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1
00:00:00,300 --> 00:00:03,235
(Man) Who'll start me at 100?
100 for a start.
2
00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:05,328
100 I'm bid. 100 I'm bid.
3
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:08,272
Who'll give me 10, who'll make it 110?
I'm looking for 110.
4
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,400
110? 110 I'm bid. 110?
5
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:13,969
Who'll make it 20?
Come on, gentlemen, who'll make it 20?
6
00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:16,447
120 I'm bid. It's with you, madam, at 120.
7
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,984
Do I hear 50? 150 anywhere?
8
00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:23,751
Come on, gentlemen, that's a genuine antique.
They don't come up every day. 150?
9
00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:25,620
150 I'm bid.
10
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:30,929
Come on, gentlemen, I'm looking for 350.
11
00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:33,295
350 anywhere?
12
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:36,335
Don't lose it, madam,
don't lose it for another 50.
13
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,866
350 anywhere? 350 I'm bid.
14
00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:43,170
At 350. Who'll make it four?
I'm looking for four.
15
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:46,110
Any more? At 350.
16
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:50,377
Are you all done? At 350? At 350...
17
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,844
Lovejoy.
18
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:57,449
(Clock chimes)
19
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,487
(Bang)
20
00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:17,499
I know you're here, Lovejoy. I can smell you.
21
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:37,856
I'm gonna have your arse, Lovejoy.
22
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:07,179
- What do you want, Gimbert?
- I want my rent, Lovejoy.
23
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,414
My rent!
24
00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:24,068
Mr. Gimbert's been up all night
in that casino in Great Yarmouth.
25
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:29,302
Drinking gin
and playing cards, haven't you?
26
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,435
You scored with the gin
but your luck ran out at the tables.
27
00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:36,039
Why do you have to take out
all your pent-up aggression on me?
28
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:39,380
Because I despise you, Lovejoy, always have.
29
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:44,145
You're a deceitful, irresponsible, little turd
who never pays his rent,
30
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:48,422
who cheated me out of that luscious porcelain
Ting bowl at that auction at Lavenham,
31
00:03:48,494 --> 00:03:51,657
- and who deflowered my sister.
- That was six years ago.
32
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:55,599
- She was only 15 then.
- Not Amanda, the Ting bowl.
33
00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:58,660
- How long do you bear grudges?
- Years and years.
34
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,832
I'll kill you one of these days, Lovejoy,
I can promise you that.
35
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,205
Two sugars, no milk.
36
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,737
Sorry about the rent.
37
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:11,944
I've, uh... I've been a bit strapped lately.
38
00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:14,714
Tell me something new, Lovejoy.
39
00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:18,783
I'll tell you what about the rent.
40
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:22,453
I still have a couple of tea chests
I haven't had a chance to comb through.
41
00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:26,225
- Oh, no, don't ask me to scan them.
- I'm not asking, Lovejoy.
42
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,062
You will scan them.
43
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:30,659
That lets you off one week's rent.
44
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,466
The other seven,
45
00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:34,506
I want by Friday.
46
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,235
Certainly.
47
00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:44,646
In the antiques business, doing a scan
48
00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:48,483
means going through a job lot of stuff
and sorting out the genuine article
49
00:04:48,554 --> 00:04:51,216
from the shoddy crapology of the modern world.
50
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,124
I only do it when I'm broke.
Which is fairly often.
51
00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:57,128
Well, at least it's a cut above being
on the knocker, as we say.
52
00:04:57,196 --> 00:05:00,029
Translation, going round banging on the doors,
53
00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:02,465
asking the public
if they have anything old for sale.
54
00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:05,163
A sure sign of impending failure
in the antique game.
55
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,206
Did I say game?
56
00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:09,935
Antiques is a lovely but murderous business
57
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:14,207
filled with love, fear, greed,
death, loathing and ecstasy.
58
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,743
Well, I've owned up...
59
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:19,114
and I'm the only one you can trust
in this game.
60
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:32,189
- Motor ready, Brian?
- I told you she was last week.
61
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,563
Running like a dream.
62
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:39,501
See, all I need... is the readies.
63
00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:46,702
In order to have readies,
I need to work and to work I need wheels.
64
00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:50,215
Ah, well. Catch 22, they calls that, don't they?
65
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:58,889
Lovejoy?
66
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:00,956
Lovejoy?
67
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:06,929
- Not now, Eric.
- You're avoiding me, Lovejoy.
68
00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:08,227
Yes, Eric, I'm avoiding you.
69
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,929
That's why you found me going down
the middle of Market Lane
70
00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,937
taking advantage of the natural cover.
71
00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:15,405
Well, I'm your trainee, aren't I?
72
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:18,774
Apart from heavy metal music,
you're a piteously ignorant of life
73
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,939
but what is most painful is that
you are completely ignorant of antiques.
74
00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:24,039
- That's why you're teaching me.
- No.
75
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:28,816
I'm teaching you because your father asked me
and I was financially desperate enough to agree.
76
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,584
Well, I've read those books,
Wills On Victorian glass
77
00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:33,625
and Baines On Brass Instruments.
78
00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:37,459
- And did they enlighten you?
- No, they were totally boring, really.
79
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,157
When you teach a beginner about antiques,
80
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:43,032
you start by seeing if he has a feeling
for craftsmanship, it's everything.
81
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,694
I've been teaching you a month,
82
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:47,706
and you still think Faberg� eggs
are crusted chocolates.
83
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:49,765
Sorry, Eric, can't do it.
84
00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:53,107
Well, if it's a question of money,
I'm sure my dad will pay extra.
85
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,580
- In advance?
- If you want, Lovejoy.
86
00:06:56,649 --> 00:07:00,141
Mr. Lovejoy,
I'm your teacher, remember?
87
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,753
- These are the coins Mr. Bexon donated?
- Yes.
88
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,792
Roman Aureus, gold Claudius,
centurion engraving.
89
00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:09,554
Donated by finder.
90
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:12,257
Roman province of the Isle of Man?
91
00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:16,131
We get the oddest conditions appended
to our donations at times.
92
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:20,400
Of course we know that the Isle of Man
was never colonized by the Romans.
93
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:23,965
But the donor was insistent
that we adhere to the wording.
94
00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:28,605
Well, perhaps you'd like to see
some of our local Roman antiquity.
95
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:31,115
Now, you will know, of course...
96
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,766
- Morning, Fred.
- Morning.
97
00:07:57,643 --> 00:08:00,077
(Typewriter keys clicking slowly)
98
00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:09,253
I didn't know you could type, Amanda.
Put you to work, has he?
99
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:12,754
I hate being called Amanda.
I'm bored with my name.
100
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:16,556
- It doesn't suit me.
- Oh, dear. When did this come on?
101
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:20,395
I've always hated it
and don't call me Mandy either.
102
00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:22,559
- Or I'll kill you.
- Too late.
103
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:24,694
Your brother's already offered to do that.
104
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:27,500
Have you seen him?
He hasn't been back all night.
105
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,303
He's gone over to the Fens to shoot ducks.
106
00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:32,003
Or youth hostelers.
107
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,512
Oh, that's nice, isn't it?
108
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:38,983
I offered to stand in for his sick secretary
and he buzzes off for a bit of sport.
109
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:47,582
Never mind, you can take me
for a nice long intimate lunch.
110
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:51,858
I'm sorry but I've got to collect some stuff
from a house at Stradbroke.
111
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,626
Charlie said the key would be here.
112
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:57,692
Ah, yes. The late Mr. Bexon's place.
I'll get it for you.
113
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:05,934
Ah, thank you Mr. Bigelow.
114
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:09,641
Perhaps you'd like to take Miss Gimbert
for a long intimate lunch.
115
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:37,275
- Is it valuable?
- Dutch, fake.
116
00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:40,005
But look closely, the lenses.
117
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:44,106
They're whittled down spectacle lenses
from some flea market in Amsterdam.
118
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:46,651
Any optician will tell you how it's done.
119
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:53,024
- So it's not ivory then?
- Made in Taiwan.
120
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:58,189
They simulated the grain with a wax coating
pitted with a kitchen cheese shredder.
121
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,892
Diluted in phosphoric acid.
122
00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:05,129
Thought as much.
123
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,265
(Smashes)
124
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,168
(Lovejoy) Oh.
125
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,647
It's amazing.
126
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:17,842
It's amazing.
127
00:10:20,853 --> 00:10:23,014
An old master, isn't it?
128
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:27,287
A not so old master, Eric,
but a masterful hand nonetheless.
129
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,657
J...
130
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:34,959
Bexon?
131
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,798
- That's the name of the bloke who died here.
- Right.
132
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:44,938
Suddenly, Mr. Bexon's become
a very interesting person.
133
00:10:57,356 --> 00:10:59,688
Suppose this Bexon bloke was a bit of a joker
134
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:03,024
- and put his name on an old picture.
- No, it's his painting.
135
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:04,756
(Door opens)
136
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:26,077
(US accent) Oh, hello, there, uh...
Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.
137
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:28,780
We tried the bell, it didn't seem to work.
138
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,651
Hi.
139
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,384
We saw your motorcycle outside.
140
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:36,053
Are you something to do with the auction
or the realtor?
141
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:39,097
No, we're just cleaning out
some rubbish, actually.
142
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:42,157
Rubbish? Looks kinda... tidy to me.
143
00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:47,367
If you're thinking of bidding,
have a look around. Feel free.
144
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:51,376
- Oh, we're not buyers, we're family.
- Mr. Bexon's?
145
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,708
Yeah. Well, we call ourselves family.
146
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:56,475
But not his, his sister's.
He was our uncle.
147
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,575
I'm Edward and this is Nicole.
148
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,985
Our mother went to the States just after
the war, so we never knew our uncle.
149
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:07,151
Unfortunately he died just before
we'd scheduled a vacation here.
150
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:11,162
We thought we'd at least take a look
at the place where he lived.
151
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:14,825
We kind of figured there may be some
apparently meaningless things around
152
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:18,631
that might have some
sentimental attachments for us.
153
00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:21,935
Photographs, mail.
You know that kind of thing, Mr...
154
00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:25,135
Lovejoy. No, Mr., just Lovejoy. I doubt it.
155
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:27,304
I think he left everything to his housekeepers.
156
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:30,712
Too bad. Still, you don't mind
if we take a look around?
157
00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:33,980
By all means, just slam the door
when you leave.
158
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:35,714
OK.
159
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,819
Thanks... Lovejoy.
160
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:44,124
You're like putty you are, Lovejoy,
when you see a nice bit of skirt.
161
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,324
Nice bit of skirt?
162
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:52,632
That adorable creature
is the kind of woman men would die for.
163
00:12:54,373 --> 00:13:00,334
Can't you adolescent, headbanging polytechnic
dropouts think of a woman you'd wanna die for?
164
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,573
Cyndi Lauper. Maybe.
165
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:13,555
- Good morning, Helen.
- Hello, darling.
166
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,719
A little early in the day, eh, Tinker?
167
00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:22,066
I like a little early in the day.
168
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,534
I like a lot more later in the day.
169
00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:27,094
Secret of your charm, Tink. Anything new?
170
00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:29,004
Apart from the pink shirt with the cigar?
171
00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:32,237
Spot of porcelain on the move.
Pinned it for you.
172
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,074
Thanks, you'll have to wait for the cash.
173
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:38,549
Part of the charm of being you barker, Lovejoy,
is waiting for the cash.
174
00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:39,777
Thank you.
175
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:43,788
Listen, a fellow called Bexon died recently.
176
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:46,416
Do you know where all the stuff went?
177
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,859
Yes, some coins went into auction
and some odds and sods.
178
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:54,525
I rather think that Gimbert and Dandy Jack
snatched most of it before it got to auction.
179
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,501
Nailed it down before the deceased
was cold in his box.
180
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,970
Typical Gimbert, not like Dandy Jack.
181
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:05,341
We're dealers, laddie, and as such
are capable of despicable deceits.
182
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:08,608
Of course we are.
What was I thinking of?
183
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,878
Besides, I can hardly imagine Bexon's place
184
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:15,717
yielding a cornucopia of antiquities,
185
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:18,416
manky little house off the Norwich Road.
186
00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:20,924
Yielded this, done by the man himself.
187
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:24,588
What's that your holding close to your chest,
Lovejoy? Let Helen have a peep.
188
00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:28,224
Now, not everyone gets a chance
to peek at my chest, darling.
189
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:31,133
I live in hope, sweetie, I live in hope.
190
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,433
She lives in hope.
191
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:37,835
It's rather lovely.
192
00:14:38,677 --> 00:14:41,077
Show's over. That's all you get.
193
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,281
(Whispers) It's a fake.
194
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:51,585
(Whispers) Yes, but close to being brilliant.
195
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:54,990
That's why I wanna scan
the rest of the stuff.
196
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:58,757
- Find Dandy Jack.
- Chop the deal with me.
197
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,890
How could you even ask that?
198
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,695
(Coughs)
199
00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:22,518
Will you row me over the Bosphorous
to the palace of the Sultan?
200
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,180
Lovejoy?
201
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:27,384
- Hello, Janey.
- Oh, you look awful.
202
00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:29,620
I had a rude awakening this morning.
203
00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:34,963
Better after a shave.
204
00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:37,395
- Where's the husband?
- Oh...
205
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:41,436
Bangkok or New Zealand, somewhere like that.
206
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:44,965
Oh, why don't we repair to the manor house
and regale ourselves with dry sherry?
207
00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:51,478
You'll never make the upper classes, Lovejoy,
you're too much of a snob.
208
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,572
- This your latest job?
- Mm-hm.
209
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,847
Former railway station near Saxmundham.
210
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,854
- I'm designing the sitting room.
- Oh.
211
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,617
Used to be the ticket office.
212
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:36,251
Bet they're from Belgravia.
More money than sense, hm?
213
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,762
- I'm happy to say.
- (Chuckles)
214
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,191
Well, tell me about this painting.
215
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:46,203
(Lovejoy) Aha.
216
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:51,336
- It would fool most dealers.
- Aha, but why didn't it fool you?
217
00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:55,746
The dress.
218
00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:57,839
- Mm?
- The color of the dress.
219
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:03,583
It's lemon yellow, modern color.
220
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:06,681
About 1809, now Bexon the forger,
he must know that.
221
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:10,160
An expert like that
doesn't get an entire color wrong.
222
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:15,227
He creates a superb bloody forgery
then he betrays it, why?
223
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,400
Indeed, why?
224
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:21,268
I don't know, there might be a reason.
225
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:25,538
Then again it might be a wonderful,
elegant joke.
226
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,243
I've never seen Lovejoy so excited
as when he saw that picture.
227
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:35,651
Almost fervent, he was.
Usually he's such a cynical old so and so.
228
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:40,715
Ah, but not about antiques.
Not genuine antiques.
229
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:46,963
You see, to Lovejoy and I,
antiques are a way of life.
230
00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:49,364
Especially to Lovejoy, he's a divvy, you know.
231
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:50,925
A what, divvy?
232
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:55,201
A divvy is anyone who knows
the right of a thing,
233
00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:57,071
without knowing why.
234
00:17:57,142 --> 00:18:01,909
It's an instinct, a feeling,
it springs from "divining", as in water.
235
00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:05,044
I think I'm a divvy.
236
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:08,052
Cos I can hear a record - a new one, like -
237
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,953
and I can usually predict if it's gonna be a hit.
238
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:13,218
(Door opens)
239
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:19,858
- The Bexon inheritance.
- Dandy Jack loaned it you?
240
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,797
He charged me a tenner for it.
241
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:24,301
A tenner too much.
242
00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:28,430
These appear to be diaries.
Nothing titillating, I'm afraid.
243
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:30,666
This is it?
244
00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:32,539
There's a couple of caricatures,
245
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,273
I told him you'd be around there tomorrow
to look at 'em.
246
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,009
Rubbish.
247
00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:42,645
Tinker's in no great hurry for his tenner.
248
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:19,419
(Bells chime)
249
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,206
Lovejoy. Adore the suit.
250
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,871
It's part of that undertaker's job lot
I bought off you.
251
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:43,107
I expect that style's all the rage again
in Covent Garden,
252
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,879
one gets so out of touch
in our quiet little rural corner.
253
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:50,353
What's, um... What's going on?
254
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:52,117
Strangers in the night.
255
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,284
Yobbos pinched some gold coins.
256
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:57,260
Probably feeding them into slot machines
as we speak.
257
00:19:57,329 --> 00:20:00,594
I wanna see those caricatures you kept.
Tomorrow, OK?
258
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:02,793
All right, petal. Bye for now.
259
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,495
Yeah.
260
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:24,715
Christ, what's with the suit?
261
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,189
Are you in court?
262
00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:29,056
I suppose the jaundiced eye of the law
sees the worst in everyone.
263
00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:32,528
- Goes with the job, boy.
- What happened?
264
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:33,997
What's it to you?
265
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,558
If I know what's been stolen, I can recognize it.
266
00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:41,163
When I'm offered it at a third
of the value by some shifty tea leaf.
267
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,174
Then I can report it to you.
268
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,006
Snap it up and flog it
in far off parts, more like.
269
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,670
How can you think such a thing?
270
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:51,682
It's one of the many reasons why
you're in our police computer, Lovejoy.
271
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,377
Vandals!
272
00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:01,354
- What coins did they get, darling?
- Two gold Aureus.
273
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:13,735
"Donated by J. R. Bexon.
274
00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:16,330
"Roman province of Isle of Man."
275
00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:24,615
(Cheering)
276
00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:51,538
I was a useless runner at school.
277
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:56,274
Mind you, it does require tenacity,
stamina, courage and character.
278
00:21:56,348 --> 00:21:58,839
All those qualities which you so sadly lack.
279
00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:01,112
- Did your mother tell you that?
- Probably.
280
00:22:01,186 --> 00:22:03,620
- How is she?
- She's OK.
281
00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:06,817
She's over the guitar lessons,
she's into ceramics now.
282
00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:09,861
What about your stepfather, what's his name?
283
00:22:09,928 --> 00:22:11,225
He's making a mint.
284
00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,560
What about you? Still terribly broke?
285
00:22:13,632 --> 00:22:16,328
What are you talking about?
I pay these school fees, don't I?
286
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,096
And your skiing trip to Zermatt.
287
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:24,575
I do admit I have the occasional fiscal crisis
but I'm doing fine, Kate, really am.
288
00:22:24,643 --> 00:22:27,111
Mummy says
you don't have a pot to piss in.
289
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,909
I had a superb pot.
290
00:22:29,981 --> 00:22:32,745
Porcelain Ting bowl,
Hubei province, circa 1050.
291
00:22:32,818 --> 00:22:34,786
But your mum got that.
292
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:37,378
Can we, uh... sit down?
293
00:22:37,456 --> 00:22:39,890
- I got tired watching you.
- (Tannoy announcement)
294
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:42,051
Hang on, I want to hear the result.
295
00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:43,424
You won.
296
00:22:43,495 --> 00:22:46,089
It's a team event,
if you know what that means.
297
00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:49,600
...this year's overall winner, with 137 points.
298
00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:53,832
Second, Gainsborough, with 128 points.
299
00:22:53,905 --> 00:22:56,965
And Hilliard third, with 110 points.
300
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,566
Thank you.
301
00:22:58,643 --> 00:23:00,474
(Applause)
302
00:23:04,282 --> 00:23:08,719
Well, Kate. You still interested in the Romans?
303
00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:10,982
I like Italian waiters.
304
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,490
Seriously,
it was always your pet subject.
305
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:16,459
- So?
- So, um...
306
00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:18,291
Did they ever colonize the Isle of Man?
307
00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:20,923
I'm speaking of Claudius' time, Suetonius.
308
00:23:20,999 --> 00:23:23,661
Suetonius was governor general in Nero's reign.
309
00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:27,398
He spent most of his time chasing druids
in Anglesey while all the aggro went on...
310
00:23:27,472 --> 00:23:28,496
- What aggro?
311
00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:31,371
- You know, Boadicea and the Iceni.
- No, I don't know.
312
00:23:32,844 --> 00:23:35,608
Boadicea whipped together
all these savage dykes.
313
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,147
(Whispers) Kate.
314
00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:38,978
Savage warriors, then.
315
00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:42,508
Anyhow, they went on the rampage
and blew the ninth legion away.
316
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:45,681
She crucified 70,000 people
and really went over the top
317
00:23:45,757 --> 00:23:48,191
till old Suetonius turned up
a few months later.
318
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,420
From Anglesey?
319
00:23:49,494 --> 00:23:51,962
Mm. I need another drink.
320
00:23:52,030 --> 00:23:54,760
Suetonius was a long time getting back,
wasn't he?
321
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:58,630
It wasn't as if we were ripping off his widow.
322
00:23:58,703 --> 00:24:02,935
He left all to a housekeeper
who took off soon after he died.
323
00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:06,034
Just saving the old dear the bother, weren't we?
324
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:08,443
Oh, and you have a heart of gold, love!
325
00:24:08,513 --> 00:24:11,971
And Gimbert snatched up
the Carolian yellow lady.
326
00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:16,248
- I could have wept.
- (Tuts) I know how you must have felt.
327
00:24:16,321 --> 00:24:18,448
- It was gorgeous.
- It was a fake.
328
00:24:18,523 --> 00:24:19,785
Really?
329
00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:21,826
Oh, splendid, I am pleased.
330
00:24:23,695 --> 00:24:25,890
- As I suspect these are.
- Nonsense.
331
00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:28,524
Genuine Victorian caricatures.
332
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,763
Burn Jones. Almost certainly.
333
00:24:32,337 --> 00:24:34,567
Almost certainly, Burn Jones' style
334
00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:37,301
but done by the remarkable Mr. Bexon.
335
00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:41,311
Balls, Lovejoy,
I've already had a sweet offer for this.
336
00:24:41,379 --> 00:24:45,076
- Two Americans.
- Was one blonde and beautiful?
337
00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:47,084
He wasn't exactly gross.
338
00:24:48,086 --> 00:24:49,383
Why didn't you sell them?
339
00:24:49,454 --> 00:24:51,854
Old Lord Rycroft likes this sort of thing.
340
00:24:51,923 --> 00:24:53,515
He might just up the ante.
341
00:24:53,592 --> 00:24:55,924
Oh, Dandy, do me a favor. Well, two actually.
342
00:24:55,994 --> 00:25:00,863
Let me photocopy those, and stall
our American cousins for a couple of days.
343
00:25:00,932 --> 00:25:02,797
Why on earth should I?
344
00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:05,928
Because they're not Burn Jones, dear heart.
345
00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:11,169
But only you and I know that.
For the moment.
346
00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:23,449
Just the man I wanted to see.
347
00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:27,287
Oh. You still in the area then?
348
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,192
Sure am, been trying to acquire
some of my uncle's effects.
349
00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:31,957
- Yeah, I heard.
- Oh?
350
00:25:32,030 --> 00:25:33,964
Dandy Jack said you've made him an offer.
351
00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:37,661
Ah, the drawings, yeah.
I thought they were quite attractive.
352
00:25:37,736 --> 00:25:38,828
(Tinker laughs)
353
00:25:38,904 --> 00:25:41,270
Looks like I might have to raise
the bidding, though.
354
00:25:41,339 --> 00:25:45,275
Ah, this other dealer. Dandy Jack?
355
00:25:45,343 --> 00:25:49,939
He said you'd bought a chest
of my uncle's belongings from him.
356
00:25:50,015 --> 00:25:53,712
- Just junk, I'm afraid.
- I'd like to be the judge of that.
357
00:25:53,785 --> 00:25:55,844
I'm a pretty good judge of junk.
358
00:25:55,921 --> 00:25:56,979
(Laughs)
359
00:25:57,055 --> 00:26:01,651
Said you paid ten pounds for it.
I'd like to buy the stuff.
360
00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:03,318
For nostalgic reasons.
361
00:26:05,297 --> 00:26:06,924
Give you twenty.
362
00:26:06,998 --> 00:26:11,196
Clearly nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
363
00:26:11,269 --> 00:26:13,362
(Laughs)
364
00:26:13,538 --> 00:26:16,439
"I decided to leave them all in the urn.
365
00:26:16,508 --> 00:26:21,172
"I can't face the publicity yet,
all these TV people doing their interviews,
366
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:23,009
"they're such barbarians.
367
00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:25,208
"I need to do more research."
368
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:30,744
Why would he write a diary,
then copy it out, word for word?
369
00:26:30,822 --> 00:26:32,722
Almost like forging his own work.
370
00:26:32,791 --> 00:26:36,454
They're clues. He'd do that, he'd leave clues.
371
00:26:36,528 --> 00:26:37,859
What do you mean? You never knew the man.
372
00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:41,763
I know the nature of the man,
he'd leave riddles, he'd leave clues.
373
00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:45,064
They're in those diaries, somewhere.
374
00:26:47,906 --> 00:26:49,635
- Is this a clue?
- Mm?
375
00:26:50,208 --> 00:26:51,766
Show me that.
376
00:26:56,147 --> 00:26:59,082
It's a work sketch of Dandy Jack's drawing.
377
00:27:00,485 --> 00:27:03,147
Janey, we're on to something.
378
00:27:03,989 --> 00:27:05,923
I can smell it. Read on.
379
00:27:07,792 --> 00:27:11,091
Does feel awful somehow,
reading people's private diaries.
380
00:27:11,162 --> 00:27:14,791
No, Bexon wanted you to,
he wanted them to be read,
381
00:27:14,866 --> 00:27:18,358
especially by somebody
who is as curious and alert
382
00:27:18,436 --> 00:27:21,030
and as completely broke as I am.
383
00:27:31,282 --> 00:27:32,909
(Lovejoy) Good night, love.
384
00:27:56,207 --> 00:27:58,175
(Phone)
385
00:28:08,987 --> 00:28:10,284
Hello, who is it?
386
00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:12,516
(Lovejoy) I wanted to speak
to your maniac brother.
387
00:28:12,590 --> 00:28:14,387
- Why?
- Why?!
388
00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:18,657
Because he's wrecked my home, that's why.
Would have had his bloody rent tomorrow.
389
00:28:18,730 --> 00:28:21,062
If you'd just shut your face a minute,
390
00:28:21,132 --> 00:28:23,327
I'm telling you, Charlie's not here.
391
00:28:23,401 --> 00:28:25,494
I see.
392
00:28:25,570 --> 00:28:27,162
Oh, I'm sorry, Mandy.
393
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:53,095
Still looking for family mementos, eh?
394
00:28:53,164 --> 00:28:57,066
When a guy doesn't play fair
you have to take steps.
395
00:28:57,135 --> 00:29:00,127
Like breaking and entering
here and at the museum.
396
00:29:00,205 --> 00:29:02,969
Careful what you say, Lovejoy.
397
00:29:03,041 --> 00:29:05,339
I wonder what the law would say about this.
398
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:09,710
There's nothing illegal about what an antique
dealer does in the privacy of his own home.
399
00:29:09,781 --> 00:29:11,339
Of course not.
400
00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:16,012
What were you gonna sign this? Richard Wilson?
401
00:29:16,087 --> 00:29:19,215
- I think I'll have you arrested.
- The hell you will.
402
00:29:19,290 --> 00:29:21,520
Don't act the wise-ass with me.
I'm warning you.
403
00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:23,652
You could just be stepping out of your league.
404
00:29:23,728 --> 00:29:25,457
You just stepped out of character.
405
00:29:25,530 --> 00:29:28,556
Me and Nicole, we don't figure
that box of trash you sold me
406
00:29:28,633 --> 00:29:30,726
was all you had of our uncle's stuff.
407
00:29:30,802 --> 00:29:33,669
I don't like being threatened, Edward.
408
00:29:33,738 --> 00:29:38,801
And I suggest you get the hell out of here
unless you want an ear lopped off.
409
00:29:38,877 --> 00:29:42,938
And kindly put that old master
back where you found it.
410
00:30:14,179 --> 00:30:17,342
- (Lovejoy) Morning, Charlie.
- Hang on.
411
00:30:17,415 --> 00:30:19,849
Nineteen.
412
00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:22,352
I've got one more to go.
413
00:30:22,887 --> 00:30:24,616
I do this every day.
414
00:30:25,690 --> 00:30:28,853
Why don't you put a pool in the cottage?
Then you can raise my rent.
415
00:30:28,927 --> 00:30:32,863
Then you'd owe me even more
every bloody month.
416
00:30:33,932 --> 00:30:36,992
- I brought your painting back.
- Oh.
417
00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:39,866
You've been telling everyone it's a forgery.
418
00:30:39,938 --> 00:30:43,237
- It is.
- I've already had an offer.
419
00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:45,071
Sight unseen.
420
00:30:45,143 --> 00:30:48,704
- From our visiting American friends.
- That's right.
421
00:30:48,780 --> 00:30:51,146
Bexon's family.
422
00:30:51,216 --> 00:30:55,482
They're trying to collect his stuff
for sentimental reasons.
423
00:30:56,554 --> 00:30:58,954
Thanks.
424
00:30:59,023 --> 00:31:02,959
I'd knock the price down for that Nicole,
I'll tell you that.
425
00:31:03,027 --> 00:31:05,086
What a darling.
426
00:31:05,163 --> 00:31:07,597
What was Bexon's story? Did you know him?
427
00:31:07,665 --> 00:31:10,031
No, not really.
428
00:31:10,101 --> 00:31:12,899
Sold him the house a couple of years ago.
429
00:31:12,971 --> 00:31:17,067
Retired engineer, I think.
Died unexpectedly.
430
00:31:17,141 --> 00:31:21,805
Left the place to Betty Springer,
his housekeeper.
431
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,872
- Do you know her present address?
- Of course I do.
432
00:31:24,949 --> 00:31:27,110
I'm handling the sale, aren't I?
433
00:31:28,119 --> 00:31:30,781
- Well?
- Huh?
434
00:31:30,855 --> 00:31:33,221
Oh, she went back to the Isle of Man.
435
00:31:33,291 --> 00:31:35,452
(Splash in the pool)
436
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:43,999
Amanda!
437
00:31:44,068 --> 00:31:47,333
I've told you before about swimming naked
when there are people here.
438
00:31:47,405 --> 00:31:50,272
Knock it off, Charlie.
Lovejoy's seen me before.
439
00:32:06,724 --> 00:32:07,850
(Nicole) Lovejoy?
440
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,786
Lovejoy?
441
00:32:12,730 --> 00:32:14,391
- Hi!
- Hello.
442
00:32:15,166 --> 00:32:18,067
I just wanted to apologize
for my brother's behavior.
443
00:32:18,136 --> 00:32:20,661
Yeah, he seems to think
I kept some things of yours.
444
00:32:20,738 --> 00:32:22,831
I can't imagine what would be worth keeping.
445
00:32:22,907 --> 00:32:25,876
- But Eddie's real uptight.
- So am I.
446
00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:30,813
Mind you, it might have been different if you'd
been creeping around my bedroom last night.
447
00:32:31,983 --> 00:32:34,884
I guess that would have been
more fun, too.
448
00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:36,818
Why don't I buy you lunch?
449
00:33:04,315 --> 00:33:06,283
Antiques are everything.
450
00:33:06,351 --> 00:33:08,683
Nothing else exists.
451
00:33:08,753 --> 00:33:11,449
When you hold an antique,
452
00:33:11,522 --> 00:33:14,320
you reach back through centuries.
453
00:33:17,328 --> 00:33:19,421
You touch the hand of genius.
454
00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:22,295
- Do you understand what I'm saying?
- Mm.
455
00:33:22,367 --> 00:33:26,997
When you hold an antique, you love it.
Because the love that made it shines through.
456
00:33:27,071 --> 00:33:29,767
Right. That's why I'm a dealer.
457
00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:36,777
I suppose that's why you and Edward
are dealers, too.
458
00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:39,180
- Is that what you think?
- Mm.
459
00:33:39,751 --> 00:33:42,618
I think you're a couple of normal,
healthy collectors,
460
00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:45,713
ferreting around the English countryside
in search of coins.
461
00:33:45,790 --> 00:33:49,123
Well, you do seem to posses
some sort of higher knowledge, Lovejoy.
462
00:33:49,193 --> 00:33:52,162
Let's suppose you found
a couple of Roman coins
463
00:33:52,230 --> 00:33:55,427
and then you saw the pair that Bexon
gave to the local museum
464
00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:59,129
and thought they were from the same batch,
465
00:33:59,203 --> 00:34:04,436
and being a naturally healthy
pair of collectors, you liberated them.
466
00:34:04,509 --> 00:34:06,033
How am I doing so far?
467
00:34:06,110 --> 00:34:08,203
(Chuckles) Best movie I've seen in months.
468
00:34:08,279 --> 00:34:09,769
And being coin dealers,
469
00:34:09,847 --> 00:34:11,974
there's naturally more
where they came from
470
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:17,511
and somewhere in Uncle Jimmy's things,
there might be pointers to their whereabouts.
471
00:34:18,556 --> 00:34:21,024
- Spot of port?
- No, thanks.
472
00:34:24,495 --> 00:34:27,328
If any of this were true,
where would that leave you?
473
00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:28,797
In the hunt.
474
00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:32,332
But not necessarily in the lead.
475
00:34:33,171 --> 00:34:35,332
I think my nose is just in front.
476
00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:38,307
Well then you should pick up
the lunch tab, don't you think?
477
00:34:38,376 --> 00:34:40,071
Certainly.
478
00:34:50,154 --> 00:34:51,781
Shit!
479
00:34:54,592 --> 00:34:58,119
Ah! Quiche, trout, wine, port.
480
00:34:58,196 --> 00:35:00,027
How nice.
481
00:35:01,632 --> 00:35:04,692
I suppose you're hand in glove
with her and her brother now?
482
00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:09,604
- I might reappraise my position.
- I'd talk to Dandy Jack first.
483
00:35:09,674 --> 00:35:12,666
He's in the hospital. Someone tried to kill him.
484
00:35:12,743 --> 00:35:14,711
What?
485
00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:19,576
(Radio jingle)
486
00:35:19,650 --> 00:35:23,245
(Man on radio) The time is eight o'clock,
you're in tune with Radio 223.
487
00:35:23,321 --> 00:35:26,051
This is your tribute hour in the Breakfast Show.
488
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:29,821
For starters this morning,
Night For Day by Jimmy Nail...
489
00:35:29,894 --> 00:35:32,522
Lovejoy?
490
00:35:32,597 --> 00:35:34,428
How's Dandy Jack?
Did you see him last night?
491
00:35:34,499 --> 00:35:37,127
He'll live, he's more upset
because his sketches were ripped off.
492
00:35:37,201 --> 00:35:41,228
He lost the deal with Lord Rycroft.
Did you bring the cash?
493
00:35:41,305 --> 00:35:45,799
Yeah, but my dad wants evidence
of a pronounced improvement in my endeavors.
494
00:35:45,877 --> 00:35:48,937
He will have it, Eric. There's a book here.
495
00:35:49,013 --> 00:35:51,675
Biographical memoirs of extraordinary painters.
496
00:35:52,483 --> 00:35:54,280
You read it before I get back.
497
00:35:54,352 --> 00:35:56,081
Hang on, get back from where?
498
00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:59,282
I'm going up north. Auction.
499
00:35:59,357 --> 00:36:03,817
- That cash is for your rent, Lovejoy.
- I know it is.
500
00:36:03,895 --> 00:36:07,763
Here, are you up to something?
I want in if you are.
501
00:36:07,832 --> 00:36:10,062
Fair's fair.
502
00:36:10,134 --> 00:36:12,193
Drink your coffee, Eric.
503
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,268
Readies, Brian.
504
00:36:21,345 --> 00:36:25,008
(Laughs) Wonders will never cease.
505
00:36:25,082 --> 00:36:27,880
- May I have an invoice?
- My pleasure, boy.
506
00:37:08,292 --> 00:37:11,125
- Mr. Lovejoy?
- Mrs. Springer.
507
00:37:11,195 --> 00:37:14,289
- Yes, how do you do?
- I was just admiring the view.
508
00:37:14,365 --> 00:37:16,265
Please come in.
509
00:37:17,335 --> 00:37:21,169
That's why Mr. Bexon
was always so reluctant to leave.
510
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,706
I can't say I blame him.
511
00:37:24,709 --> 00:37:27,701
It quite shook me, your phone call, Mr. Lovejoy.
512
00:37:28,779 --> 00:37:32,840
It's been years since anybody mentioned
all that Roman stuff.
513
00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:35,181
Mr. Bexon wrote it all up in a paper
514
00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:38,518
and sent it to professors
at Oxford and Cambridge.
515
00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:40,648
They just laughed at him.
516
00:37:40,725 --> 00:37:44,559
He was a very shy person
and that wounded him deeply.
517
00:37:44,629 --> 00:37:48,087
So after that,
he decided to keep it all to himself.
518
00:37:48,165 --> 00:37:50,030
What did he tell them?
519
00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:54,333
Mr. Bexon's theory was that,
while Boadicea was on the rampage,
520
00:37:54,405 --> 00:37:58,774
the Roman governor Suetonius
had a kind of honeymoon here
521
00:37:58,843 --> 00:38:00,140
with a favorite mistress.
522
00:38:00,211 --> 00:38:03,374
While he was supposed to be in Anglesey
having a hard time with the Druids?
523
00:38:03,447 --> 00:38:05,074
Politics never change.
524
00:38:05,149 --> 00:38:09,313
He said he'd found evidence
of a small Roman presence.
525
00:38:09,387 --> 00:38:11,218
The two coins he gave to the museum?
526
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,985
Yes, but he found a grave
of some kind as well,
527
00:38:14,058 --> 00:38:17,118
this was before
I became his housekeeper.
528
00:38:17,194 --> 00:38:23,258
There was an urn with ashes and coins
and an inscription with the name Ysbal.
529
00:38:23,334 --> 00:38:27,134
It was Mr. Bexon's theory
that they'd been walking along the cliffs
530
00:38:27,204 --> 00:38:29,229
and she fell and was killed.
531
00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:33,901
And Suetonius buried her here
and then went back to the mainland
532
00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:35,946
to take it out on Boadicea.
533
00:38:36,013 --> 00:38:39,039
I can imagine what the professors
thought of that.
534
00:38:39,116 --> 00:38:42,210
Yes, they said he'd made it all up.
535
00:38:45,589 --> 00:38:49,252
Well, he was a bit of a faker.
Not to say a joker.
536
00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,454
Never malicious though.
537
00:39:13,117 --> 00:39:16,416
Oh, it's become so wild and overgrown.
538
00:39:20,524 --> 00:39:25,086
When I was a little girl,
this was like a train to fairyland.
539
00:39:25,162 --> 00:39:29,326
Down there were pens with sea lions
and polar bears.
540
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,868
It all lit up at night.
541
00:39:31,936 --> 00:39:34,166
What's that?
542
00:39:34,238 --> 00:39:36,968
Oh, that was a cage they built for the keepers.
543
00:39:38,309 --> 00:39:39,799
Oh, to feed the bears.
544
00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:47,047
I'll make some tea, Mr. Lovejoy.
545
00:39:56,761 --> 00:39:58,524
Thank you.
546
00:39:58,596 --> 00:40:00,587
(Laughter)
547
00:40:06,737 --> 00:40:09,137
- Can I help you?
- Mrs. Springer.
548
00:40:09,206 --> 00:40:11,436
How nice to meet you.
549
00:40:11,509 --> 00:40:13,477
Hello, Lovejoy.
550
00:40:13,544 --> 00:40:16,206
Why don't you go and get some
fish and chips, Lovejoy?
551
00:40:18,783 --> 00:40:22,412
If you find treasure or archaeological stuff,
552
00:40:22,486 --> 00:40:24,454
you're surely not allowed to keep it.
553
00:40:24,522 --> 00:40:26,649
No, you can't keep the actual stuff.
554
00:40:26,724 --> 00:40:30,785
The coroner fixes a price with the assessor
and the finder gets the value.
555
00:40:30,861 --> 00:40:33,625
You know, Lovejoy, that this treasure,
if there is such a thing,
556
00:40:33,697 --> 00:40:35,062
wasn't ever intended for you.
557
00:40:35,132 --> 00:40:37,794
It certainly wasn't intended
for Edward or the lovely Nicole.
558
00:40:37,868 --> 00:40:41,031
Mrs. Springer said Bexon never
mentioned a family in the States.
559
00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:43,198
It must have been them who got Dandy Jack.
560
00:40:43,274 --> 00:40:45,242
Edward, Nicole was with me.
561
00:40:45,309 --> 00:40:49,439
Oh yes, the little lunch a deux in the wine bar.
562
00:40:49,513 --> 00:40:51,310
Oh, please she means nothing.
563
00:40:51,382 --> 00:40:54,579
That's not true, you said she was adorable
and you'd die for her.
564
00:40:54,652 --> 00:40:57,587
Any other tasty titbits
you'd like to impart, motor mouth.
565
00:40:57,655 --> 00:41:00,283
Yeah, Charlie Gimbert's
seen a solicitor about your rent,
566
00:41:00,357 --> 00:41:03,190
and Brian's reported you to the police
for car theft.
567
00:41:03,260 --> 00:41:04,921
Don't you want the haddock?
568
00:41:12,736 --> 00:41:16,172
Be a three-way split now, eh? Fair's fair.
569
00:41:17,875 --> 00:41:20,469
I suppose that's why you did a runner on us.
570
00:41:20,544 --> 00:41:22,341
No, I didn't.
571
00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:24,745
I just didn't want you two sharing my problems.
572
00:41:24,815 --> 00:41:27,750
Lovejoy!
Can you spare a moment?
573
00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:33,116
Yes, m'lady.
574
00:41:33,190 --> 00:41:38,025
The general plan, I take, it is to traipse round
all the landmarks in Bexon's dreary diary
575
00:41:38,095 --> 00:41:40,063
and hope something pops up.
576
00:41:41,131 --> 00:41:42,928
Do we have a choice?
577
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:48,632
I would have thought that the sketch of the
Lady Isabella was a much more significant clue.
578
00:41:48,706 --> 00:41:51,140
Well, it probably is
if we knew where the hell it was.
579
00:42:01,285 --> 00:42:03,412
It's a local landmark.
580
00:42:03,487 --> 00:42:05,887
And it's been staring you in the face
for two days.
581
00:42:25,776 --> 00:42:29,940
There's no way anyone could hide anything
in or around that wheel.
582
00:42:30,014 --> 00:42:34,212
Besides, most of the year
it must be crawling with tourists.
583
00:42:34,885 --> 00:42:38,651
I wonder how long before Edward
and your adorable Nicole turn up?
584
00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:41,654
I was thinking the very same thing.
585
00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:44,250
Well, how? They didn't get the diaries.
586
00:42:44,328 --> 00:42:47,695
No, but if they did get the original sketches,
587
00:42:47,765 --> 00:42:50,962
it won't take them long to find out
what Lady Isabella is.
588
00:42:51,735 --> 00:42:53,464
We could be here for ages.
589
00:43:09,687 --> 00:43:13,919
(Radio) It's five to seven and this is
BBC Radio Four. Good morning...
590
00:43:18,462 --> 00:43:21,022
You're up with the lark, Mr. Lovejoy.
591
00:43:22,066 --> 00:43:24,296
Oh, or didn't you sleep?
592
00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:27,860
I'm really terribly sorry about
the lack of heat, it must be the boiler.
593
00:43:27,938 --> 00:43:30,236
That's all right, Mrs. Springer.
594
00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:34,237
Mr. Bexon was always up at this hour.
595
00:43:34,311 --> 00:43:37,178
And he wouldn't have his breakfast
until he'd had his walk.
596
00:43:37,247 --> 00:43:39,477
Not even a hot drink.
597
00:43:39,550 --> 00:43:42,519
Did he visit the seal pens a lot?
598
00:43:42,586 --> 00:43:44,486
It was his favorite walk.
599
00:44:54,725 --> 00:44:56,852
(Edward) Lovejoy!
600
00:44:56,927 --> 00:45:00,124
Hey, Lovejoy! How you making out?
601
00:45:00,197 --> 00:45:02,529
Have you found it yet?
602
00:45:04,201 --> 00:45:08,103
- You'd better start guessing right!
- What do you mean?
603
00:45:08,772 --> 00:45:10,706
Guessing where it is.
604
00:45:12,076 --> 00:45:14,601
Take your time.
605
00:45:14,678 --> 00:45:16,270
I can wait.
606
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:20,839
When you guess right,
I'll come over and haul you up.
607
00:45:20,918 --> 00:45:23,716
- And if I don't?
- You will.
608
00:45:25,255 --> 00:45:27,587
You can have as many guesses as you like.
609
00:45:27,658 --> 00:45:30,491
I'm not afraid of you, Edward.
610
00:45:32,062 --> 00:45:33,859
Help!
611
00:45:33,931 --> 00:45:35,796
Lovejoy?
612
00:45:35,866 --> 00:45:38,357
You ever seen lead shot ricochet?
613
00:45:39,336 --> 00:45:43,966
One shot in that cage and you'll be mashed
like a tomato in a blender.
614
00:45:45,609 --> 00:45:47,873
Well, then you'll know sod all, won't you?
615
00:45:47,945 --> 00:45:49,913
Knock it off!
616
00:45:49,980 --> 00:45:52,346
Where you are is of consequence
of what you know,
617
00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:54,509
what you got from the old man's little books.
618
00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:58,681
When you're dead, I'll come over there
and have access to both, right?
619
00:46:00,524 --> 00:46:02,719
Maybe we can do a deal.
620
00:46:02,793 --> 00:46:05,921
Whatever there is is strictly for the two of us.
621
00:46:06,630 --> 00:46:08,598
And what'll she end up with?
622
00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:14,002
"The two of us"?
623
00:46:14,071 --> 00:46:15,868
I do know.
624
00:46:15,939 --> 00:46:18,908
And I'm not sharing it
with some frigid lizard like you!
625
00:46:18,976 --> 00:46:21,171
You think I'm screwing around, huh?
626
00:46:35,292 --> 00:46:36,520
Lovejoy?
627
00:46:40,030 --> 00:46:42,055
Lovejoy?
628
00:46:43,767 --> 00:46:45,632
Lovejoy?
629
00:46:47,171 --> 00:46:49,662
I had to, he was gonna shoot you.
630
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,499
He was like a crazy thing.
631
00:46:52,576 --> 00:46:55,739
- I didn't mean to, I was so afraid...
- It's all right, it's all right.
632
00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:58,247
He was so obsessed by some fanciful idea.
633
00:46:58,315 --> 00:47:01,716
It wasn't fanciful.
There is something, I know where it is.
634
00:47:01,785 --> 00:47:03,412
- You do?
- Like a flash.
635
00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:06,320
It's funny what fear can do to you. Pairs.
636
00:47:06,390 --> 00:47:08,449
Bexon's clues were all in pairs.
637
00:47:08,525 --> 00:47:13,553
Two Roman coins, two sketches,
two Isabella's, two diaries.
638
00:47:13,630 --> 00:47:17,794
Listen, I want you to get back,
find my friends Eric and Jane.
639
00:47:17,868 --> 00:47:21,235
Yes, I know where they are,
that's how we were able to follow you.
640
00:47:21,305 --> 00:47:24,206
Well, wait with them, for me, OK?
641
00:49:21,191 --> 00:49:24,490
Ysbal, original Isabella.
642
00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:31,992
(Gun is cocked)
643
00:49:32,069 --> 00:49:34,469
This is where we say goodbye.
644
00:49:34,538 --> 00:49:37,735
- Oh, you wouldn't use that.
- I pushed Edward.
645
00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:39,139
You were saving me.
646
00:49:39,209 --> 00:49:42,406
I would have pushed him sooner or later.
647
00:49:44,181 --> 00:49:49,448
This treasure buys a ticket to a lot of things
and he was never to be included.
648
00:49:49,519 --> 00:49:53,751
- Don't suppose he was your brother.
- No, we were partners.
649
00:49:53,824 --> 00:49:55,121
But he was weak and scared.
650
00:49:55,192 --> 00:49:59,492
You wouldn't have known we'd got the drawings
if he'd finished off that gay dealer.
651
00:49:59,563 --> 00:50:01,463
While we were having our cozy lunch.
652
00:50:29,993 --> 00:50:31,290
(Screams)
653
00:50:40,170 --> 00:50:42,638
- Lovejoy?
- Darling?
654
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:48,478
You know when you're in prison,
sewing mail bags and eating baked beans,
655
00:50:48,545 --> 00:50:51,446
you'll look back fondly on our cozy little lunch.
656
00:51:23,046 --> 00:51:25,879
- Lovejoy.
- Yes, sweetheart?
657
00:51:28,518 --> 00:51:31,749
Lovejoy, there's something
I have to get off my chest.
658
00:51:31,822 --> 00:51:35,553
- Oh, I hope it's your sweater.
- No, I'm serious.
659
00:51:35,625 --> 00:51:38,958
And I want you to be. And honest.
660
00:51:39,029 --> 00:51:41,054
What is it?
661
00:51:41,131 --> 00:51:44,623
When we turned over the coins
to the authorities, well...
662
00:51:44,701 --> 00:51:47,727
frankly, there didn't seem to be all that many.
663
00:51:49,372 --> 00:51:52,671
- I suppose what I'm trying to say is...
- Did I take any?
664
00:51:52,742 --> 00:51:54,539
Well, yes.
665
00:51:55,612 --> 00:51:58,137
I'm taking the share of the value,
which we all are.
666
00:51:58,215 --> 00:51:59,910
Which will pay my rent, my car,
667
00:51:59,983 --> 00:52:02,952
and I'll have a little money left over
as a cushion to live on.
668
00:52:03,019 --> 00:52:06,113
That keeps me ahead of the game.
Nose in front.
669
00:52:06,189 --> 00:52:09,158
That's all I ask from life,
I thought you'd understand that.
670
00:52:13,730 --> 00:52:15,357
Sorry.
671
00:52:18,802 --> 00:52:20,099
You're forgiven.
672
00:52:29,079 --> 00:52:31,274
- Any messages?
- Lots of bills.
673
00:52:33,750 --> 00:52:38,244
Lovejoy, are there some coins in this pocket?
674
00:52:39,489 --> 00:52:41,389
For a rainy day, Eric.
675
00:52:44,961 --> 00:52:46,929
For a rainy day.
54394
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