Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,411
Hey, pay attention, fuckers...
2
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:23,893
I need you to cancel that
thing today, the debate.
3
00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:25,329
Why?
4
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:27,114
Because my sister's dead.
5
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,506
Hey, why aren't you drinking?
6
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:29,551
Son of a bitch,
what's in this?
7
00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:32,728
Fuckers...
8
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:35,209
No angle;
a proposal.
9
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:38,473
What's the one thing you and
I were always good at together?
10
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:41,954
Ha!
A new dealership?
11
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,479
You're going to win it for me.
12
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,002
It's my new long-term plan.
13
00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:48,352
Relax Foxley, I got this!
14
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:51,094
A campaign that has
zero focus, no platform,
15
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,748
and not a single
female supporter?
16
00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:54,358
This is serious, Fitz!
17
00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:56,752
Chester, I'm leaving you!
18
00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:58,493
Motherfucker!
19
00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:02,062
You faked your sister's
death to get votes?
20
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:05,326
What do you have to say for
yourself, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
21
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:06,588
My sister's alive!
22
00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:08,590
It's a miracle!
23
00:01:10,244 --> 00:01:11,767
[organ music throughout]
24
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,291
Oh, God...
Oh God...
25
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:15,945
You wanna know what I believe?
26
00:01:15,945 --> 00:01:18,121
Chumps wait for miracles.
27
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:19,557
Fitzpatricks get
what they want
28
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:22,212
by following the
ten commandments...
29
00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:25,563
There will be no
other gods before me.
30
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:27,217
Obviously.
31
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:29,219
Never take the
Lord's name in vain.
32
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,960
Unless it's justified.
33
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,353
Jesus Christ,
sweet mother of fuck.
34
00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:34,398
Where's my lighter, Larry!
35
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,574
Don't worship false idols.
36
00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:38,141
Unless you're out
of single malt.
37
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:39,708
God, I hate blended.
38
00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:42,841
[moaning]
39
00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:44,626
Observe the Lord's Day.
40
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,149
Fuck me, Fitz.
41
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:48,847
Oh, I observed it alright.
42
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:52,112
Honor thy father.
43
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:55,289
Don't kill-- intentionally.
44
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,291
Then there's the one thing
that no one gives a shit about
45
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,162
so, who cares.
46
00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:01,164
Then there's the
adultery thing-
47
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:04,124
Get him! The stealing thing...
48
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,909
And, finally, my favorite
commandment of all...
49
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,606
Covet thy neighbour.
50
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,086
She's actually the
neighbour's daughter.
51
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:12,044
But who's counting?
52
00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:14,395
Because when you
live life right,
53
00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:16,788
good things just happen...
54
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,401
[grunting]
55
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:22,185
[splash]
56
00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,535
Amen.
57
00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:26,189
[flushing]
58
00:02:26,189 --> 00:03:06,055
[♪]
59
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:17,501
[lively gospel music]
60
00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:21,375
'Ooo, we are Fitzpatricks
and we rise from the dead.'
61
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,464
There has not been
one customer all day
62
00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,292
because of their
blasphemy, Cousin.
63
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,598
Yes, the devil
Father Fitzpatrick
64
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:29,644
has found a most
ingenious way
65
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,428
out of our
sales contract -
66
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,996
starting his own religion.
67
00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:37,478
And giving away free cars
with every $5000 "donation".
68
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,262
I say bah!
69
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,524
We shall overcome,
70
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,047
for we are Ruptal.
71
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:43,919
When has religion ever
stopped us before?
72
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,269
When the authorities put
you on their no-fly list.
73
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,879
It is preposterous of them
74
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:49,446
to think I could
hijack a plane
75
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,318
with a pair of nose
hair clippers...
76
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,015
Nose hair clippers!
77
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,550
Go find out what's going on.
78
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:07,899
No.
79
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,727
I'll be at the DUI-
Did you just say no?
80
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:11,163
- I did.
- Why the fuck not?
81
00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:12,904
Because the
election is imminent
82
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,819
and we need to focus
on shoring up votes.
83
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,343
That means hand shaking.
Baby kissing.
84
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,953
Last minute campaigning.
85
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,259
Who gives a shit
what you think?
86
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,173
I have faith in me and
that's all that matters.
87
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,175
Well, it's a good
thing you have faith,
88
00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:24,133
because it's going
to take a miracle
89
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:25,439
for you to win this election.
90
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:27,136
I refer to my first response:
91
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:28,398
who gives a shit
what you think.
92
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,270
The election is in the bag.
93
00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:39,670
Iris?
94
00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:42,325
[heavenly music]
95
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,761
NEXT!
96
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,807
C'mon, get out of here.
97
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,983
All right,
c'mon, c'mon...
98
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,076
- What's up?
- It's my hip.
99
00:04:55,382 --> 00:05:02,824
[gibberish sounds]
100
00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:04,304
You are healed.
101
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,783
You didn't even touch me.
102
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,263
I said you're healed.
103
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:08,308
Now go get your car. Pervert.
104
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,918
Out!
105
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:11,180
She's the mother
fucking messiah!
106
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,616
Do what she says!
107
00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:13,965
Yeah.
I'm the Messiah.
108
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:15,227
Right, Mommy?
109
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,533
And we're on
a tight fucking schedule!
110
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:19,710
- Let's go!
- NEXT!
111
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:22,104
All right, sweet cheeks,
what's up?
112
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:28,110
Iris?
113
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:30,765
Hi...
114
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,419
How did you find me?
115
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:33,681
Actually...
116
00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:35,987
I'm here for the miracle.
117
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,380
It seemed too good to be true
118
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,251
but I had to see for myself.
119
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:41,341
It is a miracle, Iris...
120
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,865
Us running into each
other like this.
121
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:46,041
I could escort you
to the tent, if you want.
122
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:49,261
And then...
123
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:52,743
...maybe we can go
for ice cream.
124
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:56,617
You and me?
Like, a date?
125
00:05:56,617 --> 00:06:00,142
Oh, you don't need
to call it that.
126
00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,665
Unless you want to.
127
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,014
Which is fine.
Or not.
128
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,974
Is it fine?
129
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:09,804
Iris, I don't think
it's an accident
130
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:12,372
you wandered onto this lot.
131
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:16,201
All these weeks, you
and me and the specter
132
00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:19,291
of the deceased creatures
who we both once loved.
133
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:23,687
It's fate, Iris.
134
00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:27,822
Our very own miracle!
135
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:30,302
No, Larry.
It isn't.
136
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:32,130
It isn't that at all.
137
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:45,448
♪ Money, money, money
138
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:46,841
Tax free profit.
139
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,277
Hallefuckinglujah.
140
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:50,540
We always were great
business partners, Lainey.
141
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,802
Shitty parents.
142
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:53,369
Nightmare marriage.
143
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:56,416
But goddamn geniuses when
it came to pushing tin.
144
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,895
I am the messiah!
145
00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,506
Is it too much to
ask for a soda
146
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:00,942
and a clean goddamn
dressing room?!
147
00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,639
We have to get the little
douchebag under control.
148
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,554
Jesus freaks like
their shit clean.
149
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:07,601
A church?
150
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:09,777
You fucking
kidding me?
151
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,431
What's he doing here?
152
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,823
A freak show
I could understand.
153
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,303
"Come see the bearded lady."
154
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:16,566
I told you I had electrolysis!
Now fuck off!
155
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,002
This is my miracle!
156
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:20,962
Daddy!
I want him out of here now!
157
00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:22,659
These suckers wouldn't be
here if it wasn't for me.
158
00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:25,488
[laughing]
159
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,751
It was my idea to kill
her in the first place!
160
00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:29,231
You'll all be fucking sorry
161
00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:31,363
when I win the election and
shut this shit show down!
162
00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:33,801
Better start praying
for a miracle, Fucker.
163
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:36,456
Because I'm telling everyone
to vote for Chester Vince!
164
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,935
Before or after you shave?
165
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,328
Hey, watch the suit!
166
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:40,677
You need a time out, Mister.
167
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,505
Me? She started it!
168
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,333
She's always ruining my shit!
169
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:45,508
Breaking my toys!
170
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:46,596
Now my campaign!
171
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,206
Hit the bricks!
172
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,860
And you can tell those curry
packers across the road
173
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,993
Ken Fitzpatrick is back.
174
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,864
And Elaine Fitzpatrick.
175
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:54,996
Yeah, her too.
176
00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,652
Fuck you-- all of you!
177
00:07:58,652 --> 00:08:00,044
Bye-bye,
Richard!
178
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:02,873
Divide and conquer.
179
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,006
I deal with Joan of Bark here.
180
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,095
You make sure numb-nuts
doesn't fuck up my scam.
181
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:08,792
Our scam.
182
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,141
That's what I said.
183
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:18,280
Eat my scraps,
asshole!
184
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,195
I need more fucking ketchup!
185
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:22,153
Squirt bottle!
186
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,851
Out of the trough, Legs.
187
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:26,027
We need to shore up votes.
And fast.
188
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:28,159
Oh, look who's decided
to wake up and give shit.
189
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:29,596
After last week's
little debacle,
190
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:30,901
you still think
we have a shot?
191
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,512
I don't need a shot.
I'm the fucking pistol.
192
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,904
Now move!
193
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,558
Don't talk to me like
I'm one of your minions.
194
00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:36,864
I busted my ass
for this campaign
195
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,518
and look what it got me.
196
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,650
Fine.
Put the wings on my tab.
197
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,130
Fuck you.
198
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:44,480
I am responsible for
my own failed career,
199
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,397
my bad choice of business
partner, my stress eating.
200
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:49,441
Wow.
201
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:52,096
Melody Gray was
right about you.
202
00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:54,142
What did she say?
203
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,405
You tell me, Cankles.
204
00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:58,015
I was big boned
205
00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:00,148
and I had a note to get
out of that fitness test.
206
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,715
I am not a quitter.
207
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:06,328
Fine.
208
00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:08,286
But I'm doing this for me.
209
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:09,592
Not you.
210
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:11,072
Me.
211
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,555
Any day now.
212
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,699
Scotch.
213
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,007
Vodka.
214
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,617
Better make it a triple,
Old Lady,
215
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,619
because after I get through
with you and Molly Mormon,
216
00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,360
you're gonna need it.
217
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,449
You always were a poor loser.
218
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:41,755
Says the woman who rigged
'pin the tail on the donkey'
219
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:43,104
at my birthday party
220
00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:45,019
so she could fuck
the winner's old man.
221
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:47,108
I should be thanking
you, actually.
222
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,110
You and your sister are
finally paying off.
223
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,591
The only reason we had
you shit dispensers
224
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,288
was so we could make money.
225
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,812
You mean that bullshit angle
Ken's playing?
226
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,640
That's short term.
227
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,642
I get into office,
you can make some real coin.
228
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,644
You really think
you're going to win.
229
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,428
Better fucking believe it.
230
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:04,995
Know what I believe?
231
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:07,345
You don't have a shot in hell.
232
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:10,261
Ken's going to fuck you over
just like he always does.
233
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:16,572
You can't con a conner, Kid.
234
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:19,531
Just stay out of our way.
235
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:28,758
You're gonna vote
for me, right, Charlie?
236
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,281
You gonna find another
place to drink?
237
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,507
[knocking] Vote for Fitz!
238
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,697
[grunting]
239
00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:22,246
Stop it.
He's not even worth it.
240
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:28,992
She loves me not.
241
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,343
She loves me not.
242
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,998
She still loves me not.
243
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,088
Oh, fuck.
244
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,611
Don't you have
somewhere else to be?
245
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:42,614
I am upset.
246
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,529
And you should eat
something first.
247
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,488
You'll need your strength
for what lies ahead.
248
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,229
Women looking for miracles,
249
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:51,493
and men unable to give them.
250
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,451
When will you learn, Larry.
251
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:54,888
Pussies don't get pussy.
252
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,846
Love is a
battlefield, Richard.
253
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:59,153
And this soldier
has lost the war.
254
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:00,328
Nu uh.
255
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,809
The battle is over
when I say it's over.
256
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:06,638
You really think I have
a chance with Iris?
257
00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,423
Fuck Iris.
258
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:11,034
I prefer the term
"go for ice cream".
259
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:15,647
That's it...
260
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,693
Steal support...
261
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,173
Win votes...
262
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,435
Blow shit up...
263
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,002
I never said any of that.
264
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:24,134
Then I'll say it
for you, Rumpcrunch.
265
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:27,224
Two words-- mother
fucking holy war.
266
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:28,617
That's four words.
267
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:30,793
Yeah.
It worked in Iraq.
268
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:32,099
It worked in Afghanistan.
269
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,666
And tomorrow,
it's gonna work for me.
270
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,982
Get your jihadist
asses out here!
271
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,462
Who is dead now?
272
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:48,985
Or perhaps you
wish to subject us
273
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,770
to more racial stereotypes.
274
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,989
What the fuck, Josh?
No.
275
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,861
I just need you to help me
blow up a church.
276
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,688
Wicked.
On it, Buddy.
277
00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:57,994
What about our holy oath
278
00:12:57,994 --> 00:12:59,387
to not help him with
his plans anymore?
279
00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:00,649
Oh right.
280
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:01,955
Solidarity, Cousin.
281
00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:03,173
You are no cousin of mine.
282
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:04,522
Look, you don't like me,
283
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:06,046
and I sure as hell
don't like you.
284
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,395
But there's a bigger
threat out there.
285
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,092
Godzilla.
286
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:12,269
No, my family is carpet bombing
your customers and my voters.
287
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:13,836
We've got to take them down.
288
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:16,317
Two birds.
One bomb.
289
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,058
Sales have declined.
290
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,799
Joining forces with
our mortal enemy
291
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,105
may be the solution we need.
292
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:24,020
This is the Soviets
all over again...
293
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:27,415
I am not going on that stage
294
00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:30,505
until I get a new pillow, lip
balm, and my theater tickets.
295
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:33,421
And by the way, why are there
no towels in my change room?
296
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:36,685
I can't work under
these conditions...
297
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:38,252
What a fucking prima donna.
298
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,644
She gets that from you!
299
00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:42,082
Divide and conquer, dipshit.
300
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:44,171
What the fuck have you
been doing all day?
301
00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:45,781
Do you know how long it
takes to adjust the lighting
302
00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:48,610
so people don't think she's
the fucking antichrist?
303
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,568
You take care of
the little slut bucket.
304
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:51,874
Hello?
305
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,833
I'm trying to keep cock snot's
306
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,747
sticky little fingers
out of our pot.
307
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:59,099
Complaining about
our demon spawn.
308
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,841
This is so "us".
[laughs]
309
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:02,929
Don't worry
about this shit, Lainey.
310
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:04,756
This shit will
work itself out.
311
00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:06,628
We're winners, you and me.
312
00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:08,238
And we're back in the green.
313
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,457
And by the way...
314
00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:11,024
Don't get me started
about the audience.
315
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:12,895
Who vets these people?
316
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,375
- Burn, infidel!
- How did all the fatties
end up down front?
317
00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:22,513
What kind of retard forgets
to light a Molotov cocktail?
318
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:23,906
You idiot!
319
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:26,039
Where did you go to
terrorist school?
320
00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:27,605
Hey!
He didn't.
321
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,912
I do have a Bachelor
in Fine Arts.
322
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:32,132
Cut him some slack.
It's his first holy war.
323
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,395
As usual, I've got to
do everything myself.
324
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,095
Come one, come all!
325
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:40,880
To see the real miracle!
326
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,969
Why worship the resurrected,
327
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,362
when you can worship,
and vote for,
328
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:46,755
the RESURRECTOR!
329
00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:49,410
And get free cars.
330
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:52,369
For a reasonable
monetary donation.
331
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,805
That snakey fuck.
332
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,156
See the man responsible
333
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:58,332
for raising the bearded
lady from the dead!
334
00:14:58,332 --> 00:14:59,550
Fuck you!
335
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,422
I do not have a beard!
336
00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:03,119
Yes you do!
337
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:05,426
Come back and
worship my daughter!
338
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:09,691
You want to believe
in something?
339
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,911
I'll tell you what
to believe in--
340
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,348
Richard Fitzpatrick
for City Council!
341
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,959
No!
342
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:20,136
There shall be no
other gods except me!
343
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,877
Especially not my
stupid brother!
344
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:25,663
Come on, you guys!
345
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,056
This is dealing with him?
346
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:29,667
You always were too
soft on these kids.
347
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,888
Don't worry, hot stuff -
I got this.
348
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:40,983
You!
349
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:43,594
No, dear god. No.
350
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:46,293
Please just make it quick.
351
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:47,598
Relax.
352
00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:49,383
My shithead kid is
messing up my scam
353
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:50,950
with my other shithead kid.
354
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,299
You're the only one
that can talk sense
355
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:53,778
into that ass baby.
356
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,737
I want you to go over there
and do it now.
357
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:58,044
I can't help you.
358
00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:59,219
I can't help anyone.
359
00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:01,264
I can't even help myself.
360
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:03,310
What's with the pity
party, fuck face?
361
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,312
It's no one.
362
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:09,925
Just a sweet angel who took my
heart in her delicate fingers,
363
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:13,146
and then ravaged it like
a Polynesian cannibal.
364
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:14,582
And I don't even know why.
365
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:15,757
I'll tell you why.
366
00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:18,673
You're a spineless
yes man to a dirtbag.
367
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:20,240
What woman wants that?
368
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,763
You're right.
369
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:24,070
And you know what else?
370
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,376
[whispers]
I killed a bird.
371
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,813
No wonder Iris
finds me repulsive.
372
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,685
Oh.
A dead bird.
373
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:31,555
That's the reason.
374
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:32,687
I know.
375
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:33,949
Look, Nancy--It's Larry.
376
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:35,559
Look, Nancy, grow a set.
377
00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:37,126
It's time you took a stand.
378
00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:39,650
Call bullshit when it stinks.
379
00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:43,002
Yeah, it's my responsibility
to show the public
380
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,004
that Richard isn't
what he says he is...
381
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,701
that there are no such
things as miracles...
382
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,137
Make it quick, Slim Jim.
383
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:50,574
I've got a fake
church to salvage.
384
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:51,880
Good talk.
385
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,536
Vodka.
Make it snappy.
386
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,369
My sister was dead.
387
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,806
And at her grave,
388
00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:08,418
I asked the Lord
to return her.
389
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:09,985
For she was innocent.
390
00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:15,295
Unstable, yes,
unattractive, yes,
391
00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:17,123
but she was innocent.
392
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:21,301
And I felt something
surge through me
393
00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:24,391
as I touched my dead sister.
394
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,783
[audience groaning]
395
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:29,048
No!
It was the Lord's power.
396
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,616
Blessed be Jesus,
zombie maker.
397
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:34,009
We talked about this.
398
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,358
She's not a zombie.
399
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:36,968
It was the cannabis.
400
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:41,321
Praised be to the
blue eyed devil, Fitz!
401
00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:45,107
Anyway, vote Fitz,
and when I'm in office,
402
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:50,069
I'll resurrect anyone
and anything you desire.
403
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,201
Are you sure about that?
404
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:55,552
Yes, that's why all these
good people are here today.
405
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:56,988
Am I right?
406
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,165
Then resurrect this--
407
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,123
Titmouse.
408
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,342
That's right!
409
00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:03,995
A dead bird.
410
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:08,174
Surely no match for
the resurrector.
411
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,306
I'm calling bull...
412
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:13,788
poop that smells, Mister.
413
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,094
What the fuck are you doing?
414
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,140
Taking a stand and
telling everyone here
415
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,578
that he faked his own
sister's death.
416
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:23,885
[gasps]
417
00:18:23,885 --> 00:18:26,670
Hey, where you going?
Come back!
418
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:27,932
What happened, Richard?
419
00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:30,631
What happened to
the Last Honest Man?
420
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:33,068
[gasp]
Ice cream!
421
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:35,418
[♪]
422
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:36,854
Ice cream!
423
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:49,998
Problem solved, Baby...
424
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:55,395
It's not what it looks like.
425
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,528
Fuck, Lainey.
426
00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,182
The gay mafia's after me.
427
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,792
I need this cash.
428
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,839
I can't go find some
rich fuck like you.
429
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:07,798
All I got is my sparkling
personality and this scam.
430
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,757
And me.
431
00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:11,454
I wasn't going to take you.
432
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,804
But I rose from the dead!
433
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,110
You said this was our thing.
434
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:16,938
You said if I helped
hide this from Mom--
435
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,641
The little shit was
right about you!
436
00:19:30,647 --> 00:19:31,996
Fuck.
437
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,739
Lainey!
438
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,879
Go get me a scotch.
439
00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:45,967
Fuck you.
440
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:48,187
All of you.
441
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,667
From this moment forward,
I am emancipating myself
442
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,583
from this family!
443
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:55,194
Now that's a fucking miracle.
444
00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:06,857
[humming happily]
445
00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:27,400
♪ [music playing]
446
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,402
You think I'm going to roll
over for you, Chester?
447
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:33,275
You think I don't know that
leadership requires sacrifice?
448
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,059
You think I wouldn't be
able to bury people alive
449
00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:37,192
to ensure the survival
of my country?
450
00:20:37,192 --> 00:20:40,848
I know that sometimes you have
to chop someone's head off!
451
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:42,284
I'm just as tough as Idi Amin.
452
00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:45,113
I'm just as tough as any
of those motherfuckers!
453
00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:50,814
[crying]
454
00:20:52,860 --> 00:21:02,478
[crying]
455
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,657
Ow... ow...
456
00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:17,319
[sigh]
457
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:20,496
It's over for good
this time, Roger.
458
00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,193
May I call you Roger?
459
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,243
Iris--
460
00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:29,984
Don't speak.
461
00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:35,685
I'm sorry I ran away before.
462
00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:37,296
Things are complicated.
463
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,081
But so what, right?
464
00:21:40,081 --> 00:21:42,170
Tell that to the titmouse.
465
00:21:44,912 --> 00:21:48,350
I would like to go
for ice cream with you.
466
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,570
So much ice cream.
467
00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:52,093
I would like to go
for ice cream with you
468
00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:53,921
more than you
could ever imagine.
469
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:03,757
I told Richard
miracles don't happen
470
00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:06,977
but this is a miracle.
471
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,633
Oh, Iris--
472
00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:14,202
There is just one
thing I need to do.
473
00:22:14,202 --> 00:22:16,900
I know, Larry.
474
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,989
Would you just... Thanks.
475
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:29,435
This is Melody Gray reporting
live outside City Hall.
476
00:22:29,435 --> 00:22:33,830
Exit polls show Chester Vince
with a commanding lead.
477
00:22:33,830 --> 00:22:35,876
No doubt this is in
response to this reporter's
478
00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:38,357
shocking exposé
of local lothario
479
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:39,967
and rumored polygamist
cult leader,
480
00:22:39,967 --> 00:22:42,404
Richard Fitzpatrick.
481
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,058
The dream is dead, Fitz.
482
00:22:47,191 --> 00:22:49,237
Josh, how many times
do I have to tell you,
483
00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:51,108
a bookstore is not
a strip club.
484
00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:52,762
Larry paid me to
bring you here.
485
00:22:52,762 --> 00:22:54,024
In coffee.
486
00:22:54,024 --> 00:22:55,939
I got nothing to say
to that backstabber.
487
00:22:55,939 --> 00:22:58,464
There are miracles, Richard.
488
00:22:58,464 --> 00:23:00,291
There are.
489
00:23:00,291 --> 00:23:01,292
Iris came back to me.
490
00:23:01,292 --> 00:23:02,946
Good.
491
00:23:02,946 --> 00:23:06,428
That makes up for the shit
storm you turned my life into.
492
00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:07,516
I know you're upset.
493
00:23:07,516 --> 00:23:08,822
And, as your conscience,
494
00:23:08,822 --> 00:23:10,563
I feel you deserve
one last shot.
495
00:23:10,563 --> 00:23:12,913
And I deserve a coffee.
496
00:23:12,913 --> 00:23:14,393
We may be down in the polls. Broke.
497
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:16,525
And have lost the holy war.
498
00:23:16,525 --> 00:23:18,527
But there is one thing
you have not tried.
499
00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:20,181
The pumpkin scones.
500
00:23:20,181 --> 00:23:22,009
They're amazing.
501
00:23:22,009 --> 00:23:23,793
Prayer.
502
00:23:23,793 --> 00:23:25,273
Fuck off, Larry.
503
00:23:25,273 --> 00:23:27,188
All that faith crap
was just bullshit.
504
00:23:27,188 --> 00:23:28,537
Since you're banned from...
505
00:23:28,537 --> 00:23:29,843
every church in town,
506
00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:31,410
I thought we could try
the theology section.
507
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:34,978
Still holy and
thirty percent off.
508
00:23:34,978 --> 00:23:37,372
Please Richard,
one little prayer.
509
00:23:37,372 --> 00:23:40,331
How can it hurt?
510
00:23:40,331 --> 00:23:43,422
I'll buy you a coffee.
511
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:46,686
Fine. Tall half skinny one
percent extra hot split
512
00:23:46,686 --> 00:23:48,818
quad shot half sweet
caramel macchiato.
513
00:23:48,818 --> 00:23:51,647
No whip.
Okay, whip.
514
00:23:51,647 --> 00:23:53,649
- Chocolate sprinkles?
- I'm not gay.
515
00:23:56,870 --> 00:23:58,959
After all, how can
this city be expected
516
00:23:58,959 --> 00:24:01,570
to trust a councillor who
can't even make good
517
00:24:01,570 --> 00:24:04,486
on a promise
to resurrect a dead bird?
518
00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:06,096
And with the polls
about to close,
519
00:24:06,096 --> 00:24:08,055
this reporter is confident
520
00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:10,536
in declaring Chester Vince
the winner.
521
00:24:10,536 --> 00:24:11,972
We'll see about that.
522
00:24:22,199 --> 00:24:24,114
Hey, God.
523
00:24:24,114 --> 00:24:25,551
It's me, Fitz.
524
00:24:25,551 --> 00:24:27,335
I need to speak to Frank.
525
00:24:28,423 --> 00:24:32,166
Uh... hey, Frank.
526
00:24:32,166 --> 00:24:36,387
I don't know if you're
listening, but how you doin'?
527
00:24:36,387 --> 00:24:38,433
Hope that bus crash with
the cheerleaders last week
528
00:24:38,433 --> 00:24:41,654
spiced the party up a bit,
know what I mean?
529
00:24:41,654 --> 00:24:43,873
Fuck, I don't know
what I mean.
530
00:24:46,397 --> 00:24:49,009
Fuck, Frank.
531
00:24:49,009 --> 00:24:52,055
A guy needs a break
once in a while, you know?
532
00:24:52,055 --> 00:24:55,102
Cold streak's gotta end.
533
00:24:55,102 --> 00:24:58,540
I'm a good guy...
534
00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:01,543
Look, here's the thing.
535
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:03,458
I'm having a kid.
536
00:25:03,458 --> 00:25:05,808
...And I don't want
the little fucker
537
00:25:05,808 --> 00:25:08,855
to think I'm a loser
like my old man.
538
00:25:08,855 --> 00:25:12,554
I got to win this
fucking election.
539
00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:13,816
Throw me a bone,
will ya, Frank?
540
00:25:13,816 --> 00:25:15,252
Fitz?
541
00:25:15,252 --> 00:25:16,950
Oh, and...
542
00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:19,779
If you could you make sure
he's got a decent head of hair.
543
00:25:19,779 --> 00:25:22,259
No tail.
544
00:25:22,259 --> 00:25:23,870
Amen.
545
00:25:26,655 --> 00:25:35,490
[♪]
546
00:25:35,490 --> 00:25:37,100
Good enough.
547
00:25:37,100 --> 00:25:40,582
[♪]
548
00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:44,107
This is Melody Gray reporting
live outside City Hall.
549
00:25:44,107 --> 00:25:46,936
And I am getting the
official announcement now...
550
00:25:46,936 --> 00:25:49,025
You've got to be
fucking kidding me.
551
00:25:49,025 --> 00:25:50,679
Richard Fitzpatrick won?
552
00:25:50,679 --> 00:25:53,073
Ha ha!
That's right, Fuckers!
553
00:25:53,073 --> 00:25:54,204
Fitz won!
554
00:25:54,204 --> 00:25:55,858
And I won it for him!
555
00:25:55,858 --> 00:25:57,643
Woo hoo!
556
00:25:57,643 --> 00:26:00,602
Suck it, Coverton!
Suck it hard!
557
00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:02,735
Yeah!
558
00:26:02,735 --> 00:26:22,276
[♪]
37992
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof