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1
00:00:56,329 --> 00:00:57,497
Hey.
2
00:00:57,497 --> 00:00:58,851
Hey, Sis.
3
00:00:58,851 --> 00:00:59,923
You Going Somewhere?
4
00:00:59,923 --> 00:01:02,921
No. I Spent The Weekend
At Cockroach's House.
5
00:01:02,921 --> 00:01:06,626
You Didn't Even Notice
I Was Gone.
6
00:01:06,626 --> 00:01:07,920
But Welcome Home.
7
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,924
Come See Something
In My Room.
8
00:01:09,924 --> 00:01:11,918
I Hate Going In There.
9
00:01:11,918 --> 00:01:13,366
I Cleaned It Up.
10
00:01:15,835 --> 00:01:17,503
It DoesLook Better.
11
00:01:17,503 --> 00:01:19,572
What's Up?
12
00:01:19,572 --> 00:01:20,921
This.
13
00:01:20,921 --> 00:01:22,675
Theo, An Earring!
14
00:01:22,675 --> 00:01:23,918
Shh!
15
00:01:25,511 --> 00:01:27,926
I Had It Done
Friday After School.
16
00:01:27,926 --> 00:01:29,927
That's Great!
It Looks Fantastic!
17
00:01:29,927 --> 00:01:33,925
It Says I'm Old Enough
To Make My Own Decisions.
18
00:01:33,925 --> 00:01:35,721
Your Ear Looks Red.
19
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:38,920
If I Want To Put
An Earring In My Ear
20
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,226
That's My Business.
21
00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:41,494
It Looks Puffy.
22
00:01:41,494 --> 00:01:42,927
When People See This
23
00:01:42,927 --> 00:01:45,924
They'll Know They're
Dealing With A Man!
24
00:01:45,924 --> 00:01:48,267
Let Dad Look At It.
25
00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:49,735
Let Who?
26
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:50,919
Ooo!
27
00:01:50,919 --> 00:01:52,505
I Think
It's Infected.
28
00:01:52,505 --> 00:01:53,673
It Is?
29
00:01:53,673 --> 00:01:54,926
Where Was It Done?
30
00:01:54,926 --> 00:01:56,776
In Cockroach's Garage.
31
00:01:56,776 --> 00:01:59,712
You Let Cockroach
Pierce Your Ear?
32
00:01:59,712 --> 00:02:01,347
I'm Not Crazy.
33
00:02:01,347 --> 00:02:03,849
It Was His Sister,
Tootsie.
34
00:02:03,849 --> 00:02:05,451
Tootsie's In Junior High School.
35
00:02:05,451 --> 00:02:07,920
She Does This On The Side
36
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,523
And She Only Charges 99 Cents.
37
00:02:10,523 --> 00:02:13,693
If Dad Doesn't Look At It,
It Will Get Worse.
38
00:02:13,693 --> 00:02:15,695
This Is Just An Ear.
39
00:02:15,695 --> 00:02:18,921
If Dad Finds Out,
My Whole Body's In Danger.
40
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:21,921
I Didn't Say You
Could Come In Here.
41
00:02:21,921 --> 00:02:23,569
I Don't Want To.
42
00:02:23,569 --> 00:02:25,571
What Are You Doing Here?
43
00:02:25,571 --> 00:02:27,740
Denise Is Here.
44
00:02:27,740 --> 00:02:31,921
If You Are In Theo's Room,
Something Is Up.
45
00:02:31,921 --> 00:02:33,920
Nothing's Up, Vanessa.
46
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,920
Okay, But You Know
I'll Find Out Anyway.
47
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,920
I Have My Ways.
48
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:17,823
Cliff!
49
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:18,824
Yo!
50
00:03:27,867 --> 00:03:29,702
Just Having A Little Taste.
51
00:03:29,702 --> 00:03:31,923
This Pie Is For Your Parents.
52
00:03:31,923 --> 00:03:33,472
My Folks Won't Notice.
53
00:03:33,472 --> 00:03:34,807
They Did Last Time.
54
00:03:34,807 --> 00:03:35,574
How?
