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1
00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:13,697
Rudy, Come On.
2
00:01:13,697 --> 00:01:14,897
Everybody!
3
00:01:14,897 --> 00:01:19,130
We Got 40 Minutes
To Get Down To The Show.
4
00:01:19,130 --> 00:01:21,030
We're Going
To Be Late.
5
00:01:21,030 --> 00:01:22,864
That's It. Here We Go.
6
00:01:22,864 --> 00:01:24,030
We Can't Leave Yet.
7
00:01:24,030 --> 00:01:26,697
Peter And His Brother
Aren't Here Yet.
8
00:01:26,697 --> 00:01:29,630
We Can Wait A Minute
For Them, Okay?
9
00:01:29,630 --> 00:01:31,164
Will We Like The Show?
10
00:01:31,164 --> 00:01:32,864
Of Course You'll Like It.
11
00:01:35,364 --> 00:01:37,830
And They Have Clowns,
Comics...
12
00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:40,597
Do They Have A Blues Band?
13
00:01:40,597 --> 00:01:42,030
I Dig
The Blues.
14
00:01:42,030 --> 00:01:44,030
I Don't Think So.
15
00:01:44,030 --> 00:01:44,864
(Doorbell)
16
00:01:44,864 --> 00:01:47,030
There They Are.
17
00:01:47,030 --> 00:01:48,897
Hah, All Right, On Time.
18
00:01:48,897 --> 00:01:50,630
How Are You,
Mr. Chiara?
19
00:01:50,630 --> 00:01:51,697
Hi.
20
00:01:51,697 --> 00:01:53,197
And My Friend.
21
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:54,697
How Are You, Peter?
22
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:58,064
And Look At
Your Brother Paul.
23
00:01:58,064 --> 00:01:59,530
Hi, Dr. Huxtable.
24
00:01:59,530 --> 00:02:00,697
Good To See You.
25
00:02:00,697 --> 00:02:01,664
What's New?
26
00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:04,864
Everything's All Right.
27
00:02:04,864 --> 00:02:06,564
What's With You?
28
00:02:06,564 --> 00:02:07,530
Same Old Thing.
29
00:02:07,530 --> 00:02:08,764
Life Goes On.
30
00:02:08,764 --> 00:02:10,430
You Know How It Is.
31
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:13,530
Yes, I Certainly Do.
32
00:02:13,530 --> 00:02:16,164
I'll Bring Them Home
In Time For Dinner.
33
00:02:16,164 --> 00:02:17,164
Thanks.
34
00:02:17,164 --> 00:02:18,364
Okay, You Guys
35
00:02:18,364 --> 00:02:20,230
Line Up According To Size.
36
00:02:20,230 --> 00:02:22,297
Line Up According To Size.
37
00:02:22,297 --> 00:02:23,597
All Right
38
00:02:23,597 --> 00:02:27,030
We're Going To See
"A Salute To Vaudeville."
39
00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:29,930
Everybody Understand The Rules?
40
00:02:29,930 --> 00:02:31,430
Yes.
41
00:02:31,430 --> 00:02:33,030
This Is My Team.
42
00:02:33,030 --> 00:02:35,864
You're All Going
To Be Well Behaved.
43
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:39,164
We Will Be Well Behaved.
44
00:02:39,164 --> 00:02:41,530
You Will Keep Your Hands
To Yourselves.
45
00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:44,297
We'll Keep Our Hands
To Ourselves.
46
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:46,330
No Taking Anybody's
Scarf Or Hat
47
00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:49,064
Rolling Down The Window,
Putting Your Arm Out
48
00:02:49,064 --> 00:02:51,030
And Using It As A Flag.
49
00:02:51,030 --> 00:02:53,630
No Taking Anybody's
Hat Or Scarf
50
00:02:53,630 --> 00:02:58,064
And Rolling Down The Window
And Waving A Flag.
51
00:03:02,497 --> 00:03:06,930
No Putting Your Finger
In Your Nose.
52
00:03:06,930 --> 00:03:10,297
No Putting Your Finger
In Your Nose.
53
00:03:10,297 --> 00:03:12,397
And Pulling Out Something.
