 00:31:36,608
LORRAINE: Hello.
660
00:31:36,632 --> 00:31:38,748
Oh, I don't think I can go
through with this, Lorraine.
661
00:31:38,772 --> 00:31:41,088
Oh, just have a drink.
It'll calm you down.
662
00:31:41,112 --> 00:31:42,458
Oh, I'm not much of a drinker.
663
00:31:42,482 --> 00:31:44,629
Oh, just a little
sip of something.
664
00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:46,335
It'll take the edge off.
665
00:31:46,359 --> 00:31:48,562
We'll have two straight
double bourbons.
666
00:31:49,666 --> 00:31:52,048
Uh, listen, no sense your
walking back and forth.
667
00:31:52,072 --> 00:31:54,222
Bring the bottle.
668
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:57,060
Well, we might
want a second one.
669
00:31:57,084 --> 00:31:59,434
Look, I'm not even
sure I want the first one.
670
00:31:59,458 --> 00:32:00,537
( sighs )
671
00:32:00,561 --> 00:32:02,074
Trust me, okay?
672
00:32:02,098 --> 00:32:03,845
Now, enough small talk.
673
00:32:03,869 --> 00:32:05,449
Let's meet some men.
674
00:32:05,473 --> 00:32:07,753
Oh, I don't think
I remember how.
675
00:32:07,777 --> 00:32:10,930
The first step is
dangling the bait
676
00:32:10,954 --> 00:32:12,968
so he'll throw
his line your way.
677
00:32:12,992 --> 00:32:15,140
Oh, I know I don't
know how to dangle.
678
00:32:15,164 --> 00:32:17,745
It comes with the package.
679
00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:20,420
You've got your eyes,
you've got your mouth,
680
00:32:20,444 --> 00:32:21,755
you've got my pushup bra.
681
00:32:21,779 --> 00:32:22,781
Just follow me.
682
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:30,802
Okay.
683
00:32:40,996 --> 00:32:42,830
( mambo music playing )
684
00:32:52,724 --> 00:32:54,171
( all laughing )
685
00:32:54,195 --> 00:32:55,896
( all applaud )
686
00:32:58,171 --> 00:32:59,784
♪ Da-da-da-da-da, da ♪
687
00:32:59,808 --> 00:33:01,855
♪ Da-da-da-da, da ♪
688
00:33:01,879 --> 00:33:03,561
♪ Da-da-da-da-da, da ♪
689
00:33:03,585 --> 00:33:05,454
♪ Da-da-da-da, da ♪
690
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,298
( lonely theme playing )
691
00:33:13,510 --> 00:33:15,446
( upbeat theme playing )
692
00:33:18,922 --> 00:33:21,571
STACY: I want to see
your recreation supply list,
693
00:33:21,595 --> 00:33:23,377
your master
entertainment schedule,
694
00:33:23,401 --> 00:33:25,716
your musicians' payments
and your convention procedures.
695
00:33:25,740 --> 00:33:27,085
Gladly, Mrs. Skaugstad.
696
00:33:27,109 --> 00:33:28,856
Captain Stubing
is very particular
697
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,629
about administrative details.
698
00:33:30,653 --> 00:33:32,933
You... like Captain Stubing?
699
00:33:32,957 --> 00:33:35,073
Oh, yes. He's a
marvelous person.
700
00:33:35,097 --> 00:33:36,530
You've been drinking on duty.
701
00:33:38,672 --> 00:33:40,654
That Mr. Skaugstad
is something else.
702
00:33:40,678 --> 00:33:42,290
He never says a word.
703
00:33:42,314 --> 00:33:44,829
With her for a wife, he
never gets the chance.
704
00:33:44,853 --> 00:33:46,134
I wonder where she is now.
705
00:33:46,158 --> 00:33:48,539
The engine room. Checking
the gaskets and shims.
706
00:33:48,563 --> 00:33:50,678
GOPHER: She just got
through in the laundry.
707
00:33:50,702 --> 00:33:53,706
( imitating Stacy ): Lord, I
hate ring around the collar.
708
00:33:54,712 --> 00:33:56,425
How come the captain's
letting this happen?
709
00:33:56,449 --> 00:33:57,561
We've gotta do something.
