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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:20,281 Previously on Call Me Fitz... 2 00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:22,065 Thanks to you, Edith Kinkman, 3 00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,675 president of the Coverton's Ladies Auxilary, 4 00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:25,068 the most powerful women's group in town, 5 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,417 is dead. 6 00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:27,940 Think of the good times, 7 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:29,638 like that moment of happiness seven months ago 8 00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:31,074 when you and Richard... 9 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,471 OH MY GOODNESS! 10 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,734 You win the election, you make me City Manager. 11 00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:40,214 Yeah, but that's the job those drones 12 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:42,172 give their old war buddies - their friends. 13 00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,608 Well, that makes rule one easier, 14 00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:45,045 because friends don't sleep with friends' friends. 15 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,394 Or their enemies. 16 00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:47,960 You locked Coverton's most prominent journalist 17 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,353 in the trunk of a car? 18 00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:51,312 My article is finished 19 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:53,140 and so is your political career! 20 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:56,404 You sent Melody's car to the crusher! 21 00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,232 For fuck sake, put her down! 22 00:00:58,232 --> 00:00:59,885 If you have a chance of winning this election, 23 00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,496 it's by doing the same thing 24 00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:02,758 that got you here in the first place. 25 00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:04,064 Being yourself! 26 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,023 I'm gonna own up to every scandal, 27 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:10,070 every bad thing I've ever done. 28 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,202 Because I'm Richard Fitzpatrick, 29 00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:14,509 the last honest man. 30 00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:19,514 [♪] 31 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:20,863 Honesty. 32 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:23,213 Who fucking knew? 33 00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:24,954 Two weeks before the election, 34 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:27,087 and everything is coming up Fitz. 35 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,784 Everyone loves me: 36 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:33,136 The unwed mothers looking for a little support- 37 00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,877 The small business owners 38 00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:37,401 trying to earn an honest buck- 39 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,142 The civil liberties crowd. 40 00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:41,666 These are my people- 41 00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,364 The immoral majority. 42 00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:46,323 And I, Richard Fucking Fitzpatrick, 43 00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:49,196 owe it to them to tell it like it is... 44 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,502 I'm riding this honesty bullshit 45 00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:53,113 all the way to City Hall. 46 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,249 The whole truth and nothing but. 47 00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,643 That is what I promise you. 48 00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:06,126 Why? Because I am the last honest man. 49 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,652 The Summerwind, baby. 50 00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,306 Nothing can stop me now... 51 00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,179 If you're so honest, 52 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:19,051 where have you been the last 25 years, Dad? 53 00:02:21,532 --> 00:03:01,398 [♪] 54 00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:07,491 You can't fool me, kid. 55 00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:08,710 I'm the king of the shakedown. 56 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:09,972 So, cut to the chase. 57 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:11,365 How much to make you go away? 58 00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:12,409 I don't want your money. 59 00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,845 I'm on a full academic scholarship. 60 00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:16,892 Then what do you want? Women? Men? 61 00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:17,980 I'll make some calls. 62 00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,068 I want you to know 63 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,809 the pain you put my Mom through. 64 00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,767 It's not my fault some broad forgot her safe word. 65 00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,595 Is that all Linda O'Neill was to you? 66 00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,118 Some broad? 67 00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:29,121 Linda... Linda... Blonde? 68 00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:30,862 Always asking for rides and money? 69 00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,560 She wanted you to drive her to Planned Parenthood. 70 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:33,865 And cover half the bill. 71 00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:35,171 Right... Miss Clingy. 72 00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:36,738 You ruined her life! 73 00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,348 She had to drop out of school to raise me. 74 00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:39,654 And then you denied my existence. 75 00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,090 I didn't deny it. 76 00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,439 I never knew. 77 00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:43,875 What about all those requests for child support? 78 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,660 Look, this is a misunderstanding. 79 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:46,878 Give me a few days 80 00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,315 and I'll sort this shit out. 81 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,447 You had over twenty-five years to sort it out. 82 00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:52,188 Tomorrow, I tell the world 83 00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:54,364 how honest Richard Fitzpatrick really is. 84 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,238 Fuck. 85 00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:03,243 We've got to shut this little twerp up. 86 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,288 You might not be able to see it right now, 87 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,464 but there is a silver lining to this dark cloud. 88 00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:08,944 What silver lining? 89 00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:11,251 A secret kid kind of undercuts our honesty platform. 90 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,123 Not if Richard honestly didn't know about him- 91 00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,472 I honestly didn't know about him. 92 00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:16,865 And declares publicly 93 00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,693 that he is ready to welcome Barry into his life. 94 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:19,998 I'll declare shit. 95 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,522 I mastered the art of the pullout 96 00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:24,264 long before that little bastard was conceived. 97 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,266 A paternity test will clear this whole mess up. 98 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,703 Or you can become the dad Barry never had 99 00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:30,705 and show the voters that Richard Fitzpatrick 100 00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:32,707 is more than an alcoholic party boy. 101 00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:34,143 He is an alcoholic party boy 102 00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:36,014 slash loving family man! 103 00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:40,845 Dot's idea is easier. 104 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:50,942 It's a Wurlitzer. It's worth forty. 105 00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,728 But I'll let it go for thirty-nine. 106 00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:56,861 Thirty-eight is my final offer. 107 00:04:56,861 --> 00:05:00,865 Thirty-five. Thirty. 108 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,780 Cheap son of a bitch. 109 00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,740 What the fuck are you doing here? 110 00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,394 We can't open Meghan Fitzpatrick Motors 111 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,917 without the secret ingredient. 112 00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:11,267 Meghan Fitzpatrick! 113 00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:12,834 Maybe I wasn't clear about the arrangement. 114 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,792 You'll be a silent partner, 115 00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:16,533 emphasis on "shut the fuck up." 116 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,187 But you said that you needed me. 117 00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,231 That you should have partnered with me 118 00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:20,537 instead of Richard. 119 00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:21,712 That I've always secretly been your favorite. 120 00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:23,323 I never said any of that. 121 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,063 I'll tell you one thing you did say- 122 00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:26,674 Go play in traffic? 123 00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:30,982 The only people you can trust are family. 124 00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,419 One day, Daddy, 125 00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:35,335 you're going to want a real relationship with me... 126 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,815 or at least someone to change your adult diaper. 127 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,600 And what are you going to do if I'm gone? 128 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,079 Dance a fucking jig. 129 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:50,350 Look at this place, Richard. 130 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,353 Impressionable youngsters yearning for learning, 131 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,659 we should 'Rock the Vote!' 132 00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:57,835 I'd like to teach her somethin'. 133 00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:03,580 Hey darlin', would you like to earn some extra credit? 134 00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,843 Actually, a lot of credit. 135 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,671 Wow, you made a sexual euphemism 136 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:08,803 out of a simple sentence. 137 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,370 That was so smart. 138 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,545 I bet it impresses all the ladies 139 00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:13,285 down at the assisted living facility. 140 00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,635 This guy bothering you, Natalie? 141 00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:15,897 And now here's Barry 142 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,289 with his outdated ideas of gender roles. 143 00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:18,813 I was only trying to help. 144 00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:20,205 Oh, Barry, please defend my honor 145 00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:21,903 by kicking grandpa's pervy ass. 146 00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:23,034 While I kick yours 147 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,427 by winning the Felcher Watt. 148 00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:25,820 You kiss your mother with that mouth? 149 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,256 If so, can I watch? 150 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,433 What are you doing here? 151 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:33,218 [gasp] Is that...? 152 00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:34,655 Oh, look at you two. A spitting image. 153 00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,047 He has your eyes. 154 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:38,398 Guys! Cheese! 155 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,356 Who's the creepy uncle? 156 00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:43,098 I'm a very important part of your father's life. 157 00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:44,578 Alleged father. 158 00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:46,318 And I brought him here for some long overdue bonding. 159 00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:47,929 With baseball mittens! 160 00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:50,279 Guys? Maybe later. 161 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:51,802 What is this, a photo-op? 162 00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:53,717 Some lame attempt at political spin? 163 00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,197 I'll level with you, Kid. 164 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,503 We came here to steal a DNA sample off you 165 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:57,939 to prove you're not a Fitz. 166 00:06:57,939 --> 00:06:59,506 Classy guy. 167 00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,421 You want my DNA? 168 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,857 A travel toothbrush? 169 00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,467 I told you he's not mine. 170 00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,208 What do I get? 171 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:08,515 Barry, I promise you, 172 00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,299 if this test proves Richard is your father, 173 00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:12,997 he will make a public apology to you and your Mom- 174 00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,434 Since fucking when? 175 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,870 As long as you give him a chance to prove 176 00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,654 he's not the heartless narcissistic 177 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,569 womanizing predator your mother made him out to be. 178 00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,313 Let's get it over with. 179 00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:26,184 Twenty-five years I've waited for this moment. 180 00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:27,621 To give me a used toothbrush? 181 00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,536 To ruin your life 182 00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:32,147 as much as you ruined mine. 183 00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,322 How many deadbeat dads 184 00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:34,932 do you think get elected to city council? 185 00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,891 That's so cute. Now let's go bond, you guys! 186 00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:41,025 Bond! Bond! 187 00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,723 Mechanic! 188 00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:44,115 The carburetor in that Civic 189 00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:46,204 still chokes the engine like the leash 190 00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,598 of western imperialism chokes our homeland. 191 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,208 Kind of busy here, guys. 192 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,862 This has been your excuse for many weeks. 193 00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:53,124 What could be more important 194 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:55,257 than customer service and profits? 195 00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:58,695 How about the fate of the free world, assholes? 196 00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:02,612 [whimpering] 197 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,788 I am concerned for the hairy one. 198 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:07,008 All he does is stare at his mobile device. 199 00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:08,705 We should help him. 200 00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:11,055 Perhaps give him ice cream. 201 00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:13,101 If I learned one thing from my time with Meghan, 202 00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:15,233 it is the mood altering effect of frozen treats. 203 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:18,759 When the camel is lame, we shoot the camel. 204 00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,543 That is our way. 205 00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:22,240 We also eat the camel. 206 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,633 We are Pashtun. 207 00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:25,243 We never depend on outsiders. 208 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,810 Why are you so obsessed 209 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:29,683 with upholding traditions that are clearly ineffective? 210 00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,554 Josh brings much needed capital 211 00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:33,251 to our failing enterprise. 212 00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:36,472 I forbid you from contact with the cadet from space. 213 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:39,562 Eh-eh! Do I make myself clear? 214 00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:41,259 Yes cousin... 215 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,347 Good. 216 00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:53,707 Thanks, sweet knees. 217 00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:55,578 You hang out here? 218 00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:57,537 It's my home away from home. 219 00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,061 Your home must be a real shithole. 220 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,280 Hey! Dot's on her way to the clinic 221 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,718 with your toothbrush and your... 222 00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:06,284 semen sample. 223 00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:08,286 They test DNA off saliva, you know. 224 00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:09,984 I don't want to take any chances. 225 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:12,073 So, Barry, tell us about yourself. 226 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,640 How's school? 227 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,032 Are you dating? 228 00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:19,123 There might be someone... 229 00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:21,082 Girlfriends are for homos. 230 00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:22,605 You're in college. Play the field. 231 00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,041 Experiment. 232 00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,129 Yeah. 233 00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:26,653 Maybe I can experiment 234 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:28,698 with getting some girl pregnant and then ditching her. 235 00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:30,091 Thumbs up. 236 00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:31,614 Holy shit. 237 00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:33,529 It is true. 238 00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:36,097 You actually produced a kid that isn't a mutant. 239 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,620 You're not a mutant, are you? 240 00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:38,969 I'm a scientist. 241 00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,275 Well, la de da. 242 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,669 Call me when you've split the atom, Dr. Freud. 243 00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:44,540 Maybe then I'll be impressed. 244 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,716 Larry, the idea is to not tell the whole fucking world. 245 00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,065 Richard, this is family. 246 00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:49,980 Ken, I'd like you to meet Barry. 247 00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:51,634 Barry, this is Ken. 248 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:54,028 Call him grandpa. 249 00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:56,987 Call me Mr. Fitzpatrick. 250 00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:59,860 Barry, you say you're a scientist? 251 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,905 What field are you working in? 252 00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:04,604 I'm doing my doctorate in medical nanotechnology. 253 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,996 You want my advice? 254 00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:07,519 Not at all. 255 00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:08,912 Fuck that shit. 256 00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:11,001 The real money's in quality pre-owned automobiles. 257 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:13,264 If you're ever looking for a new career... 258 00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,837 What a coccydynia. 259 00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:25,450 It means he's a pain in the ass. 260 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,974 Got that right, kid. 261 00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:28,715 You do have one thing in common. 262 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,368 You both hate your biological fathers! 263 00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,935 Fuck off, Larry. 264 00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,683 Take a number. 265 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,367 Dot... Foxley, isn't it? 266 00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,021 Mmmm. 267 00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:15,065 Ali Devon. 268 00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:21,681 You've been waiting long? 269 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,117 Just got here. 270 00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:28,383 So... 271 00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:31,299 Oh. Genetic compatibility testing. 272 00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:32,648 Oh. 273 00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,868 Well, I... 274 00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:37,000 hope you pass. 275 00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:43,311 Cut the crap, Foxley. 276 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:44,834 What are you really doing here? 277 00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:51,188 This may find this hard for you to believe, Devon, 278 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:54,583 but the entire world doesn't revolve around you. 279 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:55,976 You think you're the only one who can throw her legs open 280 00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,065 and let someone poke her uterus? 281 00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,370 Oh poor Dot, 282 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:00,894 she couldn't possibly balance 283 00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:02,286 marriage and a vibrant personal life 284 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:03,635 with a career and motherhood. 285 00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:04,636 She'll never have it all. 286 00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:06,334 Not like you. 287 00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,466 But you've got it all figured out, don't you? 288 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:10,773 I guess you're Miss Perfect. 289 00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:13,689 No wonder everyone loves Ali Devon. 290 00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,256 Well, let me tell you something, sis-- 291 00:12:15,256 --> 00:12:17,040 [chime rings] 292 00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:29,009 Wow. 293 00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:31,751 Your dad made you fish your mom's diaphragm 294 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,187 out of the toilet? 295 00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,711 Worst Easter ever. 296 00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:38,235 Here you go... "Son." 297 00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:39,541 Thanks... "Dad." 298 00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:40,934 [laughs] 299 00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,849 What's wrong with you, fuck sock? 300 00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:45,329 Are you drunk or something? 301 00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,767 Drunk on this growing love connection. 302 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,507 Are you some kind of emotional parasite? 303 00:12:49,507 --> 00:12:51,248 A monkey! 304 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:52,815 Hey, little fella... 305 00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:54,208 What's his name? 306 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,644 Magic. Just leave him alone. 307 00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:57,864 Natalie doesn't like people playing with her baboon. 308 00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,518 You share this place with That Bitch Natalie? 309 00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:02,172 She's not that bad. 310 00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:03,434 Hey, buddy. 311 00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:04,958 Anyway, here's where I've spent 312 00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:06,611 the last five years of my life, 313 00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:09,136 perfecting my research. 314 00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:10,702 On how not to get laid? 315 00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:14,315 No... Suspended in this liquid 316 00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:16,404 are millions of nanobots. 317 00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:21,931 Microscopic robots that work in unison 318 00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:24,151 to help humanity. 319 00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,980 When I prove they can prevent acid reflux, 320 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:29,852 I'm a shooin for the Felcher Watt Fellowship. 321 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:32,376 If Natalie doesn't beat me to it. 322 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:33,638 The Felcher what? 323 00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:34,770 You've heard of it? 324 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,554 Sure, totally. 325 00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:37,860 Barry, that's so impressive. 326 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,427 Isn't that right, Magic? 327 00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,385 Yes it is. 328 00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:44,954 Isn't there already a cure for acid reflux? 329 00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:46,913 It's not the cure that matters, 330 00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,523 it's the nanotechnology. 331 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:50,264 If I win the grant, 332 00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:53,310 it'll pay my way through another decade of research. 333 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:56,836 Fucking the system out of money? 334 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,620 That's my boy. 335 00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,883 This career is what my mother always wanted for me. 336 00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,885 I just hope I don't disappoint her. 337 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,887 So long as you try your best, 338 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:07,324 Richard and I will always be proud of you. 339 00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:09,196 Quit gaying up the joint, Larry. 340 00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:12,547 This calls for a toast. 341 00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:15,506 No thank you, designated driver. 342 00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,769 More for me and Barry. 343 00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,902 Barry - seeing what you've done here 344 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:22,426 makes me so glad I may or may not 345 00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,951 have avoided driving your mom to the abortion clinic. 346 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:28,563 Me too. 347 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:30,217 Giddyup. 348 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,871 Richard! That's not alcohol! 349 00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:34,917 My nanobots? 350 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,266 [belch] 351 00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:38,703 Five years of research 352 00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,488 down your intestinal tract? 353 00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:41,968 No great loss. [belch] 354 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:43,099 They don't work very well. 355 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,190 [groans] 356 00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:54,632 [stomach gurlges] 357 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:57,113 Richard, this isn't how you should deal with your guilt. 358 00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:58,810 You made a mistake. Now it's time to fix it. 359 00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,334 What guilt? 360 00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,249 Dot's on her way to the paternity lab for the results. 361 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,512 Whether Barry is your biological son or not, 362 00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:06,296 he needs you now more than ever. 363 00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:07,428 You have to help him out. 364 00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:08,951 It's the responsible thing to do. 365 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,387 You help him. 366 00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,954 You're the one who thought I could be a good father. 367 00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,695 Which means you're the one who fucked up here. 368 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,479 Nice work, ass crust! 369 00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,959 You know how bad it feels 370 00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:18,656 when your father lets you down. 371 00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:20,441 Remember in middle school 372 00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,138 when you and Josh tried to cut an album? 373 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:24,662 And then Ken "accidentally" taped over it 374 00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:26,490 and never did anything to apologize. 375 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:27,709 That drunk asshole. 376 00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,145 But you're not Ken. 377 00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:31,104 You don't wallow in pity over your mistakes. 378 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:32,453 You take responsibility for your actions. 379 00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:33,933 Since when? 380 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,021 Since you became Richard Fitzpatrick, 381 00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:37,284 the last honest man. 382 00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:38,589 Fuck. 383 00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:41,157 You got bolt cutters? 384 00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:43,159 I believe I do. 385 00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:46,728 Nothing says sorry, kid 386 00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:48,512 like some old fashioned sabotage. 387 00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:49,949 Just a thought. 388 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,298 Maybe breaking and entering 389 00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,821 isn't the solution to all of life's problems. 390 00:15:52,821 --> 00:15:54,040 It's not, Larry. But sabotage is. 391 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,650 Destroying That Bitch Natalie's research 392 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:57,304 will level the playing field. 393 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:05,747 Okay, little buddy. Fuck off. 394 00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:10,186 What's the matter with you, huh? 395 00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,188 Who knew a medical test animal would be too sick to move? 396 00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,798 I've got just the thing to perk him up. 397 00:16:13,798 --> 00:16:15,148 You can't give him your drugs. 398 00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:17,193 Relax, Larry. I didn't pay for 'em. 399 00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:18,412 There you go, buddy. 400 00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,587 Come on... 401 00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,198 Go on, take it. 402 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:29,684 [grunting] 403 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,773 Merry Christmas, Barry. 404 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,696 Josh? 405 00:16:41,696 --> 00:16:44,742 I have brought you a treat. 406 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,396 Something to cheer you up. 407 00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,315 No! No! 408 00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:55,536 I assure you, 409 00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:56,711 there will not be seventy virgins 410 00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:58,930 awaiting you in paradise. 411 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,890 What are you talking about? 412 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,718 God does not approve of committing suicide... 413 00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,328 without an explosion. 414 00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,026 This isn't suicide. 415 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,289 This is Optimo Primo. 416 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:12,857 The car that turns into a bong. 417 00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:15,860 When I saw you, I thought the worst. 418 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:19,386 I'm just having one of those days. 419 00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,691 A Wednesday? 420 00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:23,912 No! You know those days when you wake up 421 00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:26,088 and realize Fitz has cut you out of his campaign, 422 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:29,483 and you're still waiting for a call from your handler, 423 00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:31,920 and you start wondering if you even have a purpose in life. 424 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,269 I have never woken up in the morning 425 00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:34,705 and thought those things. 426 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,316 Whenever I'm down, Fitzie always blazes one with me 427 00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:39,101 and helps put my problems into perspective. 428 00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:43,366 Would you? 429 00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:46,021 If Cousin ever found out... 430 00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:49,764 [engine revs] 431 00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:50,852 Very well. 432 00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:52,549 Really? 433 00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:53,811 Yes! 434 00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,074 Optimo Primo assemble! 435 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:58,120 [makes machine noises] 436 00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:01,428 You gonna get in or what? 437 00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:02,777 C'mon, c'mon! 438 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:15,790 What the hell are you doing? 439 00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,140 Shredding the competition's research. 440 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,099 It's not the most ethical way to help, 441 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,492 but Richard wants you to achieve your dreams. 442 00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:24,190 And you're welcome. 443 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:25,713 You idiots! 444 00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:28,150 All you've done is ruin my chances 445 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,109 with the one thing I actually wanted. 446 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:33,155 A paternal bond with your biological father? 447 00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:35,288 No, you mental defective. 448 00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:36,985 You think it's a coincidence 449 00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:39,509 I happen to run into Natalie around campus? 450 00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:41,772 Set up a desk in her lab? 451 00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:43,905 You're stalking That Bitch Natalie? 452 00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:46,342 I told you we just had to get him laid. 453 00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:49,389 Where'd the baboon go? 454 00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:51,739 Do I look like his social secretary? 455 00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:53,175 He ran out the door. 456 00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,916 That's the last we saw of him. I'm sure he's fine. 457 00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:57,484 He's HIV positive. He's dying. 458 00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:58,789 Dying to party. 459 00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:00,400 I gave him a little pick me up. 460 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,228 Sildenafil Citrate. 461 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,578 You gave him erectile dysfunction medication? 462 00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,667 I don't need it. It just enhance my pleasure. 463 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:09,191 We have to get him back! 464 00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:15,197 [coughs] 465 00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:17,765 This ice cream is so delicious. 466 00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:19,636 Triple fudge. 467 00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:22,422 Everything should be tripled. 468 00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,728 Cousin would think it decadent. 469 00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:26,904 He and his fatwas. 470 00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:28,515 It's always here a fatwa. 471 00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:30,081 There a Fatwa. 472 00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:31,257 Everywhere a fatwa. 473 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:34,129 [laughter] 474 00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,739 I gotta tell you something. 475 00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:38,220 But promise you'll keep this between us. 476 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:42,006 Star and crescent my heart. 477 00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,880 I have a secret past. 478 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,447 I've been under cover for years. 479 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,275 Operation Blackout. 480 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,059 I'm a sleeper agent. 481 00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:52,408 Special Forces. 482 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:53,757 Sweet... 483 00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:55,498 I was reactivated, 484 00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:57,152 then told to "hold position." 485 00:19:57,152 --> 00:19:58,675 My C.O. hasn't called since. 486 00:19:58,675 --> 00:20:00,634 I don't know if HQ was hit, 487 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:01,809 if the mission's been cancelled - 488 00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:05,247 or if they're going to cancel me. 489 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,379 With extreme prejudice. 490 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,773 The mass of your predicaments 491 00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:12,080 is indeed quite heavy. 492 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,603 But all that matters 493 00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,344 is that when the time comes, 494 00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:17,259 you'll be ready. 495 00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:18,826 Yeah... 496 00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,654 triple ready. 497 00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:22,351 You just need the phone to ring. 498 00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:25,702 [phone rings] 499 00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:27,269 BOTH: Whoa. 500 00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:33,057 Yeah, yeah. 501 00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,366 Agent McTaggart. 502 00:20:37,366 --> 00:20:38,759 Josh, I need you to come to campus 503 00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:40,761 and take down an AIDS monkey. 504 00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:44,373 Is it the call? 505 00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,245 Close enough. 506 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,377 Rock on, my friend. 507 00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:51,772 Or may I call you - cousin from another race? 508 00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:54,731 Yeah! 509 00:20:57,647 --> 00:20:59,214 Good afternoon, everyone. 510 00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:00,694 I have a quick announcement. 511 00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:03,174 If any of you run into a monkey 512 00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:04,915 that answers to the name of Magic... 513 00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:07,440 ...Please contact campus security immediately. 514 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,442 Do not approach him under any circumstances. 515 00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:11,400 If he tries to approach you, just say no. 516 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,575 Then go. And tell. 517 00:21:12,575 --> 00:21:13,968 What the fuck did you do? 518 00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:15,970 Good, you heard. Saves us a trip. 519 00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:18,929 We kind of accidentally let your monkey escape. 520 00:21:18,929 --> 00:21:21,018 Magic's a baboon, you hydrocephalic. 521 00:21:21,018 --> 00:21:22,629 As for you, you sabotaging son of a bitch... 522 00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:23,847 It wasn't me, I swear. 523 00:21:23,847 --> 00:21:25,066 He's telling the truth. 524 00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:26,241 Totally. It was Larry. 525 00:21:26,241 --> 00:21:27,677 I don't give a fuck what happened, okay? 526 00:21:27,677 --> 00:21:29,853 I've got five years of my life invested in Magic. 527 00:21:29,853 --> 00:21:32,987 So find him or I'm turning you into my test subjects, okay? 528 00:21:32,987 --> 00:21:35,250 Relax. I've got my best guy on it. 529 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:36,425 [screaming] 530 00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:38,035 Take it easy, people! 531 00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:40,037 It's just one AIDS monkey! No need to panic! 532 00:21:40,037 --> 00:21:42,562 It's not like there's a herd of AIDS monkeys or... 533 00:21:42,562 --> 00:21:44,433 Oh, I get it. 534 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:50,352 No, that's not it. 535 00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:54,182 High ground... 536 00:21:54,182 --> 00:21:55,879 Perfect. 537 00:22:00,493 --> 00:22:07,326 [loud grunting] 538 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,762 I promise I will make this right. 539 00:22:08,762 --> 00:22:10,241 You probably planned this whole thing. 540 00:22:10,241 --> 00:22:11,765 Holy fuck, it's a monkey! 541 00:22:11,765 --> 00:22:13,244 Whatever you do, don't look him in the eye! 542 00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:15,246 He'll feel threatened and he will fuck you in the ear. 543 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:22,732 [screaming] 544 00:22:22,732 --> 00:22:24,386 Go get Magic's travel cage now! 545 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:25,909 Richard, do you have any more of those pills? 546 00:22:25,909 --> 00:22:27,258 He seemed to like those. 547 00:22:27,258 --> 00:22:28,477 He won't trust you. 548 00:22:28,477 --> 00:22:29,696 At least I didn't give him AIDS. 549 00:22:29,696 --> 00:22:31,001 Just go grab him, numbnuts. 550 00:22:31,001 --> 00:22:33,308 Come on, little guy! 551 00:22:33,308 --> 00:22:35,310 Here, AIDS monkey. 552 00:22:35,310 --> 00:22:37,007 Here, AIDS monkey...! 553 00:22:37,007 --> 00:22:39,445 Here, AIDS monkey...! 554 00:22:39,445 --> 00:22:42,404 Come here, little buddy! 555 00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,319 Target acquired. 556 00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:51,631 [loud shot] 557 00:22:51,631 --> 00:22:53,110 Hey... 558 00:22:53,110 --> 00:22:54,851 Oh My God! 559 00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:55,983 A SHOOTER! 560 00:22:55,983 --> 00:22:57,463 Don't get your tits in a knot. 561 00:22:57,463 --> 00:22:58,594 It's only a tranq gun. 562 00:22:58,594 --> 00:23:00,030 So that makes it ok? 563 00:23:00,030 --> 00:23:01,205 God, Natalie. 564 00:23:01,205 --> 00:23:02,468 No wonder everyone thinks you're a bitch. 565 00:23:13,043 --> 00:23:15,132 I think I owe you an apology. 566 00:23:15,132 --> 00:23:17,221 For what? 567 00:23:17,221 --> 00:23:19,963 I was being paranoid. 568 00:23:19,963 --> 00:23:22,792 This stupid election. Chester and Fitz... 569 00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:24,446 I think the campaign has everyone on edge. 570 00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:27,536 Re-evaluating priorities. 571 00:23:27,536 --> 00:23:29,669 - I hope it's good news. - Thank you. 572 00:23:33,324 --> 00:23:34,804 Ali Devon. 573 00:23:34,804 --> 00:23:37,633 Ah yes, right here. 574 00:23:48,296 --> 00:23:50,472 Aw, fuck me. 575 00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:55,216 [groaning] 576 00:23:55,216 --> 00:23:59,525 Gotta get my hands on that damn dirty ape. 577 00:24:11,624 --> 00:24:12,842 Bang up job. 578 00:24:12,842 --> 00:24:14,496 Want to come ruin Thanksgiving this year too? 579 00:24:14,496 --> 00:24:16,629 I do like turkey... 580 00:24:16,629 --> 00:24:18,674 [whistling] 581 00:24:18,674 --> 00:24:21,155 Why the fuck did you shoot Larry? 582 00:24:21,155 --> 00:24:23,113 Sorry, buddy. 583 00:24:23,113 --> 00:24:24,419 I failed you. 584 00:24:24,419 --> 00:24:25,899 It's not a total failure. 585 00:24:25,899 --> 00:24:27,553 What about my fucking baboon? 586 00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:29,598 He's all horned up on the medication. 587 00:24:29,598 --> 00:24:31,644 If someone was to present himself... 588 00:24:31,644 --> 00:24:34,037 Who died and made you Jane Goodall? 589 00:24:34,037 --> 00:24:37,693 I've hung off every word you've said for five years. 590 00:24:37,693 --> 00:24:40,174 Every fuck off Barry, every go to hell, microphallus... 591 00:24:40,174 --> 00:24:41,349 Huh? 592 00:24:41,349 --> 00:24:42,611 It's up to you, Josh. 593 00:24:42,611 --> 00:24:44,004 Lure the little fucker out here 594 00:24:44,004 --> 00:24:45,527 with your ape-like ass. 595 00:24:47,137 --> 00:24:49,183 I haven't heard those words since basic training... 596 00:24:49,183 --> 00:24:50,837 There's a cure for monkey AIDS, right? 597 00:24:50,837 --> 00:24:52,578 Because of you, there just might be. 598 00:24:52,578 --> 00:24:54,405 Okay... yeah! 599 00:24:55,929 --> 00:24:58,497 Come on, little buddy. Come on, buddy! 600 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,107 Come on, come on... 601 00:25:00,107 --> 00:25:02,326 Come on, hurry up. 602 00:25:02,326 --> 00:25:04,677 Is he comin' or what? 603 00:25:04,677 --> 00:25:06,679 Just like basic training. It's just like basic training. 604 00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:11,161 Here he comes, Josh. 605 00:25:11,161 --> 00:25:12,511 I feel his eyes on my ass. 606 00:25:14,077 --> 00:25:16,471 I can feel his beady little baboon eyes all over me, man. 607 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:22,129 I don't want to do this anymore! I don't want to do this anymroe! 608 00:25:22,129 --> 00:25:25,698 Oh God, he's touching me, bring the cage! 609 00:25:25,698 --> 00:25:27,221 Bring it in! Bring it in, man! 610 00:25:28,788 --> 00:25:30,441 I can't hold my position anymore, man. 611 00:25:30,441 --> 00:25:31,486 I'm not going to hold this anymore. 612 00:25:31,486 --> 00:25:33,662 Go for the fruit! Go for the fruit! 613 00:25:33,662 --> 00:25:34,968 [sobbing] Please go for the fruit! 614 00:25:39,233 --> 00:25:41,017 You better buy me a couple beers for this, pal. 615 00:25:41,017 --> 00:25:42,323 Nice work, soldier. 616 00:25:42,323 --> 00:25:43,411 Thank you, sir. 617 00:25:47,328 --> 00:25:49,939 I swear, setting him free wasn't my idea. 618 00:25:49,939 --> 00:25:53,464 But now he's back, safe and sound. 619 00:25:53,464 --> 00:25:54,857 To eventually die from AIDS. 620 00:25:54,857 --> 00:25:56,903 You know, it's too bad 621 00:25:56,903 --> 00:25:59,035 i make it a rule to never date the competition. 622 00:26:01,516 --> 00:26:03,300 Natalie - my research is ruined. 623 00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:05,041 There's no way I can win the fellowship now. 624 00:26:05,041 --> 00:26:08,567 So, if you ever need any help with your project - 625 00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,786 You could help me vivisect him. 626 00:26:12,222 --> 00:26:13,659 Love to. 627 00:26:15,356 --> 00:26:17,227 Oh, hey, Fitz? 628 00:26:17,227 --> 00:26:18,620 Save it, kid. 629 00:26:18,620 --> 00:26:20,187 Throwing away your future 630 00:26:20,187 --> 00:26:23,233 for a chance with the science department slut? 631 00:26:23,233 --> 00:26:25,540 I don't care what the paternity tests say, 632 00:26:25,540 --> 00:26:27,760 you're a real Fitzpatrick. 633 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,371 Yeah, I never want to see you again. 634 00:26:30,371 --> 00:26:32,199 Any of you motherfuckers. 635 00:26:34,027 --> 00:26:35,289 Yep. 636 00:26:38,771 --> 00:26:40,381 A real Fitzpatrick. 637 00:26:41,948 --> 00:26:44,646 Great news. You're not the father. 638 00:26:48,041 --> 00:26:49,999 I thought you'd be thrilled. 639 00:26:49,999 --> 00:26:53,176 Yeah, big relief. 640 00:26:53,176 --> 00:26:55,352 Let the press know, will you? 641 00:26:55,352 --> 00:26:57,093 I got shit to do. 642 00:26:57,093 --> 00:27:07,669 [♪] 643 00:27:07,669 --> 00:27:09,628 [mutters] 44243

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