54
00:03:12,397 --> 00:03:14,797
And Pulling Out Something.
55
00:03:14,797 --> 00:03:16,497
Or Flicking It.
56
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,430
Or Flicking It.
57
00:03:18,430 --> 00:03:20,264
And Hitting Me In The Head.
58
00:03:20,264 --> 00:03:22,930
And Hitting You In The Head.
59
00:03:25,097 --> 00:03:26,830
What Do You Say?
60
00:03:26,830 --> 00:03:28,630
I Don't Know.
61
00:03:28,630 --> 00:03:30,497
Let The Show Begin.
62
00:03:30,497 --> 00:03:32,030
Let The Show Begin.
63
00:03:32,030 --> 00:03:34,030
Forward!
64
00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:36,397
Hup, Toop, Tipop,
Tilip Top Hipop
65
00:03:36,397 --> 00:03:38,197
Tilip Top Hipop...
66
00:03:43,864 --> 00:03:47,664
Just A Little Toward
The Light, Please.
67
00:03:47,664 --> 00:03:48,730
I Am Really Happy
68
00:03:48,730 --> 00:03:50,064
That You're Helping Me
69
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,764
With My Election Campaign.
70
00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:52,797
Hi.
71
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:53,897
Hi, Robert.
72
00:03:53,897 --> 00:03:55,630
What Are You
Doing Here?
73
00:03:55,630 --> 00:03:59,564
I Wanted To See Your Father,
But He Had To Leave
74
00:03:59,564 --> 00:04:00,530
So I'm
Waiting.
75
00:04:00,530 --> 00:04:02,197
Excuse Me.
76
00:04:02,197 --> 00:04:04,430
I Don't Believe We've Met.
77
00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:07,864
At Least,
Not In This Lifetime.
78
00:04:07,864 --> 00:04:09,330
My Name Is Morgan.
79
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:11,330
Morgan's A Pretty Name.
80
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:12,364
It Fits You.
81
00:04:12,364 --> 00:04:13,330
Thanks.
82
00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:15,497
You Have An Aura About You--
83
00:04:15,497 --> 00:04:16,697
A Glow.
84
00:04:16,697 --> 00:04:19,297
I Must Admit I'm Drawn To It.
85
00:04:19,297 --> 00:04:21,597
Why Don't We Go To The Store
86
00:04:21,597 --> 00:04:24,697
And Pick Up Some More Supplies
For The Campaign?
87
00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:25,830
Let Me Come Along.
88
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,497
No, You Stay Here.
89
00:04:27,497 --> 00:04:29,530
Yeah, Robert,
You Better Stay Here.
90
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:32,697
Think Of Some More Campaign
Slogans For My Election.
91
00:04:32,697 --> 00:04:35,664
Okay, I'll Think Of Slogans
That Make People Aware
92
00:04:35,664 --> 00:04:37,197
Of The Cosmic
Essence.
93
00:04:37,197 --> 00:04:39,864
Mrs. Huxtable, Fate
Works In Strange Ways.
94
00:04:39,864 --> 00:04:43,630
I Realize Why I Was
Brought Over Here Today.
95
00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:45,930
To Meet And Marry Morgan.
96
00:04:47,230 --> 00:04:50,097
I Feel Our Destinies
Are Undeniably Intertwined.
97
00:04:50,097 --> 00:04:51,197
Robert.
98
00:04:52,197 --> 00:04:55,264
Would You Mind
If I Took A Nap?
99
00:04:55,264 --> 00:04:57,430
You Don't Have To Entertain Me.
100
00:04:57,430 --> 00:05:01,064
I Feel At Home Here--
Like I've Been Here Forever.
101
00:05:01,064 --> 00:05:03,497
I Feel The Same Way, Robert.
102
00:05:06,797 --> 00:05:09,864
Are You Sure
This Is The Right Place?
103
00:05:09,864 --> 00:05:12,730
Well, This Is The Address
In The Paper.
104
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,830
You Promised Us
A Fancy Theater
105
00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:16,464
With Chandeliers
And Velvet Seats.
