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♪
2
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[laser crackling]
3
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‐ Damn it.
Stupid thing, come on.
4
00:00:11,490 --> 00:00:15,830
‐ Ooh, build that Earth drill, Korvo.
Work those blue arms.
5
00:00:15,820 --> 00:00:17,570
‐ Stop undressing me
with your eyes, Debbie.
6
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I just want to work out here in peace.
7
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I'm not out here
for your sexual titillation.
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00:00:20,830 --> 00:00:23,540
‐ Hey, the replicants missed the bus.
Can you take them to school?
9
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I got stuff to do.
‐ We didn't miss it.
10
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They purposely skipped our house.
‐ I'm sure it was an accident.
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one small tiny sample of her eye.
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‐ Can we please go?
Homeroom is where I decide
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who I'm going to crush on for the day.
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‐ You should be helping me
construct the Earth drill.
15
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‐ I have to take the Pupa to the dog park.
We don't wanna miss the labradoodles.
16
00:00:41,890 --> 00:00:45,260
‐ Oh, oh, is the dog park more important
than mining nickel alloys
17
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so we can repair our spaceship?
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‐ Uh, I don't know, Korvo.
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Can nickel alloy
catch a Frisbee in the air?
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You know, sometimes it feels like
I'm the only Shlorpion
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who wants to escape this garbage planet.
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without a single redeeming value, Terry.
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[screaming]
24
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[alarm blaring]
25
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♪ ominous music playing ♪
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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[yells]
28
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[yells]
29
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[barking]
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‐ Oh, you guys, there was a shooting
at the dog park,
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but you would never know 'cause
these dogs are just so happy, aren't they?
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Yeah, you like those little stumps?
You gonna lick 'em?
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KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
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Until the asteroid hit.
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One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
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and escaped into, uh, the space,
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searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
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We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
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00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,770
That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
40
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I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
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This is‐‐ this is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
42
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[stammers]
This is ridiculous.
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I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.
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And one of these days,
I'm gonna blow it up
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and just be done with the whole
stupid thing, I swear to God.
46
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♪ dramatic music playing ♪
47
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♪
48
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[Pupa coos]
‐ Oh, look at those cute little feet.
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They're really growing in.
Look at 'em go!
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We're gonna go buy lottery tickets,
we're gonna win a million dollars,
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but then, we give it all
as a tip to a waitress
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and totally change her life.
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You go, girlfriend.
Buy yourself a new pair of shoes.
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‐ My plan is to sit in dim light,
spray nutrients on my stumps,
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so‐‐ until they grow out,
and I'll study repair manuals.
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inhabited with sentient life
than you expected,
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but it can still be fun.
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You just got to roll,
roll with the homies.
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I just‐‐ let me grow my feet in peace.
‐ Whatever, Korvo.
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♪
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[grunts]
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‐ Huh.
63
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,960
‐ No, and as
a scientist/bounty hunter,
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I am extremely perceptive.
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[groans]
‐ E. T. sucks.
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00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:18,460
Go back to Uranus.
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‐ We're actually
not even from this quadrant.
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[grunts]
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who are probably
gonna zap us with their ray guns.
70
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,470
‐ Are you filthy fucking aliens
fighting in the hallway?
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00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,190
Principal Cooke's office, now.
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00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:37,520
‐ Who, who is this, uh,
Funbucket character?
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‐ Why do you care?
‐ I was unaware
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of a second
sentient species on this planet.
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‐ Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.
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‐ Hm, I, I like that catchphrase.
[Pupa grunting]
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‐ Oh, yeah, he's got a bunch of 'em.
"Bingo bango"
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is the tip of the iceberg, my friend.
[Korvo laughs]
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‐ Oh, yeah.
One time he fed magic beans
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00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,710
to Mr. Shromer
and it turned him into a bush.
81
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It turned him into a bush!
[Pupa exclaiming]
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‐ Oh, he must have hated that.
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Did he hate it?
‐ Oh, yeah, he was pissed.
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00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:01,970
‐ Wow, Funbucket doesn't follow
any rules, does he?
85
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You know, simple math equations,
or who stole the principal's, uh, new pen.
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‐ This guy is fascinating.
I wish we lived near Funbucket.
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We could hang out and talk shit
about humans all day and night.
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Do science.
You know, Funbucket's kind of a Korvo.
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Don't you think, Terry?
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Bet he hates Earth and their stupid
monthly calendar as much as I do.
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ANNOUNCER [on TV]: Saturday, come on down
to the Gretchen‐Darth Mall
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for the annual mega sale.
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Deals in every store, and a chance to win
one of St. Peter's finger bones!
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With special appearances by Funbucket
and Rungo the Clown.
95
00:04:32,410 --> 00:04:35,490
‐ Oh, Rungo's legit. He has orange hair
and his house is a boot.
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I think he lives in Michigan.
‐ Wait.
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Funbucket is gonna be at our mall?
[Pupa exclaims, grunts]
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We could meet him.
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00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:41,010
‐ Oh, dude,
you could compare notes with him.
100
00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:42,680
He could help us with the mission.
Huh?
101
00:04:42,670 --> 00:04:43,670
You like that M‐word, don't you?
102
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‐ We have to watch
all of these episodes, Terry.
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I need
to learn everything about Funbucket.
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Does he have a penis?
Does he reproduce?
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00:04:48,260 --> 00:04:50,260
‐ I don't‐‐ I don't know, man.
I mean, it hasn't come up.
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00:04:50,270 --> 00:04:52,190
Yeah, I mean, I think
he probably does have a penis.
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It's probably huge.
‐ That's good, that's good, Terry.
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We have to know all this stuff
before we meet him at the mall.
109
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‐ About what?
‐ Someone broke into the computer lab
110
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and reprogrammed the iMacs
with artificial intelligence.
111
00:05:03,780 --> 00:05:06,330
iMAC: I used to be a cop.
My name is Richard Michaels.
112
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,820
‐ This thing's been trying to arrest
everyone that uses it.
113
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Everyone has access to those computers.
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‐ Wha, uh, uh, I've got both of mine.
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00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:22,210
'cause I keep it in a glove.
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‐ From now on, I want nothing
but perfect behavior from you two.
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or any of that Outer Limits bullshit.
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[door closes]
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‐ Oh, you should have their asses
on the street already.
120
00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:42,060
You need to sack up, Cooke.
121
00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:44,570
‐ We'll get them soon enough,
Ms. Frankie.
122
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:49,540
And then you'll see how powerful I am.
123
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‐ Come here.
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[grunting]
125
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‐ I wish they would just treat us
like regular kids.
126
00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:57,630
‐ [scoffs]
Yeah, regular kids with a shrink ray.
127
00:05:57,620 --> 00:06:01,580
‐ I'm gonna kick your ass.
Let me out of here!
128
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:04,640
‐ I cannot believe we are actually
going to meet Funbucket.
129
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,540
[stammers]
Do my robes look okay, Terry?
130
00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:08,760
‐ Oh, man, I'm gonna ask him
if he can breathe underwater.
131
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,100
I‐I‐I bet he can.
Honestly, I just‐‐ maybe I shouldn't.
132
00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:12,520
No, I'm gonna ask him just to make sure.
133
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‐ Terry, I believe he's gonna be overjoyed
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00:06:13,770 --> 00:06:15,650
to learn there are other
non‐humans on this planet.
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00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,300
He will no longer
feel frustrated and alone.
136
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,820
‐ I'm gonna invite him over for Nintendo.
You think he's a Nintendo guy?
137
00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:22,180
Oh, what if he's a Sega man?
‐ Do you think he has a mission, too?
138
00:06:22,190 --> 00:06:23,490
Oh, oh, I bet he does.
139
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,150
Do you think his fur is coarse and hard
or soft and silky?
140
00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:28,160
Hm, odd.
‐ What, what?
141
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:31,280
‐ Funbucket is larger
than he appears on TV.
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00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:34,740
‐ Yeah, he is.
Hold on, is his skin made of cloth?
143
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Ew!
‐ What the fuck is going on?
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00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,700
‐ There's a line.
You need to get back in line, sir‐‐ ah!
145
00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:41,630
‐ It's just some kid.
What did you do with Funbucket?
146
00:06:41,630 --> 00:06:45,430
‐ I demand to see Funbucket.
‐ Funbucket isn't real, you idiots.
147
00:06:47,470 --> 00:06:49,510
‐ It's a kids' show.
‐ A kids' show?
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♪ dramatic music playing ♪
149
00:06:51,590 --> 00:06:53,420
♪
150
00:06:53,430 --> 00:06:54,690
‐ Get out of here, go!
151
00:06:55,350 --> 00:06:57,440
‐ Funbucket isn't real?
152
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:01,100
‐ TV lied to us. It lied.
‐ That's impossible.
153
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,350
All of human history
is recorded on the TV.
154
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,990
I don't even know what's real anymore.
Are submarines real?
155
00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:08,980
Are penguins real?
‐ I don't know, probably not.
156
00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:11,580
Wait, the quantum injector.
‐ Is Friends real?
157
00:07:11,570 --> 00:07:13,070
Is Frasier real?
158
00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:16,150
If Frasier isn't real,
I'm going to kill myself!
159
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,750
How can you even think of work right now?
‐ The quantum injector.
160
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,840
Primarily used for
repairing organic emitters
161
00:07:20,830 --> 00:07:23,950
in the matter transfer array,
but with a few small adjustments‐‐
162
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‐ We can make Funbucket real.
‐ We need Funbucket.
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00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,890
He could help us with the mission, Terry.
He's a man of science.
164
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,630
You saw the lab he had with that child
in the kid's basement.
165
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,680
You saw the shit he was doing
in that one episode.
166
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,980
We need him to be as real as possible.
167
00:07:36,970 --> 00:07:41,890
Every single little tiny smidgen
of adjustments will matter.
168
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:43,980
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
169
00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:45,860
[rumbling, hissing]
170
00:07:45,860 --> 00:07:46,900
[beeps]
171
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‐ Bingo bango, I'm Funbucket.
172
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,660
‐ Funbucket, I'm Korvo
and this is Terry,
173
00:07:51,650 --> 00:07:53,400
and we are your new best friends.
174
00:07:54,530 --> 00:07:56,200
‐ You guys aren't gonna
try to fuck me, are you?
175
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,160
BOTH:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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♪ smooth music playing ♪
177
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,920
♪
178
00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:06,470
‐ Bingo bango!
179
00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:07,870
[screaming]
180
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:09,890
[shutter snaps]
181
00:08:10,470 --> 00:08:11,800
[monstrous roaring]
[all scream]
182
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:12,850
[Pupa giggles]
183
00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:24,320
‐ You are such a shopaholic, Funbucket.
184
00:08:24,310 --> 00:08:26,600
‐ Retail therapy, baby.
185
00:08:26,610 --> 00:08:29,570
‐ Hey, that's not your catchphrase.
Say bingo bango.
186
00:08:33,070 --> 00:08:35,320
‐ Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Check out who's real.
187
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,400
‐ Just let me past, will you?
Stop it.
188
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:46,170
‐ I'm sorry I thought you weren't real.
‐ Yeah, it's... okay.
189
00:08:47,710 --> 00:08:49,800
‐ Ooh, let's go to the makeup counter
at Bloomie's.
190
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,590
We can get you all done up
for the club tonight.
191
00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:54,890
‐ Funbucket, this is not
gonna be a discussion.
192
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,170
We want you to be dolled up
and spruced up
193
00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:59,270
so that the people are like,
oh, damn.
194
00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:01,390
Who are these cool guys
at the club with a Funbucket?
195
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,940
‐ Look, make me big right now.
196
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:07,530
I'm gonna beat you up really bad
but I promise I won't kill you.
197
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,520
‐ Just do the maze.
You're screwing up my metrics.
198
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,310
‐ This is stupid.
Are you sure we aren't gonna
199
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,280
get like, super duper
crazy trouble for this?
200
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,910
‐ Humans test lower species all the time.
[Lidia panting]
201
00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:21,080
‐ And lose this data?
Do you even want to study humans?
202
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,330
‐ No! I want to eat lunch
with friends and see movies with boys.
203
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:25,960
‐ Done!
‐ I forgot to time you.
204
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,510
Do it again.
‐ Man, this is fuckin' stupid.
205
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,960
You used to be so scientific.
Now you're just a jerk.
206
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,710
‐ Continued experimentation could reveal
why everyone is mean to us.
207
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,600
‐ I just want to chill at the mall.
208
00:09:37,590 --> 00:09:38,920
‐ Oh, shit, she's going to tattle.
209
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:44,560
It's Trim City!
210
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,820
TERRY: Ooh, they have
Channing Tatum's vodka.
211
00:09:48,770 --> 00:09:50,640
Oh, dude, dude, dude,
we should take Funbucket
212
00:09:50,650 --> 00:09:52,240
on a road trip and go to New York City
213
00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:54,480
and listen to podcasts
and Gaffigan albums the whole way.
214
00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:55,660
He's America's dad!
215
00:09:55,650 --> 00:09:58,030
‐ Oh, that would be quite
the enjoyable experience.
216
00:09:58,030 --> 00:10:00,940
Perhaps we could all stop at some
fun roadside attractions along the way.
217
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:02,790
‐ Yes!
Hey, Korv.
218
00:10:02,790 --> 00:10:04,420
You think you're starting to
warm up to Earth a little?
219
00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:06,330
‐ I must admit, with Funbucket around,
220
00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:09,080
repairing the ship has lost
a little bit of urgency.
221
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,080
Funbucket, we got your drink.
222
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:17,460
‐ We should circumnavigate the crowd.
223
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:22,850
‐ What up, my dudes?
Hey, I'm Terry, this is Korvo.
224
00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:24,560
We're aliens.
‐ Make room at the table
225
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,190
so we may join you.
‐ You know these dipshits, fam?
226
00:10:27,190 --> 00:10:29,440
‐ No.
‐ Oh, he's just kidding around.
227
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,530
Hey, we got you a drink, Funbucket.
‐ Take a hint, bro.
228
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,310
Funbucket's with us now.
‐ I‐‐ wait, wait, I don't understand.
229
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,240
With? What do you mean?
230
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,410
‐ He means
go fuck yourself, bro.
231
00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:41,030
Okay, he belongs to us.
232
00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:44,450
‐ Uh, I don't belong to anyone.
I'm real.
233
00:10:44,450 --> 00:10:46,490
‐ Oh, but‐but surfing, Thailand.
234
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,790
‐ Travis and Avery are my friends now.
235
00:10:48,790 --> 00:10:51,210
They don't treat me
like some dumb TV sidekick.
236
00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:53,340
‐ Plus, we don't wear stupid wizard robes.
237
00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:54,800
‐ This is ceremonial garb.
238
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,840
‐ That's it.
Get 'em the fuck out of here.
239
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:57,800
[glass shatters]
240
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,760
[laughter]
241
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,010
‐ Later, dickholes.
242
00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:04,020
‐ What the hell, Korvo?
What the hell?
243
00:11:04,010 --> 00:11:05,550
‐ Who the hell were those guys?
‐ Look at me.
244
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,310
I'm gooblering.
I'm making gooblers.
245
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,010
‐ Oh, my God, I haven't goobled
246
00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:12,900
since they made us
shower together at the academy.
247
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:16,030
‐ According to the Urban Dictionary,
we've been "squinched."
248
00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:17,870
It means we've been cut loose.
‐ Oh, man.
249
00:11:17,860 --> 00:11:19,270
Why do I feel like this?
It hurts.
250
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,370
‐ Our bodies are not designed
for this emotional overload.
251
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,320
There is a chance that
we will overheat and die.
252
00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:28,000
I haven't touched a dolphin
or been on The Price Is Right.
253
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,170
I'm supposed to fall in love
on a train in India
254
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:31,740
and maybe the woman's
a little bit older than me.
255
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,220
They're just hanging out.
‐ That can't be right.
256
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:39,290
I mean, we do that, too.
257
00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:42,470
‐ Oh, fuck!
258
00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:46,100
‐ What the hell?
Are you stalking me?
259
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,310
‐ Oh, my God.
Look at what they're wearing.
260
00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:51,060
‐ Oh, shit, they tried
to copy our outfits.
261
00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:52,690
How pathetic is that?
[Avery laughs]
262
00:11:52,690 --> 00:11:55,070
‐ We wear things like this all the time.
‐ Bro, get a clue.
263
00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:58,100
Funbucket's done with you.
‐ Will you stop crying, you babies?
264
00:11:58,110 --> 00:11:59,570
‐ You're a baby, idiot!
265
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,660
‐ Fuck you, Funbucket!
266
00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:04,940
[Lidia grunting]
267
00:12:04,950 --> 00:12:06,870
PUPA: Ooh!
[groaning]
268
00:12:07,290 --> 00:12:09,080
‐ Bad Pupa.
Drop it, drop it.
269
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,380
‐ Seriously, it smells
really bad in there.
270
00:12:11,370 --> 00:12:14,290
I think it ate, like,
an old crabapple or something.
271
00:12:14,290 --> 00:12:17,160
‐ Why can't things just be the way
they used to be?
272
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:20,890
TV was real and Funbucket
liked us and wasn't a dick.
273
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,590
‐ Funbucket was too real.
Funbucket 2 is gonna be better.
274
00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:26,090
‐ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
275
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:29,020
Make him love us, Korvo.
Give him all the bells and whistles.
276
00:12:29,020 --> 00:12:31,020
Make it so he never leaves us.
[beeping, whirring]
277
00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:37,310
‐ Who wants to go camping?!
278
00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:40,310
‐ No, we're going to the club.
‐ Put your sin in me.
279
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,280
[retches]
‐ His catchphrases need work.
280
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,240
‐ They're fine.
281
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,990
‐ Y'all ready for bisque?
Good night, everybody.
282
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:52,040
‐ Ha ha ha, oh, Funbucket 2,
you sure are an amazing dancer.
283
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,290
‐ I've come here to do two things.
284
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:55,960
[grunts]
Oh.
285
00:12:57,290 --> 00:12:58,910
Y'all ready for bisque?
‐ Hello.
286
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,510
Nobody cares about your janky
knock‐off Funbucket.
287
00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:04,430
‐ You are just jealous.
Our revised Funbucket is vastly superior.
288
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,520
What's happening?
Oh, God.
289
00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:14,430
Unseen forces pulling us together.
‐ Whoa, whoa, hey, stop that.
290
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:15,770
Get away from our Funbucket.
291
00:13:15,770 --> 00:13:17,690
‐ The quantum injector. Oh.
‐ Help! Help!
292
00:13:17,690 --> 00:13:21,110
KORVO: Maybe the‐‐ I think their flesh
matrixes are attempting to reconcile.
293
00:13:22,110 --> 00:13:23,620
‐ Y'all ready for bisque?
294
00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:26,080
[roars]
295
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:30,830
‐ No, no, no!
296
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,460
[roars]
297
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,250
‐ Hey, uh, you guys do to‐go cups?
298
00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:48,560
Great, could I get uh, just a couple
to‐go cups for the road? Thanks.
299
00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:51,590
[roars]
300
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,690
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
301
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,890
♪
302
00:13:55,890 --> 00:13:58,020
‐ You don't think people are gonna
get mad at us for this, right?
303
00:13:58,020 --> 00:14:00,480
‐ Terry, relax.
That could be anyone's mutant.
304
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:04,900
‐ Terry!
[groans] Korvo!
305
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,280
‐ We should do something.
306
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,240
‐ Why do you need so many dolls?
‐ Why do you need so many ray guns?
307
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,710
‐ Because we're aliens.
‐ It just seems excessive.
308
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:13,780
‐ Lidia Johnson was last seen Monday.
309
00:14:13,790 --> 00:14:15,670
Her parents are pleading
for any information
310
00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:17,410
that leads to her safe return.
311
00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,420
[chuckles]
Good luck with that.
312
00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:22,220
‐ Lidia, it's Randy.
Stop fucking around and come home.
313
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,540
God damn it, this is hard on me.
I didn't think I'd miss you this much.
314
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:28,810
LIDIA:
Wow, my stepdad actually does care.
315
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,800
‐ Do we get a reward too,
or how does that work?
316
00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:35,510
‐ Dang, girl, you gooblering.
‐ Uh, oh, no.
317
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,560
Yeah, 'cause the police are after us.
318
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,270
‐ Yeah, well, what is it with humans
and their kids?
319
00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:41,440
I thought they liked making them.
‐ What are we gonna do?
320
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,700
‐ This is a classic
"killed a hooker in Vegas" situation.
321
00:14:44,690 --> 00:14:46,770
Stalling is only gonna make it worse.
322
00:14:46,780 --> 00:14:49,660
Let me go and I'll tell them
to put you in a good prison.
323
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,280
‐ We could dissolve her.
‐ I'll get the acid.
324
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,670
‐ This is wrong.
‐ She's right.
325
00:14:55,660 --> 00:14:58,080
You should hit the side like ketchup.
‐ You can't just kill me.
326
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:02,290
‐ Don't worry, we'll plant your pieces
and you'll grow into a beautiful new girl.
327
00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:05,170
‐ It doesn't work like that!
Can you just wipe my brain?
328
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,710
‐ What's a brain?
329
00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:08,790
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
330
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,930
♪
331
00:15:11,930 --> 00:15:15,100
‐ Wait, we can't park here.
There's street cleaning tomorrow.
332
00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:21,480
‐ Have you guys seen the shrink ray?
333
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,570
It's usually in the cupboard
with the ice cream maker we never use.
334
00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:25,900
‐ Hey, I use it to freeze and eat yogurt.
[Korvo scoffs]
335
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:29,530
‐ This is so embarrassing.
‐ Why are you dissecting your classmate?
336
00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:31,660
‐ Despite having been examined
by countless scientists
337
00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:34,160
over hundreds of years,
the human brain is still a mystery.
338
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,040
‐ Plus, she was mean to us at school.
339
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,580
‐ Everyone is mean to them.
I didn't invent it.
340
00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:40,840
‐ School sucks, okay?
We don't like it.
341
00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:42,910
‐ It doesn't matter if you like it.
We're on a mission.
342
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:45,670
When things don't go your way,
you can't just give in to emotion
343
00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:49,340
and do whatever you want
like make a new Funbucket.
344
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,930
‐ What?
‐ Uh, you can't shrink people.
345
00:15:52,930 --> 00:15:55,770
‐ We weren't gonna kill her.
We were just reprogramming her a little.
346
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,050
‐ Are we in trouble?
347
00:15:57,060 --> 00:16:00,310
‐ We will discuss your grounding later.
Sew her up and let her go.
348
00:16:00,310 --> 00:16:05,150
‐ Your grounding is going to be prison
for the rest of your lives.
349
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:08,200
And let me tell you,
being a weird alien in jail
350
00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:10,310
is not going to be pretty.
351
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,660
[groans]
352
00:16:14,660 --> 00:16:17,500
‐ Just keep doing that until she's cool.
‐ Someone's going to prison.
353
00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:18,530
[groans]
354
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,880
Someone's‐‐ I'm a sunflower.
355
00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:23,410
‐ Wow, it really is making her dumber.
356
00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:25,590
I can't believe humans drink this stuff.
357
00:16:25,590 --> 00:16:28,720
‐ This would be going a lot faster
if we had some Mountain Dew.
358
00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:30,790
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
359
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,810
♪
360
00:16:35,510 --> 00:16:38,590
‐ Uh, will you drive straight?
‐ The effort is already being made, Terry.
361
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,530
[tiny horn honks]
362
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,830
[weak growling]
363
00:16:56,820 --> 00:16:59,150
‐ I guess we should, uh,
put it out of its misery.
364
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,040
‐ [groans]
No, I should.
365
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,380
You know, Terry, I've learned
an important lesson today.
366
00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:06,550
You can't project your own wants
and desires on other creatures‐‐
367
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:08,290
Oh, crap, catch it, catch it, catch it.
‐ Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh crap.
368
00:17:09,670 --> 00:17:11,540
KORVO:
This isn't your fault, Combo Funbucket.
369
00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:13,260
We shouldn't have been guided by emotions.
370
00:17:13,550 --> 00:17:16,430
It's gonna be okay.
We're gonna have one last great adventure
371
00:17:16,430 --> 00:17:18,520
before you go live at the mall.
‐ The mall?
372
00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:19,550
What? I thought we were gonna kill him.
373
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:20,890
I thought we were gonna
throw him off the edge.
374
00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:23,520
‐ God damn it, Terry.
See it, the mall?
375
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,770
All the way down there?
376
00:17:24,770 --> 00:17:26,400
This was the most humane way
I could think of
377
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,490
to end our time together, little friend.
[weak screech]
378
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,480
It will all be over in...
379
00:17:30,190 --> 00:17:33,020
between 35 and 58 seconds,
depending on wind.
380
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:36,410
TRAVIS: Stop.
‐ Leave us alone, Travis and Avery.
381
00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:38,040
You've done enough.
‐ Don't kill him.
382
00:17:38,030 --> 00:17:39,780
We love him.
‐ But he's a monster.
383
00:17:39,780 --> 00:17:43,030
‐ Bro, we don't care what he looks like
or if he's violent
384
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,130
or if he's been combined
with another Funbucket
385
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,700
on a molecular level, bro.
386
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:48,630
TRAVIS:
He's still Funbucket.
387
00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:51,510
Just, just do it.
We'll catch you, broheim.
388
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,920
[screeches]
389
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,000
♪ swelling orchestral music plays ♪
390
00:17:55,010 --> 00:17:58,020
♪
391
00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:02,800
‐ Korvo.
[growls] Terry.
392
00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:05,150
‐ Shh, shh, shh.
It's okay, buddy. It's okay.
393
00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:11,280
‐ Do you feel like maybe
we're the bad people in all this?
394
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:13,440
‐ We're aliens.
Our ways are mysterious.
395
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,610
We can't be judged by human standards.
396
00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:18,070
Now let's get out of here before
we get arrested for all this shit.
397
00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:19,690
[explosions]
‐ Is that the children's hospital?
398
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,370
Man, you don't really think of them
blowing up like that.
399
00:18:21,370 --> 00:18:23,620
I mean, what, are they storing
giant tanks of flammable liquid?
400
00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:26,500
In a children's hospital?
No wonder all these kids are getting sick.
401
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,840
‐ By the way, when we get home,
you're throwing out that ice cream maker.
402
00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:30,540
You do not use it for yogurt.
‐ Oh, my God.
403
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:32,660
Have you been sitting on that for an hour?
I do too use it.
404
00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:33,800
‐ That is the opposite of true.
405
00:18:34,630 --> 00:18:36,210
MS. FRANKIE: Hey.
‐ Oh, my God, what?
406
00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:37,890
I told you, I didn't touch the computers.
407
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,590
‐ I'm watching you,
you creepy little fucking aliens.
408
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,390
You think just because
you didn't do anything bad today
409
00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:45,150
you're gonna get away with it?
Oh, you are on fucking blast.
410
00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:47,140
I've got my eyes on you.
411
00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:49,520
‐ We didn't do anything.
Why are you always mad at us? I‐‐
412
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,520
[Lidia vocalizes]
413
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,850
‐ I used to be small,
but now, I am big.
414
00:18:54,860 --> 00:18:56,200
I'm peeing my pants.
415
00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:57,730
‐ [laughs]
So funny.
416
00:18:57,740 --> 00:18:59,950
You're the best, Lidia.
[Lidia laughs]
417
00:18:59,950 --> 00:19:03,580
‐ Every time I think I know the slang
you kids use, you switch it up.
418
00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:05,000
‐ Wow, humans are dumb.
419
00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:06,570
I guess we're never
gonna get busted on anything.
420
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,710
‐ What does that mean?
Busted? Busted on what?
421
00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:09,920
‐ Uh, I‐I mean...
422
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,670
‐ Did you guys shrink this girl down
and then lobotomize her
423
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:13,970
to cover your tracks?
424
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,040
‐ Uh...
‐ [sniffs]
425
00:19:15,050 --> 00:19:18,390
Did you dump Diet Coke
in her exposed brain?
426
00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:21,340
That's horrible.
Something has to be done about you two.
427
00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:23,130
You can't just go about
your regular lives
428
00:19:23,140 --> 00:19:24,640
without some sort of punishment.
429
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,100
Things cannot go on
as if nothing happened.
430
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,470
‐ You know what, Terry? I think
those bros really did love Funbucket
431
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,240
in a much more deeper
and sensual way than we ever could.
432
00:19:34,230 --> 00:19:36,020
‐ You know, we should invite
them over for a game night.
433
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:38,950
‐ Ooh, extra crispy, my favorite.
‐ Wait, KFC?
434
00:19:38,950 --> 00:19:41,870
Are we not in trouble?
‐ We may be trapped on this world
435
00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:45,000
that's on the brink of mass extinction
plagued by a species
436
00:19:44,990 --> 00:19:47,410
that destroys the environment,
but while we're here,
437
00:19:47,410 --> 00:19:51,790
breathing in the disgusting poison air,
at least we have each other.
438
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:54,080
I could not replace you
with a million Funbuckets.
439
00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:56,340
‐ What's a Funbucket?
‐ From now on, we're gonna be best friends
440
00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:58,010
and we can watch
all the Harry Potter movies back to back.
441
00:19:58,010 --> 00:20:00,680
‐ That's not what I meant.
Look, from now on, we focus on the mission
442
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,930
but we also be a family and all that
kind of shit and do that stuff.
443
00:20:03,930 --> 00:20:06,180
‐ And we can wear matching costumes
and compete in fashion shows‐‐
444
00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:08,270
‐ No, no, I'm covering my ears.
‐ Just two friends
holding hands down the street.
445
00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:10,230
Everyone's like, are, are they lovers?
No, we're friends.
446
00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:12,270
‐ What is the mission, anyway?
447
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:14,990
It gets brought up all the time
and Korvo's always pissed,
448
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,890
but nobody's real clear about it.
449
00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:19,820
‐ When the Pupa reaches maturity,
it'll evolve into its true form.
450
00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:22,660
One that'll destroy and rebuild the planet
in the image of the home world
451
00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:25,200
using data stored in its DNA.
That kind of stuff.
452
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,870
‐ Wow, seems like a pretty important job
to put Pupa‐‐
453
00:20:27,870 --> 00:20:29,040
[both groan]
454
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,920
‐ Gross.
‐ That's sick, Pupa.
455
00:20:30,910 --> 00:20:33,040
Don't eat the gooblers.
Bad Pupa.
456
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,660
[crunching]
457
00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:37,130
Wow, I can't believe we didn't
get in trouble today.
458
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:39,640
Korvo was pissed.
‐ We never should have kidnapped a kid.
459
00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:41,340
Honestly, I don't know
what I was thinking.
460
00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:46,390
From now on, we only shrink adults.
No one cares when some jerk goes missing.
461
00:20:46,390 --> 00:20:49,900
‐ Good night, Mr. Janitor.
I made you an outfit out of Kleenex.
462
00:20:49,890 --> 00:20:52,100
If it doesn't fit,
just rip it a little bit.
463
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,570
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
464
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,560
♪
465
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,480
♪
466
00:21:44,150 --> 00:21:45,610
[imitating laser fire]
39144
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