55
00:03:35,574 --> 00:03:38,778
When We Cut Into It,
It Was Hollow.
56
00:03:38,778 --> 00:03:41,447
My Folks Aren't
Coming Here To Eat.
57
00:03:41,447 --> 00:03:43,783
They're Coming
To Spoil The Children.
58
00:03:43,783 --> 00:03:46,552
What Do You Expect?
They're Grandparents.
59
00:03:46,552 --> 00:03:47,918
Right. Grandparents.
60
00:03:47,918 --> 00:03:51,918
These Are Not The Same
People I Grew Up With.
61
00:03:51,918 --> 00:03:55,394
They're The
Biggest Hypocrites
You've Ever Seen.
62
00:03:55,394 --> 00:03:58,918
My Father Comes In,
Goes Into His Pocket
63
00:03:58,918 --> 00:04:01,400
Pulls Out
A Handful Of Money.
64
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,570
"Let's See If
Granddad Has Any Money
65
00:04:04,570 --> 00:04:06,605
For These
Wonderful Children."
66
00:04:07,918 --> 00:04:09,423
This Is The Same Man...
67
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:13,184
When I Was His Child,
I Would Ask Him For Fifty Cents.
68
00:04:13,184 --> 00:04:16,187
The Man Would Tell Me
His Life Story.
69
00:04:16,187 --> 00:04:19,747
This Man Would Tell Me
How At Age Five
70
00:04:19,747 --> 00:04:22,048
He Woke Up 4:00 Every Morning.
71
00:04:22,048 --> 00:04:25,218
Had No Alarm Clock,
Had No Rooster
72
00:04:25,218 --> 00:04:27,841
Just A Sense Of Responsibility.
73
00:04:27,841 --> 00:04:29,041
Oh, Cliff.
74
00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:30,611
No, My
Father
75
00:04:30,611 --> 00:04:35,036
Found A Job Milking 12o Cows.
76
00:04:35,036 --> 00:04:39,044
The Man He Worked For
Had No Bucket.
77
00:04:39,044 --> 00:04:44,625
So He Had To Squirt The Milk
Into His Hand
78
00:04:44,625 --> 00:04:47,036
Walk Eight Miles...
79
00:04:48,362 --> 00:04:50,864
Through Snow Up To Here...
80
00:04:53,534 --> 00:04:56,868
And My Mother
Is The Same Way, Too.
81
00:04:56,868 --> 00:04:59,637
She's One Of
The Sweetest People I Know.
82
00:04:59,637 --> 00:05:01,903
I Didn't Say She Wasn't Sweet
83
00:05:01,903 --> 00:05:05,905
But This Woman
Comes Over Here To The House
84
00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:07,378
Kisses Every Child--
85
00:05:07,378 --> 00:05:09,905
"Just Come In
And Kiss Your Grandmother.
86
00:05:09,905 --> 00:05:12,383
"You're The Most
Beautiful Children
87
00:05:12,383 --> 00:05:15,319
On The Face Of This Earth."
88
00:05:15,319 --> 00:05:17,903
But When I
Was Her Child
89
00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:22,905
All This Woman Ever Wanted To Do
Was Take A Stick
90
00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:26,900
And Ask God
To Give Her Enough Strength
91
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:29,900
So She Could Knock Us Somewhere.
92
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:31,536
To This Day
93
00:05:31,536 --> 00:05:35,540
I Still Don't Know
Where "Kingdom Come" Is.
94
00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:39,377
All She Is,
As Far As I'm Concerned
95
00:05:39,377 --> 00:05:43,848
Is An Old Person
Trying To Get Into Heaven Now.
96
00:05:44,908 --> 00:05:46,384
Daddy.
97
00:05:46,384 --> 00:05:47,585
Yeah, Dear?
98
00:05:47,585 --> 00:05:49,420
What Would You Do
99
00:05:49,420 --> 00:05:52,390
If Someone You Loved
Swore You To Secrecy
100
00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:54,225
But Keeping That Secret
101
00:05:54,225 --> 00:05:56,901
Might Not Be Good
For That Person?
102
00:05:56,901 --> 00:06:00,364
Is The Person
Sworn To Secrecy
In This Family?
103
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,401
Yeah.
104
00:06:03,401 --> 00:06:06,537
Is The Secrecy Juicy?
105
00:06:07,538 --> 00:06:08,900
Yeah.
106
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:10,374
Tell It.
107
00:06:11,843 --> 00:06:13,211
If I Tell You
108
00:06:13,211 --> 00:06:15,313
This Person
Will Hate Me Forever.
109
00:06:15,313 --> 00:06:16,907
You Have To,
For Their Own Good.
110
00:06:16,907 --> 00:06:18,902
I'll Give You A Clue.
111
00:06:18,902 --> 00:06:21,901
That Way, You'll Figure It Out
For Yourselves.
112
00:06:21,901 --> 00:06:22,620
A Clue?
113
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:23,902
Earlobes.
114
00:06:29,906 --> 00:06:31,462
Earlobes!
115
00:06:31,462 --> 00:06:32,902
What About Earlobes?
116
00:06:32,902 --> 00:06:34,632
All I'm Saying Is
117
00:06:34,632 --> 00:06:42,500
Does Everybody In This House
Have Two Healthy Earlobes?
118
00:06:49,627 --> 00:06:51,262
(Knocking)
119
00:06:51,262 --> 00:06:51,966
Who Is It?
120
00:06:51,966 --> 00:06:52,964
Dad.
121
00:06:52,964 --> 00:06:54,539
Hold On.
122
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,446
Okay, Come In.
123
00:07:03,962 --> 00:07:05,283
What's Happening, Dad?
124
00:07:14,325 --> 00:07:16,965
♪ Never Gonna Clean It Up ♪
125
00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:21,399
♪ No Matter How Messy It Gets ♪
126
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:24,302
♪ You're Never
Gonna Clean It Up ♪
127
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,745
Son?
128
00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:34,545
Yeah, Dad?
129
00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:39,617
There's No Music
Coming Through The Headset.
130
00:07:39,617 --> 00:07:44,619
You Still Bopping To
What's Left In Your Brain?
131
00:07:44,619 --> 00:07:46,583
Take The Headset Off.
132
00:07:46,583 --> 00:07:47,551
Now?
133
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:51,623
Is There Any Reason
Why You Shouldn't Take Them Off?
134
00:07:51,623 --> 00:07:53,123
Okay.
135
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:12,142
Guys Sure Can
Get Up, Huh?
136
00:08:12,142 --> 00:08:13,477
Yeah.
137
00:09:17,207 --> 00:09:19,443
Denise Told You, Right?
138
00:09:19,443 --> 00:09:21,624
Told Me What?
139
00:09:21,624 --> 00:09:23,624
About This.
140
00:09:23,624 --> 00:09:25,624
Is That A Decal?
141
00:09:28,085 --> 00:09:31,955
Have You Been Tagged
By The Wildlife Society?
142
00:09:32,956 --> 00:09:34,158
It's An Earring.
143
00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:36,260
There's A Hole Through My Ear.
144
00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:38,462
Denise Says
It Might Be Infected.
145
00:09:44,616 --> 00:09:46,370
Well, She's Right.
146
00:09:46,370 --> 00:09:48,616
It Is Infected.
147
00:09:48,616 --> 00:09:49,940
Come On.
148
00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:52,943
What Are You
Going To Do To Me?
149
00:09:52,943 --> 00:09:54,623
I Am Going To
Fix Your Ear.
150
00:09:54,623 --> 00:09:56,447
Then What?
151
00:09:56,447 --> 00:09:58,622
You Expecting
Some Sort Of Punishment?
152
00:09:58,622 --> 00:09:59,621
Shouldn't I?
153
00:09:59,621 --> 00:10:01,452
Yeah.
154
00:10:10,624 --> 00:10:13,197
Can't We Do This
Someplace Else?
155
00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:14,431
Why?
156
00:10:14,431 --> 00:10:18,268
Because This Place
Is For Pregnant Women.
157
00:10:18,268 --> 00:10:21,171
I Have Four Daughters
And A Son
158
00:10:21,171 --> 00:10:23,006
And Somehow I Thought
159
00:10:23,006 --> 00:10:26,343
You Would Be The One
Without The Earring.
160
00:10:29,618 --> 00:10:31,621
Why Did You Do It?
161
00:10:31,621 --> 00:10:33,283
To Kids Today
162
00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:36,086
It's Sort Of
A Sign Of Independence.
163
00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:37,620
Who's The Girl?
164
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:38,489
Huh?
165
00:10:38,489 --> 00:10:42,059
Who's The Girl?
166
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,494
Eunice Baker.
167
00:10:43,494 --> 00:10:44,561
You Love Her?
168
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,619
I Like Her.
169
00:10:45,619 --> 00:10:48,619
She Said I'd Look Good
With An Earring.
170
00:10:48,619 --> 00:10:53,971
And So Now You Could Wind Up
With Half A Head
171
00:10:53,971 --> 00:10:56,340
Because Of
The Infection.
172
00:10:56,340 --> 00:10:57,941
That's All Right, Son
173
00:10:57,941 --> 00:11:00,944
Because What I Have
In Store For You
174
00:11:00,944 --> 00:11:04,548
Is Going To Be Just Wonderful.
175
00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:05,622
What's That?
176
00:11:05,622 --> 00:11:09,386
I Imagine
He Should Be Here For Dinner
177
00:11:09,386 --> 00:11:11,488
In Another Five Minutes.
178
00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:12,618
Not Grandpa.
179
00:11:12,618 --> 00:11:13,623
Oh, Yes.
180
00:11:13,623 --> 00:11:15,092
Oh, Yes.
181
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:19,429
And Grandpa Is Going To Love
To Hear About This
182
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:23,267
Because Your Grandfather Is Like
"The National Enquirer"--
183
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:27,037
He Loves To Hear
The Untold Story.
184
00:11:27,037 --> 00:11:28,472
Maybe He Won't Notice.
185
00:11:28,472 --> 00:11:30,616
I've Fixed That Also,
My Boy.
186
00:11:30,616 --> 00:11:32,616
We're Going
To Make It
187
00:11:32,616 --> 00:11:35,279
So He Will See It
Really Good.
188
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,948
You're Not Going
To Make This Easy.
189
00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:41,619
I Could Have Put Your
Whole Head In A Sling.
190
00:11:47,686 --> 00:11:54,534
(♪Singing A Dirge♪)
191
00:11:54,534 --> 00:11:56,730
There Are My Boys!
192
00:11:59,239 --> 00:12:02,141
Take Your Time Getting To Me.
193
00:12:03,443 --> 00:12:05,808
When I Travel On
194
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,711
You'll Be Sorry
You Didn't Spend...
195
00:12:07,711 --> 00:12:10,189
More Time With
Your Mother, Yes.
196
00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:11,189
Owww!
197
00:12:14,189 --> 00:12:17,721
Are You Still Delivering
All The Babies In Town?
198
00:12:17,721 --> 00:12:18,855
Yep.
199
00:12:18,855 --> 00:12:19,856
Heathcliff.
200
00:12:19,856 --> 00:12:20,824
Yes, Ma'am.
201
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,960
How Was The Trip Over?
202
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,896
Fine, Until We Had To Park.
203
00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:30,934
I Said I Would Pay For
Parking In The Garage.
204
00:12:30,934 --> 00:12:34,189
At $8.50 An Hour? No, Sir.
205
00:12:34,189 --> 00:12:37,019
I Found A Large,
Perfectly Legal Spot
206
00:12:37,019 --> 00:12:39,372
Less Than A Mile From Here.
207
00:12:39,372 --> 00:12:41,019
By Coming In Early
208
00:12:41,019 --> 00:12:44,027
Planting Himself
At The Head Of The Block
209
00:12:44,027 --> 00:12:47,273
And Then Waiting
For Somebody To Pull Out.
210
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,728
Where Are You
Going, Son?
211
00:12:51,728 --> 00:12:53,728
Come Over Here
212
00:12:53,728 --> 00:12:56,277
And Say Hello
To Your Granddad.
213
00:12:56,277 --> 00:12:58,728
He Didn't Say Hello
To Me, Either.