106
00:05:16,464 --> 00:05:19,197
This Place Is
Nothing Like That.
107
00:05:19,197 --> 00:05:21,230
Yeah, This Is A Dump.
108
00:05:23,464 --> 00:05:24,864
Oh, Hi.
109
00:05:24,864 --> 00:05:27,130
I'm Pamela.
110
00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:28,397
You Can Sit Down
Wherever You Like.
111
00:05:28,397 --> 00:05:29,697
Rudy:
Front Row!
112
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:32,730
Where's The Popcorn?
113
00:05:32,730 --> 00:05:34,897
We Don't Have Popcorn.
114
00:05:34,897 --> 00:05:35,864
What Is There?
115
00:05:35,864 --> 00:05:36,864
Just Coffee.
116
00:05:36,864 --> 00:05:39,030
Do You Have
Coffee Ice Cream?
117
00:05:39,030 --> 00:05:40,264
No, Just
Coffee.
118
00:05:40,264 --> 00:05:42,830
I'm Glad Someone Showed Up.
119
00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:44,730
We Haven't Had This Many
People In Weeks.
120
00:05:44,730 --> 00:05:48,464
You Mean We're The Only Ones
Who Will Be Here?
121
00:05:48,464 --> 00:05:49,697
Looks That Way.
122
00:05:50,864 --> 00:05:52,697
We Can Start The Show
Immediately.
123
00:05:52,697 --> 00:05:54,764
Okay, Just One Second.
124
00:05:54,764 --> 00:05:55,964
Um...
125
00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:58,930
Okay, They're Going
To Start The Show Now.
126
00:05:58,930 --> 00:06:02,664
Does Anyone Here
Have To Go To The Bathroom?
127
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:07,664
Is There Anyone Here Who
Wants A Drink Of Water?
128
00:06:07,664 --> 00:06:09,297
Can I Have A Milkshake?
129
00:06:09,297 --> 00:06:11,730
No, Dear, They Just Have Coffee.
130
00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:14,397
I'll Have
A Cup Of Coffee.
131
00:06:14,397 --> 00:06:17,930
Nobody's Going To Have
Any Coffee.
132
00:06:17,930 --> 00:06:21,364
All Right, Now Have We
Got That Straight?
133
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,130
Straight?
134
00:06:23,130 --> 00:06:24,964
Straight.
135
00:06:24,964 --> 00:06:26,597
All Right.
136
00:06:26,597 --> 00:06:28,164
Thank You.
137
00:06:28,164 --> 00:06:29,164
Okay.
138
00:06:29,164 --> 00:06:31,164
Jeff, We're Ready.
139
00:06:33,897 --> 00:06:37,497
(Drum Roll)
140
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:40,730
Good Afternoon,
Ladies And Gentlemen.
141
00:06:40,730 --> 00:06:45,730
Welcome To The Performance.
142
00:06:45,730 --> 00:06:46,997
(Cymbals Crashing)
143
00:06:48,564 --> 00:06:50,764
Good Afternoon,
Ladies And Gentlemen.
144
00:06:50,764 --> 00:06:52,130
We're Boys And Girls.
145
00:06:52,130 --> 00:06:54,397
Well, Welcome To
"A Salute To Vaudeville."
146
00:06:54,397 --> 00:06:57,397
It's A Thrilling, Scintillating
Afternoon Of Entertainment
147
00:06:57,397 --> 00:07:01,197
Guaranteed To Keep You
Glued To Your Seats.
148
00:07:01,197 --> 00:07:03,364
I Have To Go
To The Bathroom.
149
00:07:03,364 --> 00:07:04,697
Me, Too.
150
00:07:04,697 --> 00:07:08,964
Didn't I Ask If Anybody
Had To Go To The Bathroom?
151
00:07:08,964 --> 00:07:09,764
Yes.
152
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:12,630
I Didn't Have To Go Then.
153
00:07:12,630 --> 00:07:13,897
Me, Neither.
154
00:07:13,897 --> 00:07:14,930
I'm Sorry.
155
00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:16,297
Oh, It's No Problem.
156
00:07:16,297 --> 00:07:17,397
Where Is It?
157
00:07:17,397 --> 00:07:18,430
It Is...
158
00:07:18,430 --> 00:07:20,697
Okay, Come On, Let's Go.
159
00:07:20,697 --> 00:07:23,797
(Drum Roll)
160
00:07:32,030 --> 00:07:33,364
I'm Sorry.
161
00:07:33,364 --> 00:07:35,530
There Shouldn't Be
Any More Interruptions.
162
00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:37,864
Thank You.
163
00:07:37,864 --> 00:07:38,764
And Now, Pamela, The Lights.
164
00:07:38,764 --> 00:07:39,897
Uh, Ladies
And Gentlemen
165
00:07:39,897 --> 00:07:41,264
And Boys And Girls
166
00:07:41,264 --> 00:07:43,664
And Daddies
And Mommies Who Are Home
167
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,997
I'd Like To Introduce
Our First Performer.
168
00:07:45,997 --> 00:07:48,864
He Is The Great Ballantine.
169
00:07:48,864 --> 00:07:54,664
(♪ Vaudeville Fanfare ♪)
170
00:07:54,664 --> 00:07:55,864
Take Your Time.
171
00:07:55,864 --> 00:07:57,597
Always A Few Slow Readers.
172
00:07:59,764 --> 00:08:01,130
Name Dropper.
173
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:05,030
What Do You Say
We Get On With The Show?
174
00:08:05,030 --> 00:08:07,464
Best Crowd We've Had In Years.
175
00:08:07,464 --> 00:08:08,564
Pamela, The Garbage.
176
00:08:08,564 --> 00:08:11,364
All War Surplus,
Every Piece Of It.
177
00:08:11,364 --> 00:08:12,764
Thank You, Dear.
178
00:08:14,064 --> 00:08:17,864
No Trick, Just Keeping The Dust
Off The Basket.
179
00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:21,230
Here We Go.
180
00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:21,564
Up!
181
00:08:22,697 --> 00:08:25,064
Not Bad For The First, Huh?
182
00:08:25,064 --> 00:08:26,797
Only The Beginning.
183
00:08:29,997 --> 00:08:31,730
(Cliff
Laughing)
184
00:08:31,730 --> 00:08:32,764
Don't Laugh.
185
00:08:32,764 --> 00:08:35,197
You May Have Bags
In Your Pants.
186
00:08:35,197 --> 00:08:37,264
This Is My Best Trick.
187
00:08:37,264 --> 00:08:42,164
From An Empty Paper Bag
I Produce A 68-Pound Pigeon.
188
00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:44,864
That's The Small One.
189
00:08:44,864 --> 00:08:46,430
Here We Go.
190
00:08:47,430 --> 00:08:48,497
That's All.
191
00:08:48,497 --> 00:08:50,764
At The Count Of Three,
The Pigeon.
192
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:51,964
One, Two...
193
00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:52,830
You Know.
194
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:54,530
Come Out Flying.
195
00:08:54,530 --> 00:08:56,064
They're Waiting.
196
00:08:56,064 --> 00:08:57,997
Let's Go.
197
00:08:57,997 --> 00:08:58,997
Up.
198
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:01,197
Fly, Boy, Fly.
199
00:09:03,597 --> 00:09:06,430
Here's The One
You've All Been Waiting For.
200
00:09:06,430 --> 00:09:07,597
Not That One.
201
00:09:07,597 --> 00:09:09,764
The Rabbit From The Top Hat.
202
00:09:09,764 --> 00:09:11,164
All Magicians Do It.
203
00:09:11,164 --> 00:09:12,297
Why Shouldn't I?
204
00:09:12,297 --> 00:09:14,764
A Few Passes
With The Old Duster-Oo.
205
00:09:14,764 --> 00:09:16,097
Inside The Hat...
206
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,097
Where's The Duster?
207
00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:19,430
Inside The Hat...
208
00:09:19,430 --> 00:09:20,497
If You're Going
To Watch That Close
209
00:09:20,497 --> 00:09:21,930
The Trick Is Off.
210
00:09:23,197 --> 00:09:24,830
Here's The Big One.
211
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:27,197
I'll Make The Whole Audience
Disappear.
212
00:09:27,197 --> 00:09:29,097
I Don't Kid Around.
213
00:09:29,097 --> 00:09:32,930
Way To Go,
Kimosabe.
214
00:09:32,930 --> 00:09:35,697
And Now,
Tense Moment In The Act.
215
00:09:35,697 --> 00:09:37,864
Not For You. Me.
216
00:09:37,864 --> 00:09:40,930
I Pluck 10,000 Cards
One At A Time
217
00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:42,264
With My Fingertips.
218
00:09:42,264 --> 00:09:43,264
10,000.
219
00:09:43,264 --> 00:09:46,030
I've Got To See That Myself.
220
00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:52,164
(♪ Vaudeville Fanfare ♪)
221
00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:56,630
Wake 'Em Up.
222
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,597
(Crash!)
223
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:01,430
Wasn't That Funny, Huh?
224
00:10:01,430 --> 00:10:02,464
It Was?
225
00:10:02,464 --> 00:10:05,564
It Was Hilarious, Honey.
226
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,697
It Might Be Funny
If We Were Old.
227
00:10:10,297 --> 00:10:12,930
Can We Get Ice Cream
On The Way Home?
228
00:10:12,930 --> 00:10:13,997
Sure We Can.
229
00:10:13,997 --> 00:10:15,930
Can We Go Home Now?
230
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:17,597
No, Give It A Chance.
231
00:10:17,597 --> 00:10:18,564
The Great Ballantine.
232
00:10:18,564 --> 00:10:19,464
Wasn't He Something?
233
00:10:19,464 --> 00:10:20,864
Yes, He Was.
234
00:10:20,864 --> 00:10:23,197
Before I Introduce This Next Act
235
00:10:23,197 --> 00:10:25,764
Which I'm Sure You'll Enjoy
236
00:10:25,764 --> 00:10:28,497
Does Anybody Have To
Go To The Bathroom?
237
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:29,764
I Do.
238
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,864
But You Just Went.
239
00:10:34,864 --> 00:10:37,764
That Time I Only
Washed My Hands.
240
00:10:37,764 --> 00:10:40,564
I'm Sorry.
241
00:10:40,564 --> 00:10:41,930
Pamela,
The Lights.
242
00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:43,964
Does Anybody Else
Have To Go?
243
00:10:43,964 --> 00:10:45,864
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
244
00:10:58,530 --> 00:10:59,530
Hi.
245
00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:00,630
Hi, Robert.
246
00:11:00,630 --> 00:11:02,630
The Girls Went
For Another Walk.
247
00:11:02,630 --> 00:11:05,697
They've Taken Three Walks
In The Last Hour.
248
00:11:05,697 --> 00:11:06,697
Yeah.
249
00:11:06,697 --> 00:11:08,163
This Is Causing Problems
250
00:11:08,163 --> 00:11:10,030
In My Relationship With Morgan.
251
00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:13,263
You Have
A "Relationship" With Morgan?
252
00:11:13,263 --> 00:11:14,297
Oh, Definitely.
253
00:11:14,297 --> 00:11:16,763
That Woman Will Be My Wife.
254
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,130
Does She Know This, Robert?
255
00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:21,097
She Has A Sense Of It.
256
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,197
Before They Left,
I Told Her:
257
00:11:23,197 --> 00:11:25,697
"We Are Like Two Stalks Of Corn
258
00:11:25,697 --> 00:11:28,297
"Planted In The Field
Of Spiritual Oneness
259
00:11:28,297 --> 00:11:31,597
Waiting For The Harvest
Of Love."
260
00:11:34,130 --> 00:11:36,263
I'm Going For A Walk.
261
00:11:39,863 --> 00:11:40,897
What's So Funny?
262
00:11:40,897 --> 00:11:42,097
Two Stalks Of What
263
00:11:42,097 --> 00:11:44,030
Waiting Where For Which?
264
00:11:45,963 --> 00:11:48,030
Robert, You're One Of A Kind.
265
00:11:48,030 --> 00:11:49,097
I Know.
266
00:11:49,097 --> 00:11:52,330
I Guess I'm Just
On A Higher Plane.
267
00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:53,530
You Got That Right.
268
00:11:53,530 --> 00:11:56,163
Think That's Why Some Girls
Don't Like Me?
269
00:11:56,163 --> 00:11:58,663
That's Not For Me To Say.
270
00:11:58,663 --> 00:11:59,697
No, Please.
271
00:11:59,697 --> 00:12:00,997
I'd Like Your Opinion.
272
00:12:00,997 --> 00:12:02,597
What Am I Doing Wrong?
273
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:05,463
When You Meet A Girl,
You Want To Marry Her
274
00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:06,997
And You Know
Nothing About Her.
275
00:12:06,997 --> 00:12:08,063
That's Not True.
276
00:12:08,063 --> 00:12:10,230
What's Morgan's Last Name?
277
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,830
Um...
278
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:12,997
I Don't Know.
279
00:12:12,997 --> 00:12:14,563
But It Doesn't Matter
280
00:12:14,563 --> 00:12:17,630
Because I Want Her
To Have My Last Name.
281
00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:20,963
Robert, Don't Rush Things
With Morgan.
282
00:12:20,963 --> 00:12:23,363
Just Let Everything
Evolve Naturally.
283
00:12:23,363 --> 00:12:24,563
Life Is Funny.
284
00:12:24,563 --> 00:12:26,830
I Thought My Purpose
In Coming Here
285
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,830
Was To Meet And Marry Morgan.
286
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:31,463
Now I Realize
My True Reason--
287
00:12:31,463 --> 00:12:35,330
To Partake Of The Wisdom
Of Mrs. Clair Huxtable.
288
00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:37,530
Last Name, Robert.
289
00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:40,330
Get The Girl's Last Name.
290
00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:41,697
All Right.
291
00:12:45,763 --> 00:12:47,130
I'm Sorry.
292
00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:50,730
Her Comb Went Further
Down The Drain Than I Thought.
293
00:12:53,530 --> 00:12:54,930
All Right.
294
00:12:54,930 --> 00:12:57,063
There We Go.
295
00:12:57,063 --> 00:12:58,530
Easy, Fella.
296
00:12:58,530 --> 00:13:01,497
Shall We Begin The Show Again?
297
00:13:01,497 --> 00:13:02,430
Yes, Sir.
298
00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:03,597
Uh, Pamela.
299
00:13:03,597 --> 00:13:06,263
The Lights.
The Lights.
300
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:08,897
Well, Ladies And Gentlemen,
Our Next Performer
301
00:13:08,897 --> 00:13:12,497
Has Been Seen In All
The Top Eastern Comedy Clubs.
302
00:13:12,497 --> 00:13:14,663
Give A Rousing
Vaudeville Welcome
303
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:17,563
To The Wall Street Comic,
Andy Witherspoon Iii.
304
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:19,230
(Rim Shot)
305
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:20,663
Thank You.
306
00:13:20,663 --> 00:13:21,663
Thank You.
307
00:13:21,663 --> 00:13:23,497
As You Can Tell
308
00:13:23,497 --> 00:13:25,663
I'm A Business School Graduate.
309
00:13:25,663 --> 00:13:28,530
Are There Any Other Business
School Graduates Here Today?
310
00:13:30,597 --> 00:13:31,997
Uh, You, Sir?
311
00:13:31,997 --> 00:13:33,730
I'm A Doctor.
312
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,897
Well, It Doesn't Matter.
313
00:13:35,897 --> 00:13:40,897
Anyway, At My Business School,
The Dorm Rules Were Very Strict.
314
00:13:40,897 --> 00:13:43,597
No Corporate Raiding
After Midnight.
315
00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:47,130
Uh... Moving Right Along...
316
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,597
After Business School
317
00:13:48,597 --> 00:13:51,863
I Got A Job With
A Major Investment Firm.
318
00:13:51,863 --> 00:13:53,897
They Started Me At The Bottom.
319
00:13:53,897 --> 00:13:56,363
I Cleaned Up After
The Bull Every Morning.
320
00:13:57,930 --> 00:13:59,597
Which Wasn't Too Bad
321
00:13:59,597 --> 00:14:02,197
Because He Only Left Blue Chips.
322
00:14:03,530 --> 00:14:04,663
Uh...
323
00:14:04,663 --> 00:14:07,663
Would It Help If I Said
324
00:14:07,663 --> 00:14:10,363
I Knew The "Smurfs" Personally?
325
00:14:11,830 --> 00:14:13,563
I Guess Not.
326
00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:19,197
I Read Recently
Where A University
327
00:14:19,197 --> 00:14:22,697
Was Using Stockbrokers And
Rats For Medical Experiments
328
00:14:22,697 --> 00:14:26,797
But They Had To Stop Because
People Felt Sorry For The Rats.
329
00:14:31,463 --> 00:14:33,330
Kids, Kids, Kids...
330
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:37,597
My Nephew Told Me Some Jokes
I'm Sure You've Never Heard.
331
00:14:37,597 --> 00:14:40,430
What Did The Pen
Say To The Paper?
332
00:14:40,430 --> 00:14:43,197
I Dot My "Is" On You.
333
00:14:43,197 --> 00:14:46,363
(Rim Shot)
334
00:14:55,097 --> 00:14:57,597
Well, I Bet You
Don't Know This One.
335
00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:00,363
What Did The Rug
Say To The Floor?
336
00:15:00,363 --> 00:15:03,297
Hands Up, I Got You Covered.
337
00:15:03,297 --> 00:15:04,597
Good Night.
338
00:15:04,597 --> 00:15:06,663
You've Been
A Wonderful Audience.
339
00:15:06,663 --> 00:15:07,830
Eddie!!
340
00:15:10,163 --> 00:15:12,263
That Was Andy Witherspoon Iii.
341
00:15:12,263 --> 00:15:14,997
Come On Out Here, Andy,
For Another Bow.
342
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,030
Forget It!
343
00:15:18,297 --> 00:15:19,830
Ladies And Gentlemen
344
00:15:19,830 --> 00:15:23,863
I Think I See What May Be
Called For Here.
345
00:15:23,863 --> 00:15:29,630
We Will Need Just A Few Moments
While The Next Act Gets Ready.
346
00:15:29,630 --> 00:15:33,730
So If Anybody Has To Go
To The Bathroom
347
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:36,063
This Would Be A Good Time.
348
00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:39,463
Dr. Huxtable,
He's Gone.
349
00:15:39,463 --> 00:15:41,030
Let's Sneak Out.
350
00:15:41,030 --> 00:15:43,630
No, We Can't Sneak Out.
351
00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:45,630
It Would Be Impolite.
352
00:15:45,630 --> 00:15:47,863
Hope It Gets Better.
353
00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:49,097
Cliff:
Hi.
354
00:15:49,097 --> 00:15:51,963
Hi. Are You Guys
Enjoying The Show?
355
00:15:51,963 --> 00:15:53,330
Uh...
356
00:15:54,530 --> 00:15:55,930
Yes, Uh...
357
00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,997
We're Having A Little
Trouble Over Here
358
00:15:59,997 --> 00:16:05,063
And I Was Just Wondering
About The Next Act.
359
00:16:05,063 --> 00:16:06,363
Who Is It?
360
00:16:06,363 --> 00:16:07,897
Eddie, The M.C.
361
00:16:07,897 --> 00:16:09,397
What Does He Do?
362
00:16:09,397 --> 00:16:11,963
That's Hard
To Describe.
363
00:16:11,963 --> 00:16:14,163
He Does This
Combination
364
00:16:14,163 --> 00:16:17,130
Physical, Musical
Comedy Dance Thing
365
00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:20,030
With Contemporary,
Traditional Clown Themes.
366
00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:21,897
Ah, A Clown!
367
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,030
Yeah.
368
00:16:23,030 --> 00:16:24,397
Aha!
369
00:16:24,397 --> 00:16:26,797
Now Comes The Clown!
370
00:16:26,797 --> 00:16:27,830
♪ Ta Da! ♪
371
00:16:27,830 --> 00:16:29,197
In A Clown Suit?
372
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,097
He Doesn't Do That Anymore.
373
00:16:31,097 --> 00:16:32,730
What About
A Red Nose?
374
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:35,530
Sorry, He Sold His Nose.
375
00:16:35,530 --> 00:16:39,063
What Kind Of Clown
Doesn't Have A Red Nose?
376
00:16:39,063 --> 00:16:42,597
It Doesn't Matter
If He Doesn't Have A Red Nose.
377
00:16:42,597 --> 00:16:44,597
He's Going To Be Funny.
378
00:16:44,597 --> 00:16:49,763
You Say That Every Day,
And Nothing's Been Funny!
379
00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:56,663
Eddie:
And Now, Without Further Ado,
The Dancer Extraordinaire
380
00:16:56,663 --> 00:17:00,197
Eddie Bartholomew
And His Trunk.
381
00:17:00,197 --> 00:17:02,897
(Drum Roll)
382
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,197
Huh?
383
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:05,563
Was It?
384
00:17:12,230 --> 00:17:17,730
(Drum Roll)
385
00:17:19,530 --> 00:17:20,897
All Right.
386
00:17:22,230 --> 00:17:23,530
(Drum Roll)
387
00:17:35,497 --> 00:17:37,897
(Vacuum Cleaner Whirring)
388
00:17:52,163 --> 00:17:55,163
(♪ Swing Music ♪)
389
00:17:55,163 --> 00:17:57,330
It's A Blues Band.
390
00:17:59,330 --> 00:18:00,830
I'll Get It.
391
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:04,063
(♪ Swing Music ♪)
392
00:19:04,730 --> 00:19:07,497
Yea!
393
00:19:12,263 --> 00:19:13,730
Bravo!
394
00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:15,230
Yea!
395
00:19:20,297 --> 00:19:22,863
All Right, You All
Know Your Cues.
396
00:19:22,863 --> 00:19:25,763
We'll Show Dr. Huxtable
What Vaudeville's All About.
397
00:19:25,763 --> 00:19:28,030
This Will
Be Good.
398
00:19:30,163 --> 00:19:31,263
Oh!
399
00:19:31,263 --> 00:19:32,330
Phew!
400
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:33,497
Sorry.
401
00:19:34,997 --> 00:19:36,497
All Right, Gang.
402
00:19:36,497 --> 00:19:38,163
Come On, That's It.
403
00:19:38,163 --> 00:19:40,663
We've All Had
A Wonderful Time.
404
00:19:40,663 --> 00:19:43,597
Dr. Huxtable,
The Show Isn't Over Yet.
405
00:19:43,597 --> 00:19:45,530
In The Great
Vaudevillian Tradition
406
00:19:45,530 --> 00:19:47,297
We Have An Encore.
407
00:19:47,297 --> 00:19:49,530
(Drum Roll)
408
00:19:49,530 --> 00:19:55,230
(Drum Roll)
409
00:19:55,230 --> 00:19:58,463
(Drum Cadence)
410
00:20:10,330 --> 00:20:13,497
(Drum Cadence)
411
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:16,663
(Cymbal Bang)
412
00:20:21,663 --> 00:20:25,063
(♪ Swing Music ♪)
413
00:20:25,063 --> 00:20:27,097
In You Go.
414
00:20:28,730 --> 00:20:30,263
Yeah... In.
415
00:20:44,863 --> 00:20:46,263
Ready?
416
00:20:46,263 --> 00:20:47,330
Okay.
417
00:20:59,363 --> 00:21:01,797
Bravo!
418
00:21:01,797 --> 00:21:03,397
Bravo!
419
00:21:05,863 --> 00:21:08,430
What A Great,Great Ending!
420
00:21:08,430 --> 00:21:09,497
And Now...
421
00:21:09,497 --> 00:21:10,730
Lock 'Em In.
422
00:21:10,730 --> 00:21:12,863
I'm Going For Some Ice Cream!
423
00:21:12,863 --> 00:21:15,450
No-O-O!
26975
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