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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,890 --> 00:00:14,460 [Music] 2 00:00:14,919 --> 00:00:25,939 so 3 00:00:15,990 --> 00:00:25,939 [Music] 4 00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:31,118 what are you doing up the street 5 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:51,198 winner is in a free september 6 00:00:46,558 --> 00:00:56,078 ice with no warning cause that happens 7 00:00:51,198 --> 00:00:56,079 there's a game war there's a bird flu 8 00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:09,198 train 9 00:00:58,420 --> 00:01:09,198 [Music] 10 00:01:15,439 --> 00:01:26,489 [Music] 11 00:01:31,890 --> 00:01:38,239 [Music] 12 00:01:34,159 --> 00:01:41,439 and i love them every day of every week 13 00:01:38,239 --> 00:01:42,478 so my son's a little my husband's 14 00:01:41,438 --> 00:01:46,559 boring 15 00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:49,840 and my father oh a genius is a freak 16 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,478 still i help them love each other father 17 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:55,219 mother 18 00:01:50,478 --> 00:02:05,670 sister brother 19 00:01:55,219 --> 00:02:05,670 [Music] 20 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:13,039 it's just like funny you've 21 00:02:10,318 --> 00:02:15,039 slowed down take some time for yourself 22 00:02:13,039 --> 00:02:18,799 i'm going to have sex with your father 23 00:02:15,039 --> 00:02:21,919 great thanks i'm so loud 24 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:23,040 so it's times like these i wonder how i 25 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:27,199 take it 26 00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:30,159 and all the families live the way we do 27 00:02:27,199 --> 00:02:31,359 if they love each other or if they just 28 00:02:30,159 --> 00:02:37,840 fake it 29 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:37,840 and if other daughters 30 00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:50,490 [Music] 31 00:02:43,199 --> 00:02:54,238 just another day 32 00:02:50,490 --> 00:03:04,050 [Music] 33 00:02:54,239 --> 00:03:04,920 it's just another day forever 34 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:07,250 [Applause] 35 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:08,799 [Music] 36 00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:11,759 [Applause] 37 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:13,280 that was great wasn't it that was great 38 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:14,719 i'll crack some late 39 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,959 that'll teach you to take a full 10 40 00:03:14,719 --> 00:03:20,000 minutes sorry what 41 00:03:16,959 --> 00:03:22,158 i said isn't it a beautiful day sure 42 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,519 it's cloudy and raining and really cold 43 00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:25,199 for september but 44 00:03:23,519 --> 00:03:26,879 beautiful makes you just want to dive in 45 00:03:25,199 --> 00:03:28,719 with both feet doesn't it 46 00:03:26,878 --> 00:03:29,919 absolutely i never know what she's 47 00:03:28,719 --> 00:03:32,799 talking about 48 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:34,238 when it's up to you to hold your house 49 00:03:32,799 --> 00:03:37,200 together 50 00:03:34,239 --> 00:03:38,239 a house you built with patients and with 51 00:03:37,199 --> 00:03:40,639 hair 52 00:03:38,239 --> 00:03:42,480 and you're grappling with that rain and 53 00:03:40,639 --> 00:03:46,719 rainy weather 54 00:03:42,479 --> 00:03:49,679 and you're holding on a latte 55 00:03:46,719 --> 00:04:01,840 can you keep the cup from tipping can 56 00:03:49,680 --> 00:04:01,840 you keep your grit frosting in despair 57 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:18,269 away 58 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,269 [Applause] 59 00:04:21,009 --> 00:04:25,680 [Music] 60 00:04:22,478 --> 00:04:25,680 another day 61 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:31,758 it only hurts when i'm here 62 00:04:29,439 --> 00:04:33,759 oh you're going to be late and you've 63 00:04:31,759 --> 00:04:34,080 got a huge day you have no idea what i 64 00:04:33,759 --> 00:04:37,040 do 65 00:04:34,079 --> 00:04:37,839 all day jazz band before school class 66 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,639 keep love 67 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:43,119 then football knock it out of here it 68 00:04:40,639 --> 00:04:43,120 only hurts 69 00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:47,959 [Music] 70 00:04:52,189 --> 00:04:59,680 [Music] 71 00:05:08,879 --> 00:05:12,399 get 72 00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:23,850 [Music] 73 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:34,989 it only hurts when i breathe 74 00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:34,990 [Applause] 75 00:05:37,769 --> 00:05:42,500 [Applause] 76 00:05:44,769 --> 00:05:48,919 [Music] 77 00:05:45,819 --> 00:05:48,920 [Applause] 78 00:05:50,839 --> 00:06:04,929 day 79 00:05:52,769 --> 00:06:07,959 [Applause] 80 00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:07,959 [Music] 81 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:21,839 i think the house is 82 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:35,679 everything's fine i'm just making 83 00:06:32,879 --> 00:06:37,120 sandwiches on the floor 84 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:39,360 now you're going ahead you'll miss the 85 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,360 bus 86 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,839 go 87 00:06:57,209 --> 00:07:03,279 [Music] 88 00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:06,079 maybe a little 89 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,079 let me help you up 90 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:14,160 okay this is just a blip okay 91 00:07:10,478 --> 00:07:18,639 we'll go see dr fine now 92 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:31,840 i'll uh wrap up the sandwiches 93 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:31,840 and we'll go 94 00:07:38,110 --> 00:07:48,209 [Music] 95 00:07:50,399 --> 00:07:56,399 [Music] 96 00:07:53,199 --> 00:07:57,930 mozart was crazy 97 00:07:56,399 --> 00:08:08,599 flat 98 00:07:57,930 --> 00:08:08,600 [Music] 99 00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:21,918 there's hard money 100 00:08:13,199 --> 00:08:26,000 [Music] 101 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:26,000 and everything else goes away 102 00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:41,278 [Music] 103 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:55,839 you won't look so pale because you've 104 00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:55,838 got your foreign 105 00:09:01,059 --> 00:09:14,798 [Music] 106 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:22,000 um i still have this practice room for 107 00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:25,439 seven and a half minutes yeah i know 108 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:29,120 i uh just like to listen i'm henry 109 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:30,560 natalie yeah i know it's a little creepy 110 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,240 that you know 111 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:34,079 we have gone to school together four or 112 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:37,759 six years 113 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:40,959 really i sit behind you in four classes 114 00:09:37,759 --> 00:09:43,759 uh-huh also creepy 115 00:09:40,958 --> 00:09:45,518 so uh you're in here a lot before school 116 00:09:43,759 --> 00:09:50,879 and after 117 00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:54,320 rent seven minutes 118 00:09:50,879 --> 00:09:56,958 you give up way too easily 119 00:09:54,320 --> 00:10:05,839 you're kind of a confusing person you 120 00:09:56,958 --> 00:10:05,838 should meet my mother 121 00:10:07,919 --> 00:10:11,360 the pink ones with food but not with the 122 00:10:09,839 --> 00:10:13,040 white ones the white ones with the round 123 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,480 yellow ones but not the triangle yellow 124 00:10:13,039 --> 00:10:16,159 ones the triangle yellow ones with the 125 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,000 oblong green ones with food 126 00:10:16,159 --> 00:10:19,919 but not with the pink ones if a train is 127 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,039 leaving new york at 120 miles an hour 128 00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:22,240 and another train is leaving st 129 00:10:21,039 --> 00:10:23,039 petersburg at the same time going 130 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:25,200 backwards 131 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:27,360 which train will reach his destination 132 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:30,879 first 133 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:34,639 who's crazy the husband or 134 00:10:30,879 --> 00:10:35,360 wife who's crazy to live their whole 135 00:10:34,639 --> 00:10:38,078 life 136 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:39,360 believing that somehow things aren't as 137 00:10:38,078 --> 00:10:41,679 bizarre as they 138 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:41,680 are 139 00:10:42,799 --> 00:10:49,759 who's crazy the one who can't 140 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:52,958 cope or maybe the one who will still 141 00:10:49,759 --> 00:10:56,720 hope the one who sees doctors or the one 142 00:10:52,958 --> 00:10:56,719 who just waits in the car 143 00:10:58,078 --> 00:11:01,838 and i 144 00:11:03,769 --> 00:11:10,120 [Music] 145 00:11:12,958 --> 00:11:16,399 the round blue ones with food but not 146 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:17,838 with the oblong white ones the white 147 00:11:16,399 --> 00:11:19,200 ones with the round yellow ones but not 148 00:11:17,839 --> 00:11:20,560 the trapezoidal green ones 149 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,560 split the green ones into thirds with a 150 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:28,159 tiny chisel use a mortar puzzle to crush 151 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:31,278 into a fine powder 152 00:11:28,159 --> 00:11:34,319 it's like an odd romance 153 00:11:31,278 --> 00:11:42,379 intense and variant 154 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:45,539 we do our dance 155 00:11:42,379 --> 00:11:45,538 [Music] 156 00:11:46,399 --> 00:12:01,519 he knows 157 00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:05,439 you'll always take my call 158 00:12:01,519 --> 00:12:10,879 it's truly like he told me 159 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:12,959 without a little hint of paul 160 00:12:10,879 --> 00:12:14,480 goodman diana bipolar depressive with 161 00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:17,119 delusional episodes 162 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:18,399 16-year history of medication adjustment 163 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,720 after one week 164 00:12:18,399 --> 00:12:22,639 i've got less anxiety but i got 165 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:25,680 headaches a blurry vision and i 166 00:12:22,639 --> 00:12:27,839 can't so we'll try again 167 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:29,278 and eventually we'll get it right not a 168 00:12:27,839 --> 00:12:39,460 very exact science 169 00:12:29,278 --> 00:12:42,360 is it so loft and paxil and abuse 170 00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:45,499 [Applause] 171 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,499 [Music] 172 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:52,379 thank you doctor valium is my favorite 173 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:58,009 color 174 00:12:52,379 --> 00:12:58,009 [Music] 175 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,839 which is also known as the act of 176 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:04,078 creation 177 00:13:01,839 --> 00:13:06,160 oh you're one of those pretentious donor 178 00:13:04,078 --> 00:13:09,199 types that's totally unfair 179 00:13:06,159 --> 00:13:11,919 i'm not pretentious 180 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,560 i don't know definitely not classical 181 00:13:11,919 --> 00:13:15,759 it's so 182 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:17,599 rigid and structured you have to play 183 00:13:15,759 --> 00:13:21,120 the notes on the page 184 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:23,200 there's no room for improvisation right 185 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:24,480 and what did mozart know anyway he 186 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,399 should have just smoked a bowl and 187 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:29,440 jammed them trickle take a little star 188 00:13:26,399 --> 00:13:29,440 yeah let's do that 189 00:13:30,159 --> 00:13:33,600 goodman diana's second adjustment after 190 00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:35,919 three weeks delusions less 191 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:38,159 frequent but the press has stayed worse 192 00:13:35,919 --> 00:13:40,799 i'm nauseous and i'm constipated 193 00:13:38,159 --> 00:13:41,360 completely lost my appetite and gave six 194 00:13:40,799 --> 00:13:48,609 pounds 195 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:50,110 which is just you know not fair 196 00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:51,680 [Applause] 197 00:13:50,110 --> 00:13:56,720 [Music] 198 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:56,719 [Applause] 199 00:14:00,879 --> 00:14:03,838 oh 200 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:12,399 goodman diana third adjustment after 201 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,278 five weeks reports continued mild 202 00:14:12,399 --> 00:14:15,440 anxiety and 203 00:14:13,278 --> 00:14:17,198 some lingering depression i now can't 204 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:20,800 feel my fingers or my toes 205 00:14:17,198 --> 00:14:23,679 i sweat profusely for no reason 206 00:14:20,799 --> 00:14:24,399 i wasted like weeks of practicing here 207 00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:26,399 with you 208 00:14:24,399 --> 00:14:28,078 improvising oscar peterson was 209 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:30,799 classically trained 210 00:14:28,078 --> 00:14:31,838 beethoven did okay miles davis went to 211 00:14:30,799 --> 00:14:36,319 juilliard 212 00:14:31,839 --> 00:14:38,480 mozart wrote poems about farts 213 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,680 fortunately i have absolutely no desire 214 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,959 for sex although 215 00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,879 whether that's the medicine or the 216 00:14:40,958 --> 00:14:46,159 marriage is anybody's guess 217 00:14:42,879 --> 00:14:49,360 sure it's the medicine i'm faithful 218 00:14:46,159 --> 00:14:52,159 it's very sweet but my husband is 219 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,159 waiting in the car 220 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:59,839 who's crazy 221 00:15:02,899 --> 00:15:06,019 [Music] 222 00:15:08,078 --> 00:15:27,349 i was so young and so dumb 223 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:30,428 and now i am 224 00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:30,428 [Applause] 225 00:15:30,570 --> 00:15:33,739 [Music] 226 00:15:38,839 --> 00:15:41,839 it's 227 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:52,019 they say love is blind 228 00:15:50,399 --> 00:15:53,440 but believe me 229 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:57,039 [Music] 230 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:57,040 love is insane 231 00:15:57,278 --> 00:16:03,889 goodman diana seven weeks 232 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:06,320 i don't feel like myself 233 00:16:03,889 --> 00:16:09,519 [Music] 234 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:23,839 i don't feel anything 235 00:16:09,519 --> 00:16:23,839 patient's stable 236 00:16:28,879 --> 00:16:33,360 she's in denial please 237 00:16:35,039 --> 00:16:41,679 dude it's therapeutic right 238 00:16:38,078 --> 00:16:44,239 it's medical marijuana to treat your amd 239 00:16:41,679 --> 00:16:44,239 totally 240 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:50,159 i don't have anything in my mouth that's 241 00:16:47,278 --> 00:16:53,519 on fire yes that's a good 242 00:16:50,159 --> 00:16:54,399 look i i can't do this not with my life 243 00:16:53,519 --> 00:16:57,039 i'm like 244 00:16:54,399 --> 00:16:58,320 one out from disaster your life 245 00:16:57,039 --> 00:17:00,958 isn't a disaster 246 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:05,838 the environment is a disaster sprint is 247 00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:05,838 a disaster 248 00:17:08,818 --> 00:17:13,538 [Music] 249 00:17:14,798 --> 00:17:20,959 i'm trying to tell you i love you what 250 00:17:18,558 --> 00:17:22,160 the world is at war filled with death 251 00:17:20,959 --> 00:17:25,600 and disease 252 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:30,400 we danced from the edge of destruction 253 00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:30,399 the clones came warmer by deadly 254 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:38,720 up debris our planet is pretty much 255 00:17:35,038 --> 00:17:44,558 broken beyond our repair 256 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:44,558 one thing is working if you're standing 257 00:17:44,839 --> 00:17:50,959 there 258 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:54,320 perfect for you i could be perfect for 259 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:58,558 you i might be lazy 260 00:17:54,319 --> 00:18:02,079 loner a bit of a stoner it's true 261 00:17:58,558 --> 00:18:05,678 but i might be perfect 262 00:18:02,079 --> 00:18:13,990 i'll make myself perfect perfect for you 263 00:18:05,679 --> 00:18:16,330 you square all the corners 264 00:18:13,990 --> 00:18:23,150 [Applause] 265 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:23,149 [Music] 266 00:18:24,079 --> 00:18:29,839 i can't fix what's up 267 00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:37,619 [Music] 268 00:18:38,558 --> 00:18:54,368 i can be perfect for 269 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:54,369 [Music] 270 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:59,319 nice house can i uh come in oh my 271 00:18:57,839 --> 00:19:00,959 no 272 00:18:59,319 --> 00:19:03,678 [Music] 273 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:05,679 are you spying on your own daughter when 274 00:19:03,679 --> 00:19:08,840 did she get a boyfriend 275 00:19:05,679 --> 00:19:10,160 how do i miss well you kind of miss a 276 00:19:08,839 --> 00:19:13,119 lot 277 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:14,480 do you think they're involved who knows 278 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:18,319 they're young 279 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:21,440 they're boring it happens 280 00:19:18,319 --> 00:19:22,710 here let's marry me 281 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:27,119 i know where to yell 282 00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:27,119 [Music] 283 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:32,369 [Music] 284 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:39,599 because i know it's not i love you diana 285 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:44,079 i have this baby 286 00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:44,079 damn this is crazy 287 00:19:50,839 --> 00:19:53,839 maybe 288 00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:07,930 [Music] 289 00:20:09,839 --> 00:20:18,399 there was a time when i flew higher 290 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:21,840 was a time the wild girl 291 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,840 run free 292 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:26,720 would be me 293 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:31,038 [Music] 294 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:35,839 now i see her feel the fire 295 00:20:31,038 --> 00:20:38,720 now i know she needs me there 296 00:20:35,839 --> 00:20:38,720 to share 297 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:42,239 i'm nowhere 298 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:51,038 all these blank and tranquil 299 00:20:46,839 --> 00:20:54,319 years seems they've dried up 300 00:20:51,038 --> 00:20:57,599 all my tears 301 00:20:54,319 --> 00:21:11,038 and while she runs free 302 00:20:57,599 --> 00:21:11,038 and fast seems my wild days 303 00:21:14,839 --> 00:21:20,240 but 304 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:20,240 miss the mountains 305 00:21:20,558 --> 00:21:28,879 i miss the dizzy heights 306 00:21:25,279 --> 00:21:31,200 all the manic magic days 307 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,200 and 308 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,749 [Music] 309 00:21:38,470 --> 00:21:42,640 [Music] 310 00:21:42,839 --> 00:21:45,839 is 311 00:21:56,839 --> 00:22:04,389 terrain i 312 00:22:00,079 --> 00:22:09,038 miss the mountains i miss the pain 313 00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:13,840 [Music] 314 00:22:09,038 --> 00:22:13,839 thousands make you crazy 315 00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:20,509 [Music] 316 00:22:24,839 --> 00:22:30,319 is 317 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:33,440 is perfect 318 00:22:30,319 --> 00:22:33,439 nothing's real 319 00:22:35,519 --> 00:22:41,839 nothing's true 320 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,840 through the is 321 00:22:56,240 --> 00:23:09,839 and spending all my time 322 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:09,840 where the air is 323 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:23,839 i miss my 324 00:23:28,558 --> 00:23:46,000 i miss my 325 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:51,840 [Applause] 326 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:51,839 you sure about this moment 327 00:23:58,558 --> 00:24:10,819 nothing if he doesn't know 328 00:24:05,490 --> 00:24:16,839 [Applause] 329 00:24:10,819 --> 00:24:19,839 [Music] 330 00:24:16,839 --> 00:24:19,839 um 331 00:24:24,798 --> 00:24:32,359 two weeks and it's all working just the 332 00:24:26,558 --> 00:24:38,509 way i knew it would work 333 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:41,629 [Music] 334 00:24:38,509 --> 00:24:41,629 [Applause] 335 00:24:47,019 --> 00:24:50,129 [Music] 336 00:24:52,400 --> 00:25:01,840 [Music] 337 00:24:58,839 --> 00:25:01,839 is 338 00:25:02,329 --> 00:25:06,999 [Music] 339 00:25:03,910 --> 00:25:06,999 [Applause] 340 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,298 [Music] 341 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:16,479 we have been going out for nine weeks in 342 00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:19,840 three days 343 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:23,200 you keep count you are so the girl 344 00:25:19,839 --> 00:25:25,439 and natalie and this must be harry and 345 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:29,840 sandra a pleasure to finally meet you 346 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:29,840 why don't you join us 347 00:25:30,029 --> 00:25:33,200 [Music] 348 00:25:40,450 --> 00:25:43,519 [Music] 349 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,339 [Applause] 350 00:25:48,220 --> 00:25:51,338 [Music] 351 00:25:54,839 --> 00:25:57,839 hey 352 00:26:06,859 --> 00:26:12,709 [Music] 353 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:21,120 it's somebody's birthday whose birthday 354 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,120 is it 355 00:26:21,519 --> 00:26:24,720 my brothers i didn't know you had a 356 00:26:24,159 --> 00:26:28,080 brother 357 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:31,278 i don't he 358 00:26:28,079 --> 00:26:31,278 died before i was poor 359 00:26:33,679 --> 00:26:39,840 what what if 360 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:48,079 he's not here he's not 361 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:53,200 here love i 362 00:26:48,079 --> 00:26:58,558 know you know 363 00:26:53,200 --> 00:27:01,819 do you feel he's still real 364 00:26:58,558 --> 00:27:04,079 love it's just not so 365 00:27:01,819 --> 00:27:08,558 [Music] 366 00:27:04,079 --> 00:27:12,278 why is it you still believe 367 00:27:08,558 --> 00:27:15,119 do you dream or do you 368 00:27:12,278 --> 00:27:18,319 grieve you've got to 369 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:18,319 let him go 370 00:27:19,038 --> 00:27:26,720 he's been dead all these 371 00:27:24,038 --> 00:27:30,829 years know 372 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:32,839 my love he's not here 373 00:27:30,829 --> 00:27:35,759 [Music] 374 00:27:32,839 --> 00:27:39,519 language stop this it was 375 00:27:35,759 --> 00:27:39,519 uh wonderful to meet you both 376 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:56,558 what about the new meds 377 00:27:49,529 --> 00:27:56,558 [Music] 378 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:07,038 i know this is hard do you know 379 00:28:04,319 --> 00:28:08,639 what exactly you know i know you're 380 00:28:07,038 --> 00:28:11,919 hurting 381 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:14,640 so am i do you wake up 382 00:28:11,919 --> 00:28:15,360 in the morning i need help to lift your 383 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:18,880 head 384 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:22,000 do you read obituaries and feel jealous 385 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,720 of the dead it's like living on a slick 386 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,919 side 387 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:31,200 not knowing when you'll die do you know 388 00:28:25,919 --> 00:28:31,200 do you know what it's like to die alive 389 00:28:32,579 --> 00:28:44,480 [Music] 390 00:28:41,359 --> 00:28:59,839 i know say 391 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:59,839 that you're hurting 392 00:29:09,519 --> 00:29:13,519 but to never hit the ground it just 393 00:29:12,398 --> 00:29:16,479 keeps on rolling 394 00:29:13,519 --> 00:29:17,679 at you they might think my name my day 395 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:25,900 you don't know 396 00:29:17,679 --> 00:29:31,038 you don't know what it is 397 00:29:25,900 --> 00:29:33,919 [Music] 398 00:29:31,038 --> 00:29:33,919 can you tell me 399 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,798 what it is you're afraid of 400 00:29:39,599 --> 00:29:45,439 can you tell me why i'm afraid it's me 401 00:29:45,599 --> 00:29:48,480 can i touch you 402 00:29:49,278 --> 00:29:57,278 we've been fine for so long now 403 00:29:54,159 --> 00:30:00,720 how could something go wrong that i 404 00:29:57,278 --> 00:30:02,880 can't see cause i'm holding 405 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:02,880 on 406 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:11,200 and i won't let go 407 00:30:07,839 --> 00:30:14,319 just thought you should know i 408 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:15,120 am the one who knows you i am the one 409 00:30:14,319 --> 00:30:19,839 who cares 410 00:30:15,119 --> 00:30:19,839 i am the one who's always been there 411 00:30:20,558 --> 00:30:24,798 i am the one who's helped you and now 412 00:30:23,599 --> 00:30:28,158 you think that i 413 00:30:24,798 --> 00:30:29,200 just don't give a damn then you just 414 00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:32,000 don't know 415 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,000 who i am 416 00:30:34,558 --> 00:30:39,170 could you 417 00:30:36,089 --> 00:30:39,169 [Applause] 418 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:46,880 [Music] 419 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:51,840 would you watch as i drown and wonder 420 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:51,840 why you 421 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,048 [Music] 422 00:30:58,819 --> 00:31:01,858 [Music] 423 00:31:07,679 --> 00:31:19,840 tell me 424 00:31:27,119 --> 00:31:30,219 [Applause] 425 00:31:31,519 --> 00:31:34,578 [Music] 426 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:47,200 that's who i am 427 00:31:46,019 --> 00:31:50,410 [Applause] 428 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:51,679 that's who i am 429 00:31:50,410 --> 00:32:01,840 [Applause] 430 00:31:51,679 --> 00:32:01,840 cause i'm holding off 431 00:32:03,859 --> 00:32:07,669 [Applause] 432 00:32:12,420 --> 00:32:18,150 [Music] 433 00:32:14,980 --> 00:32:21,308 [Applause] 434 00:32:18,150 --> 00:32:21,309 [Music] 435 00:32:26,839 --> 00:32:35,568 oh 436 00:32:29,309 --> 00:32:35,568 [Music] 437 00:32:36,039 --> 00:32:51,440 [Applause] 438 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,839 when she gets like this she's useless 439 00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:56,000 can't 440 00:32:51,839 --> 00:32:57,918 use a phone can't drive yeah 441 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,278 i mean not that i would go there that 442 00:32:57,919 --> 00:33:01,840 shit's in order 443 00:32:59,278 --> 00:33:02,558 and totally ineffective apparently i'm 444 00:33:01,839 --> 00:33:04,879 old school 445 00:33:02,558 --> 00:33:06,158 dying green all the preppies and jocks 446 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:06,960 are reading their parents medicine 447 00:33:06,159 --> 00:33:09,360 cabinets and 448 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:11,038 popping xanax and snorting adderall 449 00:33:09,359 --> 00:33:13,359 really 450 00:33:11,038 --> 00:33:15,278 i'm the master of the lost art making a 451 00:33:13,359 --> 00:33:25,839 pipe out of an apple 452 00:33:15,278 --> 00:33:25,839 yeah you're going to guys 453 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:39,839 he's a hero 454 00:33:48,039 --> 00:33:53,839 [Music] 455 00:33:49,119 --> 00:33:53,839 i wish 456 00:33:54,619 --> 00:34:00,079 [Music] 457 00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:04,269 i wish i could fly 458 00:34:00,079 --> 00:34:14,248 i'd fly far away from here 459 00:34:04,269 --> 00:34:14,248 [Music] 460 00:34:15,358 --> 00:34:23,358 he's not here i am 461 00:34:20,260 --> 00:34:23,359 [Music] 462 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:35,839 you know i love you 463 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:35,838 i love you as much as i can 464 00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:41,919 [Music] 465 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:44,480 take a look at the invisible girl 466 00:34:41,918 --> 00:34:44,480 here she 467 00:34:44,969 --> 00:34:51,679 [Music] 468 00:34:47,119 --> 00:34:51,679 her is she fades away 469 00:34:52,398 --> 00:35:03,838 to her boys 470 00:35:04,199 --> 00:35:06,849 [Applause] 471 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,350 [Music] 472 00:35:06,849 --> 00:35:08,989 [Applause] 473 00:35:08,349 --> 00:35:12,829 [Music] 474 00:35:08,989 --> 00:35:14,838 [Applause] 475 00:35:12,829 --> 00:35:16,349 [Music] 476 00:35:14,838 --> 00:35:17,630 is 477 00:35:16,349 --> 00:35:18,349 [Applause] 478 00:35:17,630 --> 00:35:29,440 [Music] 479 00:35:18,349 --> 00:35:32,319 [Applause] 480 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:33,838 let's not get discouraged we'll find a 481 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,440 doctor who will treat you without the 482 00:35:33,838 --> 00:35:38,239 drugs 483 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:39,519 there's somebody out there for you in 484 00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:41,919 the depression chat rooms 485 00:35:39,519 --> 00:35:43,199 they say it's like big you just have to 486 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,159 keep going until you find the right 487 00:35:43,199 --> 00:35:47,199 match 488 00:35:44,159 --> 00:35:48,000 they have depression challenge and this 489 00:35:47,199 --> 00:35:51,519 doctor 490 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:53,039 supposed to be amazing a real rock star 491 00:35:51,519 --> 00:35:55,280 three different ladies at the office 492 00:35:53,039 --> 00:35:57,039 gave me his name 493 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:59,839 three different women at work no i'm 494 00:35:57,039 --> 00:35:59,838 nuts 495 00:36:01,039 --> 00:36:03,519 diana 496 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,358 right this way 497 00:36:13,250 --> 00:36:16,349 [Applause] 498 00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:27,838 welcome have a seat 499 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:43,519 it's nice 500 00:36:40,079 --> 00:36:45,680 i'm sorry what did you say i said let's 501 00:36:43,519 --> 00:36:48,880 get started 502 00:36:45,679 --> 00:36:53,679 are you nervous i am i 503 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:53,680 am a little without a breath 504 00:36:56,559 --> 00:37:02,320 now you go um well let's get started by 505 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,838 getting to know each other a bit 506 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:06,640 psychotherapy and medication 507 00:37:03,838 --> 00:37:07,519 often work best in canada but we can try 508 00:37:06,639 --> 00:37:10,159 the first alone 509 00:37:07,519 --> 00:37:22,000 and see how far we can ah now why don't 510 00:37:10,159 --> 00:37:25,199 you tell me 511 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:28,079 [Music] 512 00:37:25,199 --> 00:37:28,078 my history 513 00:37:28,559 --> 00:37:35,039 oh okay i was 514 00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:35,039 diagnosed bipolar 515 00:37:35,199 --> 00:37:40,480 16 years ago but it turned out bipolar 516 00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:42,719 didn't totally cover it 517 00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,599 well often the best we can do is put 518 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,358 names on 519 00:37:43,599 --> 00:37:47,440 collections of symptoms it's possible 520 00:37:45,358 --> 00:37:51,519 bipolar has more in common with 521 00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:54,079 schizophrenia than depression when i was 522 00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:55,358 young my mother called me high spirited 523 00:37:54,079 --> 00:37:57,119 she would know 524 00:37:55,358 --> 00:37:59,759 she was so high spirited they banned her 525 00:37:57,119 --> 00:38:02,079 from the pta 526 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,440 well sometimes there is a predisposition 527 00:38:02,079 --> 00:38:06,800 to illness but 528 00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:09,679 actual onset is triggered by some 529 00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:09,680 traumatic event 530 00:38:10,159 --> 00:38:13,358 i never know what to say when i have to 531 00:38:11,599 --> 00:38:15,200 go over all this 532 00:38:13,358 --> 00:38:16,960 it starts to sound like some story i 533 00:38:15,199 --> 00:38:18,960 tell it's about some other person 534 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:22,079 entirely 535 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:25,358 well why don't you tell me 536 00:38:22,079 --> 00:38:28,480 about the last time that you 537 00:38:25,358 --> 00:38:28,480 truly felt happy 538 00:38:29,519 --> 00:38:35,119 were you happy when you got married i 539 00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,160 thought i was so there's a difference 540 00:38:35,119 --> 00:38:38,079 between 541 00:38:36,159 --> 00:38:39,838 being happy and just thinking you're 542 00:38:38,079 --> 00:38:42,000 happy 543 00:38:39,838 --> 00:38:44,239 most people who think they're happy just 544 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:46,079 have a thought 545 00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:49,358 most people who think they're happy are 546 00:38:46,079 --> 00:38:49,359 actually just stupid 547 00:38:49,838 --> 00:38:54,279 i see were you happy when your son was 548 00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:57,519 born 549 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,519 [Music] 550 00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:14,500 tell me my son 551 00:39:01,679 --> 00:39:22,478 why is he still around who is 552 00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:22,478 [Music] 553 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:47,519 you 554 00:39:28,130 --> 00:39:47,519 [Music] 555 00:39:48,559 --> 00:40:09,358 my fears 556 00:39:56,150 --> 00:40:11,920 [Music] 557 00:40:09,358 --> 00:40:12,719 he's never going away i don't know 558 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,079 family 559 00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:15,838 you know this is one of those moments 560 00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:20,560 where you can just be a typical parent 561 00:40:15,838 --> 00:40:20,559 and lie and say yes yes 562 00:40:22,838 --> 00:40:25,838 thanks 563 00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:31,279 [Music] 564 00:40:31,358 --> 00:40:35,199 you know natalie i'll hear you it's not 565 00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:39,838 always about 566 00:40:35,199 --> 00:40:39,838 your comfort i know 567 00:40:44,159 --> 00:40:52,000 [Music] 568 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:56,400 as always 569 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:58,000 can't change me i'm the perfect stranger 570 00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:02,960 who knows you too 571 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:04,960 well but i'm alive i'm alive 572 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:07,838 and i'll tell you the truth if you let 573 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,838 me try 574 00:41:10,900 --> 00:41:35,838 [Music] 575 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:35,839 i'm alive 576 00:41:38,619 --> 00:41:46,319 [Music] 577 00:41:46,960 --> 00:42:03,838 that i will find you 578 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:07,879 [Music] 579 00:42:12,079 --> 00:42:16,639 [Music] 580 00:42:14,838 --> 00:42:31,838 is 581 00:42:16,639 --> 00:42:31,838 i'll never die i'm alive 582 00:42:39,119 --> 00:42:43,179 [Music] 583 00:42:42,889 --> 00:42:45,239 [Applause] 584 00:42:43,179 --> 00:42:48,309 [Music] 585 00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,309 [Applause] 586 00:42:53,838 --> 00:42:58,400 so it's been four weeks and i'd like to 587 00:42:56,318 --> 00:43:01,440 try something new today 588 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:05,519 sometimes when these stories can be 589 00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:08,639 hard to tell hypnosis can be helpful 590 00:43:05,519 --> 00:43:12,719 oh i don't think i could be hypnotized 591 00:43:08,639 --> 00:43:15,838 i mean it's fine i'm just not the type 592 00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:18,318 put your hands in your lap and your feet 593 00:43:15,838 --> 00:43:18,318 on the floor 594 00:43:21,750 --> 00:43:27,838 [Music] 595 00:43:24,838 --> 00:43:27,838 breathe 596 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:42,719 should we turn on the light 597 00:43:39,110 --> 00:43:42,719 [Music] 598 00:43:50,639 --> 00:44:09,838 there's a door it's a door that you've 599 00:43:53,280 --> 00:44:09,839 never laid eyes on before 600 00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:15,358 can you hear me 601 00:44:16,079 --> 00:44:18,318 yes 602 00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:25,598 are you still nervous 603 00:44:25,679 --> 00:44:27,838 no 604 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:35,599 good now make up your mind to explore 605 00:44:34,079 --> 00:44:38,318 yourself 606 00:44:35,599 --> 00:44:39,200 make up your mind you have stories to 607 00:44:38,318 --> 00:44:41,358 tell 608 00:44:39,199 --> 00:44:42,879 while searching your past for what 609 00:44:41,358 --> 00:44:46,250 sorrows may last 610 00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:47,760 then make up your mind to be well 611 00:44:46,250 --> 00:44:50,318 [Music] 612 00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:51,090 die you come home from these sessions in 613 00:44:50,318 --> 00:44:54,199 tears 614 00:44:51,090 --> 00:44:54,199 [Music] 615 00:44:54,318 --> 00:44:58,318 die die 616 00:44:59,679 --> 00:45:05,598 we were both underground architecture 617 00:45:03,838 --> 00:45:07,920 the baby wasn't planned 618 00:45:05,599 --> 00:45:08,960 maybe there was a marriage i thought i 619 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:11,599 was expected to be 620 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:14,318 too busy but when the baby came and all 621 00:45:11,599 --> 00:45:18,480 seemed to make sense until 622 00:45:14,318 --> 00:45:18,480 until he's not here 623 00:45:24,969 --> 00:45:28,059 [Music] 624 00:45:31,969 --> 00:45:35,250 [Applause] 625 00:45:36,199 --> 00:45:39,250 [Music] 626 00:45:40,318 --> 00:45:47,838 talking through your history 627 00:45:48,639 --> 00:45:51,739 [Applause] 628 00:45:52,489 --> 00:45:56,129 [Music] 629 00:45:57,199 --> 00:46:00,318 hey i know i'm not supposed to be 630 00:45:59,119 --> 00:46:02,480 backstage but 631 00:46:00,318 --> 00:46:03,519 for luck did you see my parents out 632 00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:06,880 there um 633 00:46:03,519 --> 00:46:07,759 are you okay fine my dad said they'd 634 00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:12,400 both be here 635 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:12,400 i'm sure they will be will they 636 00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:21,200 we have natalie too and i know she knows 637 00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:22,720 i couldn't hold her in the hospital 638 00:46:21,199 --> 00:46:25,439 where the hell are they 639 00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:28,299 i couldn't let myself hold her that's 640 00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:39,050 the first time you've mentioned 641 00:46:28,300 --> 00:46:39,050 [Music] 642 00:46:40,838 --> 00:46:54,239 god 643 00:46:42,139 --> 00:46:54,239 [Music] 644 00:47:01,519 --> 00:47:06,559 thank you for coming natalie 645 00:47:08,838 --> 00:47:13,039 goodman 646 00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:15,440 [Applause] 647 00:47:13,039 --> 00:47:17,279 now let's try to think about what all of 648 00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:20,079 this is doing to you 649 00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:20,079 and your family 650 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:29,280 your grief 651 00:47:25,039 --> 00:47:34,079 for your son your distance from natalie 652 00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:39,119 i'm sorry it's just um 653 00:47:34,079 --> 00:47:41,119 the thing is um 654 00:47:39,119 --> 00:47:42,559 you know what the problem with classical 655 00:47:41,119 --> 00:47:45,920 is 656 00:47:42,559 --> 00:47:48,240 it's so rigid and structured 657 00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:50,559 you have to play the notes on the page 658 00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:53,838 there's no room for improvisation 659 00:47:50,559 --> 00:47:53,839 oh no 660 00:47:56,420 --> 00:47:59,659 [Applause] 661 00:47:59,909 --> 00:48:02,980 [Music] 662 00:48:03,510 --> 00:48:06,609 [Applause] 663 00:48:08,989 --> 00:48:14,079 [Music] 664 00:48:14,318 --> 00:48:21,838 can lead to depression 665 00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:35,838 the more you hold on to something you 666 00:48:23,599 --> 00:48:35,838 love yeah 667 00:48:37,570 --> 00:48:43,830 [Music] 668 00:48:46,239 --> 00:48:49,279 wouldn't you like to go home maybe clear 669 00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:51,838 out 670 00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:53,680 these things maybe spend some time with 671 00:48:51,838 --> 00:48:57,119 your daughter 672 00:48:53,679 --> 00:49:00,879 and let your son go 673 00:48:57,119 --> 00:49:03,838 at last um should we go 674 00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,838 yes 675 00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:19,389 yes i will 676 00:49:16,179 --> 00:49:19,389 [Music] 677 00:49:22,429 --> 00:49:31,649 [Music] 678 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:40,418 this is a good guy it's a good step 679 00:49:31,650 --> 00:49:40,418 [Music] 680 00:49:56,289 --> 00:50:12,250 [Music] 681 00:50:10,838 --> 00:50:38,670 is 682 00:50:12,250 --> 00:50:38,670 [Music] 683 00:50:38,838 --> 00:50:54,159 is 684 00:50:41,329 --> 00:50:54,159 [Music] 685 00:50:57,690 --> 00:51:04,800 [Music] 686 00:51:03,559 --> 00:51:08,150 stars 687 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:17,860 i go the night 688 00:51:08,150 --> 00:51:17,860 [Music] 689 00:51:18,159 --> 00:51:23,838 the dancers may disappear 690 00:51:25,730 --> 00:51:31,449 [Music] 691 00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:51,838 [Music] 692 00:51:48,838 --> 00:51:51,838 is 693 00:51:53,590 --> 00:51:57,650 [Music] 694 00:51:56,519 --> 00:52:15,239 so 695 00:51:57,650 --> 00:52:19,838 [Music] 696 00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:19,838 dance with 697 00:52:25,610 --> 00:52:28,800 [Music] 698 00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:32,880 a face we 699 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,150 [Music] 700 00:52:39,838 --> 00:52:47,838 there's a world where the sun shines 701 00:52:44,318 --> 00:52:47,838 each day 702 00:52:49,179 --> 00:52:52,349 [Music] 703 00:52:56,630 --> 00:53:15,110 [Music] 704 00:52:59,358 --> 00:53:23,469 you guys 705 00:53:15,110 --> 00:53:23,469 [Music] 706 00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:31,519 goodman diane 707 00:53:28,460 --> 00:53:31,519 [Music] 708 00:53:32,639 --> 00:53:45,920 discovered unconscious at home 709 00:53:43,838 --> 00:53:48,480 multiple razor wounds to wrists and 710 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,480 forearms 711 00:53:53,190 --> 00:53:57,679 [Music] 712 00:53:54,838 --> 00:54:00,318 self-inflicted 713 00:53:57,679 --> 00:54:01,440 saline rents sutures scars iv 714 00:54:00,318 --> 00:54:11,039 antibiotics 715 00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:14,559 isolated sedated and restrained damaged 716 00:54:11,039 --> 00:54:18,318 ect is indicated 717 00:54:14,559 --> 00:54:21,440 wow i mean they still do that 718 00:54:18,318 --> 00:54:23,199 we do yes it's the standard in cases 719 00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:24,000 like this she's got a long history of 720 00:54:23,199 --> 00:54:27,039 drug therapy 721 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:29,519 and resistance she's acutely suicidal 722 00:54:27,039 --> 00:54:30,880 it's really our best option that's kind 723 00:54:29,519 --> 00:54:33,039 of terrifying 724 00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:35,519 it's not the electricity involved is 725 00:54:33,039 --> 00:54:39,679 barely enough to light a 100 watt bulb 726 00:54:35,519 --> 00:54:42,400 oh i mean if it's only 100 watt hole 727 00:54:39,679 --> 00:54:44,879 it's safer than crossing the street and 728 00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:49,358 the short-term success rate is over 80 729 00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:53,039 i thought she was better sometimes 730 00:54:49,358 --> 00:54:56,159 patients recover just enough strength to 731 00:54:53,039 --> 00:54:56,480 follow through on suicidal impulses but 732 00:54:56,159 --> 00:55:00,879 not 733 00:54:56,480 --> 00:55:04,838 enough strength to resist them well 734 00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:08,000 that seems very 735 00:55:04,838 --> 00:55:10,798 yeah this illegally we need her consent 736 00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:13,199 and hospital policy is we need yours too 737 00:55:10,798 --> 00:55:16,559 i don't think she's going to go for this 738 00:55:13,199 --> 00:55:19,679 mr gibbon we can administer the ect 739 00:55:16,559 --> 00:55:20,240 and you can bring her home in 10 days or 740 00:55:19,679 --> 00:55:22,719 we can 741 00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:23,598 keep her sedated for 48 hours discharge 742 00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:27,199 her 743 00:55:23,599 --> 00:55:30,720 and then wait for her to try again 744 00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:35,439 listen just go home 745 00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:35,439 okay take the night and talk to them 746 00:55:47,199 --> 00:55:52,078 standing in his room and i wonder what 747 00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:55,440 comes down 748 00:55:52,079 --> 00:55:56,960 i know i have to help her but hell if i 749 00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:59,519 know how 750 00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,480 and all the times that i've been told 751 00:55:59,519 --> 00:56:04,400 the way her 752 00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:08,318 illness goes the truth of it is no one 753 00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:10,880 really knows and every day 754 00:56:08,318 --> 00:56:12,079 this act we act gets more and more 755 00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:14,640 absurd 756 00:56:12,079 --> 00:56:15,440 and all my fears just sit inside me 757 00:56:14,639 --> 00:56:18,879 screaming 758 00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:22,000 to be heard i know they won't know 759 00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:25,519 not a single word 760 00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:30,960 i was here at her side when she called 761 00:56:25,519 --> 00:56:30,960 when she cried how could she leave me 762 00:56:32,329 --> 00:56:35,869 [Music] 763 00:56:43,039 --> 00:56:46,159 goes to lying 764 00:56:46,400 --> 00:57:06,820 i keep my feet right on the ground 765 00:56:57,869 --> 00:57:06,819 [Music] 766 00:57:10,838 --> 00:57:13,838 hey 767 00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:41,839 now i'm strolling right beside her as 768 00:57:28,318 --> 00:57:41,838 the black hole opens wide 769 00:57:43,119 --> 00:57:47,369 [Music] 770 00:57:47,838 --> 00:57:52,318 but it's the worst we've ever known 771 00:57:52,960 --> 00:58:09,838 she's been hurt and i can't 772 00:57:56,159 --> 00:58:09,838 give up 773 00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:23,838 could never be 774 00:58:27,199 --> 00:58:32,960 dad why are you taking with you 775 00:58:30,639 --> 00:58:34,960 we don't see a lot of you these days is 776 00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:37,838 this henry a good influence 777 00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:37,838 like compared to what 778 00:58:38,159 --> 00:58:43,118 okay fair the after effects are minimal 779 00:58:41,599 --> 00:58:44,960 you'll feel a bit like you have a 780 00:58:43,119 --> 00:58:47,519 hangover 781 00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:49,358 it causes brain damage your mother's in 782 00:58:47,519 --> 00:58:53,119 for a new treatment 783 00:58:49,358 --> 00:58:58,400 ect okay elemental heat 784 00:58:53,119 --> 00:59:01,119 what is that electroconvulsive therapy 785 00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:02,400 shock therapy now some patients report 786 00:59:01,119 --> 00:59:04,079 some memory loss but 787 00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:05,519 it's usually not much how do you know 788 00:59:04,079 --> 00:59:06,798 how much memory you've lost you've 789 00:59:05,519 --> 00:59:09,920 already lost it 790 00:59:06,798 --> 00:59:11,519 you're kidding right dad that's 791 00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:13,920 language patients have said it's like 792 00:59:11,519 --> 00:59:16,559 becoming a new person it's she 793 00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:16,559 trusts you 794 00:59:16,838 --> 00:59:19,838 natalie 795 00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:26,289 [Applause] 796 00:59:30,838 --> 00:59:33,838 is 797 00:59:35,309 --> 00:59:38,429 [Music] 798 00:59:43,199 --> 00:59:46,719 is clean and simple hundreds of 799 00:59:44,960 --> 01:00:00,220 thousands of patients receive it 800 00:59:46,719 --> 01:00:03,359 every year 801 01:00:00,219 --> 01:00:03,359 [Music] 802 01:00:08,719 --> 01:00:15,838 i know 803 01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:43,838 and says 804 01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:43,838 if i've seen this 805 01:00:45,940 --> 01:01:01,280 [Music] 806 01:00:56,079 --> 01:01:06,480 one light shines in the drive 807 01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:11,119 one single sign that our house is alive 808 01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:15,920 our house our own 809 01:01:11,119 --> 01:01:19,200 so why do i live there alone 810 01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:23,119 tell me why i 811 01:01:19,199 --> 01:01:27,039 wait through the night and why do i 812 01:01:23,119 --> 01:01:30,640 live on the light 813 01:01:27,039 --> 01:01:33,838 you know i 814 01:01:30,639 --> 01:01:37,279 know our house was a home 815 01:01:33,838 --> 01:01:41,759 long ago take this 816 01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:45,519 chance cause it made me our last 817 01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:49,599 to be free to let go 818 01:01:45,519 --> 01:01:52,719 of the past and to try 819 01:01:49,599 --> 01:01:56,000 to be husband and wife to let 820 01:01:52,719 --> 01:01:59,598 love never lie and to just live 821 01:01:56,000 --> 01:02:04,639 our lives take my hand 822 01:01:59,599 --> 01:02:21,838 and let me take your heart keep it far 823 01:02:04,639 --> 01:02:21,838 from what keeps us apart 824 01:02:22,639 --> 01:02:26,500 [Music] 825 01:02:30,798 --> 01:02:37,358 like nothing i know 826 01:02:34,159 --> 01:02:38,339 i can't get through this 827 01:02:37,358 --> 01:02:41,519 alone 828 01:02:38,340 --> 01:02:44,720 [Music] 829 01:02:41,519 --> 01:02:44,719 take this chance 830 01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:50,640 [Music] 831 01:02:47,358 --> 01:02:54,078 somewhere far from what 832 01:02:50,639 --> 01:02:55,038 keeps us apart and i swear that 833 01:02:54,079 --> 01:03:03,200 somewhere 834 01:02:55,039 --> 01:03:17,420 in the night there's a lot 835 01:03:03,199 --> 01:03:28,838 a light in the dark 836 01:03:17,420 --> 01:03:31,838 [Music] 837 01:03:28,838 --> 01:03:31,838 so 838 01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:38,659 [Applause] 839 01:03:42,838 --> 01:03:59,838 is um 840 01:04:10,719 --> 01:04:14,959 no you're strictly a do-it-yourselfer 841 01:04:15,519 --> 01:04:18,719 and our anesthesiologist now just 842 01:04:17,679 --> 01:04:21,118 breathe normally 843 01:04:18,719 --> 01:04:22,239 relax count backwards from 100 and by 844 01:04:21,119 --> 01:04:24,318 the time you use one 845 01:04:22,239 --> 01:04:26,000 you'll be asleep when you wake your day 846 01:04:24,318 --> 01:04:28,318 experience muscle stiffness 847 01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:29,139 disorientation but don't worry it's 848 01:04:28,318 --> 01:04:30,480 completely normal 849 01:04:29,139 --> 01:04:40,170 [Music] 850 01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:42,969 there i am 851 01:04:40,170 --> 01:04:45,230 [Music] 852 01:04:42,969 --> 01:05:00,789 [Applause] 853 01:04:45,230 --> 01:05:01,840 [Music] 854 01:05:00,789 --> 01:05:06,838 [Applause] 855 01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:09,838 [Music] 856 01:05:06,838 --> 01:05:09,838 well 857 01:05:15,199 --> 01:05:23,838 and they told me it would change 858 01:05:25,519 --> 01:05:40,429 this is 859 01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:40,429 [Music] 860 01:05:44,590 --> 01:05:56,780 [Applause] 861 01:05:48,150 --> 01:05:56,780 [Music] 862 01:06:06,909 --> 01:06:12,980 [Music] 863 01:06:16,838 --> 01:06:21,509 is 864 01:06:18,070 --> 01:06:21,510 [Music] 865 01:06:30,838 --> 01:06:33,838 electricity 866 01:06:43,539 --> 01:06:47,279 [Music] 867 01:06:45,280 --> 01:07:01,839 everything is different now i know what 868 01:06:47,280 --> 01:07:01,839 you mean 869 01:07:05,739 --> 01:07:11,949 [Applause] 870 01:07:12,739 --> 01:07:19,098 [Music] 871 01:07:21,980 --> 01:07:25,090 [Music] 872 01:07:26,838 --> 01:07:31,358 is 873 01:07:29,599 --> 01:07:43,838 it's like the fifth night in a row i had 874 01:07:31,358 --> 01:07:43,838 to pick you up at some random club 875 01:07:44,239 --> 01:07:50,879 damn it's been two weeks 876 01:07:47,519 --> 01:07:57,838 it's time to go home home 877 01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:57,838 don't talk just relax 878 01:07:59,239 --> 01:08:04,779 [Music] 879 01:08:05,838 --> 01:08:12,480 okay you can go i'm like 880 01:08:09,199 --> 01:08:12,480 percent less messed up now 881 01:08:13,358 --> 01:08:18,960 seriously my dad's gonna be hall of fame 882 01:08:17,439 --> 01:08:20,479 he's bringing my mom from the hospital 883 01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:21,359 this morning and you don't want to be 884 01:08:20,479 --> 01:08:24,238 here 885 01:08:21,359 --> 01:08:24,239 will you call me 886 01:08:29,210 --> 01:08:39,949 [Music] 887 01:08:37,520 --> 01:08:43,120 wish i were here 888 01:08:39,949 --> 01:08:46,880 [Music] 889 01:08:43,119 --> 01:08:50,800 wish i were 890 01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:50,800 [Applause] 891 01:08:50,838 --> 01:08:54,399 here 892 01:08:52,819 --> 01:08:58,560 [Music] 893 01:08:54,399 --> 01:09:02,000 we're here wow 894 01:08:58,560 --> 01:09:07,120 you look great oh 895 01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:10,560 thank you and who are you 896 01:09:07,119 --> 01:09:14,798 who am i but i am 897 01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:18,560 this is now your daughter 898 01:09:14,798 --> 01:09:22,960 oh of course 899 01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:22,960 and this is our house 900 01:09:23,520 --> 01:09:30,239 diana you don't 901 01:09:26,880 --> 01:09:31,770 you don't remember any of this 902 01:09:30,238 --> 01:09:33,278 i sure right 903 01:09:31,770 --> 01:09:36,319 [Music] 904 01:09:33,279 --> 01:09:40,080 this house and all these rooms 905 01:09:36,319 --> 01:09:40,080 last christmas or last 906 01:09:40,510 --> 01:09:51,119 [Music] 907 01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:52,239 the year the walls all this glass and 908 01:09:51,119 --> 01:09:55,679 wood 909 01:09:52,238 --> 01:10:00,879 you don't recall i wish 910 01:09:55,679 --> 01:10:05,039 i could our house on walton way 911 01:10:00,880 --> 01:10:05,039 the house with the red door 912 01:10:05,198 --> 01:10:17,839 our trip to central pain 913 01:10:08,238 --> 01:10:17,839 the whole week a downpour 914 01:10:26,479 --> 01:10:30,459 [Music] 915 01:10:28,399 --> 01:10:33,639 things were 916 01:10:30,460 --> 01:10:33,640 [Music] 917 01:10:35,119 --> 01:10:39,840 of times that you never knew 918 01:10:41,439 --> 01:10:45,599 sing of not remembering 919 01:10:51,109 --> 01:10:59,039 [Music] 920 01:10:56,840 --> 01:11:02,079 again 921 01:10:59,039 --> 01:11:06,319 that day our child was born 922 01:11:02,079 --> 01:11:09,359 our baby girls first cried 923 01:11:06,319 --> 01:11:12,859 that grave risley born 924 01:11:09,359 --> 01:11:15,938 i've never felt so 925 01:11:12,859 --> 01:11:15,938 [Music] 926 01:11:20,319 --> 01:11:26,399 but that's 19 years 927 01:11:24,399 --> 01:11:29,279 that dr mitchell said there might be 928 01:11:26,399 --> 01:11:29,279 some memory loss 929 01:11:29,679 --> 01:11:41,609 dr madden oh no 930 01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:50,740 see there you go 931 01:11:41,609 --> 01:11:50,739 [Music] 932 01:11:53,420 --> 01:12:03,170 [Music] 933 01:12:05,189 --> 01:12:09,839 [Music] 934 01:12:06,840 --> 01:12:09,840 things 935 01:12:13,460 --> 01:12:22,569 [Music] 936 01:12:20,399 --> 01:12:24,479 i'm not remembering when 937 01:12:22,569 --> 01:12:35,889 [Music] 938 01:12:24,479 --> 01:12:39,028 of memories 939 01:12:35,890 --> 01:12:39,029 [Music] 940 01:12:48,840 --> 01:12:51,840 again 941 01:12:58,819 --> 01:13:02,539 [Music] 942 01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:05,840 hey 943 01:13:12,640 --> 01:13:23,760 it's been weeks 944 01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:26,920 hey have you been on the scene 945 01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:30,840 cause you look like a mess 946 01:13:26,920 --> 01:13:33,840 [Music] 947 01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:33,840 thanks 948 01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:43,750 [Applause] 949 01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:47,840 okay 950 01:13:56,670 --> 01:14:01,359 [Music] 951 01:13:58,840 --> 01:14:05,039 hey say 952 01:14:01,359 --> 01:14:08,880 will you come to this dance 953 01:14:05,039 --> 01:14:12,560 it's some spring formal dance 954 01:14:08,880 --> 01:14:16,079 it's march 1st and it's cheese 955 01:14:12,560 --> 01:14:29,840 but it's fun and it's free 956 01:14:16,079 --> 01:14:29,840 i don't do dances 957 01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:44,960 natalie wait 958 01:14:42,560 --> 01:14:46,480 so this much loss is rare but it has 959 01:14:44,960 --> 01:14:48,399 been reported and maybe partly 960 01:14:46,479 --> 01:14:49,678 psychogenic at times like this the brain 961 01:14:48,399 --> 01:14:51,519 tends to repress 962 01:14:49,679 --> 01:14:53,520 troubling memories but they're there 963 01:14:51,520 --> 01:14:55,600 somewhere and they tend to return and 964 01:14:53,520 --> 01:14:58,800 fits and starts it's been two weeks 965 01:14:55,600 --> 01:15:02,079 a little loss of memory is normal 966 01:14:58,800 --> 01:15:04,079 and helpful in forgetting all her fears 967 01:15:02,079 --> 01:15:05,439 i couldn't give a flying what's 968 01:15:04,079 --> 01:15:08,000 normal 969 01:15:05,439 --> 01:15:08,719 we haven't had a normal day in years 970 01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:10,640 diana 971 01:15:08,719 --> 01:15:12,319 are things becoming clearer with the 972 01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:15,039 treatment 973 01:15:12,319 --> 01:15:15,599 is life less cloudy than it was before 974 01:15:15,039 --> 01:15:17,439 yes 975 01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:18,960 do you still feel your head is filled 976 01:15:17,439 --> 01:15:23,439 with concrete 977 01:15:18,960 --> 01:15:26,719 no and you're not a scary rock star 978 01:15:23,439 --> 01:15:31,759 anymore okay 979 01:15:26,719 --> 01:15:34,640 great what about your memories 980 01:15:31,760 --> 01:15:36,960 the memories are there somewhere find 981 01:15:34,640 --> 01:15:39,520 some pictures you can share 982 01:15:36,960 --> 01:15:40,319 keepsakes of the life that's there 983 01:15:39,520 --> 01:15:43,679 behind 984 01:15:40,319 --> 01:15:46,880 her should i bring up the subject of 985 01:15:43,679 --> 01:15:47,520 yes but keep it light at first that's 986 01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:50,560 best 987 01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:53,040 careful that she's not distressed when 988 01:15:50,560 --> 01:15:56,610 the time's right tell the rest 989 01:15:53,039 --> 01:16:04,840 remind her you'll find 990 01:15:56,609 --> 01:16:07,630 [Music] 991 01:16:04,840 --> 01:16:09,279 her 992 01:16:07,630 --> 01:16:12,079 [Music] 993 01:16:09,279 --> 01:16:13,599 so let's start with something small 994 01:16:12,079 --> 01:16:17,198 something personal 995 01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:21,199 and pretty i bet you all know these 996 01:16:17,198 --> 01:16:24,799 shiny things they must be 997 01:16:21,198 --> 01:16:32,639 tacky trinkets for my next atlantic city 998 01:16:24,800 --> 01:16:34,310 no actually die there are wedding rings 999 01:16:32,640 --> 01:16:38,119 it was 1000 01:16:34,310 --> 01:16:38,119 [Music] 1001 01:16:40,399 --> 01:16:45,039 well that's how i remember it so that's 1002 01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:49,840 how it'll be 1003 01:16:45,039 --> 01:16:49,840 it was raining it was portland 1004 01:16:56,000 --> 01:16:59,180 [Music] 1005 01:17:00,880 --> 01:17:05,328 maybe 1006 01:17:02,260 --> 01:17:05,329 [Music] 1007 01:17:13,439 --> 01:17:21,519 we hit the highway in the honda 1008 01:17:16,560 --> 01:17:21,520 and i took pictures everywhere we went 1009 01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:25,039 we saw the pain in the desert the grand 1010 01:17:24,399 --> 01:17:28,238 canyon 1011 01:17:25,039 --> 01:17:28,800 and and rhonda and that learned what her 1012 01:17:28,238 --> 01:17:33,198 middle 1013 01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:33,679 finger here's the first house that we 1014 01:17:33,198 --> 01:17:36,879 hold 1015 01:17:33,679 --> 01:17:39,440 on baltimore in front of that place 1016 01:17:36,880 --> 01:17:42,000 and we built this one on land that we 1017 01:17:39,439 --> 01:17:44,719 both chose 1018 01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:45,679 and here's a pig of all of us with 1019 01:17:44,719 --> 01:17:48,719 smiles on 1020 01:17:45,679 --> 01:17:52,239 every face the photoshopping 1021 01:17:48,719 --> 01:17:52,239 hardly even shows 1022 01:17:52,319 --> 01:17:57,679 we're standing by a lake with all these 1023 01:17:55,279 --> 01:17:57,679 ducks 1024 01:17:59,810 --> 01:18:05,340 [Applause] 1025 01:18:02,289 --> 01:18:05,340 [Music] 1026 01:18:10,000 --> 01:18:14,149 gonna get back what we had and maybe 1027 01:18:12,719 --> 01:18:15,439 more 1028 01:18:14,149 --> 01:18:18,479 [Music] 1029 01:18:15,439 --> 01:18:19,119 get us back to good times forget the 1030 01:18:18,479 --> 01:18:22,399 things 1031 01:18:19,119 --> 01:18:25,198 we should gonna get us back to better 1032 01:18:22,399 --> 01:18:25,198 than before 1033 01:18:25,279 --> 01:18:33,920 we can get us back to better than before 1034 01:18:29,600 --> 01:18:33,920 all right fine 1035 01:18:34,079 --> 01:18:37,198 here's the headline in the paper when 1036 01:18:36,880 --> 01:18:40,880 you 1037 01:18:37,198 --> 01:18:40,879 freaked out at the market 1038 01:18:43,739 --> 01:18:46,949 [Music] 1039 01:18:49,380 --> 01:18:52,600 [Music] 1040 01:19:01,439 --> 01:19:04,799 i made it to the school wait you 1041 01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:09,840 remember 1042 01:19:04,800 --> 01:19:09,840 it wasn't here all too much 1043 01:19:20,238 --> 01:19:26,569 your life has time of something you've 1044 01:19:23,479 --> 01:19:26,569 [Music] 1045 01:19:27,158 --> 01:19:40,179 got to get back 1046 01:19:36,399 --> 01:19:40,179 [Music] 1047 01:19:42,250 --> 01:19:45,300 [Music] 1048 01:19:48,399 --> 01:20:05,839 make everything much better 1049 01:20:05,890 --> 01:20:08,999 [Music] 1050 01:20:11,619 --> 01:20:14,670 [Music] 1051 01:20:19,779 --> 01:20:22,829 [Music] 1052 01:20:25,539 --> 01:20:33,039 [Music] 1053 01:20:30,800 --> 01:20:33,039 your 1054 01:20:35,529 --> 01:20:47,840 [Music] 1055 01:20:44,880 --> 01:20:47,840 once 1056 01:20:48,039 --> 01:20:53,560 [Music] 1057 01:20:54,399 --> 01:21:00,329 there's something missing like it's 1058 01:20:57,359 --> 01:21:12,479 tugging at me i can almost see 1059 01:21:00,329 --> 01:21:14,479 [Music] 1060 01:21:12,479 --> 01:21:16,238 i know it's late i needed to talk to 1061 01:21:14,479 --> 01:21:18,879 natalie about some homework 1062 01:21:16,238 --> 01:21:21,519 she's not answering her phone is 1063 01:21:18,880 --> 01:21:21,520 everything okay 1064 01:21:22,399 --> 01:21:25,679 him yes 1065 01:21:26,000 --> 01:21:33,760 you remind me of someone 1066 01:21:29,119 --> 01:21:33,760 how old are you seventeen why 1067 01:21:34,399 --> 01:21:43,839 i don't know now he's in a room 1068 01:21:54,560 --> 01:21:59,529 to fill 1069 01:21:55,500 --> 01:21:59,529 [Music] 1070 01:22:09,329 --> 01:22:24,079 [Music] 1071 01:22:13,198 --> 01:22:26,329 the memories 1072 01:22:24,079 --> 01:22:29,448 there nothing left 1073 01:22:26,329 --> 01:22:29,448 [Music] 1074 01:22:30,399 --> 01:22:41,639 with nothing to remember 1075 01:22:38,510 --> 01:22:41,640 [Music] 1076 01:22:44,369 --> 01:22:47,460 [Music] 1077 01:22:48,880 --> 01:22:53,840 it's annoying 1078 01:23:03,840 --> 01:23:07,840 there's no way 1079 01:23:16,710 --> 01:23:25,199 [Music] 1080 01:23:19,970 --> 01:23:25,199 [Applause] 1081 01:23:25,479 --> 01:23:29,039 [Music] 1082 01:23:25,760 --> 01:23:32,579 [Applause] 1083 01:23:29,039 --> 01:23:32,578 [Music] 1084 01:23:32,840 --> 01:23:38,788 eight 1085 01:23:35,550 --> 01:23:38,788 [Music] 1086 01:23:41,198 --> 01:23:49,839 just don't give up 1087 01:23:51,800 --> 01:23:58,260 [Music] 1088 01:23:58,409 --> 01:24:03,840 [Applause] 1089 01:24:00,840 --> 01:24:03,840 henry 1090 01:24:04,369 --> 01:24:07,630 [Music] 1091 01:24:10,699 --> 01:24:15,539 [Music] 1092 01:24:25,979 --> 01:24:31,119 [Music] 1093 01:24:27,600 --> 01:24:31,120 sailing out into my 1094 01:24:37,140 --> 01:24:44,960 [Music] 1095 01:24:39,439 --> 01:24:44,960 i'm sure something's missing i wish it 1096 01:24:51,279 --> 01:24:59,840 how i do i don't know 1097 01:25:00,659 --> 01:25:03,720 [Music] 1098 01:25:08,238 --> 01:25:12,959 does the puzzle come together piece by 1099 01:25:15,729 --> 01:25:18,879 [Applause] 1100 01:25:22,719 --> 01:25:29,039 have you talked to your depression your 1101 01:25:25,279 --> 01:25:29,039 delusions and your son 1102 01:25:30,560 --> 01:25:33,920 what what 1103 01:25:34,639 --> 01:25:37,520 your husband didn't 1104 01:25:38,238 --> 01:25:45,839 oh my god 1105 01:25:41,840 --> 01:25:49,440 you two should talk more 1106 01:25:45,840 --> 01:25:51,360 we should talk more that's it 1107 01:25:49,439 --> 01:25:52,719 i don't even remember marrying this man 1108 01:25:51,359 --> 01:25:55,279 it's not like i'm some 1109 01:25:52,719 --> 01:25:57,198 sexually frustrated soccer mom well 1110 01:25:55,279 --> 01:25:59,198 interestingly the underlying challenges 1111 01:25:57,198 --> 01:26:09,839 are similar 1112 01:25:59,198 --> 01:26:17,759 i'll see you next week next week 1113 01:26:09,840 --> 01:26:17,760 [Music] 1114 01:26:20,840 --> 01:26:23,840 ugh 1115 01:26:24,520 --> 01:26:32,850 [Music] 1116 01:26:40,789 --> 01:26:47,289 [Music] 1117 01:26:48,840 --> 01:26:53,360 um 1118 01:26:50,000 --> 01:26:56,479 what are you doing what is this 1119 01:26:53,359 --> 01:26:57,989 where did you get that it's nothing an 1120 01:26:56,479 --> 01:27:00,718 old music box 1121 01:26:57,989 --> 01:27:05,039 [Music] 1122 01:27:00,719 --> 01:27:08,719 we played it for the baby 1123 01:27:05,039 --> 01:27:13,229 sometimes it helped him sleep diamond 1124 01:27:08,719 --> 01:27:16,560 him we did help 1125 01:27:13,229 --> 01:27:16,559 [Music] 1126 01:27:18,829 --> 01:27:22,000 [Music] 1127 01:27:25,020 --> 01:27:30,680 [Music] 1128 01:27:27,679 --> 01:27:37,440 you drove too fast the lights 1129 01:27:30,680 --> 01:27:41,199 [Music] 1130 01:27:37,439 --> 01:27:44,559 how could i ever forget 1131 01:27:41,198 --> 01:27:48,479 outside the morning was cool 1132 01:27:44,560 --> 01:27:51,520 and wet he had such chills 1133 01:27:48,479 --> 01:27:53,919 but still he lay there so 1134 01:27:51,520 --> 01:27:53,920 still 1135 01:27:54,639 --> 01:28:01,840 i'm just eight months old 1136 01:28:02,210 --> 01:28:10,430 [Music] 1137 01:28:12,840 --> 01:28:29,760 wondering 1138 01:28:15,439 --> 01:28:33,678 that hospital room 1139 01:28:29,760 --> 01:28:43,010 how could i ever forget 1140 01:28:33,679 --> 01:28:49,078 screaming at them 1141 01:28:43,010 --> 01:28:49,079 [Music] 1142 01:28:54,840 --> 01:28:57,840 oh 1143 01:29:02,470 --> 01:29:11,840 [Music] 1144 01:29:04,399 --> 01:29:11,839 someone simply said 1145 01:29:14,350 --> 01:29:19,720 [Music] 1146 01:29:22,840 --> 01:29:39,840 set the day that i lost 1147 01:29:33,520 --> 01:29:39,840 how could i ever 1148 01:29:41,810 --> 01:29:47,440 [Music] 1149 01:29:44,639 --> 01:29:48,000 why would you want to remember the 1150 01:29:47,439 --> 01:29:49,759 things 1151 01:29:48,000 --> 01:29:52,560 that hurt you i want to remember 1152 01:29:49,760 --> 01:29:55,440 everything dan 1153 01:29:52,560 --> 01:29:55,440 how did he die 1154 01:29:55,679 --> 01:30:06,000 he was sick with what why was he treated 1155 01:29:59,840 --> 01:30:10,079 what was wrong 1156 01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:14,719 something the doctors are missed 1157 01:30:10,079 --> 01:30:18,399 the clinic the er each specialist 1158 01:30:14,719 --> 01:30:21,840 they said babies cry allergies 1159 01:30:18,399 --> 01:30:21,839 gas who knows why 1160 01:30:22,880 --> 01:30:27,520 i was a child 1161 01:30:25,609 --> 01:30:31,198 [Music] 1162 01:30:27,520 --> 01:30:31,199 raising a child 1163 01:30:31,840 --> 01:30:35,039 we'd stay up 1164 01:30:37,869 --> 01:30:44,260 [Music] 1165 01:30:42,399 --> 01:30:46,719 still he'd just cry 1166 01:30:44,260 --> 01:30:50,639 [Music] 1167 01:30:46,719 --> 01:30:54,158 and crying he was a baby when he died 1168 01:30:50,639 --> 01:30:57,600 but i remember him older no 1169 01:30:54,158 --> 01:31:00,000 he was a baby we should call dr matt 1170 01:30:57,600 --> 01:31:02,560 why would we call dr maddy i'm just 1171 01:31:00,000 --> 01:31:04,639 trying to make sense of all of it 1172 01:31:02,560 --> 01:31:07,440 what was his name i i never remember 1173 01:31:04,639 --> 01:31:09,359 hearing you say his name oh diana 1174 01:31:07,439 --> 01:31:11,439 what about your name tell me it's gonna 1175 01:31:09,359 --> 01:31:13,198 be fine it's gonna be fine 1176 01:31:11,439 --> 01:31:14,479 we'll go back to the doctors cause we 1177 01:31:13,198 --> 01:31:17,039 cut it just in time 1178 01:31:14,479 --> 01:31:17,039 we'll take the 1179 01:31:22,500 --> 01:31:31,840 [Music] 1180 01:31:24,560 --> 01:31:31,840 what was his name 1181 01:31:32,630 --> 01:31:35,770 [Applause] 1182 01:31:36,159 --> 01:31:39,369 [Music] 1183 01:31:40,238 --> 01:31:42,399 why 1184 01:31:45,380 --> 01:31:51,328 [Music] 1185 01:31:56,840 --> 01:32:02,260 day 1186 01:31:59,170 --> 01:32:02,260 [Music] 1187 01:32:02,529 --> 01:32:06,639 [Applause] 1188 01:32:03,079 --> 01:32:06,640 [Music] 1189 01:32:08,238 --> 01:32:13,839 don't tell me what you're saying 1190 01:32:15,039 --> 01:32:18,939 [Applause] 1191 01:32:20,750 --> 01:32:23,868 [Music] 1192 01:32:32,000 --> 01:32:38,560 i promise the boy says forever 1193 01:32:35,520 --> 01:32:39,280 a boy says whatever may come will come 1194 01:32:38,560 --> 01:32:42,560 true 1195 01:32:39,279 --> 01:32:43,039 and who can know how when all i know now 1196 01:32:42,560 --> 01:32:46,320 to be 1197 01:32:43,039 --> 01:32:49,760 true is this promise that i 1198 01:32:46,319 --> 01:32:49,759 made to you 1199 01:32:50,158 --> 01:32:55,839 a question a boy wonders whether 1200 01:32:59,680 --> 01:33:09,840 [Music] 1201 01:33:02,399 --> 01:33:09,839 that's the promise that i made that day 1202 01:33:11,380 --> 01:33:18,708 [Music] 1203 01:33:18,880 --> 01:33:23,199 if you see her please send her my 1204 01:33:30,569 --> 01:33:38,880 [Music] 1205 01:33:33,679 --> 01:33:38,880 but the man still remembers his love 1206 01:33:39,679 --> 01:33:46,880 a promise a man says forever 1207 01:33:43,198 --> 01:33:50,000 a man says i'll never regret or let you 1208 01:33:46,880 --> 01:33:50,800 a promise that i made to stay and i'll 1209 01:33:50,000 --> 01:33:52,380 stay 1210 01:33:50,800 --> 01:33:54,239 true 1211 01:33:52,380 --> 01:33:57,679 [Music] 1212 01:33:54,238 --> 01:34:00,559 knowing one day we'd remember that joy 1213 01:33:57,679 --> 01:34:02,319 you remember that girl i remember that 1214 01:34:00,560 --> 01:34:06,880 boy till we do 1215 01:34:02,319 --> 01:34:12,079 the promise i made i make it brand new 1216 01:34:06,880 --> 01:34:12,079 the promise that i made 1217 01:34:12,949 --> 01:34:18,250 [Music] 1218 01:34:16,840 --> 01:34:21,359 to 1219 01:34:18,250 --> 01:34:21,359 [Music] 1220 01:34:27,510 --> 01:34:30,789 [Music] 1221 01:34:31,039 --> 01:34:47,840 captioning not available 1222 01:34:47,970 --> 01:34:56,199 [Music] 1223 01:34:56,960 --> 01:35:03,359 that i can play so well 1224 01:35:00,319 --> 01:35:05,759 i'm alive i'm alive i am so alive 1225 01:35:03,359 --> 01:35:15,839 and the medicine failed in the doctor's 1226 01:35:05,760 --> 01:35:15,840 life i'm alive 1227 01:35:22,960 --> 01:35:29,840 let me help you can't just go 1228 01:35:30,520 --> 01:35:33,619 [Music] 1229 01:35:37,989 --> 01:35:41,920 [Music] 1230 01:35:40,079 --> 01:35:43,359 they told me that the wiring was somehow 1231 01:35:41,920 --> 01:35:45,199 on the firing and screwing up the 1232 01:35:43,359 --> 01:35:46,719 signals in my brain 1233 01:35:45,198 --> 01:35:48,719 and then they told me chemistry that 1234 01:35:46,719 --> 01:35:50,480 just another circuitry was mixing up and 1235 01:35:48,719 --> 01:35:57,840 making me insane 1236 01:35:50,479 --> 01:35:57,839 with how the skin is 1237 01:36:00,750 --> 01:36:03,840 [Music] 1238 01:36:08,840 --> 01:36:14,400 is have returned but 1239 01:36:10,880 --> 01:36:15,920 not entirely unexpected they tried a 1240 01:36:14,399 --> 01:36:16,960 million that math it struck me through 1241 01:36:15,920 --> 01:36:19,359 their backpack 1242 01:36:16,960 --> 01:36:20,480 and told me that's the way it goes when 1243 01:36:19,359 --> 01:36:22,319 finally you hit it 1244 01:36:20,479 --> 01:36:23,829 i asked you just what did you sharpen 1245 01:36:22,319 --> 01:36:34,639 said that no one 1246 01:36:23,829 --> 01:36:34,640 [Music] 1247 01:36:37,130 --> 01:36:52,319 [Music] 1248 01:36:48,960 --> 01:36:55,600 was never in my brain 1249 01:36:52,319 --> 01:36:58,960 or in my blood but in 1250 01:36:55,600 --> 01:36:58,960 my soul 1251 01:37:01,679 --> 01:37:09,760 make up your mind this is clarity 1252 01:37:06,639 --> 01:37:11,359 that you did not have before that the 1253 01:37:09,760 --> 01:37:14,719 treatment is strong 1254 01:37:11,359 --> 01:37:16,799 but lasts only so long it may be your 1255 01:37:14,719 --> 01:37:21,039 mind 1256 01:37:16,800 --> 01:37:21,039 let's say that's not it the ect 1257 01:37:33,359 --> 01:37:37,519 there are moments of light the one thing 1258 01:37:36,399 --> 01:37:40,000 that's sure 1259 01:37:37,520 --> 01:37:43,360 is that there is no cure but that 1260 01:37:40,000 --> 01:37:43,359 doesn't mean we don't 1261 01:37:43,479 --> 01:37:49,039 fight to talk therapy 1262 01:37:46,719 --> 01:37:49,039 there's 1263 01:37:53,920 --> 01:38:02,609 [Music] 1264 01:37:56,639 --> 01:38:03,230 a new drug regiment 1265 01:38:02,609 --> 01:38:10,158 [Applause] 1266 01:38:03,229 --> 01:38:13,599 [Music] 1267 01:38:10,158 --> 01:38:16,719 you have a chronic illness like 1268 01:38:13,600 --> 01:38:19,199 diabetes or hypotension 1269 01:38:16,719 --> 01:38:21,118 if left untreated you could be 1270 01:38:19,198 --> 01:38:26,799 catastrophic 1271 01:38:21,118 --> 01:38:30,158 i understand there has to be another way 1272 01:38:26,800 --> 01:38:32,960 save me try again 1273 01:38:30,158 --> 01:38:34,079 don't walk out on treatment don't lose 1274 01:38:32,960 --> 01:38:36,319 what you've won 1275 01:38:34,079 --> 01:38:37,279 you've struggled for years but you've 1276 01:38:36,319 --> 01:38:42,960 only 1277 01:38:37,279 --> 01:38:45,439 grown my first psychiatrist told me that 1278 01:38:42,960 --> 01:38:46,639 according to emmanuel grief that 1279 01:38:45,439 --> 01:38:49,839 continues past 1280 01:38:46,639 --> 01:38:52,880 four months is pathological 1281 01:38:49,840 --> 01:38:56,639 and should be medicated 1282 01:38:52,880 --> 01:38:59,239 four months for the life of my child 1283 01:38:56,639 --> 01:39:04,069 who makes these decisions 1284 01:38:59,239 --> 01:39:04,068 [Music] 1285 01:39:06,238 --> 01:39:12,559 magic you know that it's not we know 1286 01:39:09,439 --> 01:39:12,559 it's not perfect 1287 01:39:23,350 --> 01:39:27,840 [Music] 1288 01:39:24,840 --> 01:39:27,840 goodbye 1289 01:39:30,930 --> 01:39:41,840 [Music] 1290 01:39:37,118 --> 01:39:41,839 what are you saying 1291 01:39:42,770 --> 01:39:49,040 [Music] 1292 01:39:51,279 --> 01:39:55,519 mom it's time you start thinking of your 1293 01:39:53,760 --> 01:39:59,760 own happiness 1294 01:39:55,520 --> 01:39:59,760 it's not happiness it's henry 1295 01:40:00,000 --> 01:40:07,359 you love him um 1296 01:40:03,520 --> 01:40:13,040 you can't just walk out on your doctor 1297 01:40:07,359 --> 01:40:13,039 maybe i've lost it at last 1298 01:40:13,198 --> 01:40:21,279 maybe my last lucid moment 1299 01:40:17,198 --> 01:40:23,839 has passed i'm dancing with death i 1300 01:40:21,279 --> 01:40:23,840 suppose 1301 01:40:24,000 --> 01:40:28,880 but really who knows 1302 01:40:29,198 --> 01:40:38,638 maybe i'm tired of the game 1303 01:40:34,399 --> 01:40:40,000 of coming up short of the rules of the 1304 01:40:38,639 --> 01:40:45,199 shame 1305 01:40:40,000 --> 01:40:51,840 and maybe you feel that way too 1306 01:40:45,198 --> 01:40:51,839 i see 1307 01:40:56,649 --> 01:41:05,439 [Music] 1308 01:41:02,000 --> 01:41:19,359 a girl felt caught 1309 01:41:05,439 --> 01:41:19,359 i'm not known 1310 01:41:34,140 --> 01:41:37,249 [Music] 1311 01:41:41,760 --> 01:41:54,800 but there'll be no more crying 1312 01:41:47,039 --> 01:41:54,800 for me 1313 01:41:57,039 --> 01:42:01,840 not for me 1314 01:42:08,800 --> 01:42:15,840 maybe we can't be 1315 01:42:19,119 --> 01:42:27,970 [Music] 1316 01:42:25,359 --> 01:42:39,519 let go 1317 01:42:27,970 --> 01:42:42,960 [Music] 1318 01:42:39,520 --> 01:42:45,840 17 years ago 1319 01:42:42,960 --> 01:42:48,239 your brother died of an intestinal 1320 01:42:45,840 --> 01:42:51,279 destruction 1321 01:42:48,238 --> 01:42:51,279 he was eight months old 1322 01:42:52,560 --> 01:42:57,840 i couldn't say that to you before i'm 1323 01:42:55,520 --> 01:42:57,840 sorry 1324 01:42:58,079 --> 01:43:05,029 we wanted to give you a normal life 1325 01:43:01,118 --> 01:43:08,839 but i realized i have no clue what that 1326 01:43:05,029 --> 01:43:10,559 [Music] 1327 01:43:08,840 --> 01:43:14,480 is 1328 01:43:10,560 --> 01:43:18,560 i need a life that's normal 1329 01:43:14,479 --> 01:43:21,599 that's way too far away 1330 01:43:18,560 --> 01:43:24,719 but something next to normal 1331 01:43:21,600 --> 01:43:27,679 will be okay yeah 1332 01:43:24,719 --> 01:43:38,539 something next to normal that's the 1333 01:43:27,679 --> 01:43:45,039 thing that i'd like to try 1334 01:43:38,539 --> 01:43:48,560 [Music] 1335 01:43:45,039 --> 01:43:48,560 we'll get by 1336 01:43:51,118 --> 01:43:53,839 okay 1337 01:43:57,739 --> 01:44:03,448 [Applause] 1338 01:44:05,970 --> 01:44:12,640 [Music] 1339 01:44:14,000 --> 01:44:20,909 hey hey 1340 01:44:17,359 --> 01:44:27,948 you look like a star 1341 01:44:20,909 --> 01:44:27,948 [Music] 1342 01:44:30,639 --> 01:44:36,239 you came well i said that i might 1343 01:44:37,579 --> 01:44:40,809 [Music] 1344 01:44:40,920 --> 01:44:49,840 but tonight 1345 01:45:00,840 --> 01:45:12,719 she's 1346 01:45:03,500 --> 01:45:17,840 [Music] 1347 01:45:12,719 --> 01:45:17,840 freaking out that this door running and 1348 01:45:18,800 --> 01:45:21,920 perfect for you 1349 01:45:20,680 --> 01:45:26,480 [Music] 1350 01:45:21,920 --> 01:45:30,000 i will be perfect for you 1351 01:45:26,479 --> 01:45:32,439 so you can go i could crazy 1352 01:45:30,000 --> 01:45:34,639 crazy it's true 1353 01:45:32,439 --> 01:45:38,000 [Music] 1354 01:45:34,639 --> 01:45:45,840 sometimes life isn't safe 1355 01:45:38,000 --> 01:45:45,840 i'm crazy i know i can do 1356 01:45:47,289 --> 01:45:56,840 [Applause] 1357 01:45:51,229 --> 01:45:58,639 [Music] 1358 01:45:56,840 --> 01:46:05,199 is 1359 01:45:58,640 --> 01:46:14,760 [Music] 1360 01:46:05,199 --> 01:46:14,760 [Applause] 1361 01:46:16,270 --> 01:46:22,149 [Music] 1362 01:46:27,600 --> 01:46:31,360 so anyway i'm waiting 1363 01:46:31,600 --> 01:46:38,320 i thought you'd like to know 1364 01:46:34,880 --> 01:46:41,760 your faithful come what may 1365 01:46:38,319 --> 01:46:46,238 but clearly i can stay we 1366 01:46:41,760 --> 01:46:46,239 both go mad that way 1367 01:46:46,399 --> 01:46:50,638 so here i go 1368 01:46:52,399 --> 01:46:56,479 and eating 1369 01:46:54,359 --> 01:47:00,000 [Music] 1370 01:46:56,479 --> 01:47:00,000 i guess that you can see 1371 01:47:01,198 --> 01:47:06,319 i'll try this on my own a life i've 1372 01:47:05,039 --> 01:47:09,198 never known 1373 01:47:06,319 --> 01:47:09,198 i have a face 1374 01:47:12,140 --> 01:47:23,039 [Music] 1375 01:47:18,960 --> 01:47:25,880 with you always beside me 1376 01:47:23,039 --> 01:47:27,840 to catch me when i fall 1377 01:47:25,880 --> 01:47:30,880 [Music] 1378 01:47:27,840 --> 01:47:37,840 i never get to know 1379 01:47:30,880 --> 01:47:37,840 the feels 1380 01:47:38,390 --> 01:47:48,489 [Music] 1381 01:47:49,279 --> 01:47:52,158 it's not true 1382 01:47:54,719 --> 01:47:59,760 what doctors call this function we try 1383 01:47:58,079 --> 01:48:02,840 to call romance 1384 01:47:59,760 --> 01:48:04,230 and true it's quite a trick to tell the 1385 01:48:02,840 --> 01:48:07,520 dancers 1386 01:48:04,229 --> 01:48:07,519 [Music] 1387 01:48:09,090 --> 01:48:12,248 [Applause] 1388 01:48:15,409 --> 01:48:19,840 [Music] 1389 01:48:21,949 --> 01:48:27,380 [Music] 1390 01:48:29,920 --> 01:48:37,118 i love you once and though you 1391 01:48:33,039 --> 01:48:41,760 love me still i know it's time for 1392 01:48:37,118 --> 01:48:41,759 me to fly 1393 01:48:44,960 --> 01:48:52,560 i love you once ago 1394 01:48:48,639 --> 01:49:01,840 i love you still i know 1395 01:48:52,560 --> 01:49:01,840 it's time for me to go 1396 01:49:05,949 --> 01:49:15,840 [Music] 1397 01:49:12,840 --> 01:49:15,840 goodbye 1398 01:49:18,380 --> 01:49:22,310 [Music] 1399 01:49:26,840 --> 01:49:32,600 so 1400 01:49:29,439 --> 01:49:32,599 [Music] 1401 01:49:35,599 --> 01:49:43,199 i am the one who loved you 1402 01:49:39,920 --> 01:49:48,880 i am the one who stayed 1403 01:49:43,198 --> 01:49:48,879 i am one and you walked away 1404 01:49:50,560 --> 01:49:53,920 i am the one who weighed you 1405 01:49:52,739 --> 01:49:57,359 [Music] 1406 01:49:53,920 --> 01:49:59,440 and now you act like you just don't give 1407 01:49:57,359 --> 01:50:03,519 a damn 1408 01:49:59,439 --> 01:50:10,319 like you never knew who i am i 1409 01:50:03,520 --> 01:50:23,119 am i am i've 1410 01:50:10,319 --> 01:50:26,158 always been here 1411 01:50:23,118 --> 01:50:29,198 but i know you know who i 1412 01:50:26,158 --> 01:50:33,039 am no 1413 01:50:29,198 --> 01:50:35,919 i know you know who i am 1414 01:50:33,039 --> 01:50:36,639 can't you just leave me alone i know you 1415 01:50:35,920 --> 01:50:41,118 know 1416 01:50:36,639 --> 01:50:44,400 who why why didn't you go with her 1417 01:50:41,118 --> 01:50:52,479 cause i'm holding on let 1418 01:50:44,399 --> 01:50:56,000 me go let's go 1419 01:50:52,479 --> 01:50:57,118 i am the one who helps you i am the one 1420 01:50:56,000 --> 01:51:00,960 who cried i 1421 01:50:57,118 --> 01:51:03,839 am the one who watched while you die 1422 01:51:00,960 --> 01:51:04,639 yeah yeah yeah i am the one who loves 1423 01:51:03,840 --> 01:51:07,760 you 1424 01:51:04,639 --> 01:51:09,039 i try pretending that i don't give a 1425 01:51:07,760 --> 01:51:20,220 damn 1426 01:51:09,039 --> 01:51:22,000 but you always know who i am 1427 01:51:20,220 --> 01:51:35,840 [Music] 1428 01:51:22,000 --> 01:51:35,840 i am 1429 01:51:38,000 --> 01:51:43,279 dad what the hell where are the lights 1430 01:51:41,118 --> 01:51:43,279 off 1431 01:51:44,079 --> 01:51:49,840 where's mom 1432 01:51:51,679 --> 01:51:54,399 she's gone 1433 01:51:57,599 --> 01:52:06,829 so it's just for now 1434 01:52:04,238 --> 01:52:11,678 yes okay 1435 01:52:06,829 --> 01:52:16,719 [Music] 1436 01:52:11,679 --> 01:52:22,079 i need some light 1437 01:52:16,719 --> 01:52:26,800 first of all we need some light 1438 01:52:22,079 --> 01:52:30,238 you can't sit here in the dark 1439 01:52:26,800 --> 01:52:33,760 and all alone it's a sorry 1440 01:52:30,238 --> 01:52:36,479 sight it's just you 1441 01:52:33,760 --> 01:52:36,480 and me 1442 01:52:37,359 --> 01:52:57,039 we'll live you'll see 1443 01:52:43,869 --> 01:53:00,079 [Music] 1444 01:52:57,039 --> 01:53:04,000 but we've waited far too 1445 01:53:00,079 --> 01:53:12,960 long for all that's wrong 1446 01:53:04,000 --> 01:53:17,039 to be made right 1447 01:53:12,960 --> 01:53:20,158 all our peers away 1448 01:53:17,039 --> 01:53:27,118 trying to fight for things we 1449 01:53:20,158 --> 01:53:41,839 feel but somehow 1450 01:53:27,118 --> 01:53:41,839 some ghosts are never gone 1451 01:53:41,899 --> 01:53:51,198 [Music] 1452 01:53:47,760 --> 01:53:55,840 you don't have to be happy 1453 01:53:51,198 --> 01:53:55,839 at all 1454 01:53:58,850 --> 01:54:02,320 [Music] 1455 01:54:00,560 --> 01:54:03,920 have you heard from her well i've heard 1456 01:54:02,319 --> 01:54:04,880 from her she's staying with my 1457 01:54:03,920 --> 01:54:08,239 grandparents 1458 01:54:04,880 --> 01:54:11,199 do they actually exist yes 1459 01:54:08,238 --> 01:54:12,718 that's good right well going home has 1460 01:54:11,198 --> 01:54:13,519 never been a solution to any of my 1461 01:54:12,719 --> 01:54:16,639 problems 1462 01:54:13,520 --> 01:54:22,080 but you have me for seriously you're 1463 01:54:16,639 --> 01:54:36,520 like number three on my instagram 1464 01:54:22,079 --> 01:54:39,748 you're my favorite problem 1465 01:54:36,520 --> 01:54:39,749 [Music] 1466 01:54:45,279 --> 01:54:50,639 the price of love is lost 1467 01:54:52,529 --> 01:54:56,978 [Applause] 1468 01:54:53,800 --> 01:54:56,979 [Music] 1469 01:54:57,599 --> 01:55:01,840 i know you can't tell me if you're still 1470 01:54:59,359 --> 01:55:04,479 treating her i just 1471 01:55:01,840 --> 01:55:05,599 wonder if she's okay i believe she's 1472 01:55:04,479 --> 01:55:07,678 working on it 1473 01:55:05,599 --> 01:55:09,199 and she's aware of the risks you think 1474 01:55:07,679 --> 01:55:12,319 she'll come home 1475 01:55:09,198 --> 01:55:14,000 it's good to know sure dan 1476 01:55:12,319 --> 01:55:16,840 would you like me to recommend somebody 1477 01:55:14,000 --> 01:55:19,840 for you to talk to 1478 01:55:16,840 --> 01:55:19,840 no 1479 01:55:25,920 --> 01:55:33,840 [Music] 1480 01:55:30,000 --> 01:55:33,840 the way 1481 01:55:40,140 --> 01:55:43,719 [Music] 1482 01:55:40,979 --> 01:55:47,118 [Applause] 1483 01:55:43,719 --> 01:56:01,630 let's shine 1484 01:55:47,118 --> 01:56:04,759 shine shine 1485 01:56:01,630 --> 01:56:04,760 [Applause] 1486 01:56:13,039 --> 01:56:29,840 when our long night is done 1487 01:56:16,960 --> 01:56:29,840 there will be 1488 01:56:39,118 --> 01:56:47,039 there will be light 1489 01:56:42,319 --> 01:56:57,840 there will be lights 1490 01:56:47,039 --> 01:56:57,840 there will be 1491 01:57:02,220 --> 01:57:13,180 [Music] 1492 01:57:04,470 --> 01:57:13,420 [Applause] 1493 01:57:13,180 --> 01:57:19,390 [Music] 1494 01:57:13,420 --> 01:57:19,390 [Applause] 1495 01:57:22,840 --> 01:57:25,840 oh 1496 01:57:28,050 --> 01:57:33,760 [Applause] 1497 01:57:36,840 --> 01:57:39,840 uh 1498 01:57:45,649 --> 01:57:52,479 [Applause] 1499 01:57:49,479 --> 01:57:52,479 uh 89869

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