214
00:12:58,728 --> 00:13:00,048
Hi, Grandma.
215
00:13:00,048 --> 00:13:01,049
Hi.
216
00:13:02,728 --> 00:13:04,552
Hey, Grandpa.
217
00:13:04,552 --> 00:13:07,388
What Happened
To Your Ear?
218
00:13:10,728 --> 00:13:13,328
I Walked Into A Door.
219
00:13:13,328 --> 00:13:16,397
I Do That Sometimes Myself.
220
00:13:16,397 --> 00:13:18,166
Go Help Mom.
221
00:13:18,166 --> 00:13:20,501
Grandma, Do You
Want To Come?
222
00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:21,728
Sure.
223
00:13:22,728 --> 00:13:23,732
Excuse Us.
224
00:13:23,732 --> 00:13:25,206
Excuse Us.
225
00:13:26,729 --> 00:13:29,728
What Really Happened
To Your Ear, Son?
226
00:13:29,728 --> 00:13:31,728
I Walked Into A Door.
227
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:32,734
Come On.
228
00:13:32,734 --> 00:13:36,384
I Heard That Old
"Walked Into A Door" Line
229
00:13:36,384 --> 00:13:40,121
From Your Dad Back In '49.
230
00:13:40,121 --> 00:13:42,090
I Got My Ear Pierced.
231
00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:43,728
On Purpose?
232
00:13:44,731 --> 00:13:46,728
Absolutely.
233
00:13:46,728 --> 00:13:51,532
Your Grandson Was Told By A Girl
234
00:13:51,532 --> 00:13:55,840
That He Would Look Good
In An Earring.
235
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:59,539
So He Went To...
Where Did You Go?
236
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,535
Cockroach's Garage.
237
00:14:04,048 --> 00:14:09,187
Cockroach's Garage,
And Had His Ear Pierced By...
238
00:14:09,187 --> 00:14:12,223
What Is The Name Of The Person?
239
00:14:12,223 --> 00:14:14,492
It Was His Sister, Tootsie.
240
00:14:14,492 --> 00:14:17,395
His Sister, Tootsie.
241
00:14:18,863 --> 00:14:21,833
Who Probably Lined Him Up
Against The Wall
242
00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:24,538
And Threw A Javelin At 60 Feet.
243
00:14:24,538 --> 00:14:26,204
I Get The Picture.
244
00:14:26,204 --> 00:14:27,839
All Right, Then.
245
00:14:27,839 --> 00:14:31,532
I'll Just Let You
Handle The Good Part.
246
00:14:31,532 --> 00:14:34,540
I Won't Come Down
Hard On The Boy.
247
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,281
You Won't?
248
00:14:37,281 --> 00:14:39,851
Young Men In Love
Do Crazy Things.
249
00:14:39,851 --> 00:14:41,085
When Your Father...
250
00:14:41,085 --> 00:14:42,353
Uh, Dad...
251
00:14:43,532 --> 00:14:45,022
No, No, No.
252
00:14:45,022 --> 00:14:46,307
It's Good For Him.
253
00:14:46,307 --> 00:14:49,643
It Will Make Him
Feel Better.
254
00:14:49,643 --> 00:14:52,913
I'm Not Interested
In Him Feeling Better, Okay?
255
00:14:52,913 --> 00:14:55,980
Sit Down.
256
00:15:01,455 --> 00:15:02,980
When Your Father...
257
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:03,980
Dad...
258
00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:05,459
...Was 15
259
00:15:05,459 --> 00:15:07,980
He And His Friend,
Lex Thompson--
260
00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:10,985
A Boy Who Was Left Back Twice...
261
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:15,987
Decided They Would
Straighten Their Own Hair
262
00:15:15,987 --> 00:15:17,805
In Lex's Cellar.
263
00:15:17,805 --> 00:15:19,473
What?
264
00:15:20,474 --> 00:15:22,983
That's Very Interesting.
265
00:15:22,983 --> 00:15:24,645
It All Started
266
00:15:24,645 --> 00:15:28,980
When He Took A Pretty Young Lady
To The Old Earl Theater
267
00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:32,980
And Saw A Group Called
"The Icicles" With Breezy Brown.
268
00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:35,789
Breezy Brown
Had Straightened His Hair.
269
00:15:35,789 --> 00:15:39,460
Most Singers Straightened
Their Hair Back Then.
270
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,862
Your Father's Date Went Wild.
271
00:15:41,862 --> 00:15:43,530
Right Then,
He Decided
272
00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:44,980
He Would Lose Her
273
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:47,935
If He Didn't
Straighten His Hair.
274
00:15:50,304 --> 00:15:52,806
You Did That For A Girl?
275
00:15:52,806 --> 00:15:55,843
One Particular Girl.
276
00:15:55,843 --> 00:15:59,313
In Those Days, People Used
To Straighten Their Hair With
277
00:15:59,313 --> 00:16:01,980
A Solution Called Conkalene.
278
00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:03,751
It Cost Money
279
00:16:03,751 --> 00:16:06,787
And Your Father Was Flat Broke
280
00:16:06,787 --> 00:16:11,458
So He And Lex
Mixed Up Their Own Solution--
281
00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:16,463
Potato Peels, Corn Syrup,
And A Touch Of Nitroglycerin.
282
00:16:18,799 --> 00:16:23,980
This Man,
A Future Doctor
283
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:26,989
Had It Poured Slowly
284
00:16:26,989 --> 00:16:29,510
Over His Head.
285
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:30,711
What Happened?
286
00:16:30,711 --> 00:16:33,447
It Burned All My Hair.
It Wasn't That Bad.
287
00:16:33,447 --> 00:16:36,784
He Shot Out Of There
Like A Bolt
288
00:16:36,784 --> 00:16:38,619
Pushed Lex's Dog Aside
289
00:16:38,619 --> 00:16:41,922
And Stuck His Head
In The Dog's Water Dish.
290
00:16:41,922 --> 00:16:43,989
You Must Have Liked ThatGirl.
291
00:16:44,989 --> 00:16:46,983
Whatever Happened To Her?
292
00:16:46,983 --> 00:16:49,530
She's In The Kitchen Now.
293
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:53,801
You Burned All The Hair
Off Your Head For Mom?
294
00:16:54,982 --> 00:16:56,980
Oh, My God!
295
00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:01,980
Let Him Be.
296
00:17:02,984 --> 00:17:04,812
Guess What?
297
00:17:04,812 --> 00:17:06,814
One Of These Days
298
00:17:06,814 --> 00:17:09,980
You're Going To
Need Some Money.
299
00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:14,982
In That Case,
Would You Tell Her?
300
00:17:14,982 --> 00:17:16,980
It Would Be
My Pleasure.
301
00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:17,985
Clair?
302
00:17:19,980 --> 00:17:25,299
What Is The Craziest Thing
That A Certain Young Man--
303
00:17:25,299 --> 00:17:30,304
I'm Not Naming Any Names--
Did To Impress You?
304
00:17:30,304 --> 00:17:33,988
You Mean When Cliff Tried
To Straighten His Hair?
305
00:17:35,983 --> 00:17:37,982
Daddy Did That
For You?
306
00:17:37,982 --> 00:17:41,381
He Tried,
But It All Fell Out.
307
00:17:41,381 --> 00:17:44,618
Thank You Very Much.
308
00:17:45,619 --> 00:17:48,388
You Remember That
Kind Of Fondly?
309
00:17:48,388 --> 00:17:49,823
I'll Never Forget It.
310
00:17:49,823 --> 00:17:53,460
Theo, For The
Love Of A Young Lady
311
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:55,980
Has Done Something
Foolish Himself.
312
00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:57,988
Promise You
Won't Get Mad.
313
00:17:57,988 --> 00:17:59,986
Okay, I Promise.
314
00:17:59,986 --> 00:18:01,835
He Pierced His Ear.
315
00:18:01,835 --> 00:18:02,985
I'll Kill Him.
316
00:18:02,985 --> 00:18:03,989
Wait A Minute!
317
00:18:03,989 --> 00:18:05,982
He Made
A Mistake.
318
00:18:05,982 --> 00:18:08,980
He's A Lot
Like His Father.
319
00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:12,980
Many's The Time
I've Pulled Him Out Of Trouble.
320
00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:16,980
But I Was Patient And
Understanding And Tolerant...
321
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:20,287
How Could You Tell
A Story Like That?
322
00:18:20,287 --> 00:18:23,624
When Heathcliff Came Home
With A Sizzling Scalp
323
00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:26,293
You Were Not
Very Understanding
324
00:18:26,293 --> 00:18:30,631
Especially Considering The
Matter Of A Certain Tattoo.
325
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:31,532
Tattoo?
326
00:18:31,532 --> 00:18:32,633
Let's Eat.
327
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:33,800
What Tattoo?
328
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,980
Dinner Won't Be Ready
For A While.
329
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:38,984
I'll Have
Some Cheese.
330
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,980
I Really
Don't Think
331
00:18:40,980 --> 00:18:43,477
That Is An
Appropriate Issue
332
00:18:43,477 --> 00:18:46,480
To Discuss In Front
Of The Family.
333
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,980
When Your Father
Was Theodore's Age
334
00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:52,286
He Was Enamored Of Me
To Such An Extent
335
00:18:52,286 --> 00:18:56,290
That He Had My Name
Tattooed Across His Chest.
336
00:19:00,394 --> 00:19:01,989
He Did What?
337
00:19:01,989 --> 00:19:04,798
When I Heard
What He'd Done
338
00:19:04,798 --> 00:19:06,980
I Was Enormously
Flattered
339
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:10,437
Until I Saw
My Name Was Misspelled.
340
00:19:12,806 --> 00:19:15,642
As I Understood It,
He Went To
341
00:19:15,642 --> 00:19:18,980
The Best Tattoo Man
In The County--
342
00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:20,681
"Hot Needle" Harris.
343
00:19:21,848 --> 00:19:27,980
It Was The Middle Of February,
And Russell Had A Terrible Cold
344
00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:32,980
So When He Went To "Hot Needle"
And Told Him To Write "Anna"
345
00:19:32,980 --> 00:19:36,980
His Nose Was Clogged Up,
And It Sounded Like "Adda"--
346
00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:38,932
A-D-D-A.
347
00:19:40,982 --> 00:19:44,304
My Chief Rival Then
For Russell's Affection
348
00:19:44,304 --> 00:19:46,988
Was A Girl Named
Adda Mae Ward.
349
00:19:46,988 --> 00:19:48,475
Oh, No!
350
00:19:48,475 --> 00:19:50,544
She Was A
Little Girl
351
00:19:50,544 --> 00:19:52,985
Who Lived Down The Road
352
00:19:52,985 --> 00:19:57,980
And Thought The Sun Didn't Shine
Until She Woke Up.
353
00:20:01,980 --> 00:20:06,627
Of Course, I Insisted
That He Remove The Tattoo
354
00:20:06,627 --> 00:20:08,989
And That Left A Scar
355
00:20:08,989 --> 00:20:10,980
On His
Chest.
356
00:20:15,980 --> 00:20:17,980
You Told Me
357
00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:23,980
That You Got That Scar
In World War Two...
358
00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:33,981
Fighting Off A German
Nazi Panzer Attack.
359
00:20:33,981 --> 00:20:39,068
That Was The Best Way
I Could Think Of
360
00:20:39,068 --> 00:20:44,451
To Describe What I Went Through
When Anna Saw That Tattoo.
361
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:47,454
I'm Shocked.
362
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:49,556
You Huxtable
Men Are Crazy.
363
00:20:49,556 --> 00:20:50,758
Yes.
364
00:20:50,758 --> 00:20:52,740
But We Always Get Our Women.
365
00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:55,776
But Not Because Of
The Things You Do--
366
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:57,307
Despite Them.
367
00:20:57,307 --> 00:21:02,776
Theodore, Welcome
To The Club.
368
00:21:04,414 --> 00:21:06,583
The Three Huxtable Men--
369
00:21:06,583 --> 00:21:11,421
Scar-Chest, Skinhead,
And Hole-In-The-Lobe.
24514
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