All language subtitles for A.Million.Little.Things.S01E05.en

Previously on
"A Million Little Things"...
I quit my job!

What?
Yeah.

Tom: Hey.
You're Maggie's friend.

I'm Tom.
Gary.

Grape soda.
How vintage.

I thought I'd...drop off
a little care package.

It can't be easy staring down
another round of treatment.

Nope.

Every day, you push away
more and more of Dad.

I want to remember him.

Why -- Why don't you?

I don't know
where we go from here.

I'm still trying to figure out
how we got here.

I could blame it on
you and Delilah,

but the truth is,

we were broken
long before that.

♪ My house in Budapest ♪

♪ My hidden treasure chest ♪
Delilah: Hey, Gina.

So, I got the, uh,
the tile samples,

and I forgot --

what did we say,
your place or mine?

Everything okay, sweetie?

Yeah, Mom. Amazing.

My place it is.

Oh, actually, uh, Rome,

can D and I meet here,

or do you
have to write today?

Oh, no.
You're good.

I got to run
an errand later anyway.
Great.

She's 15.

She'll be out of the house
in three years.

Just stock up on wine.

♪ Oh, for you ♪

Gary: All right, sir,
let me ask you this.

How many people
are actually gonna be with us

on this thing?

Because
between the two of us,

the whole reason
I'm planning this trip

is because
I'm trying to trick her

into sharing
this pretty important secret

she's been keeping from me.

Oh, it's --

You're the guy.

It's -- It's us and you.

Okay, um...

...well, in that case, uh...

Whoa. Whoa.

Here she comes.
We'll see you soon.

Just be cool.

Okay, your Larry Bird Celtics
soap dispenser

is officially
a cry for help.

Please call my office.

I will make you
a referral.

And I'll have you know
that I painted

that soap dispenser
all by myself

when I took Theo
to Paint The Rainbow.

Wow.
Mm-hmm.

It's a masterpiece.

You know
what Theo painted?
Hmm?

An ashtray.

Nobody smokes.

Everybody
washes their hands.

Go home, change,
pack a sweatshirt.

No spoilers.

And I will pick you up
at 11:00,

and we will go
to an undisclosed location

and share a day
that we will cherish

for the rest of our lives.

♪ And, baby, if you hold me,
then all of this will go away ♪

Eddie: All right, buddy.
Here we go.

Let's put it on.

All right.

All right, now, arms up.

Your arms are branches.

Katherine: No, Carter,
I'm e-mailing my redlines now.

Have them inputted
before I get to court...
Oh!

...so I can give them
to the judge.
Yeah!

Theo:

Oh, wow.

This is great.

It's really great.

Eddie: Of course
it only took us,

like, four trips
to Home Depot.

Six.

But it was worth it.

Little man,
you're gonna be spectacular!

It's just a small part.

Small part?

There are no small parts.

Mommy's right.

Ooh,
I have to get to court,

but my whole office knows
that tomorrow morning,

I will be going
to the theatre.

But the show's today.

No, it's the 8th.

You told me
it was the 8th.

It is today.

It was moved because of
the field trip.

I thought they e-mailed
both of us.
No.

Apparently they only e-mail
the primary parent.

You're still coming,
right, Mommy?

Hey,
you know what, bud?

Why don't you

go upstairs and put on
your school clothes?

Theo: Okay.

Damn it.
I'm in court all morning.

Listen.
It's gonna be okay.

I can just film it.

You don't get it.

I know you think
I'm distant.

I am just...
trying to survive.

I didn't get to see
our son awake yesterday.

Well, no, we did FaceTime --

Don't say "FaceTime"!

Don't you dare say
"Face --"

FaceTime was probably
invented by a woman

who also didn't get to raise
the baby she had.

I don't want
to go to court.

I want to watch my son
be a tree.

I was never
a difficult teenager.

I was a delight.

My parents
were the crazy ones.

Oh, my God.

Well, I was the worst.

Did you ever make
your mother cry?

I made my father cry.

I once backed his car
into his other car.

Sophie's never
learning how to drive.

It sounds like
you didn't either.

I just -- I have so much
on my plate right now,

and my plate
just got fuller.

Just breathe.

Everything
is gonna be okay.

You're right.

Ugh.
Who is it?

The principal
at Sophie's school.

Hi, Mr. McIsaac.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah, I-I'll be --
I'll be right there.

Thank you.

What happened?

Sophie
just punched someone.

You sure
you don't want kids?

I'm having a sale.

Ooh,
I need to get down there.

Do you want me
to drive you?

I really don't.

Eddie:
Guys, I messed up.

"Snow White" starts
in under three hours,

and I need to delay it
until Katherine gets there.

Any ideas how?

What do you got?
Throw them at me.

Ooh! Ooh!

You could just
pull the fire alarm.
That's on me.

I should've been
more specific.

No felonies.

Well,
there goes my idea.

I'm afraid to ask.

Oh, you make
a real poison apple.

Okay.

That'll buy a couple hours,
or forever.

Come on, guys.
This is serious.

What is that noise
I'm hearing?

I'm making apple snacks

for Theo's play,

and I got lemon juice
in my fret finger.

Fret finger?

No, that's not a thing.

Okay, guys, not helping.

I need a win here.
Wait, wait.

H-How -- How is this
your fault again?

The whole reason Katherine's
not the primary parent

is 'cause she's had
to work crazy hours

ever since
my band imploded,

and I don't know
if you guys are aware,

but we're not
in a great place right now.

Well, was that
before or after

you slept with other members
of our friend group?

Wow.
Yeah, I know.

But Katherine has done nothing
but support me,

and I want to support her.

And you think getting her
to a second-grade play

is gonna make up for years
of alcoholism and infidelity?

You might want to check
your math on that.

Are you ready to call
your first witness, counselor?

Permission to approach,
Your Honor?

Your Honor, I move to adjourn
until tomorrow morning.

On what grounds,
counselor?

Full disclosure,
Your Honor.

My son is a tree
in the school play,

and the forest takes the stage
at noon.

No small parts.

Exactly.

Your Honor,
you know hard it is

to be a working mother.

Indeed.

In fact, this morning,

my daughter
had a fever of 102.

And yet, here I am.

Shall we call your
first witness, counselor?

And there's a part of me
that feels like

I shouldn't be allowed
to tell them that I need help.

I should be
stronger than that.

'Cause you can't be the reason
you don't make it.

What?

That's how it works,
right?

You can't be
the one in your family

who's tapping out.

It's hard enough.

Between racism, gangs,

police messing with us --

you can't be the reason
you don't make it.

Am I right?

How am I supposed to
drive over here in my Tesla

and tell you
that my life is bad?

You have a right
to feel depressed, Rome.

You have a right to acknowledge
that you're unhappy.

But I can't.
And you have a right

to be happy.

I quit my job
to pursue my dreams.

I thought
I'd feel different.

But I don't.

Is there a history of depression
in your family?

There's a history of
"we don't talk about that"

in my family.

No, my mom's a solid.

My pops
is a real go-getter.

Gets up at 4:30
every morning,

works like
12 hours a day.

He ain't got time
to be sad.

Well, I think you should ask
your parents

and keep talking to me,
if that helps.

In the meantime,

I am gonna start you
on an antidepressant.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, so,
if I agree to do it,

how long
do I have to take the meds?

If they work,
for the rest of your life.

Principal McIsaac:
As you know, at Holy Cross,

we have
a zero-tolerance policy.

But I'm also aware
that your family

has been through a lot.

Thank you for being
so understanding.

It has been a difficult time
for us.

Um, that said, Jon and I
never condoned violence,

and I, for one,
am embarrassed, and...

I'm sure, Sophie,
that you are, too.

If I could,
I'd hit her again.

Sophie,
I don't understand.

Chloe didn't even touch you,
right?

What makes you think
it'd be okay to hit her?

She put Dad
on a prayer list,

said suicide's a sin
and that he's burning in Hell.

I know
that you're upset,

and what Chloe did
was wrong.

Look, I understand
that you're hurting --
Yeah, no.

You don't understand,
and I don't expect you to.

Whole reason
I go to Holy Cross

is 'cause Dad went here.

He took us to church,
he taught us to believe in God,

and now the one person

who understands how I'm feeling
is gone.

I still think
that I understand --

You know, the Bible says

that you're not
supposed to take a life,

but that's exactly
what God did,

so either he doesn't exist
or he's a hypocrite.

Which is it?
You can't believe that.

God, are you kidding me?

You don't believe in
any of this.

You've been to church twice
in your entire life.

Once when you married Dad,

and then
when you buried him.

So, Mr. Andrews,
am I to understand

you were unaware
that Huntington Properties

misrepresented their
second-quarter earnings?

That's correct.

You turned in your work laptop,
exhibit 22.

Mr. Andrews,
did you delete

any files
on the hard drive

before surrendering
your laptop?

Objection.
Speculative.

He'll answer.

It's possible.

So, it's possible

you deleted financial records
of a company

prior to turning in

a subpoenaed piece
of evidence?
Objection.

Your Honor,
can we have the rest of the day

to identify
any deleted files?

Counselor?
I'm good with that.

Court is adjourned
until 10:00 Monday morning.

Well played, counselor.
Enjoy the theatre.

Eddie: Perfect.

Oh, cutest tree in the forest.

And thank you, Eddie,
for parking respectfully

before getting
Theo's costume out.

Unlike Kelly, who thinks

just because she drove
three of the seven dwarves

that she can hold up
the carpool lane

for the better part
of 10 minutes.

Hi, Gail.

Hi. Come on.
Beth.

Beth: Eddie.

Hey, Dad.
Is Mom gonna be here?

You know what, bud?

She's gonna try her best.

"Try" always means "no."

Child: Hey, Theo!

Hey, what's up?

Hey, GPS has me there
in 38 minutes.

Great.

But the play
starts in 20.

I'll stall.

How are you gonna
do that?

No idea.

Maggie: Wow!
Gary: Yep.

I did not think of you
as a hot-air-balloon type.

Well, drink it in.

You know, Gary,
I got to say,

I'm a little surprised.

I'm a little
pleasantly surprised.

Well, there's a lot
you don't know about me, Maggie.

Maybe some things
I don't know about you.

But I did check
this website.

It looks great.

The basket seemed bigger
online.

Ooh!

They're serving
chocolate-covered strawberries

at 3,000 feet.

3,000 feet?

No, that's...got to be a typo,
right?

Gail:
Okay, everybody, freeze.

We are missing
the evil queen's apple.

What?

No red apple?

There's no "Snow White"
without a red apple.

Yeah,
that's what I just said.

I will just
run to the store

and, uh, be back
in like 20 minutes.

Just go to
the teacher's lounge.

There's like 40 in there.

Okay, I got it.

You're a hero.

If you're interested
in continuing that streak,

my wife is just running
a little late from work.

Could you delay the production
20 minutes?

Yeah...

No.

If we delay it,
the kids get hangry.

But, you know,
the only reason

she's running late
in the first place

is because your school

only e-mails
the primary parent.

Well, Mr. Taylor,
in our family,

we're both
the primary parent.

I get it, Eddie,

but a lot of parents here
have jobs to go back to.

I promised Gail
we'd start the show by noon.

Okay, I get it.

I mean,
Gail's a working mother, too.

You know what?

What happened with my wife
makes me realize

it is about time
working mothers

had more of a say
around here.

Am I right, Gail?

Gail: What's that?
I mean,
you're always telling me

that the drop-off line
is inefficient

and doesn't get her
back to work on time.

Oh, yeah.

If we're waiting for one kid
who forgot his backpack,

the whole line
comes to a standstill.

Two lanes --
it just makes sense.

I thought we were talking
about the play.

We're talking
about the play.

We're talking
about pick-up.

We're talking
about drop-offs.

We're talking about
some kid's backpack.
It's everything...

Yes.
...Taylor.

Plus, I know
Beth has a few things

to say about snacks.

Beth:
Yes, I would like --
Gail: Beth, no.

Okay, just 'cause
Lucas can't have sugar

doesn't mean all the kids
have to suffer, okay?

Gail: In the afternoon,
it needs to be safe

for my second-grader
to come in.

Beth: And we need more
after-school activities.

Those fifth graders
start sooner --

Swimming, drama classes.
I-I hear you.

...'cause they're allowed
to walk together.

A lot of things that
need to be done in this school.

And maybe the buses
shouldn't line up in the front.

And honestly,
you don't need --

Renee: Walter, for once,
will you listen to me?

Walter: I will as soon as
you make sense.

Well, you need
to call someone.

Someone costs money.
I'm free.

Well, it won't be free

when you fall off the ladder
and crack your skull open.

I'm not moving
into no facility.

I'm not gonna do it.

Hey, Mom.

Romie.

I didn't know
you was dropping by.

Maybe you can talk some sense
into your father.

I'm not calling
a different man

to fix something
in this man's house.

Okay, Pop, you go ahead.
I got you.

Two things --

how much you pay
for those sneakers?

And get your hands off
my damn ladder.

Yeah.

Delilah:
Sophie, you're suspended.

I get it, Mom.

It's on my permanent record,

and I wrecked my life

because I'm never
getting into Harvard.

No, what I was gonna say
is you're suspended...

I'm suspended.

We're spending the day
together.

What do you want to do?

Gary: Okay.

As we await
our inflatable

and,
from the looks of it,

highly combustible
chariot,

sit back, relax,
and enjoy the fact

that I have brought
the city of Chicago to you.

Maggie: Oh, my God.

You hate deep dish.

Because it's disgusting.

But if that is
the only way

to score points
with Maggie Bloom,

then I will eat this
soggy excuse for pizza.

Note --
mushrooms on your half.

What is happening?

Just when I think
I know you, Gary.

Well, that's what
today is all about.

Getting to know each other.

Yeah, it's funny that
you say that, actually.

Um...

Um...

I actually did want
to tell you something.

You have
my undivided attention.

Um...

Well...

Mm, something's happened,
and --

Is that grape soda?

I love grape soda.

It's delicious.
Please continue.

We've never talked soda.

How did you know?

You know,
it's an easy leap to make.

You drink a lot of wine.

Tom.

You talked to Tom.

I don't know a Tom.

I'm Gary
with the grape soda.

My God.

When he came by
with the care package.

Of course.
Oh, my God.

Okay, fine.

The grape soda
was boring Tom's idea,

but everything else is me.

Okay, this whole day --

Is a lie.

Is this
this day of deception

to try to get me
to open up to you?

I mean, uh...

What else
did he tell you?

I am so sorry.

I'm sorry.
I should've told you.

I should've been
more straightforward.

Okay, I know that.

I blew it. I wanted to.

I just -- I wanted you
to tell me yourself

so that I could tell you
that I am here, okay?

I am here,

and I will do whatever it takes
to get you well,

and we will fight this thing
together.

Oh.
Okay?

Look.

The thing is that he didn't
tell you everything

because he does not know
everything.

What doesn't he know?

I'm done with treatment.

I'm not gonna fight
my cancer.

Mmm! Wow.

So, you're just gonna
let yourself die.

I don't know
if you've heard, Gary,

but we're all gonna die.

The question is,

what are you gonna do
with your life

before that happens?

I, myself,
am going to eat

half of a mushroom
deep-dish pizza

and take a romantic
hot-air-balloon ride.

I encourage you
to join me.

With all due respect,

that's the stupidest thing
that your face has ever said.

Maybe.

But I learned it
from you.

What?

The night we met --
In a remission group.

Mm-hmm, exactly.

I was not
supposed to be there,

but I'm glad I was
because I met you.

Do you know where I was
supposed to go the next day?

Chemo.

My first round...again.

But instead,

after hooking up
with a devilishly handsome guy,

I went with him
to a funeral,

and I met his crazy,
wonderful friends,

who made me realize

that I would rather keep
the life that I have right now

than waste it
fighting for a future

that I probably
won't even get.

It doesn't have to be
that way!
Well, exactly.

You of all people
should know that!

No, I do know that.

That's why
I'm not letting it.

Gary, these last few weeks
have been better

than the whole 28 years
before that.

No way. I don't buy that.
No, you do the chemo, Maggie.

You do the chemo,

and then you get
28 more great years!

You can't guarantee that,
Gary.

You can't.

No one can.

But I can guarantee

the quality of the time
that I have left.

You're a numbers guy.

You know
that I could fight this

and have what the doctors say
is a 30% chance of living,

or I could keep doing

exactly what I'm doing
right now

and have a 100% chance

of loving the time
that I have left.

Wow.

I -- I --

I don't want you
to take this the wrong way,

but I...

really, really wish
you hadn't met me.

Man: Got another one!

Mom, it's back on!

I thought
we were watching a movie.

What -- What are you doing
with Doug?

You still mad at Chloe?

Yeah,
I hate her stupid face.

Thought so.
That's why I brought up Doug.

Let's put the gloves on.

Dad bought all this equipment
and only used it once.

He burned more calories

taking it
out of the packaging.

All right, let's
take it all out on Doug.

Can I call him Chloe?

I don't think we should.

So, when are you
gonna put a baby in
that wife of yours?

You know we ain't doing that.

I just want you to have
what I have.

Dad.

Mm-hmm?

You ever feel, uh...

You ever feel down...

for more than
a couple of days?

Maybe after
your grandma died.

I'm not
talking about that.

Everybody feels sad, son.

Feeling sad
is just a part of life.

Gail: Oh, God.

That was incredible.
Just incredible.

I got so emotional.

Oh, my God. I missed it.

You didn't miss it.

You didn't miss it.

It starts in two minutes.

What?
Yeah.

Beth and, uh, Gail
started this whole thing

with Mr. Taylor.
Oh.

Your husband,
can I just tell you,

he spoke up
for working moms,

and for the first time,

we're getting some results
around here.

Yeah, I, uh, may have incited
a 20-minute debate

about carpool lanes.

For me?

Uh, excuse me, guys?

Uh, there's a problem
with Theo.

Theo: Jenna says
I have a stupid part

because I'm just a tree,

and no one will even notice
if I'm up there or not.

That is not true.

She should know, Dad.
She's Snow White.

You don't get it.

When you were in your band,
you were the lead.

Well,
I know how you feel.

You know what's funny?

Sometimes in the family,
I feel like that.

You do?

Sometimes.

It's 'cause you and Dad
do such a great job

of being the leads,

but sometimes
'cause of work and stuff,

I feel like just another tree
in the forest.

You know what, buddy?

Snow White can't get lost
in the forest...

...without the forest.

You know, sometimes
it's easy for us trees

to forget how important
we really are.

But it's nice
to be reminded.

Isn't it?

What's he doing?

He wants you
to put his costume on him.

Oh!

Ready?
Yeah.

Oh, my goodness.

Mwah!

Oh, for God's sake.

Where are we going now?

We are gonna
play basketball.

Yeah, you want to live
in the moment?

Play some basketball
in the moment.

The game is to 21.

Winner takes all.

If I beat you,

you're gonna fight cancer
with me by your side,

and you're gonna win
just like you won last time.

Unfortunately, right now,
you're gonna lose.

Deal.

But if I win,

I am not
getting any treatment,

and you can't so much
as mention it ever again

to me or anyone.

Game on.

Gary: Come on.
I'm waiting.

Show me what you got.
I'm right here.

Let's see. Huh?

What are you waiting for?

You want to retire
this jersey, Deep Dish?

You're gonna
have to get by me.

I will get by you

and your wannabe
James Harden beard!

Oh, no!

Why would I go and do that?

Not again!

The beard must be...

too tight.

6-1?

6...1?

1, yeah.

You're gonna be spending
your golden years in Boca.

Also, I think
we can probably ix-nay

the full-court element.
Yeah. Yeah.

What? Are you tired?

What?
You tired?

No, I just don't want
to be here all day, you know?

Oh, okay.

Ohh! Wow!

Sophie:

Nice.
You feel better?

No.

Okay.

Plan "B" --
let's eat our feelings.

Yeah!

Yeah.

Sophie: Okay.

I'm not gonna lie.

I'm just --

I'm a little bit worried

about your ankles.

Oh, come on.

Great.

15 for me.
6 for you.

We are going to chemo.

We're going to chemo.

What else you got?

Huh, Hammer pants?

Please, Hammer.

Don't hurt 'em.
They're just --

Maggie: You want to talk
about pants?

You just got pantsed.

Okay.

So, you've got one move.

That's gonna work
one time.

Well, they did call me
"Magic Mags."

Everybody thinks they're Magic
in grade school.

Oh, no, this is college.

Brown University,
Division I.

Hold up.
Division I? No.

You're 5-foot...child.

Yes, I am,

and that's what every
college recruiter used to say.

And then I would...

do this.

That's bush league.

You can't feel good
about that.

It was all right.
Two can play at that game.

Bye, Dad.

Walter:
Thanks for the help, son.
Yes, sir.

I love you, Mom.

Bye, baby.

Bye.

Listen.

I heard you talking
to your father.

Don't let him fool you.

He's had his share
of dark days.

Believe me.

You've got
to take care of yourself.

Not just for you,
but for Regina, too.

Watch your ankles.

Oh, no! 20-19.

I guess
I'm keeping my eyebrows.

Maggie: Oh, my gosh.

You are living to be 100.

You're gonna be cruising
the applesauce aisle

in a velour track suit
made for a baby.

Next point wins.

Next point wins.

Uh-oh.

Picked up your dribble.

You'll never make this shot,
Deep Dish.

Haha!

I win!

I win!

It's not fair.
You hustled me.

You know you did.

Cancer's not fair.

Okay.

Nice game.

Well played, Ms. Bloom.

Have it your way.

All right,
we've done chicken wings,

nachos,
movie-theater candy.

What's next?

How about
you take me to school

so I can throw up
on Chloe?

You know,
Chloe doesn't know where Dad is.

I don't know
where Dad is.

I wish he was here

because I think he'd have
all the answers for us.

And I don't know
if there's a Heaven or a Hell,

but if there is,

I would love to believe
that he's in Heaven

'cause I just refuse to believe
that he's in Hell.

I just have
all these questions

and hardly enough answers.

You're 15.

You're not supposed
to have these questions yet.

I'm 43.

I'm still trying
to figure it all out.

Really?

Yes.

It's like that song goes,
remember?

"Someday you'll find it."

"Rainbow Connection."

Your dad sang that to you
right through my belly.

Yeah, I came out thinking

my dad
was Kermit the Frog.

Maybe Kermit's trying
to tell us something.

Hmm?

Someday we'll find it.

Maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow,

but I'm gonna be
right here with you

until you find all the answers
you're looking for.

Thanks, Mom.

And when you find them,
share them with me.

And from now on,
only hit Doug.

Deal.

And you're going
to Harvard

and I'm coming with you.

Oh.
Kidding.

Okay.

Hey, buddy.
Brush your teeth!

Then you get 15 minutes
of screen time.

All right,
I'm gonna smell your breath.

I'm not.

Man,
he was so great today.

I can't stop thinking
about, uh,

the curtain call.

He started bowing
and he never stopped.

I wanted to yell
"Timber!"

On the plus side,

his costume was all padding,
so he was fine.

Thanks for today.

I wanted you to see your son
be a tree.

I can't be with you
anymore.

We worked well together
today,

and it reminded me
of what we don't have.

This isn't us.

Maybe it can be.

We were great today.

Yeah, but instead of
making me happy,

it made me angry
about everything.

I don't think
I can get past it,

and I don't think
I should have to.

I don't know
if I believe in us anymore.

I spent so much time
trying to figure out

why you've done
the things you've done,

and I realized
what I need to figure out

is why don't I feel like
I deserve more.

So, tomorrow night,

you want to go check out
that new taco place

in Coolidge Corner?

You're asking me
if I want to eat tacos?

Of course
I want to eat tacos.

Okay, well, I finish with
my last patient at 6:00, so...

6:01 it is.

Okay.

♪ Take me down a road ♪

♪ I believe in ♪

♪ Lost the way ♪

I can't --
I can't do this.

I ca--
I can't watch you die.

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

Okay.

Please, please.

Please don't ask me to.

Please ask me to stay.

Look, I'm --
Look, I'm right --

I'm right here,

and we'll fight this
together.

And we will beat this...
together.

That's not the deal.

♪ No reflection ♪

♪ Take me to a place ♪

Wait, don't do it.

Don't go.
Don't. Don't. Don't.

♪ I believe in ♪
Don't get out of the car.

Don't. Don't. I --

♪ Lost my way ♪
Don't get
out of the car.

♪ Lost all reason ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Give me something ♪

Thank you
for a great day.

♪ Give me something ♪

Bye, Gary.

♪ Give me something ♪

♪ To hold on to ♪

♪ I've got nothing ♪

♪ Since I lost you ♪

Eddie:
You guys have been saying
for months now

that Katherine and I
should split.

You finally
got what you wanted.

Gary: Come on, Ed,
that's not what we wanted.

What we wanted was
for you to be happy.

Yeah.

And you weren't.
Remember?

I don't know
what I'm gonna do.

Okay.

My couch is your couch.

As long as you need it.

Rome:

Thanks, roomie.

Maggie's gonna love that.
Oh, yeah.

Who doesn't love dating
an adult man

with a roommate?

Yeah, my life isn't going

exactly the way I want it to
right now.

Announcer:
Get an icing call.

When we come back...
Then we're gonna
get along great.

...2:12 left in the second.

Commercial break.

Bathroom break!

Gary: I'm --
I called it!

This is exactly why --
I called it!

This is why
you're getting the couch, Ed.

I'll go to the master.

Stay out of
Regina's cosmetics,

and for the last time,

cocoa butter
is not a food.

Uh, Rome?

No, no, no, no.

Gary:
Okay, okay. Relax.

This is just a box.

No!
It doesn't mean
that she's --

Don't even say the word.

Well, that's not how
you get someone pregnant.

You should know that.

Guys, let's look at the stick.
Where is the stick?

There it is.
Eddie: Oof.

How are you so nonchalantly

touching the part of the stick
Regina urinated on?

Come on.

Why would sh--
Why would she do that?

Well, don't smell it.

How does a man

who's had as much
promiscuous sex as you

not know
how a pregnancy test works?

Congratulations, Papa.

Dude. Dude.

q
I just quit my job.

I -- Oh, man.

Gina and I said no kids.

I just quit my job.

I just quit it.

Listen to me.

My life sucks.

I'm gonna be sleeping
on Gary's couch.

I don't even get
the guest room.

What is this speech?
Okay.

Even though everything
is so bad for me right now,

I wouldn't change a thing

because if I did anything
differently,

I wouldn't have Theo.

And he is the greatest thing
I've done ever,

and this baby might be

the best thing
you've ever done.

Come on, man.

The best thing
I've ever done

is wash my hands.

♪ Why are there so many ♪

♪ Songs about rainbows? ♪

♪ And what's on
the other side? ♪

♪ The other side? ♪

♪ Rainbows are visions ♪

♪ But only illusions ♪

♪ And rainbows
have nothing to hide ♪

Sophie:
♪ So we've been told ♪

♪ And some choose
to believe it ♪

♪ But I know they're wrong ♪

♪ Wait and see ♪

♪ Someday we'll find it ♪

♪ The rainbow connection ♪

♪ The lovers ♪
Hey, Theo.

♪ The dreamers and me ♪
Katherine:
So, Mom and Dad

have something
to talk to you about.

♪ Who said that every wish ♪

♪ Would be heard
and answered ♪

♪ When wished on
the morning star? ♪

♪ Somebody thought of that ♪

There you go.

♪ And someone believed it ♪
Can we FaceTime later,
Dad?

♪ Look what it's done ♪
Of course we can, pal.

♪ So far ♪

♪ What's so amazing ♪

♪ That keeps us stargazing? ♪

♪ What, so we think
we might see ♪

♪ Someday we'll find it ♪

♪ The rainbow connection ♪

♪ The lovers, the dreamers,
and me ♪

♪ La, da-da, dee,
da-da-dee ♪

I know
we've had our history,

but when things get tough,

you're the friend
that's always there.

Take care of him.

I will.

♪ Have you been fast asleep ♪

♪ And have you heard voices? ♪

♪ I've heard them
calling my name ♪

♪ Is this the sweet sound ♪

♪ That calls
the young sailors? ♪
We might be out of
mint chip.

Mmm!

♪ The voice might be one
and the same ♪

♪ I've heard it
too many times ♪

♪ To ignore it ♪
I know that
you're pregnant.

♪ It's something ♪

♪ That I'm supposed to be ♪
I saw the stick.

It wasn't mine.

Oh.

Oh!

Oh, okay.

Okay.
Mm-hmm.

Whose was it, then?

It's Delilah's.

Sophie:
♪ Someday we'll find it ♪

♪ The rainbow connection ♪

♪ The lovers, the dreamers,
and me ♪

Mm.