Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,952 --> 00:00:06,424
Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention please.
2
00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:09,504
Welcome to the newest,
the greatest...
3
00:00:09,666 --> 00:00:13,652
the most spectacular
show in entertainment history.
4
00:00:14,176 --> 00:00:19,732
Put your hands together for
the fabulous Feebles Variety Hour!
5
00:00:25,141 --> 00:00:28,212
♪ Meet the Feebles,meet the Feebles... ♪
6
00:00:28,642 --> 00:00:31,538
♪ We're not your average ordinary people. ♪
7
00:00:31,576 --> 00:00:35,773
♪ Meet the Feebles,meet the Feebles. ♪
8
00:00:38,763 --> 00:00:41,753
♪ Animal actsand other attractions. ♪
9
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:44,760
♪ Samantha the pussywill show you some action. ♪
10
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,093
♪ A contortionist. ♪
11
00:00:46,139 --> 00:00:48,151
♪ And more than this.A hippopotamus!? ♪
12
00:00:48,271 --> 00:00:50,985
♪ Unconditionally guaranteed to send you. ♪
13
00:00:51,053 --> 00:00:52,849
♪ When you meet the Feebles. ♪
14
00:00:53,078 --> 00:00:55,020
♪ Meet the Feebles. ♪
15
00:00:55,081 --> 00:00:57,940
♪ We're not your average ordinary people. ♪
16
00:00:58,001 --> 00:01:04,938
♪ Meet the Feebles,meet the Feebles. ♪
17
00:01:05,121 --> 00:01:06,521
And now...
18
00:01:06,641 --> 00:01:11,131
here's...
19
00:01:11,186 --> 00:01:12,820
Harry!
20
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:16,720
Yipeee! Ha ha!
Hi, folks!
21
00:01:16,781 --> 00:01:19,231
Welcome to the Feebles
Variety Hour.
22
00:01:19,351 --> 00:01:22,675
Oh boy, what a line-up
we've got for you tonight.
23
00:01:22,729 --> 00:01:27,881
But first, give a huge reception
to our very own Venus...
24
00:01:27,942 --> 00:01:32,690
the gorgeous hunk
of hippo-hood, Heidi!
25
00:01:40,028 --> 00:01:41,393
♪ I'm Heidi, hi! ♪
26
00:01:41,513 --> 00:01:42,935
♪ I love that you are... ♪
27
00:01:42,984 --> 00:01:46,425
♪ Not as pretty as me,but then I'm the star. ♪
28
00:01:46,479 --> 00:01:49,771
♪ I put on my rouge,my talents are huge. ♪
29
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,483
♪ We've got a show that's just sublime... ♪
30
00:01:51,521 --> 00:01:54,388
♪ ...and now it's time.Time to meet the Feebles. ♪
31
00:01:54,508 --> 00:01:56,106
♪ Meet the Feebles. ♪
32
00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:59,399
♪ We're not your average ordinary people. ♪
33
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:03,624
♪ Meet the Feebles,meet the Feebles! ♪
34
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:09,588
All right you fat slag,
move your ass!
35
00:02:11,148 --> 00:02:17,396
How dare you speak to me like that,
you horrible, spiteful little rat!
36
00:02:17,516 --> 00:02:20,764
I've heard better singing from
a mongoose with throat cancer.
37
00:02:20,802 --> 00:02:23,379
I won't stand for this treatment
any longer.
38
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,676
I'm an artiste.
I demand respect!
39
00:02:26,796 --> 00:02:29,171
Artiste, that's a good one.
40
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,152
That's it!
I've had enough!
41
00:02:31,272 --> 00:02:34,590
- I'm going straight to Bletch.
- You do that darling!
42
00:02:34,628 --> 00:02:36,697
What is going on over there?
43
00:02:36,950 --> 00:02:38,618
Heidi, where are you going?
44
00:02:38,874 --> 00:02:40,556
Trevor, you haven't upset
her again have you?
45
00:02:40,607 --> 00:02:42,464
You know what happens
when she gets into a tizz.
46
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:45,188
Oh, the old cow's had it too good
for too long.
47
00:02:45,226 --> 00:02:48,040
Like it or not, Trevor,
she's the star of the show.
48
00:02:48,078 --> 00:02:50,764
There's no Feebles without Heidi.
49
00:02:51,016 --> 00:02:52,530
Come on everybody.
50
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,694
We're going out live
in twelve hours.
51
00:02:55,814 --> 00:02:59,395
Heaven forbid injecting
some urgency into this occasion...
52
00:02:59,433 --> 00:03:02,119
but for God's sake
get a move on!
53
00:03:02,743 --> 00:03:05,165
Have a good rehearsal, Miss Heidi?
54
00:03:10,921 --> 00:03:12,437
Bleeetch!
55
00:03:12,557 --> 00:03:15,302
Open the door this instant!
56
00:03:23,989 --> 00:03:25,846
Bletch!
57
00:03:26,741 --> 00:03:28,046
Oh, shit!
58
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,773
I was just about
to pop my cookies!
59
00:03:34,596 --> 00:03:38,962
Sorry, Heidi, I was just
finishing off some paperwork.
60
00:03:39,082 --> 00:03:41,491
Trevor's been insulting me.
61
00:03:41,611 --> 00:03:44,148
Why, that foul-mouthed little rodent.
62
00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:46,862
I'll give him a good talking to.
63
00:03:46,982 --> 00:03:49,148
If it happens again,
I shan't perform.
64
00:03:49,186 --> 00:03:52,300
There there Heidi,
don't upset yourself.
65
00:03:54,488 --> 00:03:56,377
Do I smell perfume?
66
00:03:57,107 --> 00:03:59,354
You're imagining things,
my sweet.
67
00:03:59,897 --> 00:04:03,783
Now you go and rest up.
Big night tonight.
68
00:04:04,584 --> 00:04:06,453
Come to my room later on?
69
00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,213
I'll try.
70
00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:15,513
Oh God!
Women!
71
00:04:16,492 --> 00:04:18,465
When are you going to dump
that huckery moll?
72
00:04:18,484 --> 00:04:21,858
Huckery moll she may be,
but she's also our major drawcard.
73
00:04:21,896 --> 00:04:24,430
Show some guts, Bletch!
Get rid of her!
74
00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:27,839
- God, wouldn't I like to!
- I'm not waiting round for ever.
75
00:04:27,959 --> 00:04:31,257
Don't worry, honey.
I'm working on it.
76
00:04:44,247 --> 00:04:47,616
Excuse me, please.
I wonder if you can help me.
77
00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:51,529
I have a letter here that requests me
to report to the stage manager.
78
00:04:51,780 --> 00:04:53,729
I'm busy!
Ask somebody else.
79
00:04:53,849 --> 00:04:57,719
Oh, well, now... you see... oh dear.
80
00:05:04,055 --> 00:05:06,973
Excuse me, sir.
I wonder if you can help.
81
00:05:07,297 --> 00:05:10,354
I have a letter here asking me
to report to the stage manager.
82
00:05:10,392 --> 00:05:12,421
Oh I don't know man.
83
00:05:12,470 --> 00:05:14,200
It's been a hell of a day.
84
00:05:14,238 --> 00:05:17,080
I can feel a migraine coming on.
85
00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:20,100
I need a paracetamol.
86
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,356
Up here!
87
00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:39,603
New boy are you?
Looking for Arthur?
88
00:05:39,632 --> 00:05:40,991
Is he the stage manager?
89
00:05:41,111 --> 00:05:42,867
That's what he calls himself.
90
00:05:42,905 --> 00:05:45,705
You'll never find him.
I'll take you there.
91
00:05:45,825 --> 00:05:48,543
Oh, thank you very much.
92
00:05:48,663 --> 00:05:52,918
I had an audition six months ago and I've
only just received written confirmation...
93
00:05:52,946 --> 00:05:54,908
of my acceptance
into the Feeble Chorus.
94
00:05:54,943 --> 00:05:57,404
Oh yeah? I tell you what, kiddo.
95
00:05:57,423 --> 00:05:59,023
It's not that crash hot.
96
00:05:59,143 --> 00:06:01,731
They run you ragged
and the pay's lousy.
97
00:06:01,851 --> 00:06:04,179
Uh, I'm not worried about the pay.
98
00:06:04,299 --> 00:06:07,391
It's an honour just to get a chance...
to perform in the show.
99
00:06:07,511 --> 00:06:11,083
I've been an admirer
of the Feebles for such a long time.
100
00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:12,284
Yeah?
101
00:06:12,404 --> 00:06:15,198
Well, you'll find it pretty tough
on the wages they dish out.
102
00:06:15,318 --> 00:06:17,893
But if you ever want to earn
a little extra on the side...
103
00:06:17,931 --> 00:06:21,341
I'm always interested
in little stories...
104
00:06:21,461 --> 00:06:26,400
anything spicy
or even smutty.
105
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,463
Hey Arthur!
There's a new boy to see you.
106
00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:32,109
There's more filth in this place
than in the city sewers.
107
00:06:32,227 --> 00:06:34,684
And I pay good money
for the right info.
108
00:06:34,804 --> 00:06:39,107
Here you go, kid.
Don't hesitate to get in touch.
109
00:06:39,227 --> 00:06:42,417
You must be Robert.
I've been expecting you.
110
00:06:42,455 --> 00:06:44,465
Pleased to meet you sir.
111
00:06:45,941 --> 00:06:47,851
Just call me Arthur.
112
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:50,261
Here, you don't want that, son.
113
00:06:52,304 --> 00:06:55,310
He's a no-good muckraker
from the gutter press.
114
00:06:55,430 --> 00:06:57,691
Got nothing better to do
than make up lies...
115
00:06:57,729 --> 00:07:00,257
and nasty stories about the cast.
116
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,278
Ooh!
117
00:07:04,812 --> 00:07:07,678
That's Miss Heidi.
You'll have heard of her.
118
00:07:07,798 --> 00:07:11,698
I certainly have.
She's my favourite star.
119
00:07:15,578 --> 00:07:17,220
Excuse me, girls.
120
00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:19,283
Can I have your attention
for a minute?
121
00:07:19,321 --> 00:07:22,664
I'd like to introduce you all
to a new member of the chorus.
122
00:07:22,784 --> 00:07:26,906
I'm sure you'll all do your best to make
him feel part of the Feeble family.
123
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:31,023
Come on, say hello, Robert.
Don't be bashful.
124
00:07:31,143 --> 00:07:32,979
Oh, isn't he handsome?
125
00:07:33,099 --> 00:07:36,156
What a lovely set of quills!
126
00:07:40,651 --> 00:07:41,946
That's Lucille.
127
00:07:42,066 --> 00:07:44,346
She's just joined the chorus
as well.
128
00:07:44,466 --> 00:07:46,479
You two should get together
sometime.
129
00:07:46,974 --> 00:07:50,945
Is it true that long quills
are a sign of virility?
130
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,110
Now look what you've done!
131
00:07:54,135 --> 00:07:56,794
You've gone and got him
all embarrassed.
132
00:07:57,348 --> 00:08:01,631
Come on, Robert old son.
Uncurl, there's a good boy.
133
00:08:01,751 --> 00:08:04,221
I think he fancies you, Lucy.
134
00:08:04,341 --> 00:08:07,000
Yes, it's true love all right.
135
00:08:07,118 --> 00:08:08,907
See the way he looked at you.
136
00:08:09,027 --> 00:08:12,866
Stop it!
He's just an old hedgehog!
137
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:19,062
Lift those knees!
Hold your head up!
138
00:08:19,675 --> 00:08:24,113
And don't forget to breathe!
Keep breathing!
139
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,953
♪ Funny little sandhopperbasking in the sun... ♪
140
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:33,378
♪ a-dancing and a-hoppinghaving lots of fun. ♪
141
00:08:33,417 --> 00:08:35,807
♪ A bit of sand landedin that hopper's eye. ♪
142
00:08:35,845 --> 00:08:37,938
♪ And the little sandhopper said,"My oh my"... ♪
143
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,984
♪ I got one leg missing... ♪
144
00:08:40,290 --> 00:08:42,343
♪ I got one leg missing... ♪
145
00:08:42,804 --> 00:08:45,460
♪ I got one leg missing... ♪
146
00:08:45,747 --> 00:08:47,257
♪ How do I get around? ♪
147
00:08:47,625 --> 00:08:49,900
♪ The shiny shiny fishyin the ocean blue. ♪
148
00:08:50,025 --> 00:08:52,492
♪ That swam into a sewage pipe,pooh, pooh, pooh. ♪
149
00:08:52,624 --> 00:08:54,603
♪ Said "I'm in the shit,I better take a dive". ♪
150
00:08:54,723 --> 00:08:57,075
♪ Stuck his head out of the waterand began to jive. ♪
151
00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:59,018
♪ I got one leg missing... ♪
152
00:08:59,637 --> 00:09:01,399
♪ One leg missing... ♪
153
00:09:02,037 --> 00:09:04,820
♪ I got one leg missing... ♪
154
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:06,445
♪ How do I get around? ♪
155
00:09:06,565 --> 00:09:08,108
♪ Alright! ♪
156
00:09:15,223 --> 00:09:17,813
What are you doing here,
pincushion?
