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1
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:25,547
♪
2
00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:27,462
FITZ: Life is a million fucking roads
3
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,725
with only one destination, kids.
4
00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:33,033
The big sleep, deadsville.
5
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:37,515
Population: everyone.
6
00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,343
Take it from Fitzy.
7
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:42,694
You only get one real advantage when you're behind the wheel.
8
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:45,871
You get to choose
where you want to go.
9
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:48,309
And the radio station.
10
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:49,310
What the fuck?
11
00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:51,877
Fast-track to awesome!
12
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:55,664
Why take Gumdrop Lane
13
00:00:55,664 --> 00:01:00,364
when you can bury the pedal
on Highway 69?
14
00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:02,888
What?
15
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:04,934
Where the hell am I?
16
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:18,165
This isn't Highway 69.
17
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,819
What the fuck?
18
00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,784
What the fuck?
19
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:32,614
What the fuck?!
20
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:49,718
♪
21
00:01:49,718 --> 00:01:53,200
♪ Without you
22
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,854
♪ I'd find my smile
23
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:58,683
♪ Without you
24
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:01,251
♪ I'd have won by a mile
25
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:03,775
♪ Without you
26
00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:07,344
♪ Oh, life would be so grand
27
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,259
♪ Without you
28
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:12,915
♪ I'm half a man
29
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:26,668
♪ Without you
30
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:38,070
I'm tripping, that's it!
31
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:41,117
Only one way to come down from
a bad batch of fucked-up!
32
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,822
Oh, come on!
33
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:58,482
Come on, where's my stash?
34
00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,092
You won't find alcohol
or drugs here, Richard.
35
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,746
Jesus, Larry!
36
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,270
How can you rag on my vices
37
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,054
when you keep hiding
my fucking vices?
38
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:07,317
I don't know how to say this.
39
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:09,363
Less saying,
more looking for my drugs.
40
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:18,937
I think we're dead.
41
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:23,028
Dead-fucking thirsty!
42
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:24,160
This is another dream!
43
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,989
No, Richard, it's not a dream.
44
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,382
Don't you remember?
45
00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,645
Your crash, the head injury?
46
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,603
You weren't even in the car
with me!
47
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,039
Unless I crashed into you.
48
00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,345
Please tell me I crashed
into you!
49
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,391
You fell!
50
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:40,785
And when you died,
I died too.
51
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:43,745
'Cause I'm your conscience.
52
00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:45,747
I'm a part of you.
53
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:48,184
I'm just sorry
it took your demise
54
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:51,753
to prove what I've known
this whole time.
55
00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:54,495
You? No booze?
56
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,627
You?
57
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,368
So, this is hell!
58
00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:00,762
STRANGE VOICE:
Dream on, kid!
59
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:03,591
You're not there yet.
60
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:05,680
FITZ:
Holy shit!
61
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,683
Nicky Vebronsky!
62
00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:10,293
In the flesh.
63
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:11,294
Flesh?
64
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,514
But aren't we dead?
65
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,559
Who's Mr. Specific?
66
00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,082
Oh, I'm Larry!
67
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:19,041
He's nobody.
68
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,086
Vebronsky, the commission king!
69
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:23,872
Summer of love,
70
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:28,703
68 heaps in one afternoon
and they never saw you again.
71
00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:31,227
They said you made a deal
with the devil.
72
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,838
Or I'm just that good.
73
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:36,363
You sold a tank
to a hippie.
74
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,887
You sold a Volkswagen
to a rabbi.
75
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,672
Don't forget the kid
I took as collateral.
76
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,370
Fuck, man!
77
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,459
You're an inspiration!
78
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,548
They said you were
a charmer, Fitz.
79
00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:51,116
You know who I am?
80
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,118
He knows who I am!
81
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:55,338
Why do you think I'm here?
82
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:58,341
Someone of your stature
gets the VIP treatment.
83
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:01,083
Top-of-the-line spirit guide!
84
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:04,695
Oh, Richard!
85
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:07,176
A dead used car salesman
is your spirit guide?
86
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:09,439
I'm sorry, I failed you!
87
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,876
I tried so hard
to keep you out of hell,
88
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:13,530
and now here we are!
89
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:16,359
Once more for the cheap seats,
this ain't hell.
90
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:17,752
Oh, so...
91
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:21,538
so we're in purgatory?
92
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:25,020
The waiting room
of the afterlife.
