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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:12,844 "In most cases, an antifungal cream will stop the athlete's foot from recurring. 2 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:17,884 Unless, of course, a secondary yeast infection develops." 3 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:21,948 - The end. - Read me another one, Uncle Steve. 4 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:26,817 Oh, I too, as a tyke, loved Dr. Fink's Guide To Fungus. 5 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,425 Good lad. 6 00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:33,262 - Hi, guys. - Oh, howdy-doody, Judy. 7 00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:39,036 - So you guys are hanging out together? - Yeah, we're best buds. 8 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,199 Right-a-roonie. Well, gotta dash. 9 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:46,143 I'm speaking at a protest meeting. Save The Roaches. 10 00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:49,806 Ew! Why do you wanna save roaches? They're disgusting. 11 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,776 Judy, roaches are just misunderstood. 12 00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:55,684 In fact, roaches are highly resourceful. 13 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,587 They can appear anywhere. Ooh. 14 00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:01,551 Gotcha. 15 00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:53,634 Well, my little daffodil, how do you like your gift? 16 00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,239 Uh... 17 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,744 Steve. 18 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:06,018 Why did you give me this...? 19 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:09,750 This... This. 20 00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:18,829 Because I love you, love you... Love you. 21 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,343 - Is Dad home? - No. 22 00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:31,978 - Is Mom home? - Nope. 23 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:36,447 Okay, good. I have a few more hours to live. 24 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:40,143 - Well, what's wrong, Eddo? - I dented the car. 25 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,447 Oh, land sakes alive, man. 26 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:47,651 A few months ago you rammed the car through the living room. 27 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,486 And now this. 28 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:53,327 How in Sam Hill did you ever get your license? 29 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,968 Beats me. 30 00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,568 Well, how much damage did you do? 31 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,704 I got an estimate. Eight hundred bucks. 32 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,175 How am I gonna get my hands on that kind of cash? 33 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:09,180 - Why don't you just fess up? - Why don't you just get real? 34 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,175 Fine, Eddie. 35 00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:15,117 Do what you always do. Fall into a hole and dig it deeper. 36 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:17,985 But don't be surprised when it turns out to be your grave. 37 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:23,197 Here, put this on your headstone. 38 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,300 Steve, Steve. 39 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:32,297 By any chance would you happen to have some spare cash? 40 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:37,039 Well, gee, Eddo, if you had only screwed up yesterday. 41 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:41,573 This morning I spent all my money on a high-powered microscope. 42 00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:44,946 I'm dying to see what I sneeze. 43 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:48,553 Well, can't you take it back? 44 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,891 Nope, once it leaves the nose, it's gone for good. 45 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:59,723 Uh. No, uh, I meant... Never mind. 46 00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:05,071 Well, Eddo, if you're really desperate for cash, you could always... 47 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,763 Nah. 48 00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:09,070 What? 49 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,846 Well, I do know a quick way you can make... 50 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,447 Nah. 51 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,683 What, Steve? 52 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,348 Well, have you ever been to Mom's Bakery? 53 00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:24,491 Yeah, they've got killer cookies. 54 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,251 That's not all they've got. 55 00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:29,954 Mom's Bakery is a front for an illegal gambling casino. 56 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,967 Well, how do you know all about this? 57 00:05:32,991 --> 00:05:35,868 My Uncle Cecil used to play roulette there. 58 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:37,901 Used to? 59 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,403 Did he lose all of his money? 60 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,238 He won too much. 61 00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:49,975 You see, whereas most people lose at gambling, we Urkels possess a sixth sense. 62 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:53,882 When it comes to games of chance, we never ever lose. 63 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,386 - Let's go to that casino. - Aah! 64 00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:57,888 You can help me win the money I need to fix the car. 65 00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:01,756 Except for one big problem. It's illegal. 66 00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:04,693 Verboten, a no-no. 67 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,792 That's true, Steve. 68 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:14,573 But it's just that if we did this together, we'd... 69 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,209 Nah. 70 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,009 What? 71 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:28,815 Well, guys who take risks together usually end up becoming real good friends. 72 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,515 You know, hang out a lot. 73 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:34,853 Best buds? 74 00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:37,889 Exactly. 75 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:42,764 But like you said, it's illegal. 76 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:46,771 Yes, this could be the first step on a road to the life of crime. 77 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,173 Ah, what the heck. 78 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:54,077 - So you'll do it, buddy? - Count me in, pal. 79 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:57,217 Ha, ha. Great, I'll pick you up at 8 tonight. 80 00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:58,647 I'll be ready, Eddie. 81 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,687 Oh, I gotta hurry home and look at this. 82 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,503 How was the funeral? 83 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,209 Now, Rachel, calm down. 84 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,453 I'm sorry, Harriette. 85 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:38,115 - It's just so sad. - I know, I know. 86 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,590 Aunt Clotilda was family. 87 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,729 She was our flesh and blood. 88 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:47,561 And now she's gone. 89 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:53,172 I really wish I had met her. 90 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,075 Me too, me too. 91 00:07:56,242 --> 00:08:00,839 But, Rachel, remember, Aunt Clotilda was 94 years old. 92 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,108 She lived a long, full life. 93 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,683 Well, how did she die? 94 00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,282 Well, she was at the senior citizen center... 95 00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:10,913 and she collapsed while she was leading a game of Simon Says. 96 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,390 I'm sorry. 97 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:22,761 When the paramedics got there, they thought 67 people had died. 98 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,703 Rachel. 99 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:32,675 Excuse me. But what's this? 100 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,448 That's Aunt Clotilda. 101 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:44,253 She asked to be cremated and have her ashes scattered over Lake Michigan. 102 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,893 So we're gonna rent a boat and do it tonight. 103 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,188 She doesn't have any other relatives? 104 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:51,755 Only an older sister. 105 00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:56,528 But she popped a kneecap during the Simon Says fiasco. 106 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,465 Oh, we'd better start making the arrangements. 107 00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:06,306 Mother Winslow, maybe you can help Rachel with some tea. 108 00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:12,743 - Mother Winslow. - What, honey? 109 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,881 When you... 110 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:20,522 - When you... - Bite the big one? 111 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,923 Right. 112 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,424 Would you rather be buried or cremated? 113 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,532 Surprise me. 114 00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,771 Hi, I'm home. 115 00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,074 Oh. 116 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,649 Mm. 117 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,688 Hey, what do have we here? New candy jar? 118 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,361 Ooh. 119 00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,966 - Hey, Dad. - Oh! Oh, no. 120 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:10,409 - Now, look what you made me do. - Sorry, Dad. 121 00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:14,378 Oh, I got ashes all over the new candy jar. 122 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,674 Oh. 123 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,643 Oh! And inside too. 124 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:54,253 - Yeah? - Uh, we're here to gamble. 125 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,850 What's the password? 126 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,656 Oh, right. 127 00:10:58,825 --> 00:10:59,986 Roses are red. 128 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,720 - Violets are blue. - Sugar is sweet. 129 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,888 - But, as, as... - Not, sweet, you. 130 00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:25,112 - Thanks for the bear claw, Mom. - Any time, sweetie. 131 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,918 Hey, you owe me a buck. 132 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,985 Steve, look at this place. 133 00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:38,149 We might be in a little over our heads here. 134 00:11:38,173 --> 00:11:39,932 Yeah, maybe, but we're stuck. 135 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:44,862 - How come? - Well, I forgot the password to get out. 136 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:50,536 Look, just pretend like we belong here. Kind of like what I do in my house. 137 00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,652 Do you really need a cabin cruiser for three hours? 138 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,752 If all you're gonna do is complain about how expensive this is, just stay home. 139 00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,050 Oh, all right. 140 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,560 - You're gonna stop complaining? - No, I'm gonna stay home. 141 00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:15,932 I mean, you gotta go down to the mortuary and pick up Aunt Mofloppy anyway. 142 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,704 I hate those places. They give me the heebie-jeebies. 143 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:22,466 We don't have to go pick up Aunt Clotilda. She's right here. 144 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,110 Wait a minute. 145 00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:33,275 Isn't that a candy jar? 146 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,915 No, it's an urn. 147 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,585 An urn? 148 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,488 Yeah, Aunt Clotilda is in there. 149 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,196 What? 150 00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:47,196 This is the urn they put her ashes in. 151 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,566 Oh, no. Oh, damn. 152 00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:56,073 - Oh, no. - What's wrong? 153 00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:57,369 It just hit me. 154 00:12:57,543 --> 00:13:03,676 I suddenly realized how much Aunt Clobubba meant to me. 155 00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:06,612 Clotilda. 156 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,551 Clotilda, Clobubba, the point is she's gone. 157 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,221 Really, really gone. 158 00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:16,995 Uh... I've changed my mind. 159 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,059 I wanna go with you all. 160 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:20,962 I wanna pay my respects. 161 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,193 You ladies, go ahead. 162 00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:24,530 I need a moment alone with, uh... With... 163 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,366 With this. 164 00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,934 I'm sorry. Lord... 165 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:02,606 Lord, forgive me if I come up a foot short. 166 00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:09,807 Sorry. 167 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:24,361 Steve, it's been a half an hour. We haven't played anything. 168 00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:29,594 Well, actually, Eddie, I'm just not quite sure what to do. 169 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,227 Wait a minute. 170 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:34,897 You told me that all Urkels possess a sixth sense when it comes to gambling. 171 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,399 Oh, yes. 172 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:40,343 Although I never had an opportunity to test that ability out. 173 00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:43,278 But I'm sure it's just a matter of time until it kicks in. 174 00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:47,779 - How long? - It just kicked in. 175 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,484 Oh. 176 00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,021 Focusing energy. 177 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,793 Nah, nothing. 178 00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:18,150 Nothing. 179 00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:20,877 Whoa, mama. 180 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,952 Eddie, I think this is the one. 181 00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,148 Feed this baby. 182 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:39,369 Ha-ha-ha. Steve, we hit the jackpot. 183 00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:44,668 Ah! A guy could get used to this. 184 00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,636 Mama's in the parlor, Daddy's in the den 185 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,477 Little Baby Susan is spitting up again 186 00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:53,849 The dog's at the vet The kitty's up a tree 187 00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,615 Me and my hamster Are playing Monopoly 188 00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:58,483 Grandma's in the attic 189 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,889 Grandma's in the den Gotta make the money 190 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,660 Shoot. 191 00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:04,553 Shooting. 192 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,858 Seven! Winner! 193 00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,058 All right, baby! 194 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:15,999 Yeah, I knew you could do it, Steve. 195 00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,207 Uh, it's your bet, sir. 196 00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,580 Let it ride. 197 00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:25,484 Steve! Steve! Steve! 198 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,847 Steve! Steve! Steve! 199 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,457 Four! Winner! ALL: Yeah! 200 00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:37,655 Thank you. 201 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,958 No, thank you. 202 00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:45,161 Steve. Steve, relax. 203 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,603 Excuse me, sir. How much have we won? 204 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,904 Thirty-two grand. 205 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,279 - Thanks. - Thanks. 206 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,507 Yeah. 207 00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:59,884 Yeah, thirty-two grand. Ha-ha-ha. 208 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:03,921 - Now, where were we? - Uh, it's still your bet, sir. 209 00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:07,150 Let her ride. 210 00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:14,165 He's kidding, we're going home. 211 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,661 Eddie, relax. 212 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:21,138 For the last time, absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing, can stop us now. 213 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:24,143 Freeze. This is a raid. 214 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,235 Except that. 215 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:35,384 Rachel, try to control yourself. 216 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,751 I will, I will. 217 00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:42,055 It's over now, Rach. Aunt Clotilda's at peace. 218 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,493 I know, I know. 219 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:49,364 Uh, Harriette, can I speak to you for a moment? Alone. 220 00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,166 What is it, Carl? 221 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,036 Well, I have a... 222 00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,305 I got a little confession to make. 223 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:05,017 - Maybe you'd better sit down for this one. - What have you done this time? 224 00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,953 Harriette. 225 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:18,890 Darling, sweetheart, honeybunch. Ha-ha-ha. 226 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:22,331 - Spit it out, Carl. - Okay, here goes. 227 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:26,398 Well, we didn't really spread your aunt's ashes over Lake Michigan tonight. 228 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,366 Carl, I was there, I saw it. 229 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:30,805 Well, I know, I know. 230 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,208 Uh, we spread some ashes. 231 00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:38,545 Uh, but they weren't your Aunt Clotilda's, at least not all of them. 232 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,311 Well, then whose ashes were they? 233 00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:44,887 Aunt Presto log's. 234 00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:49,054 Well, we... We... 235 00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:52,130 We may have floated parts of Aunt Clotilda. 236 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:57,202 But which part? Well, only the good Lord can sift that out. 237 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,301 Well, where's the rest of her? 238 00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:03,205 Right over there in that hefty bag. 239 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,352 Harriette, it was all a crazy accident. 240 00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:15,613 I feel terrible about it. 241 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,484 Uh, I wanna make it up to you. 242 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:21,452 - How? - Well... 243 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:24,529 I know, I'll pop for another hour's boat rental... 244 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:28,134 and we'll all go out and throw the bag over, huh? Sounds good? 245 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,937 Oh, I'll get that. You've had a rough day. 246 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:34,437 Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. 247 00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:40,572 Hello? Edward. 248 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,442 Sure, I got a moment. What's up? 249 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,383 You're where? 250 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,483 Carl, what's wrong? 251 00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,482 Edward is in jail. 252 00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:55,492 - What happened? - He and Steve got busted for gambling. 253 00:20:03,302 --> 00:20:05,931 Now, Edward, stop looking around for Steve. 254 00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:09,303 He's having the same discussion with his father. 255 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:12,376 Now, let me get this straight. 256 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,810 You dented the car. 257 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:19,350 Then instead of admitting it, you got yourself involved in gambling. 258 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:20,679 Does that about cover it? 259 00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:22,711 Yes, sir. 260 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,784 Sit down, Edward. 261 00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:36,731 Edward Arthur Winslow. 262 00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:40,539 Son, I am ashamed of you. 263 00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:43,699 Don't you know that when you make a mistake, you fess up to it? 264 00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:47,040 Trying to cover it up only makes things worse. 265 00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:48,842 Yes, sir. 266 00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:54,814 But apparently, you seem to wanna learn these things the hard way. 267 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:56,546 Well, so be it. 268 00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:58,418 You're grounded for three weeks. 269 00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:04,389 And you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. 270 00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:07,158 Okay, hit the sack. 271 00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:13,839 Well, that's taken care of. 272 00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:18,474 Now, let me get this straight. 273 00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:25,942 You dumped one of my relatives in a hefty bag. 274 00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:32,659 Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log on Lake Michigan. 275 00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:36,925 - Does that about cover it? - Yes, ma'am. 276 00:21:39,698 --> 00:21:41,530 Sit down, Carl. 277 00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,705 Carl. 278 00:21:56,982 --> 00:22:01,443 Carl Otis Winslow, I'm ashamed of you. 279 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:04,886 When you make a mistake, fess up to it. 280 00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:08,858 Trying to cover up only makes things worse. 281 00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:11,424 Yes, ma'am. 282 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:17,629 But apparently, you seem to wanna learn these things the hard way. 283 00:22:17,803 --> 00:22:20,068 So be it. 284 00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:24,572 You're taking me to dinner to Chez Josephine's. 285 00:22:24,743 --> 00:22:28,202 - Yes, ma'am. - Okay. 286 00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,611 - Let's hit the sack. - Yes, ma'am. 19486

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