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1
00:00:02,580 --> 00:00:04,470
Oh, hello.
2
00:00:04,474 --> 00:00:06,095
Nice to see you all.
3
00:00:06,096 --> 00:00:09,259
Some return visitors I see,
and some fresh faces.
4
00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:13,019
You know, I was just thinking about
how we put people in boxes
5
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:14,359
and make assumptions about them
6
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,559
based merely on what
they do for a living.
7
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:20,059
You said you owned a cat café,
so I drew you living alone.
8
00:00:20,060 --> 00:00:21,299
Cats are like your babies
9
00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:23,274
and you eat canned soup
for dinner every night.
10
00:00:24,820 --> 00:00:26,360
Not even close.
11
00:00:26,363 --> 00:00:28,689
Spot-on.
12
00:00:28,690 --> 00:00:31,799
My mother's very concerned
that because of my job,
13
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,139
I'll be single forever.
14
00:00:33,140 --> 00:00:35,560
She also fancies herself
to be a bit of a...
15
00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:37,120
how should I put this?
16
00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:40,909
♪ Matchmaker, matchmaker,
make me a match ♪
17
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,739
- ♪ Find me a find ♪
- Mother, you can't do this...
18
00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:44,712
- ♪ Catch me a catch ♪
- ... in the middle of a cat café.
19
00:00:44,713 --> 00:00:48,459
♪ Matchmaker, matchmaker,
I'll bring the veil ♪
20
00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:50,199
♪ You bring the groom... ♪
21
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,969
Which is why earlier in
the week, this happened.
22
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,999
Katharine, I've found him.
23
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,472
I've found your soul mate.
24
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:58,139
A gentleman I met at the track.
25
00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:01,259
He seemed very interested
in what you do,
26
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:04,690
and when I showed him a
picture of you, he didn't balk.
27
00:01:06,420 --> 00:01:10,119
Okay, as enticing as that is,
I am not gonna go on a date
28
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,156
with a random man you
met at the horse track.
29
00:01:12,157 --> 00:01:15,570
He's not a random man.
He's the track announcer.
30
00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:18,910
I've always been fascinated
by that skill set.
31
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,739
And I'm going on a date
with a track announcer
32
00:01:22,740 --> 00:01:24,599
because I said Yes To My
Mother, Yes To My Mother,
33
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,079
and taking the lead is
Hell Must've Frozen Over.
34
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,740
- (BELL DINGS)
- Oh. Soup's done.
35
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:32,909
♪ ♪
36
00:01:32,910 --> 00:01:35,763
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
37
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,050
Daniel, come get your
latte before it gets cold.
38
00:01:40,059 --> 00:01:41,434
Thank you.
39
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,879
Mm-hmm.
40
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,019
Whoa, hey, Randi.
41
00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:47,929
Can you use a friendlier tone?
42
00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:51,319
Maybe throw in a "Have
a meow-tastic day"?
43
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,559
Which is what I do for
every other customer.
44
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,519
But Daniel comes in here
every damn day and never tips.
45
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,399
Unless you count that
one time the loyalty card
46
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,139
from the yogurt shop
fell out of his pocket.
47
00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:02,359
And yes, I did use it
to get a free yogurt.
48
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,623
Marty used to overtip just to show off.
49
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:07,399
One time this waiter said
he had lost his watch.
50
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,002
Marty gave him a watch.
51
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,672
Well, that sounds very Jesus-like.
52
00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:12,459
It was my watch.
53
00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:15,189
(PHONE RINGS)
54
00:02:15,190 --> 00:02:16,839
(GASPS) Oh, look.
55
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,779
It's Brandon, the track announcer
56
00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:20,059
my mom set me up with.
57
00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:21,309
He sent me a picture
58
00:02:21,310 --> 00:02:23,519
so that I will recognize
him when we meet.
59
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,929
He is cuter than a calico
in a sweater-vest.
60
00:02:26,930 --> 00:02:28,774
Ooh, I'd hit that.
61
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:31,779
That's something I've heard people say.
62
00:02:31,780 --> 00:02:33,609
I wish I hadn't tried it.
63
00:02:33,610 --> 00:02:36,619
Well, I predict that you and Dimples
64
00:02:36,620 --> 00:02:37,866
are gonna have a great time.
65
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,119
I hope so. I just don't
want to get too excited.
66
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,719
My mother has a terrible track record
67
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,663
when it comes to making
decisions for me.
68
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,375
SHEILA: Guys love girls with curls.
69
00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:53,379
Okay, he says, "Excited
to meet you tomorrow.
70
00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:55,799
I'll be there even if I have
to come straight from work."
71
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,359
Sweet, flirtatious.
72
00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:03,210
So I'll say, "I'll be there
even if I still have diarrhea."
73
00:03:04,940 --> 00:03:07,434
No, I don't have that, I'm
just trying to be flirtatious.
74
00:03:07,435 --> 00:03:09,419
Okay, well, never in
the history of flirting
75
00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:11,482
has anyone ever invoked diarrhea.
76
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:14,278
I'm just impressed you
know how to spell it.
77
00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:18,069
I couldn't.
78
00:03:18,070 --> 00:03:20,039
Okay, then, I won't
send the diarrhea text.
79
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,409
Oh, I just sent the diarrhea text.
80
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,849
Why do they put the send
and delete buttons
81
00:03:23,850 --> 00:03:25,579
so close to each other?
82
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,540
There's an "H" in there somewhere.
83
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:32,559
So, what if I texted,
84
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,173
"Maybe you come back to my place after
85
00:03:34,174 --> 00:03:35,839
and pet my new kitten?"
86
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,049
Is that flirting?
87
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,552
I don't know, but it made me blush.
88
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,930
Ooh, you're a project, aren't you?
89
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,499
Piano karaoke night.
90
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,559
You're all coming. Especially you.
91
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,227
You know why.
92
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,943
Me? No?
93
00:03:49,944 --> 00:03:51,231
- Why?
- (LAUGHS)
94
00:03:52,020 --> 00:03:54,273
There was a piano in our college dorm.
95
00:03:54,274 --> 00:03:56,599
Max and I used to meet there
at 4:00 a.m. and play
96
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,323
the loudest version of "Piano
Man" you've ever heard.
97
00:03:59,330 --> 00:04:02,532
We woke up the whole dorm.
It did not make us popular.
98
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:04,828
- But it made us happy.
- So you're in?
99
00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:07,479
I was in before you even invited me.
100
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,239
That's how in I'm in.
101
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,299
Great. All right,
I'll see you all there.
102
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:13,879
Uh-oh. Piano karaoke
night is the same night
103
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,798
you're supposed to be hanging
out with racetrack dude.
104
00:04:15,799 --> 00:04:17,299
- No.
- Yes.
105
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,160
But I really want to hang out with Max.
106
00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:22,179
He's a guaranteed good time. He gets me.
107
00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:24,348
But doesn't he have a
girlfriend in France?
108
00:04:24,349 --> 00:04:26,460
Ex-girlfriend. Brigitte.
109
00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:27,679
But she sounds awful.
110
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,819
Max said she hated all
the best American stuff.
111
00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:32,349
Ketchup, country music, football.
112
00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:36,235
Why don't we just admit it,
this is all homoerotic, no?
113
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,991
Let me check and see if Brandon
even responded to the diarrhea text.
114
00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:46,239
He's probably figuring out a
way to cancel on me anyway.
115
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:49,719
Oh, wow. He says, "L-O-L.
See you tomorrow."
116
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,449
Damn it, he gets me, too.
117
00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:53,059
Oh, why don't you just hang out with Max
118
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,309
for the first half of the night,
then go meet up with Brandon
119
00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:56,639
for a drink on the later side?
120
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:57,710
That's what I would do.
121
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,342
Then that's what I'm gonna do.
122
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,659
39 and killing it on the social scene.
123
00:05:03,660 --> 00:05:05,430
Who would expect that?
124
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,684
Draw me now, bitch.
125
00:05:15,780 --> 00:05:17,199
I'm kind of excited.
126
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,099
The evening feels so
full of possibility.
127
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:21,119
Yeah, it is. Two guys, one night,
128
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,447
so you need to look double cute.
129
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,701
Damn, girl. You've been robbed.
130
00:05:25,702 --> 00:05:27,609
(CHUCKLES) No.
131
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:29,259
That's my capsule wardrobe.
132
00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:32,779
15 items of clothing that can
be worn 47 different ways.
133
00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:34,959
I needed to save money
when I opened the café.
134
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:38,099
Yeah. And the number one thing
men are attracted to in a woman
135
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,629
is thriftiness.
136
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,299
Well, in that case, Daniel "No Tipper"
137
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,011
would be super turned on
by my closet right now.
138
00:05:44,012 --> 00:05:46,739
I would not wish that
guy on my worst enemy.
139
00:05:46,740 --> 00:05:47,859
Actually, I would.
140
00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:49,640
Maybe I should set him up with Sienna.
141
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:53,811
This seems like the perfect
night for my green pantsuit.
142
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,189
What... Didn't Max just see
you in that at Tara's wedding?
143
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,599
Yes, but... Fine.
144
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,239
I'll wear my favorite leggings.
145
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,139
Now I know I am not about to watch you
146
00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:04,799
put on a pair of leggings
you just pulled out
147
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,366
of the dirty laundry hamper, am I?
148
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,999
Oh, come on, you've done it.
149
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,161
And you've done it. We've all done it.
150
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:11,799
You do you, but just so you know,
151
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,123
there's a sock stuck to the butt.
152
00:06:13,124 --> 00:06:14,789
(LAUGHS): Oh.
153
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:16,370
Well, that would've been awkward.
154
00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:19,379
All right, you know how it works.
155
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,999
Sign up for a spot,
and when it's your turn,
156
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,591
you come on up and show us what you got.
157
00:06:22,592 --> 00:06:24,019
Now, this is a safe space.
158
00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:25,959
But if you suck,
I'm gonna ring this bell,
159
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,379
and you better back away from the piano
160
00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:28,971
and get your ass off the stage.
161
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:31,819
All right, let's give a warm welcome
to the Whitworth sisters
162
00:06:31,820 --> 00:06:33,100
and Little Andy.
163
00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:35,019
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
164
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,299
Can you have a dog in a bar?
165
00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:38,981
Can you have a cat in a café?
166
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,689
Touché.
167
00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:43,059
So, I signed us up for the end.
168
00:06:43,060 --> 00:06:44,984
I feel confident we can
really bring it home.
169
00:06:44,985 --> 00:06:47,599
I'm supposed to meet
someone for a drink later.
170
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,034
Do you think you could
move us up to the middle?
171
00:06:49,035 --> 00:06:51,160
Oh, sure. Who you meeting?
172
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,037
Just got a date with a track announcer.
173
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,619
No way. You love that skill set.
174
00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:57,439
Are you sensing a little jealousy?
175
00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,086
'Cause I'm sensing a little jealousy.
176
00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:03,659
By the way, I made us a set list.
177
00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:06,839
Why did you make a set list
without consulting your partner?
178
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:08,579
Because I knew my partner
would like my set list.
179
00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:09,762
It's our old standbys.
180
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,095
But maybe your partner
made her own set list.
181
00:07:12,096 --> 00:07:14,319
So even though my partner
was invited by me,
182
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:15,559
she thinks she's in charge?
183
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,769
Are we having our first fight?
184
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,812
Our first fight was pizza
versus Indian food.
185
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,749
We couldn't have made
it to the pizza place
186
00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:22,319
- before they closed.
- If you'd have made a left
187
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,651
instead of a right, we could have.
188
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:24,860
It was a one-way street.
189
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,090
Not that section of it.
190
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,979
- One more?
- You know, why not?
191
00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:32,139
Marty used to cut me off after one
192
00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:35,139
because too much alcohol
gives me night sweats.
193
00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:37,541
But he's not around to get wet anymore.
194
00:07:37,542 --> 00:07:40,168
I'm sorry to hear that.
When did you guys break up?
195
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:41,749
Four months ago.
196
00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:44,759
I feel you man. I just got my
divorce papers Thursday.
197
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,215
Hit me like a ton of bricks.
198
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:47,923
- Mm, bless your heart.
- Yeah.
199
00:07:47,924 --> 00:07:49,829
She was always like,
"You're never around.
200
00:07:49,830 --> 00:07:51,739
You're out at that bar every night."
201
00:07:51,740 --> 00:07:53,199
Because I own a bar.
202
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,392
You knew that when
you met me in the bar.
203
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,759
Marty was the opposite.
204
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,019
He used to say, "You don't
want to go anywhere."
205
00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:02,691
But I like being home and
tending to my garden.
206
00:08:02,692 --> 00:08:05,719
And I cannot be away
from my sourdough starter
207
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,445
for longer than 12 hours.
208
00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,031
You got to feed the beast.
209
00:08:09,032 --> 00:08:10,920
You got to feed the beast.
210
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,139
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
211
00:08:14,140 --> 00:08:16,410
Hey, hey, I know that guy.
Did he tip you, Carter?
212
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,788
Aw, come on, man.
213
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,239
Uh, excuse me.
214
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,459
I thought it was just me you didn't tip.
215
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,679
I thought it was some weird
little dance that we were doing.
216
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:24,819
But when you don't tip my friends,
217
00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:26,172
I require an explanation.
218
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,209
It's not illegal not to tip.
219
00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:30,319
It's also not illegal to
leave your shopping cart
220
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,928
in the parking lot, but that
really fires me up, too.
221
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,889
Hmm. You're a passionate person.
222
00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:37,719
Mm-hmm. And you're a fancy lawyer.
223
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,979
I know that 'cause I got your
name from your credit card
224
00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:41,479
and looked your ass up.
225
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,563
So you're one of those
well-off cheapskates, huh?
226
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:45,859
I have a reason for not
tipping. Want to hear it?
227
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:47,339
Was it because your mommy's from Europe
228
00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:48,689
and they don't tip there?
229
00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:51,100
Because tipping fosters
sexual harassment,
230
00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:53,019
reflects and amplifies
racial discrimination
231
00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:55,579
and allows businesses
to off-load the burden
232
00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:57,496
of paying workers a fair wage.
233
00:08:57,497 --> 00:09:00,399
Well, do you know what
else tipping fosters?
234
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,879
My beautiful foam art
that you will never see,
235
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,839
which includes two cats holding a heart
236
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,940
and a grandpa cat sitting
in front of a rainbow.
237
00:09:06,950 --> 00:09:10,091
And you know he's a grandpa
because he's smoking a pipe.
238
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:12,343
Huh. So, that's why it takes
forever to get a coffee.
239
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:15,097
Well, if you want fast
coffee, make it at home.
240
00:09:15,098 --> 00:09:17,640
Well, what's the fun in that?
241
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:23,060
Honey, is it just me, or
do you need a cigarette?
242
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,489
- (CHEERING)
- Yeah! Good job.
243
00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:27,750
We'll have to bring you back.
244
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:28,769
All right.
245
00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:30,619
You might recognize this next guy.
246
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:31,653
All right, he's our bartender.
247
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,179
And just because he's my good friend
248
00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:34,699
doesn't mean I won't ring this bell
249
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,408
and throw his ass off the stage.
250
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:40,079
All right? Let's welcome
Kat Silver and Max Kingbird,
251
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,747
AKA Silver Bird!
252
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,779
- All right.
- (CHEERING)
253
00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:45,319
How you all doing tonight?
254
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,209
(WHOOPING)
255
00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:49,419
- You know...
- (PLAYING PIANO)
256
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:52,499
Max and I went to college
together at U of L.
257
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,511
Go, Cards!
258
00:09:55,340 --> 00:09:58,559
Max and I are just reconnecting
after, oh, about ten years apart.
259
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,059
He was working overseas.
260
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,339
Max, of all the places you traveled to,
261
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,187
what would you say is your favorite?
262
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:06,199
I would have to say Paris.
263
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,899
Beautiful people, flaky croissants,
264
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,599
and the language is so beautiful,
265
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,821
you hardly notice the cigarette breath.
266
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,319
I wonder what time it
is in Paris right now.
267
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,839
Well, that depends.
268
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,287
What time is it here?
269
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:25,659
♪ It's 9:00 on a Saturday ♪
270
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:28,879
♪ Regular crowd ♪
♪ Shuffles in ♪
271
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,799
♪ There's an old man ♪
272
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,841
♪ Sitting next to me ♪
That's you, sir.
273
00:10:32,842 --> 00:10:36,119
♪ Making love to his tonic and gin ♪
274
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:40,499
♪ He says, son, can
you play me a memory? ♪
275
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:43,469
♪ I'm not really sure how it goes ♪
276
00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:45,889
♪ But it's sad, and it's sweet ♪
277
00:10:45,890 --> 00:10:47,959
♪ And I knew it complete ♪
278
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:51,439
♪ When I wore a younger man's clothes ♪
279
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:55,039
♪ Oh, la, la-la, di-dee-da. ♪
280
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:59,029
♪ Reunited and it feels so good ♪
281
00:10:59,030 --> 00:11:00,909
It really does, Kat.
282
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,619
♪ Reunited, 'cause we understood ♪
283
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:05,739
Yeah, we did.
284
00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:07,619
♪ There's one perfect fit ♪
285
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:11,289
♪ And, sugar, this one is it ♪
286
00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:14,499
♪ We both are so excited 'cause we're ♪
287
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:17,839
♪ Reunited, hey, hey... ♪
288
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,129
- ♪ Gloria ♪
- ♪ Gloria ♪
289
00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:21,932
♪ I think they got your number ♪
290
00:11:21,933 --> 00:11:23,089
♪ Gloria ♪
291
00:11:23,090 --> 00:11:24,643
♪ I think they got the alias ♪
292
00:11:24,644 --> 00:11:25,889
♪ Alias ♪
293
00:11:25,890 --> 00:11:27,499
♪ That you've been living under ♪
294
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:28,679
♪ Gloria ♪
295
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,889
♪ But you really don't remember ♪
296
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:33,939
♪ Was it something that they said? ♪
297
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:37,439
♪ Are the voices in your head ♪
298
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,460
♪ Calling, Gloria? ♪
299
00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:41,910
- (SONG ENDS)
- (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
300
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,247
(BARKING)
301
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:53,939
(WHOOPING, LAUGHING)
302
00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:57,839
(LAUGHS): Okay, first
of all, that was hot.
303
00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,879
You two really undersold yourselves.
304
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,629
And then second of all,
it's time for you to go.
305
00:12:01,630 --> 00:12:03,599
- No. Really?
- Yeah. If you leave now,
306
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,391
you'll be fashionably
late to meet Brandon.
307
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,851
Oh, I'm not going.
308
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,139
I'm not going.
309
00:12:10,140 --> 00:12:12,119
So, wait. You're just
gonna stand Brandon up
310
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,599
after you told me I had to be nice
311
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,330
to everybody, including Daniel?
312
00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:17,819
Oh. Which, by the way, turned
into a whole other thing, girl.
313
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,939
I'll tell you about that later.
314
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:22,079
Look, you saw us up there.
315
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,999
Maybe there's some reason
that Max broke up with Brigitte
316
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,745
and ended up working next door to me.
317
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,919
Maybe he's the first person who
had to leave Paris to find love.
318
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,369
I have to play this out.
319
00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:32,627
So what are you gonna tell Brandon?
320
00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:33,919
I don't know.
321
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,499
That my diarrhea got real bad.
322
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:39,299
Okay, well, you know in
order to be the kind of girl
323
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,739
who goes out on two dates in one night,
324
00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:42,899
you actually have to go on both dates.
325
00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:44,460
But your call.
326
00:12:44,470 --> 00:12:45,807
Wingwoman out.
327
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,460
RANDI: Hey, guys.
328
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,239
Don't judge me.
329
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,559
I mean, you saw what I felt.
330
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,380
We "Gloria'd" in unison.
331
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:01,069
- That was fun.
- So fun.
332
00:13:01,070 --> 00:13:02,979
So, you're really into France, huh?
333
00:13:02,980 --> 00:13:03,989
We should go there someday.
334
00:13:03,990 --> 00:13:05,992
Maybe get on the French cabaret circuit?
335
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,139
Oh, I would love that.
336
00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:08,679
I do need to get back there.
337
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,290
See Brigitte.
338
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,619
Oh? I thought you broke up with her.
339
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:15,419
No.
340
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,796
She broke up with me.
341
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,216
But I'm gonna get her back.
342
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:22,959
Really?
343
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,589
Well, I know you can do anything
344
00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:27,100
- you set your mind to.
- Hmm.
345
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:29,391
Remember when you won
those two giant pandas
346
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,839
at the "water in the clown's mouth"
game at Kentucky Kingdom?
347
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,260
I mean, I've seen people
win one giant animal,
348
00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:35,939
but you won two.
349
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,567
(LAUGHS): I forgot about that.
350
00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:39,309
I didn't.
351
00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:41,019
Wow, total misread.
352
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:43,689
I have to get out of here.
353
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:46,359
So... I got to go.
354
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:49,119
Oh, right. 'Cause you
got your drinks thing.
355
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,219
Yeah. Yeah, that's it. (CHUCKLES)
356
00:13:52,220 --> 00:13:53,540
I'll see ya.
357
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,659
- Hey, Kat?
- Yeah?
358
00:13:56,660 --> 00:13:58,338
There's something around your ankle.
359
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,289
(GASPS) No way!
360
00:14:01,290 --> 00:14:03,718
This is so much worse than a sock.
361
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:06,419
Oh, Andy, oh...
362
00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:08,390
Andy. No. Andy.
363
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,639
Andy, I got to go.
364
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,179
Heel! Heel! Andy!
365
00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:12,619
Little Andy, release the panties!
366
00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:14,854
- Release the panties!
- Stop staying "panties"!
367
00:14:20,470 --> 00:14:23,696
(TOILET FLUSHING)
368
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,699
How you doing?
369
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,328
Well, ironically, I seem to
have given myself diarrhea.
370
00:14:30,329 --> 00:14:33,029
Oh, that reminds me.
371
00:14:33,030 --> 00:14:35,469
Carter found your drawers
underneath a table,
372
00:14:35,470 --> 00:14:36,626
and he dropped them off for you.
373
00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:39,219
Wow. He even put them in a plastic bag
374
00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:40,755
like they're evidence.
375
00:14:40,756 --> 00:14:42,900
That would never happen to me.
376
00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:47,469
Let me guess: because
you don't wear underwear?
377
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:52,639
No. Because my buttocks holds
my thong so securely in place.
378
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,679
Brigitte, I can't with you right now.
379
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,147
I can't with you right now.
380
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,559
Listen, you entertained a lot of people
381
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,099
in a lot of different ways last night.
382
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,611
I don't think you should feel bad.
383
00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:04,699
Oh, I don't feel bad.
384
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:06,479
I feel exhausted.
385
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,919
Dating takes so much effort and energy.
386
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,119
And I didn't even go on a date.
387
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,160
Well, let me ask you something.
388
00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:16,124
When's the last time
you had a boyfriend?
389
00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:17,999
Serious boyfriend?
390
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,999
It's been a minute.
391
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,560
I dated a guy named
Walter for four years.
392
00:15:22,570 --> 00:15:23,899
He was a teacher.
393
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,119
Good one. Chemistry.
394
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,799
Then he had all these medical bills,
395
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,419
and he needed more money,
396
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:32,079
so he started using his
skills to make meth.
397
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,976
No, uh-uh, that's Breaking Bad.
398
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,979
It did break bad.
399
00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:40,349
Fine.
400
00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:44,119
My longest relationship
lasted three months.
401
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,379
They just sort of peter out.
402
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:49,599
Which is funny, because that's
exactly what my ex, Peter, said
403
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,160
when we broke up.
404
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:53,460
But he said it like, "Peter out."
405
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,460
Well, you know dating is just
dating until you get married.
406
00:15:57,470 --> 00:15:59,167
It's not supposed to last.
407
00:15:59,168 --> 00:16:02,859
I know. But I had a date
with a nice, dimple-y guy,
408
00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:04,999
and then I was so sure that
something was happening
409
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,299
with me and Max when apparently
nothing was happening
410
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,129
with me and Max.
411
00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:11,039
Can I tell you something?
412
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,180
You make running a business look easy.
413
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,099
I wouldn't know what the hell to do.
414
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,269
Dating is hard for some people.
415
00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:18,978
Don't beat yourself up.
416
00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:21,849
Thank you, Randi.
417
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,605
Plus, you don't have
to give up on Dimples.
418
00:16:24,606 --> 00:16:26,319
You think he'd still go out with me
419
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,155
after I so rudely blew him
off at the last minute?
420
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:32,600
Us dating professionals call
that playing hard to get.
421
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,760
I've always wanted to play hard to get.
422
00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:40,679
Hey, hey. What's up, little man?
423
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,219
- We still on for tonight?
- Yeah. We gonna drink some beer
424
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,289
and watch some sports-ball?
425
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:48,979
I thought you said you were
gonna teach me and Carter Jr.
426
00:16:48,980 --> 00:16:50,089
how to make cinnamon rolls.
427
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:52,809
Oh, thank God. I couldn't
remember what we settled on.
428
00:16:52,810 --> 00:16:55,320
Those two beers had me sweating so bad,
429
00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,239
I fell asleep on the kitchen floor
430
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,979
with the refrigerator door open.
431
00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:01,849
I used a bag of frozen corn as a pillow.
432
00:17:01,850 --> 00:17:04,779
Hey, all right, well,
I'll pick you up at 6:00.
433
00:17:04,780 --> 00:17:05,940
Okay.
434
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,199
Oh, hello.
435
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,079
Well, my boss says I have
to be nice to you, so:
436
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:15,079
- Welcome to Kat's Cat Café.
- (CHUCKLES)
437
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,779
How can we make your day purr-fect?
438
00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:20,539
(CHUCKLES) I'll have my regular, please.
439
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,759
Oh, no, no, no, I'm sorry,
remembering customers' orders
440
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,959
is another perk of tipping.
441
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,519
- Soy vanilla latte.
- Mm.
442
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:31,509
And I brought you... this.
443
00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:34,339
Film?
444
00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:36,679
Yeah. Looked you up, too.
You're a photographer.
445
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:37,760
I like your stuff.
446
00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:40,268
I'm pretty sure that's
the kind of film you use.
447
00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:42,599
So is this my tip?
448
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,079
No. No.
449
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,059
It's, um... it's a gift.
450
00:17:46,060 --> 00:17:47,482
So you're still not tipping?
451
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,799
Mm-mm. No, sticking to
my guns on that one.
452
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,899
They actually had a tip
jar at the camera store.
453
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:53,281
I didn't tip there, either.
454
00:17:53,282 --> 00:17:54,940
Wait, a tip jar at a camera store?
455
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:56,618
Okay, now, that is bananas.
456
00:17:56,619 --> 00:17:59,529
(MOCK GASP) So we agree on something.
457
00:17:59,530 --> 00:18:02,081
- That'll be $3.45.
- (CHUCKLES)
458
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,320
And not a penny more.
459
00:18:10,140 --> 00:18:12,919
Whoa, he is a piece of work.
460
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,960
So are you gonna go out with him?
461
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,699
Maybe.
462
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:19,600
Will you drop my number at his table?
463
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,269
Are you Brandon?
464
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,099
- I am.
- I'm Kat.
465
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:29,029
- Oh, Kat.
- Yeah. Yeah. I just...
466
00:18:29,030 --> 00:18:31,859
I feel terrible about
blowing you off last night.
467
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,219
It's just not who I am.
468
00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:36,919
So, um, I brought you
some pastries from my café
469
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,699
- by way of apology.
- Oh.
470
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,179
Thank you.
471
00:18:40,180 --> 00:18:41,287
How's the tummy?
472
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,499
Right as rain.
473
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,040
It's still a little bubbly.
474
00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:50,119
Look, maybe you would consider
giving us a second chance
475
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,003
to, like, go out on the town,
476
00:18:52,004 --> 00:18:54,689
let our hair down, maybe
kick off our heels...
477
00:18:54,690 --> 00:18:56,230
Oh!
478
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:58,512
- You okay?
- Yeah.
479
00:18:58,513 --> 00:19:00,056
(CLICKS TONGUE, CHUCKLES)
480
00:19:00,057 --> 00:19:02,459
There must be some misunderstanding.
481
00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:04,099
When I asked your mother if
you'd be open to meeting up,
482
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,687
it wasn't for a date.
483
00:19:05,688 --> 00:19:07,819
Oh...
484
00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:09,620
Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.
485
00:19:09,630 --> 00:19:11,679
(CHUCKLES): Yeah. Ooh.
486
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,479
Uh, what was it for?
487
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,439
It was to get your advice
on starting a business.
488
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,239
See, my real dream is
to open a cigar bar.
489
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,159
Call it something like Butts
on Fire, maybe Nice Ash.
490
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,549
I'm sorry for the confusion.
I'm married.
491
00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:27,789
Oh. Ho-ho, so you are.
492
00:19:27,790 --> 00:19:29,559
Oh, and your kids have dimples, too.
493
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,546
That is a dominant gene,
you know. (CHUCKLES)
494
00:19:31,547 --> 00:19:34,839
Dimple, dimple, dimple. Oh.
495
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,929
- (SHATTERS)
- Oh, sorry! That is broken, yeah.
496
00:19:37,930 --> 00:19:39,009
Um, I...
497
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:41,389
I'll send you a new frame. (CHUCKLES)
498
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,475
- Hey, Bran, you ready for lunch?
- Oh.
499
00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:46,429
Yeah. Are you okay?
500
00:19:46,430 --> 00:19:47,659
Absolutely.
501
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:50,339
- Yeah. Enjoy your lunch.
- After you.
502
00:19:50,340 --> 00:19:52,060
No. After you.
503
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,899
There are times in your
life when you think:
504
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:02,359
what did it all mean?
505
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,760
You know, what was the lesson?
506
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,959
I bet on two different guys
507
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,779
only to discover that I didn't
have much of a chance
508
00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:11,519
with either one of them.
509
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,479
But I say it was worth it.
510
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,319
It was all worth it.
511
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:16,758
'Cause it led me here.
512
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,635
(SIGHS)
513
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,139
Lemons, meet lemonade.
514
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,399
And they're off!
515
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,959
And taking the lead, it's Don't
Get Set Up by Your Mama.
516
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,119
Coming up quickly in second is
A Friend's a Friend Forever,
517
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:37,528
followed by ♪ Gloria! ♪
518
00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:40,069
Gaining on the pack is Stay Positive,
519
00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:42,239
but Sweet Lemonade is coming up fast!
520
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,970
Oh, it's Sweet Lemonade
for the win! Whoo!
521
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:51,819
Oh, my God, Katharine,
522
00:20:51,820 --> 00:20:55,584
- it turns out Brandon is married.
- Married. I know it, Mother.
523
00:20:55,585 --> 00:20:57,963
But not to worry, because
I found another prospect.
524
00:20:57,964 --> 00:20:59,559
I am never going out with someone
525
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,174
you set me up with again.
526
00:21:01,175 --> 00:21:02,383
He drives a Zamboni.
527
00:21:02,384 --> 00:21:04,594
I am fascinated by that skill set.
528
00:21:04,595 --> 00:21:06,840
- I know you are.
- Let me see a picture.
529
00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:11,520
♪ ♪
530
00:21:27,180 --> 00:21:29,789
- Let me see that picture again.
- Okay.
531
00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:31,759
- So he is actually a Zamboni...
- He's got a mustache.
532
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,499
- Is that a problem?
- How do you spell "Zamboni"?
533
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,089
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
534
00:21:35,090 --> 00:21:39,920
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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