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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:08,037 Ground floor, perfumery, stationery 2 00:00:08,037 --> 00:00:09,819 and leather goods, wigs and haberdashery, 3 00:00:09,819 --> 00:00:12,402 kitchenware and food, going up. 4 00:00:17,442 --> 00:00:20,367 First floor, telephones, gents ready-made suits, 5 00:00:20,367 --> 00:00:23,897 shirts, socks, ties, hats, underwear and shoes, going up. 6 00:00:23,897 --> 00:00:25,596 - Good morning, Captain Peacock. 7 00:00:25,596 --> 00:00:26,429 - 8:58. 8 00:00:27,768 --> 00:00:30,464 - As departmental head of ladies' ready-mades 9 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,092 I hardly think it necessary for me 10 00:00:32,092 --> 00:00:34,504 to clock in like a char. 11 00:00:34,504 --> 00:00:35,795 - I'm not asking you to do anything 12 00:00:35,795 --> 00:00:38,376 that I have not done myself, Mrs. Slocombe. 13 00:00:38,376 --> 00:00:40,209 Captain Peacock, 8:31. 14 00:00:43,196 --> 00:00:44,803 And what has happened to Miss Brahms? 15 00:00:44,803 --> 00:00:47,772 - She isn't late, she's powdering her nose. 16 00:00:47,772 --> 00:00:48,955 - She ought to sign in first. 17 00:00:48,955 --> 00:00:51,448 - It was very urgent that she powdered it when she did. 18 00:00:52,812 --> 00:00:55,729 And I gave her permission so to do. 19 00:00:59,863 --> 00:01:02,235 - Morning, Daphne. - Morning. 20 00:01:02,235 --> 00:01:04,194 - Morning, Captain Peacock. 21 00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:05,361 8:59 and 10... 22 00:01:07,252 --> 00:01:08,708 10 seconds, yes. 23 00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:11,740 I would've been here at 8:58 but I caught 24 00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:12,797 my handbag in the lift. 25 00:01:15,752 --> 00:01:16,877 - Well, it's Miss Brahms' actually. 26 00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,377 She left it on the stairs. 27 00:01:18,377 --> 00:01:20,929 She must have been in rather a hurry. 28 00:01:20,929 --> 00:01:24,241 Besides, I wouldn't be seen dead with imitation crocodile. 29 00:01:24,241 --> 00:01:25,489 Not with these shoes, anyway. 30 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,189 Morning, Mr. Grainger. 31 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,761 - Good morning, Mr. Humphries. 32 00:01:29,761 --> 00:01:32,158 - My word, we have got nice rosy cheeks this morning. 33 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:34,072 - Yes, I walked through the park in order 34 00:01:34,072 --> 00:01:36,901 to give my toast crust to the ducks. 35 00:01:36,901 --> 00:01:38,774 My wife doesn't like me to leave them, 36 00:01:38,774 --> 00:01:43,457 but these new teeth of mine were a little too much for them. 37 00:01:43,457 --> 00:01:46,681 You know, even the ducks have to wait until they go soggy. 38 00:01:48,677 --> 00:01:49,620 - They'll probably be all right 39 00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:51,001 when you've run them in a bit. 40 00:01:53,717 --> 00:01:55,264 - That was a near thing. 41 00:01:55,264 --> 00:01:58,069 - Not quite near enough, Mr. Lucas. 42 00:01:58,069 --> 00:02:00,001 It is one minute past nine. 43 00:02:02,913 --> 00:02:05,400 - That is not the point, Mr. Lucas. 44 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,281 You're expected here at nine o'clock, not one minute after. 45 00:02:08,281 --> 00:02:09,114 - Ah well, Captain, I was here. 46 00:02:09,114 --> 00:02:10,773 I was outside at five minutes to nine, 47 00:02:10,773 --> 00:02:12,709 but just as I was coming in a man was crossing 48 00:02:12,709 --> 00:02:14,101 the road and he got knocked down. 49 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:15,676 A tall, military-looking man he was. 50 00:02:15,676 --> 00:02:17,957 Oh deary me, I thought, it's Captain Peacock. 51 00:02:17,957 --> 00:02:19,789 He was early like me and he's got knocked down 52 00:02:19,789 --> 00:02:20,701 crossing the road. 53 00:02:22,069 --> 00:02:23,701 My heart was in my mouth, sir. 54 00:02:23,701 --> 00:02:25,186 I thought to myself, not Captain Peacock, 55 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:27,288 not struck down at the height of his career. 56 00:02:27,288 --> 00:02:28,634 "Stand back!" I said. 57 00:02:28,634 --> 00:02:30,257 "I'll give my blood for Captain Peacock!" 58 00:02:31,517 --> 00:02:33,061 Anyway, by the time I fought me way through the crowd, 59 00:02:33,061 --> 00:02:34,669 found out it wasn't you, but some dirty old tramp 60 00:02:34,669 --> 00:02:35,929 and then got back here it was one minute after. 61 00:02:38,805 --> 00:02:39,690 Oh, just a minute, sir. 62 00:02:40,747 --> 00:02:42,787 - A small insect has crept out of your carnation 63 00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,691 and crouched on your collar. 64 00:02:46,055 --> 00:02:47,063 - Deal with it, Lucas. 65 00:02:47,063 --> 00:02:48,263 - Certainly, sir. 66 00:02:50,798 --> 00:02:51,888 There you are, it's dead. 67 00:02:55,835 --> 00:02:57,023 Was there anything else, sir? 68 00:02:57,023 --> 00:02:58,286 - Yes. 69 00:02:58,286 --> 00:03:00,727 Get me a 15 1/2 collar from stock 70 00:03:00,727 --> 00:03:03,350 and then present yourself to Mr. Rumbold's office 71 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,450 at 9:15 with your sales book. 72 00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:07,823 - Yes sir, certainly, sir. 73 00:03:07,823 --> 00:03:10,174 - Sorry I'm late, Captain Peacock. 74 00:03:10,174 --> 00:03:11,375 - That's all right, Miss Brahms. 75 00:03:13,641 --> 00:03:15,194 - She has been powdering her nose. 76 00:03:20,537 --> 00:03:21,988 - To your counter, Mr. Lucas. 77 00:03:21,988 --> 00:03:22,821 - Sir. 78 00:03:22,821 --> 00:03:27,767 - Take your coat. 79 00:03:29,672 --> 00:03:30,736 - He said I've got to report to Rumbold 80 00:03:30,736 --> 00:03:32,971 at 9:15 with my sales book. 81 00:03:32,971 --> 00:03:33,804 What does that mean? 82 00:03:33,804 --> 00:03:35,850 - Well, in the terms of the Almighty's grand plan 83 00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:38,144 for the universe, very little. 84 00:03:38,144 --> 00:03:39,180 But as far as you're concerned, 85 00:03:39,180 --> 00:03:40,876 it probably means you'll be at the Labor Exchange 86 00:03:40,876 --> 00:03:42,092 at half-past nine. 87 00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:46,050 - I was struggling with this for 10 minutes yesterday, 88 00:03:46,050 --> 00:03:48,092 and in front of a customer, too! 89 00:03:48,092 --> 00:03:49,292 - Mine's just as bad. 90 00:03:49,292 --> 00:03:51,616 It's this damp weather, it's always the same. 91 00:03:51,616 --> 00:03:54,335 I better give it a bit of encouragement. 92 00:03:57,092 --> 00:03:58,140 Well, they should be, Mr. Rumbold, 93 00:03:58,140 --> 00:03:59,567 it's nearly five past nine. 94 00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:02,734 - All righty, I'll go and have a word. 95 00:04:05,356 --> 00:04:06,872 Is Captain Peacock there? 96 00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,804 - He's just arrived, sir, he's just putting his collar on. 97 00:04:13,532 --> 00:04:15,584 - We expect you to get dressed before you arrive 98 00:04:15,584 --> 00:04:17,672 at Grace Brothers, Captain Peacock. 99 00:04:17,672 --> 00:04:21,512 I do not expect to find you unattired at five past nine. 100 00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,296 - I can explain, sir. 101 00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:24,580 - I don't want to hear any excuses, 102 00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:25,664 I want to have a word with all 103 00:04:25,664 --> 00:04:27,524 the members of your department. 104 00:04:27,524 --> 00:04:28,740 - Of course, sir, of course. 105 00:04:28,740 --> 00:04:30,676 Mr. Grainger, would you step this way, 106 00:04:30,676 --> 00:04:31,952 please, if you're free? 107 00:04:31,952 --> 00:04:34,539 - Yes, I'm free, Captain Peacock. 108 00:04:34,539 --> 00:04:36,031 - Mr. Humphries, Mr. Lucas. 109 00:04:36,031 --> 00:04:37,020 - Free, Captain Peacock. 110 00:04:37,020 --> 00:04:38,492 Oh, very free, Captain Peacock. 111 00:04:38,492 --> 00:04:40,088 - Step this way. 112 00:04:40,088 --> 00:04:43,759 Mrs. Slocombe, Miss Brahms, one moment, please. 113 00:04:43,759 --> 00:04:45,259 - Oh, Miss Brahms. 114 00:04:46,194 --> 00:04:48,231 Before we go any further, Mr. Rumbold, 115 00:04:48,231 --> 00:04:49,764 Miss Brahms and I would like to complain 116 00:04:49,764 --> 00:04:51,742 about the state of our drawers. 117 00:04:54,230 --> 00:04:56,014 They're a positive disgrace. 118 00:04:57,744 --> 00:04:59,316 - Our drawers, they're sticking. 119 00:04:59,316 --> 00:05:01,266 It's always the same 120 00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:02,600 in damp weather. 121 00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:05,747 - Miss Brahms could hardly shift hers at all just now. 122 00:05:10,906 --> 00:05:13,128 - They sent up a man who put beeswax on them 123 00:05:13,128 --> 00:05:14,368 but that made them worse. 124 00:05:16,068 --> 00:05:17,120 - I'm not surprised. 125 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,724 - I think they need sandpapering. 126 00:05:22,082 --> 00:05:24,678 - Well, you see, I puff French chalk on mine 127 00:05:24,678 --> 00:05:26,072 and they're as smooth as silk. 128 00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:29,508 - Well, perhaps you could puff some French chalk 129 00:05:29,508 --> 00:05:30,560 over Mrs. Slocombe's. 130 00:05:32,644 --> 00:05:34,668 - Would that solve your problem, Mrs. Slocombe? 131 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,228 - They ought to be changed. 132 00:05:36,228 --> 00:05:37,668 I've had them ever since I've been here. 133 00:05:40,022 --> 00:05:41,072 - Perhaps we can look into it 134 00:05:41,072 --> 00:05:42,572 some other time, Mrs. Slocombe. 135 00:05:42,572 --> 00:05:44,660 Mr. Rumbold has matters of a much more 136 00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:46,248 pressing nature to discuss. 137 00:05:46,248 --> 00:05:47,884 - They're very pressing as far as I'm concerned. 138 00:05:49,324 --> 00:05:51,092 Perhaps Mr. Rumbold would like to have a go 139 00:05:51,092 --> 00:05:53,704 and see how far he gets. 140 00:05:53,704 --> 00:05:55,083 - I think we should consider the matter closed 141 00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:56,600 for the moment, Mrs. Slocombe. 142 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,791 Now, I have been deeply distressed 143 00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:02,155 to learn of the slump in our sales over the past four weeks, 144 00:06:02,155 --> 00:06:03,881 which I'm sure you've all observed, hm? 145 00:06:03,881 --> 00:06:04,779 - Yes, I have observed it. 146 00:06:04,779 --> 00:06:06,154 Haven't you, Mr. Grainger? 147 00:06:06,154 --> 00:06:08,515 - Oh, a very definite slump, I would say. 148 00:06:08,515 --> 00:06:10,148 Had you observed it, Mr. Humphries? 149 00:06:10,148 --> 00:06:11,496 - Oh, I've observed it, Mr. Grainger. 150 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,516 You observed it, too, didn't you, 151 00:06:12,516 --> 00:06:13,550 Mr. Lucas? - Oh yes, definitely. 152 00:06:15,086 --> 00:06:17,246 I had observed it, Mr. Humphries, yes, oh yes. 153 00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:18,732 - If you remember rightly I mentioned it 154 00:06:18,732 --> 00:06:19,873 to you last Tuesday. 155 00:06:19,873 --> 00:06:22,646 - Yes, and I mentioned it to you Captain Peacock. 156 00:06:22,646 --> 00:06:23,594 - That's right. 157 00:06:23,594 --> 00:06:25,754 That's what caused me to discuss it with you, sir. 158 00:06:27,238 --> 00:06:30,221 - I think that's what first alerted me to the crisis 159 00:06:30,221 --> 00:06:32,097 in the first place. 160 00:06:32,097 --> 00:06:33,898 Now, the thing is, I don't want to put 161 00:06:33,898 --> 00:06:36,760 too fine a point upon it, why? 162 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:37,593 - Ah. 163 00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:41,054 Have you any theories to advance, Mr. Grainger? 164 00:06:41,054 --> 00:06:42,458 After all, you've been 165 00:06:42,458 --> 00:06:43,738 with us longer than most. 166 00:06:43,738 --> 00:06:48,200 - Well, from a very considerable experience in the trade, 167 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,670 I would say that these things come and go. 168 00:06:51,670 --> 00:06:53,170 - That's very true, of course. 169 00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:54,790 - And very profound. 170 00:06:56,032 --> 00:06:59,050 - As departmental head of the ladies' section, 171 00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:01,183 I think I should've been asked next. 172 00:07:01,183 --> 00:07:03,322 - Of course, Mrs. Slocombe, I'm sorry. 173 00:07:03,322 --> 00:07:04,598 Have you any suggestions? 174 00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:05,431 - No. 175 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,060 - Thank you. 176 00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:10,194 - But I do like to be asked. 177 00:07:10,194 --> 00:07:12,094 - Well, I think it's the weather, don't you, Mr. Lucas? 178 00:07:12,094 --> 00:07:13,598 - Yes, yes, that's it, definitely, definitely. 179 00:07:13,598 --> 00:07:15,670 Yes, it's definitely, oh, it's the weather, yes. 180 00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:17,360 That, plus the fact that we've had no customers. 181 00:07:19,990 --> 00:07:21,442 - Well, the points that you've all raised 182 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:25,609 are very valid, but I think the time has come for action. 183 00:07:26,590 --> 00:07:27,423 - Here, here. 184 00:07:27,423 --> 00:07:28,532 - Thank you. 185 00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:30,894 I therefore think it would pay us to examine 186 00:07:30,894 --> 00:07:33,382 our whole customer handling technique 187 00:07:33,382 --> 00:07:36,038 and to that end I shall be holding a course 188 00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:38,498 in salesmanship, a class in salesmanship, 189 00:07:38,498 --> 00:07:40,644 this evening after the store closes. 190 00:07:42,282 --> 00:07:44,230 - It's very short notice. 191 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:45,686 There's my pussy to consider. 192 00:07:47,590 --> 00:07:48,490 - I beg your pardon. 193 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,205 - If it's not convenient, I shall of course understand, 194 00:07:54,205 --> 00:07:57,054 but I would remind you all that unless sales improve 195 00:07:57,054 --> 00:08:00,304 we shall have to cut down on our staff. 196 00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:02,965 - Oh, it's convenient. 197 00:08:04,226 --> 00:08:05,458 - I suppose it'll be all right. 198 00:08:05,458 --> 00:08:07,302 - Tiddles will have to cross his legs. 199 00:08:09,670 --> 00:08:12,238 - I presume you will not be needing me, sir. 200 00:08:12,238 --> 00:08:15,206 I have two tickets for the Tidworth Tattoo. 201 00:08:15,206 --> 00:08:18,178 - Your attendance would be valuable, Captain Peacock. 202 00:08:18,178 --> 00:08:20,037 - It's ta-ta to the Tattoo. 203 00:08:21,386 --> 00:08:23,170 - Yes, well, I think that's all for the moment. 204 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,566 Oh, Mr. Lucas, perhaps you would come to my office now. 205 00:08:25,566 --> 00:08:27,833 I want to go over your personal sales record 206 00:08:27,833 --> 00:08:29,409 for the past month. 207 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,483 Oh, and bring your book with you, hm? 208 00:08:31,483 --> 00:08:32,400 - Yes, sir. 209 00:08:34,877 --> 00:08:36,093 - I don't know what you want your book for. 210 00:08:36,093 --> 00:08:38,313 I would've thought you'd remember your sales, 211 00:08:38,313 --> 00:08:39,240 all three of them. 212 00:08:40,455 --> 00:08:42,093 - Oh, charming. 213 00:08:42,093 --> 00:08:45,343 Hey-ho, hey-ho, it's out of work we go. 214 00:08:46,336 --> 00:08:47,237 - Honestly, it's the limit. 215 00:08:47,237 --> 00:08:49,213 They don't pass into your private life at all. 216 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,691 - No, but I might've had. 217 00:08:52,691 --> 00:08:54,701 - I suppose I ought to phone Mrs. Grainger 218 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,509 and tell her to keep the pie warm in the oven. 219 00:08:57,509 --> 00:09:00,161 - Yes, tell her to turn the Regulo down to a quarter. 220 00:09:00,161 --> 00:09:02,921 If she hardens that crust it'll play havoc with your gums. 221 00:09:05,652 --> 00:09:07,332 - Right, positions everybody, 222 00:09:07,332 --> 00:09:09,284 the meeting's over. 223 00:09:09,284 --> 00:09:10,589 Come on, ladies, come on, please. 224 00:09:11,578 --> 00:09:13,328 - Come in, Mr. Lucas. 225 00:09:16,976 --> 00:09:17,809 Oh. 226 00:09:26,272 --> 00:09:28,988 - I believe you wanted to have a little chat with me, sir. 227 00:09:28,988 --> 00:09:31,387 - Shut the door, please. 228 00:09:31,387 --> 00:09:35,647 Now, Lucas, I have here your personal sales graph. 229 00:09:35,647 --> 00:09:38,564 I presume you know what this means? 230 00:09:44,119 --> 00:09:45,799 - I'm afraid so. 231 00:09:45,799 --> 00:09:47,904 I presume you understand it? 232 00:09:47,904 --> 00:09:49,036 - Well, if I was a doctor the patient 233 00:09:49,036 --> 00:09:50,268 would be dead. 234 00:09:51,315 --> 00:09:53,657 - There is no cause for levity. 235 00:09:53,657 --> 00:09:55,265 - It's nerves, sir. 236 00:09:55,265 --> 00:09:56,973 - Understandable. 237 00:09:56,973 --> 00:10:00,723 Nonetheless, this is a very poor performance. 238 00:10:07,413 --> 00:10:10,053 I always think that there is a reason 239 00:10:10,053 --> 00:10:12,977 for a poor performance. 240 00:10:12,977 --> 00:10:16,394 Now, a happy salesman is a good salesman. 241 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,189 And you don't look happy, Mr. Lucas. 242 00:10:20,749 --> 00:10:24,614 I think if you could smile more it would help. 243 00:10:24,614 --> 00:10:25,985 - Well, I'm sorry if I haven't 244 00:10:25,985 --> 00:10:28,037 been smiling enough, Mr. Rumbold. 245 00:10:28,037 --> 00:10:29,540 - There must be a reason. 246 00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:32,028 Are you, and I don't wish to pry, 247 00:10:32,028 --> 00:10:35,942 but are you, are you unhappy at home? 248 00:10:35,942 --> 00:10:36,775 - Ah, yes. 249 00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:42,208 That could very well be it, yes. 250 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,373 - And now we're getting somewhere. 251 00:10:43,373 --> 00:10:44,665 Sit down and tell me about it. 252 00:10:44,665 --> 00:10:46,585 - Thank you, yes. 253 00:10:51,896 --> 00:10:54,477 It's my environment, you see, sir. 254 00:10:54,477 --> 00:10:56,805 You see, I've only got this one shabby little room. 255 00:10:57,869 --> 00:11:00,748 - Yes, yes, a very poor part of Highgate, though, mind. 256 00:11:00,748 --> 00:11:02,925 And ever since we took in that Asian 257 00:11:02,925 --> 00:11:04,483 to help make ends meet, well... 258 00:11:05,893 --> 00:11:07,889 The strain has been too much for my crippled mother 259 00:11:07,889 --> 00:11:10,512 and she's had to give up her job at the skating rink. 260 00:11:12,882 --> 00:11:14,996 Taking the tickets. 261 00:11:14,996 --> 00:11:17,036 - I had no idea. 262 00:11:17,036 --> 00:11:18,656 - Yes. 263 00:11:18,656 --> 00:11:20,221 Well... 264 00:11:23,713 --> 00:11:25,709 What with that and the fact that 265 00:11:25,709 --> 00:11:28,093 the cat's got asthma and has been 266 00:11:28,093 --> 00:11:31,513 coughing all night. 267 00:11:31,513 --> 00:11:33,087 Well, with all that and also the fact that I 268 00:11:33,087 --> 00:11:36,922 have to, we have to cook on a broken old gas ring, well, 269 00:11:36,922 --> 00:11:39,088 there are days when somehow life seems 270 00:11:39,088 --> 00:11:41,785 to have lost its magic. 271 00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,196 And particularly since we've had 272 00:11:43,196 --> 00:11:44,589 an eviction order this morning. 273 00:11:46,377 --> 00:11:49,209 But as you suggest, Mr. Rumbold, I will do my best 274 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,954 and try and smile a bit more. 275 00:11:55,317 --> 00:11:57,145 - This really is a most terrible story. 276 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,967 - I feel it should be entered into your record. 277 00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:03,800 - Ah, yes. 278 00:12:04,772 --> 00:12:07,936 - Now, let me see, you live in Cripplegate. 279 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:08,769 - Highgate. 280 00:12:09,883 --> 00:12:10,855 - Highgate, Highgate. 281 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:13,028 And your mother is an Asian. 282 00:12:13,028 --> 00:12:15,820 - No, no, we took in an Asian. 283 00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:16,819 - Your mother has a cough. 284 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,272 - No, no, the cat's got the cough. 285 00:12:20,008 --> 00:12:24,175 - And you're supporting this Asian on a broken gas ring. 286 00:12:28,676 --> 00:12:30,460 - Yes, well, if the elastic goes again, 287 00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:32,936 we'll return them to the manufacturer's. 288 00:12:32,936 --> 00:12:34,686 Good morning, madame. 289 00:12:39,289 --> 00:12:43,135 - Mrs. Slocombe, I hope your cat won't suffer unduly 290 00:12:43,135 --> 00:12:45,236 from its enforced confinement. 291 00:12:45,236 --> 00:12:48,520 - Oh, it's not confined, it's shut up. 292 00:12:50,622 --> 00:12:53,443 Well, let's hope that you won't be too late. 293 00:12:53,443 --> 00:12:56,392 - And too bad about your Tattoo, Captain Peacock. 294 00:12:56,392 --> 00:12:57,644 - I always thought tattoos were things 295 00:12:57,644 --> 00:13:00,066 you did on men's chests with needles and blue ink. 296 00:13:01,507 --> 00:13:03,607 - Not only on men's chests, Miss Brahms. 297 00:13:05,363 --> 00:13:08,079 - Oh, Captain Peacock, what will you say next? 298 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:11,736 Well, as a matter of fact, it reminds me 299 00:13:11,736 --> 00:13:15,767 of a bit of doggerel I picked up in the mess. 300 00:13:15,767 --> 00:13:16,600 - Oh yes. 301 00:13:19,468 --> 00:13:22,331 - On the chest of a barmaid from sail, 302 00:13:22,331 --> 00:13:24,910 was tattooed all the prices of ale. 303 00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:26,188 Whilst on her behind 304 00:13:26,188 --> 00:13:28,392 for the sake of the blind 305 00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:30,620 was precisely the same but in Braille. 306 00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,456 - I do hope your husband likes the sweater, madame. 307 00:13:47,456 --> 00:13:49,616 And the washing instructions are very simple. 308 00:13:49,616 --> 00:13:53,064 Use lukewarm water, no soap, no detergent, 309 00:13:53,064 --> 00:13:55,152 and don't put it in the washing machine. 310 00:13:56,276 --> 00:13:59,880 And don't dry it in the sun or in front of an open fire. 311 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:04,032 Oh, and madame, if I were you, half revs on the spin dryer. 312 00:14:09,144 --> 00:14:10,300 You're back quick, I was just going to start 313 00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:12,100 a collection for your leaving present. 314 00:14:13,692 --> 00:14:15,083 - I talked me self out of it. 315 00:14:15,083 --> 00:14:15,940 I'm stayin' on. 316 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,199 About your grandfather in the iron lung 317 00:14:18,199 --> 00:14:20,419 and how you can't afford a shilling for the meter? 318 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,119 - No, I gave him the crippled mother 319 00:14:23,119 --> 00:14:24,753 with the Asian and the asthmatic cat. 320 00:14:25,714 --> 00:14:27,305 - You used a lot of material, there. 321 00:14:28,579 --> 00:14:29,767 What did he say? 322 00:14:29,767 --> 00:14:33,090 - He said I should try and smile a bit more. 323 00:14:36,139 --> 00:14:38,984 - Take that silly grin off your face, Mr. Lucas. 324 00:14:38,984 --> 00:14:40,891 It's very bad for trade. 325 00:14:45,649 --> 00:14:47,511 - Take no notice of him, he's jealous. 326 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:49,115 If he tried it they'd drop on the floor. 327 00:14:51,275 --> 00:14:53,315 - No talking, Lucas, there's a customer. 328 00:14:54,187 --> 00:14:55,427 We'd better have a two-minute silence. 329 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:57,811 - Don't be facetious, Mr. Lucas. 330 00:14:57,811 --> 00:14:59,567 Your future with this firm is still very much 331 00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:01,247 in the balance, you know. 332 00:15:01,247 --> 00:15:02,627 Mr. Grainger, are you free? 333 00:15:02,627 --> 00:15:05,512 - Oh yes, yes I'm free, Captain Peacock. 334 00:15:05,512 --> 00:15:06,971 Yours. 335 00:15:07,959 --> 00:15:08,882 - Sharp! 336 00:15:17,569 --> 00:15:19,731 - No, and I'd like to see the assistant 337 00:15:19,731 --> 00:15:21,455 who served me last Tuesday. 338 00:15:21,455 --> 00:15:24,379 - Oh yes, that will be our Mr. Humphries, I think. 339 00:15:24,379 --> 00:15:26,405 Mr. Humphries, are you free? 340 00:15:26,405 --> 00:15:28,113 - Yes, I'm free, Mr. Grainger. 341 00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:33,875 Morning, sir, can I help you? 342 00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:36,279 - No, it wasn't you I wanted. 343 00:15:36,279 --> 00:15:38,719 He was younger and good looking. 344 00:15:38,719 --> 00:15:40,627 - Oh. 345 00:15:40,627 --> 00:15:41,975 It had to happen eventually. 346 00:15:43,518 --> 00:15:45,831 - Well, then it must be our Mr. Lucas. 347 00:15:45,831 --> 00:15:47,481 Are you free, Mr. Lucas? 348 00:15:47,481 --> 00:15:50,760 - Oh, as free as air, Mr. Grainger. 349 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,795 - Yes, that's the one I want. 350 00:15:52,795 --> 00:15:54,187 - There's no accounting for taste. 351 00:15:56,275 --> 00:15:59,035 - Well, I'll leave you with our Mr. Lucas. 352 00:15:59,035 --> 00:16:00,655 - Yes, I remember you, sir. 353 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:02,303 You're the gentleman I sold the Glen Check 354 00:16:02,303 --> 00:16:04,463 with the two vests to last Tuesday. 355 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:07,043 - That's right, and you said if I decided 356 00:16:07,043 --> 00:16:09,353 I didn't like it, I could bring it back 357 00:16:09,353 --> 00:16:11,602 and you'd refund my money. 358 00:16:16,418 --> 00:16:18,668 - Yes, and I don't like it. 359 00:16:19,959 --> 00:16:21,874 - Well, ya did like it. 360 00:16:21,874 --> 00:16:23,891 - Well, it's my wife that doesn't like it. 361 00:16:23,891 --> 00:16:27,023 - Yeah, well, Glen Checks take a bit of getting used to. 362 00:16:27,023 --> 00:16:28,167 - I don't want to get used to it, 363 00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:30,007 I just want my money back. 364 00:16:30,007 --> 00:16:32,643 - If I may interrupt for a moment, sir, 365 00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:35,147 we are of course willing to accept the return 366 00:16:35,147 --> 00:16:39,495 of your garment, but it is not our policy to refund. 367 00:16:39,495 --> 00:16:42,527 We can however give you a credit note for that amount. 368 00:16:42,527 --> 00:16:43,667 - But he said if I didn't like it 369 00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:45,917 I could have my money back. 370 00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:51,795 I might have done. 371 00:16:53,635 --> 00:16:55,591 - Well, in a sudden rush of enthusiasm 372 00:16:55,591 --> 00:16:58,522 I might have given that impression. 373 00:16:58,522 --> 00:17:00,331 - Mr. Lucas, did you or did you not 374 00:17:00,331 --> 00:17:02,731 say that the customer could have his money back? 375 00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:04,395 I must have an answer. 376 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:10,259 - Well, in the light of Mr. Lucas's confession, sir, 377 00:17:10,259 --> 00:17:14,294 we have no alternative but to return your money. 378 00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:15,627 Lucas, the till. 379 00:17:18,218 --> 00:17:20,971 - Oh, things to be improving for you, Mr. Lucas. 380 00:17:20,971 --> 00:17:23,035 How much am I to ring up? 381 00:17:23,035 --> 00:17:25,600 - Ring down 20 pounds and 50 pence. 382 00:17:32,039 --> 00:17:33,855 - What a load of old codswallop this is. 383 00:17:34,789 --> 00:17:35,622 - No. 384 00:17:37,308 --> 00:17:40,031 - How 'bout comin' out to the pictures with me, then? 385 00:17:41,009 --> 00:17:42,447 - Well, there's Bambi at Studio 2 386 00:17:42,447 --> 00:17:44,547 and then 'round the corner there's The Unsatisfied Virgin. 387 00:17:47,498 --> 00:17:48,987 I've seen Bambi. 388 00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:52,375 - Forget that because by the time Rumbold's finished 389 00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,397 rabbiting on, the virgin will have been satisfied 390 00:17:54,397 --> 00:17:55,751 and they'll all have gone home. 391 00:17:58,123 --> 00:17:59,439 - I'll tell you what, you pretend to faint 392 00:17:59,439 --> 00:18:00,290 and I'll carry you out. 393 00:18:01,519 --> 00:18:03,303 - I can't faint without an excuse. 394 00:18:03,303 --> 00:18:04,535 - We'll tell 'em you're having a baby. 395 00:18:04,535 --> 00:18:07,383 - What a pity your ear holes aren't a bit bigger. 396 00:18:08,216 --> 00:18:09,230 - 'Cause then you could shove a toothbrush 397 00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:11,135 in them and clean out that filthy mind of yours. 398 00:18:13,055 --> 00:18:14,958 - Look out, here comes Rumbold. 399 00:18:16,219 --> 00:18:18,559 - Oh, just coming, Mr. Rumbold. 400 00:18:18,559 --> 00:18:20,642 I was putting my evening face on. 401 00:18:22,578 --> 00:18:23,583 - And it's even lovelier than 402 00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:25,279 the morning one, Mrs. Slocombe. 403 00:18:25,279 --> 00:18:27,406 Oh, thank you, Mr. Lucas. 404 00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:28,939 - All right now, I've delegated Mr. Humphries 405 00:18:28,939 --> 00:18:30,891 to get some refreshments from the canteen, sir. 406 00:18:30,891 --> 00:18:32,631 Hot cocoa and buns. 407 00:18:32,631 --> 00:18:33,995 - Hot cocoa, Miss Brahms. 408 00:18:33,995 --> 00:18:34,828 Did you hear that? 409 00:18:34,828 --> 00:18:36,051 Hot cocoa and buns. 410 00:18:36,051 --> 00:18:37,639 It makes the whole thing worthwhile. 411 00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:40,415 - Of course there'll be a collection for it. 412 00:18:41,751 --> 00:18:43,399 - Oh, I think the management will allow 413 00:18:43,399 --> 00:18:45,019 that out of the petty cash. 414 00:18:45,019 --> 00:18:47,119 - Oh, that's most generous, Mr. Rumbold. 415 00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:48,494 Yes, Grace Brothers certainly know how 416 00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:49,939 to look after their workers. 417 00:18:49,939 --> 00:18:51,291 - Oh well, we do our best. 418 00:18:51,291 --> 00:18:54,243 A satisfied team is an efficient team. 419 00:18:54,243 --> 00:18:56,765 - And a satisfied virgin is a virgin no longer. 420 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:01,083 - Dinner is served. 421 00:19:05,386 --> 00:19:06,691 Where shall I put it? 422 00:19:06,691 --> 00:19:07,690 - I guess we can 423 00:19:07,690 --> 00:19:09,523 serve it on the table. 424 00:19:11,791 --> 00:19:12,903 - Right, now then. 425 00:19:12,903 --> 00:19:14,427 Oh, where's Mr. Grainger? 426 00:19:14,427 --> 00:19:15,887 - He was here a short time ago, sir, 427 00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:17,899 taking stock of his shirts. 428 00:19:17,899 --> 00:19:19,637 See if you can find him, Mr. Lucas, will you? 429 00:19:19,637 --> 00:19:20,934 - Oh yes, certainly, Captain Peacock. 430 00:19:20,934 --> 00:19:22,842 He's probably putting his evening set of teeth in. 431 00:19:24,116 --> 00:19:26,304 Mr. Grainger, Mr. Grainger. 432 00:19:26,304 --> 00:19:27,137 Mr... 433 00:19:31,758 --> 00:19:33,482 I've got some bad news. 434 00:19:33,482 --> 00:19:35,941 I think Mr. Grainger's died at his post. 435 00:19:38,494 --> 00:19:39,454 Unless I'm terribly mistaken, 436 00:19:39,454 --> 00:19:40,606 he's gone down with his shirts. 437 00:19:43,079 --> 00:19:45,394 - Don't be witty, Mr. Lucas. 438 00:19:45,394 --> 00:19:47,462 After this morning's incident your continued employment 439 00:19:47,462 --> 00:19:50,626 with Grace Brothers is a matter for grave doubt. 440 00:19:53,642 --> 00:19:56,342 - Poor old soul, he's been on his feet all day. 441 00:19:56,342 --> 00:19:58,682 He probably goes to sleep about this time on the train. 442 00:19:58,682 --> 00:20:01,278 - Mr. Grainger. - Mr. Grainger. 443 00:20:01,278 --> 00:20:02,446 - Mr. Grainger. 444 00:20:02,446 --> 00:20:04,442 - Miss Brahms. 445 00:20:04,442 --> 00:20:06,065 - Mr. Grainger. 446 00:20:06,065 --> 00:20:07,117 - Baldy. 447 00:20:09,129 --> 00:20:11,989 - One hesitates to lay hands on him, but still-- 448 00:20:11,989 --> 00:20:13,897 - Oh no, I wouldn't if I were you, Mr. Rumbold, no, no. 449 00:20:13,897 --> 00:20:15,081 I mean, just think of it. 450 00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:17,117 Sudden shock, heart attack, kicks the bucket. 451 00:20:17,117 --> 00:20:20,216 News of the World, "Aged Worker Dies at Hands of Overseer." 452 00:20:20,216 --> 00:20:21,436 That wouldn't look good for Grace Brothers 453 00:20:21,436 --> 00:20:23,315 now would it? 454 00:20:23,315 --> 00:20:25,590 - Okay, Captain Peacock, I think I know what to do. 455 00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:27,183 Are you free, Mr. Grainger? 456 00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:28,311 - Yes, I'm free. 457 00:20:31,098 --> 00:20:32,823 Oh, good afternoon, sir. 458 00:20:32,823 --> 00:20:34,200 - Good afternoon, Mr. Grainger. 459 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,019 I think we're ready for you now. 460 00:20:36,019 --> 00:20:38,238 - Oh, I'm ready, sir, yes. 461 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:42,155 - Now, if you'll all take your places. 462 00:20:42,155 --> 00:20:43,905 - Thank you, Captain. 463 00:20:44,882 --> 00:20:45,887 - Now then. 464 00:20:45,887 --> 00:20:48,913 The first question we have to decide on is 465 00:20:48,913 --> 00:20:52,127 do we take our cocoa and buns now 466 00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:54,527 or do we wait until we've been going for an hour or two? 467 00:20:57,799 --> 00:21:01,722 Mrs. Slocombe, do you feel like having cocoa and buns now? 468 00:21:01,722 --> 00:21:04,078 - I never feel like having cocoa and buns. 469 00:21:05,578 --> 00:21:07,361 If I'd known the firm was going to be so stingy 470 00:21:07,361 --> 00:21:09,538 I'd have gone out and had a Wimpy cheeseburger. 471 00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:13,630 - I believe there's some cheese in the buns. 472 00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:16,002 - I don't like cheese. 473 00:21:16,002 --> 00:21:19,842 - There's not very much cheese in the buns. 474 00:21:19,842 --> 00:21:22,582 - I feel I should mention that young Mr. Grace 475 00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:25,057 may be coming through during our conference, 476 00:21:25,057 --> 00:21:26,978 so perhaps it would be as well to eat now 477 00:21:26,978 --> 00:21:29,298 and get the, uh, get the, um, uh-- 478 00:21:29,298 --> 00:21:30,458 - Get the banquet over and done with, yes. 479 00:21:31,602 --> 00:21:32,518 - I second that. 480 00:21:32,518 --> 00:21:33,794 And let's not bother about seniority, 481 00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:35,572 let's just dive in, eh? 482 00:21:35,572 --> 00:21:37,374 - Good idea. 483 00:21:37,374 --> 00:21:39,533 - Would you like to be mother, Mrs. Slocombe? 484 00:21:39,533 --> 00:21:40,734 - Well, seeing as I'm not having any 485 00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:43,105 I don't see why I should be lumbered pourin' it out. 486 00:21:44,874 --> 00:21:46,766 - Perhaps you'll do the honors, Captain Peacock. 487 00:21:46,766 --> 00:21:48,571 - Certainly. 488 00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:56,229 This is very hard. 489 00:21:56,229 --> 00:21:59,536 - I'll see if I can find you a softer one, wait a minute. 490 00:22:04,664 --> 00:22:05,744 Those that you haven't squeezed around 491 00:22:05,744 --> 00:22:06,971 he's had his chops around! 492 00:22:08,908 --> 00:22:10,158 It puts me off. 493 00:22:11,172 --> 00:22:12,731 - Aren't you going to have one, Mr. Rumbold? 494 00:22:12,731 --> 00:22:14,640 - No, I don't think I want one, thank you. 495 00:22:16,304 --> 00:22:18,177 - Anyone else for a half 496 00:22:18,177 --> 00:22:19,427 - No thank you. 497 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,848 Hardly used, one careful owner. 498 00:22:26,452 --> 00:22:30,332 - Yes, but I'll have some just the same. 499 00:22:30,332 --> 00:22:32,452 - Oh, that army training certainly came 500 00:22:32,452 --> 00:22:34,257 in useful, Captain Peacock. 501 00:22:34,257 --> 00:22:36,929 - Now, shall we get down to the purpose for which 502 00:22:36,929 --> 00:22:38,363 we are come together? 503 00:22:38,363 --> 00:22:41,072 - I was wondering when we were going to get 'round to that. 504 00:22:41,072 --> 00:22:43,826 I think it would pay us 505 00:22:43,826 --> 00:22:47,826 to examine our whole modus operandi, as it were. 506 00:22:48,831 --> 00:22:50,811 Vis a vis the handling of customers 507 00:22:50,811 --> 00:22:52,726 from the moment they arrive to the moment 508 00:22:52,726 --> 00:22:54,362 when we make the sale. 509 00:22:54,362 --> 00:22:55,803 - Or not. 510 00:22:57,803 --> 00:23:00,527 - I sometimes regard our whole organization 511 00:23:00,527 --> 00:23:02,763 as a ship at sea. 512 00:23:02,763 --> 00:23:06,543 Peacock here is at the helm, keeping his eyes skimmed. 513 00:23:06,543 --> 00:23:08,403 I am in the engine room making sure 514 00:23:08,403 --> 00:23:12,570 we're all going full-steam ahead, and you men are the crew. 515 00:23:19,923 --> 00:23:22,064 - Oh, you're the crew, too. 516 00:23:22,064 --> 00:23:25,127 Now, what happens when the lift doors open 517 00:23:25,127 --> 00:23:26,955 and out steps a customer? 518 00:23:26,955 --> 00:23:27,963 - We all man the lifeboats. 519 00:23:29,415 --> 00:23:30,248 - Lucas. 520 00:23:31,322 --> 00:23:32,643 - Now, I will tell you what happens. 521 00:23:32,643 --> 00:23:35,655 Captain Peacock spots him and steers him 522 00:23:35,655 --> 00:23:36,914 over to the counter. 523 00:23:36,914 --> 00:23:38,835 - Ah, I see, yes I see, sir, yes. 524 00:23:38,835 --> 00:23:40,607 The customer has now become the ship. 525 00:23:40,607 --> 00:23:42,975 And all the counters are docks. 526 00:23:42,975 --> 00:23:45,047 And when he gets to one of our counters 527 00:23:45,047 --> 00:23:46,454 we tie him up with our tape measurer 528 00:23:46,454 --> 00:23:48,751 and hang on to him until he's been unloaded. 529 00:23:50,955 --> 00:23:52,695 - That's not quite what I meant. 530 00:23:54,315 --> 00:23:56,774 - Perhaps if I could put it, not more succinctly, 531 00:23:56,774 --> 00:23:59,055 but in a way that would be more easily grasped 532 00:23:59,055 --> 00:24:03,316 by those unable to understand your simile. 533 00:24:03,316 --> 00:24:05,996 I look upon it as a battle. 534 00:24:05,996 --> 00:24:07,739 The customer is the enemy. 535 00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:10,603 We deploy our forces, lift doors open, 536 00:24:10,603 --> 00:24:12,806 customer steps out, and what happens? 537 00:24:12,806 --> 00:24:14,680 - We open up the machine guns and bang, bang he's dead. 538 00:24:16,291 --> 00:24:19,003 - If we're going on like this, I'm going home. 539 00:24:19,003 --> 00:24:20,446 - Bear with me, bear with me. 540 00:24:20,446 --> 00:24:24,359 Now, I engage the customer in a little verbal skirmish. 541 00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:28,168 He is then outflanked by the ever alert Mr. Grainger. 542 00:24:31,903 --> 00:24:33,056 Humphries. 543 00:24:33,955 --> 00:24:34,951 - Yes, I'm free. 544 00:24:37,111 --> 00:24:38,551 - Thank you. 545 00:24:38,551 --> 00:24:40,799 Now, the trouble appears to be 546 00:24:40,799 --> 00:24:43,679 that some of the customers are getting away. 547 00:24:43,679 --> 00:24:47,096 Now, where is the weak link in the chain? 548 00:24:50,755 --> 00:24:53,307 - I think you may have something there, Captain Peacock. 549 00:24:53,307 --> 00:24:56,515 Perhaps there is a weak link in the chain. 550 00:24:56,515 --> 00:24:59,212 Perhaps we really should examine our 551 00:24:59,212 --> 00:25:02,695 whole customer handling technique from the very beginning. 552 00:25:02,695 --> 00:25:04,483 Now, I will be a customer. 553 00:25:04,483 --> 00:25:06,807 I shall arrive at the lift and I want you all 554 00:25:06,807 --> 00:25:08,623 to take it right through from the moment 555 00:25:08,623 --> 00:25:10,338 when Captain Peacock spots me, 556 00:25:10,338 --> 00:25:12,097 to the moment when we make the sale. 557 00:25:12,097 --> 00:25:13,514 - Good idea, sir. 558 00:25:17,810 --> 00:25:19,359 - Now, I want you all to observe 559 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,474 very carefully what happens. 560 00:25:21,474 --> 00:25:24,354 We may possibly learn something from this, hm? 561 00:25:24,354 --> 00:25:27,027 - Now, deploy yourselves in your usual positions 562 00:25:27,027 --> 00:25:28,630 and keep your eyes open. 563 00:25:28,630 --> 00:25:32,797 As Mr. Rumbold says, we may all learn something from this. 564 00:25:36,894 --> 00:25:39,731 We are ready, Mr. Rumbold. 565 00:25:44,059 --> 00:25:45,420 He's stuck. 566 00:25:47,924 --> 00:25:50,290 Get him out, Mr. Humphries. 567 00:25:50,290 --> 00:25:53,471 - Well, we've certainly learned something, Miss Brahms. 568 00:25:53,471 --> 00:25:55,122 We've learned that Mr. Rumbold doesn't know 569 00:25:55,122 --> 00:25:56,591 how to open the lift. 570 00:26:00,027 --> 00:26:02,966 - I'm sorry, I pushed the floor button 571 00:26:02,966 --> 00:26:06,523 and then the lift moved so I pushed the emergency stop 572 00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:08,924 and then, of course, the doors wouldn't open. 573 00:26:09,803 --> 00:26:11,932 - Oh, there's somebody coming down in the other lift. 574 00:26:11,932 --> 00:26:13,474 - That'll be young Mr. Grace. 575 00:26:15,564 --> 00:26:18,147 - Young Mr. Grace is coming by. 576 00:26:25,044 --> 00:26:27,236 Good evening everybody. 577 00:26:27,236 --> 00:26:30,319 Good evening, Mr. Grace. 578 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,135 - I hear you've been having a sales conference. 579 00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:36,228 - That's right, Mr. Grace. 580 00:26:36,228 --> 00:26:37,772 - And it's been going very well, sir. 581 00:26:37,772 --> 00:26:40,443 - I was a salesman once, you know. 582 00:26:40,443 --> 00:26:43,022 I had a stall in the markets. 583 00:26:43,022 --> 00:26:44,105 We sold fish. 584 00:26:45,511 --> 00:26:46,367 Smelly stuff. 585 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,590 - You were very wise to have a department store 586 00:26:49,590 --> 00:26:51,291 instead, Mr. Grace. 587 00:26:51,291 --> 00:26:53,611 - Been having a good tuck 588 00:26:53,611 --> 00:26:56,764 - Oh yes, thank you, Mr. Grace, it was delicious. 589 00:26:56,764 --> 00:26:59,507 - Good, well, I'm glad we're looking after you. 590 00:26:59,507 --> 00:27:02,362 Well, you've all done very well and it's time 591 00:27:02,362 --> 00:27:03,904 you all went home. 592 00:27:03,904 --> 00:27:05,731 Oh, thank you, Mr. Grace. 593 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:14,158 - You're a cheeky young monkey, aren't you? 594 00:27:14,158 --> 00:27:16,302 - One of our most promising young men, sir. 595 00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:18,007 - Yes, well, sir. 596 00:27:18,007 --> 00:27:19,124 It's a good fit. 597 00:27:19,124 --> 00:27:20,476 Nice material. 598 00:27:20,476 --> 00:27:21,856 - Yeah, it's vicuna, sir. 599 00:27:21,856 --> 00:27:24,714 - Yes, I always wear vicuna. 600 00:27:24,714 --> 00:27:26,297 Well, I'll take it. 601 00:27:27,256 --> 00:27:29,596 Have it put on my account. 602 00:27:29,596 --> 00:27:31,346 A very forceful sale. 603 00:27:32,444 --> 00:27:34,484 - Personally trained by me, sir. 604 00:27:34,484 --> 00:27:36,659 - Yes, we could do with more of that sort. 605 00:27:36,659 --> 00:27:37,597 - Yes indeed, sir. 606 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,008 - Well, don't be late in the morning. 607 00:27:41,008 --> 00:27:43,093 No, Mr. Grace. 608 00:27:43,093 --> 00:27:44,788 - You've all done very well. 609 00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:46,904 Thank you, Mr. Grace. 610 00:27:51,088 --> 00:27:52,648 - He seems in a very good mood. 611 00:27:52,648 --> 00:27:56,204 - Yes, I've seldom seen him in such a good mood. 612 00:27:56,204 --> 00:27:59,514 - That was a very smart bit of selling, Mr. Lucas. 613 00:27:59,514 --> 00:28:02,667 You see, the smile does the trick. 614 00:28:02,667 --> 00:28:05,574 - Oh, it does indeed, Mr. Rumbold, yes. 615 00:28:05,574 --> 00:28:08,085 - You obviously know your stock very well. 616 00:28:08,085 --> 00:28:11,790 Even I was unaware that we had a vicuna coat. 617 00:28:11,790 --> 00:28:12,873 - We haven't. 618 00:28:14,146 --> 00:28:16,858 Mr. Lucas sold Mr. Grace his own coat. 619 00:28:22,866 --> 00:28:26,533 - Mr. Lucas sold Mr. Grace Mr. Lucas's coat? 620 00:28:27,624 --> 00:28:32,033 - No, Mr. Lucas sold Mr. Grace Mr. Grace's coat. 621 00:28:34,537 --> 00:28:35,370 - I see. 622 00:28:36,204 --> 00:28:39,205 Well, I think we've all learned 623 00:28:39,205 --> 00:28:41,372 a great deal this evening. 624 00:28:43,939 --> 00:28:46,704 - Here, do you still fancy The Unsatisfied Virgin? 625 00:28:46,704 --> 00:28:48,041 - Well, I'm game if you're game. 626 00:28:48,041 --> 00:28:50,543 - Oh, all right then, come on. 627 00:28:54,401 --> 00:28:56,529 - I must practice that smile myself. 628 00:29:04,151 --> 00:29:05,713 Ground floor, perfumery, stationery 629 00:29:05,713 --> 00:29:07,769 and leather goods, wigs and haberdashery, 630 00:29:07,769 --> 00:29:10,121 kitchenware and food, going up. 631 00:29:15,177 --> 00:29:18,133 First floor, telephones, gents ready-made suits, 632 00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:22,300 shirts, socks, ties, hats, underwear and shoes, going up. 633 00:29:26,893 --> 00:29:29,560 Second floor, carpets, travel goods and bedding, 634 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,633 material, soft furnishing, restaurant, and teas, 635 00:29:32,633 --> 00:29:33,885 going down. 47213

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