157
00:09:18,527 --> 00:09:21,209
I was just watching the chorus.
158
00:09:21,329 --> 00:09:24,646
- Hey, you're that new boy here, aren't you?
- Yes, I am.
159
00:09:24,766 --> 00:09:28,005
I just started today.
I'm Robert.
160
00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:31,847
You may be Robert to your friends,
but you're fly shit to me.
161
00:09:33,011 --> 00:09:34,239
Piss off!
162
00:09:34,933 --> 00:09:35,743
Yes, sir.
163
00:09:35,863 --> 00:09:37,770
♪ Little Miss Amoeba,pretty as could be ♪
164
00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:39,777
Goddamn prickleback!
165
00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:42,567
♪ She said 'I better split',and merge and she was two ♪
166
00:09:42,606 --> 00:09:44,533
♪ They both began a chorusthat went 'woo, woo, woo'. ♪
167
00:09:44,653 --> 00:09:46,548
♪ I got one leg missing... ♪
168
00:09:47,257 --> 00:09:49,072
♪ One leg missing... ♪
169
00:09:49,609 --> 00:09:52,001
♪ I got one leg missing. ♪
170
00:09:52,121 --> 00:09:53,397
♪ How do I get around? ♪
171
00:09:53,435 --> 00:09:55,988
That Lucille's got
a cute tushie.
172
00:09:56,108 --> 00:10:00,102
I wouldn't mind giving her
a poke with the old pork sword.
173
00:10:00,274 --> 00:10:01,867
♪ I got one leg missing. ♪
174
00:10:01,987 --> 00:10:03,286
♪ How do I get around? ♪
175
00:10:03,406 --> 00:10:04,915
♪ Alright! ♪
176
00:10:13,191 --> 00:10:16,868
Trevor, please,
I need it, man.
177
00:10:17,191 --> 00:10:18,486
I need it.
178
00:10:18,606 --> 00:10:20,686
I told you before,
it's coming.
179
00:10:20,806 --> 00:10:24,235
Yeah, but...
I got the shakes something bad.
180
00:10:24,336 --> 00:10:28,062
If I don't get a fix,
I won't be able to perform.
181
00:10:28,182 --> 00:10:29,967
Listen, it'll be here, alright?
182
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,748
Stop bothering me.
183
00:10:31,868 --> 00:10:33,239
I can pay for it.
184
00:10:33,359 --> 00:10:36,376
Thanks froggy.
This'll just about cover what you owe me.
185
00:10:36,496 --> 00:10:38,659
But that's all I've got!
186
00:10:38,859 --> 00:10:42,680
Well, you'd better find
another fifty bucks before six.
187
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,140
But that's all I've got!
188
00:10:46,441 --> 00:10:49,112
♪ I got one leg missing. ♪
189
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,298
♪ How do I get around? ♪
190
00:10:51,336 --> 00:10:53,167
♪ One leg missing. ♪
191
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,367
♪ One leg missing. ♪
192
00:10:55,870 --> 00:10:58,699
♪ I got one leg missing. ♪
193
00:10:58,969 --> 00:11:00,664
♪ How do I get around? ♪
194
00:11:01,784 --> 00:11:03,401
Thank you everybody.
195
00:11:03,439 --> 00:11:06,204
You've all mutilated
that number rather nicely.
196
00:11:06,324 --> 00:11:08,191
We'll have another shot at it
at two thirty...
197
00:11:08,229 --> 00:11:11,028
and perhaps put it out
of its misery.
198
00:11:14,438 --> 00:11:16,590
Excuse me, Mr. Bletch.
199
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:17,733
Sir...
200
00:11:17,853 --> 00:11:19,705
If I could have a minute
of your time.
201
00:11:19,825 --> 00:11:21,949
I've been waiting to see you
all day.
202
00:11:22,158 --> 00:11:25,501
I've got a smashing little routine
I think will go down a treat.
203
00:11:25,621 --> 00:11:28,131
So, you want to join the Feebles?
204
00:11:28,256 --> 00:11:29,673
Oh, rather!
205
00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:34,303
Ok son, I'll give you one minute.
Impress me.
206
00:11:35,389 --> 00:11:38,079
It's one of my own compositions.
207
00:11:38,199 --> 00:11:42,653
It's called:
"Glad to be a Guppy".
208
00:11:43,625 --> 00:11:47,790
♪ I'm a fishy little fellowwith a scaly sort of skin... ♪
209
00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:51,272
♪ and I frolic in the shallowswhere the tide is coming in. ♪
210
00:11:51,728 --> 00:11:53,975
Is something the matter,
Mr. Bletch?
211
00:11:54,095 --> 00:11:57,324
I think I've got a cavity
in a rear molar.
212
00:11:57,447 --> 00:11:59,318
Would you mind
having a look for me?
213
00:11:59,528 --> 00:12:00,993
Oh, certainly.
214
00:12:01,260 --> 00:12:05,172
It's right at the back.
215
00:12:05,372 --> 00:12:08,839
Oh, it's awful dark in here!
216
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:17,109
Went down a treat, alright.
Heh, heh!
217
00:12:17,605 --> 00:12:19,318
Hello, Lucille.
218
00:12:20,128 --> 00:12:21,824
You may not remember me...
219
00:12:21,862 --> 00:12:24,854
but my name is Robert
and I would just like to say that...
220
00:12:24,873 --> 00:12:28,092
I think you are the most pretty girl
that I have ever met.
221
00:12:28,212 --> 00:12:32,283
And I was wondering if you would like
to go to the movies with me tomorrow night.
222
00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:34,039
These flowers are for you!
223
00:12:36,764 --> 00:12:39,188
Maybe I should give her
the flowers first.
224
00:12:39,308 --> 00:12:43,449
Gorblimey!
The poor little blighter's smitten!
225
00:12:45,482 --> 00:12:49,305
Hello, these flowers are for you.
They are white roses.
226
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:51,158
I hope you like them.
227
00:12:51,472 --> 00:12:53,687
You may not remember me,
but my name is Robert...
228
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,077
and I was wondering if you would
like to go to the movies.
229
00:12:56,197 --> 00:13:01,242
... and then I tried on the lace camisole
and it fitted perfectly.
230
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:04,404
Hello, my name is movies and...
231
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:06,954
I'd like to Robert you...
232
00:13:08,758 --> 00:13:13,303
Here Rob old son.
Come on in for a cup of tea.
233
00:13:20,213 --> 00:13:22,334
When are we due on the course?
234
00:13:22,460 --> 00:13:26,835
One o'clock sharp.
It's all arranged.
235
00:13:29,014 --> 00:13:30,888
How's your handicap, Barry?
236
00:13:31,008 --> 00:13:34,904
She's at home baking a cake, boss.
237
00:14:01,516 --> 00:14:02,755
Heavens, Heidi!
238
00:14:03,031 --> 00:14:05,059
You haven't been exercising,
have you?
239
00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:08,881
All that excess flab must put
a terrible strain on your heart.
240
00:14:09,269 --> 00:14:13,332
If you're referring to my muscle tone,
it's never been better.
241
00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:16,084
You must have awful trouble
buying clothes.
242
00:14:16,284 --> 00:14:20,215
Still, at your age I suppose
you might as well let your figure go.
243
00:14:20,335 --> 00:14:24,710
How dare you insult me, you,
you cheap pussy?
244
00:14:25,329 --> 00:14:27,301
You shuddering great herbivore!
245
00:14:27,421 --> 00:14:29,510
No wonder Bletch can't stand
the sight of you!
246
00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:31,709
You're lying!
He loves me!
247
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:33,783
- He detests you!
- That's not true!
248
00:14:33,802 --> 00:14:37,006
You bore him to tears and
you're awful in bed.
249
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:40,130
It's me he wants.
He can't get enough of me.
250
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,235
Liar!
251
00:14:41,273 --> 00:14:42,397
If you weren't so stupid...
252
00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:45,158
you'd know we've been
having an affair for months.
253
00:14:45,278 --> 00:14:50,465
Oh, you liar! You liar!
You beastly, beastly liar!
254
00:14:52,113 --> 00:14:54,319
Hey, good one!
You showed her!
255
00:14:58,427 --> 00:15:01,246
Right, Robbie.
Now you got everything what I told you.
256
00:15:01,446 --> 00:15:04,990
She's in there now,
so you give it your best shot.
257
00:15:05,727 --> 00:15:08,451
Are you sure that this is a good
idea?
258
00:15:08,571 --> 00:15:09,670
She'll love it.
259
00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:11,342
Go on, do your stuff.
260
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:27,539
♪ You are my amour, what I adore.Oh Lucille! ♪
261
00:15:28,569 --> 00:15:36,836
♪ This, this is the way that I must sayhow my heart feels! ♪
262
00:15:36,956 --> 00:15:41,350
♪ Oh, Lucille!Oh, Lucille! ♪
263
00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:45,746
♪ Oh, Lucille!Oohh, Luc... ciii! ♪
264
00:15:48,727 --> 00:15:52,356
Keep going, keep going!
It's magic!
265
00:15:56,191 --> 00:16:00,027
♪ Under the lightof the Spanish moon... ♪
266
00:16:00,147 --> 00:16:05,541
♪ it is for love that I croon this tune,Lucille... ♪
267
00:16:05,661 --> 00:16:07,247
♪ Lucille... ♪
268
00:16:07,449 --> 00:16:11,990
♪ Lucille!!! ♪
269
00:16:14,809 --> 00:16:16,508
I'm terribly sorry.
270
00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:18,978
You must think I'm an idiot.
271
00:16:19,531 --> 00:16:21,137
I should never have done this.
272
00:16:21,883 --> 00:16:24,950
I promise you,
I shan't ever bother you again.
273
00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:27,274
Robert... wait!
274
00:16:28,045 --> 00:16:31,096
How did you know
I love flamenco?
275
00:16:32,713 --> 00:16:38,379
That were beautiful,
just beautiful.
276
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,226
Oh, God!
277
00:16:50,346 --> 00:16:52,600
How did you get in?
278
00:16:53,105 --> 00:16:57,154
Oh, no!
Not the cold cream!
279
00:16:57,274 --> 00:17:03,003
I told you guys before,
stay out of my room!
280
00:17:07,632 --> 00:17:09,984
And stay out!
281
00:17:12,651 --> 00:17:14,131
Wheeeee!
282
00:17:19,858 --> 00:17:21,272
Flipping heck!
283
00:17:30,579 --> 00:17:33,303
Oh! What am I going to do now?
284
00:17:33,423 --> 00:17:36,365
It took me six months
to train that lot.
285
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:47,001
Not a bad little meat pattie.
286
00:17:53,877 --> 00:17:56,250
Good shot, boss!
287
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,469
Your shot, Cedric!
288
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:19,691
I thought I told you
to wipe my clubs.
289
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:29,161
Take that you bastard!
290
00:18:37,389 --> 00:18:38,389
Shit!
291
00:18:40,096 --> 00:18:42,394
I'm on form today!
292
00:18:44,125 --> 00:18:45,630
It's a lovely course.
293
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,247
I'm tempted to join
the club myself.
294
00:18:48,367 --> 00:18:51,199
No chance of that,
I'm afraid, Cedric.
295
00:18:51,238 --> 00:18:53,622
You mean they discriminate
against Scots?
296
00:18:53,742 --> 00:18:57,219
No, we just don't like arseholes
in the clubhouse.
297
00:18:57,599 --> 00:19:02,381
Gee, Sid, it's really decent of you
to have me in for a lager...
298
00:19:02,501 --> 00:19:05,657
...after today's little mishap.
299
00:19:06,543 --> 00:19:08,615
No hard feelings Arthur.
300
00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:10,678
It's just my bad luck.
301
00:19:10,982 --> 00:19:13,670
This sort of thing is
always happening to me.
302
00:19:14,267 --> 00:19:17,609
Did I tell you Sandy's slapping
a paternity suit on me?
303
00:19:17,729 --> 00:19:18,695
Is that right?
304
00:19:18,815 --> 00:19:22,662
Yeah, she reckons that kid
she dropped is mine.
305
00:19:22,779 --> 00:19:24,797
I'd like to see her prove it, though.
306
00:19:24,917 --> 00:19:26,806
She's slept with half the chorus.
307
00:19:26,926 --> 00:19:28,131
Has she?
308
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,483
She hasn't slept with me.
309
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,540
Oh, no.
I wasn't suggesting anything.
310
00:19:33,749 --> 00:19:38,255
Like you're a mate, Arthur.
I know I can trust you.
311
00:19:38,704 --> 00:19:43,433
Oh, Christ,
here she comes now.
312
00:19:47,967 --> 00:19:51,589
Sidney, the date's been
set down as the 16th.
