Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,846
Previously on Call Me Fitz.
2
00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:21,760
We've finally
come together to
3
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,762
give this
baby a home.
4
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:26,374
And exploit his
ass to sell cars.
5
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:27,853
[giggles]
6
00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:30,900
Told you this family friendly
crap was an ass move.
7
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,423
If the mom's won't
come to Fitzy,
8
00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:34,991
Fitzy will come
to the moms.
9
00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:37,080
Richard Fitzpatrick,
President and CEO of
10
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,821
Fitzpatrick Motors.
11
00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:39,952
Where the fuck
are all the cars?
12
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:41,041
They were reposed.
13
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,433
I leae you alone for
3 fucking hours
14
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:44,435
and you get us repoed
by a loan shark?
15
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,093
Fuck.
16
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:51,921
You want to make money to
get your dealership back?
17
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,792
Here's how it's
going to roll.
18
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:55,098
Stogies?
19
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,274
Gummy Worms?
20
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:58,101
Bleach?!
21
00:00:58,101 --> 00:00:59,668
A brothel scam.
22
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,934
Who want's
some old spice?
23
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,196
Just get us another
round of mommy juice
24
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:09,069
would you sweetheart?
25
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,942
On your marks,
get set, go!
26
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:16,511
We raked in
almost seven large.
27
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,295
Should be enough to
get our fleet back.
28
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,776
Which I tucked away
in a place so shitty,
29
00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:23,692
no man dare
ever look.
30
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,172
Fuck.
31
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:28,392
Someone stole the
fucking baby.
32
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,833
I've lost a ton of
shit in my day:
33
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:40,926
deals, women, weeks,
elections, erections,
34
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:44,887
bodies, my train of thought...
35
00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:47,629
What was I talking about?
36
00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:48,804
Richard!
37
00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:49,544
There you are.
38
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:50,849
Stuff it,
panty liner.
39
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,460
I lost something,
I can't concentrate
40
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,505
when you're
whining.
41
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:58,640
Losing is for losers.
42
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,032
Half the crap
that goes missing,
43
00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:02,818
you never needed
in the first place.
44
00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:04,124
Right.
45
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,168
Trousers are not
the only thing
46
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,604
you forgot, Mister.
47
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:10,913
Just get my pants,
dick magnet.
48
00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:14,917
Just remember that everything
lost can be replaced.
49
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,659
If you can just remember what
the fuck it was...
50
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:18,921
Hey, Richard.
51
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:19,922
How about we play a
game of hotter colder
52
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,053
to figure out
the thing that
53
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,098
you forgot?
54
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:22,707
I forgot to punch
you in the throat?
55
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:23,230
Cold.
56
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,274
Very cold.
57
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:32,369
Your son!
58
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:37,809
You lost your
baby son!
59
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:41,509
Oh, yeah.
60
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,553
That.
61
00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:44,816
[♪ ♪]
62
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:54,913
♪ Without you
I'd find my smile ♪
63
00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:59,918
♪ Without you,
I'd'a won by a mile ♪
64
00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:06,142
♪ Without you
Oh life would be so grand ♪
65
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:10,929
♪ Without you
I'm half a man ♪
66
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:14,759
♪ With out you
67
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:22,419
♪ Without youuu
68
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,900
♪ Without you.
69
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:28,817
A human being, Larry.
70
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,079
Who the fuck
loses that?
71
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,776
I don't know that
I did, Richard.
72
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:33,865
Of course
you did.
73
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:34,866
I am
so sorry.
74
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:36,564
That innocent
bundle of potential.
75
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,696
Why, Larry,
you monster.
76
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:39,654
Will you focus,
you retarded
77
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:40,611
stripper pole.
78
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:41,699
You're right.
79
00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:42,613
You're right,
let's breathe and
80
00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:43,832
focus on the
good here.
81
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:44,833
You, you have a
rosy shade of
82
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,400
"fatherly" glow
in your cheeks.
83
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,836
Don't gay
this up.
84
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:48,793
This is about
one thing -
85
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,926
Saving your
perfect baby boy.
86
00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:52,319
Fucking whoever
is messing with us.
87
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:53,929
What's with all the
goddamned racket?
88
00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:55,583
Your mother's sleeping
off a quart.
89
00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:56,758
Numbnuts lost
my kid.
90
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,107
Jesus.
91
00:03:58,107 --> 00:04:00,327
A fucking human
being, Larry?
92
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,676
OK, listen up.
93
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:02,807
Typical.
94
00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:04,026
Family meeting and
no one tells me.
95
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,070
This is my house too,
you know?
96
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:05,941
Shut the hole
where the
97
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,203
retard noises
come from.
98
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:09,553
You are rubber
and I am glue.
99
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:10,250
Hey!
100
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:10,946
Something,
something,
101
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,034
fuck off, Dick.
102
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:13,078
Will you focus
the fuck on what
103
00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:14,036
I'm saying.
104
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,820
Our future is
at stake here.
105
00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:18,214
The key to the fucking
Fitzpatrick legacy.
106
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:20,042
You're right, sir,
and by golly we will
107
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:23,741
get our rightful heir
and son of a Fitz back!
108
00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,875
I'm talking about
the dealership.
109
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,311
I don't care
about the kid.
110
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,705
We lost Meghan for
two weeks once.
111
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:32,359
Oh Daddy,
you'll never lose me.
112
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:33,229
See?
113
00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,448
Kids are like
the herp.
114
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,188
They always
come back.
115
00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:37,799
Now, gimme the
dough from the
116
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:38,930
brothel scam.
117
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,410
I'll take care of
our debt and get
118
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:41,716
the dealership back.
119
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:42,978
We'll worry about
the kid later.
120
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:43,935
Yeah, and do
not fear!
121
00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:45,546
Josh said he
stashed the money
122
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,112
in a safe place.
123
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,594
[in unison]
Fuck!!
124
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:52,944
Josh!
125
00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:01,257
Where are you,
Fitzpatrick?
126
00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:06,871
Aha!
127
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:15,750
You stashed the loot
up the kid's ass?
128
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,708
Gross, no.
129
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:20,407
I put it
in his diaper.
130
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,408
It's perfect, right?
131
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:22,365
Who's that little
guy gonna tell?
132
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:23,888
You lost the baby
and the money?
133
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,847
I am ssss,
so sorry.
134
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:28,980
How are we gonna pay
the loan back now,
135
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:29,807
dick-clot?
136
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:31,156
Wait!
137
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,680
Dirty diapers!
138
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,770
Yes!
139
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,511
Oh, oh God!
140
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,034
Oh no!
141
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:44,126
[groans]
142
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,259
Yeah, I changed
the kid's diaper
143
00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:50,393
late last night before
I stashed the cash.
144
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,134
And you didn't think
to mention that?
145
00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:53,265
[laughs]
146
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:54,136
Pack your shit and
hit the bricks.
147
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,050
Wha- What did I do?!
148
00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,486
Useless Fuck!
149
00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,097
Jimmy and his
guys are animals.
150
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:00,185
If we don't come
up with that cash,
151
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,404
we not going
to make it
152
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,405
to cocktail hour.
153
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,015
Don't get your
panties in a knot.
154
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:04,973
I'll take
care of this.
155
00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:06,496
Just like I
always do.
156
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:07,758
Don't worry, sir.
157
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,281
We'll find that poor,
defenseless Fitzlet.
158
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:12,241
Or that child's
name isn't...
159
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:14,765
We should really
think of a name
160
00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:16,245
for that child.
161
00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:21,772
Hey, fellas.
162
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:22,773
The ah,
dishes are done.
163
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:23,861
Hey!
164
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:24,775
You do not speak
unless you are
165
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:25,602
spoken to...
166
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:26,298
whatever your
name is.
167
00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:27,561
Bruce.
168
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:28,866
I keep telling
you, mate.
169
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:30,041
What is he saying?
170
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:30,912
I don't understand,
what he's saying?
171
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:31,739
It is as if
he has marbles
172
00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:32,957
in his mouth.
173
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:38,441
Now cousin,
as your elder -
174
00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:40,051
Ah, but I am
your elder now.
175
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:40,878
That is nonsense.
176
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:41,923
Much-sense.
177
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:44,708
Consult our
falsified passports.
178
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:45,753
Fine.
179
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:53,369
Our passports.
180
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:54,588
They're gone.
181
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:56,981
Somebody has stolen
our stolen identities!
182
00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:58,766
Bruce the Dishwasher.
183
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:00,158
Oh. Because something
goes missing it must
184
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,726
be our illegal
alien laborer?
185
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:05,076
Verrry
interesting.
186
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:07,644
Oh, can I help
you fellow
187
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,864
North American
citizen?
188
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,256
We need to
help each other.
189
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,823
What do you mean, broseph?
190
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,303
You know.
191
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,478
And you know
what I know.
192
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:16,827
And I know that.
193
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:17,872
Cousin.
194
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,833
The sickly,
bleached guinea pig
195
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,487
is a prosecutor
of the law.
196
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:25,706
Play along.
197
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,102
We will scratch your
back as much as
198
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,277
you would like.
199
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,192
A vigorous
back scratching.
200
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:38,240
We're both after
the same thing.
201
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,589
The illegal alien?
202
00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:43,724
Exactly.
203
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,813
If you see him or
anyone like him -
204
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:47,858
or anyone named
Fitzpatrick -
205
00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,599
then you telecommunicate
with me.
206
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,122
I'll do the same.
207
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:55,910
Here's my
numeric sequence.
208
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:59,130
It's been a pleasure, gentlemen.
209
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,699
At last,
a white devil
210
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,614
that talks sense.
211
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:26,941
[♪ ♪]
212
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,072
Devon.
213
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:29,160
Ali.
214
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,248
It's Fitz.
215
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:31,511
Look, I'm just uh,
checking in.
216
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:35,732
About - uh - you know -
parenting stuff.
217
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,255
Look call me.
218
00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:38,300
Now.
219
00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:40,694
Where the
hell is she?
220
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:44,654
Really Larry,
a lost baby poster!
221
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:46,090
What the hell
are you thinking?
222
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:48,310
Uh, about finding
the lost baby?
223
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:50,573
Competition finds out
you lost the kid,
224
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:52,575
our family angle
is in the shitter;
225
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:53,707
and Devon - I'll
never hear the end of it
226
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:54,925
from that broad.
227
00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,797
Yeah, she might be
upset that we misplaced
228
00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:57,711
her child.
229
00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,016
That she abandoned.
230
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,235
Who'd want to
take a kid?
231
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:02,585
Well, most kidnappings
are perpetrated by
232
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:04,282
someone known
to the victim.
233
00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:05,849
Be it wives, ex-wives,
jealous lovers ...
234
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:07,634
He's three
months old.
235
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,331
Well, we know that your
family doesn't want him.
236
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:11,115
And the only other
place you take him
237
00:09:11,115 --> 00:09:12,377
is to that bar.
238
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:13,509
Hawking the baby on
the black market was
239
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:14,597
the Ruptals' idea.
240
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:15,816
Fuck, Larry.
241
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:19,036
It's those carpet
bombing mother-fucks.
242
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:20,603
You're welcome.
243
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:23,258
[vacuum]
244
00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,744
Why is everything
so clean?
245
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:33,703
Since when do we
have a vacuum?
246
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:42,059
Where the fuck is
my yogilates mat?
247
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:42,843
[gasp]
248
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,975
What. The.
249
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,020
Da-dee!!
250
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:48,675
What is it now?
251
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:49,806
You know how long
it takes me to
252
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:50,894
squeeze out a
piss these days?
253
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,069
There was a
vacuum there.
254
00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:53,505
And now
there's not.
255
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:56,770
And look,
someone cleaned.
256
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,865
Fuck. It's the gay mob
all over again.
257
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,867
The mob does
floors?
258
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:07,868
It's a warning
From Jimmy and
259
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:08,999
his goons.
260
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,218
If they don't get
that scratch,
261
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,873
it's gonna be a
fight to remember.
262
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,744
Just like the
good old days.
263
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:15,615
Wait, what?
264
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:16,398
They were in
the house?
265
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:17,791
Goons?
266
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,357
They might
hurt me.
267
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,881
They might
even rape me!
268
00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:24,667
They don't hire
blind goons, moron.
269
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:27,844
Ok, so what's
the plan.
270
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:28,976
Am I playing
respectful cop or
271
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,107
understanding cop?
272
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,195
Should we just grab
the baby and run,
273
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,719
or should we get
an appetizer first?
274
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,242
What the fuck?
275
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:37,462
Limpdick. I
should have known.
276
00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:38,812
Ahoy-hoy, gentlemen.
277
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:41,684
Tis I, your
fearless captain.
278
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,555
Of the S.S. Batshit?
279
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:45,645
Very droll, earthling,
but it is dreams
280
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,211
which fill this
vessel's sails
281
00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:48,909
as it tacks
among the stars.
282
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:50,388
You fucking
nut bar.
283
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:51,563
You were always
obsessed with
284
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:52,521
that kid.
285
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:53,696
Gimme my son!
286
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:56,699
You lost the
communications device?
287
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:58,092
Pardon me.
288
00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,267
You probably know it
better by its Earth name.
289
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:00,660
Your bay-bee.
290
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,226
I need it to reestablish
a link to the aliens
291
00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:04,489
to let them know I'm
ready for pickup.
292
00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:05,795
Open the short bus
or I'll do it
293
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:07,014
with what's left of
your fucking head.
294
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,406
Yeah, hang on,
Baby!
295
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,278
Uncle Larry's
coming!
296
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,195
Oh wow!
297
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:16,893
That is a
lot of crazy...
298
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:18,242
Ali Devon?!
299
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:19,287
Oh hi Larry.
300
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,549
You let him
kidnap you too?
301
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,290
Quick question fellas.
302
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:23,465
On a scale from
three to seventeen,
303
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,597
how much does
a taser hurt?
304
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:27,164
[zap]
305
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:28,209
Awwww!
306
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,610
The wheels on the
kidnapper's van
307
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:39,611
don't go round
and round cause
308
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:40,787
spaceships don't
have wheels,
309
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,397
they have
hover fields,
310
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:44,704
all the
live long day.
311
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:46,749
Everybody -
312
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,577
Pssst.
313
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:50,710
Hey, don't worry.
314
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,929
For a brain-damaged
psychopath,
315
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,323
he's actually
pretty nice,
316
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,541
well except for
the whole...
317
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:57,586
kidnapping thing.
318
00:11:57,586 --> 00:12:01,155
Wow, you're
full-on Stockholm.
319
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,027
Could be.
320
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:06,769
It has been a while
since I've seen daylight.
321
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,640
And I'm happy
to see you,
322
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,338
which makes
zero sense.
323
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:12,819
It makes
perfect sense.
324
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,777
He can lead
us to the
325
00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:15,778
communication
device.
326
00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,432
Your bay-bee.
327
00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:17,911
Fuck.
328
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,521
So, Chester.
329
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,392
How exactly do you
communicate with
330
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:25,396
the aliens via
a little baby?
331
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:26,702
That's crazy talk.
332
00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:28,660
Aliens communicate
by sending messages
333
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,488
in DNA protein.
334
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:32,664
The baby is just
a homing beacon.
335
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:34,579
Uh huh.
336
00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:35,624
Right.
337
00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,408
What the fuc-
338
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:38,845
While were on
the subject,
339
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,063
Richard has really
turned the corner
340
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:42,587
and he is one
heck of a dad now.
341
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:48,245
Oh, wow that is
so nice to hear.
342
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:50,639
I mean that's why I
left our son with him.
343
00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,684
Sure I was on
a downward spiral
344
00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:55,644
of self-loathing and
crippling postpartum
345
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:57,472
depression,
but I always knew
346
00:12:57,472 --> 00:13:00,736
that Fitz would grow
into becoming a father.
347
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:02,433
Don't say anything
about your dick.
348
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,261
Fine then you say
something about it...
349
00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:06,133
Or better yet,
do something about it.
350
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:07,656
It is right here.
351
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:13,967
A-hem.
352
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,795
How about we control
our baser urges
353
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,797
in front of Larry
and focus on finding
354
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,450
the lost baby.
355
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:22,714
Lost baby?
356
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,065
Our baby?
357
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,808
Not lost.
358
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,766
We think someone
took him.
359
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:31,811
Hello?
360
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,596
If anything happens
to my baby,
361
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:38,382
I will fucking
kill you!
362
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,735
Quit fighting or,
so help me Zorth,
363
00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:44,824
I will turn this
spaceship around
364
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,216
and drive us
off a cliff.
365
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:47,565
Just kidding.
366
00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:48,610
Maybe.
367
00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:51,352
That's it!
368
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:59,229
♪ Work your body,
work your body bitch ow! ♪
369
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,809
Motherfucker!
370
00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:16,986
Who the fuck took
my anal bleach?
371
00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:23,297
I can't believe it.
372
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:24,341
[gasp]
373
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,785
Aghhhh!
374
00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:35,091
Jimmy.
375
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,745
What the fuck?
376
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:38,094
Where's my
threatening call?
377
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:38,790
I've been
waiting all day.
378
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:39,791
Aw, sorry, Ken.
379
00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,793
Was I supposed to
shake you down?
380
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,491
And lay off the Molly Maid
warning schtick.
381
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:44,709
I'm good for the cash.
382
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,450
I didn't send anyone.
383
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:49,279
Rico's in for varicose
vein treatment all week.
384
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:50,759
I'll get to it.
385
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:53,196
It's time we meet
face to face, fucktard,
386
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:56,373
and Ibetterpay up
by tonight, or else.
387
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:57,809
Come on, show some
goddamn respect
388
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,246
for your craft.
389
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,118
I saw something in
the bathroom, Daddy.
390
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:04,599
Someone was
in there.
391
00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:06,818
Showtime!
Ha ha ha ha!
392
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,304
Right on time.
393
00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:15,827
Now you sit tight
while I go find
394
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,090
the baby-beacon.
395
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:18,308
Then why do
you need us?
396
00:15:18,308 --> 00:15:19,353
I don't.
397
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:21,790
Except Ali.
398
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,793
Who's to become
my celestial bride.
399
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,360
Either that or
they'll turn her
400
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,622
into a coat.
401
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,318
The overlords weren't
a hundred per cent
402
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:29,667
clear on that.
403
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:30,973
Oh Chester.
404
00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,844
There's something
I have to tell you.
405
00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:34,107
I am an alien.
406
00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:41,114
And I have hid the
key to the spaceship.
407
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:45,683
I knew there
was something
408
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:46,815
off about you...
409
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,556
You're a liar!
410
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:50,079
Aliens don't
use keys.
411
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,647
They unlock things
with star fruit.
412
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:53,865
Right. Right.
413
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:54,692
Of course.
414
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,477
Of course uh...
415
00:15:56,477 --> 00:16:00,002
You have passed
my test, earthling
416
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:02,048
and have proven
you are worthy to
417
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:05,225
traipse among
the stars.
418
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,705
You don't need a kid
to signal the ship.
419
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,665
You can use
a signal fire.
420
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:16,888
Scratch that.
421
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,847
You're a
horrible liar.
422
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:21,632
But it's not
a bad idea...
423
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:24,896
Are you fucking
kidding me,
424
00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:26,246
a signal fire?
425
00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:29,727
What the fuck is
wrong with you?.
426
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,079
A warehouse inferno
will make an
427
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,385
excellent signal fire.
428
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:42,001
[groans]
429
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,002
Sorry.
430
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:45,656
What's that smell?
431
00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:47,615
It's gasoline,
taint-licker.
432
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:48,833
Any final
requests?
433
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:49,704
Sinatra?
434
00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:50,705
[phone rings]
435
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:51,706
Well, can can I
answer my phone?
436
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,494
I can't trust
you to do that.
437
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,061
Ahoy-hoy.
438
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:03,413
Come to fifteen-fifteen
Commercial Avenue.
439
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,550
Did you hear that?
440
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:14,424
You sit tight and I'll
be back real soon, okay?
441
00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:16,209
Toodles.
442
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:19,777
Um, aren't I your
celestial bride?
443
00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:23,694
Oh silly,
you can't burn a star.
444
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:30,049
[maniacal laughter]
445
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,674
Well that
was close.
446
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:53,594
Fuck!
447
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:57,076
Gotcha, you creepy,
peepy, fuck!
448
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,077
Now!
449
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,863
Hands Up!
450
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:03,734
Ah! Don't shoot!
451
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,214
Woah!
452
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:07,042
You're not the
fucking mob.
453
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,565
I'm sorry Mr. F.
454
00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:10,872
You said I was useless
and then I got stoned,
455
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:13,222
and then I
started dusting...
456
00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:14,963
and now I can't stop
every time I smoke a bowl.
457
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:17,313
You sick fuck.
458
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:18,358
I know.
459
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:19,489
I'm cleaning the
fucking grout
460
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:20,490
between tiles, man.
461
00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:21,883
You gotta help me.
462
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:23,537
I've been hiding in here
taking naps so I can
463
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:24,755
clean around
the clock.
464
00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:26,279
Do something, Daddy.
465
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,368
Get your shit
out of here.
466
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:29,064
Of course sir.
467
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:32,067
Not you, her.
468
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,590
He's taking
your room.
469
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:34,504
What?!
470
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:35,723
You can't
do that.
471
00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:36,680
At least the hippie
fuck pulls his
472
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,552
weight around here.
473
00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:39,118
[gasps]
474
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,641
What.
475
00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:42,382
You wanna
be roomies?
476
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:43,774
Don't touch me!
477
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:48,649
Oh, just a little
to the left.
478
00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:49,737
Oh yeah!
479
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:51,521
Richard, now is
not the time!
480
00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:53,610
If I get through
this rope,
481
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:54,698
I'm going to
chew it off
482
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,178
and make you
choke on it.
483
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:57,919
Don't you gang
up on me.
484
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:59,703
Piss!
485
00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:00,487
What'd you run
out of insults?
486
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:01,923
- No.
- Larry, Piss.
487
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:02,793
On the fire.
488
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:03,620
Buy us some time.
489
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:04,708
Richard, I
could never.
490
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:05,709
In front
of a lady?
491
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:06,928
Oh right.
492
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:07,798
Because letting me
burn to death would be
493
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:08,973
the gentlemanly
thing to do?
494
00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,018
Fine.
495
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,807
I hate urinating
on demand.
496
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,027
Piss, you little
bitch, piss!
497
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,202
Oh I never.
498
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,824
So much fire,
so little pee.
499
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,652
Just put it
in your pants.
500
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:36,871
Hey wait up.
501
00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:38,525
Thanks Larry,
middle of fucking nowhere.
502
00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:39,743
What if they
hurt him?
503
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:42,224
I swear to God Fitz,
if there is one scratch
504
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,486
on that baby -
505
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,749
Ali, believe me,
Richard cares about
506
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:46,620
that baby just as
much as you do.
507
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:47,664
Yeah.
508
00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:49,318
Little fucker
stole my money.
509
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:51,190
I need it to buy
the dealership back.
510
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,582
You see?
511
00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:53,757
He doesn't give
a shit about
512
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:56,020
anyone but himself.
513
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:57,935
You know I have been
down this road before
514
00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:00,286
and look where
it got me.
515
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:00,982
Miss Devon.
516
00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:02,026
Wait.
517
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,202
I think Richard's
acting up because
518
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,029
he feels abandoned
by his mother,
519
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,727
his father,
his son.
520
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:08,381
And now you leaving
makes it worse.
521
00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:11,775
Yeah, yeah
what he said.
522
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,603
Are you kidding?
523
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,170
You wanna know
why everyone
524
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:16,780
abandons you,
Fitz?
525
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:19,435
Because you
deserve it.
526
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:20,784
You want to know
how this ends?
527
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:22,873
Listen close you fuck 'cause
here's the punch line.
528
00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:24,745
Your liver gives out,
your father's heart
529
00:20:24,745 --> 00:20:27,313
finally implodes
and no one takes over
530
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:30,316
your low-rent dealership
when your cold rotting
531
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,796
carcasses hit
the ground.
532
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:38,759
Reckon you could
all use a lift?
533
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:39,977
Name's Bruce.
534
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:50,684
1515 Commercial Avenue please.
535
00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,561
I have located
the missing alien.
536
00:20:58,561 --> 00:21:00,824
He's at 1515
Commercial Avenue.
537
00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:03,784
Do not approach
the beacon.
538
00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:08,310
Only I can decode
the Master's protein-DNA.
539
00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:11,531
The one sane
white devil has
540
00:21:11,531 --> 00:21:12,619
stopped making sense.
541
00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:14,708
But, cousin?!
542
00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:16,927
We may have
located Bruce.
543
00:21:16,927 --> 00:21:18,102
And our passports?
544
00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:20,104
We'll soon find out.
545
00:21:20,104 --> 00:21:38,732
[♪ ♪]
546
00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:43,780
Time to find out whose
fucking with my dealership.
547
00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:53,921
Where the
fuck is Jimmy?
548
00:21:53,921 --> 00:21:55,139
Who's asking?
549
00:21:55,139 --> 00:21:57,185
Ken fucking Fitzpatrick.
550
00:21:57,185 --> 00:21:58,708
Don't hurt me.
551
00:22:00,231 --> 00:22:01,711
You're Jimmy?
552
00:22:01,711 --> 00:22:03,365
What kind of fucking
muscle are you?
553
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:04,975
I'm not.
554
00:22:04,975 --> 00:22:06,586
My nana says
I'm skinny fat.
555
00:22:06,586 --> 00:22:07,674
Where are the
leg breakers?
556
00:22:07,674 --> 00:22:09,589
The knee cappers?
557
00:22:09,589 --> 00:22:11,155
Am I speaking Mexican?
558
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:12,461
It wasn't even
my money.
559
00:22:12,461 --> 00:22:15,595
Some guy he hired me
to loan you that cash.
560
00:22:15,595 --> 00:22:17,336
Said he didn't
even want it back.
561
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,120
Who?
562
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,122
Who motherfucker?!
563
00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:36,398
Master,
is it you?
564
00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:37,660
What is
this chicanery?
565
00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:39,445
Where is Bruce?!
566
00:22:51,718 --> 00:22:52,893
Is that?
567
00:22:52,893 --> 00:22:53,850
Bruce.
568
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:54,764
Where is my
pipe bomb?
569
00:22:54,764 --> 00:22:55,809
Glove box.
570
00:23:02,511 --> 00:23:03,730
Our passports.
571
00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:05,427
Cousin!
572
00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:07,255
We have made a
grievous error.
573
00:23:07,255 --> 00:23:09,257
Racial profiling does
solve everything!
574
00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:12,042
We have found
our passports!
575
00:23:14,784 --> 00:23:15,785
Open up!
576
00:23:27,971 --> 00:23:28,798
Deliver your
protein message
577
00:23:28,798 --> 00:23:30,496
to me, leader.
578
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:31,540
I'm ready.
579
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,259
Sorry for all the
cloak and dagger.
580
00:23:55,259 --> 00:23:59,046
Wanted to avoid any
unnecessary press.
581
00:24:03,659 --> 00:24:05,313
Yuri.
582
00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:07,837
Special special Assistant.
583
00:24:09,186 --> 00:24:11,232
To who?
584
00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:12,538
Whom.
585
00:24:12,538 --> 00:24:13,582
Ahh.
586
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:24,593
[bay gurgles happily]
587
00:24:27,378 --> 00:24:28,510
The beacon!
588
00:24:31,426 --> 00:24:32,558
[baby cries]
589
00:24:32,558 --> 00:24:34,298
Give me
back my kid.
590
00:24:34,298 --> 00:24:35,865
It's ok, honey.
591
00:24:35,865 --> 00:24:37,345
Mommy's here!
592
00:24:44,831 --> 00:24:47,007
Who the
fuck are you?
593
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:00,760
Nooooooooooo!
37928
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof