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1
00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:09,431
Captioning made possible by
the U.S. Department of education
2
00:00:59,531 --> 00:01:02,931
"She walks in beauty
like the night
3
00:01:02,931 --> 00:01:04,664
"Of cloudless...
4
00:01:05,698 --> 00:01:07,298
"She walks in beauty...
5
00:01:08,964 --> 00:01:10,564
like the night..."
6
00:01:10,564 --> 00:01:12,264
I'm so embarrassed
7
00:01:12,264 --> 00:01:15,364
to stumble in front of
my former professor.
8
00:01:15,364 --> 00:01:16,631
Heathcliff...
9
00:01:16,631 --> 00:01:18,931
if you can't remember
something So elementary
10
00:01:18,931 --> 00:01:21,664
then all my years
of teaching at Hillman
11
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,298
will have been wasted.
12
00:01:23,298 --> 00:01:24,364
I know it.
13
00:01:24,364 --> 00:01:25,764
"She walks...
14
00:01:25,764 --> 00:01:28,331
"She walks in beauty...
15
00:01:28,331 --> 00:01:30,264
She walks..."
16
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:32,231
cliff, let the
woman sit down.
17
00:01:32,231 --> 00:01:34,331
She's been walking
a long time.
18
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,298
No, I know the poem.
19
00:01:39,298 --> 00:01:41,564
What time is your
lecture at rutgers?
20
00:01:41,564 --> 00:01:43,331
Tomorrow afternoon at 3:00.
21
00:01:43,331 --> 00:01:45,998
If you're waiting for cliff
to remember this poem
22
00:01:45,998 --> 00:01:48,064
call them to say
you'll be late.
23
00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:49,764
"She walks...
24
00:01:52,331 --> 00:01:54,564
"in beauty
like the night
25
00:01:54,564 --> 00:01:56,598
"Of cloudless climes
and starry skies
26
00:01:56,598 --> 00:01:58,431
"And everywhere
that Mary went
27
00:01:58,431 --> 00:01:59,731
the Lamb was sure..."
28
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,498
I'm sorry.
29
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,631
Wrong and
pathetic.
30
00:02:05,631 --> 00:02:08,931
Professor, would you
please tell my wife
31
00:02:08,931 --> 00:02:10,831
what grade
32
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,731
I got in
your class?
33
00:02:12,731 --> 00:02:15,098
If my memory serves correctly
34
00:02:15,098 --> 00:02:17,331
heathcliff received an "a".
35
00:02:17,331 --> 00:02:20,498
would you please tell
everyone in this room
36
00:02:20,498 --> 00:02:24,998
what grade Clair Olivia Hanks
received?
37
00:02:24,998 --> 00:02:27,664
A student's grade
is confidential.
38
00:02:29,864 --> 00:02:32,064
It was a "B"!
39
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:35,064
Well, cliff, you may
have received an "a"
40
00:02:35,064 --> 00:02:36,131
But...
41
00:02:36,131 --> 00:02:39,131
"She walks in beauty
like the night
42
00:02:39,131 --> 00:02:41,731
"Of cloudless climes
and starry skies
43
00:02:41,731 --> 00:02:44,098
"And all that's best
of dark and bright
44
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:46,564
"Meet in her aspect
and her eyes
45
00:02:46,564 --> 00:02:49,231
"Thus mellowed
to that tender light
46
00:02:49,231 --> 00:02:53,331
which heaven to
gaudy day denies."
47
00:02:53,331 --> 00:02:54,831
Beautiful.
48
00:02:54,831 --> 00:02:56,331
Now...
49
00:02:56,331 --> 00:02:58,098
deal with that!
50
00:02:59,731 --> 00:03:01,698
Don't even
think about it.
51
00:03:01,698 --> 00:03:04,931
( ring )
52
00:03:04,931 --> 00:03:06,364
Hello?
53
00:03:06,364 --> 00:03:07,531
Hey, Chuck.
54
00:03:07,531 --> 00:03:08,864
You're kidding?
55
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,164
Really bad, huh?
56
00:03:11,164 --> 00:03:13,898
So you won't be able
to play tonight?
57
00:03:13,898 --> 00:03:14,898
No.
58
00:03:14,898 --> 00:03:16,831
Stay home and
take it easy.
59
00:03:16,831 --> 00:03:17,864
We'll play cutthroat.