313
00:19:51,709 --> 00:19:55,719
And if you don't appear in court,
it'll be held over until the 21st...
314
00:19:55,839 --> 00:19:59,186
at which time you'll be compelled
to provide a blood sample.
315
00:19:59,306 --> 00:20:04,744
Oh God Sandy, why did you bring it here?
It's not mine!
316
00:20:04,864 --> 00:20:06,188
You know it's not!
317
00:20:06,224 --> 00:20:09,119
We'll let the court decide that,
shall we?
318
00:20:18,071 --> 00:20:20,645
It's got your eyes, Sid.
319
00:20:47,842 --> 00:20:52,492
♪ You want a slice of the actionbut you're not acting very nice. ♪
320
00:20:53,472 --> 00:20:57,912
♪ You want a slice of the actionbut you don't want to pay the price. ♪
321
00:20:58,863 --> 00:21:04,056
♪ You're going to end up in tractionif you don't take my advice. ♪
322
00:21:04,541 --> 00:21:06,334
♪ You want a piece of the pie... ♪
323
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:09,189
♪ but you don't wantto share with me. ♪
324
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:11,865
♪ You want a piece of that pie... ♪
325
00:21:11,967 --> 00:21:14,404
♪ but you'll never getnothing for free. ♪
326
00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:17,468
♪ You better watch what you say... ♪
327
00:21:17,506 --> 00:21:20,249
♪ 'cause that ain't my recipe. ♪
328
00:21:21,125 --> 00:21:23,947
♪ I'm hip to your lip... ♪
329
00:21:23,985 --> 00:21:25,584
♪ you'll see... ♪
330
00:21:26,756 --> 00:21:30,678
♪ You're just a low-down snakewith a two-time repartee. ♪
331
00:21:32,194 --> 00:21:36,600
♪ I'm hip to your jive,but it don't sound hip to me. ♪
332
00:21:40,798 --> 00:21:42,975
Say, who is that dame?
333
00:21:43,108 --> 00:21:46,365
That's Heidi.
Ain't she something?
334
00:21:46,485 --> 00:21:50,621
She's only been here a week
and already she's packing the joint.
335
00:21:50,821 --> 00:21:53,811
With a voice like that
she's gonna go places!
336
00:21:54,342 --> 00:21:58,209
♪ You want a hot potato,but baby you're just too cold. ♪
337
00:21:59,847 --> 00:22:03,803
♪ You want a hot potatoto go with your sausage roll. ♪
338
00:22:05,342 --> 00:22:09,365
♪ Don't look at me baby,I'm much too hot to hold. ♪
339
00:22:10,864 --> 00:22:13,702
♪ I'm hip to your lip... ♪
340
00:22:13,730 --> 00:22:15,835
♪ you'll see! ♪
341
00:22:16,531 --> 00:22:17,967
Yeah!
342
00:22:20,112 --> 00:22:21,769
Thank you!
343
00:22:23,331 --> 00:22:26,483
From the gentleman
with the red carnation.
344
00:22:28,925 --> 00:22:30,934
So, you're from the East?
345
00:22:31,134 --> 00:22:33,725
I hear they got some
great swamps out that way.
346
00:22:33,904 --> 00:22:36,748
What's a cute young thing like you
doing in the big smoke?
347
00:22:37,077 --> 00:22:40,682
I'm not so young.
In two years I'll be eighteen.
348
00:22:40,802 --> 00:22:43,725
Really?
But you're so well developed...
349
00:22:44,319 --> 00:22:45,638
Vocally, I mean.
350
00:22:46,022 --> 00:22:48,964
My singing teachers said
I have enormous lung power.
351
00:22:49,084 --> 00:22:51,834
I like your style, Heidi.
352
00:22:52,334 --> 00:22:54,793
- Really?
- You got a lot of class.
353
00:22:54,913 --> 00:22:56,474
But that sometimes ain't enough.
354
00:22:56,603 --> 00:22:59,162
I seen a lot of girls like you
ruined in this town.
355
00:22:59,282 --> 00:23:00,837
You need to make
the right connections,
356
00:23:00,957 --> 00:23:03,264
and that's where I can help.
357
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,830
Are you a producer?
358
00:23:06,950 --> 00:23:09,519
I aim to be.
I aim to be the best goddam...
359
00:23:09,563 --> 00:23:11,253
...producer this town has ever seen.
360
00:23:11,373 --> 00:23:13,572
I got the contacts,
I got the capital...
361
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,986
What I need is what you got:
362
00:23:16,358 --> 00:23:17,373
Talent!
363
00:23:18,342 --> 00:23:22,046
Heidi, I want to manage you.
364
00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:23,697
But...
365
00:23:24,678 --> 00:23:26,586
I don't even know who you are!
366
00:23:26,706 --> 00:23:28,061
They call me...
367
00:23:28,633 --> 00:23:30,256
Bletch!
368
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:32,467
Bletch!
369
00:23:33,263 --> 00:23:35,592
What a lovely name!
370
00:23:36,882 --> 00:23:38,108
Tell me Heidi...
371
00:23:38,901 --> 00:23:43,015
do those lips kiss as good
as they sing?
372
00:23:47,237 --> 00:23:49,123
Bletch!
373
00:24:04,706 --> 00:24:07,138
Very nice, Mr. Bletch.
374
00:24:07,162 --> 00:24:10,951
Perhaps you'd like to inspect
my range of clubs.
375
00:24:19,966 --> 00:24:22,439
It's good gear,
I can assure you.
376
00:24:22,487 --> 00:24:24,230
Of that I have no doubt.
377
00:24:24,259 --> 00:24:26,643
It's good stuff boss.
378
00:24:26,763 --> 00:24:28,623
When can we expect delivery?
379
00:24:28,787 --> 00:24:32,127
Meet Louie in the alleyway
at six.
380
00:24:41,460 --> 00:24:44,641
Sorry.
A touch of the ptomaine.
381
00:24:51,108 --> 00:24:55,350
It must be all this fresh air.
It gives me hay fever.
382
00:24:58,947 --> 00:25:01,566
Bad luck old chap!
383
00:25:10,725 --> 00:25:12,011
What the?
384
00:25:12,131 --> 00:25:13,717
My apologies Cedric!
385
00:25:13,968 --> 00:25:16,739
I had a bone stuck in my throat.
386
00:25:17,168 --> 00:25:19,168
My game, I think.
387
00:25:19,288 --> 00:25:20,770
Oh shit!
388
00:25:21,044 --> 00:25:29,090
Did I pass the audition,
Mr. Bletch?
389
00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:34,089
Oh, harder Harry, oh!
390
00:25:34,441 --> 00:25:37,411
Oh, yes, yes, oh!
391
00:25:37,664 --> 00:25:39,458
Oh, Harry!
392
00:25:41,095 --> 00:25:44,552
All those carrots,
they make me good in the dark.
393
00:25:44,762 --> 00:25:46,440
But it feels so good!
394
00:25:46,475 --> 00:25:49,617
They don't call it "bunnylingus"
for nothing, sweetheart.
395
00:25:49,646 --> 00:25:52,807
What about me, Harry?
You going to service me too?
396
00:25:52,841 --> 00:25:56,224
Sure, climb on up,
I'll give you a valve grind.
397
00:25:56,604 --> 00:25:58,893
Hey!
Hold on a moment!
398
00:25:58,931 --> 00:26:01,315
What's going on?
I can't see.
399
00:26:02,836 --> 00:26:03,960
Goddamn pervert!
400
00:26:03,998 --> 00:26:05,220
Who was it, Harry?
401
00:26:05,248 --> 00:26:08,344
Just a little creep
with a bad case of jizm pressure.
402
00:26:08,382 --> 00:26:11,010
How's your jizm pressure,
Harry?
403
00:26:11,130 --> 00:26:12,962
I can feel it coming on.
404
00:26:12,991 --> 00:26:16,981
Oh, boy,
it's going to be a gusher!
405
00:26:23,974 --> 00:26:25,669
Oh, no!
406
00:26:30,326 --> 00:26:35,227
No, no. No, help somebody!
407
00:26:39,734 --> 00:26:40,953
No, no!
408
00:26:41,073 --> 00:26:42,792
Take that, you bitch!
409
00:26:43,729 --> 00:26:46,193
I beg you, please no, stop it!
410
00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:48,353
Call me "sir", slut!
411
00:26:48,473 --> 00:26:49,525
Ow!
412
00:26:49,645 --> 00:26:52,629
Leave her alone!
You rotter!
413
00:26:53,652 --> 00:26:55,186
Are you all right, madam?
414
00:26:55,306 --> 00:26:56,807
Cut!
415
00:26:57,652 --> 00:26:59,424
Jesus Christ!
416
00:26:59,544 --> 00:27:04,205
You have a nasty habit of sticking
your nose in where it's not wanted.
417
00:27:04,703 --> 00:27:05,770
I'm sorry.
418
00:27:05,789 --> 00:27:09,656
You ruined my take, kid.
I never do two takes!
419
00:27:09,999 --> 00:27:11,706
I didn't know it was a film.
420
00:27:11,826 --> 00:27:14,481
Hurry it up,
I'm freezing!
421
00:27:14,601 --> 00:27:18,565
I'm sorry for interrupting.
I won't disturb you any longer.
422
00:27:19,329 --> 00:27:20,596
We'll skip the whipping.
423
00:27:20,629 --> 00:27:23,015
Let's move on to the blowjob.
424
00:27:23,310 --> 00:27:25,698
Where's the Masked Masochist?
425
00:27:27,017 --> 00:27:29,554
Oh Christ that's all I need!
He's carked!
426
00:27:30,171 --> 00:27:33,010
Didn't you realise
you were sitting on his face?
427
00:27:33,041 --> 00:27:36,744
I felt a bit uncomfortable, but
I thought it was my hemorrhoids.
428
00:27:36,876 --> 00:27:40,455
What the hell, maybe I can sell it
as a snuff movie.
429
00:27:48,779 --> 00:27:50,770
Well you'll have to find a substitute.
430
00:27:50,890 --> 00:27:53,088
I don't do self abuse.
431
00:27:54,256 --> 00:27:59,125
No worries, Daisy.
I know just the guy.
432
00:28:15,381 --> 00:28:19,166
Well, what do you know!
It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge.
433
00:28:19,543 --> 00:28:22,834
Oh gosh! I was just looking
for the soap powder.
434
00:28:22,890 --> 00:28:25,939
Sure, Dennis.
Have a whiff of these.
435
00:28:26,061 --> 00:28:30,052
They've got
a real distinctive bouquet.
436
00:28:32,499 --> 00:28:35,794
Dennis, I've got a little job for you.
437
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:15,588
Noooo!
438
00:29:17,526 --> 00:29:20,690
Oh my God!
Next!
439
00:29:34,102 --> 00:29:36,093
All right everybody,
from the top!
440
00:29:36,213 --> 00:29:37,666
Music, please!
441
00:30:21,082 --> 00:30:22,221
Stop!!!
442
00:30:22,341 --> 00:30:25,196
Oh for Christ sake! What the hell
was wrong with that?
443
00:30:25,316 --> 00:30:28,479
Who is holding
that red pennant?
444
00:30:31,655 --> 00:30:32,675
Me sir.
445
00:30:32,795 --> 00:30:35,446
And what on earth do you think
you're doing?
446
00:30:35,566 --> 00:30:37,633
I'm patrolling the moat, sir.
447
00:30:37,753 --> 00:30:41,031
Patrolling the moat?
I see.
448
00:30:41,317 --> 00:30:44,502
You were instructed to stay
upstage left.
449
00:30:45,117 --> 00:30:48,497
Italian pennant bearers of
the XVII century were frequently...
450
00:30:48,617 --> 00:30:51,887
known to patrol the rampart
on the lookout for Turkish invaders.
451
00:30:51,925 --> 00:30:54,320
How very elucidating.
452
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,149
I've been reading up on it, sir.
453
00:30:56,269 --> 00:30:57,834
My drama teacher at school
said...
454
00:30:57,954 --> 00:31:00,615
I should always research
a role thoroughly.
455
00:31:00,735 --> 00:31:03,113
Really?
Well let me tell you something.
456
00:31:03,233 --> 00:31:05,164
This is a television variety show...
457
00:31:05,183 --> 00:31:06,915
not a homage to Soviet Realism!
458
00:31:07,125 --> 00:31:10,643
Good grief! I asked for a pennant,
not a pedant!
459
00:31:10,964 --> 00:31:12,979
All right, again!
From the top!
460
00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:24,466
Excuse me!
461
00:31:24,586 --> 00:31:25,466
Stop!
462
00:31:25,586 --> 00:31:26,628
Oh shit!
463
00:31:26,666 --> 00:31:27,952
Oh, God!
464
00:31:27,990 --> 00:31:29,150
What is it?
465
00:31:29,647 --> 00:31:30,799
It's just...
466
00:31:30,919 --> 00:31:34,175
Well, I'm having trouble
with my motivation.
467
00:31:34,295 --> 00:31:36,896
I don't understand
why I would remain still...
468
00:31:37,016 --> 00:31:40,410
when the scene itself suggests
vigorous physical action...
469
00:31:40,530 --> 00:31:41,401
...danger even.
470
00:31:41,521 --> 00:31:44,243
I suppose you'd like everyone
to stop singing...
471
00:31:44,363 --> 00:31:47,957
while you come forward to do
a little war dance center stage.
472
00:31:48,002 --> 00:31:48,919
Is that it?
473
00:31:48,947 --> 00:31:50,868
Well, it had crossed my mind!
474
00:31:50,916 --> 00:31:52,059
Oh my God!
475
00:31:52,097 --> 00:31:55,020
Sorry guv, I hate to interrupt,
but it don't look like...
476
00:31:55,049 --> 00:31:58,213
the knife thrower's assistant
is going to pull through.
477
00:31:58,430 --> 00:32:00,620
Shall I cancel Wynyard's act
entirely?
478
00:32:00,667 --> 00:32:02,440
I think not.
479
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,422
I've got just the substitute.
480
00:32:10,649 --> 00:32:13,173
"Dennis Does Daisy!"
Take 1.
481
00:32:13,402 --> 00:32:15,737
Ok Dennis, drop your strides.
482
00:32:16,678 --> 00:32:18,440
Come on, come on,
the camera's rolling.
483
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,925
Oh for Chrissake!
484
00:32:23,213 --> 00:32:25,032
Is that the best you can do?
485
00:32:25,152 --> 00:32:26,927
Trevor, do something about this guy!
486
00:32:27,047 --> 00:32:28,946
Come on, get aroused!
487
00:32:29,194 --> 00:32:30,030
I can't.
488
00:32:30,150 --> 00:32:33,518
Well, I'm not doing anything
until he cracks a fat.
489
00:32:33,638 --> 00:32:36,244
What's the matter?
Doesn't she turn you on?
490
00:32:36,963 --> 00:32:40,065
Here you go.
Will these help?
491
00:32:40,185 --> 00:32:43,204
Oh God, not another panty-sniffer!
492
00:32:43,242 --> 00:32:45,643
He's going to want me
to piss in his mouth next.
493
00:32:45,763 --> 00:32:47,534
Ok kid, do your stuff.
494
00:32:50,058 --> 00:32:51,792
Oh yes!
Yes!
495
00:32:52,248 --> 00:32:55,767
Oh, God!
I feel terrible!
496
00:32:55,887 --> 00:32:58,036
What's happening to me?
497
00:32:58,156 --> 00:33:01,257
What's the matter, Harry?
Not feeling too well?
498
00:33:01,300 --> 00:33:03,626
What?
Who said that?
499
00:33:03,746 --> 00:33:05,600
It's all those late nights.
500
00:33:05,649 --> 00:33:08,431
Maybe you're not getting
enough vitamins.
501
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,827
Care to join me for lunch?
502
00:33:16,886 --> 00:33:21,067
Hmm, carrots!
It's not one of yours, is it Harry?
503
00:33:21,128 --> 00:33:22,560
You are sick!
504
00:33:22,603 --> 00:33:24,797
No, Harry.
I think you are.
505
00:33:24,858 --> 00:33:27,299
What you got? Give me the rundown
on your symptoms.
506
00:33:27,456 --> 00:33:30,791
I ain't got nothing,
you shit-eating journo.
507
00:33:31,070 --> 00:33:34,994
You can't suppress the media,
Harry.
508
00:33:37,110 --> 00:33:40,844
Come on, you can tell me,
I'll be very discreet.
509
00:33:40,964 --> 00:33:44,219
I'm as fit as a fiddle.
I feel fantastic.
510
00:33:44,339 --> 00:33:45,825
And I'm sick and tired of your...
511
00:33:45,863 --> 00:33:47,177
Hold it right there!
512
00:33:47,215 --> 00:33:49,171
"I'm tired and I'm sick",
says Harry...
513
00:33:49,209 --> 00:33:52,088
the Hare star of
the Feebles Variety Hour.
514
00:33:52,463 --> 00:33:54,367
Sounds like the germs
of a good story.
515
00:33:54,396 --> 00:33:56,262
Leave me alone!
516
00:33:56,382 --> 00:33:58,034
You can't hide the truth, Harry.
517
00:33:58,072 --> 00:34:02,729
Whatever it is you got, I'm going to find out
even if I have to make it up.
518
00:34:05,842 --> 00:34:09,252
This is going to be a great scoop!
519
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,776
Jesus Trevor,
have you got the stuff?
520
00:34:15,004 --> 00:34:16,668
I'm hanging out, man.
521
00:34:16,871 --> 00:34:19,747
I'll get you the money tomorrow,
I promise.
522
00:34:19,867 --> 00:34:22,081
Hello, my name's Robert.
523
00:34:22,471 --> 00:34:24,260
Are you the new supplier?
524
00:34:24,307 --> 00:34:26,008
No, I've been sent
by the director...
525
00:34:26,044 --> 00:34:28,062
to assist you in your
knife-throwing routine.
526
00:34:28,123 --> 00:34:32,065
- Oh, shit! - I was wondering if
you would like to practice.
527
00:34:32,390 --> 00:34:35,354
No, I don't know, man,
I really don't know.
528
00:34:35,474 --> 00:34:38,303
It's not such a hot idea.
529
00:34:39,154 --> 00:34:41,769
- Have you got any smack?
- Smack?
530
00:34:41,889 --> 00:34:44,541
Horse, liquid sky,
skag...
531
00:34:44,579 --> 00:34:46,935
snow, coke, crack,
methadone...
532
00:34:46,996 --> 00:34:49,401
Benzedrine, pinkies, San Ped...
533
00:34:49,732 --> 00:34:51,787
Morning Glory, nutmeg,
blue meanies...
534
00:34:51,907 --> 00:34:54,276
aspirin, Ados, paracetamol...
535
00:34:54,401 --> 00:34:56,018
Vicks VapoRub?!!
536
00:34:57,630 --> 00:35:02,612
Oh, you don't happen to be
an asthmatic by any chance?
537
00:35:02,963 --> 00:35:04,654
Could I borrow your huffer?
538
00:35:04,774 --> 00:35:06,397
I don't take drugs of any sort.
539
00:35:06,597 --> 00:35:08,854
I don't believe it's right
to abuse your body like that.
540
00:35:08,974 --> 00:35:11,770
Oh well, that's easy for you to say.
541
00:35:12,074 --> 00:35:14,160
You haven't been to hell and back.
542
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:15,674
- Eh?
- Nam!
543
00:35:15,794 --> 00:35:19,823
- Oh, you've been to Vietnam?
- I saw the worst of it, kid.
544
00:35:23,541 --> 00:35:27,487
Tet Offensive 1968.
545
00:35:27,741 --> 00:35:30,550
Charlie had our backs
against the wall!
546
00:35:30,750 --> 00:35:32,666
There were six of us.
547
00:35:33,564 --> 00:35:34,901
There were five of us.
548
00:35:36,647 --> 00:35:41,536
Every gook north of Saigon
was drawing a bead on us.
549
00:35:53,093 --> 00:35:55,350
Take cover!
550
00:35:58,379 --> 00:36:01,339
Wynyard!
Cover me!
551
00:36:01,779 --> 00:36:08,020
Jim! Jim!
552
00:36:13,009 --> 00:36:14,780
Quickly, hurry up!
553
00:36:16,683 --> 00:36:18,579
Thanks Jim, I owe you one!
554
00:36:18,699 --> 00:36:22,563
I wasn't about to see my best buddy
peppered with Charlie's lead.
555
00:36:27,052 --> 00:36:28,662
Three weeks later...
556
00:36:28,871 --> 00:36:32,670
we were on a routine patrol
north of Tai Pang.
557
00:36:33,090 --> 00:36:35,032
Charlie was close...
558
00:36:35,152 --> 00:36:38,985
so close
you could almost smell him.
559
00:36:51,605 --> 00:36:53,163
Where's Eightball?
560
00:36:53,283 --> 00:36:55,081
Better go back and look for him.
561
00:37:04,352 --> 00:37:06,375
Eightball!
Thank God!
562
00:37:06,495 --> 00:37:09,001
We thought the gooks
had got you, Eightball.
563
00:37:13,318 --> 00:37:17,161
Drop your weapons and put your hands up
revisionist running dogs.
564
00:37:24,276 --> 00:37:28,032
In the days that followed
I wished a thousand times...
565
00:37:28,152 --> 00:37:30,914
that it was my head
on that stake.
566
00:37:31,034 --> 00:37:36,693
Re-education time
for fascist imperialists.
567
00:37:39,344 --> 00:37:41,114
You... read...
568
00:37:41,811 --> 00:37:43,993
You... read.
569
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,923
I can't see, you bastards!
570
00:37:52,419 --> 00:37:57,152
Oh God! Oh God!
571
00:37:59,180 --> 00:38:01,727
We didn't see Chuck for two days.
572
00:38:01,847 --> 00:38:03,687
We thought he was a goner.
573
00:38:03,807 --> 00:38:08,375
But then on the third night
they brought him back to us.
574
00:38:13,493 --> 00:38:16,408
The bastards had taken his legs.
575
00:38:20,017 --> 00:38:22,688
I still say that private enterprise...
576
00:38:22,787 --> 00:38:26,102
is acceptable
at a village level...
577
00:38:26,375 --> 00:38:29,649
providing it is strictly controlled
by the party.
578
00:38:30,073 --> 00:38:35,059
We must not let petty
bourgeois aspirations...
579
00:38:35,292 --> 00:38:37,977
taint socialist pedagogy.
580
00:38:38,826 --> 00:38:42,774
Reform is the enemy
of revolution.
581
00:38:45,649 --> 00:38:48,021
The Cong hadn't finished with us yet.
582
00:38:48,141 --> 00:38:54,179
Their twisted communist minds
had devised one last torture.
583
00:39:27,884 --> 00:39:31,384
As I stared down
the muzzle of that gun...
584
00:39:31,504 --> 00:39:34,747
I thought of Chuck and Eightball...
585
00:39:34,914 --> 00:39:37,500
and the thousands of others
who had perished...
586
00:39:37,538 --> 00:39:40,384
in that godforsaken wilderness.
587
00:39:40,710 --> 00:39:43,401
I was not afraid to join them.
588
00:39:55,254 --> 00:39:57,204
Let's get out of here!
589
00:40:08,749 --> 00:40:09,963
Help me!
590
00:40:14,083 --> 00:40:16,091
Come on buddy, help me up!
591
00:40:17,091 --> 00:40:19,843
Wynyard! Winyard!
Don't leave me!
592
00:40:19,963 --> 00:40:23,500
Please!
Dear God, no! Nooo!
593
00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:41,234
It was six months before
I got outta that Saigon hospital.
594
00:40:41,524 --> 00:40:45,717
By then I was hooked
on every barbiturate known to man.
595
00:40:46,012 --> 00:40:48,231
Gosh!
What an awful time you've had!
596
00:40:48,351 --> 00:40:49,825
Ah, hey kid...
597
00:40:49,883 --> 00:40:54,080
you want to express your sympathy
in some kind of material way?
598
00:40:54,376 --> 00:40:55,547
How can I do that?
599
00:40:55,785 --> 00:40:57,809
Vietnam Vets Association.
600
00:40:58,464 --> 00:41:01,202
We're badly under-funded.
601
00:41:06,070 --> 00:41:09,214
Minimum donation fifty bucks.
602
00:41:12,613 --> 00:41:13,931
Thanks, kid.
603
00:41:14,051 --> 00:41:16,354
The Association was in bad need...
604
00:41:16,392 --> 00:41:18,554
of a cash injection.
605
00:41:22,377 --> 00:41:26,040
Ooh! Ooh!
What an organ!
606
00:41:32,599 --> 00:41:36,637
Do you really think people
are interested in nasal sex?
607
00:41:36,757 --> 00:41:39,681
Sure boss.
It's the latest fad.
608
00:41:39,801 --> 00:41:41,023
You got a title?
609
00:41:41,143 --> 00:41:44,100
I thought:
"Dennis Does Daisy".
610
00:41:44,220 --> 00:41:45,814
Nah, that's lousy.
611
00:41:45,934 --> 00:41:47,166
Well how about:
612
00:41:47,376 --> 00:41:49,623
"Anal Antics"?
613
00:41:50,166 --> 00:41:52,024
Anal Antics...
614
00:41:52,144 --> 00:41:53,351
Not bad.
615
00:41:53,415 --> 00:41:55,532
It's got a certain ring to it.
616
00:41:55,594 --> 00:41:57,906
It'll appeal to the intellectuals.
617
00:41:58,026 --> 00:41:59,982
Do you think it'll do as well as
our last release...
618
00:42:00,011 --> 00:42:02,300
and win the Hooker Prize?
619
00:42:04,707 --> 00:42:07,117
You know I'm worried
about Madame Bovine.