710
00:33:57,585 --> 00:33:59,990
How about we hire a hit man?
711
00:34:01,062 --> 00:34:02,641
He can't do anything.
712
00:34:02,665 --> 00:34:05,816
Why not? Because.
713
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:08,890
Great answer. You
must be a college grad.
714
00:34:08,914 --> 00:34:13,891
I really shouldn't
be telling this, but...
715
00:34:15,798 --> 00:34:19,015
Mrs. Skaugstad is
Captain Stubing's ex-wife.
716
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,255
Oh, no. Are you serious?
717
00:34:21,279 --> 00:34:23,627
JULIE: Well, that
explains everything.
718
00:34:23,651 --> 00:34:26,300
I can't imagine the
two of them together.
719
00:34:26,324 --> 00:34:27,770
Beauty and the beast.
720
00:34:27,794 --> 00:34:29,742
Beast and the
beast is more like it.
721
00:34:29,766 --> 00:34:32,316
Okay, now, but Captain
Stubing is our beast.
722
00:34:32,340 --> 00:34:33,786
There's only one thing to do.
723
00:34:33,810 --> 00:34:35,890
Right. The hit man.
724
00:34:35,914 --> 00:34:37,494
BRICKER: No.
725
00:34:37,518 --> 00:34:40,737
I'll have to stand up to her.
726
00:34:40,761 --> 00:34:42,807
I know how to handle
this type of woman.
727
00:34:42,831 --> 00:34:45,649
I wasn't married
four times for nothing.
728
00:34:45,673 --> 00:34:49,459
I mean, you can not
allow a woman of this kind
729
00:34:49,483 --> 00:34:51,363
to push you around.
730
00:34:51,386 --> 00:34:53,769
What is going on in here?
731
00:34:53,793 --> 00:34:55,907
Mrs. Skaugstad, welcome.
732
00:34:55,931 --> 00:34:57,411
How nice to see you again.
733
00:34:57,435 --> 00:34:59,284
My, what a lovely
outfit you have on.
734
00:34:59,308 --> 00:35:00,708
Stuff a sock in it, buster.
735
00:35:03,083 --> 00:35:04,796
Show me your
supply requisitions.
736
00:35:04,820 --> 00:35:05,799
Yes, Mrs. Skaugstad.
737
00:35:05,823 --> 00:35:08,307
Right away, Mrs. Skaugstad.
738
00:35:09,064 --> 00:35:10,912
( clears throat )
739
00:35:10,936 --> 00:35:13,619
Uh! Is this a medical facility
or a convention center?
740
00:35:13,643 --> 00:35:14,921
Well, we were
just on our way out.
741
00:35:14,945 --> 00:35:17,025
( all chatter indistinctly )
742
00:35:17,049 --> 00:35:21,137
Lord, I love
nervous perspiration.
743
00:35:21,161 --> 00:35:22,774
Yours too.
744
00:35:22,798 --> 00:35:24,445
LORRAINE: Ginny.
745
00:35:24,469 --> 00:35:25,716
Hm.
746
00:35:25,740 --> 00:35:28,121
Ginny, we're leaving Ensenada
747
00:35:28,145 --> 00:35:29,280
and you didn't even see it.
748
00:35:31,387 --> 00:35:34,303
Do these eyes look like they
wanted to see Ensenada?
749
00:35:34,327 --> 00:35:37,500
Yuck. They don't even look
like they wanna be in your head.
750
00:35:38,838 --> 00:35:41,388
Lorraine, what was I
doing with a life preserver
751
00:35:41,412 --> 00:35:43,227
in my bed this morning?
752
00:35:43,251 --> 00:35:44,763
Well, see,
753
00:35:44,787 --> 00:35:46,900
after you made the band
play Nearer, My God, to Thee,
754
00:35:46,924 --> 00:35:49,808
you started mumbling
something about an iceberg,
755
00:35:49,832 --> 00:35:51,033
and women and children first.
756
00:35:51,970 --> 00:35:53,150
I didn't do that.
757
00:35:53,174 --> 00:35:54,176
Oh, yes, you did.
758
00:35:56,582 --> 00:35:58,664
Well, I do remember one thing.
759
00:35:58,688 --> 00:36:01,370
At some point last night I
decided I was having fun.
760
00:36:01,394 --> 00:36:04,100
Well, good for you.
761
00:36:08,279 --> 00:36:10,784
Well, we're gonna leave
Ensenada and Ronald didn't show.
762
00:36:13,191 --> 00:36:14,725
I guess he finally gave up, huh?
763
00:36:26,424 --> 00:36:28,361
( wacky theme playing )
764
00:36:42,964 --> 00:36:45,848
Hey, gimme a break, brother!
765
00:36:45,872 --> 00:36:47,886
You know, I could help
you with the driving, man.
766
00:36:47,910 --> 00:36:48,977
Don't be like that!
767
00:36:52,188 --> 00:36:55,205
( upbeat theme playing )
768
00:36:55,229 --> 00:36:57,009
And for dessert,
ladies and gentlemen,
769
00:36:57,033 --> 00:37:00,720
I think you might be amused
by our flaming cherries jubilee.
770
00:37:00,744 --> 00:37:01,721
Oh.
771
00:37:01,745 --> 00:37:03,024
( in French )
772
00:37:03,048 --> 00:37:05,953
Burning cherries is
a bundle of laughs.
773
00:37:07,926 --> 00:37:11,077
She just keeps pushing
him and pushing him.
774
00:37:11,101 --> 00:37:12,549
It's like the guys
at the bullfights,
775
00:37:12,573 --> 00:37:14,887
the one that stick the spears
in the bull before they kill it.
776
00:37:14,911 --> 00:37:16,056
What do they call those guys?
777
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,128
I think the technical
term is "bull stickers."
778
00:37:18,152 --> 00:37:19,633
Well, I'm not gonna
watch any more.
779
00:37:19,657 --> 00:37:21,271
I don't wanna be
around for the kill.
780
00:37:21,295 --> 00:37:22,374
Me neither.
781
00:37:22,398 --> 00:37:23,743
I couldn't stand
to see her awarded
782
00:37:23,767 --> 00:37:25,670
his ears and his tail.
783
00:37:27,074 --> 00:37:29,992
I'm going to keep the
pressure on, Merrill.
784
00:37:30,016 --> 00:37:32,130
You do know that.
785
00:37:32,154 --> 00:37:33,702
Really?
786
00:37:33,726 --> 00:37:35,507
I hadn't noticed any pressure.
787
00:37:35,531 --> 00:37:39,517
How come you're
not defending yourself,
788
00:37:39,541 --> 00:37:41,903
or do you always leave
that up to your crew?
789
00:37:44,018 --> 00:37:44,995
My crew?
790
00:37:45,019 --> 00:37:46,131
Mm.
791
00:37:46,156 --> 00:37:49,442
For some bizarre reason,
they seem to admire you.
792
00:37:49,466 --> 00:37:52,134
( scoffing ): Although
I can't imagine why.
793
00:37:55,179 --> 00:37:57,461
Ladies and gentlemen,
uh, please excuse me,
794
00:37:57,485 --> 00:38:00,570
but I have to pass up dessert.
795
00:38:00,594 --> 00:38:04,110
The responsibilities
of my position
796
00:38:04,134 --> 00:38:06,571
require my immediate attention.
797
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,132
GOPHER: If
everything is so perfect,
798
00:38:13,157 --> 00:38:14,804
why are we so miserable?
799
00:38:14,828 --> 00:38:16,174
DOC: We're all suffering
800
00:38:16,198 --> 00:38:18,969
from acute Skaugstad.
801
00:38:20,610 --> 00:38:22,557
Hi. Hi.
802
00:38:22,581 --> 00:38:24,015
You too?
803
00:38:25,254 --> 00:38:27,602
Mrs. Skaugstad caught me when I
804
00:38:27,626 --> 00:38:30,745
accidentally put a
cherry into a martini.
805
00:38:30,769 --> 00:38:33,216
I suggested that
she try my new drink.
806
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:34,987
GOPHER: And?
807
00:38:35,011 --> 00:38:38,061
She suggested
that I try a new job.
808
00:38:38,085 --> 00:38:40,435
Yeah, we think
we've got problems.
809
00:38:40,459 --> 00:38:44,344
Let's just be thankful we're
not in Captain Stubing's shoes.
810
00:38:44,368 --> 00:38:47,384
DOC: This is the longest
cruise I've ever been on.
811
00:38:47,408 --> 00:38:49,825
GOPHER: And we're
not gonna get any time off
812
00:38:49,849 --> 00:38:51,160
for good behavior.
813
00:38:51,185 --> 00:38:53,032
Ha! Time off?
814
00:38:53,056 --> 00:38:56,072
I'm working double shifts
to keep that lady happy.
815
00:38:56,096 --> 00:38:58,647
Hey, I'm spending so much
time trying to please her
816
00:38:58,671 --> 00:39:00,787
that I'm letting the
other passengers down.
817
00:39:00,811 --> 00:39:02,556
DOC: She has the uncanny ability
818
00:39:02,580 --> 00:39:04,461
to make you feel you don't
know what you're doing.
819
00:39:04,485 --> 00:39:08,003
I am a good doctor. Aren't I?
820
00:39:08,027 --> 00:39:09,964
I'd come to you for aspirin.
821
00:39:10,802 --> 00:39:13,216
You're a great doctor.
822
00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:14,887
I just got the answer.
823
00:39:14,911 --> 00:39:15,922
What?
824
00:39:15,946 --> 00:39:17,827
We make Mrs.
Skaugstad the captain.
825
00:39:17,851 --> 00:39:20,376
Then she can hire
the crew she wants.
826
00:39:20,593 --> 00:39:23,677
( heroic theme playing )
827
00:39:23,701 --> 00:39:28,019
Well, as I see it, we
got a couple of choices.
828
00:39:28,043 --> 00:39:30,293
We can get a drink and
go sit out on the deck...
829
00:39:30,317 --> 00:39:32,899
Or? We can get two drinks.
830
00:39:32,923 --> 00:39:34,859
Right. Good plan.
831
00:39:40,275 --> 00:39:41,653
STACY: Forget
something, Merrill?
832
00:39:41,677 --> 00:39:44,795
Yes. Something I've been
meaning to do for a week.
833
00:39:44,819 --> 00:39:46,086
You come too.
834
00:39:46,756 --> 00:39:47,903
( fake laughs )
835
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:50,865
( heroic theme continues )
836
00:39:56,513 --> 00:39:57,994
STACY: What do
you think you're doing?
837
00:39:58,018 --> 00:39:59,398
STUBING: Quiet.
838
00:39:59,422 --> 00:40:01,502
STACY: Who do you think you are?
839
00:40:01,526 --> 00:40:03,141
The captain.
840
00:40:03,165 --> 00:40:04,510
I haven't been acting like it,
841
00:40:04,534 --> 00:40:06,815
but I am the
captain of this ship,
842
00:40:06,839 --> 00:40:08,956
and I am going to
give you an order.
843
00:40:08,980 --> 00:40:11,828
( laughs )
844
00:40:11,852 --> 00:40:13,367
A what?
845
00:40:13,391 --> 00:40:14,971
An order.
846
00:40:14,995 --> 00:40:17,542
Go to your room.
847
00:40:17,566 --> 00:40:19,615
You're going down the
chute for that, Merrill.
848
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,887
Fine, fine.
849
00:40:21,911 --> 00:40:24,527
Now, look, I allowed you
to make my life miserable,
850
00:40:24,551 --> 00:40:27,735
but I will not allow you
to disrupt this cruise
851
00:40:27,759 --> 00:40:29,941
for the passengers,
who, I should point out,
852
00:40:29,965 --> 00:40:31,245
paid to be on this ship.
853
00:40:31,269 --> 00:40:32,682
Who do you think
you're talking...?
854
00:40:32,706 --> 00:40:34,085
I am not finished.
855
00:40:34,109 --> 00:40:36,657
And last, but by no means least,
856
00:40:36,681 --> 00:40:40,835
you will not treat my crew like
a bunch of incompetent boobs.
857
00:40:40,859 --> 00:40:42,360
I have the best crew afloat.
858
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,550
You cannot talk to me like this.
859
00:40:47,574 --> 00:40:49,424
Stacy, shut up.
860
00:40:49,448 --> 00:40:51,349
And go to your room.
861
00:40:53,324 --> 00:40:54,535
( huffs )
862
00:40:54,559 --> 00:40:55,561
Aubrey.
863
00:40:57,132 --> 00:41:03,693
Mr. Skaugstad, no matter
what you say, I will not apologize.
864
00:41:03,717 --> 00:41:07,422
So whatever you have to
say to me, sir, say it now.
865
00:41:09,630 --> 00:41:10,899
( clears throat )
866
00:41:12,704 --> 00:41:13,851
Go to your room.
867
00:41:13,875 --> 00:41:17,113
( quiet triumphant
theme playing )
868
00:41:25,002 --> 00:41:26,436
You're a great captain.
869
00:41:32,087 --> 00:41:35,025
( triumphant theme swells )
870
00:41:37,533 --> 00:41:39,235
( sneezes )
871
00:41:44,885 --> 00:41:46,820
( light-hearted theme playing )
872
00:41:49,330 --> 00:41:52,814
Don't you people
have anything to do?
873
00:41:52,838 --> 00:41:54,119
Mr. Smith. Sir?
874
00:41:54,143 --> 00:41:56,879
Gopher, get a haircut.
875
00:42:01,726 --> 00:42:03,029
( all chuckle )
876
00:42:06,204 --> 00:42:08,141
( upbeat theme playing )
877
00:42:16,898 --> 00:42:18,110
Oh, wow.
878
00:42:18,134 --> 00:42:20,250
I hate to say this, but
I guess it's goodbye.
879
00:42:20,275 --> 00:42:21,686
Oh, it's not goodbye.
880
00:42:21,710 --> 00:42:25,429
It's just, um, hasta la vista.
881
00:42:25,453 --> 00:42:26,731
We'll see each other again.
882
00:42:26,755 --> 00:42:29,238
I hope so. You
know, without you,
883
00:42:29,262 --> 00:42:30,844
this cruise would
have been a disaster.
884
00:42:30,868 --> 00:42:34,251
Oh, at first I thought you
wouldn't approve of me.
885
00:42:34,275 --> 00:42:36,556
Well, you know,
the way I carry on.
886
00:42:36,580 --> 00:42:40,033
But I say live, taste life,
887
00:42:40,057 --> 00:42:42,300
and don't let anybody
tell you what to do.
888
00:42:43,665 --> 00:42:44,912
You're one of a kind.
889
00:42:44,936 --> 00:42:46,246
Ain't I just.
890
00:42:46,270 --> 00:42:47,919
( both laugh )
891
00:42:47,943 --> 00:42:49,712
Mommy, Mommy!
892
00:42:51,317 --> 00:42:53,299
Oh, my babies.
893
00:42:53,323 --> 00:42:55,905
Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
894
00:42:55,929 --> 00:42:57,409
How are you? Ohhhh!
895
00:42:57,433 --> 00:42:59,918
Here, you take these
for Mommy, okay?
896
00:43:05,152 --> 00:43:06,798
Ah, we did it.
897
00:43:06,822 --> 00:43:08,737
Yes, we got through this cruise.
898
00:43:08,761 --> 00:43:11,276
Boy, talk about
survivors of the Titanic.
899
00:43:11,301 --> 00:43:13,115
We actually lived
through Hurricane Stacy.
900
00:43:13,139 --> 00:43:14,250
Mm. Ha.
901
00:43:14,274 --> 00:43:15,955
Julie. Julie, thank
you for everything.
902
00:43:15,979 --> 00:43:17,625
We had a wonderful time.
903
00:43:17,649 --> 00:43:20,133
Well, you certainly captured
the floating vote, congressman.
904
00:43:20,157 --> 00:43:21,636
( laughs )
905
00:43:21,660 --> 00:43:23,375
I see my prescription worked.
906
00:43:23,399 --> 00:43:25,446
Yes. Next picture you see me in
907
00:43:25,470 --> 00:43:27,015
is gonna be a wedding picture.
908
00:43:27,039 --> 00:43:29,188
Congratulations.
909
00:43:29,212 --> 00:43:30,225
Thank you.
910
00:43:30,249 --> 00:43:31,727
Bye. Bye-bye.
911
00:43:31,751 --> 00:43:33,132
Thank you.
912
00:43:33,156 --> 00:43:36,238
Excuse me, miss, you need
some help with your bags?
913
00:43:36,262 --> 00:43:40,150
Oh, no, thank you.
I... Ronald. Oh...!
914
00:43:40,174 --> 00:43:42,109
( both laughing )
915
00:43:48,694 --> 00:43:51,577
Whee! I almost thought
I forgot how to do that.
916
00:43:51,601 --> 00:43:53,884
Take my word, you didn't forget.
917
00:43:53,908 --> 00:43:56,611
One more time.
918
00:44:01,425 --> 00:44:03,474
For you, my lovely young lady.
919
00:44:03,498 --> 00:44:05,446
Oh, Ronald, they're beautiful.
920
00:44:05,470 --> 00:44:06,581
Thank you.
921
00:44:06,605 --> 00:44:08,019
Yeah, if you put
'em in some water,
922
00:44:08,043 --> 00:44:11,292
maybe you can use 'em as
part of your bridal bouquet.
923
00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:13,098
What? That's right.
924
00:44:13,122 --> 00:44:15,070
Maybe I've been out
here in the sun too long,
925
00:44:15,094 --> 00:44:19,447
but Ginny O'Brien, I am
ready to give marriage a try.
926
00:44:19,471 --> 00:44:21,719
Well, Ronald... Now,
you just name the place
927
00:44:21,743 --> 00:44:26,464
and time you wanna
become Mrs. Ronald Baker.
928
00:44:26,488 --> 00:44:28,970
Well, I have... Now,
I cannot guarantee
929
00:44:28,994 --> 00:44:30,975
you the moon, but
I can guarantee you
930
00:44:30,999 --> 00:44:32,747
a lifetime warranty
against bugs.
931
00:44:32,771 --> 00:44:35,388
Oh, listen, Ronald, I've been
doing a lot of thinking too,
932
00:44:35,412 --> 00:44:36,889
and I think your way is best.
933
00:44:36,913 --> 00:44:39,532
Why don't we just keep
living together, okay?
934
00:44:39,556 --> 00:44:40,800
You mean that?
935
00:44:40,824 --> 00:44:42,472
Absolutely.
936
00:44:42,496 --> 00:44:47,850
Oh, wow! Wow! Thank
you, big fella. Thank...
937
00:44:47,874 --> 00:44:49,589
What...? What made
you change your mind?
938
00:44:49,613 --> 00:44:52,919
Well, I guess it was the
last two nights on the cruise.
939
00:44:54,859 --> 00:44:56,439
( clears throat )
940
00:44:56,463 --> 00:44:59,336
The last two nights
on the cruise?
941
00:45:01,208 --> 00:45:04,560
What happened the last
two nights on the cruise?
942
00:45:04,584 --> 00:45:06,931
Oh, nothing, really.
943
00:45:06,955 --> 00:45:10,208
A girl changes her whole
line of thinking and she says,
944
00:45:10,232 --> 00:45:12,112
"Oh, nothing, really"?
945
00:45:12,136 --> 00:45:15,754
Oh, look, it was just, I
found out you were right.
946
00:45:15,778 --> 00:45:17,625
I mean, about freedom.
947
00:45:17,649 --> 00:45:20,132
I found out I like
having my freedom.
948
00:45:20,156 --> 00:45:25,580
And, uh, what kind of
freedom you, uh, talking about?
949
00:45:25,604 --> 00:45:28,653
The same kind of
freedom you talking about.
950
00:45:28,677 --> 00:45:30,459
That kind of freedom?
951
00:45:30,483 --> 00:45:33,265
No-ho-ho-ho-ho way.
952
00:45:33,289 --> 00:45:37,073
Oh, look, maybe it's just
the freedom to not feel guilty
953
00:45:37,097 --> 00:45:39,011
about enjoying a little
freedom, you know?
954
00:45:39,035 --> 00:45:41,518
But I wanna get married!
955
00:45:41,542 --> 00:45:45,262
Oh, Ronald.
956
00:45:45,286 --> 00:45:47,634
Well, look, let's go
home and discuss it.
957
00:45:47,658 --> 00:45:50,073
"Oh, nothing, really."
958
00:45:50,097 --> 00:45:51,677
I don't believe this.
959
00:45:51,701 --> 00:45:54,317
We were cooking. I been
chasing you on boats, planes.
960
00:45:54,341 --> 00:45:56,856
Here I am in my truck, you
know, I'll kill for less than this,
961
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,531
and now you gone crazy,
telling me you want your freedom.
962
00:45:59,555 --> 00:46:01,502
Even the bugs that I kill
don't have their freedom.
963
00:46:01,526 --> 00:46:02,839
Get in the truck there, Mama.
964
00:46:02,863 --> 00:46:05,106
I should sit you right
up there with my man...
965
00:46:09,077 --> 00:46:12,015
( upbeat theme playing )
966
00:46:33,773 --> 00:46:35,887
May I have a word
with your wife?
967
00:46:35,911 --> 00:46:37,791
What do you want?
968
00:46:37,815 --> 00:46:39,419
Please.
969
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:55,034
Merrill, what do you want?
970
00:46:55,058 --> 00:46:58,109
I want to apologize for
being so harsh to you.
971
00:46:58,133 --> 00:46:59,414
Oh?
972
00:46:59,438 --> 00:47:03,524
Yes, for what happened
on the deck two nights ago,
973
00:47:03,548 --> 00:47:06,350
and for what happened
to our life ten years ago.
974
00:47:07,791 --> 00:47:09,070
Come again?
975
00:47:09,094 --> 00:47:11,576
You're a wonderful woman, Stacy.
976
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,983
You deserved a much
better husband than I was.
977
00:47:14,007 --> 00:47:18,360
I tried, but I wanted
to command ships
978
00:47:18,384 --> 00:47:20,433
more than I wanted
to make you happy.
979
00:47:20,457 --> 00:47:23,406
( poignant theme playing )
980
00:47:23,431 --> 00:47:25,534
And that's it.
981
00:47:31,415 --> 00:47:35,837
Well, life with me couldn't
have been much of a picnic.
982
00:47:35,861 --> 00:47:38,076
No, no, it was my fault.
983
00:47:38,100 --> 00:47:42,755
All you got was a husband at
sea and a name that you hated.
984
00:47:42,779 --> 00:47:44,047
( chuckles )
985
00:47:46,052 --> 00:47:47,120
I'm sorry.
986
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:58,894
Captain, I couldn't
find one important thing
987
00:47:58,918 --> 00:48:00,086
wrong with your ship.
988
00:48:01,725 --> 00:48:03,541
You are a hell of a commander.
989
00:48:03,565 --> 00:48:04,999
Why, thank you.
990
00:48:07,071 --> 00:48:11,660
I hope that you're
happy with, um...
991
00:48:11,684 --> 00:48:12,663
Aubrey.
992
00:48:12,687 --> 00:48:13,799
Aubrey.
993
00:48:13,823 --> 00:48:15,302
He's a nice man.
994
00:48:15,326 --> 00:48:17,908
He doesn't have your... panache.
995
00:48:17,932 --> 00:48:19,747
( laughs )
996
00:48:19,771 --> 00:48:21,685
But he does stay home.
997
00:48:21,709 --> 00:48:25,294
There is one awful thing.
998
00:48:25,318 --> 00:48:27,130
What's that?
999
00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:29,572
You know how I hated
the name Stacy Stubing?
1000
00:48:29,596 --> 00:48:31,207
Oh-ho-ho-ho. Hm.
1001
00:48:31,231 --> 00:48:35,151
Well, I can't even
pronounce Stacy Skaugskag.
1002
00:48:35,175 --> 00:48:37,056
Skacy Skaugsgag.
1003
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,586
Stacy Skaugstad.
1004
00:48:42,159 --> 00:48:46,112
Lord, I love a
silver-tongued man.
1005
00:48:46,135 --> 00:48:48,038
( chuckles )
1006
00:48:49,613 --> 00:48:50,614
Goodbye, Merrill.
1007
00:48:52,553 --> 00:48:53,665
Goodbye, Stacy.
1008
00:48:53,689 --> 00:48:56,627
( triumphant theme playing )
1009
00:49:08,024 --> 00:49:09,336
MAN ( over PA ):
Captain Stubing.
1010
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:11,565
Captain Stubing, please
come to the bridge.
1011
00:49:13,873 --> 00:49:16,811
( triumphant theme swells )
1012
00:49:22,662 --> 00:49:24,665
( upbeat theme playing )
71158
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