60
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:18,864
Bye-Bye.
61
00:03:18,864 --> 00:03:20,264
What's wrong?
62
00:03:20,264 --> 00:03:22,298
Chuck is coming down
with the flu.
63
00:03:22,298 --> 00:03:24,298
He can't play
pinochle tonight.
64
00:03:24,298 --> 00:03:26,898
If it's okay,
I'll be your partner.
65
00:03:26,898 --> 00:03:28,598
You play pinochle?
Yes.
66
00:03:28,598 --> 00:03:30,264
I'm a very good player.
67
00:03:30,264 --> 00:03:31,364
Really?
68
00:03:31,364 --> 00:03:34,131
It was I who put
the "P" in pinochle.
69
00:03:36,698 --> 00:03:37,864
Dr. Foster
70
00:03:37,864 --> 00:03:40,531
you've never seen
a game like this one.
71
00:03:40,531 --> 00:03:41,598
Once a month
72
00:03:41,598 --> 00:03:44,231
cliff's father
and his friend Homer
73
00:03:44,231 --> 00:03:46,231
come over to destroy
cliff and Chuck.
74
00:03:46,231 --> 00:03:49,864
In five years, they have
not won a single game.
75
00:03:49,864 --> 00:03:51,831
I'd love to play
against these men.
76
00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:52,798
I don't think so.
77
00:03:52,798 --> 00:03:53,598
I would.
78
00:03:53,598 --> 00:03:54,531
You don't understand.
79
00:03:54,531 --> 00:03:55,998
For instance, in pinochle
80
00:03:55,998 --> 00:03:58,364
when you turn
all of the tricks, it's...
81
00:03:58,364 --> 00:03:59,864
called a "Head rub."
82
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:01,964
Well, my father and Homer
83
00:04:01,964 --> 00:04:04,931
don't say,
"Consider yourself rubbed."
84
00:04:04,931 --> 00:04:07,664
These fellows
actually rub your head?
85
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,431
They just don't rub,
dr. Foster--
86
00:04:10,431 --> 00:04:11,531
they polish...
87
00:04:11,531 --> 00:04:12,698
they buff...
88
00:04:13,698 --> 00:04:15,231
they wax...
89
00:04:15,231 --> 00:04:16,731
and they cheat.
90
00:04:22,764 --> 00:04:23,831
Mail.
91
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:24,998
Anything for me?
92
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,198
Nope.
93
00:04:27,198 --> 00:04:28,031
Who's the package for?
94
00:04:28,031 --> 00:04:29,631
"Mr. Theodore huxtable."
95
00:04:29,631 --> 00:04:30,664
open it.
96
00:04:30,664 --> 00:04:32,998
Now, Rudy,
how would you like it
97
00:04:32,998 --> 00:04:34,564
if somebody opened your mail?
98
00:04:34,564 --> 00:04:36,964
I never get any.
99
00:04:36,964 --> 00:04:39,198
"Grandstone Merchandising."
100
00:04:39,198 --> 00:04:40,364
Hmm...
101
00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:42,864
doesn't make any noise.
102
00:04:42,864 --> 00:04:43,831
Smell it.
103
00:04:46,731 --> 00:04:48,898
It just smells like mail.
104
00:04:48,898 --> 00:04:49,631
Drop it.
105
00:04:50,698 --> 00:04:54,264
Now I refuse
to drop this package.
106
00:04:54,264 --> 00:04:55,498
I will.
107
00:04:55,498 --> 00:04:56,631
Freeze!
108
00:04:56,631 --> 00:04:58,531
Is that my package?
109
00:04:58,531 --> 00:04:59,564
What package?
110
00:04:59,564 --> 00:05:01,064
It's your
package, Theo.
111
00:05:01,064 --> 00:05:02,298
Thanks.
All right!
112
00:05:02,298 --> 00:05:04,364
Vanessa:
What is it?
113
00:05:04,364 --> 00:05:05,031
It's personal.
114
00:05:13,598 --> 00:05:15,364
( knocking )
115
00:05:15,364 --> 00:05:16,498
Who is it?
116
00:05:16,498 --> 00:05:17,498
Denise.
117
00:05:17,498 --> 00:05:18,531
What do you want?
118
00:05:18,531 --> 00:05:19,631
I'm returning
your hat.
119
00:05:19,631 --> 00:05:20,698
Okay, come in.
120
00:05:20,698 --> 00:05:22,998
Thank you for
letting me wear it.
121
00:05:22,998 --> 00:05:23,998
You're welcome.
122
00:05:25,064 --> 00:05:27,164
What's that?
123
00:05:27,164 --> 00:05:27,964
Can you keep
a secret?
124
00:05:27,964 --> 00:05:28,964
Sure.
125
00:05:28,964 --> 00:05:30,098
Close the door.
126
00:05:30,098 --> 00:05:32,398
I got Tanya something.
127
00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:33,531
Ooh, Tanya.
128
00:05:33,531 --> 00:05:35,498
You two becoming
a thing?
129
00:05:35,498 --> 00:05:37,431
I've seen her
for a while
130
00:05:37,431 --> 00:05:38,698
and I like her.
131
00:05:38,698 --> 00:05:40,598
Did you buy
her a ring?
132
00:05:40,598 --> 00:05:41,598
You'll see.
133
00:05:41,598 --> 00:05:43,498
You bought her
a ring!
134
00:05:43,498 --> 00:05:44,298
Keep it down!
135
00:05:44,298 --> 00:05:46,164
Let me
see it.
136
00:05:47,731 --> 00:05:49,198
All right!
137
00:05:50,298 --> 00:05:52,731
It's beautiful, isn't it?
138
00:05:57,464 --> 00:05:59,364
Yeah, it's something.
139
00:05:59,364 --> 00:06:04,564
How much do you think you have
to pay for a ring like this?
140
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:06,031
Uh...
141
00:06:07,198 --> 00:06:08,531
two hundred dollars?
142
00:06:08,531 --> 00:06:10,598
Well...
143
00:06:10,598 --> 00:06:11,798
three hundred?
144
00:06:11,798 --> 00:06:16,098
Theo, I have no idea
what I'd pay for that.
145
00:06:16,098 --> 00:06:18,264
You'd never believe it.
146
00:06:18,264 --> 00:06:23,331
I got this ring
for only $19.95.
147
00:06:23,331 --> 00:06:25,531
It's from one of
those tv commercials?
148
00:06:25,531 --> 00:06:28,931
Yup, and it comes with
a money-back guarantee
149
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:31,231
if I'm not
fully delighted.
150
00:06:31,231 --> 00:06:32,598
Theo...
151
00:06:32,598 --> 00:06:34,431
these aren't even real diamonds.
152
00:06:34,431 --> 00:06:36,498
The commercial calls them
"Diamondnoids."
153
00:06:36,498 --> 00:06:40,998
Yeah, but they're as close
to Real diamonds as you can get.
154
00:06:40,998 --> 00:06:43,764
They've been popular
in Europe for years
155
00:06:43,764 --> 00:06:48,264
and now they're finally
available in this country.
156
00:06:48,264 --> 00:06:51,764
Theo, there's no way
Tanya Will think these are real.
157
00:06:51,764 --> 00:06:53,964
There isn't?
158
00:06:53,964 --> 00:06:54,531
No. They don't look it.
159
00:06:54,531 --> 00:06:55,731
I guess.
160
00:06:55,731 --> 00:06:58,664
But it's the thought
that counts, right?
161
00:06:58,664 --> 00:07:00,164
Right.
162
00:07:00,164 --> 00:07:02,331
Did it come with
Anything else
163
00:07:02,331 --> 00:07:04,598
like a necklace
or a bracelet?
164
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:07,898
No, but they're sending
a bamboo steamer.
165
00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:14,031
Now, Dr. Foster
166
00:07:14,031 --> 00:07:16,731
before my father
and Homer arrive
167
00:07:16,731 --> 00:07:19,298
we should work out
some signals.
168
00:07:19,298 --> 00:07:21,064
"Oh, what a tangled web
we weave
169
00:07:21,064 --> 00:07:23,364
when first we practice
to deceive."
170
00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:26,431
Do you want to win?
171
00:07:26,431 --> 00:07:27,564
Yes.
172
00:07:27,564 --> 00:07:29,698
But fairly and squarely.
173
00:07:29,698 --> 00:07:33,164
You're dealing with
the James boys.
174
00:07:33,164 --> 00:07:36,164
This is Frank and Jesse.
175
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:39,564
Well, I'd rather lose
as a gentleman
176
00:07:39,564 --> 00:07:41,498
than win as a scoundrel.
177
00:07:41,498 --> 00:07:45,864
You'll get the rest
of your hair rubbed off.
178
00:07:46,764 --> 00:07:47,764
Hey, dad.
179
00:07:47,764 --> 00:07:48,764
How you
doing?
180
00:07:48,764 --> 00:07:49,764
Dr. Foster.
181
00:07:49,764 --> 00:07:51,364
Could I
talk to you?
182
00:07:51,364 --> 00:07:52,498
Is it about money?
183
00:07:52,498 --> 00:07:53,098
No.
184
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,031
Let's go.
185
00:07:56,364 --> 00:07:57,498
I want to show you something.
186
00:07:57,498 --> 00:07:59,198
When you see it, I want
your honest reaction.
187
00:07:59,198 --> 00:08:00,998
Just tell me
what you think.
188
00:08:08,498 --> 00:08:09,731
You want my reaction?
189
00:08:09,731 --> 00:08:11,098
Yes.
190
00:08:11,098 --> 00:08:13,164
$19.95.
191
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,264
How did you know?
192
00:08:19,264 --> 00:08:21,064
It's "Diamondnoids."
193
00:08:21,064 --> 00:08:23,331
I saw it on television.
194
00:08:23,331 --> 00:08:25,331
When do you ever
watch wrestling?
195
00:08:25,331 --> 00:08:26,564
It wasn't wrestling.
196
00:08:26,564 --> 00:08:29,164
It was 4:00 a.M.
I was watching an old movie.
197
00:08:29,164 --> 00:08:30,431
Who is
it for?
198
00:08:30,431 --> 00:08:31,431
Tanya.
199
00:08:31,431 --> 00:08:32,431
Tanya.
200
00:08:32,431 --> 00:08:33,831
Is it her birthday?
201
00:08:33,831 --> 00:08:34,698
No.
202
00:08:34,698 --> 00:08:35,531
Christmas?
203
00:08:35,531 --> 00:08:36,898
No, just for friendship.
204
00:08:36,898 --> 00:08:40,664
You don't want her
for a friend very long, do you?
205
00:08:40,664 --> 00:08:41,664
Just kidding.
206
00:08:41,664 --> 00:08:43,298
I shouldn't
give her the ring?
207
00:08:43,298 --> 00:08:48,231
You should bring her in here
during the wrestling match--
208
00:08:48,231 --> 00:08:50,764
you know, when they put
the commercial on?
209
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,698
And if
she says
210
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,264
"Oh, that looks Nice!"
211
00:08:54,264 --> 00:08:57,731
then you go in your pocket
and say, "Here you go."
212
00:08:57,731 --> 00:08:59,598
No, I'm
serious.
( doorbell )
213
00:09:00,631 --> 00:09:01,598
Hey, grandpa.
214
00:09:01,598 --> 00:09:02,764
Theo!
215
00:09:02,764 --> 00:09:03,931
Hey, Mr. Dobson.
216
00:09:03,931 --> 00:09:04,931
You look sharp.
217
00:09:04,931 --> 00:09:06,431
Thanks.
I've got a date.
218
00:09:06,431 --> 00:09:08,098
Then you want
to take off.
219
00:09:08,098 --> 00:09:09,164
See you later.
220
00:09:09,164 --> 00:09:11,298
Wrestling at 9:00!
221
00:09:11,298 --> 00:09:13,464
Hey, son.
222
00:09:13,464 --> 00:09:14,464
Dad, how
are you?
223
00:09:14,464 --> 00:09:17,264
No, don't rub
my head already!
224
00:09:17,264 --> 00:09:18,764
How you
doing?
225
00:09:18,764 --> 00:09:20,098
No!
226
00:09:20,098 --> 00:09:21,531
Where's Chuck?
227
00:09:21,531 --> 00:09:23,098
Chuck has the flu
228
00:09:23,098 --> 00:09:25,764
and he will not
be coming over.
229
00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:27,864
Besides, he didn't
want to play with cheaters.
230
00:09:27,864 --> 00:09:29,098
Who? Us?
231
00:09:29,098 --> 00:09:31,898
We've never cheated
a day in our lives.
232
00:09:34,498 --> 00:09:35,664
What's the matter?
233
00:09:35,664 --> 00:09:38,964
Don't want to get hit
by the lightning.
234
00:09:38,964 --> 00:09:41,664
I guess it's just
the three of us.
235
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:42,631
We'll play cutthroat--
236
00:09:42,631 --> 00:09:44,131
every man for himself.
237
00:09:44,131 --> 00:09:46,031
No. I have
a partner.
238
00:09:46,031 --> 00:09:47,031
Really?
239
00:09:47,031 --> 00:09:49,164
Did you go to
"Rent-a-loser"?
240
00:09:51,364 --> 00:09:53,398
no.
241
00:09:53,398 --> 00:09:54,764
No, I have
a partner.
242
00:09:54,764 --> 00:09:56,464
It's dr. Foster.
243
00:09:56,464 --> 00:09:57,798
He's a doctor?
244
00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:00,364
No, he's head of the english
department at Hillman.
245
00:10:00,364 --> 00:10:02,164
A Hillman man?
246
00:10:02,164 --> 00:10:04,698
Ah, these must be
our worthy opponents.
247
00:10:04,698 --> 00:10:07,231
Dr. Foster,
meet Frank and Jesse.
248
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:10,231
Dr. Foster, I'm
cliff's father,
Russell huxtable
249
00:10:10,231 --> 00:10:12,231
and this is my friend,
Homer Dobson.
250
00:10:12,231 --> 00:10:13,998
It's a real
pleasure.
251
00:10:13,998 --> 00:10:17,231
Heathcliff says you fellows
are spirited players.
252
00:10:17,231 --> 00:10:18,898
We like
a good game.
253
00:10:18,898 --> 00:10:20,431
We play
to have fun.
254
00:10:20,431 --> 00:10:21,764
We don't care
255
00:10:21,764 --> 00:10:23,931
whether we
win or lose.
256
00:10:28,098 --> 00:10:30,498
Lightning.
257
00:10:30,498 --> 00:10:34,431
Heathcliff and I
will not be easily beaten.
258
00:10:34,431 --> 00:10:35,698
That's good.
259
00:10:35,698 --> 00:10:38,264
That makes the game
that much more enjoyable.
260
00:10:38,264 --> 00:10:40,598
Then let the games begin.
261
00:10:43,264 --> 00:10:44,931
Fresh meat.
262
00:10:44,931 --> 00:10:46,098
Oh, no.
263
00:10:46,098 --> 00:10:50,531
He looks like he's been
rubbed to death.
264
00:10:58,531 --> 00:11:00,464
No matter how dumb
the dealer looks
265
00:11:00,464 --> 00:11:01,798
always cut
the cards.
266
00:11:10,364 --> 00:11:13,298
Your eyes may shine,
your teeth may grit
267
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,398
But the cards you want
you will not get.
268
00:11:19,198 --> 00:11:20,198
Watch it, Homer.
269
00:11:20,198 --> 00:11:21,231
That was low.
270
00:11:23,731 --> 00:11:26,264
Am I missing something?
271
00:11:26,264 --> 00:11:28,198
They're telling us that
since they're playing us
272
00:11:28,198 --> 00:11:29,864
vultures are circling overhead.
273
00:11:29,864 --> 00:11:32,598
Gentlemen, before we begin,
I have a question.
274
00:11:32,598 --> 00:11:33,731
Do you usually play
Straight partners
275
00:11:33,731 --> 00:11:34,898
cutthroat
276
00:11:34,898 --> 00:11:37,231
or double-deck auction
with a widow?
277
00:11:45,031 --> 00:11:47,531
Straight partners.
278
00:11:47,531 --> 00:11:48,898
Standard scoring or
the midwest check system?
279
00:11:53,331 --> 00:11:56,464
Just what is
the midwest check system?
280
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,464
Tanya?
281
00:12:04,464 --> 00:12:05,698
Yes?
282
00:12:05,698 --> 00:12:06,731
Can I ask a question?
283
00:12:06,731 --> 00:12:07,764
Sure.
284
00:12:07,764 --> 00:12:10,398
Do you watch wrestling?
285
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,431
Wrestling?
286
00:12:13,431 --> 00:12:15,998
No, I don't like it
that much.
287
00:12:15,998 --> 00:12:20,131
We've been seeing each other
for about four weeks.
288
00:12:20,131 --> 00:12:21,764
Almost five.
289
00:12:21,764 --> 00:12:23,064
That long?
290
00:12:23,064 --> 00:12:25,798
Yeah, it's been that long.
291
00:12:25,798 --> 00:12:30,498
I haven't seen anyone else
since I started seeing you.
292
00:12:30,498 --> 00:12:31,831
Me, either.
293
00:12:31,831 --> 00:12:34,498
All right.
294
00:12:34,498 --> 00:12:37,464
So what did you
want to ask, Theo?
295
00:12:37,464 --> 00:12:39,398
Well, this isn't easy for me...
296
00:12:39,398 --> 00:12:40,664
wait.
297
00:12:40,664 --> 00:12:43,264
Theo, is it that you
want to see someone else?
298
00:12:43,264 --> 00:12:44,698
No, no, it's not that.
299
00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:45,831
Not at all.
300
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,064
It's not important.
301
00:12:48,064 --> 00:12:49,331
Let's read some more.
302
00:12:49,331 --> 00:12:50,398
Okay.
303
00:12:50,398 --> 00:12:51,798
You know, Russell
304
00:12:51,798 --> 00:12:54,664
this warm weather reminds me
when I was young.
305
00:12:54,664 --> 00:12:57,064
We used to take
the ball and the glove
306
00:12:57,064 --> 00:12:59,131
and go down to
the baseball diamond.
307
00:13:08,031 --> 00:13:09,231
You know, Homer
308
00:13:09,231 --> 00:13:11,698
sometimes when I
went out to play baseball
309
00:13:11,698 --> 00:13:12,831
It would rain.
310
00:13:12,831 --> 00:13:15,598
And we had to go sit
in the clubhouse.
311
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,131
I think I'm going
to lead with clubs.
312
00:13:22,131 --> 00:13:25,464
I wonder why.
313
00:13:25,464 --> 00:13:26,798
Good playing.
314
00:13:26,798 --> 00:13:28,798
Your turn, son.
315
00:13:30,298 --> 00:13:31,831
Is that the king of clubs?
316
00:13:31,831 --> 00:13:32,964
Yes.
317
00:13:32,964 --> 00:13:35,431
To borrow from
the great Duke Ellington
318
00:13:35,431 --> 00:13:38,731
it don't mean a thing
if I beat your king.
319
00:13:38,731 --> 00:13:40,798
You had the ace?
320
00:13:40,798 --> 00:13:41,864
Yes, I did.
321
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,364
Dr. Foster
322
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,964
if you'll throw in,
I'll collect this trick.
323
00:13:45,964 --> 00:13:49,231
That may be difficult to do,
Mr. Huxtable, senior.
324
00:13:49,231 --> 00:13:51,864
Since you threw
your ace in my face
325
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:54,331
I'll Bump your rump
with my Trump.
326
00:13:58,698 --> 00:14:00,264
Bam!
327
00:14:07,298 --> 00:14:08,464
You've
cheated
328
00:14:08,464 --> 00:14:11,264
and you've lied
329
00:14:11,264 --> 00:14:17,698
and by the turn of this trick,
the score is now tied.
330
00:14:17,698 --> 00:14:18,998
Methinks
331
00:14:18,998 --> 00:14:22,064
I hear the flapping wings
of the birds of prey.
332
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:28,764
"I wandered down
the SUBWAY stairs
seeing nothing
333
00:14:28,764 --> 00:14:29,764
"My mind plunging.
334
00:14:29,764 --> 00:14:30,764
The subway was..."
335
00:14:30,764 --> 00:14:31,764
Theo?
336
00:14:31,764 --> 00:14:32,731
Yeah?
337
00:14:32,731 --> 00:14:34,231
I love the way you read.
338
00:14:37,531 --> 00:14:38,564
Thanks.
339
00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:43,498
Tanya, I'm not reading
because I want to read.
340
00:14:43,498 --> 00:14:45,431
I'm reading because
I have something
341
00:14:45,431 --> 00:14:47,298
I don't want to give you.
342
00:14:47,298 --> 00:14:48,631
You do? What is it?
343
00:14:48,631 --> 00:14:50,031
It's just a present.
344
00:14:50,031 --> 00:14:51,498
It doesn't
mean anything.
345
00:14:51,498 --> 00:14:55,031
It means something, but it
doesn't mean what it could mean.
346
00:14:55,031 --> 00:14:56,031
Here.
347
00:14:56,031 --> 00:14:57,031
Hi.
348
00:14:57,031 --> 00:14:57,864
Hi.
Hi.
349
00:14:57,864 --> 00:15:00,598
Hi, Theo.
Hi, Tanya.
350
00:15:00,598 --> 00:15:01,798
Hi, Theo.
Hi, Tanya.
351
00:15:01,798 --> 00:15:02,798
⪠Hi, Theo. âª
352
00:15:02,798 --> 00:15:04,664
⪠Hi, Tanya. âª
353
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:07,864
Hi, Rudy.
354
00:15:07,864 --> 00:15:10,098
Girl, will you
get in this house?
355
00:15:15,898 --> 00:15:17,564
Anyway,
like I was saying
356
00:15:17,564 --> 00:15:19,464
I have something
to give you
357
00:15:19,464 --> 00:15:20,798
but it's
no big deal.
358
00:15:20,798 --> 00:15:22,331
Theo, what is it?
359
00:15:28,398 --> 00:15:30,564
It's beautiful.
360
00:15:30,564 --> 00:15:32,264
I love it.
361
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,331
It's real cheap.
362
00:15:37,731 --> 00:15:39,931
It's so beautiful.
363
00:15:39,931 --> 00:15:42,098
It will probably
turn your finger green.
364
00:15:42,098 --> 00:15:45,431
If it does,
I'll just switch fingers.
365
00:15:45,431 --> 00:15:48,231
I'm embarrassed to say
how much it cost.
366
00:15:48,231 --> 00:15:49,964
I'll wear it every day.
367
00:15:49,964 --> 00:15:52,664
You really like it?
368
00:15:52,664 --> 00:15:56,264
Well, I really like you.
369
00:15:58,064 --> 00:15:59,164
Hi.
370
00:16:01,664 --> 00:16:03,064
Want some
ice cream?
371
00:16:03,064 --> 00:16:04,231
Mom!
372
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:06,498
Yes?
373
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:09,764
Excuse us, please.
Little girl...
374
00:16:09,764 --> 00:16:13,664
Oh, mom, I never
get to have fun.
375
00:16:24,531 --> 00:16:26,198
Jack of hearts.
376
00:16:26,198 --> 00:16:27,098
It's to you.
377
00:16:27,098 --> 00:16:28,598
King of hearts.
378
00:16:28,598 --> 00:16:31,031
That's your first
good card tonight, Homer.
379
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:32,198
Me?
380
00:16:32,198 --> 00:16:34,964
You haven't thrown
a good card all night.
381
00:16:34,964 --> 00:16:37,398
I've been trying to set you up.
382
00:16:37,398 --> 00:16:38,898
Dissension in the ranks?
383
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:41,864
Oh-ho... and I love it.
384
00:16:41,864 --> 00:16:44,198
It's my play,
I believe.
385
00:16:44,198 --> 00:16:45,964
Bap!
386
00:16:47,998 --> 00:16:50,264
Do you always
have to say "Bap"?
387
00:16:50,264 --> 00:16:51,698
I'm sorry, dad.
388
00:16:52,798 --> 00:16:54,331
Ka-pow!
389
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:57,964
Nine.
390
00:16:57,964 --> 00:16:58,964
Nine?!
391
00:16:58,964 --> 00:17:00,931
the trick is yours, heathcliff.
392
00:17:00,931 --> 00:17:02,164
Yes, thank you.
393
00:17:02,164 --> 00:17:03,798
⪠La do-do-da-do âª
394
00:17:03,798 --> 00:17:06,698
is there still in pinochle
a tradition in which
395
00:17:06,698 --> 00:17:08,398
the taking of every trick
396
00:17:08,398 --> 00:17:10,964
results in the rubbing
of the Opponents' heads?
397
00:17:10,964 --> 00:17:12,398
I believe so.
398
00:17:13,931 --> 00:17:16,298
First, you have to
win all the tricks.
399
00:17:16,298 --> 00:17:18,564
There's only one trick left.
400
00:17:18,564 --> 00:17:22,931
Dad, in all the years,
I have never rubbed your head.
401
00:17:22,931 --> 00:17:25,098
You realize that, don't you?
402
00:17:26,664 --> 00:17:28,264
And so
403
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:32,864
I shall lead with the queen of
404
00:17:32,864 --> 00:17:36,831
go-into-the-garden-
and-get-the-spade.
405
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:46,131
King of Trump.
406
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:47,631
Now, somewhere is the ace.
407
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:48,698
That's right.
408
00:17:48,698 --> 00:17:51,298
Now surely, sir,
you have the ace.
409
00:17:51,298 --> 00:17:54,798
Put it on your forehead,
as you have so many times.
410
00:17:54,798 --> 00:17:56,098
No.
411
00:17:56,098 --> 00:17:59,464
Come on, dr. Foster,
we know you've got the ace.
412
00:17:59,464 --> 00:18:01,331
It's a possibility.
413
00:18:03,164 --> 00:18:05,598
Well, before I lay down
my final card
414
00:18:05,598 --> 00:18:09,031
I am reminded of
the immortal words of HAMLET:
415
00:18:09,031 --> 00:18:12,631
"Aye, there's the rub."
416
00:18:14,331 --> 00:18:15,664
Ace.
417
00:18:24,831 --> 00:18:31,298
Oooh, bleedl-deedl-deedl-deedl.
418
00:18:31,298 --> 00:18:33,164
And
now...
419
00:18:33,164 --> 00:18:38,364
Dr. Foster, since you are
a visitor here
420
00:18:38,364 --> 00:18:42,598
I give you
the first rub.
421
00:18:42,598 --> 00:18:44,864
Thank you.
422
00:18:44,864 --> 00:18:47,098
⪠The rubbing of the head âª
423
00:18:47,098 --> 00:18:48,798
⪠the rubbing of the head âª
424
00:18:48,798 --> 00:18:52,831
⪠hi, ho, the dairy-o,
the rubbing of the head âª
425
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:02,398
a-coochie-coochie-coo.
426
00:19:04,698 --> 00:19:06,998
This is a stupid tradition.
427
00:19:06,998 --> 00:19:09,564
I agree with you,
but it's fun!
428
00:19:11,231 --> 00:19:13,731
And now...
429
00:19:13,731 --> 00:19:17,398
you're not really going
through with this, are you?
430
00:19:17,398 --> 00:19:20,664
Wooaaaaaahhhhhhhh.
431
00:19:22,798 --> 00:19:24,964
Just remember I'm your father.
432
00:19:28,264 --> 00:19:29,764
Aaah!
433
00:19:44,331 --> 00:19:47,064
Yee-aaaaaaaa!
434
00:20:02,998 --> 00:20:04,531
Are you through?
435
00:20:04,531 --> 00:20:05,431
No.
436
00:20:05,431 --> 00:20:06,798
Yeee-aaaaaaaa.
437
00:20:11,698 --> 00:20:13,064
No! No!
438
00:20:18,164 --> 00:20:19,064
Hey.
439
00:20:19,064 --> 00:20:22,131
Now, tell me
how it was.
440
00:20:22,131 --> 00:20:23,331
It was nice.
441
00:20:23,331 --> 00:20:24,331
Yeah?
442
00:20:24,331 --> 00:20:26,264
Did you give her
the present?
443
00:20:26,264 --> 00:20:27,164
Yes, I did.
444
00:20:27,164 --> 00:20:28,531
All right.
What present?
445
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:29,998
I gave Tanya a ring.
446
00:20:29,998 --> 00:20:32,131
I'm very happy you're dating.
447
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:35,164
It's a special time
in a young man's life.
448
00:20:35,164 --> 00:20:38,898
But there are certain things
you should know about.
449
00:20:38,898 --> 00:20:41,064
Dad and I
already had a talk.
450
00:20:41,064 --> 00:20:44,364
You and Theo
had the talk?
451
00:20:44,364 --> 00:20:46,131
The talk.
452
00:20:46,131 --> 00:20:49,331
Did he mention the part
about being a gentleman?
453
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:50,664
Several times.
454
00:20:50,664 --> 00:20:54,398
I gave him the same talk
that you gave me
455
00:20:54,398 --> 00:20:56,798
and your father gave you.
456
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,298
Did you listen?
457
00:20:59,298 --> 00:21:00,864
Yes, grandpa.
458
00:21:00,864 --> 00:21:02,498
Good.
459
00:21:03,898 --> 00:21:08,364
I'll be as much of a gentleman
as dad was at my age.
460
00:21:10,798 --> 00:21:14,264
I think I'd better
give him the talk again.
461
00:21:22,798 --> 00:21:28,698
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