620
00:42:07,237 --> 00:42:09,517
We've lost money on
her last two pictures.
621
00:42:09,637 --> 00:42:12,048
You want her replaced, boss?
622
00:42:12,248 --> 00:42:15,115
I think the public are tired
of big udders.
623
00:42:15,235 --> 00:42:18,212
Find someone young and petite.
624
00:42:21,515 --> 00:42:24,009
Sure thing, boss.
625
00:42:25,706 --> 00:42:27,493
Bring on the next act!
626
00:42:27,930 --> 00:42:30,494
It's the contortionist,
Arbee Bargwan.
627
00:42:30,614 --> 00:42:33,058
I told him he wasn't needed
for half an hour.
628
00:42:33,179 --> 00:42:34,543
He'll be meditating.
629
00:42:34,663 --> 00:42:37,665
Well you'll just have
to interrupt him, won't you?
630
00:42:38,333 --> 00:42:41,562
Oh, never mind.
I'll get him myself.
631
00:42:47,117 --> 00:42:50,431
Arbee darling,
I hate to intrude upon nirvana...
632
00:42:50,551 --> 00:42:52,621
but you're needed on stage.
633
00:42:52,741 --> 00:42:57,454
Please do not interrupt me.
I am traveling on the astral plane.
634
00:42:58,895 --> 00:43:01,076
Well, perhaps you could change
your flight plan...
635
00:43:01,196 --> 00:43:04,081
and grace us mere mortals
with your presence.
636
00:43:04,201 --> 00:43:06,643
I am impervious to your cynicism.
637
00:43:06,671 --> 00:43:09,868
Listen to me,
you double-jointed freak!
638
00:43:09,988 --> 00:43:11,463
If you're not on stage
in five minutes...
639
00:43:11,530 --> 00:43:16,032
you can consider yourself permanently
disembodied from the entire show.
640
00:43:16,728 --> 00:43:17,913
Hey!
641
00:43:46,786 --> 00:43:49,227
Oh good gracious, Harry!
642
00:43:50,055 --> 00:43:51,669
Somebody call a doctor!
643
00:43:52,154 --> 00:43:53,864
How are we feeling, Harry?
644
00:43:53,984 --> 00:43:58,501
Ah, I feel real bad, Doc.
What have I got?
645
00:43:58,621 --> 00:44:01,911
I'll do some tests,
but I don't hold out much hope.
646
00:44:02,111 --> 00:44:05,861
There's only one disease
that fits these symptoms.
647
00:44:05,990 --> 00:44:07,416
It's the big one, Harry.
648
00:44:07,536 --> 00:44:08,997
No, no!
Not the big one!
649
00:44:09,117 --> 00:44:12,318
I'll have to notify
the health authorities.
650
00:44:12,438 --> 00:44:15,094
They'll want a list of
your sexual partners...
651
00:44:15,493 --> 00:44:16,784
for the last twelve months.
652
00:44:16,822 --> 00:44:18,984
It can't be true!
It can't be!
653
00:44:19,012 --> 00:44:21,282
I've taken precautions!
654
00:44:23,189 --> 00:44:24,649
Tell me Doc...
655
00:44:25,037 --> 00:44:26,951
...how long have I got?
656
00:44:27,071 --> 00:44:28,789
It's difficult to tell...
657
00:44:28,909 --> 00:44:31,494
but with a case
as advanced as yours...
658
00:44:31,722 --> 00:44:33,646
ten,
maybe twelve...
659
00:44:33,766 --> 00:44:36,592
- Months?
- Hours.
660
00:44:36,712 --> 00:44:38,292
I'm sorry, Harry.
661
00:44:38,874 --> 00:44:41,893
Doc, can you do me
one favour?
662
00:44:42,013 --> 00:44:44,493
Sure Harry, shoot.
663
00:44:44,688 --> 00:44:48,623
Don't tell anyone.
Let me do the show tonight.
664
00:44:48,743 --> 00:44:50,305
OK Harry.
665
00:44:50,509 --> 00:44:54,847
I want to go out
with my reputation intact.
666
00:44:57,014 --> 00:44:58,969
Fat chance Harry!
667
00:45:00,871 --> 00:45:04,052
All right then Arbee,
thrill me!
668
00:45:11,516 --> 00:45:13,274
Hippy shit!
669
00:45:38,393 --> 00:45:41,260
Sorry guv.
Should I start again?
670
00:45:41,488 --> 00:45:43,612
Move on, move on.
671
00:46:06,470 --> 00:46:07,394
Oh dear!
672
00:46:07,514 --> 00:46:09,286
Are you all right up there?
673
00:46:09,406 --> 00:46:13,857
I seem to have stuck
my head up my rectum.
674
00:46:16,124 --> 00:46:19,423
You mean it's not part of your act?
Pity.
675
00:46:19,543 --> 00:46:22,017
We could call it:
"Passage to India."
676
00:46:22,689 --> 00:46:25,227
Oh, come on, come on, uncontort!
677
00:46:25,347 --> 00:46:26,889
Somebody help him!
678
00:46:27,009 --> 00:46:30,297
It's no good guv,
he's stuck fast.
679
00:46:31,585 --> 00:46:35,432
I am in need of assistance here,
please!
680
00:46:35,552 --> 00:46:40,022
Oh God, this is it!
This is the last straw!
681
00:46:48,803 --> 00:46:49,785
Bletch!
682
00:46:49,905 --> 00:46:51,438
We've got to talk!
683
00:46:51,976 --> 00:46:53,798
We've got a crisis on our hands!
684
00:46:54,134 --> 00:46:56,110
Wynyard's killed his assistant.
685
00:46:56,213 --> 00:46:57,930
Arbee's out of action...
686
00:46:58,016 --> 00:47:00,477
Sid's routine is
a complete write-off!
687
00:47:00,857 --> 00:47:04,457
We've got no alternative but
to reinstate my song!
688
00:47:04,577 --> 00:47:05,657
No!
689
00:47:05,777 --> 00:47:06,800
Bletch, I'm sorry...
690
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,028
...but the show is
in a shambles!
691
00:47:09,438 --> 00:47:11,509
This is a family show,
for Chrissake!
692
00:47:11,629 --> 00:47:13,166
The network would never allow it.
693
00:47:13,286 --> 00:47:15,680
But it's a superb piece of song
and dance...
694
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,139
I know it'll go down fabulously
with the public.
695
00:47:18,642 --> 00:47:21,188
I demand it be included!
696
00:47:21,395 --> 00:47:24,719
Keep your filthy paws
off my furniture!
697
00:47:25,093 --> 00:47:28,318
We've got a wonderful new
interpretation and it's fully rehearsed.
698
00:47:28,438 --> 00:47:30,305
It sort of goes like this.
Watch.
699
00:47:31,215 --> 00:47:33,520
The chorus comes in stage left...
700
00:47:35,405 --> 00:47:37,181
and there's a lovely little bit
with the piano...
701
00:47:37,301 --> 00:47:39,905
and that's where I come in
from upstage.
702
00:47:40,105 --> 00:47:41,705
And I sort of pirouette...
703
00:47:41,825 --> 00:47:43,933
and the strings are swirling
around me...
704
00:47:43,962 --> 00:47:45,057
and if you can imagine...
705
00:47:45,177 --> 00:47:47,486
the cellos are coming in
at this point...
706
00:47:49,426 --> 00:47:52,217
And I leap across la la!
707
00:47:55,417 --> 00:47:57,852
I say, Bletch,
put me down!
708
00:47:58,485 --> 00:48:02,294
I've had just about enough
of your goddamn compositions.
709
00:48:02,414 --> 00:48:06,957
Now get back on the stage
and do your job!
710
00:48:09,107 --> 00:48:12,135
It's your loss, philistine!
711
00:48:12,255 --> 00:48:13,391
Faggot!
712
00:48:23,047 --> 00:48:27,542
Guten Tag, Frau Heidi!
What will it be today?
713
00:48:28,721 --> 00:48:31,985
Just one of those tiny truffles,
please.
714
00:48:52,853 --> 00:48:54,520
Oh, Heidi!
715
00:49:15,173 --> 00:49:17,039
Will that be all, Frau Heidi?
716
00:49:17,159 --> 00:49:19,837
Something to take away, maybe?
717
00:49:21,683 --> 00:49:23,735
The black forest cherry cake?
718
00:49:29,900 --> 00:49:34,167
Hi Harry!
Just doing a bit of undercover work.
719
00:49:34,287 --> 00:49:36,392
Heh!
That rash on your groin...
720
00:49:36,430 --> 00:49:38,019
...looks pretty ugly...
721
00:49:38,139 --> 00:49:40,430
...don't taste too good neither.
722
00:49:40,592 --> 00:49:43,392
Get out of my bed, you parasite!
723
00:49:43,426 --> 00:49:46,290
Hold it right there, Harry.
That's great!
724
00:49:49,731 --> 00:49:51,306
Me nuts!
725
00:49:54,024 --> 00:49:56,947
I was sorry to hear
about your fatal disease.
726
00:49:57,067 --> 00:49:58,338
Do you have any comments?
727
00:49:58,366 --> 00:49:59,919
It's slander,
it's libel!
728
00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:04,387
I have no fatal disease!
I'm perfectly healthy!
729
00:50:04,507 --> 00:50:08,352
Let me just see what
Dr. Quack had to say.
730
00:50:08,951 --> 00:50:10,161
Quote:
731
00:50:10,281 --> 00:50:13,803
"There's only one disease
that fits these symptoms.
732
00:50:13,923 --> 00:50:15,833
It's the big one, Harry."
733
00:50:15,953 --> 00:50:17,201
Unquote.
734
00:50:18,362 --> 00:50:20,928
Oh, great pathos.
Move your hand away.
735
00:50:21,048 --> 00:50:23,114
I want some shots of real tears.
736
00:50:23,153 --> 00:50:24,990
What do you want from me?
Money?
737
00:50:25,110 --> 00:50:27,194
I'll pay you anything.
738
00:50:27,314 --> 00:50:28,423
Sorry, Harry.
739
00:50:28,594 --> 00:50:30,997
You could never pay me
what this story's worth.
740
00:50:31,117 --> 00:50:32,121
Wait! Wait!
741
00:50:32,241 --> 00:50:35,273
I'll give you
my life insurance policy.
742
00:50:35,393 --> 00:50:37,521
Life insurance?
Now you're talking.
743
00:50:37,641 --> 00:50:40,513
Come over here,
I'll sign it over to you.
744
00:50:40,633 --> 00:50:44,332
Great, I'll be able to cash it
in this time tomorrow.
745
00:50:46,485 --> 00:50:47,932
Nice try, Harry!
746
00:50:48,052 --> 00:50:50,493
I've gotta go. We both
have deadlines to meet.
747
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,697
Get it, Harry?
"Deadline".
748
00:50:53,783 --> 00:50:56,297
That's not a bad one.
Stop press!
749
00:50:56,417 --> 00:50:59,944
Hold the front page!
I got an exclusive!
750
00:51:08,623 --> 00:51:12,157
Here!
You stuck it in the wrong way round!
751
00:51:12,277 --> 00:51:15,815
I'm sorry.
I didn't know worms had nerves.
752
00:51:15,935 --> 00:51:20,158
Ever since the nightmare of Vietnam
he's been a hopeless drug addict.
753
00:51:20,386 --> 00:51:23,429
It made me realise
just how lucky I am.
754
00:51:23,549 --> 00:51:26,509
How lucky we both are!
755
00:51:28,884 --> 00:51:32,055
I'm so glad we decided
to get engaged.
756
00:51:32,848 --> 00:51:34,534
Good luck for tonight, Lucy.
757
00:51:34,654 --> 00:51:36,676
- Are you nervous?
- Just a bit.
758
00:51:36,796 --> 00:51:37,993
Me too.
759
00:51:38,518 --> 00:51:40,792
Actually I'm terribly nervous.
760
00:51:41,219 --> 00:51:42,562
This is my first show.
761
00:51:42,682 --> 00:51:45,894
You'll be wonderful.
I know you will.
762
00:52:00,660 --> 00:52:02,594
I hope I'm not interrupting.
763
00:52:02,714 --> 00:52:04,805
I was just dressing
for the show.
764
00:52:04,930 --> 00:52:06,290
So I see.
765
00:52:06,410 --> 00:52:07,436
What do you want?
766
00:52:07,556 --> 00:52:10,102
Oh, a moment of your time.
767
00:52:10,340 --> 00:52:12,773
We've got something
to celebrate.
768
00:52:12,893 --> 00:52:15,860
- What's that?
- Your new career.
769
00:52:16,063 --> 00:52:19,234
Lucille, I'm gonna put you
in the movies.
770
00:52:19,354 --> 00:52:20,301
Movies!
771
00:52:20,421 --> 00:52:22,501
I've been watching you
for some time.
772
00:52:22,621 --> 00:52:25,669
You've got
that indefinable something.
773
00:52:25,983 --> 00:52:28,063
Star quality!
774
00:52:28,916 --> 00:52:32,326
That's my real ambition,
to be in films!
775
00:52:32,564 --> 00:52:35,145
I've got a meaty part for you.
776
00:52:35,602 --> 00:52:37,593
Will I have to audition?
777
00:52:37,713 --> 00:52:40,414
That's what I'm here for.
778
00:52:40,534 --> 00:52:43,595
I feel woozy.
779
00:52:44,177 --> 00:52:47,829
Here, let me loosen your clothes.
780
00:52:48,825 --> 00:52:54,276
What beautiful white fur
you've got, my dear.
781
00:52:55,674 --> 00:52:57,486
Lucille, you left this in my room...
782
00:52:57,606 --> 00:53:00,334
Take a hike!
Can't you see that we're busy?
783
00:53:00,543 --> 00:53:02,641
- Lucille!
- Oh, Jesus!
784
00:53:02,761 --> 00:53:06,816
- Robert?
- You've been drinking!
785
00:53:07,149 --> 00:53:10,016
It's OK.
I've finished with her anyway.
786
00:53:10,136 --> 00:53:14,266
Oh, go for your life, kid.
She's a real good ride.
787
00:53:14,468 --> 00:53:17,425
- How could you do this?
- Robert!
788
00:53:18,235 --> 00:53:20,641
Lucille, how could you?
789
00:53:20,866 --> 00:53:22,704
No!
Robert!
790
00:53:22,860 --> 00:53:24,462
Wait!
791
00:53:25,441 --> 00:53:29,022
Where is she for God's sake?
Look at the time!
792
00:53:29,222 --> 00:53:32,089
It's all right, guv.
Miss Heidi's arrived on stage.
793
00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:35,188
At last!
From the top!
794
00:53:45,514 --> 00:53:47,806
♪ On a magic night... ♪
795
00:53:48,946 --> 00:53:51,380
♪ ...when the way you feel... ♪
796
00:53:51,868 --> 00:53:53,782
♪ ...is a mystery... ♪
797
00:53:55,192 --> 00:53:57,413
♪ ...it will be revealed. ♪
798
00:53:58,173 --> 00:54:00,574
♪ Could be an angel... ♪
799
00:54:01,448 --> 00:54:03,891
♪ ...from up above... ♪
800
00:54:04,894 --> 00:54:06,463
♪ ...with a flower... ♪
801
00:54:06,583 --> 00:54:11,048
♪ ...from the garden.
The garden of... ♪
802
00:54:13,540 --> 00:54:16,806
♪ Garden of Love. ♪
803
00:54:24,427 --> 00:54:26,435
♪ On another day... ♪
804
00:54:27,646 --> 00:54:29,516
♪ ...it may come again. ♪
805
00:54:31,608 --> 00:54:33,884
♪ It's a Valentine... ♪
806
00:54:34,657 --> 00:54:36,687
♪ ...from a special friend. ♪
807
00:54:37,540 --> 00:54:39,810
♪ That certain someone... ♪
808
00:54:40,353 --> 00:54:42,791
♪ ...you've been dreaming of... ♪
809
00:54:43,791 --> 00:54:47,498
♪ ...with a flower from the garden... ♪
810
00:54:47,618 --> 00:54:51,152
♪ ...the garden of love. ♪
811
00:54:53,848 --> 00:54:59,172
♪ Garden of Love... ♪
812
00:55:02,955 --> 00:55:09,202
♪ There are mysteriesthat no one knows... ♪
813
00:55:10,009 --> 00:55:14,631
♪ ...someone offers youa single rose... ♪
814
00:55:15,118 --> 00:55:18,900
♪ There, there's no limit to the... ♪
815
00:55:47,610 --> 00:55:48,938
It wasn't my fault.
816
00:55:49,071 --> 00:55:51,863
You've been over-eating again!
817
00:55:51,983 --> 00:55:53,282
No I haven't.
818
00:55:54,028 --> 00:55:58,079
There is black forest cherry cake
in your cleavage.
819
00:55:58,199 --> 00:56:00,075
Ooh! How did that get there?
820
00:56:00,138 --> 00:56:02,984
You know what chocolate
does to your system.
821
00:56:03,161 --> 00:56:04,496
It was only a small wedge.
822
00:56:04,555 --> 00:56:07,062
Your contract specifically states
you are forbidden...
823
00:56:07,182 --> 00:56:09,368
to eat gateaux
on the day of a performance.
824
00:56:09,998 --> 00:56:12,284
- I was depressed.
- You're depressed?
825
00:56:12,404 --> 00:56:16,304
We're going out live in three hours,
for God's sake!
826
00:56:16,424 --> 00:56:19,477
Don't speak to me like that!
You don't understand!
827
00:56:19,597 --> 00:56:22,545
None of you understand!
828
00:56:24,273 --> 00:56:27,143
Bletch! Bletch!
829
00:56:27,263 --> 00:56:32,328
Suddenly I feel very, very old.
830
00:56:36,261 --> 00:56:38,275
Bletch!
Don't you want to have me?
831
00:56:38,405 --> 00:56:39,476
I must talk to you.
832
00:56:39,534 --> 00:56:41,517
Say you love only me!
833
00:56:41,740 --> 00:56:43,160
Don't you love me?
834
00:56:43,465 --> 00:56:44,566
Don't you, Bletch?
835
00:56:44,633 --> 00:56:47,467
Oh... er... Heidi...
836
00:56:48,869 --> 00:56:50,118
Bletch?
837
00:57:02,557 --> 00:57:04,780
Heidi!
It's not what you think.
838
00:57:05,328 --> 00:57:06,633
Heidi!
839
00:57:19,476 --> 00:57:22,377
Miss Heidi,
what on Earth's the matter?
840
00:57:29,276 --> 00:57:30,493
Damn!
841
00:57:53,759 --> 00:57:55,458
What took you so long?
842
00:57:55,867 --> 00:57:58,626
We were starting to think
you weren't gonna show.
843
00:57:59,445 --> 00:58:03,099
We had some trouble
with Customs snooping around.
844
00:58:03,219 --> 00:58:04,399
Is it all there?
845
00:58:04,519 --> 00:58:06,329
Yeah, yeah.
It's all there.
846
00:58:06,540 --> 00:58:09,172
- I've got to go.
- Not so fast.
847
00:58:09,235 --> 00:58:11,157
It's all there, I tell you.
848
00:58:12,727 --> 00:58:15,055
What's the hurry, Louie?
849
00:58:16,601 --> 00:58:19,704
It's one hundred per cent
pure. Uncut.
850
00:58:19,969 --> 00:58:21,766
I'm sure it is.
851
00:58:21,886 --> 00:58:23,641
Barry, do me a line.
852
00:58:36,344 --> 00:58:38,140
Some contracts
for you to sign, Mr. Bletch.
853
00:58:38,260 --> 00:58:41,899
Here Dennis.
I've got a little treat for you.
854
00:58:43,727 --> 00:58:45,813
Don't mind if I do Mr. Bletch.
855
00:59:14,740 --> 00:59:16,024
Borax!
856
00:59:16,227 --> 00:59:18,399
Honest to God,
I didn't know.
857
00:59:18,492 --> 00:59:20,413
I'm as surprised as you are.
858
00:59:20,623 --> 00:59:23,280
Please Mr. Bletch,
let's talk about this.
859
00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:25,451
I think that's a very good idea.
860
00:59:25,571 --> 00:59:27,328
Where's the merchandise?
861
00:59:27,448 --> 00:59:30,347
It's... it's...
862
00:59:31,410 --> 00:59:33,733
Speak up.
I can't hear you.
863
00:59:35,438 --> 00:59:37,548
It's down on the docks.
864
00:59:37,751 --> 00:59:39,848
Mr. Big's shipping it out
tonight.
865
00:59:39,968 --> 00:59:42,179
Whereabouts on the docks?
866
00:59:42,608 --> 00:59:44,141
Shed 11.
867
00:59:44,469 --> 00:59:47,688
There, that wasn't so hard,
was it?
868
00:59:48,009 --> 00:59:48,972
Now, then...
869
00:59:49,092 --> 00:59:51,766
What are we going to do
with all this borax?
870
00:59:52,067 --> 00:59:53,924
You seem a bit congested, Louie.
871
00:59:54,044 --> 00:59:57,135
Maybe your passages need
cleaning out.
872
00:59:57,255 --> 00:59:58,807
I don't understand.
873
00:59:58,927 --> 01:00:00,341
Say "ah".
874
01:00:00,876 --> 01:00:03,265
No. No, no, not that!
875
01:00:03,522 --> 01:00:06,011
No, Mr. Bletch, please!
876
01:00:16,383 --> 01:00:20,009
You liquidated him real good,
boss.
877
01:00:27,550 --> 01:00:31,360
I think it's time we paid our
Mr. Big a visit.
878
01:00:35,113 --> 01:00:36,148
Bletch...
879
01:00:36,268 --> 01:00:39,977
- I'm sorry, the show's off.
- What the hell are you talking about?
880
01:00:40,097 --> 01:00:41,672
Heidi's refusing to perform.
881
01:00:41,710 --> 01:00:44,653
The network won't proceed without her,
they've cancelled the live transmission.
882
01:00:44,773 --> 01:00:46,508
What do you mean?
Of course she's performing.
883
01:00:46,628 --> 01:00:48,040
I'm sorry Bletch.
884
01:00:48,134 --> 01:00:51,727
She's locked herself in her room
and won't talk to anyone.
885
01:00:52,660 --> 01:00:54,946
Give me five minutes.
886
01:00:55,860 --> 01:00:58,222
It's all over.
Go home everybody.
887
01:00:58,342 --> 01:00:59,393
It's kaput.
888
01:00:59,513 --> 01:01:01,477
Finito!
Buggered!
889
01:01:01,679 --> 01:01:03,376
It's all off!
890
01:01:03,643 --> 01:01:07,212
Oh my goodness!
Steady me, Barton.
891
01:01:07,465 --> 01:01:09,680
I think I'm going to faint.
892
01:01:10,970 --> 01:01:11,999
Heidi!
893
01:01:12,119 --> 01:01:14,103
It's Bletch!
894
01:01:21,031 --> 01:01:24,241
Heidi,
I want to make love to you.
895
01:01:24,361 --> 01:01:26,759
Oh, Bletch!
896
01:01:26,879 --> 01:01:32,083
You drive me crazy.
Quick, come over here and undo my buttons!
897
01:01:33,026 --> 01:01:35,864
You mad impetuous brute!
898
01:01:38,530 --> 01:01:40,571
I knew you'd come.
899
01:02:03,159 --> 01:02:05,634
Somebody call the network.
900
01:02:05,911 --> 01:02:08,790
The show will go on!
901
01:02:27,758 --> 01:02:31,696
So I got out me razor
and slit his throat.
902
01:02:32,198 --> 01:02:34,912
Then I buggered the bastard.
903
01:02:35,874 --> 01:02:37,399
Ah, strewth Cedric.
904
01:02:37,519 --> 01:02:39,160
It's bad enough getting wasted,
but...
905
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:43,884
to have your last living memory
being rooted by a Scots psychopath...
906
01:02:44,599 --> 01:02:46,380
it's what I call a real bummer,
mate.
907
01:02:46,418 --> 01:02:47,694
Ah hey, what's that?
908
01:02:47,814 --> 01:02:50,227
Oh Christ! Lookout!
909
01:02:51,199 --> 01:02:52,717
Bastards!
910
01:03:45,467 --> 01:03:49,743
(??*) you bastard...
...that's me buggered!
911
01:03:54,724 --> 01:03:56,789
Right men, let's load up.
912
01:04:10,911 --> 01:04:12,743
That's the lot, boss.
913
01:04:13,178 --> 01:04:15,311
Time we made ourselves scarce.
914
01:04:29,244 --> 01:04:31,311
Oh no!
915
01:04:34,375 --> 01:04:35,852
Move it, Trevor!
916
01:04:39,703 --> 01:04:41,009
Oh Jesus!
917
01:04:42,131 --> 01:04:43,290
Shit!
918
01:04:45,219 --> 01:04:47,040
Come on, for Chrissake!
919
01:04:49,038 --> 01:04:50,313
Plant boot!
920
01:04:56,745 --> 01:04:59,778
God I hate arachnids!
921
01:05:19,714 --> 01:05:21,836
Christ... it's Mr. Big!
922
01:05:23,653 --> 01:05:28,361
Hello Bletch.
Where are you going?
923
01:05:28,609 --> 01:05:31,328
I'm taking what's mine.
Don't try to stop us.
924
01:05:31,448 --> 01:05:34,376
You're out of your league,
little fella.
925
01:05:34,496 --> 01:05:37,909
Kiss your arse goodbye!
926
01:05:38,623 --> 01:05:40,142
Take him out Trevor.
927
01:05:49,563 --> 01:05:52,999
Change down Trevor,
the duodenum's pretty steep.
