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1
00:00:02,253 --> 00:00:04,713
- [children cheering]
- [laughs]
2
00:00:04,714 --> 00:00:07,174
The smiles never get old.
3
00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:10,761
When I started Villigans,
we were just a humble theme restaurant,
4
00:00:10,762 --> 00:00:14,347
but with hard work, dedication
and a little bit of magic,
5
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:19,186
we turned that theme restaurant
into a theme restaurant with a gift shop.
6
00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:25,859
A gift shop that I grew into the largest
online retail business in the world.
7
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,695
Providing our customers
with anything they need,
8
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,823
shipped to them
anywhere, anytime.
9
00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:36,286
And now with Villigans Air,
the sky truly is the limit,
10
00:00:36,287 --> 00:00:39,998
because at Villigans,
we don't call it work,
11
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:42,209
we call it fun.
12
00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:46,506
[laughing]
13
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,257
Hey, pay attention, pals.
14
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:53,929
As I was saying, Glider is
supes fragile right now,
15
00:00:53,930 --> 00:00:56,431
so when she comes down here,
let's not do anything
16
00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:59,142
- that might hurt her,
or upset her. - [Queen of Fables] No problem.
17
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:02,646
- [Dubelz] I'll try.
- [Bane] I am sure she is not that bad.
18
00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:04,773
- [Noonan] Ah! Kill it!
- [Dubelz] Il Diavolo!
19
00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:08,276
- [Noonan cocks the rifle]
The Babadook! - Hey, babe, you look like, uh-
20
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,820
Someone who's
been up all night,
21
00:01:09,821 --> 00:01:12,864
with no luck trying to find
her newly not-dead mom?
22
00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:15,826
Ooh, did you get those bags under
your eyes from Kohl's or TJ Maxx?
23
00:01:15,827 --> 00:01:17,869
- [Bane] Whoa!
- [Queen of Fables] You got her!
24
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:22,791
You all can suck my butt
and put it in a butt container.
25
00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:24,793
[chokes and spits]
26
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:29,214
- Oh, God, am I tired.
- Babe, it's only been a day, we'll find your mom eventually.
27
00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:33,343
Not knowing where she is
feels almost worse than knowing she was dead.
28
00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:37,013
Um, hello!
I am also suffering.
29
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,182
Yesterday I met my true love.
30
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:41,977
And now no one
can give me her locale!
31
00:01:41,978 --> 00:01:46,148
How I long to finally
consummate our love.
32
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:50,610
- Our bodies moist and writhing
in sync- - [glass breaking] Delivery!
33
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,946
Oh, hell, yeah!
My new weapons.
34
00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:55,323
Now that I'm gonna be meeting
my future mother in law,
35
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,492
I need to take my powers
to the next level.
36
00:01:57,493 --> 00:02:00,120
- So, level one?
- Villigans?
37
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:03,331
You're buying weapons from
a company that tried to kill and bankrupt you?
38
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,710
Well, sure,
but free one-hour delivery.
39
00:02:06,711 --> 00:02:09,171
Damn it! The instructions
are written in Wingdings.
40
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:11,465
You get what
you pay for, right, Joe?
41
00:02:11,466 --> 00:02:15,177
- [phone buzzing]
- [clears throat] Go for Bane.
42
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:18,346
Yes. R-R-R-Rebecca Chen? Yes.
43
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:21,851
Uh, sh-sh-she's where?
I-I-I understand.
44
00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:27,523
[screams] No!
45
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:33,153
- Um, wrong number.
- Bane, you clearly found out where my mother is
46
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:36,031
and if you don't tell me,
I am going to take your mask
47
00:02:36,032 --> 00:02:40,035
- and hook it up
to Sixpack's asshole! - I'll try anything twice.
48
00:02:40,036 --> 00:02:44,539
I cannot reveal
Becca's true location, for it is hell on earth.
49
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:48,126
Where a sliver of hope
leads to the greatest despair-
50
00:02:48,127 --> 00:02:53,424
- She's in The Pit?
- Damn it, Bane! You and your loose lips!
51
00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:57,719
[singer] ♪ Hell yeah! ♪
52
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,347
How did my mother end up
in The Pit? Huh?
53
00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:01,765
The League of Shadows runs it.
54
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:04,309
So do they have
something on her? Answer me!
55
00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,561
I swear I do not
know the pecifics.
56
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:10,273
You can tell me now or in The Pit.
Because that is where we are going.
57
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:12,526
[Bane groans and retches] No!
58
00:03:12,527 --> 00:03:16,238
I cannot go back
to the disgust I was raised in.
59
00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:21,076
Plus, I told myself I'd lose
20 pounds and get my neck done
60
00:03:21,077 --> 00:03:23,870
before seeing
any of those assholes again.
61
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,247
Wow. Okay.
62
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,666
So you're gonna let
Kite Man, me,
63
00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:30,043
- and the rest
of our friends go- - [Sixpack] Pass.
64
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:32,212
- [Malice] Never. Never, ever.
- [Noonan] Um, no, no.
65
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:34,589
You're gonna let
Kite Man and me go alone?
66
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:37,008
- Yeah,
w-w-what the H, Bane? - I will say,
67
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,761
if your mom is in a notorious
prison run by assassins,
68
00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:44,141
you two might wanna wait for,
like a parole hearing or a presidential pardon-
69
00:03:44,142 --> 00:03:48,729
F. that! You know, I'll follow
my babe into the most horrifying of places.
70
00:03:48,730 --> 00:03:50,856
We got dinner
at Hardee's last week!
71
00:03:50,857 --> 00:03:53,734
Plus, now I have my
bomb dot com weapons,
72
00:03:53,735 --> 00:03:57,404
- like my Kite-a-Rang!
- [clinks and thuds]
73
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,114
Still working out the kinks.
74
00:03:59,115 --> 00:04:01,116
- Fine. We don't need you.
- [whispers] We really need him.
75
00:04:01,117 --> 00:04:04,370
Because nothing
is gonna stop me from having my mom back.
76
00:04:05,449 --> 00:04:09,416
Bud, I don't wanna go
into The Pit either.
77
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:12,669
The travel alone
is gonna be hell on my intermittent fasting.
78
00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,129
But you know why I'm doing it?
79
00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:15,964
Because my true love
is gonna be down there.
80
00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:18,717
Do you know anybody
who can relate to that, pal?
81
00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:21,636
You are using my heart
to manipulate me.
82
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:24,514
I'm just saying, big guy,
double dates.
83
00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:27,267
Me and Glider, you and Becca,
84
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:29,478
wine country, Catskills.
85
00:04:29,479 --> 00:04:31,688
A winter cabin in the Poconos?
86
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,857
My wool sweater
is itching already.
87
00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:37,694
- So what do you say?
- [groans] Mm. Okay!
88
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:41,156
But there is only one airline
that flies direct.
89
00:04:41,157 --> 00:04:43,325
[dinging]
90
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:46,745
[pilot] Uh, folks, from the flight
deck, welcome aboard Villigans Air
91
00:04:46,746 --> 00:04:49,331
with direct service
to an undisclosed location
92
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:52,417
in the ancient part
of the world, known as The Pit,
93
00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:54,669
and then continuing on to Cabo.
94
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:57,672
Hey, are you sure your brother
didn't want to come with us?
95
00:04:57,673 --> 00:05:01,885
Oh, he can't. He's on a no-fly
list because of January 6th.
96
00:05:01,886 --> 00:05:03,011
- Oh.
- Yep.
97
00:05:03,012 --> 00:05:06,640
January 6th 2014,
he punched a TSA agent
98
00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:10,352
- at a college football game.
- Oh, that tracks. You know what, babe?
99
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:14,815
I never thought our first trip as a couple
would be to break your mom out of prison.
100
00:05:14,816 --> 00:05:18,568
I know. But when has anything
we've ever done been what we thought it would be?
101
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:22,989
- Oh, yeah.
- Hey, when you meet my mom, can you say "Heck, yeah?"
102
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:26,118
You know, sometimes people
get religious in prison, so maybe no swears.
103
00:05:26,119 --> 00:05:27,994
You ducking got it, babe.
104
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:32,207
[Bane groaning]
You are in my seat.
105
00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:34,334
Well, yes, sir, I am. But I was
just hoping we could switch,
106
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:37,629
so I could sit next to my wife
as we're on our honeymoon.
107
00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:39,423
Absolutely not!
108
00:05:39,424 --> 00:05:42,884
I have paid extra
for my aisle seat, and your lack of foresight
109
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:45,512
does not constitute
my emergency.
110
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:47,597
Sir, there's an open seat
right here.
111
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:50,183
[Bane] But that lady
has her shoes off!
112
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:54,105
When did the sky become
such a field of lawlessness?
113
00:05:58,109 --> 00:06:01,027
You're closing the bar?
Ooh! Are we gonna have a party?
114
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:04,781
Ooh. Are you gonna bring
some of your freaky ass immortal friends over?
115
00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:07,909
I would never, ever bring
any of my friends here.
116
00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:09,119
I'm going out.
117
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,787
My boyfriend is only
in town for one night.
118
00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:12,831
[Noonan] Since when
you got a boyfriend?
119
00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:16,835
Well, we're on-again-off-again,
but right now, we're very on.
120
00:06:16,836 --> 00:06:19,046
What would a Malice boyfriend
even be like?
121
00:06:19,047 --> 00:06:22,841
Dead parents
and a BMI under 19. You're dating a bad boy.
122
00:06:22,842 --> 00:06:24,718
My boyfriend's name is Jeremy.
123
00:06:24,719 --> 00:06:27,763
He's so bad that he died,
went to hell and the staff sent him back,
124
00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:30,932
because he was
too evil, even for them. Yummy.
125
00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:33,935
- Damn, I'm getting all riled up.
- Too bad you'll never meet him.
126
00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:37,189
He'd never set foot
in a place like this. Ugh.
127
00:06:37,190 --> 00:06:40,776
[Mother Box] Message from
Devil Dick, comma Raya.
128
00:06:40,777 --> 00:06:42,944
- Hey, it's your lover!
- [all groaning]
129
00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:47,157
Heads up! I'm dropping by
completely unannounced. Be there in five.
130
00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:50,243
Shit. Shit! He must be tracking
me using Find That Mother Box.
131
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,953
I don't work here.
I don't work here. Okay?
132
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:54,331
When he arrives,
Mariah Carey rules apply.
133
00:06:54,332 --> 00:06:57,793
No eye contact,
and I don't know any of you!
134
00:06:57,794 --> 00:07:01,254
- Hello.
- That's your evil boyfriend?
135
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:04,299
No, that's not him.
My boyfriend can read.
136
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:06,134
The sign says we're closed.
137
00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:09,304
Oh, sorry, young lady,
no one is ever closed...
138
00:07:09,305 --> 00:07:12,474
When you're the Gotham City
Health Inspector!
139
00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:15,977
[laughs,
chokes and coughs]
140
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:18,855
My apologies. I had a hard
candy stuck in my throat.
141
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,816
No one told us
you were showing up today.
142
00:07:20,817 --> 00:07:25,612
That's 'cause health inspectors
are like 13-year-old boys home alone.
143
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,864
They could come at any time.
144
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:31,243
[laughs]
Oh, I gotta use that one.
145
00:07:31,244 --> 00:07:33,912
Oh, Christ, just take
what's in the cash register.
146
00:07:33,913 --> 00:07:37,165
Oh, no. I'm sorry there, hoss.
147
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:39,710
I'm the one health inspector
who can't be bought.
148
00:07:39,711 --> 00:07:41,754
All right! Let's get to it.
149
00:07:43,214 --> 00:07:44,716
Not now, Chessure.
150
00:07:44,717 --> 00:07:47,175
I just have
so many questions for her.
151
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:49,428
Like what kind
of pizza is your favorite?
152
00:07:49,429 --> 00:07:52,347
Which Michael Myers would you
rather bang, the comedian or the serial killer?
153
00:07:52,348 --> 00:07:55,183
Why the hell didn't you try
to find me all these years? [chuckles nervously]
154
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:58,353
Maybe go with the pizza one
and then see how it plays out.
155
00:07:58,354 --> 00:08:01,314
You are the only daughter
I have and I'm so happy
156
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:04,526
- we're taking this trip
together, right, Tabitha? - Aw.
157
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:09,698
- You will listen to me
when I'm talking, Tabitha! - [yelps] I hate you!
158
00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:11,575
- Aw!
- [boy] Stranger Danger!
159
00:08:11,576 --> 00:08:13,076
[Bane] Whose child is this?
160
00:08:13,077 --> 00:08:16,496
He was trying to drink
the water in the potty.
161
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:19,624
- Oh, no, Bane!
- Sir, unhand that child immediately
162
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,418
or you will be
kicked off this plane.
163
00:08:21,419 --> 00:08:24,171
Ma'am, our friend meant no harm.
He's just a little stress-
164
00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:26,173
- [air splitting]
- [flight attendant screams]
165
00:08:26,174 --> 00:08:28,133
- [glass shatters]
- [passengers scream]
166
00:08:28,134 --> 00:08:30,510
- [passenger] Not again.
- Holy shit. It actually worked.
167
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:34,431
Okay. All three of you
need to get the fuck off this plane. Now!
168
00:08:34,432 --> 00:08:36,975
Oh, really? [chuckles]
What are you gonna do?
169
00:08:36,976 --> 00:08:40,395
Open the door
and kick us out mid-flight?
170
00:08:40,396 --> 00:08:43,690
- [Bane screaming]
- On the plus side, we're pretty much there.
171
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:45,233
Oh, thanks a lot, Bane!
172
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,278
I am not the one who blew
the window out of the plane.
173
00:08:48,279 --> 00:08:51,865
I just went into the bathroom
and grabbed a feral child,
174
00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:54,701
who was drinking
non-potable water.
175
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:58,081
Not potable!
176
00:09:04,921 --> 00:09:07,839
Okay, decaying limbs,
rotting corpse head,
177
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,425
trying to pass off
Diet Pepsi as Diet Coke-
178
00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:12,260
Can we hurry this up?
179
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,679
- There's my favorite pussy.
- [Malice and Chessure] Yay!
180
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,765
Oh, and Chessure's here to.
181
00:09:16,766 --> 00:09:19,768
- [squeals] Jeremy!
- Here you go, my darling.
182
00:09:19,769 --> 00:09:23,522
Some dumb lady
was selling these on the ground by the highway.
183
00:09:23,523 --> 00:09:25,857
Now, why is a smokin' hot,
filthy rich New God slumming it
184
00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,818
in a tenement house like this?
185
00:09:27,819 --> 00:09:30,278
Um, well, surprise!
186
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:34,825
I rented out this disgusting
bar and hired actors to play poor people.
187
00:09:34,826 --> 00:09:36,701
Jesus fucking Christ.
188
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:38,495
Oh! You mean like role-play?
189
00:09:38,496 --> 00:09:41,623
You saucy minx,
you put this together for me?
190
00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:43,125
I sure did! [giggling]
191
00:09:43,126 --> 00:09:45,460
Oh, I'm so turned on right now.
192
00:09:45,461 --> 00:09:48,463
Rub my balls and tell me
how Brexit actually helps minorities.
193
00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:51,133
Hey, Malice, we need
more ice in the urinals.
194
00:09:51,134 --> 00:09:54,136
- It helps Joe focus his stream.
- Right away, sir!
195
00:09:54,137 --> 00:09:56,972
See, that's my character.
A server in this shit hole.
196
00:09:56,973 --> 00:10:01,643
Oh, this is fun. Okay, okay.
Okay. My character again is the health inspector,
197
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,603
and I'm about to shut
this place down.
198
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,355
[Noonan gasps]
199
00:10:05,356 --> 00:10:08,817
Why did you do that?
He was like... he was a great actor!
200
00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:10,819
Hmm. I can taste the fear.
201
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:12,738
It's almost like
it's carbonated.
202
00:10:12,739 --> 00:10:15,532
Server, grab me the hottest
seltzer you've got so I can stiff you.
203
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:17,659
- [Malice grunts]
- Because tipping promotes laziness.
204
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:21,079
Damn, I never thought
I'd meet a person that's too evil, even for me.
205
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,874
- [health inspector] Hello!
- Oh, shit!
206
00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:26,877
Don't look so surprised.
I'm a city worker in Gotham.
207
00:10:26,878 --> 00:10:28,837
You think nobody's
tried to kill me before?
208
00:10:28,838 --> 00:10:32,924
So you're immortal,
and you decided to be a health inspector?
209
00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:35,510
Of course!
It's a government job!
210
00:10:35,511 --> 00:10:37,179
You have those for life.
211
00:10:37,180 --> 00:10:40,348
It's a great pension, too.
Not that I'll ever see it.
212
00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:42,143
Now, where were we?
213
00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:52,360
[Bane] I will now show you
how to descend
214
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:55,489
into the bowels
of my childhood home.
215
00:10:55,490 --> 00:11:00,410
[Bane grunts and groans]
216
00:11:00,411 --> 00:11:06,083
Now follow those maneuvers
exactly or you shell perish!
217
00:11:06,084 --> 00:11:07,709
You ready
to take the leap, babe?
218
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,378
I'm standing up here an orphan.
219
00:11:09,379 --> 00:11:11,630
But down there,
I'm gonna be a, uh...
220
00:11:11,631 --> 00:11:14,383
- What's the opposite
of an orphan? - I don't know.
221
00:11:14,384 --> 00:11:16,259
Let's go find out.
222
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:19,763
[Bane] Be careful of the...
Watch out for the...
223
00:11:19,764 --> 00:11:21,516
You must make sure to...
224
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:26,728
Or I guess
I'll just go fuck myself.
225
00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:29,564
This place is exactly
how I remembered.
226
00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:32,067
The unforgiving stone wall.
227
00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:34,736
The smell of trepidation.
228
00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:38,408
A giant flat-screen TV!
Wait. What?
229
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,410
Hello Villigans Family.
230
00:11:41,411 --> 00:11:44,162
It's your Work Mom,
Helen Villigan.
231
00:11:44,163 --> 00:11:46,706
Sweet shit!
Villigans owns The Pit?
232
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,834
Wow, they really have
their mitts in everything.
233
00:11:48,835 --> 00:11:51,586
I'm just here to remind you
to keep up the good fun
234
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:54,965
because here at Villigans,
we don't call it work.
235
00:11:54,966 --> 00:11:57,801
We call it fun! [laughs]
236
00:11:57,802 --> 00:12:02,013
Trogg, Zombie, and Bird!
My old crew.
237
00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:05,600
You're still smearing feces
on the walls just to feel something?
238
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,853
Do you know my mom?
Her name is Rebecca Chen.
239
00:12:07,854 --> 00:12:09,521
She looks like me,
but older, I think.
240
00:12:09,522 --> 00:12:11,606
I don't know because she never
bothered to reach out to me
241
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:14,443
- even though I saved her life-
- [Bane] What the fuck?
242
00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:17,279
[workers groan]
243
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:22,033
It kind of puts a damper
on that one-hour free shipping dealio.
244
00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:23,910
- [Baby Doll] Great work, ma'am!
- [Helen] Miss.
245
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,037
Miss, wright. Great work, Miss.
246
00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:28,498
The new
distribution center is aces.
247
00:12:28,499 --> 00:12:31,084
There's no cheaper labor
than free, right?
248
00:12:31,085 --> 00:12:34,129
Am I right? [cackles]
249
00:12:34,130 --> 00:12:36,548
- Shut up!
- Copy that, ma'am. Miss.
250
00:12:36,549 --> 00:12:39,301
It's fine for now,
but once I secure the device,
251
00:12:39,302 --> 00:12:41,887
this will all be irrelevant.
252
00:12:41,888 --> 00:12:43,513
[alert beeping]
253
00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:46,975
Oh, looks like
we have a little situation.
254
00:12:46,976 --> 00:12:51,605
Look at what you have done
to my brethren, you succubus of capitalism!
255
00:12:51,606 --> 00:12:56,485
[Bane grunts and yells]
256
00:12:56,486 --> 00:12:59,488
Now, Bane, you're going
to have to pay for that.
257
00:12:59,489 --> 00:13:02,407
Shall I use the card
ending in 2147?
258
00:13:02,408 --> 00:13:06,328
Holy shit!
That is my debit card.
259
00:13:06,329 --> 00:13:08,872
If these are actors, how
are they coming back to life?
260
00:13:08,873 --> 00:13:10,665
Even Bruce Forsyth
isn't that good.
261
00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:13,335
Um, well, surprise!
262
00:13:13,336 --> 00:13:15,337
The actors are actually robots,
263
00:13:15,338 --> 00:13:18,215
so you can really
get your Westworld on.
264
00:13:18,216 --> 00:13:19,800
You went to
all that expense and effort
265
00:13:19,801 --> 00:13:21,760
to create this robot-laden
dive bar for my enjoyment?
266
00:13:21,761 --> 00:13:23,845
The only thing hotter
than that is me right now.
267
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,889
Hey! Hey!
That was my drink!
268
00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:27,516
- [Jeremy grunts]
- [man groans]
269
00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:29,184
- [winces]
- [grunts]
270
00:13:29,185 --> 00:13:30,394
Ugh.
271
00:13:30,395 --> 00:13:33,314
- Ah! You tiki-torch-
- wielding motherfucker!
272
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:39,486
[sobbing]
273
00:13:39,487 --> 00:13:40,946
My baby brother!
274
00:13:40,947 --> 00:13:43,532
Ugh. Why is this
not turning me on?
275
00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:47,244
- No, you don't need-
- No shirt, no shoes, no pulse.
276
00:13:47,245 --> 00:13:50,372
Hey, trust me. This is a game
you don't wanna play.
277
00:13:50,373 --> 00:13:51,790
What are you gonna do, old man?
278
00:13:51,791 --> 00:13:53,625
I'm gonna kill you
with this finger.
279
00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:55,377
Oh, I'd like to see that.
280
00:13:55,378 --> 00:13:57,130
[gunshot]
281
00:13:59,215 --> 00:14:01,883
Oh, right. The "hell
won't take him" thing.
282
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:03,677
Whoa! Not bad.
283
00:14:03,678 --> 00:14:05,554
Listen, if you're ever
looking for a steady job,
284
00:14:05,555 --> 00:14:07,139
you might consider
the Health Department.
285
00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:08,598
Now, where were we?
286
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:11,893
Oh, yes, the end
of your pathetic life.
287
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:14,855
- Stop! He'll die!
- Oh, I know how it works, kitten.
288
00:14:14,856 --> 00:14:18,275
You murder the robots for sport
and sexual gratification.
289
00:14:18,276 --> 00:14:21,445
They're not robots.
I lied. Okay? This is all real!
290
00:14:21,446 --> 00:14:25,199
[chuckling] Are you mad? Next thing
you'll tell me is you really work here.
291
00:14:27,577 --> 00:14:31,413
Helen Villigan,
you're the new head of the League of Shadows?
292
00:14:31,414 --> 00:14:33,498
No, pumpkin.
I bought this place from them.
293
00:14:33,499 --> 00:14:36,168
I needed a large warehouse
and cheap labor.
294
00:14:36,169 --> 00:14:38,587
And what's better than
a pit full of criminals?
295
00:14:38,588 --> 00:14:40,422
Impossible!
296
00:14:40,423 --> 00:14:42,966
The League of Shadows
is a sacred order with an ancient code.
297
00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:46,803
- So was their
accounting system. Zing! - [both laugh]
298
00:14:46,804 --> 00:14:50,348
- Sick burn, ma'am. I mean Miss.
- That will be all, Baby Doll.
299
00:14:50,349 --> 00:14:54,061
- We're here for one reason-
- [Helen and Golden Glider] to rescue your mother.
300
00:14:54,062 --> 00:14:57,147
- How do you know that?
- I know everything about everyone.
301
00:14:57,148 --> 00:15:00,942
You see, Villigans isn't
a chain restaurant/ global eCommerce/
302
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:04,613
privatized prison system,
we're really a data business.
303
00:15:04,614 --> 00:15:07,115
- Oh, come on, pick a lane!
- Smart to diversify.
304
00:15:07,116 --> 00:15:11,953
Well, we are in the murder-you-
if-you-don't-give-me-my-mother business.
305
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,955
Ooh! You mean this woman?
306
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:17,417
What do you want now?
Leave me alone! [moans and thuds]
307
00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:20,587
- [Golden Glider gasps] Mom!
- [Bane] Becca!
308
00:15:20,588 --> 00:15:22,839
[Golden Glider screams,
groans]
309
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,300
Babe!
310
00:15:25,802 --> 00:15:27,135
You did this to her.
311
00:15:27,136 --> 00:15:29,262
No, no,
she came with the place.
312
00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:31,056
I don't care why
any of these folks are here,
313
00:15:31,057 --> 00:15:33,934
but if they weren't monsters,
they wouldn't be in The Pit.
314
00:15:33,935 --> 00:15:39,689
- [Helen cackles]
- Oh, no, Chuck, Bane, take cover!
315
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:43,860
Aah! You're going to regret
this, Helen.
316
00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:47,364
Oh, sweetie, powers
don't work down here.
317
00:15:47,365 --> 00:15:50,951
Well, what about gadgets?
Kite belt!
318
00:15:50,952 --> 00:15:52,577
[Golden Glider gasps]
319
00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:56,123
[Kite Man] Oh! Whoa! Uh oh.
Ooh! I think I hit that bat.
320
00:15:56,124 --> 00:15:58,250
Emergency security
protocol engaged.
321
00:15:58,251 --> 00:16:00,711
[Golden Glider] Chuck! [gasps]
What did you do?
322
00:16:00,712 --> 00:16:05,174
[workers chanting]
We don't call it work. We call it fun.
323
00:16:06,968 --> 00:16:08,510
[all grunting]
324
00:16:08,511 --> 00:16:10,679
[Bane] Oh, look at these wimps!
325
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,181
They are so weak,
you cannot just kill one.
326
00:16:13,182 --> 00:16:15,142
It's like evil
Lay's potato chips.
327
00:16:15,143 --> 00:16:16,601
You know what
someone needs to invent?
328
00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:18,562
A thing that takes
all the little broken chips
329
00:16:18,563 --> 00:16:21,314
and reforms them
into a new chip. Ow!
330
00:16:21,315 --> 00:16:24,401
Holy shit, you really
are my best friend!
331
00:16:24,402 --> 00:16:27,028
I've been
saying that for years!
332
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:31,158
[grunting]
333
00:16:31,159 --> 00:16:33,410
[groaning] Uh, babe,
a little help?
334
00:16:33,411 --> 00:16:36,163
She's right there.
She's so close!
335
00:16:36,164 --> 00:16:39,876
- [Bane] My love, I am coming!
- Nice.
336
00:16:41,836 --> 00:16:44,296
[Bane yelps]
337
00:16:44,297 --> 00:16:48,216
- [Bane groans]
- [electricity crackles]
338
00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:51,595
Oh, it's okay.
I got you, Mom. I got you!
339
00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:54,222
Now let's get
the fudge out of here.
340
00:16:54,223 --> 00:16:55,724
I know your mom's unconscious,
341
00:16:55,725 --> 00:16:57,559
but I'm still keeping
the swears to a minimum
342
00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,188
- because I love
the sugar out of you. - [grunts]
343
00:17:03,691 --> 00:17:06,401
[Bane] Trogg! That is
a really nice rock,
344
00:17:06,402 --> 00:17:09,197
- but I don't know
how we'll get it ho- oh! - [all scream]
345
00:17:11,074 --> 00:17:12,908
[grunting]
346
00:17:12,909 --> 00:17:16,078
Ah! Whoa! [groans]
347
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:18,080
Oh. No!
348
00:17:18,081 --> 00:17:20,749
No, no, no, no!
This is not how it ends.
349
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:24,252
We are not going to die here
after getting so close!
350
00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,088
Bane, please help us!
351
00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:27,589
But they are my friends!
352
00:17:27,590 --> 00:17:31,927
Uh, I think your friends
are long gone, Bane.
353
00:17:31,928 --> 00:17:35,723
[Bane yelling]
354
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:38,476
Fly free, little birdy!
355
00:17:40,812 --> 00:17:44,899
Hey, Zombie, this will
hurt me more than it hurts you.
356
00:17:45,691 --> 00:17:48,110
Probably.
357
00:17:48,111 --> 00:17:50,696
Now it is you
who got his neck done!
358
00:17:51,948 --> 00:17:54,742
[Bane groans]
359
00:17:57,370 --> 00:17:59,600
- [Golden Glider gasps]
- [Kite Man grunts]
360
00:18:01,082 --> 00:18:06,295
[Bane] Arrows, blade,
uh, darts, fire, blade? Blade!
361
00:18:06,796 --> 00:18:08,631
[all yelp]
362
00:18:10,216 --> 00:18:11,717
It is hard to even imagine
363
00:18:11,718 --> 00:18:14,594
this is the same place
I learned to walk.
364
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:17,472
- Over a dying man's scrotum.
- What are you-
365
00:18:17,473 --> 00:18:19,391
[Bane] Scoreboard!
366
00:18:19,392 --> 00:18:22,811
- [Kite Man grunts] Thanks!
- [Bane grunts]
367
00:18:22,812 --> 00:18:24,604
[Jeremy] I should have
known you had a job.
368
00:18:24,605 --> 00:18:26,356
You were looking
a little working class,
369
00:18:26,357 --> 00:18:28,108
and by that I mean chubby.
370
00:18:28,109 --> 00:18:31,903
So you only liked me
'cause I was independently wealthy?
371
00:18:31,904 --> 00:18:34,489
I'm so glad you understand.
372
00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:36,491
I'll never forget the time
we promised a hot meal
373
00:18:36,492 --> 00:18:39,244
to two homeless people if they fought,
and then we just killed them anyway.
374
00:18:39,245 --> 00:18:41,580
[chuckles] Oh, good times.
375
00:18:41,581 --> 00:18:44,207
What is this
feeling I'm feeling?
376
00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:45,542
I think it's called a feeling.
377
00:18:45,543 --> 00:18:47,961
Ugh, I can't believe
I let this happen.
378
00:18:47,962 --> 00:18:50,047
Look, you got dickmatized
by a piece of shit.
379
00:18:50,048 --> 00:18:52,340
Been there.
I used to date Rumpelstiltskin.
380
00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:56,094
You know, I've been around a long time
and been on the wrong side of many wars
381
00:18:56,095 --> 00:19:00,849
so believe me when I say
that guy, you dodged a bullet.
382
00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:02,517
- So you're not cross with me?
- Nope.
383
00:19:02,518 --> 00:19:03,935
[Dubelz] I am furious.
384
00:19:03,936 --> 00:19:07,272
You're the reason
my baby brother's dead.
385
00:19:07,273 --> 00:19:08,774
My bro.
386
00:19:08,775 --> 00:19:12,569
Look at how
he massacred my bro! [sobbing]
387
00:19:12,570 --> 00:19:14,196
Again, I know you've got
a lot on your plate,
388
00:19:14,197 --> 00:19:16,656
but um, you know
what I'm gonna say.
389
00:19:16,657 --> 00:19:19,367
I have no boyfriend.
I have no money.
390
00:19:19,368 --> 00:19:21,536
I've been waxing
my own eyebrows.
391
00:19:21,537 --> 00:19:23,330
This is all I have left.
392
00:19:23,331 --> 00:19:26,708
I won't let you
shut this place down!
393
00:19:26,709 --> 00:19:28,585
[Golden Glider] Oh!
Thank you, Bane!
394
00:19:28,586 --> 00:19:31,171
I am so sorry
I ever doubted you.
395
00:19:31,172 --> 00:19:32,881
You doubted me?
396
00:19:32,882 --> 00:19:35,342
- Oh, yeah. Big time.
- Uh... Okay.
397
00:19:35,343 --> 00:19:41,056
Well, now we just have to cover thousands
of miles of ruthless, unforgiving terrain.
398
00:19:41,057 --> 00:19:42,391
- What?
- Thousands of miles?
399
00:19:42,392 --> 00:19:44,059
Well, what else
are we going to do?
400
00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:47,396
We are banned from the only
airline who flies here.
401
00:19:47,397 --> 00:19:49,481
Through no fault of my own,
by the way.
402
00:19:49,482 --> 00:19:51,650
Damn it. I was really hoping
I'd be more helpful.
403
00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:53,945
Stupid, useless,
winding weapons!
404
00:19:55,363 --> 00:19:57,948
[all screaming]
405
00:19:57,949 --> 00:20:00,117
You did it, babe!
406
00:20:00,118 --> 00:20:01,910
Oh, I love you so much,
407
00:20:01,911 --> 00:20:04,579
I could eat your face
with a spoon right now.
408
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:08,750
Hell, yeah. I... think?
409
00:20:08,751 --> 00:20:11,420
Are we finally on?
Jesus Christ, Baby Doll.
410
00:20:11,421 --> 00:20:15,257
- You cannot smoke in here.
- [Baby Doll] Oh, sorry, ma'am.
411
00:20:15,258 --> 00:20:17,050
Okay, we're back.
412
00:20:17,051 --> 00:20:19,845
Oh, they're gone.
Well, no matter.
413
00:20:19,846 --> 00:20:23,599
They've given
me quite the idea.
414
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:36,153
Congratulations, young lady.
I'm giving you a "D."
415
00:20:36,154 --> 00:20:37,446
Minus.
416
00:20:37,447 --> 00:20:40,574
Ladies and gentlemen,
we got her.
417
00:20:40,575 --> 00:20:42,242
Hey, you found your mom. Cool.
418
00:20:42,243 --> 00:20:44,369
Well, nothing interesting
happened while you were gone.
419
00:20:44,370 --> 00:20:45,620
- So-
- I have a dick now.
420
00:20:45,621 --> 00:20:47,414
That's me
and my dead brother's dick.
421
00:20:47,415 --> 00:20:49,166
- You're just a squatter!
- Squatter?
422
00:20:49,167 --> 00:20:50,667
- [both yell]
- [Sixpack retches]
423
00:20:50,668 --> 00:20:53,253
Yep. Just how we left it.
424
00:20:53,254 --> 00:20:55,338
Ah, let's get Mom upstairs.
425
00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:57,592
She's obviously very tired.
426
00:21:06,476 --> 00:21:08,268
[phone buzzing]
427
00:21:08,269 --> 00:21:09,770
Go for Bane.
428
00:21:09,771 --> 00:21:13,690
Oh, Carol from Villigans Air
customer service.
429
00:21:13,691 --> 00:21:17,027
You are about
to meet your reckoning!
430
00:21:17,028 --> 00:21:19,946
- Now we should get some sleep.
- You know, I think I'm gonna stay out here
431
00:21:19,947 --> 00:21:21,990
- in case she wakes up.
- 10-4 babe.
432
00:21:21,991 --> 00:21:25,744
Babe, thanks for making
our first trip together so great.
433
00:21:25,745 --> 00:21:27,789
Mmm. Aw.
434
00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:35,504
[Baby Doll] I'm not
out of order, you're out of order, mister!
435
00:21:35,505 --> 00:21:38,423
- [Judge] Baby, my chambers.
- Sustained!
436
00:21:38,424 --> 00:21:41,301
[announcer] Love that Baby
will be back after this message from Pitigans.
437
00:21:41,302 --> 00:21:44,262
Uh, no,
not the gas again.
438
00:21:44,263 --> 00:21:46,306
- Mommy?
- You stay away.
439
00:21:46,307 --> 00:21:48,725
- You're safe!
- Get away from me!
440
00:21:48,726 --> 00:21:51,728
Mommy! It's me. Your daughter.
441
00:21:51,729 --> 00:21:55,982
Lisa! Oh, I never thought
I'd see you again.
442
00:21:55,983 --> 00:21:58,151
[sniffles] Here I am.
443
00:21:58,152 --> 00:22:02,824
Here we are,
back in each other's lives for good this time.
444
00:22:05,076 --> 00:22:06,452
[whispers] Fuck.
445
00:22:06,502 --> 00:22:11,052
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