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1
00:00:03,856 --> 00:00:07,933
Now, what if I seat Stan
next to Greg?
2
00:00:08,315 --> 00:00:11,158
It's aggressive,
it's bold, and I love it.
3
00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:14,252
Francine, may I just say,
using custom chess pieces
4
00:00:14,338 --> 00:00:15,637
to plan a dinner party...
5
00:00:15,894 --> 00:00:17,454
I'm having the time of my life.
6
00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:18,887
Well, I'm not.
7
00:00:18,974 --> 00:00:20,682
No matter how I play it out,
8
00:00:20,762 --> 00:00:22,753
three or four moves
down the line,
9
00:00:22,837 --> 00:00:26,555
Klaus ruins my party
by talking about Dan Bilzerian
10
00:00:26,641 --> 00:00:30,115
or 3-D printed guns
or something else douchey.
11
00:00:30,201 --> 00:00:31,719
I need to go deeper.
12
00:00:31,804 --> 00:00:34,145
Horse tranquilizer,
m'lady?
13
00:00:42,599 --> 00:00:44,950
Oookay!
14
00:00:45,122 --> 00:00:46,957
Tuttle mingles with you...
15
00:00:47,061 --> 00:00:48,785
Genius move, Francine.
16
00:00:48,870 --> 00:00:50,926
I could see us talkin'
a little dog racing.
17
00:00:51,011 --> 00:00:53,255
But look over here
at Parker deay.
18
00:00:53,340 --> 00:00:55,979
Parker... Parker...
Who is that?
19
00:00:56,064 --> 00:00:57,820
Screams "zooka sharks"
a lot.
20
00:00:57,904 --> 00:00:59,293
The guy who takes
tinder dates out
21
00:00:59,384 --> 00:01:01,269
for hot-dog dinners
at 7-Eleven?
22
00:01:01,354 --> 00:01:03,800
Love him.
Okay, let's play this out.
23
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:05,449
Good, good!
24
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:08,019
Your eyes are sliding around,
so I assume it's working.
25
00:01:08,104 --> 00:01:09,665
Bacon-wrapped dates!
26
00:01:09,749 --> 00:01:12,621
Lava hot and wrapped real loose!
27
00:01:13,267 --> 00:01:15,118
- Where did everyone go?
- They left.
28
00:01:15,203 --> 00:01:17,301
Klaus changed
your spotify playlist
29
00:01:17,387 --> 00:01:19,905
to a Marc maron
podcast from 2015.
30
00:01:19,989 --> 00:01:22,448
Ohhh, this one
is classic!
31
00:01:22,532 --> 00:01:25,594
His guest is a comedian
you've never heard of.
32
00:01:25,678 --> 00:01:27,784
Classic!
33
00:01:30,675 --> 00:01:33,531
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
34
00:01:33,617 --> 00:01:37,028
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
35
00:01:37,211 --> 00:01:40,049
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
36
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:44,714
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
37
00:01:46,499 --> 00:01:49,320
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
38
00:01:49,405 --> 00:01:52,213
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
39
00:01:52,299 --> 00:01:53,384
Aah!
40
00:01:54,954 --> 00:01:57,811
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
*AMERICAN DAD *
41
00:01:57,895 --> 00:01:59,521
Season 17 Episode 07
AIRED ON: March 07, 2022. 00:02:01,532
Mom, your guests
are arriving!
43
00:02:01,616 --> 00:02:02,870
One second!
44
00:02:02,954 --> 00:02:05,667
Just finishing up
the table assignments!
45
00:02:05,752 --> 00:02:10,530
Greg goes here, tuttle here,
and Klaus sits here.
46
00:02:10,717 --> 00:02:13,231
He-he-he-he-he.
47
00:02:14,933 --> 00:02:16,991
Welcome to
my dinner party!
48
00:02:17,075 --> 00:02:19,630
It's wonderful to see you
all again.
49
00:02:19,716 --> 00:02:22,910
But maybe some of you don't know
Hayley's friend nerfer.
50
00:02:23,057 --> 00:02:25,917
Don't just stand there,
introduce yourself.
51
00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:28,567
I'm nerfer.
I'm Hayley's friend.
52
00:02:28,679 --> 00:02:31,111
I already said that.
What else?
53
00:02:31,195 --> 00:02:33,118
I work at
the old spaghetti factory,
54
00:02:33,203 --> 00:02:35,733
but the new location,
which is pretty hilarious,
55
00:02:35,818 --> 00:02:38,606
because old and new
are opposite words.
56
00:02:38,690 --> 00:02:41,686
Okay, that's enough.
You can listen, too.
57
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:43,575
Let's eat!
58
00:02:44,513 --> 00:02:47,255
The salad looks delicious.
Nice produce.
59
00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:49,314
- Is this from my store?
- God, no.
60
00:02:49,399 --> 00:02:51,357
But this tomato
looks so familiar.
61
00:02:51,442 --> 00:02:53,786
Look, I didn't steal it
from your store on Tuesday!
62
00:02:53,871 --> 00:02:55,471
Francine, you need
to do something.
63
00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:58,125
Klaus's table is turning
into the damn last supper.
64
00:02:58,285 --> 00:03:01,494
You hear "Bermuda triangle"
and you think "whoa,"
65
00:03:01,608 --> 00:03:04,288
But it really is
a beautiful area.
66
00:03:04,389 --> 00:03:05,896
It's crazy lush.
67
00:03:05,982 --> 00:03:07,517
I never thought
of it that way.
68
00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:09,659
That's so
interesting, Klaus!
69
00:03:09,743 --> 00:03:12,502
The world's a big,
interesting place.
70
00:03:12,587 --> 00:03:14,669
I just try to keep
my eyes open, you know?
71
00:03:14,754 --> 00:03:17,489
Ooh! Would you do your
will arnett impression again?
72
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:20,721
I really shouldn't...
"oh, come on!"
73
00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:25,201
Is everybody
laughing at Klaus?
74
00:03:25,286 --> 00:03:27,461
No, we're laughing
with Klaus.
75
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:32,413
So, you dogs are hungry
for laughs?
76
00:03:32,497 --> 00:03:35,924
Well, roll over.
You got a bone coming your way.
77
00:03:36,572 --> 00:03:39,968
Hello.
I'm Mrs Walrus.
78
00:03:40,123 --> 00:03:42,425
Anyone have any fish for me?
79
00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:45,285
Are those tampons
in your mouth?
80
00:03:46,041 --> 00:03:47,715
Oh, tamp on!
81
00:03:55,987 --> 00:03:57,710
He winked at me, Stan!
82
00:03:57,795 --> 00:04:00,387
That little asshole
winked!
83
00:04:00,471 --> 00:04:01,792
At me!
Who winked?
84
00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:05,206
Klaus!
He ruined my dinner party!
85
00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:07,347
- He did?
- Of course he did!
86
00:04:07,431 --> 00:04:09,798
He monopolized
every conversation
87
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,080
I tried to butt into!
88
00:04:11,166 --> 00:04:13,278
Well, he's been working
on his people skills.
89
00:04:13,363 --> 00:04:15,376
I think everybody
really likes the new Klaus.
90
00:04:15,462 --> 00:04:18,434
Yeah, I'd like
to "nuke Klaus," too.
91
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:21,223
All the way ****
Back to the stone age.
92
00:04:21,308 --> 00:04:22,807
Sounds like you're
a little jealous Klaus
93
00:04:22,891 --> 00:04:24,702
got all the attention
at your party.
94
00:04:24,787 --> 00:04:26,108
Oh, yeah?
95
00:04:26,193 --> 00:04:29,571
Well, it sounds like you're
wasting dental floss, you idiot!
96
00:04:32,327 --> 00:04:35,872
I'm sorry I said
you were upset, my love.
97
00:04:40,248 --> 00:04:41,953
Help me out
with something, guys.
98
00:04:42,038 --> 00:04:43,293
Klaus sucks, right?
99
00:04:43,443 --> 00:04:45,300
I'm gonna have to
reluctantly disagree.
100
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,649
Have you talked to him
about early cartoons?
101
00:04:47,734 --> 00:04:49,172
He's super knowledgeable.
102
00:04:49,258 --> 00:04:52,469
He's seen basically
every pluto short on disney+.
103
00:04:52,554 --> 00:04:54,477
And all
the goofy features.
104
00:04:54,563 --> 00:04:56,334
And all
the goofy features.
105
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,756
Why's everyone obsessed
with Klaus?
106
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:03,764
I wouldn't say
"obsessed."
107
00:05:03,848 --> 00:05:06,605
He's just... I dunno...
Likable, I guess.
108
00:05:06,690 --> 00:05:08,547
Have you heard him rap?
He's pretty good.
109
00:05:08,746 --> 00:05:11,593
♪ But you are what you eat,
so I'm a vagina ♪
110
00:05:11,677 --> 00:05:13,467
♪ That means I eat ♪
111
00:05:13,551 --> 00:05:15,810
The guy's
an urban poet.
112
00:05:15,894 --> 00:05:17,215
Nobody likes you, Klaus.
113
00:05:17,299 --> 00:05:20,203
Oh, hey, Francine.
Sick dinner party last night.
114
00:05:20,299 --> 00:05:22,349
I don't know
what all "this" is,
115
00:05:22,435 --> 00:05:24,911
but I want it to stop
right now.
116
00:05:24,995 --> 00:05:27,387
Ah. Stan told me
you were upset.
117
00:05:27,517 --> 00:05:30,290
Look, I know I used to be
a real piece of shit.
118
00:05:30,375 --> 00:05:31,495
Guilty!
119
00:05:31,583 --> 00:05:34,109
But, Francine,
I've grown a lot.
120
00:05:34,297 --> 00:05:37,359
Oh, wow, got
a giant sequoia over here.
121
00:05:37,443 --> 00:05:41,724
All right, Mr. Growth, I'm gonna
throw a real party tomorrow.
122
00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:44,861
A real party
for bad bitches.
123
00:05:44,947 --> 00:05:47,387
We'll see who gets
more attention.
124
00:05:49,796 --> 00:05:52,188
What the
Am I looking at?
125
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:57,452
Now this is a party.
126
00:05:57,537 --> 00:06:00,330
Everyone, give me
your attention!
127
00:06:00,598 --> 00:06:02,082
I think we can all agree
128
00:06:02,266 --> 00:06:04,726
Last night's dinner party
was terrible.
129
00:06:04,882 --> 00:06:06,336
Aw, I liked
your dinner party.
130
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:09,157
No, you didn't, Greg.
I'll tell you what you like.
131
00:06:09,242 --> 00:06:10,563
Keg stands!
132
00:06:10,709 --> 00:06:12,029
No, I'd rather not.
133
00:06:12,115 --> 00:06:13,771
Grab his
other leg, Roger.
134
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:18,872
Uh-oh!
135
00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:20,390
The tap's broken!
136
00:06:20,474 --> 00:06:22,933
You gotta drink
the whole keg!
137
00:06:23,018 --> 00:06:24,072
It's not broken!
138
00:06:24,156 --> 00:06:25,879
Shut up,
freshman scum!
139
00:06:25,963 --> 00:06:29,240
Ummm, franny...?
140
00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:33,227
Wow!
141
00:06:33,391 --> 00:06:34,979
Is this mahogany?
142
00:06:35,064 --> 00:06:37,590
Thanks for noticing, tuttle.
It's not.
143
00:06:37,674 --> 00:06:40,467
Oh, nerfer, the other night,
you mentioned you like
144
00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:43,479
Hoppy Ipas,
so I whipped up a home brew
145
00:06:43,563 --> 00:06:44,884
I think you'll enjoy.
146
00:06:44,968 --> 00:06:46,490
That's hecka posh.
147
00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:49,742
Tuttle, nerfer,
what the hell?!
148
00:06:49,922 --> 00:06:51,310
This is my party!
149
00:06:51,395 --> 00:06:53,386
You're supposed to be
paying attention to me!
150
00:06:53,669 --> 00:06:55,909
Klaus is more interesting
than you, okay?!
151
00:06:55,997 --> 00:06:57,532
You need to learn
to accept that!
152
00:06:57,617 --> 00:07:01,146
I didn't want to do this,
but you left me no choice.
153
00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:03,823
Gimme those!
154
00:07:03,908 --> 00:07:06,233
Everyone look at me!
155
00:07:06,524 --> 00:07:09,852
The amah-zing Francine
will attempt
156
00:07:09,966 --> 00:07:14,732
a never-before-seen
roof-to-pool jump!
157
00:07:14,816 --> 00:07:15,669
Is mom okay?
158
00:07:15,753 --> 00:07:17,275
Oh, yeah,
better than ever.
159
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,952
Women are complicated, Steve.
Don't drink that.
160
00:07:20,036 --> 00:07:21,447
I'm gonna leave.
161
00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:22,988
I'm gonna
take off, too.
162
00:07:23,247 --> 00:07:25,305
Is everyone
okay to drive?
163
00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:28,049
I can call each of you
a vintage yellow cab.
164
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:29,187
Shut up, Klaus!
165
00:07:29,271 --> 00:07:30,997
Nobody's leaving!
166
00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:32,738
I'm about to jump!
167
00:07:32,899 --> 00:07:34,421
3...
168
00:07:34,506 --> 00:07:35,960
2...
169
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:43,152
Well, at least she still
has her dignity.
170
00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:46,118
I pooped my swimsuit!
171
00:07:46,203 --> 00:07:48,410
I stand by my
previous statement.
172
00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:56,602
Easy now.
You had quite a fall.
173
00:07:56,687 --> 00:08:00,016
I saw them.
My ancestors!
174
00:08:00,358 --> 00:08:04,422
All my dear,
departed loved ones who died.
175
00:08:04,506 --> 00:08:05,694
They spoke to me.
176
00:08:05,778 --> 00:08:07,835
They told me they were
just as confused
177
00:08:07,919 --> 00:08:10,312
as I was
why anybody likes you.
178
00:08:10,396 --> 00:08:11,985
Even the caveman Francine!
179
00:08:12,069 --> 00:08:15,532
People like me because
I work on myself, Francine.
180
00:08:15,616 --> 00:08:17,673
I've been following a strict
lifestyle regimen
181
00:08:17,757 --> 00:08:19,748
developed by Mark Wahlberg.
182
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,756
It forces me
to grow physically,
183
00:08:21,841 --> 00:08:25,704
mentally, spiritually,
metaphysically, metaspiritually,
184
00:08:25,788 --> 00:08:28,649
Super-meta-spiri-physi-
tastically!
185
00:08:28,733 --> 00:08:31,124
Okay, I made that one up
as a joke.
186
00:08:31,208 --> 00:08:32,731
I'm funny now, too.
187
00:08:32,815 --> 00:08:35,843
I can't believe I'm asking
you this, but...
188
00:08:36,027 --> 00:08:38,352
Will you teach me
how to grow, too?
189
00:08:38,437 --> 00:08:40,962
Of course! Congrats!
190
00:08:41,046 --> 00:08:43,773
You're officially enrolled
in Klaus college,
191
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,097
a satellite campus
of wahlberg u.
192
00:08:50,550 --> 00:08:52,840
Klaus, it's 2:00 A.M.
193
00:08:52,925 --> 00:08:55,953
You're on
wahlberg time now.
194
00:08:56,038 --> 00:08:58,228
As you can see,
the schedule is rigorous.
195
00:08:58,312 --> 00:09:00,838
You'll start and end the day
with a 5-mile run.
196
00:09:00,922 --> 00:09:03,181
In between, you'll be
reading self-help books,
197
00:09:03,265 --> 00:09:05,189
meditating,
belting out sea shanties,
198
00:09:05,273 --> 00:09:07,531
Learning basic it,
more shanties,
199
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,007
Eating wahlburgers,
mastering krav maga,
200
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:13,354
And you might even cook
an exotic dish or two.
201
00:09:13,438 --> 00:09:14,826
This is crazy.
202
00:09:14,910 --> 00:09:17,235
There's no way Mark Wahlberg
does all that.
203
00:09:17,319 --> 00:09:18,506
And then some.
204
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,647
He's a big ol' catholic!
205
00:09:20,732 --> 00:09:22,589
Hits up mass
17 times a day
206
00:09:22,673 --> 00:09:26,987
And leaves a DVD copy of
"shooter" in every Bible.
207
00:09:27,684 --> 00:09:29,338
♪ Yeah ♪
208
00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:31,088
♪ You feel it, baby? ♪
209
00:09:31,172 --> 00:09:32,398
♪ It's such a good vibration ♪
210
00:09:32,482 --> 00:09:34,234
Pick it up!
Be like me!
211
00:09:34,318 --> 00:09:35,907
Body and mind are one!
212
00:09:35,991 --> 00:09:37,579
♪ It's such a sweet sensation ♪
213
00:09:40,073 --> 00:09:41,996
♪ Vibrations good like sunkist ♪
214
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,402
♪ Many wanna know
who done this ♪
215
00:09:43,486 --> 00:09:45,075
♪ Marky Mark and I'm here
to move you ♪
216
00:09:45,159 --> 00:09:46,346
♪ Rhymes will groove you ♪
217
00:09:46,431 --> 00:09:48,220
♪ And I'm here to prove to you ♪
bang.
218
00:09:48,304 --> 00:09:50,027
♪ That we can party
on the positive side ♪
219
00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:51,257
♪ And pump positive vibes
so come along for the ride ♪
220
00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:53,191
These burgers
are terrible.
221
00:09:53,391 --> 00:09:54,845
Yes. Very, very bad.
222
00:09:54,930 --> 00:09:56,988
♪ It's such a sweet sensation ♪
223
00:09:57,072 --> 00:09:58,727
Francine, what
are you doing?
224
00:09:58,812 --> 00:10:01,137
I'm becoming
more interesting...
225
00:10:01,222 --> 00:10:03,814
Like Klaus...
And Mark Wahlberg.
226
00:10:03,898 --> 00:10:05,955
Are you crazy?
Klaus sucks!
227
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,628
I'm sending you something
to remind you
228
00:10:07,712 --> 00:10:08,833
what a loser Klaus is.
229
00:10:10,256 --> 00:10:11,671
Klaus: Welcome back to
230
00:10:11,756 --> 00:10:14,052
My podcast, "Klaus of hearts,"
231
00:10:14,137 --> 00:10:15,993
Where we explore
every interaction
232
00:10:16,078 --> 00:10:18,335
I've had with a woman
at a Blackjack table.
233
00:10:18,419 --> 00:10:21,146
Today, we'll be looking
at pechanga casino
234
00:10:21,230 --> 00:10:24,158
on Christmas Eve,
where dealer Janice f.
235
00:10:24,242 --> 00:10:27,432
Refused to answer the simple
icebreaker question,
236
00:10:27,655 --> 00:10:30,721
"don't you think it's time
to forgive Kevin spacey?"
237
00:10:31,348 --> 00:10:33,250
Klaus, where are you?
238
00:10:33,345 --> 00:10:35,963
I'm returning
your self-help books!
239
00:10:36,058 --> 00:10:40,338
I came to my senses
and realize you suck again!
240
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:54,885
Off-brand soda, off-brand
Maxim magazine, filthy recliner?
241
00:10:55,265 --> 00:10:57,188
I knew it!
242
00:10:57,289 --> 00:10:59,212
You haven't changed, Klaus!
243
00:10:59,377 --> 00:11:01,903
You're a big phony scumbag!
244
00:11:01,987 --> 00:11:03,643
Oh, hi, Francine.
245
00:11:03,727 --> 00:11:05,182
Jeffrey, I'm about to reveal
246
00:11:05,266 --> 00:11:06,253
my sinister plan.
247
00:11:06,337 --> 00:11:08,461
Is my fedora
rakishly askew?
248
00:11:08,546 --> 00:11:11,607
It's a strong look,
Mr. Klaus!
249
00:11:11,691 --> 00:11:12,945
I think it's hideous.
250
00:11:13,029 --> 00:11:14,551
Aaaah!
251
00:11:18,116 --> 00:11:19,972
So, what?
252
00:11:20,056 --> 00:11:21,980
You hypnotized Jeff
or something?
253
00:11:22,064 --> 00:11:24,188
Is it that obvious?
254
00:11:25,276 --> 00:11:26,999
I'm over this.
255
00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:28,070
No, wait!
256
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:30,278
Okay, long story short,
257
00:11:30,362 --> 00:11:33,223
I learned to control people
using a technique
258
00:11:33,307 --> 00:11:35,230
called
"hypnotic anchoring."
259
00:11:35,314 --> 00:11:36,770
Sounds boring,
and I don't get it.
260
00:11:36,854 --> 00:11:39,112
All right.
How do I explain this?
261
00:11:39,196 --> 00:11:40,719
Have you seen the movie
"get out"?
262
00:11:40,803 --> 00:11:41,856
No.
Really?
263
00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:43,462
Have you seen
"parasite"?
264
00:11:43,546 --> 00:11:45,135
- Yeah.
- Good.
265
00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:47,477
Not relevant here,
but I'm glad you saw it.
266
00:11:47,561 --> 00:11:49,084
Bong joon-ho, man.
267
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:50,489
So sick.
268
00:11:50,573 --> 00:11:53,166
Anyways, I hypnotized people
to love me.
269
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:55,107
Take Jeff, for example.
270
00:11:55,191 --> 00:11:57,650
First, I learned all about Jeff.
271
00:11:57,734 --> 00:11:59,925
What makes him "tick,"
so to speak.
272
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,803
And I discovered
that Jeff really likes weed.
273
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,208
I do!
274
00:12:04,293 --> 00:12:07,956
So I filled my notebook
with fun facts and jokes
275
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,495
about marijuana.
276
00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:12,239
Stuff that would
make Jeff smile.
277
00:12:12,323 --> 00:12:14,649
And every time he did...
278
00:12:16,272 --> 00:12:19,066
And after several hundred
of those...
279
00:12:19,150 --> 00:12:20,738
who do ya love, Jeff?
280
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,278
I love Klaus!
281
00:12:22,362 --> 00:12:26,896
Soon, everyone in town
will think I'm so cool,
282
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,438
they'll be under
my absolute control.
283
00:12:29,522 --> 00:12:33,788
This is bogus, and I'm telling
Stan about your secret lair.
284
00:12:33,873 --> 00:12:38,139
Hypnotizing you was my greatest
challenge, by far.
285
00:12:38,223 --> 00:12:42,020
You resent me so much,
I couldn't crack your psyche.
286
00:12:42,104 --> 00:12:45,433
So I looked to ultimate
mind-bender Mark Wahlberg
287
00:12:45,518 --> 00:12:47,039
for inspiration.
288
00:12:47,123 --> 00:12:48,511
I'm not hypnotized.
289
00:12:48,595 --> 00:12:50,385
Remember this guy?
290
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,858
Oh, my god!
291
00:12:54,284 --> 00:12:57,546
Now, tell me, Francine...
292
00:12:57,630 --> 00:12:59,688
how do I look?
293
00:12:59,772 --> 00:13:05,777
Klaus, I am loving
your stupid fedora!
294
00:13:05,861 --> 00:13:08,455
Mmm.
A little more hypnosis.
295
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,431
What's happening?!
296
00:13:19,515 --> 00:13:21,571
Francine, you're back!
297
00:13:21,655 --> 00:13:23,647
Where am I?
You're in a cowboy tub.
298
00:13:23,731 --> 00:13:26,859
I got us an airbnb,
far away from Klaus.
299
00:13:26,943 --> 00:13:28,063
Come inside.
300
00:13:28,148 --> 00:13:29,803
They've got a ton
of incomplete board games.
301
00:13:29,887 --> 00:13:31,878
You like "trivial pursuit"
without the questions?
302
00:13:31,962 --> 00:13:33,485
Where's the rest
of the family?
303
00:13:33,569 --> 00:13:35,224
Oh, Francine,
it's terrible.
304
00:13:35,308 --> 00:13:37,098
You were right about Klaus
the whole time.
305
00:13:37,182 --> 00:13:38,704
He hypnotized them all!
306
00:13:38,789 --> 00:13:40,512
Where are they?
Are they okay?
307
00:13:40,596 --> 00:13:41,983
I don't know.
I only had room
308
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:43,656
For one of you
and my luggage.
309
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,932
Roger, we need
to go save them.
310
00:13:46,016 --> 00:13:48,274
It's just the desert is
so hot during the day
311
00:13:48,358 --> 00:13:50,751
and so cold at night,
it's like having to pack
312
00:13:50,835 --> 00:13:52,892
for both the beach
and skiing!
313
00:13:52,976 --> 00:13:54,766
I probably didn't need
the snowboard, though.
314
00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:56,505
That could've been Steve,
I guess.
315
00:13:56,589 --> 00:13:58,312
I guess I could've fit
Hayley, too.
316
00:13:58,396 --> 00:13:59,651
Weird.
317
00:13:59,735 --> 00:14:02,997
I don't remember any
border checkpoints before.
318
00:14:03,645 --> 00:14:05,835
State your business
in Langley falls.
319
00:14:05,923 --> 00:14:07,146
We live here?
320
00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:08,820
Better let me
handle this, Fran.
321
00:14:08,904 --> 00:14:12,098
Hi, sir! Just so you know,
we love Klaus so much.
322
00:14:12,182 --> 00:14:14,240
Klaus is the best,
is what we say.
323
00:14:14,325 --> 00:14:17,786
The only reason we left Langley
was to spread word of Klaus.
324
00:14:17,871 --> 00:14:21,016
In summary,
we Love Klaus.
325
00:14:29,114 --> 00:14:31,105
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
326
00:14:31,189 --> 00:14:33,447
♪ I wanna marry Klaus
some more! ♪
327
00:14:33,531 --> 00:14:35,856
What the wtf?
328
00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:37,597
They wanna marry Klaus?
329
00:14:37,681 --> 00:14:40,408
Some more?!
That's gross!
330
00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:44,489
You're gross!
331
00:14:44,573 --> 00:14:45,560
Drive, drive!
332
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,508
Did you hear me
call them "gross"?
333
00:14:49,593 --> 00:14:50,781
Was that cool?
334
00:14:50,865 --> 00:14:52,921
I feel like I'm starring
in "Jackass"!
335
00:14:53,005 --> 00:14:54,662
Watch out!
336
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,909
There are few things
in this world
337
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:09,184
I hate more
than traveling by foot.
338
00:15:10,407 --> 00:15:12,597
It's your
favorite dude, Klaus,
339
00:15:12,681 --> 00:15:16,327
telling you to have
a blessed day.
340
00:15:19,105 --> 00:15:22,234
Is that Klaus on TV?
341
00:15:22,318 --> 00:15:23,974
Langley is better
than ever, Klaus.
342
00:15:24,058 --> 00:15:25,581
Why is that?
343
00:15:25,665 --> 00:15:28,124
Well, Greg, I made everyone
think I'm cooler now,
344
00:15:28,208 --> 00:15:30,265
and the town is cooler
as a result.
345
00:15:30,349 --> 00:15:33,009
I don't think you're cooler.
What?
346
00:15:33,093 --> 00:15:35,151
I think
you're the coolest.
347
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:38,028
Wonderful, wonderful!
348
00:15:38,112 --> 00:15:39,835
Do you see
what he did there?
349
00:15:39,919 --> 00:15:41,524
Still, I don't like it.
350
00:15:45,541 --> 00:15:48,000
Damn, he's hypnotized
everybody.
351
00:15:48,084 --> 00:15:49,471
Be careful, franny.
352
00:15:49,556 --> 00:15:51,144
People might think
you don't love Klaus.
353
00:15:51,228 --> 00:15:52,216
Who doesn't love Klaus?
354
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:53,755
- Francine Smith.
- Roger!
355
00:15:53,839 --> 00:15:56,901
Sorry, franny, but I'm a sucker
for peer pressure.
356
00:15:56,985 --> 00:15:59,358
And the peers
are a-pressurin'.
357
00:16:05,082 --> 00:16:08,193
Klauuuussss!
358
00:16:16,474 --> 00:16:18,640
Guys, I'm back!
359
00:16:19,216 --> 00:16:22,800
Please, Stan, tell me
you haven't fallen for Klaus!
360
00:16:23,238 --> 00:16:26,028
Klaaaaaauuuusss!
361
00:16:26,431 --> 00:16:29,474
Klaaaaaauuuusss!
362
00:16:31,451 --> 00:16:32,973
There she is!
363
00:16:33,057 --> 00:16:36,836
Thank you, boys, for getting
this menace off our streets.
364
00:16:39,950 --> 00:16:41,520
Where'd pink go?
365
00:16:42,559 --> 00:16:44,349
Help!
366
00:16:44,433 --> 00:16:46,692
Keep it down.
You'll scare the cats.
367
00:16:46,776 --> 00:16:49,502
Sorry for the hood.
I had to tidy up a bit.
368
00:16:49,586 --> 00:16:53,384
Trust me, this place
was a disaster.
369
00:16:53,468 --> 00:16:55,124
You live in the sewers?
370
00:16:55,208 --> 00:16:56,730
It's not safe
up there anymore.
371
00:16:56,814 --> 00:16:59,205
Me and beezus just looked
at each other one day,
372
00:16:59,289 --> 00:17:02,887
and we knew it was time
to form the resistance.
373
00:17:03,975 --> 00:17:06,100
So... How's it going?
374
00:17:06,184 --> 00:17:07,638
Pretty good!
375
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:09,713
I sent a team of cats
to breach Klaus's alcove,
376
00:17:09,797 --> 00:17:12,390
and, boy,
did they deliver.
377
00:17:18,096 --> 00:17:19,484
Boop!
378
00:17:19,568 --> 00:17:21,158
These cats are heroes.
379
00:17:21,242 --> 00:17:23,700
Klaus had entries
for everyone in town.
380
00:17:23,784 --> 00:17:26,644
"Francine Smith...
Loves drinking,
381
00:17:26,728 --> 00:17:30,258
jealous streak,
mind-controlled by air horn."
382
00:17:30,343 --> 00:17:32,065
They also found this.
383
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:33,538
It's a failsafe phrase
384
00:17:33,622 --> 00:17:35,880
to deactivate everyone
Klaus hypnotized!
385
00:17:35,965 --> 00:17:38,757
"Enough with
the hypnotism already."
386
00:17:38,842 --> 00:17:41,301
It's a good one.
Fiendishly simple.
387
00:17:41,385 --> 00:17:43,643
If you can hijack Klaus's
broadcast and shout
388
00:17:43,728 --> 00:17:45,651
that phrase,
you'll save the town.
389
00:17:45,735 --> 00:17:49,265
You can count on me.
390
00:17:49,349 --> 00:17:51,674
I have one more question.
391
00:17:51,758 --> 00:17:53,146
May I play
with your cats?
392
00:17:53,231 --> 00:17:57,428
♪ Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma,
Karma chameleon ♪
393
00:17:57,513 --> 00:17:59,452
♪ you come and go ♪
394
00:17:59,589 --> 00:18:04,189
♪ you come and go ♪
395
00:18:09,292 --> 00:18:11,350
Roger was right.
396
00:18:11,434 --> 00:18:13,223
Klaus is the perfect subject.
397
00:18:13,307 --> 00:18:15,431
Enough with
the hypnotism already!
398
00:18:15,516 --> 00:18:17,574
You're back!
399
00:18:18,928 --> 00:18:20,986
I'm scared, mom.
400
00:18:21,070 --> 00:18:22,659
Why was I painting
Klaus?
401
00:18:22,743 --> 00:18:24,868
Because Klaus is
mind-controlling
402
00:18:24,952 --> 00:18:28,080
everyone from the TV studio
in his alcove.
403
00:18:28,165 --> 00:18:32,680
He's ruined the entire town,
and we're gonna stop him.
404
00:18:33,786 --> 00:18:35,643
Enough with
the hypnotism already!
405
00:18:35,727 --> 00:18:36,780
Aah!
406
00:18:36,864 --> 00:18:38,185
That's right, Klaus!
407
00:18:38,269 --> 00:18:40,461
I know how to
deactivate everyone!
408
00:18:41,683 --> 00:18:43,473
Code twenty-niner
in the alcove.
409
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:44,945
Stan, what are you doing?
410
00:18:45,029 --> 00:18:46,685
Calling for backup.
411
00:18:46,769 --> 00:18:49,562
No offense, honey, but hypnosis
showed me how cool Klaus is.
412
00:18:49,647 --> 00:18:52,708
Honestly, he deserves
to be dictator of Langley.
413
00:18:52,792 --> 00:18:55,117
Klaaaaaauuuusss!
414
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:57,995
Maybe you should try
thinking Klaus is cool.
415
00:18:58,079 --> 00:18:59,601
You just might
find you like it.
416
00:18:59,685 --> 00:19:01,073
Why isn't this working?
417
00:19:01,157 --> 00:19:05,022
You broke the hypnosis,
but you're too late.
418
00:19:05,106 --> 00:19:09,974
The belief in "cool Klaus"
is buried way too deep.
419
00:19:10,058 --> 00:19:11,848
You lost, Francine.
420
00:19:11,932 --> 00:19:13,520
Join the mob.
421
00:19:13,605 --> 00:19:14,926
Come on!
422
00:19:15,010 --> 00:19:17,403
I can't make them forget
that he's cool.
423
00:19:17,488 --> 00:19:22,824
But what if I can make everyone
remember he's not cool?
424
00:19:22,908 --> 00:19:24,148
Capture her, Stan!
425
00:19:29,132 --> 00:19:31,272
Enough with
the hypnotism already!
426
00:19:33,481 --> 00:19:38,215
Even if they're not hypnotized,
they're still gonna love me.
427
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:41,496
I'm just getting
warmed up, punk.
428
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:43,168
Thanks to Mark Wahlberg,
429
00:19:43,253 --> 00:19:46,965
I'm now kind of trained
in basic it.
430
00:19:48,673 --> 00:19:52,486
Citizens of Langley,
you call this cool?
431
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,951
Welcome back to
"Klaus of hearts."
432
00:19:56,035 --> 00:19:57,824
Oh, shit.
433
00:19:58,051 --> 00:20:00,918
On this episode,
I'm at the hard rock casino,
434
00:20:01,013 --> 00:20:03,111
alone on my birthday...
435
00:20:03,195 --> 00:20:04,716
The way I've learned
to like it.
436
00:20:04,801 --> 00:20:08,398
Meanwhile, I'm trying to
protect a bachelorette party
437
00:20:08,482 --> 00:20:11,140
from some creep I hear
them whispering about.
438
00:20:11,225 --> 00:20:14,020
But the girls won't tell me
what floor their room is on!
439
00:20:14,293 --> 00:20:17,031
I ordered a buttery nipple
from the cocktail waitress,
440
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:20,244
you know, to look like a G.
441
00:20:20,328 --> 00:20:22,452
Then I got a call
from an unknown number.
442
00:20:22,536 --> 00:20:25,463
I answered it to cement
my g status.
443
00:20:25,548 --> 00:20:27,805
And it was lucky I did,
because it turned out
444
00:20:27,889 --> 00:20:31,219
to be my very
last chance to act
445
00:20:31,303 --> 00:20:34,631
Before the warranty
ran out on my car or truck.
446
00:20:34,716 --> 00:20:38,246
Another great birthday
in the books.
447
00:20:38,330 --> 00:20:41,541
♪ This guy's a loser! ♪
448
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:47,615
♪ Well, I still
wanna watch TV ♪
449
00:20:47,699 --> 00:20:49,288
♪ Mom! ♪
450
00:20:49,372 --> 00:20:52,367
♪ I know I said
you ruined my life ♪
451
00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:56,181
♪ But I need you ♪
452
00:20:56,266 --> 00:21:01,001
♪ Mommy! ♪
453
00:21:01,086 --> 00:21:02,808
Mommy!
454
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,035
Have a great night!
32807
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