928
01:05:58,708 --> 01:06:00,517
Which way, boss?
Left or right?
929
01:06:00,637 --> 01:06:02,251
Follow the light.
930
01:06:10,679 --> 01:06:12,574
Get me back to the theater
double quick!
931
01:06:12,694 --> 01:06:14,174
Sure thing, boss.
932
01:06:14,294 --> 01:06:17,751
I'll have to change my suit.
I'm covered in ambergris.
933
01:06:21,938 --> 01:06:23,706
Where's Harry?
He's meant to be here!
934
01:06:23,826 --> 01:06:26,439
Move the carrot to the left.
Arthur, have you focused the spot?
935
01:06:26,559 --> 01:06:28,534
Where's Harry for God's sake?
936
01:06:28,753 --> 01:06:30,757
Don't look like
Harry's going to perform.
937
01:06:30,877 --> 01:06:32,052
He's had a bad turn.
938
01:06:32,172 --> 01:06:34,032
No problem, no problem...
939
01:06:34,261 --> 01:06:35,909
We'll bring "The Garden of Love" forward.
940
01:06:36,029 --> 01:06:38,118
We're on a roll everybody.
941
01:06:38,966 --> 01:06:42,252
Miss Heidi, you look radiant.
942
01:06:42,471 --> 01:06:44,537
Dorothy, I feel radiant!
943
01:06:44,759 --> 01:06:47,805
Tonight will be
the performance of my life!
944
01:06:48,669 --> 01:06:51,284
Kill me if you want to, Harry.
It's too late.
945
01:06:51,404 --> 01:06:54,584
It won't make any difference.
The story's already gone to press.
946
01:06:54,704 --> 01:06:57,829
You overgrown maggot!
You're bluffing!
947
01:06:58,155 --> 01:06:59,374
Am I Harry?
948
01:06:59,494 --> 01:07:01,698
Extra! Extra!
Read all about it!
949
01:07:01,818 --> 01:07:04,060
Famous Feeble has
death row sex disease!
950
01:07:04,180 --> 01:07:08,774
Congratulations,
you're front-page news.
951
01:07:09,660 --> 01:07:12,087
Extra, extra!
Read all about it!
952
01:07:12,659 --> 01:07:15,269
Extra! Extra, extra!
953
01:07:15,389 --> 01:07:17,993
Sex disease strikes
Feeble fraternity.
954
01:07:18,113 --> 01:07:20,031
Thank you, ma'am.
Extra, extra!
955
01:07:20,151 --> 01:07:22,307
Sex disease...
Thank you, sir.
956
01:07:25,985 --> 01:07:28,661
Jesus Christ!
Do you know anything about this, Trevor?
957
01:07:28,781 --> 01:07:30,080
Not a thing, boss.
958
01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:34,665
Why couldn't that goddamn bed-hopping
bunny keep his member to himself?
959
01:07:34,785 --> 01:07:36,061
Who wrote this crap?
960
01:07:36,181 --> 01:07:38,089
I got a good idea, boss.
961
01:07:38,209 --> 01:07:39,626
Find him!
962
01:07:41,289 --> 01:07:44,933
Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention please.
963
01:07:45,615 --> 01:07:48,594
Welcome to the newest,
the greatest...
964
01:07:48,751 --> 01:07:50,672
the most spectacular show...
965
01:07:50,792 --> 01:07:52,427
in entertainment history.
966
01:07:52,948 --> 01:07:54,507
Put your hands together...
967
01:07:54,631 --> 01:07:58,016
for the fabulous
Feebles Variety Hour!
968
01:08:04,344 --> 01:08:07,621
♪ Meet the Feebles,meet the Feebles. ♪
969
01:08:07,878 --> 01:08:10,706
♪ We're not your average ordinary people. ♪
970
01:08:10,826 --> 01:08:14,963
♪ Meet the Feebles,meet the Feebles. ♪
971
01:08:15,163 --> 01:08:18,260
This is a historic moment, Arthur.
972
01:08:18,784 --> 01:08:21,965
Tonight we rocket
into super stardom!
973
01:08:22,184 --> 01:08:25,784
It's an honour to be a part of it,
Mr. Bletch.
974
01:08:30,360 --> 01:08:34,075
♪ ...when you Meet the Feebles,meet the Feebles! ♪
975
01:08:34,370 --> 01:08:37,347
Hey Trev,
I've got fifty bucks, man.
976
01:08:37,467 --> 01:08:39,586
I've got to have it.
I'm on real soon.
977
01:08:39,786 --> 01:08:43,405
This is serious, man.
Look at my hands.
978
01:08:43,525 --> 01:08:45,113
Come with me.
979
01:08:45,881 --> 01:08:49,035
Gorblimey!
Is that a real Havana, Mr. Bletch?
980
01:08:49,155 --> 01:08:51,915
Would you like one, Arthur?
981
01:08:52,035 --> 01:08:53,423
Would I ever!
982
01:09:03,902 --> 01:09:07,493
Thanks a million, Mr. Bletch.
You're a scholar and a gent.
983
01:09:11,227 --> 01:09:14,563
I haven't had one of these
since me twenty-first.
984
01:09:17,713 --> 01:09:21,485
It's a real mans smoke,
ain't it, Mr. Bletch?
985
01:09:44,561 --> 01:09:46,913
♪ On another day... ♪
986
01:09:47,665 --> 01:09:50,265
♪ ...it may come again... ♪
987
01:09:50,930 --> 01:09:53,638
♪ It's a Valentine... ♪
988
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:56,552
♪ ...from a special friend... ♪
989
01:09:57,243 --> 01:09:59,676
♪ That certain someone... ♪
990
01:10:00,420 --> 01:10:02,810
Bletch,
it's going fabulously!
991
01:10:02,930 --> 01:10:04,763
I've just heard
from the network.
992
01:10:04,883 --> 01:10:08,382
They've confirmed
a syndicated series!
993
01:10:08,502 --> 01:10:13,012
And the critics!
The critics are adoring it!
994
01:10:13,132 --> 01:10:16,325
A syndicated series, eh?
995
01:10:17,028 --> 01:10:18,783
Well done, Sebastian.
996
01:10:18,903 --> 01:10:21,156
I can see the headlines now.
997
01:10:21,525 --> 01:10:23,757
"Director's Artistic Genius...
998
01:10:23,877 --> 01:10:25,420
Makes Feeble Evening...
999
01:10:25,540 --> 01:10:27,810
Outstanding Success".
1000
01:10:28,723 --> 01:10:30,662
I gotta go on!
1001
01:10:30,782 --> 01:10:32,554
I gotta go on!
1002
01:10:32,682 --> 01:10:34,687
My public loves me.
1003
01:10:34,750 --> 01:10:36,942
I can't disappoint them.
1004
01:10:37,716 --> 01:10:40,107
Robert, we have to talk.
1005
01:10:40,227 --> 01:10:42,049
We have nothing to say to each other.
1006
01:10:42,169 --> 01:10:44,170
I want to tell you what happened.
1007
01:10:44,290 --> 01:10:45,895
I thought you were nice.
1008
01:10:46,015 --> 01:10:47,113
I am nice.
1009
01:10:47,150 --> 01:10:49,795
No, you're not.
You're loose!
1010
01:10:50,563 --> 01:10:52,653
- And you drink!
- No!
1011
01:10:53,316 --> 01:10:56,029
You're nothing but
a loose lush, Lucille!
1012
01:10:56,149 --> 01:10:58,830
And... and I never want
to see you again.
1013
01:11:06,185 --> 01:11:10,804
♪ The garden of love. ♪
1014
01:11:23,481 --> 01:11:26,333
I say everyone,
who's the dirty person...
1015
01:11:26,453 --> 01:11:30,895
who did the great big stinky poo
that's blocking up the toilet?
1016
01:11:31,015 --> 01:11:33,870
God Trevor, must you be
so disgusting?
1017
01:11:33,879 --> 01:11:35,912
Oh, choice!
1018
01:11:45,250 --> 01:11:47,669
Hey, what'cha doing?
Let me go!
1019
01:11:47,789 --> 01:11:51,002
You've been telling stories again,
haven't you?
1020
01:11:51,202 --> 01:11:54,311
You got a problem with the article,
write to the editor.
1021
01:11:54,511 --> 01:11:55,882
That won't be necessary.
1022
01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:57,730
Help me!
1023
01:11:59,396 --> 01:12:03,105
What do you know, boss,
a left-wing reporter!
1024
01:12:03,225 --> 01:12:06,013
We can't have a biased press,
can we Trevor?
1025
01:12:06,133 --> 01:12:07,463
No boss.
1026
01:12:14,308 --> 01:12:18,129
Now that's what I call
an impartial journalist.
1027
01:12:32,231 --> 01:12:33,791
Hello Bletch!
1028
01:12:34,364 --> 01:12:37,484
Heidi!
What the hell are you doing here?
1029
01:12:37,604 --> 01:12:39,176
Congratulations!
1030
01:12:39,579 --> 01:12:42,283
The show is a wonderful success!
1031
01:12:42,403 --> 01:12:43,571
What do you want?
1032
01:12:43,691 --> 01:12:46,643
Our encounter this afternoon
was so brief!
1033
01:12:47,252 --> 01:12:50,182
I thought you might like
a second helping.
1034
01:12:51,395 --> 01:12:52,195
Heidi!
1035
01:12:52,315 --> 01:12:54,633
For Chrissake
put your dress back on!
1036
01:12:54,753 --> 01:12:56,328
Come and sit next to me.
1037
01:12:56,537 --> 01:12:59,850
If it's too hot for you,
I can turn on the air conditioning.
1038
01:12:59,970 --> 01:13:03,929
I'm hot Bletch,
but not the way you think.
1039
01:13:04,641 --> 01:13:08,237
You're not feeling shy,
are you Bletch?
1040
01:13:10,453 --> 01:13:12,840
Do you remember that time
in Paris?
1041
01:13:13,144 --> 01:13:16,763
We didn't leave the hotel
for three whole days!
1042
01:13:16,963 --> 01:13:18,158
I remember all right.
1043
01:13:18,194 --> 01:13:20,718
I had to go to the hospital
with severe chafing.
1044
01:13:20,908 --> 01:13:21,984
Kiss me, Bletch!
1045
01:13:22,022 --> 01:13:25,032
Get away from me!
You shuddering mound of blubber!
1046
01:13:25,232 --> 01:13:27,837
Have you any idea
how revolting you look?
1047
01:13:28,047 --> 01:13:29,856
Bletch... no!
1048
01:13:29,976 --> 01:13:31,761
You disgust me!
Look at you!
1049
01:13:31,881 --> 01:13:35,352
You're old and you're fat...
and you smell bad...
1050
01:13:35,472 --> 01:13:36,466
No!
1051
01:13:36,586 --> 01:13:38,152
I was going to wait
till after the show...
1052
01:13:38,272 --> 01:13:39,743
but I might as well tell you now.
1053
01:13:39,863 --> 01:13:43,029
You're through with the Feebles!
I don't need you!
1054
01:13:43,149 --> 01:13:45,850
I've got a syndicated series...
1055
01:13:45,982 --> 01:13:48,588
and I'm grooming Samantha
to be the star.
1056
01:13:48,901 --> 01:13:49,736
No!
1057
01:13:49,861 --> 01:13:53,091
I hope you enjoyed tonight.
That was your last performance!
1058
01:13:53,472 --> 01:13:55,557
Now get out of here!
1059
01:14:30,871 --> 01:14:34,845
And now, someone
who needs no introduction.
1060
01:14:35,359 --> 01:14:38,730
Heeere's...
1061
01:14:38,850 --> 01:14:40,717
Harry!
1062
01:15:00,025 --> 01:15:02,139
Yipeeeee!
1063
01:15:06,006 --> 01:15:07,463
Oh shit!
1064
01:15:13,101 --> 01:15:16,133
Launch the carrot!
For God's sake launch the carrot!!
1065
01:15:18,893 --> 01:15:22,123
What am I going to do?
Oh my God!
1066
01:15:23,415 --> 01:15:25,908
Sidney, you're going to have
to fill in for a few minutes.
1067
01:15:26,028 --> 01:15:29,474
But... I've got to go to the toilet.
1068
01:15:29,594 --> 01:15:30,769
Improvise!
1069
01:15:30,889 --> 01:15:32,198
Improvise!
1070
01:15:32,737 --> 01:15:35,595
But I've got a really weak bladder!
1071
01:15:38,775 --> 01:15:39,801
Say something!
1072
01:15:40,095 --> 01:15:42,759
Go on, say something!
Anything!
1073
01:15:43,098 --> 01:15:47,142
The show is going really well,
I think.
1074
01:15:54,279 --> 01:15:56,173
Goodbye, Bletch.
1075
01:16:04,057 --> 01:16:06,912
We'll drop the barrel balancing act
and bring the knife throwing forward.
1076
01:16:07,032 --> 01:16:11,979
Where the hell is Wynyard?
Why isn't anybody listening to me?
1077
01:16:12,099 --> 01:16:15,612
And so without further ado
please give a big hand...
1078
01:16:15,732 --> 01:16:18,034
for our fabulous knife thrower.
1079
01:16:18,361 --> 01:16:19,648
Sidney!
1080
01:16:19,768 --> 01:16:21,614
Oh, no!
1081
01:16:21,734 --> 01:16:24,220
You philandering bastard!
1082
01:16:24,419 --> 01:16:27,987
Sandy, not in front of all the people!
1083
01:16:28,227 --> 01:16:30,750
What I have to say
I want the world to know.
1084
01:16:30,911 --> 01:16:33,332
He may look like
a lovable old pachyderm...
1085
01:16:33,452 --> 01:16:35,170
but he's a steaming great shit!
1086
01:16:35,290 --> 01:16:37,462
I don't believe it!
1087
01:16:46,632 --> 01:16:48,056
Goodbye life!
1088
01:16:48,787 --> 01:16:50,334
Hello death!
1089
01:17:10,486 --> 01:17:13,979
Hey Seb!
Good to see you, man.
1090
01:17:14,099 --> 01:17:17,095
Pull yourself together!
You're next up!
1091
01:17:17,777 --> 01:17:22,371
Have you ever noticed
the beautiful lighting in this toilet?
1092
01:17:23,095 --> 01:17:25,210
He used me to vent
his lustful passions...
1093
01:17:25,334 --> 01:17:27,707
but as soon as I was up the duff
it was another story.
1094
01:17:27,907 --> 01:17:31,093
He had his pleasure
and left me with this.
1095
01:17:31,213 --> 01:17:32,683
Dadda!
1096
01:17:32,742 --> 01:17:34,967
Seymour, run to Daddy.
1097
01:17:35,014 --> 01:17:36,918
Dadda! Dadda!
1098
01:17:37,038 --> 01:17:39,245
Oh, no!
Look, I've got to go.
1099
01:17:39,365 --> 01:17:41,432
I've got an urgent call of nature.
1100
01:17:41,552 --> 01:17:43,242
That's right, run away!
1101
01:17:43,362 --> 01:17:44,623
That's what you've always done.
1102
01:17:44,743 --> 01:17:48,803
You guttless scum! Turd!
You rapist! Creep!
1103
01:17:48,861 --> 01:17:51,854
I don't think I'm gonna make it!
1104
01:17:54,740 --> 01:17:57,784
Oh yes, a good conditioner
works wonders on my coat.
1105
01:17:57,904 --> 01:18:00,403
Oh no. Oh Sid, no!
1106
01:18:01,270 --> 01:18:03,437
Sorry guys.
I was bursting.
1107
01:18:03,557 --> 01:18:05,419
- Oh Sid!
- Disgusting!
1108
01:18:05,461 --> 01:18:07,285
You're supposed to wait
till it's all clear!
1109
01:18:07,335 --> 01:18:10,681
Thanks a lot, Sid!
I'm on in five minutes.
1110
01:18:18,020 --> 01:18:21,039
Goodbye life!
1111
01:18:31,902 --> 01:18:33,711
Oh, there it is!
1112
01:18:39,448 --> 01:18:42,511
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
1113
01:18:42,631 --> 01:18:44,467
Don't let me stop you.
1114
01:18:47,968 --> 01:18:51,035
I think you'll find
the safety catch is on.
1115
01:18:54,454 --> 01:18:59,142
Eat lead you man-stealing slut!
1116
01:19:15,504 --> 01:19:18,581
Oh yeah!
Hey, wow!
1117
01:19:18,701 --> 01:19:20,591
Amazing!
1118
01:19:26,017 --> 01:19:27,336
Bastard!
1119
01:19:30,700 --> 01:19:31,896
Bastard!
1120
01:19:37,927 --> 01:19:39,900
Where'd it go?
1121
01:19:47,294 --> 01:19:48,430
God.
1122
01:19:53,599 --> 01:19:56,501
That's it!
I'm left with no alternative!
1123
01:19:56,621 --> 01:20:00,799
I don't care what Bletch says.
We're doing my song!
1124
01:20:00,919 --> 01:20:04,700
It's up to me to save the show,
as usual.
1125
01:20:04,820 --> 01:20:07,689
All right, everybody!
As we rehearsed!
1126
01:20:07,809 --> 01:20:09,442
Ah, please God!
1127
01:20:09,564 --> 01:20:12,439
I know I've been a bad bunny...
1128
01:20:12,559 --> 01:20:16,931
but if you make me well again
I promise... promise...
1129
01:20:17,094 --> 01:20:20,178
I'll be good
for the rest of my life.
1130
01:20:21,770 --> 01:20:24,181
- What?
- Hi Harry.
1131
01:20:24,314 --> 01:20:26,599
I've just received your test results...
1132
01:20:26,719 --> 01:20:28,182
and guess what...
1133
01:20:28,401 --> 01:20:30,973
- I made a boo boo.
- A boo boo?
1134
01:20:31,093 --> 01:20:33,353
Yeah Harry.
You're in the clear.
1135
01:20:33,554 --> 01:20:36,345
You just got a bad case
of bunny pox.
1136
01:20:36,891 --> 01:20:40,697
Take two aspirins
and stay in bed for a week.
1137
01:20:41,259 --> 01:20:43,031
I'll send you my bill.
1138
01:20:43,707 --> 01:20:46,716
Yippeee!
1139
01:20:47,329 --> 01:20:48,792
Yippeeee!
1140
01:20:50,103 --> 01:20:51,700
I'm in the clear everybody!
1141
01:20:51,820 --> 01:20:54,595
I haven't got it!
I haven't got myxomatosis!
1142
01:20:54,715 --> 01:20:56,681
I haven't got myx...
1143
01:21:04,866 --> 01:21:07,243
He wouldn't dare!
1144
01:21:07,363 --> 01:21:10,062
Oh Christ, he's not!
1145
01:21:10,265 --> 01:21:12,494
Oh yes he is, boss.
1146
01:21:19,942 --> 01:21:21,551
♪ Sodomy... ♪
1147
01:21:21,671 --> 01:21:24,140
♪ ...you must think itvery odd of me... ♪
1148
01:21:24,260 --> 01:21:26,697
♪ ...that I enjoy the act of sodomy. ♪
1149
01:21:26,894 --> 01:21:29,408
♪ You might call the wrathof God on me... ♪
1150
01:21:29,539 --> 01:21:35,389
♪ ...but if you tried it then you might agreethat you enjoy the act of sodomy. ♪
1151
01:21:41,173 --> 01:21:45,206
♪ Don't worry if you feel ashamed.It's been around for years. ♪
1152
01:21:45,334 --> 01:21:48,931
♪ Thousands more than can be namedare interested in rears. ♪
1153
01:21:49,532 --> 01:21:51,675
♪ Don't worry about hell... ♪
1154
01:21:51,795 --> 01:21:53,913
♪ ...no harm will come to your soul. ♪
1155
01:21:54,033 --> 01:22:00,300
♪ We're not all Pentecostal,but everybody's got an arsehole. ♪
1156
01:22:00,729 --> 01:22:03,414
♪ Let me tell you about sodomy. ♪
1157
01:22:03,534 --> 01:22:05,990
♪ You must think it very odd of me... ♪
1158
01:22:06,110 --> 01:22:08,856
♪ ...that I enjoy the act of sodomy. ♪
1159
01:22:08,976 --> 01:22:11,559
♪ You might call the wrath of Godon me... ♪
1160
01:22:11,686 --> 01:22:17,543
♪ ...but if you tried it then you might agreethat you enjoy the act of sodomy. ♪
1161
01:22:18,001 --> 01:22:21,790
♪ It might just improve your sex,it's a hard act to follow. ♪
1162
01:22:21,838 --> 01:22:25,678
♪ A fact that fundamentalistsfind difficult to swallow. ♪
1163
01:22:27,196 --> 01:22:29,635
♪ So join me as I sing... ♪
1164
01:22:29,755 --> 01:22:32,368
♪ ...of an activity that's fun. ♪
1165
01:22:32,488 --> 01:22:37,551
♪ Open up your ringand try it front to bum. ♪
1166
01:22:37,671 --> 01:22:40,475
♪ Bum, bum, bum, bum... ♪
1167
01:22:40,595 --> 01:22:42,212
♪ Sodomy... ♪
1168
01:22:42,332 --> 01:22:44,936
♪ ...you must think it very odd of me... ♪
1169
01:22:45,056 --> 01:22:47,907
♪ ...that I enjoy the act of sodomy. ♪
1170
01:22:48,027 --> 01:22:50,672
♪ You might call the wrath of Godon me... ♪
1171
01:22:50,792 --> 01:22:58,770
♪ but if you tried it then you might agreethat you enjoy the act of sodomy. ♪
1172
01:23:01,510 --> 01:23:03,272
♪ Sodomy! ♪
1173
01:23:17,214 --> 01:23:18,829
- Trevor.
- Yes boss?
1174
01:23:18,949 --> 01:23:22,575
I want that fudge-packer eliminated.
1175
01:23:29,362 --> 01:23:31,435
Now put that gun down Heidi.
1176
01:23:31,555 --> 01:23:34,951
You're not solving anything
by massacring people.
1177
01:23:41,638 --> 01:23:44,834
♪ Meet the Feeblesmeet the Feebles... ♪
1178
01:23:44,957 --> 01:23:47,917
♪ We're not your average ordinary people... ♪
1179
01:23:48,037 --> 01:23:52,191
♪ Meet the Feebles,meet the Feebles... ♪
1180
01:23:55,368 --> 01:23:57,036
Jesus!
1181
01:24:23,954 --> 01:24:25,183
My God!
1182
01:24:25,221 --> 01:24:26,926
Oh God no!
1183
01:25:09,706 --> 01:25:11,048
Seymour!
1184
01:25:11,668 --> 01:25:13,045
Seymour!
1185
01:25:14,992 --> 01:25:19,427
I'm coming!
Seymour!
1186
01:25:25,006 --> 01:25:26,345
Daddy...
1187
01:25:28,216 --> 01:25:30,790
Daddy's here, Seymour!
1188
01:25:31,681 --> 01:25:33,595
Seymour!
1189
01:25:40,035 --> 01:25:42,350
- Daddy!
- Seymour!
1190
01:26:14,852 --> 01:26:17,147
I don't care what you've done,
Lucille.
1191
01:26:17,267 --> 01:26:19,261
I love you so very very much...
1192
01:26:19,381 --> 01:26:21,170
and I want you to marry me.
1193
01:26:21,290 --> 01:26:24,893
Oh Robert, I love you too!
1194
01:26:25,013 --> 01:26:27,417
I was never unfaithful,
it was Trevor.
1195
01:26:27,537 --> 01:26:30,380
He drugged my drink
and tried to ravish me.
1196
01:26:30,895 --> 01:26:32,478
The dirty rat!
1197
01:26:33,885 --> 01:26:35,033
Christ!
1198
01:26:36,764 --> 01:26:37,832
Heidi!
1199
01:26:40,623 --> 01:26:42,087
Put the gun down!
1200
01:27:18,074 --> 01:27:21,251
Heidi, for God's sake!
1201
01:27:25,529 --> 01:27:29,486
Heidi, I still love you!
1202
01:27:35,517 --> 01:27:37,009
Bletch...
1203
01:27:48,287 --> 01:27:50,306
Kill her, Trevor!
1204
01:27:50,515 --> 01:27:52,676
It’ll be a pleasure, boss.
1205
01:27:53,363 --> 01:27:55,204
You rotter!
1206
01:28:16,123 --> 01:28:17,876
Oh shit!
1207
01:28:34,906 --> 01:28:38,059
Miss Heidi,
I know you're a real star and all that...
1208
01:28:38,087 --> 01:28:41,944
but I'm afraid I'm going to
have to dob you in.
1209
01:28:43,968 --> 01:28:46,947
Could you do
one last thing for me, Arthur?
1210
01:28:48,136 --> 01:28:49,993
Anything, Miss Heidi.
1211
01:28:52,583 --> 01:28:54,962
Play "The Garden of Love".
1212
01:29:03,484 --> 01:29:06,509
♪ On a magic night... ♪
1213
01:29:08,057 --> 01:29:11,072
♪ ...when the way you feel... ♪
1214
01:29:12,296 --> 01:29:15,207
♪ ...is a mystery... ♪
1215
01:29:16,175 --> 01:29:19,246
♪ ...it will be revealed. ♪
1216
01:29:20,013 --> 01:29:23,607
♪ Could be an angel... ♪
1217
01:29:24,001 --> 01:29:27,121
♪ ...from up above... ♪
1218
01:29:28,131 --> 01:29:31,547
♪ ...with a flower from a garden... ♪
1219
01:29:31,766 --> 01:29:36,728
♪ ...a garden of love. ♪
1220
01:29:39,567 --> 01:29:44,924
♪ Garden of love. ♪
91037
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof