All language subtitles for Call Me Fitz (2010) S03E09 (1080p AMZN WEB-DL H264 SDR DDP 5.1 English - HONE)_track4_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:20,585 Hey, pay attention, fuckers... 2 00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:24,067 The devil-father Fitzpatrick has found a most ingenious way 3 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,764 out of our sales contract. 4 00:00:25,764 --> 00:00:27,723 Starting his own religion. 5 00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:29,072 Tax-free profits. 6 00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,378 Halle-fucking-lujah. 7 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,467 We were always good business partners, Lainey. 8 00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,295 I would like to go for ice cream with you, Larry. 9 00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:36,079 More than you could possibly imagine. 10 00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:37,950 We need to shore up votes, and fast. 11 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:40,649 Look who's decided to wake up and give a shit! 12 00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:44,131 Fine, but I'm doing this for me, not you. Me. 13 00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,741 You know Ken's just gonna fuck you over 14 00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:46,872 like he always does. 15 00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:48,265 This isn't what it looks like. 16 00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:50,441 That little shit was right about you! 17 00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:53,401 Hey, God, it's me, Fitz. 18 00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,924 I need to speak to Frank. 19 00:00:54,924 --> 00:00:56,317 I'm havin' a kid. 20 00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:57,666 And I don't want the little fucker 21 00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:59,320 to think I'm a loser, like my old man. 22 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,191 I gotta win this fuckin' election. 23 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:03,063 So throw me a bone, will ya, Frank? 24 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,586 Richard Fitzpatrick won? 25 00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:05,717 Ha! 26 00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,023 That's right, fuckers! 27 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,591 Fitz won, and I won it for him! 28 00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,071 Woo hoo! 29 00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:19,122 There are two kinds of people in this world. 30 00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,081 Those who float above all the shit, 31 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:24,867 and those who run right through it. 32 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,435 Genghis Khan, he was a floater. 33 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,611 He lead strong, crushed his enemies 34 00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:31,700 and the weaklings followed. 35 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,223 People need a leader 36 00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:36,400 who tells them what to want, how to get it, 37 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,011 and who doesn't have shit on his heels. 38 00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:44,191 First order of business - get my office up to code. 39 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,757 I don't think you get your own office. 40 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,063 The city can't afford it. 41 00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:48,282 Then get me one. 42 00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:51,023 With a turntable and my Sinatra 45's. 43 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,590 Some nudes for the wall. 44 00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:54,114 And a shark tank. 45 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,289 No stripper pole? 46 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,813 Already ordered. 47 00:01:57,813 --> 00:02:00,207 Richard, we're moments away 48 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,905 from tasting our sweet dream together. 49 00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:06,343 It's a bar, cockswab, not a bath house. 50 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:08,737 Time to get shit done. 51 00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:11,000 Lead with your balls. 52 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,784 And never apologize 53 00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:15,004 when your pubes get in someone's face. 54 00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:18,007 It's Fitz o'clock, fuckers. 55 00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:20,009 I'm a councilman now. 56 00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:22,446 Retract that titmouse law; I got a bar to open. 57 00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,579 I'm sorry, but we're locked in a stalemate 58 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:28,626 over Cat Leash Ordinance C-39. 59 00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,541 All new legislation is to be tabled 60 00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,717 on a first come first serve basis. 61 00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:34,328 How long's it gonna take? 62 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:37,287 Let's see... 63 00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:38,593 Three years. Give or take. 64 00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:42,118 Fuck. 65 00:02:43,685 --> 00:03:23,812 [♪] 66 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:38,261 Okay, look. 67 00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:40,959 I'm sorry city council was too busy with kitty cats 68 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,700 to allow you to open your bar right away. 69 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:45,964 But what a great lesson in patience, am I right? 70 00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:47,357 Poor baby hit a roadblock 71 00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,011 on his first hour at his new job. 72 00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:50,752 You're the one who wanted the job. 73 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,362 I merely got it for you. 74 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:53,885 And that's why you're fired. 75 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,411 I'm not the enemy here. 76 00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:58,890 And, trust me, 77 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,284 you do not want to make me one. 78 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:03,155 We've been enemies, Foxley, 79 00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,635 and we've been friends. 80 00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,420 Neither one's done me much good. 81 00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,950 [loud crash] 82 00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,611 Remember this moment, Fitz. 83 00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:28,093 Because this moment, right here, 84 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:30,487 is exactly when you fucked yourself. 85 00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,450 For what it's worth, 86 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:39,017 I never thought Dot 87 00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:41,803 was a worthy member of Team Fitz. 88 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,239 Now that the dead weight is gone 89 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,502 we can focus on your Summerwind dream- 90 00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:48,288 Could you take a memo for me, Larry? 91 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,898 I would be oh so very honored 92 00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:52,292 to take your first memo, Councilman. 93 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,858 To, Larry. Larry. 94 00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,904 Re: your ass. Ass. 95 00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:57,209 It's fired too. 96 00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:58,863 ...fired too. 97 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,563 No, no, no... 98 00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,438 I feel so betrayed. 99 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:09,918 After all I've done for him, 100 00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:11,528 he just throws me away like a pair of... 101 00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:12,834 dirty underpants. 102 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,183 You know, Larry, 103 00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,316 you're kinda sounding like panties right now. 104 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,491 You want to be panties 105 00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,709 or you want to be boxer shorts? 106 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:21,103 Huh... Boxer shorts? 107 00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,234 Fuck yeah. 108 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,324 Boxer shorts with big balls in them. 109 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,890 Balls that are out to get even. 110 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:31,679 I always say 'revenge is a dish best served with... 111 00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:34,377 [gasp] yeah... Dioxin poisoned sushi.' 112 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:35,378 Nom nom nom... 113 00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,861 Or, oh yeah, the old water gun 114 00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,471 full of sulfuric acid. 115 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:44,126 [mouth noises] 116 00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:45,780 Oh, yeah. 117 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,303 The Atomic wedgie. 118 00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:49,000 Classic... 119 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,959 Those all sound a little extreme, Josh. 120 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:53,396 Then what's your idea of revenge, Larry? 121 00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:54,528 Stink bomb in a locker? 122 00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,094 Don't be such a fucking nerd. 123 00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,009 I don't want to take revenge on Richard. 124 00:05:58,009 --> 00:06:00,664 Revenge on Fitz - How can you even think that? 125 00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,100 Josh, you're the one who- 126 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,754 After everything you did to him? 127 00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:05,408 Filled his head with false hope. 128 00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,410 Made him take on a SECOND job. 129 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,586 And now you plot deadly revenge? 130 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:12,546 Oh my God, you're right... Maybe. 131 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,852 You better apologize to Fitz 132 00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:16,985 or I will punch you in the feelings. 133 00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,682 You get me? 134 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:21,424 If I say anything other than yes 135 00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:23,078 you'll hurt me, right? 136 00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:33,871 [sigh] 137 00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:35,307 I'm a wolf. 138 00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:37,745 Up on that hill, they're all spineless douchebags. 139 00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:38,876 Sheep. 140 00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:40,269 I'll be fucked if I'm gonna 141 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:42,402 listen to them jaw about cat laws all day. 142 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,968 Then stick to what you're good at. 143 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:45,492 Right. 144 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:48,059 What am I good at? 145 00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:51,323 Fitz, you're a born salesman. 146 00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:53,413 You knocked me up in the back of a station wagon 147 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,892 on my wedding day, 148 00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,112 got me to leave the only semi-stable, 149 00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:59,244 employed man I've met in my life 150 00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,377 and convinced me that we might work together. 151 00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:04,075 Yeah, I showed that weasely fuck. 152 00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,773 Exactly. 153 00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,992 Don't worry about the puppets. 154 00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:09,994 You want the guy who pulls the strings. 155 00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:12,127 Go after the mayor. 156 00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:16,131 Yeah, how hard can it be to get one guy on my side? 157 00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:17,872 Especially when he has no backbone 158 00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:20,701 and a drinking problem. 159 00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:23,312 We swim in the same circles. 160 00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:26,141 At least we will until I have to go on maternity leave. 161 00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:28,056 Well now he's swimming with a shark, baby. 162 00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:29,840 I thought you were a wolf. 163 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,538 You're hot when you're being all smart and shit. 164 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,714 Yeah? Mmmm. 165 00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:38,240 [heavy breathing] 166 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:45,377 [♪] 167 00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,554 Mr. Fitzpatrick? 168 00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,643 Call me Fitz, Mayor Andrews. 169 00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:53,081 So... why are we at a naked lady bar? 170 00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:55,518 The buffet is excellent. 171 00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,043 Lunch? 172 00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:00,392 No, no. No thanks. 173 00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,046 Suit yourself. 174 00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,532 Well... Maybe just one. 175 00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:12,317 Atta boy. 176 00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:20,587 [♪] 177 00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,806 But, I'm a servant to the public- 178 00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:23,938 They voted you in. 179 00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:25,548 Gave you the keys to the joint. 180 00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:28,203 Take it for a spin. 181 00:08:28,203 --> 00:08:30,553 Do whatever you want. Whenever you want. 182 00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:32,163 You earned that shit. 183 00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:35,079 Yeah, I did. 184 00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:37,821 Stop asking what people need. 185 00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,388 They don't fucking know. 186 00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:40,868 Grow a pair. 187 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,095 Oooh... 188 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:53,663 I love you. 189 00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,753 I love you! 190 00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,929 Don't mind, Niko. She's a little shy. 191 00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,062 Niko! That's Niko. 192 00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:02,977 Niko has special skills. 193 00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,591 Wow, that's quite a talent! 194 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,724 Looks like you two could use a little alone time. 195 00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,029 Hey... 196 00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,596 How 'bout some lap dances, hon? 197 00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,555 Oh, and... bring a friend. 198 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,774 That chick who can go down on herself, yeah? 199 00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:18,775 Giddyup. 200 00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,429 [laughs] 201 00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:23,345 Giddyup! 202 00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:24,868 Ahh! 203 00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:28,263 Good news! 204 00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:30,657 I have a plan. 205 00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,920 I'm going to apologize! To Richard! 206 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,399 That's right! 207 00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:36,227 I'm going to teach Richard the power of forgiveness. 208 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,142 I'll be back at City Hall before you can spell 209 00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:39,361 "filibuster." 210 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:43,321 Suck it up, kitten. 211 00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:44,888 Your boyfriend is gone. 212 00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,847 Time to give it up. 213 00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:49,719 I'll never give up on Richard! 214 00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:52,896 You want to teach him forgiveness? 215 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,724 Crush him, Larry. 216 00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:57,074 Crush him until he crawls back to you, 217 00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:59,555 his knees like bloody linguini. 218 00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:02,602 And when the salt from his own tears burns his wounds 219 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,343 and he whimpers for someone to end his pain, 220 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:09,086 you can show him forgiveness by caving his skull in 221 00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,653 with the sledge hammer 222 00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:14,004 of a wasted life and an eternity of regret. 223 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:25,102 We have to drive outside city limits to enjoy ourselves. 224 00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:26,974 It's a God damn crime. 225 00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:29,367 This, right here, is what Coverton needs. 226 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:30,630 A little spice. Am I right? 227 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,154 Yeah. Oh my God, yeah. 228 00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,851 So let's go downtown and get it done. 229 00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,200 Like men. 230 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,680 We gotta repeal the titmouse ordinance 231 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,987 and get the Summerwind back on track, ok? 232 00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:43,294 That sounds good. So fucking good. 233 00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:46,558 Richard, I'm sorry for interrupting. 234 00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,996 but I'm here to apologize. 235 00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,911 And not for interrupting just now, 236 00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:52,826 though I am very sorry for that as well. 237 00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,218 Spit it out, fucknut. 238 00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:55,611 We're paying by the song here. 239 00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:58,179 Richard... 240 00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:01,835 I'm sorry I let you down and you had to fire me. 241 00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:04,011 It is my hope that this apology 242 00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:06,013 shows you the value of forgiveness. 243 00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:07,797 - Larry? - Yes? 244 00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:11,671 Iris... 245 00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:16,327 You're a stripper? 246 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:17,807 And you. 247 00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,679 You make her take her clothes off? 248 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:20,723 No, Larry. 249 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,638 I pay her to take her clothes off. 250 00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,292 And that's not all. 251 00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,816 Niko, get up there and show 'em the main attraction. 252 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:29,993 You're gonna love this, Larry. 253 00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:31,734 I don't understand. How could you just- 254 00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,431 It's just my job, Larry. 255 00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,390 I didn't know how to tell you. 256 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,219 Showing men my dirty pillows makes them happy. 257 00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:39,699 And that makes me happy. 258 00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,310 Am I right, or am I right? 259 00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,966 Your bunny... 260 00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:48,490 Your bunny that got killed by the GT... 261 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,448 That was a lie? 262 00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:51,972 Of course it was, fucknugget. 263 00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,713 I had to feed her some bullshit story. 264 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,323 Only way I could make sure 265 00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,716 you'd open up to someone with a vagina. 266 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,239 It's very pretty, by the way. 267 00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,370 Thank you. 268 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:02,156 You could have any girl you want. 269 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,288 And you go after Iris? 270 00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:05,942 My Iris? 271 00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:11,382 I will never forgive you for this. 272 00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:13,558 Eff you both! 273 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:16,344 Eff you all to H! 274 00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:18,041 Larry, wait! 275 00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,739 Whoa! Where'd that second one come from? 276 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,002 [laughter] 277 00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:32,882 [laughter continues] 278 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,058 Our debate is at a critical juncture, 279 00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:37,234 cats are urinating willy-nilly, 280 00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,106 and you have the nerve to sleep in? 281 00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:40,672 Someone needs to get laid. 282 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:41,978 Or likes to get peed on. 283 00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:44,720 Point is, sit down and shut the fuck up. 284 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,896 This cat law bullshit is finito. 285 00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,376 That's right. 286 00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:49,899 We're having a motherfucking vote 287 00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,683 all up in this bitch. 288 00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:53,076 I'll second the shit out of that. 289 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:56,471 Okay. Who wants cat leashes? 290 00:12:56,471 --> 00:13:01,476 And those who are all like, 'no way'? 291 00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:04,174 Okay. No leashes! 292 00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:06,350 Free pussy! [laughs] 293 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,091 And the other thing. Don't forget the other thing. 294 00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,397 Oh yeah. 295 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,834 And Fitz - who is wicked by the way - 296 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,488 you guys should all hang with him - 297 00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:15,838 is now deputy mayor. 298 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:17,361 But you said I was gonna be deputy. 299 00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:19,668 How would you like your face punched in, eh? 300 00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,931 All right. Motion carried. 301 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,414 Richard Fitzpatrick is the man. 302 00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,850 Now... 303 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,504 I move we all go over to the Danger Zone 304 00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:30,766 and have lunch. 305 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,202 The buffet is the bomb. 306 00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:34,726 [laughs] That buffet... 307 00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,772 Come on! Come on, kids... 308 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,730 You guys... 309 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:41,690 Fitz'll introduce you to all sorts of delicacies... 310 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,432 Ah, that buffet. 311 00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:45,955 Mr. Mayor! 312 00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:02,232 How did your little apology go? 313 00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:04,147 I'm done with apologies. 314 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:06,410 You're in good company, friend. 315 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,027 I know we've had our share of differences 316 00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:15,506 over the years, Larry. 317 00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,117 But, as you can see, 318 00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:19,336 the League of Sober Entrepreneurs prides itself 319 00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:21,512 on being an inclusive lobby group. 320 00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,776 Please, have a seat. 321 00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:30,913 If we are 'sober entrepreneurs' 322 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,567 why are we meeting in a bar? 323 00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:33,829 Because fuck off, that's why. 324 00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:36,919 The League of Sober Entrepreneurs? 325 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,921 - 'L.O.S.E.R.S.' for short. - Shut up. 326 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:41,706 I said no acronyms and it's my group. 327 00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:45,058 Now, as per our mission statement - 328 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,103 'The League of Sober Entrepreneurs 329 00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,932 lobbies government to destroy that degenerate dickhead, 330 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,412 Richard Fitzpatrick.' 331 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:54,067 'Dickhead' was my contribution. 332 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,547 We have the resources. We have the manpower. 333 00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:58,462 Now we just need a plan. 334 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:04,077 I have a plan. 335 00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:07,907 We'll hit Fitz where it hurts... 336 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:12,172 Looks like someone's grown a set of lady balls. 337 00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,310 Stand back, Miss Foxley. 338 00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,834 With a one two combo of caring and compelling arguments, 339 00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:25,576 I, Larry, will make our plan heard... 340 00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:26,969 And hopefully implemented... 341 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,928 If... if people like it. 342 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,799 You're planning. I'm execution. 343 00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:32,366 I'll deal with Mayor Bitchass. 344 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,194 It's Andrews. 345 00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,631 Mayor Andrews. 346 00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,894 Let's skip the names and focus on the fucking. 347 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,504 Focus on the what now? 348 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:41,723 Beg your pardon, ma'am? 349 00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:44,204 Don't beg. Not yet. 350 00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:48,904 That comes after I rip, tear, slap, lick, scream, claw, 351 00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:52,081 spank, bite, suck, whip, slurp and swallow. 352 00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:53,474 Ah! 353 00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:56,651 That's when you can beg. 354 00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,870 Does that sound ok to you? 355 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,874 If I yell yes and this is a dream, 356 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,920 will I wake myself up? 357 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,183 First things first. 358 00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:08,924 We have a by-law to pass. 359 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,407 [laughter] 360 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:15,278 [mimicks laughter] 361 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,891 God damn mayor, what the fuck's he doing? 362 00:16:21,676 --> 00:16:22,982 Fitz, I want you to know up front, 363 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,027 this wasn't my idea! 364 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:28,378 So nice of you to join us, Richard. 365 00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:29,989 What the fuck? 366 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,905 The fuck, Mr. Fitzpatrick, is prohibition. 367 00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:36,169 What are you losers talking about? 368 00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:38,258 So you've heard of our organization? 369 00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,346 Good. 370 00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:40,956 You see, Maverick, 371 00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,436 while you were at the Danger Zone, 372 00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:43,785 we had a little chat with city council. 373 00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:46,092 about Coverton's declining morality. 374 00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:49,312 She's very... persuasive. 375 00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:51,010 And they were only too happy to put 376 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,534 the last nail in the coffin of your pathetic dream. 377 00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:56,015 A near-unanimous vote. 378 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,886 If it makes you feel any better, buddy, 379 00:16:57,886 --> 00:16:59,844 I abstained. 380 00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,716 I told you not to fuck with me. 381 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:03,935 You backstabbing semen chugger. 382 00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,720 This was your idea, wasn't it. 383 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,635 Sticks and stones may break my bones 384 00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:09,854 but council passed the vote. 385 00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,813 Coverton is a dry town, Richard. 386 00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:13,858 The Summerwind will never open. 387 00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:24,086 Well, we'll always have the Danger Zone, huh, buddy? 388 00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:32,399 Council's controversial move to pass prohibition 389 00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:35,489 has indignant citizens... 390 00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,491 swarming the streets. 391 00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:40,189 An emergency council session has been called 392 00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:43,105 for this afternoon to deal with the chaos... 393 00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:45,020 This is Melody Gray, 394 00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:48,023 reporting live from the mean streets of Coverton. 395 00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:51,331 Prohibition - what are they, nuts? 396 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,335 Fitzy! 397 00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,336 Where the fuck have you been? 398 00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:57,598 Here's the thing. 399 00:17:57,598 --> 00:17:59,121 Your friends helped me realize 400 00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:01,515 it was high time I straighten up and fly right. 401 00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:05,432 So I quit drinking and joined AA. 402 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:07,390 And you should join too. 403 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:10,132 How do you live with yourself? 404 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,830 Cheap suits. Piece of shit car. 405 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,528 Now you want to deprive yourself 406 00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:16,138 of the one thing that makes you happy? 407 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,184 You're pathetic. 408 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,620 You're right. 409 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:20,795 I shouldn't have quit drinking. 410 00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,449 What the hell was I thinking of? 411 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:23,928 AA? 412 00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:25,843 All right, look. We can fix this, buddy. 413 00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:28,324 We can really make it work... 414 00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,892 Um... maybe. Right? 415 00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:33,242 Sit your flip-flopping ass down, and listen up. 416 00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,635 Great idea. 417 00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:36,289 Genius, actually. 418 00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:37,986 Where do you come up with this stuff? 419 00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:40,162 You need to act fast and repeal prohibition. 420 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:42,904 Swift action. That's the move. 421 00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,688 Right on, brother. 422 00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:46,516 Well, wait, can I do that? 423 00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:47,735 I'll have to ask someone. 424 00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:49,128 Don't ask. Tell. 425 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,564 At today's council meeting. 426 00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:52,043 Here's the thing. 427 00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:55,134 I have a tummy ache so I'm gonna skip that. 428 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,613 A couple nights ago 429 00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:59,094 I saw you strip down to a lime green thong 430 00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:01,357 and throat-punch a biker in pervert's row. 431 00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:02,837 - I did? - Oh yeah, you did. 432 00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,317 And it was awesome. 433 00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:07,015 You were unstoppable. And what now? 434 00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:09,017 Flop sweats and shakes? 435 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:11,106 They tell me alcoholism is a disease... 436 00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:13,717 Only symptom I've seen is the vagina you've grown. 437 00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,328 What? No, I - 438 00:19:15,328 --> 00:19:16,894 Oh, you're speaking metaphorically. 439 00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,505 You hear all those people out there? 440 00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:19,941 Rioting in the streets? 441 00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:21,986 [birds chirping] 442 00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:24,119 You know why? 443 00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,557 Because they're in pain. Pain that you caused. 444 00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:29,864 Oh my God. What have I done? 445 00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:32,083 You want to make it up to them? To me? 446 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,433 Axe prohibition. 447 00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,130 Everyone will forgive and forget. 448 00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,479 Don't listen to him. 449 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,220 He doesn't know anything about forgiveness. 450 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,787 He's right. 451 00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:41,223 You can't trust anything Fitz has to say on this issue. 452 00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,791 You're right. I can't. 453 00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,096 Why not? 454 00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:46,881 He isn't here for the good of the people. 455 00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:48,622 Richard only wants to repeal prohibition 456 00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:49,927 so he can open his lounge. 457 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,277 It's a clear conflict of interest, 458 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:54,541 and it's selfish and manipulative and mean. 459 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:55,672 Don't listen to these schmucks. 460 00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:58,240 You make up your own mind... 461 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,937 ...and do what I say. 462 00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:01,243 Totally. 463 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,072 Well... I can see that both of you 464 00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:07,467 present really, really, compelling arguments... 465 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:10,383 Take both of those arguments to council... 466 00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,472 You! 467 00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:15,126 Get your ass to council chambers. 468 00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,650 We gotta get this town drinking again! 469 00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:26,268 [exhales] God, do I miss that smell. 470 00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:27,574 Me too. 471 00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:28,879 Ah! 472 00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,316 What the hell are you doing? 473 00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:31,969 Well, don't make your hair smell like daisies 474 00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:33,754 if you don't want people to smell it. 475 00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:36,887 I mean in my apartment, Chester. 476 00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:39,629 You left your bedroom window unlocked. 477 00:20:39,629 --> 00:20:42,545 I wanted to make sure you knew before someone broke in. 478 00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:46,288 Chester, you have got to leave me alone. 479 00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:50,074 And that includes singing Coldplay on my voice mail. 480 00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:52,207 But I brought the renovation plans. 481 00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:54,470 This doesn't mean we can't still start a home practice. 482 00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,167 Can't you just see it? 483 00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:58,474 You and me working side by side? 484 00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:01,042 Baby Chester frolicking at our feet? 485 00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:05,307 Chester, our relationship is over. 486 00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:06,961 I will not renege 487 00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,963 on the promise my spermatozoa made to your ovum. 488 00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:11,922 My pregnant wife will not leave me 489 00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:13,576 for some booze swiller. 490 00:21:14,969 --> 00:21:16,840 People change. 491 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,494 Fitz cares about me. 492 00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:20,540 He cares about us. 493 00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:22,629 Fitz cares about one thing. 494 00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:24,544 I see the way he looks at you. 495 00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:27,503 All he wants is for that baby to be out of your belly. 496 00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:28,896 So you and he can... 497 00:21:33,117 --> 00:21:35,729 You had a threesome with my baby? 498 00:21:35,729 --> 00:21:39,298 Chester... 499 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,952 About the baby... 500 00:21:41,952 --> 00:21:44,259 Ahh! Die! Die! 501 00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:45,608 Why won't you die? 502 00:21:45,608 --> 00:21:47,523 How dare you impregnate my wife! 503 00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:50,874 Hey! Hey! I just had sex with her. 504 00:21:50,874 --> 00:21:52,833 She did the rest. 505 00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:54,138 Don't listen to him. 506 00:21:54,138 --> 00:21:57,098 He will twist your mind, steal your family 507 00:21:57,098 --> 00:22:00,144 and rub your tender heart against a cheese grater. 508 00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:02,364 Get him out of here! This is a closed session! 509 00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,366 You see? You see? 510 00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:07,804 This isn't about prohibition. Or what's good for this town. 511 00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:09,502 These L.O.S.E.R. assholes are out to get me. 512 00:22:09,502 --> 00:22:11,373 They're here because they hate me. 513 00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:12,243 I don't hate you. 514 00:22:12,243 --> 00:22:14,202 Of course you do. 515 00:22:14,202 --> 00:22:15,725 No Richard. 516 00:22:15,725 --> 00:22:17,771 Hate didn't bring me here today. 517 00:22:20,164 --> 00:22:21,514 Hope did. 518 00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:23,080 Oh cool. 519 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,995 Like the black guy named after that terrorist. 520 00:22:24,995 --> 00:22:27,084 All his ideas seemed to work out. 521 00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:28,347 Go ahead. 522 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,174 I'm here because I believe, 523 00:22:30,174 --> 00:22:33,308 deep down, people are good. 524 00:22:33,308 --> 00:22:37,007 But it can be difficult to bring that goodness out of them. 525 00:22:37,007 --> 00:22:41,272 Sometimes you have to force them to see it. 526 00:22:41,272 --> 00:22:44,624 Am I the only guy who thinks that sounds kinda rapey? 527 00:22:44,624 --> 00:22:48,323 Mr. Mayor, I applaud you. 528 00:22:48,323 --> 00:22:53,850 I think you are a man of action, integrity and... 529 00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:55,635 ...intestinal fortitude. 530 00:22:55,635 --> 00:22:57,811 I think I am, too. 531 00:22:57,811 --> 00:22:58,942 He's bullshitting you, Andrews. 532 00:22:58,942 --> 00:23:00,727 Don't fall for his touchy feely crap. 533 00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:03,860 Mayor, you have the power to convince people 534 00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:06,863 to do what's right, no matter how hard that may be. 535 00:23:06,863 --> 00:23:10,606 It's time to give the people of Coverton what they need. 536 00:23:10,606 --> 00:23:13,217 Some tough love. 537 00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:15,394 Yeah... 538 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,830 Yeah! 539 00:23:16,830 --> 00:23:18,875 I'm gonna love the shit out of this town 540 00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:21,269 whether they like it or not. 541 00:23:21,269 --> 00:23:24,054 I motion to declare a state of emergency. 542 00:23:24,054 --> 00:23:26,230 Expand police powers. 543 00:23:26,230 --> 00:23:28,885 Redouble our efforts to make sure prohibition sticks. 544 00:23:28,885 --> 00:23:30,713 - Second! - What the fuck? 545 00:23:30,713 --> 00:23:33,455 All those for? 546 00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:35,065 So carried. 547 00:23:40,244 --> 00:23:42,508 See Fitz? I've got balls. 548 00:23:43,857 --> 00:24:01,527 [♪] 549 00:24:01,527 --> 00:24:03,920 You happy now, Larry? 550 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,619 Destroyed my dream and my life. 551 00:24:06,619 --> 00:24:09,404 No Richard, you did. 552 00:24:09,404 --> 00:24:11,450 With your selfishness. 553 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:14,365 That's a shit apology. 554 00:24:14,365 --> 00:24:17,586 By the way, I don't accept, cock pocket. 555 00:24:17,586 --> 00:24:19,762 All these years, 556 00:24:19,762 --> 00:24:21,721 I've fought everything you are 557 00:24:21,721 --> 00:24:24,071 in a vain attempt to make you change. 558 00:24:24,071 --> 00:24:26,116 Doing the same thing and expecting different results - 559 00:24:26,116 --> 00:24:27,857 That's insanity. 560 00:24:27,857 --> 00:24:32,862 No, insanity is some prostate milking assbandit 561 00:24:32,862 --> 00:24:34,734 showing up in a bunny suit 562 00:24:34,734 --> 00:24:36,518 claiming to be my conscience. 563 00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:39,260 You're the one who betrayed me. 564 00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:42,350 And aided in the debauchery of an innocent girl. 565 00:24:42,350 --> 00:24:43,351 Innocent? 566 00:24:43,351 --> 00:24:45,396 You only met Iris 567 00:24:45,396 --> 00:24:47,050 because I hired her to keep you company. 568 00:24:49,749 --> 00:24:51,185 You did? 569 00:24:51,185 --> 00:24:52,534 Thanks for not closing the deal. 570 00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:54,101 Saved me a bundle. 571 00:24:56,669 --> 00:24:59,628 Richard... Do you know what this means? 572 00:24:59,628 --> 00:25:01,587 You care about me. 573 00:25:01,587 --> 00:25:03,371 Really and truly. 574 00:25:03,371 --> 00:25:04,720 I only did it to distract your dumb ass 575 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,722 from fucking up my campaign. 576 00:25:06,722 --> 00:25:08,463 No, Richard, hiring Iris. 577 00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:10,770 That was... nice. 578 00:25:10,770 --> 00:25:12,554 Consider it a parting gift. 579 00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:15,339 You can't leave now. We're finally making progress. 580 00:25:15,339 --> 00:25:17,385 I never wanted you in my fucking life in the first place! 581 00:25:17,385 --> 00:25:18,647 I don't need a fucking conscience! 582 00:25:18,647 --> 00:25:19,735 And I never will! 583 00:25:22,346 --> 00:25:25,306 [tires squeal] 584 00:25:33,314 --> 00:25:36,273 Your sobriety isn't just a commitment to yourself, 585 00:25:36,273 --> 00:25:38,145 it's a commitment to others. 586 00:25:38,145 --> 00:25:40,930 In step 9, we'll learn the value of making ammends 587 00:25:40,930 --> 00:25:43,193 to those we've harmed with our disease. 588 00:25:43,193 --> 00:25:46,588 Oh, you are right. You are so right. 589 00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:49,417 Aw, Fitzy, I have to apologize! 590 00:25:49,417 --> 00:25:51,245 I have to make amends! 591 00:25:51,245 --> 00:25:53,595 I never meant to hurt you, buddy. 592 00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:55,815 You did so much for me! 593 00:25:57,251 --> 00:26:02,212 [cars honking] 594 00:26:02,212 --> 00:26:03,997 [sobbing] 595 00:26:03,997 --> 00:26:06,869 Fitzy! [sobbing] 596 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:14,007 I'll miss you, buddy. 597 00:26:14,007 --> 00:26:17,140 Hey, remember that time we got drunk together? 598 00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:19,621 Sure you do. 599 00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:31,981 Fitz, I've made up my mind. 600 00:26:31,981 --> 00:26:34,288 I'm going back to work 601 00:26:34,288 --> 00:26:35,855 and it does not make me a bad mother 602 00:26:35,855 --> 00:26:39,249 no matter what anyone says - including my mother. 603 00:26:39,249 --> 00:26:41,295 Your mother is dead. 604 00:26:41,295 --> 00:26:44,211 Exactly. Just hours after declaring a state of emergency, 605 00:26:44,211 --> 00:26:48,084 And being unhappy would make me dead too - inside. Mayor Andrews suffered what police have described as 606 00:26:48,084 --> 00:26:49,912 a 'sober Driving accident.' 607 00:26:49,912 --> 00:26:52,480 Hell yeah. 608 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,656 With the mayor's life hanging by a thread, 609 00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:59,748 governance of Coverton falls to his Deputy Mayor... 610 00:26:59,748 --> 00:27:02,664 ...Richard Fitzpatrick. 611 00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:04,971 Ring a ding ding. God help us all. 612 00:27:04,971 --> 00:27:07,364 This is Melody Gray reporting live 613 00:27:07,364 --> 00:27:10,150 from the scene of the accident. 614 00:27:10,150 --> 00:27:11,499 Pray for Mayor Andrews. 615 00:27:11,499 --> 00:27:13,153 Ring a ding ding. 42680

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