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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,003
[♪ dramatic theme playing]
2
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:12,387
[♪ suspenseful Western music playing]
3
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,811
[shrieks]
4
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,359
[♪ tense music playing]
5
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,488
Hmm.
6
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,281
[slurps]
7
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,158
Porcupine. No, wait.
8
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,953
[slurping]
9
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,997
Hedgehog.
10
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,376
♪
11
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,961
Hyah, lizard, hyah!
12
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,506
[lizard galloping]
13
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,842
♪
14
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,220
[Korvo] Planet Shlorp
was a perfect utopia,
15
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,347
until the asteroid hit.
16
00:00:55,848 --> 00:00:58,308
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa,
17
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,143
and escaped into the... space,
18
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:02,938
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
19
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,189
We crashed on Earth,
20
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,483
stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.
21
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,110
That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
22
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,278
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
23
00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:11,071
My name is Korvo. This is my show.
24
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,364
Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
25
00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:14,324
Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.
26
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:17,077
It's a horrible home.
People are stupid and confusing.
27
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,580
Why do all these old billionaires put
young people's blood in their veins
28
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,165
when they can be paying
to put Gray 55, the robot blood,
29
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,584
directly into their genitals?
30
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:24,668
That's the good stuff!
31
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:27,880
[♪ dramatic music playing]
32
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:33,468
[♪ suspenseful Western music playing]
33
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,264
I heard there was an old PEZ dispenser
out here somewhere.
34
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,933
- Do you think we'll get to see it?
- Don't know, don't care.
35
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,395
I wonder what character it is.
36
00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:44,980
Ooh, and what flavor the PEZ is.
37
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:46,190
Ooh, and if we find it,
38
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:47,649
I'm gonna crawl up on the top
to get a view of the--
39
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,026
Stop trying to make this fun.
40
00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,777
That bounty hunter
could still be tracking us.
41
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,863
[Sofia] You know,
I'm not some naive kid.
42
00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,991
I did pretty good with your hippie pal
in Sandbox Town, didn't I?
43
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:58,035
You almost got killed, twice!
44
00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,161
Ah, but I didn't.
45
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,955
Meanwhile, you were higher
than Matthew McConaughey's kite.
46
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,415
[deep voice]
"Oh, I'm Gavin.
47
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,626
"I'm a lightweight who can't handle
some mushrooms.
48
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:09,171
Oh, take me to the hospital,
I can't feel my old hands."
49
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:12,090
I need to deliver these supplies
to the NoHo Hank Funko Pop
50
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:15,135
Terry threw into the yard
when Barry turned into a drama.
51
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,221
Nothing in my orders
about keeping you alive.
52
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:18,555
Ooh, what's this thing?
53
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,349
[Gavin] [sighs]
Basketballburgh.
54
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,059
I've heard about Basketballburgh!
55
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:25,646
[gasps] Do they really have
a rollercoaster made out of K'nex?
56
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,272
Yeah, but it's the kind
that's only scary
57
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,399
because you think it's gonna
fall over the whole time.
58
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,735
Maybe if you get to like me,
we can be scared of it together.
59
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:34,488
I don't want to like you.
I want to be done with this.
60
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,614
Hyah!
61
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,578
[both gasp]
62
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:45,082
[♪ uplifting music playing]
63
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,750
Oh, my God, water!
64
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,670
This better not be a mirage!
65
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:52,631
Actually, I don't even care.
It's so hot, I'll take the illusion.
66
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,550
Something's not right.
67
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,802
Why does it smell like
the Smirnoff outlet store?
68
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,805
[dragonfly sizzles, shrieks]
69
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,348
Last one in's a shitty wad of shit.
70
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,558
- [Gavin grunts]
- [Sofia yelps]
71
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,686
- What the hell?
- Look!
72
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,940
Oh, my God.
That dragonfly can't swim.
73
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,150
Someone call a bug lifeguard!
74
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,569
It's not water.
75
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,445
[bugs squealing]
76
00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:18,866
[Sofia] Jesus, what the hell is it?
77
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,035
[gasps] Hand sanitizer,
78
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,204
the cheap kind that smells
like coyote vagina.
79
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,248
At our scale, this stuff burns like acid.
80
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:27,416
[leaf sizzles]
81
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:28,959
Oh, my God, I could've died.
82
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,670
Hey, hey, you didn't.
You're okay.
83
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,630
I don't think I like
the Back Yard.
84
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,300
Yeah, well, I don't really like anything.
85
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,886
Except for Coldplay, they rule.
86
00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:43,724
[♪ intense ominous music playing]
87
00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:47,644
Come on, guys,
he's gonna be here any second!
88
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,730
I broke out the gouda today!
89
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,107
Only the fanciest cheese
for our famous friend.
90
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,776
Avatar! My blue!
91
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,529
- [Pupa grunting]
- [JK Sevens whirring]
92
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,282
- [Pupa shouts]
- [tray clatters]
93
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:01,825
Ah, my charcuterie board!
94
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,577
You know how many TikToks
I had to study
95
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:04,953
to get the meat flopped right?
96
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,788
I told you two
to stay out of the kitchen!
97
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,249
[Jesse] Why are you fighting?
I thought you were besties.
98
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,334
They're both Geminis.
99
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:13,003
When Saturn's in their
seventh house, good luck!
100
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,088
Neither of them were born
on this planet.
101
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,090
The star signs are hecka different.
102
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,635
Gemini energy is bigger
than galactic star charts!
103
00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,011
You two better suck it up.
104
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,055
Our famous friend's coming over
to hang out today.
105
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,224
But what he doesn't know
is that it's actually an intervention.
106
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:28,560
Turns out you can have
too much alcohol and heroin,
107
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,563
and weed, and all the other drugs
smooshed up into a big ball.
108
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:34,358
He's going to freak out.
Everyone needs to be as quiet as possible
109
00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:36,026
while we spring a friend trap
on his ass.
110
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:39,112
Oh, man, the look on his face
when we confront him with his own failings
111
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,199
is gonna be tragic! [chuckles]
112
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,743
[missiles whooshing]
113
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,453
- [missiles exploding]
- [all screaming]
114
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,538
[crockery clanking]
115
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:49,915
Stop it with the sci-fi fight already!
116
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,166
- [Pupa grunts]
- That's it, if you can't behave,
117
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,459
then we're locking you two in the Manc Ave
118
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,961
until the intervention is over!
119
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,546
[Pupa grunts]
120
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,256
You two are like feral cats!
121
00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:59,675
Are we sure it's a good idea
to leave them alone?
122
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,969
Yeah, we had to move a lot
of dangerous stuff down here
123
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,179
to make room for the intervention
in the living room.
124
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,014
Like that laser cannon
and the ottoman.
125
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,516
It's all harmless, they'll be fine.
126
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,935
What about this microuniverse
in a snow globe?
127
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:13,105
Or this soul disc you made Terry
after he saw Tron?
128
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:15,524
Oh, yeah, we recorded
my soul onto that thing
129
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,442
so I could live in the grid as a program.
130
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:18,861
I'm hella bicoastal, baby.
131
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,112
I made that up to make you happy.
132
00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:21,697
So I still have my digital soul?
133
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,323
- Not cool!
- Ah!
134
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,408
- Ah!
- [Jesse gasps]
135
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,492
Ah!
136
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:29,496
Whew, you almost released
The Thing from The Thing.
137
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,040
That's a Miss Thing,
so we don't get sued.
138
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,792
- Wink, wink.
- [Miss Thing growls]
139
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,169
[Pupa gasps]
140
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:37,713
But even in clearable parody form,
141
00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:41,383
this little lady is just as dangerous
as her big-screen counterpart.
142
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:44,720
Ah, geez, we can't leave them
down here with Miss Thing.
143
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,638
- She'll eat them and steal their DNA.
- [Pupa gasps]
144
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:49,933
Wow, Jesse, um, women have
to support other women.
145
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,311
She's just jealous because
Miss Thing rocks a bow better.
146
00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:54,938
We'll just put her way up here.
Problem solved.
147
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:56,064
- [doorbell rings]
- [group gasps]
148
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,734
Oh, my stars and garters, I haven't lit
the candle in the bathroom yet!
149
00:05:58,734 --> 00:05:59,818
Listen to me, you two,
150
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,695
if either of you come upstairs
for even a second,
151
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,197
you're grounded for life!
152
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:05,824
But if you can make it through
this intervention without fighting,
153
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,452
we'll take you to your favorite
fast casual French restaurant.
154
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:11,413
- Au Bon Pain?
- Oui. So be good.
155
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,498
Here, just zone out and watch
156
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,584
the director's commentary-only
edition of Shrek.
157
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,419
[director] [on screen]
For this first scene, I wanted
158
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:20,047
a sweeping wide shot,
but the studio insisted on starting
159
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,508
with Shrek coming out
of an outhouse, wiping his ass.
160
00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:25,552
Now a lot of people wanna know
how we got the donkey to talk.
161
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,430
No, it's not peanut butter.
It was computers.
162
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:32,017
[♪ suspenseful Western music playing]
163
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,145
You know what I miss
about the before-fore?
164
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,773
Being big enough that
a raindrop wouldn't kill me?
165
00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:39,858
Yeah, I was gonna say $5 foot longs.
166
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:42,110
But that raindrop thing
really is a problem.
167
00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:43,862
[Hedgey purrs]
168
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:46,698
- Hedgey, did you just purr at her?
- We're friends.
169
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:49,159
He wraps his little arms
around me when we sleep.
170
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,494
I call them hedgehugs.
171
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:52,287
I've been beggin' you for hedgehugs.
172
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,372
[Hedgey groans]
173
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:57,125
He makes me feel safe,
at least for a minute.
174
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,169
The Yard's a hard place to live,
175
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,171
but I'll take it over the Wall any day.
176
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,382
The Wall didn't have poison lakes.
177
00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:05,926
Worse. I was there for every era.
178
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,302
[crowd roaring]
179
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,972
I stormed the Duke's staircase
in Wall War I.
180
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:14,601
When Tim took over, I helped clean
and distribute sex toys to the needy.
181
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,814
I even smuggled Raisinettes
over the wall in the Wall
182
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,691
when the Bowinians split off.
183
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,443
[Sofia]
No Duke or Bowinians out here.
184
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,445
That's right, this is a simple yard.
185
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,866
Look at us delivering fruit
to hungry people, no politics.
186
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,450
That's the way to live.
187
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:35,581
[♪ foreboding music playing]
188
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,835
[JK Sevens beeping]
189
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,505
Mine! Mine!
190
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,133
No! Ah!
191
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:48,927
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
192
00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:51,889
- [JK Sevens beeping]
- Ah!
193
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:54,641
[Miss Thing shrieks]
194
00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,062
Aah!
195
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:04,610
- [Miss Thing shrieking]
- [objects crashing]
196
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:07,154
What the... Oh, finally!
197
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,615
Do you know how long I've been trapped
in the digital world?
198
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:11,658
There isn't even
a single Del Taco in there!
199
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,743
- [Miss Thing shrieks]
- Ah!
200
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,371
[weapon whirring]
201
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,623
Ah!
202
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:18,707
[Miss Thing shrieks]
203
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,668
- [bats shrieking]
- Ah!
204
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,421
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
205
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,797
[Miss Thing shrieks]
206
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,633
♪
207
00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:33,931
What's wrong, boy?
208
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,224
Road's blocked.
209
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:38,268
Usually, Terry throws his chicken legs
210
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,145
closer to the kitchen window.
211
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,147
- [sword swishes]
- [Gavin and Sofia shout]
212
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,400
- [lizard hisses]
- [Sofia] It's the bounty hunter!
213
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,361
Jesus Christ, where?
Oh, me.
214
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:48,820
Hyah, Hedgey, hyah!
215
00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:51,698
[grunts]
216
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:54,826
[lizard growls]
217
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,455
He's still coming!
218
00:08:58,455 --> 00:08:59,915
We gotta go off-road!
219
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,377
[grass rustling]
220
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,132
PEZ!
221
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:11,802
Oh, shit! No time to stop!
Go, Hedgey, go!
222
00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:15,722
- [wagon thuds]
- [Gavin and Sofia grunt]
223
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:19,768
Good boy! Get us outta this
and it's grubs for dinner all week!
224
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,186
- [Hedgey squeals]
- [Gavin and Sofia scream]
225
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:23,230
- Come on!
- Look!
226
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,650
Hurry, push!
227
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,819
♪
228
00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,865
- It's working.
- [lizard roars]
229
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:34,366
[Bounty Hunter grumbles]
230
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,455
Hyah, hyah. [clicks tongue]
231
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,457
It'll take him hours
to get all the way around.
232
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,709
This is gonna work.
233
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,420
- [Sofia] Ah, we're sinking!
- [Gavin] Ah!
234
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,922
Oh, no, we need to jettison weight.
235
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,340
- [Hedgey screaming]
- Hedgey, quit it.
236
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,426
- It's gonna be okay.
- Ah, come on!
237
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,928
- Hedgey.
- Hedgey, please, you need to stay calm.
238
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,139
Ah, god, it burns!
239
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:58,682
[Sofia] Oh, my God, are you okay?
240
00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:01,310
We're still sinking.
We need to lighten the load.
241
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:02,895
- No!
- Hedgey, no!
242
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,315
[♪ poignant music playing]
243
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,653
- [Hedgey whinnies]
- [liquid splashing gently]
244
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,447
- [Hedgey vocalizing]
- [both gasp]
245
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:17,951
His quills protect him
from the hand sanitizer!
246
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,119
Good boy!
247
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:22,247
Ha! I'm learning a shit-ton
about hedgehogs today.
248
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,749
Crap!
249
00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:26,376
We took on too much goo. Come on!
250
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,213
We can save the food, pass it over.
251
00:10:29,213 --> 00:10:30,839
We can't leave the cart.
252
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,883
We can build a new cart.
253
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,968
Stop it!
What are you doing?
254
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,596
We don't need the cart
if we don't have the food!
255
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:39,389
It's ruined.
256
00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:41,433
Goddammit.
257
00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:46,188
[♪ tense music playing]
258
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:49,775
[groans]
259
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,904
You better have a really good answer
for what just happened.
260
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:56,323
Um, I did the cart thing.
261
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,825
You call hand sanitizer goo.
262
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,410
Let's not point fingers.
263
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,954
What is wrong with you?
264
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,667
[Miss Thing hissing]
265
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,921
- [JK Sevens beeps]
- [Pupa grunts]
266
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:13,799
[sighs]
267
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:16,093
Ah! Au Bon Pain!
268
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:19,054
[Terry] I forgive you
for getting gacked on blow
269
00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:20,347
and then running me over
with your convertible.
270
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,099
No matter how many castles you defeat,
271
00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:25,060
you'll never find the drug
that makes you you again.
272
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,688
You know, I remember when you started out
as a simple gamer boy,
273
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,731
but ever since the movie came out,
you've changed.
274
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:32,150
You wanna fight the final boss?
Look in the mirror.
275
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,903
[friend] [in Italian accent]
Wahoo, that was beautiful, Terry.
276
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,865
But I'm gonna have to say, "Oh, no!"
277
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,242
You think I need your pity,
you little bitches?
278
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,326
[Terry] I'm a little bitch?
279
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:44,037
You're the one who offered to blow
Eric Stonestreet for an eight ball.
280
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,706
[friend] So what if I did?
281
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,750
It's a-me, I'm a fucking a-movie star now!
282
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,169
- [Terry] You begged him!
- [Pupa gasps]
283
00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:52,296
[Korvo] Calm down, Terrance,
let him express his feelings.
284
00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:54,006
[friend] I don't wanna be here!
285
00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:57,050
The Last of Us people don't have
to put up with this shit.
286
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,136
[Jesse] The Last of Us guys
didn't drive their Kart
287
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:01,805
off the PCH hopped up on PCP.
288
00:12:02,598 --> 00:12:03,849
[Sofia hammering]
289
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,685
What were you thinking?
290
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,187
Can we talk about this later?
291
00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:11,106
That bounty hunter's still out there.
We gotta get going.
292
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,817
Get going where exactly?
You tossed all the food!
293
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,861
Okay, I know it seems bad.
294
00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,404
All we have is an empty cart!
295
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,198
I'm never gonna be able to clear my debt.
296
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:20,407
Yes, you will.
297
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,575
This isn't DoorDash.
298
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,327
When you get paid to transport food,
299
00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:25,537
you don't get paid without the food!
300
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,289
We weren't transporting food!
301
00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:30,083
Oh, I'm sorry,
then what were we doing?
302
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,585
We're hauling this.
303
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,796
[♪ intense dramatic music playing]
304
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,715
That's the real payload.
305
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,634
A stupid metal wheel?
306
00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:40,761
It's a valve for a water spigot.
307
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:44,431
We can use it to turn
the sprinklers back on.
308
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,516
Crops will grow again.
309
00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:48,310
Everyone will have
all the fruit they want.
310
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:50,395
- So you lied to me?
- I had to.
311
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:53,815
The grass, everything is dying.
312
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:56,818
Someone turned the sprinklers off.
313
00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,489
They were trying to take
all the power and control the yard.
314
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:02,741
If they knew we had this...
315
00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:05,619
That bounty hunter
isn't even after me.
316
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:07,579
He's after this fuckin' valve.
317
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:10,499
Okay, technically, yes,
but I had no choice.
318
00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:13,335
Look, all you have to do
is deliver this spigot to our contact
319
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,504
and you will get your Yardbucks.
320
00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:16,922
This is exactly the type of
321
00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:20,425
Tim and Sisto political bullshit
I will not be part of.
322
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,886
Controlling water isn't political.
323
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:25,264
What? [sputters]
Haven't you seen Chinatown?
324
00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:27,349
I only watch movies on Disney Plus!
325
00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:29,685
Yeah, well, that's pretty fuckin' clear.
326
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:31,854
What are you doing?
327
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:34,857
If you leave now,
you, you, you won't get paid!
328
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,692
Ah, what good's money
329
00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:40,654
if I get killed by some Back Yard Duke
before I can spend it?
330
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:43,866
Come on, Hedgey,
let's leave this liar liar
331
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,784
before her pants catch on fire.
332
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:47,619
[♪ poignant music playing]
333
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,246
Fine, leave!
334
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:52,374
I don't need you. I'll do it myself!
335
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:56,837
Stupid Gavin.
336
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,380
Stupid jerk.
337
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:00,465
Doesn't even wanna save the Back Yard.
338
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,842
[panting]
339
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,468
- Asshole!
- [grass rustling]
340
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:06,680
[♪ suspenseful Western music playing]
341
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:10,392
[lizard growling]
342
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:11,727
You.
343
00:14:11,727 --> 00:14:13,061
[lizard snarls]
344
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:19,067
You killed my uncle!
345
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,277
[shouts]
346
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:21,862
[Sofia screams]
347
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,782
[Korvo] Look, we just wanna
see you get off the streets
348
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,034
and back to the Mushroom Kingdom.
349
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:28,493
[Yumyulack]
No more tennis, no more golf,
350
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,078
no more superstar sagas.
351
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,997
[friend] Oh, come on.
352
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,791
[Jesse] Please go to rehab.
You know it's the right thing to do.
353
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,960
- [Terry] Let us love you.
- [Yumyulack] Please!
354
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,545
[Jesse] Can you get me
a meeting with Toad?
355
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:42,466
[friend]
Oh, God, I'm a big piece of shit!
356
00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:45,135
I'm-a so sorry, you guys.
357
00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:48,680
I just wanna kill turtles
and go on odysseys, you know?
358
00:14:49,181 --> 00:14:51,517
I'm so sick of shooting up
in the bathroom
359
00:14:51,517 --> 00:14:53,060
of a Long John Silver's
360
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:56,438
with the fighters from
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!
361
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:57,940
- [crying]
- [Miss Thing snarls]
362
00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,399
- Shh.
- [Korvo] What the hell was that?
363
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:02,402
Huh. It's probably not important
to the story.
364
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,280
[Terry] Huh, I guess
it was just our imagination.
365
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:06,698
[friend] [sniffles]
Thank you, guys.
366
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:09,076
I was so close to game over,
367
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,203
but now it feels like I have hope.
368
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:12,746
[guest]
Birdo, Birdo, Birdo!
369
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,915
[Terry]
Jesus Christ, this isn't about you.
370
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,750
- [JK Sevens whirring]
- Mmm.
371
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,216
[Hedgey groans]
372
00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:25,801
What's the matter, H?
373
00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:28,387
You can't still be hungry
after that double helping of mealworms.
374
00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,807
No, no, do not give me that look.
375
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:35,018
Yeah, I know, I-I was starting
to like her too,
376
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,770
even though she said I dress "daggy,"
377
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,480
whatever that means.
378
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:40,482
Hey, hey, come on, stop!
379
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,067
I'm in charge here!
380
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:45,821
[Gavin shouts]
381
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:49,116
Fine, we can go back.
382
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:51,910
Once we know she's safe, though,
we are gone for good.
383
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,328
- [Hedgey purring]
- Alright.
384
00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:55,122
Okay then, if we're doing this,
let's hurry up.
385
00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:56,582
Hyah!
386
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:01,044
I think we really got through to him.
387
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:02,546
Eh, he won't last the month.
388
00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,464
The Thanksgiving Day Parade's
right around the corner,
389
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,675
and you know how he gets
around the Rockettes.
390
00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:09,887
Okay, I wonder what kind of shit show
we're walking into down here.
391
00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:12,014
[director] [on screen] Four donkeys died
during the production.
392
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:14,975
The stage lights were just
too hot for the little guys.
393
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,352
We are very proud of you two.
394
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:20,189
You went the whole day
without fighting, good job.
395
00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:22,274
Go upstairs
and get your puffy coats,
396
00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:24,026
we're going to Au Bon Pain!
397
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:25,194
- Yay!
- [JK Sevens beeping]
398
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,785
I need a fuckin' smoke.
399
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,121
They only had Camel Crushes.
400
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:37,956
Gross. Hand them over.
401
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,918
Terry, you brilliant son of a bitch.
402
00:16:40,918 --> 00:16:42,836
I can't believe your plan worked.
403
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:45,172
Pretending to get
our friend hooked on heroin
404
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,715
so we can have an intervention excuse
405
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:48,842
to lock the Pupa
and JK Sevens down here...
406
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:52,095
So they would work together
and become friends!
407
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:54,389
-"Pretending"?
- Either way, I'm impressed.
408
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,849
It's called parenting, honey.
409
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,017
Top work, Miss Thing.
410
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,769
Looking forward to working together again.
411
00:16:58,769 --> 00:17:00,437
[together]
Miss Thing, Miss Thing,
412
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:01,522
- Miss Thing!
- Alright!
413
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:02,731
- Yeah!
- You go, girl!
414
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:05,567
Little one hit me with
a container of laundry detergent.
415
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:06,777
Here's an extra 20.
416
00:17:06,777 --> 00:17:09,571
You're free to head out into the world
and spread like a virus or whatever.
417
00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:11,073
We don't really care
what you do to humans.
418
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,866
Well, here's a tip, don't do drugs.
419
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:16,370
- [Solars laughing]
- [Miss Thing coughs]
420
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,960
[sniffing]
421
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,712
Huh. It looks like she stopped here
and went off-road.
422
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,840
- [Hedgey squeaks]
- What is it, bud?
423
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:31,426
[♪ somber music playing]
424
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,012
Oh...
425
00:17:34,972 --> 00:17:37,474
Lizard tracks, dammit!
426
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,603
[♪ epic music playing]
427
00:17:43,689 --> 00:17:46,692
Oh, why did it have
to be Basketballburgh?
428
00:17:47,693 --> 00:17:51,238
There's two dozen bastards down there
who'd love to see me dead.
429
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:52,573
[Hedgey squeaks]
430
00:17:52,573 --> 00:17:54,241
Yeah, I know.
431
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:57,077
As usual, I don't have a choice.
432
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,161
Hyah!
433
00:17:58,579 --> 00:18:01,748
I'll bet you 10 Yardbucks
I won't gamble, okay?
434
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:08,714
[♪ eerie music playing]
435
00:18:08,714 --> 00:18:10,007
[gasps]
436
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:14,970
What the hell?
437
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,355
[gasps] The rollercoaster!
438
00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:28,525
Wow, it's so green.
439
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,403
Well done, Little Richard, really.
440
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:33,614
Tip-top work.
Here's your Yardbucks.
441
00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:35,866
Treat your wife to a nice meal, on me.
442
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:38,702
We're all the same size.
That name doesn't make any sense.
443
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:40,746
It's because I have a tiny dick!
444
00:18:40,746 --> 00:18:41,997
Happy?
445
00:18:42,915 --> 00:18:44,833
Wait, I know you.
446
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:47,669
You used to be the head
of the Wall Council.
447
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,505
You were one of the good guys.
448
00:18:49,505 --> 00:18:52,007
I still am a good guy.
449
00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:55,677
I can't thank you enough for guarding this
as you crossed the Yard.
450
00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:58,013
Now, with all the spigots,
451
00:18:58,013 --> 00:19:01,099
I can control all the water
452
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:05,604
as far as the tiny eye can see!
453
00:19:05,604 --> 00:19:07,856
[laughs evilly]
454
00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:11,902
Dammit, I bet this is just like Chinatown.
455
00:19:11,902 --> 00:19:14,863
[evil laughter continues]
456
00:19:18,951 --> 00:19:21,954
[♪ dramatic theme playing]
457
00:19:44,101 --> 00:19:47,104
♪
458
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,830
[mimicking laser fire]
459
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:09,430
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