93
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:30,591
Come on,
let me show you around.
94
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,767
See what I can interest you
with today.
95
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,725
What's your poison, Fitz?
96
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,901
Dealer's choice, I trust you.
97
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,947
Let's get started
on the paperwork!
98
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:51,699
Finally!
99
00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:52,830
Tip of the iceberg, kid!
100
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,745
Albertan?
101
00:05:54,745 --> 00:05:56,356
What, are you
trying to kill me?
102
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,619
If you want the top-shelf stuff,
you got to head downstairs.
103
00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,011
Ring-a-ding-ding,
let's go!
104
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:02,623
Richard, I think we should keep
our options open.
105
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:07,628
Maybe heaven has alcohol too,
or something better!
106
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:10,587
Like... love?
107
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:11,936
[Laughing]
108
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:13,895
Hey, who's
the spirit guide here?
109
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:15,244
Well, if hell
is so much fun,
110
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:17,377
then why aren't you there, mister?
111
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:21,685
You had me at top-shelf.
112
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:22,991
This way, pal!
113
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:25,036
Yeah!
114
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:27,822
Wait up!
115
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,353
Look, Fitz, I know
you're the real deal,
116
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,529
but we can't do business
until you ankle that Edsel.
117
00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:42,967
I'm working on it!
118
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:45,056
I know you are.
119
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:47,363
Look, take a look around,
get a feel for the place.
120
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,408
Give me a shout.
121
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,626
How will I find you?
122
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,759
You don't find Vebronsky, kid.
123
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,369
Vebronsky finds you.
124
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:55,719
And if you do get to hell,
tell them Nicky sent you.
125
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,852
Make sure they get it
on the books.
126
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:19,569
Wheels up!
127
00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:21,615
No, no, she's not a woman.
128
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:23,138
She's a succubus,
a sexual demon.
129
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,269
It's a trick!
130
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:26,010
And my stewardess
for all eternity.
131
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:27,708
Ring-a-ding-ding!
132
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:30,362
They prefer the term
"flight attendant."
133
00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:33,409
[Music playing, moaning]
134
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,634
Welcome to hell.
135
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,505
Ban on all outside food
and beverage,
136
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,507
recording devices... hope.
137
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,640
ANNOUNCER:
We got a great show
for you tonight!
138
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:50,687
Poison-hot cuties
all lined up!
139
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,776
Holy shit!
140
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:55,475
Hell is the Rat Pack lounge
of my dreams!
141
00:07:58,608 --> 00:07:59,783
Hey, easy buddy!
142
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:02,307
Vebronsky sent me!
143
00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:03,352
You're not on the list.
144
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:04,353
Oh, thank God!
145
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:05,615
Hey, give me some scratch.
146
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:08,531
I'm sure we can work out
this little oversight.
147
00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:10,098
I don't want money.
148
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:12,056
I'm a sodomy demon.
149
00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:13,493
Take him.
150
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,537
Uh, no, thank you very much!
151
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,626
Oh, come on, buddy!
Work with me!
152
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:17,714
I'm a prick!
153
00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:18,933
I've been a prick
my whole life!
154
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,500
What's a guy got to do
to get on that list?
155
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,503
Richard, I think I know why
they're not letting you in.
156
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,721
Really?
157
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,157
Illuminate me,
fuck-tard!
158
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,942
The dead, Richard!
159
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,552
Only the dead
get into hell.
160
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,032
Don't you see?
161
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,686
We're not dead!
162
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,731
We're still alive, whoo!
163
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:38,692
Caucasian male, late 30s.
164
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:41,390
Blunt-force trauma
to the back of the head.
165
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,958
Uh, breathing shallow,
pupils non-responsive.
166
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,613
Signs of extensive drug
and alcohol abuse.
167
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,223
Possible brain damage, over.
168
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:49,572
Brain damage?
169
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:50,878
How can you be so calm?
170
00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:52,532
Ativan.
171
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,056
Lady, this man's life
is at stake,
172
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,623
and you may be the key
to his survival!
173
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,842
We're doing
all we can here, okay?
174
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,235
Maybe your friend should learn
175
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,584
that the speed limit
is not a suggestion.
176
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:04,021
Now is not the time
for judgements, missy!
177
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,849
I need you to emotionally invest
in this situation.
178
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:06,850
Put these on.
179
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,330
Of course, anything!
180
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:09,679
Don't tell me
how to do my job!
181
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:13,640
Hey!
182
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,991
[Sirens blaring]
183
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:20,603
Oh, ah!
184
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,692
[Crying]
185
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,955
What the fuck's
your problem?
186
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,870
Fitzy!
187
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:28,611
[Making exploding noise]
188
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:29,656
He's in the "whee-ooh!"
189
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:32,484
I think he may be--
he could be--
190
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:35,618
My son is dead?
191
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:39,535
Fitzy's dead?
192
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:40,623
Oh, buddy!
193
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:43,583
You really think
this is a good idea?
194
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:48,675
Fucking brakes, man!
195
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,634
Why, Fitzy, why!
196
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:54,550
Cousin, cousin!
197
00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:57,640
Our prayers
have been answered.
198
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,729
Richard Fitzpatrick
has died
199
00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,775
in a flaming ball
of twisted metal!
200
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:04,604
The ne'er-do-well
prince is dead?
201
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,693
The kingdom is weakening!
202
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:10,218
Step one on our plans
towards automotive domination!
203
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:11,785
And the king is old.
204
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:15,702
And in today's economy,
he could use some help
205
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:18,052
with his mid-level
retirement plans.
206
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,358
Courtesy of the Ruptal world, huh?
207
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:23,100
Soon, cousin, all of this,
all of it will be ours!
208
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,146
Glory be!
209
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,587
Vebronsky!
210
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:32,936
Vebronsky?
211
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:34,677
Aw, come on, man!
212
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,418
You're supposed to be
my spirit guide!
213
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:37,724
Don't leave me hanging!
214
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,421
Richard, he's not coming
215
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:41,075
because you don't need
a spirit guide.
216
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,554
And once we're back
to the land of the living,
217
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:44,382
we can focus on making you
a better person.
218
00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:45,645
Oh, maybe we'll go organic!
219
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:46,994
Fuck that!
220
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,257
I've seen hell,
and it's awesome, man!
221
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:51,563
It's time Fitzy gets
rewarded for his sins!
222
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,870
But how do you know it's
not the old bait and switch?
223
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,698
Lure you in, and then
presto-chango,
224
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:57,700
submit you to an eternity
of genital torture?
225
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,267
Giddy-up!
226
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:02,009
This isn't just your eternity
we're talking about here!
227
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:04,359
Fitz!
228
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:05,882
You've already ruined
my life.
229
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:09,669
You're not ruining
my afterlife!
230
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,845
Vebronsky!
231
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:14,891
[Sound of keys typing]
232
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:24,248
Fitzy?
233
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,641
What are you doing here?
234
00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,164
You're supposed to be
drinking 80-proof
235
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,427
and getting a lap dance
from Lucrezia Borgia.
236
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,691
Apparently, they're prejudiced.
237
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,431
Said I wasn't on the list
238
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:34,868
because I'm not dead,
or some shit.
239
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:37,522
Fuck!
240
00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:38,872
Ah, I've seen this before.
241
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,744
You can't die 'cause
your soul's in turmoil.
242
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,006
Fuck turmoil.
243
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,313
I'm all soul, and I know
exactly what I want.
244
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,706
But Larry doesn't.
245
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,359
You telling me that fucker
246
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:49,752
actually has something
to do with this?
247
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,275
He's a part of you, man.
248
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:52,712
I can't make that shit up!
249
00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:59,022
Oh, well, that wasn't
the stairway to heaven.
250
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:01,459
Once again, here you are
to fuck things up!
251
00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:04,811
Or I'm traversing the bowels
of eternity trying to save you,
252
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,160
and make things better for us.
253
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,162
Why you always got to try
and ruin my fun?
254
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,251
If you hadn't got into
that infernal car--
255
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,513
It was your fucking idea!
256
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:12,514
Do you know how hard
this is for me, Richard?
257
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:14,472
I'm a busy man!
258
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,517
And as your spirit guide,
259
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,519
I got to insist
that you sort out
260
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,956
this whole two-bodies,
one-soul bullshit.
261
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,828
And how would you suggest
we do that?
262
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:25,788
With magic tricks?
263
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:26,789
I love magic tricks!
264
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:29,313
Card game.
265
00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:33,013
If Fitzy wins, you both agree
to go to hell.
266
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:36,320
If I win, mister,
we go somewhere less hot.
267
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,408
Not going to happen.
268
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:39,019
All right, we got a deal!
269
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:43,632
Standard dealer's contract,
initial here, here and here.
270
00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:47,679
So, uh, what's it
going to be?
271
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,594
Go Fish? Canasta?
272
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,863
No, we're going to play
a man's game.
273
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:59,126
Five-card stud.
274
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:00,562
Oh, what version?
275
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:03,043
Jackpots, double draw,
California lowball,
276
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,696
London lowball, little Chicago,
Terracina, shifting sands,
277
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,568
razz, Mississippi stud,
278
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,178
and my personal favourite,
the bitch!
279
00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:10,441
Impressive.
280
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:11,834
What?
281
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:14,750
You know poker,
so I know poker!
282
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:15,577
Deal.
283
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:17,797
Enjoying your sandwich?
284
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:22,671
Gunshot wound,
bus crash, twins.
285
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:23,890
How is your day going?
286
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:24,978
My day?
287
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:27,197
Try the last three months, lady.
288
00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:30,287
A carnie fortune-teller
told Richard he'd be murdered,
289
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,941
and when we couldn't find
his killer,
290
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:34,465
he decided to jazz up
his obituary
291
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,206
by breaking the county
speed record.
292
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:37,860
Why don't we just skip ahead
to the injury?
293
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,253
I tried to stop him,
294
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:43,300
and so he changed his route
and then he crashed.
295
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:47,652
And then, I tied his shoe,
and that made him...
296
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,089
Uh-huh?
297
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:53,876
I insisted we track down
his killer.
298
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:56,444
I forced him to change
his route!
299
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:57,662
I tied his shoe!
300
00:13:57,662 --> 00:13:59,316
And now, you're cutting off
his oxygen.
301
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,274
Hmm?
302
00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:02,624
Oh!
303
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:03,712
It's all my fault!
304
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:06,541
Here's to Richard Fitzpatrick.
305
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:08,717
May his jinx die with him.
306
00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:10,501
How many more times
are you going to say that today?
307
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,547
As many times as I have to!
308
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:17,160
Vodka, straight up.
309
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,032
No booze for Legs!
She's pregnant.
310
00:14:19,032 --> 00:14:20,598
I'm not making
the same mistake with you
311
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:22,470
as I did with those
other two Mongoloids.
312
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,993
If that means you being
locked up in a box
313
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,603
under my bed for nine months,
so be it.
314
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,562
Oh, I terminated the pregnancy.
315
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:34,395
You're not going
to say anything?
316
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,919
What is it with you broads
and talking?
317
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,094
It's over, move on.
318
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,574
I have.
319
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:42,359
My letter of resignation
is on your desk.
320
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:48,670
You know, your son
never had a chance.
321
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,977
That crash didn't kill him.
322
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,761
His family did.
323
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:01,378
He's paying.
324
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:12,650
Do these chips represent
all the bad things I've done?
325
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:15,305
And those are the bad things
done to you.
326
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:20,745
I'll open with the women
I've fucked over.
327
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:23,792
I will call with the one woman
who effed you over.
328
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:29,972
One.
329
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,018
I will take three.
330
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:38,938
Let's make things interesting.
331
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:43,464
Timmy, the boy I wedgied
in daycare.
332
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:47,555
Jan, the girl who shaved your
eyebrow in seventh grade.
333
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:51,559
Full house, 10s over queens.
334
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,213
Jacks over kings.
335
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:56,520
Goody!
336
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,000
Ugh!
337
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,612
Deal!
338
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:02,787
[Machines beeping]
339
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:05,312
What's happening?
340
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:06,704
He's convulsing.
341
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:07,967
Well, what does
that mean?
342
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:08,837
It means I don't get
to finish my sandwich.
343
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,491
What?
344
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:13,189
Clear!
345
00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:16,410
All right, gents, let's see
what lady luck has to offer.
346
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,151
Every lemon I ever sold.
347
00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:21,284
I will call.
Royal flush!
348
00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:23,199
Fuck me!
349
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:25,288
I see your credit card scam
350
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,769
with your father's punishment
of your perceived weaknesses.
351
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,553
You going to let him
treat you that way?
352
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:30,772
Like a girl?
Is that what you are?
353
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,382
I call.
354
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,428
I fold.
355
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:35,995
That's my boy.
356
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,997
Two pair,
aces high.
357
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,259
Look at that!
358
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,695
I got the exact same hand
as you.
359
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,653
I thought you were a player.
360
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:45,482
I'm all in.
361
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,529
Gentlemen,
the chips are down.
362
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,839
You know, you just
inherited Fitz's tab.
363
00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:56,189
Heh, heh!
364
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:57,668
Like fuck I did!
365
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,893
What do you taco benders
want?
366
00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:08,940
You are a very amusing man,
Mr. Fitzpatrick.
367
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:13,858
A man who deserves much more
than disrespect and ill-fortune.
368
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,556
Which is why we come
to you with an offer
369
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:18,776
that even a man of your
much-disputed greatness
370
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:21,823
would be a fool to refuse.
371
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:29,700
My office, tomorrow,
3 o'clock.
372
00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:51,548
One.
373
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,077
I am fine.
374
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:08,652
Four kings.
375
00:18:15,572 --> 00:18:17,008
You win.
376
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:19,054
[Laughing]
377
00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:23,537
Yes!
378
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:24,668
I'm going to hell!
379
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:27,584
Signed, sealed and delivered.
380
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:29,238
We are going to hell,
381
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:30,935
and it's going to be
fucking awesome!
382
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:33,982
[Laughing]
383
00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:37,594
No, it's not.
384
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:42,643
[Laughing]
385
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:56,918
[Machine flat-lining]
386
00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:57,962
You can slow down!
387
00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:59,616
That's it?
388
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,705
I would apologize, but according
to our legal department,
389
00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:04,273
that might be construed as
an admission of culpability.
390
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:05,796
But he can't be dead!
391
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,407
Richard!
392
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:08,843
Richard, you can't be dead!
393
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:09,931
Because I'm not dead!
394
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:12,499
Live, Richard, live!
395
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:18,331
Heh, heh!
396
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:20,942
See you again, sweetheart!
397
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:22,683
You cheated me!
398
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:24,641
King of commissions,
baby!
399
00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:26,861
You know what kind of coin
the big guy would pay
400
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:28,602
for a bastard like you?
401
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:30,343
We're talking about
a brand-new motor home.
402
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:31,648
And when I say motor home,
403
00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:33,737
I mean solid-gold tits
for days.
404
00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:35,130
You fucker!
405
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,784
Us tin-slingers are supposed
to stick together!
406
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:38,351
Vebronsky doesn't
do partners.
407
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:40,222
Unlike you!
408
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:41,702
Have fun, kid.
409
00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:43,617
Oh, we will.
410
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,925
One last chip.
411
00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:49,405
You went south on us?
412
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:51,451
You sneaky fuck,
that's cheating!
413
00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:54,149
No, no, that's just
my insurance policy,
414
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,064
for Richard's own good.
415
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:58,632
I suspected Nicky Vebronsky
of treachery
416
00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:00,242
from the moment we met,
417
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:02,592
and when it became obvious you
were blinded by his charms--
418
00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:04,290
Blah, blah, blah!
419
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,726
No need to get testy!
420
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,380
What do you say, Fitz?
421
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:10,687
One last hand,
winner take all.
422
00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:13,690
My eternal damnation
for a set of gold tits?
423
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:16,040
Give me that fucking chip,
Larry!
424
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,956
No, Richard.
425
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:21,002
It's all we have left,
426
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:24,092
and your soul is far
too valuable to gamble.
427
00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:34,972
BOTH:
No!
428
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:41,457
[Blowing air]
429
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,590
Get the fuck off me,
fruit bar!
430
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:45,418
You're alive!
You're alive!
431
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:46,984
Ow, ow, Larry!
My ribs!
432
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:48,943
Sorry, sorry!
433
00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:51,815
Put the sirens back on.
434
00:20:51,815 --> 00:20:54,731
[Sirens blaring]
435
00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:58,257
Oh, Jesus Christ, fuck!
436
00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,954
Keep breathing!
437
00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:07,527
My brother's dead.
438
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:10,573
Wow, I thought I would feel... something.
439
00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:17,319
Great.
440
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:18,625
Ugh!
441
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,627
You know what kind of month
I've had, asshole?
442
00:21:20,627 --> 00:21:23,934
Drop the gun!
Drop it!
443
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,023
You're cute.
444
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:27,111
Too bad I have to kill you.
445
00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:28,591
It's nothing personal!
446
00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:29,940
I was told to send a message
to your brother.
447
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:32,334
Bad move, moron.
448
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,858
My brother doesn't give a shit
about me!
449
00:21:34,858 --> 00:21:36,338
Especially since he's dead.
450
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,340
He's not dead.
451
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:41,169
What the fuck
you talking about?
452
00:21:41,169 --> 00:21:43,040
Ambulance drivers,
all Lebanese.
453
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,346
Your brother is still alive.
454
00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:46,740
Son of a bitch!
455
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:47,784
Nobody tells me anything
around here!
456
00:21:47,784 --> 00:21:49,569
My father's the same way!
457
00:21:49,569 --> 00:21:50,657
And my mother, goddamn it!
458
00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:52,311
You have a talent.
459
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,138
You've seen me dance?
460
00:21:54,138 --> 00:21:58,621
If you let me go,
461
00:21:58,621 --> 00:22:01,276
may I interest you
in employment?
462
00:22:01,276 --> 00:22:03,496
Keep talking.
463
00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:11,199
That's phenomenal, Richard.
464
00:22:11,199 --> 00:22:12,809
Get your hands off me!
465
00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:15,203
While I was saving you
in real life,
466
00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:16,900
I was also saving you
in your dream.
467
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,989
Yeah, whoopty-doo.
468
00:22:18,989 --> 00:22:20,426
Oh, that's okay, buddy.
469
00:22:20,426 --> 00:22:21,557
I know it's hard for you
to show gratitude.
470
00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:22,645
But you know what?
471
00:22:22,645 --> 00:22:24,430
The fact that you're
still breathing,
472
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:26,606
that's all the thanks I need.
473
00:22:26,606 --> 00:22:28,825
I was wrong;
this is my hell.
474
00:22:28,825 --> 00:22:30,436
Hey, Richard?
475
00:22:30,436 --> 00:22:33,177
You know the funniest thing
about all this?
476
00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:34,265
No, Larry, tell me.
477
00:22:34,265 --> 00:22:35,571
What's the funniest thing
478
00:22:35,571 --> 00:22:37,181
about the fact
that I almost died today?
479
00:22:37,181 --> 00:22:39,096
Well, for a minute there,
480
00:22:39,096 --> 00:22:42,143
I actually thought that I was
your shadowy figure.
481
00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:50,238
Hmm, look at that.
482
00:22:50,238 --> 00:22:53,937
Yellow paint on my Italian
leather gloves.
483
00:22:53,937 --> 00:22:55,548
It's kind of like the paint
484
00:22:55,548 --> 00:22:57,158
that was used to deface
our mural.
485
00:22:57,158 --> 00:22:58,681
But that's silly!
486
00:22:58,681 --> 00:23:00,379
Next thing you know,
I'll be accusing myself
487
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,468
of digging up
Babs Devon's grave!
488
00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:04,513
Mud?
489
00:23:07,647 --> 00:23:12,521
My God, that could be
from Babs Devon's grave!
490
00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:17,439
And my size 13 boot!
491
00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:20,921
But how could I be running
around sabotaging you?
492
00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:22,705
You can't be, Larry.
493
00:23:22,705 --> 00:23:24,359
That's fucking retarded!
494
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:25,447
What's next?
495
00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:27,493
You shot the mommy video too?
496
00:23:31,105 --> 00:23:33,281
My God!
497
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:35,326
Why do we always hurt the ones
we love the most?
498
00:23:35,326 --> 00:23:37,459
You just saved me,
moron!
499
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:38,460
Only so I could kill you tomorrow,
500
00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:39,461
on the beaver moon!
501
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:41,594
Oh, for fuck's sake!
502
00:23:41,594 --> 00:23:44,379
Well, I guess you better
get out of my life then!
503
00:23:44,379 --> 00:23:48,470
You're right.
504
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:50,472
I will!
505
00:23:53,649 --> 00:23:54,607
Forever.
506
00:23:54,607 --> 00:23:56,609
Forever'd be good.
507
00:24:00,569 --> 00:24:02,702
Goodbye, Richard.
508
00:24:24,637 --> 00:24:28,945
We're almost out of milk,
509
00:24:28,945 --> 00:24:32,253
and the toilet paper's
under the sink.
510
00:24:38,172 --> 00:24:41,654
My God.
511
00:24:41,654 --> 00:24:44,700
Is he really fucking serious
this time?
512
00:25:08,332 --> 00:25:17,777
♪
34192
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