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FITZ:
Relationships are complicated,
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00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,985
no matter what stage
in the game...
3
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:31,596
Banging, dating, marriage...
4
00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:34,817
banging someone you dated on
the day they get married.
5
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:38,690
Look at her:
pretty little Ali Devon,
6
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:42,781
concerned for my well-being,
obviously reliving
7
00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:45,523
that mind-blowing orgasm
I just gave her.
8
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:50,746
So what if I'm on the lam for a
murder I didn't commit?
9
00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:53,662
Everything's cool,
and she totally wants me.
10
00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:56,404
We need to talk,
11
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:59,320
and be perfectly clear about
what this means for us.
12
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,584
Uh-oh...
She totally wants me.
13
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:05,630
Is there anything
that you want to say?
14
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:08,764
Um...
15
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,552
I need to take a piss.
16
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,861
Committed relationships are for
suckers at the best of times.
17
00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:22,517
With the cops on your tail,
you gotta move fast.
18
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,475
Don't get weighed down with
extra baggage.
19
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,173
Good idea.
20
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:28,131
Listen, urinal cake,
we gotta ditch Ali.
21
00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:29,524
What?! We can't do that.
22
00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:31,787
Sure we can. Just go
back there and tell her
23
00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:34,311
she's gotta piss now, 'cause
we're not gonna stop again.
24
00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:36,705
You know, it's funny...
She just told me the same thing.
25
00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:37,793
Huh?
What?
26
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:38,924
[Engine starting]
27
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:39,925
Fuck!
28
00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,057
Wait, Richard!
29
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:42,754
Hey, I'm still peeing! Richard!
30
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,800
Hey! Ali! Ali!
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00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,936
Fuck.
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00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:55,680
♪
33
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,552
♪ Without you
34
00:01:57,552 --> 00:02:01,991
♪ I'd find my smile
35
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:04,515
♪ Without you
36
00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:07,257
♪ I'd have won by a mile
37
00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:09,738
♪ Without you
38
00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:13,307
♪ Oh, life would be
so grand ♪
39
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,265
♪ Without you
40
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,485
♪ I'm half a man
41
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:21,141
♪ Without you
42
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:28,148
♪ Without you...
43
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,804
♪ Without you
44
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,549
LARRY:
Richard, we can't run
from the police forever.
45
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:40,595
We need to find Sonja now!
46
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:47,036
I need eggs, bacon,
and single malt.
47
00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,516
Richard, we can't
afford alcohol.
48
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:49,995
We'll share the eggs,
and no bacon.
49
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,997
You need to watch your
cholesterol, mister.
50
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:54,130
What are we? A couple of
anorexic high school girls?
51
00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:55,958
Richard, we are down
to our last $20,
52
00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:57,438
and we can't use credit or debit
53
00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:58,700
because we have to
stay off the grid.
54
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,267
Otherwise, the police
could track us down.
55
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,225
You are wanted
for Sonja's murder.
56
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,967
Our only recourse is to find her
and clear your name.
57
00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:06,621
There is no way
that I am spending
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00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,144
what could be
the last week of my life
59
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:09,624
in jail or on the run
with you.
60
00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:11,713
Come on! We're doing okay.
61
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,105
You were gonna take a ride
62
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:14,411
from that creepy dude
at the rest stop.
63
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,718
Gunther was a gentleman!
64
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,589
Don't worry, Richard;
I will do whatever it takes
65
00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:20,548
to exonerate you of these
heinous accusations.
66
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,898
All I need... is a clue,
67
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:25,248
or a lead, or some,
just, scrap of evidence.
68
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,294
Yeah, well, make it fast,
Nancy Drew.
69
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,687
My handsome mug is plastered all
over the news.
70
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:31,123
It's only a matter of time
71
00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:33,169
before one of these
mouth-breathers recognize me.
72
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:35,998
Richard, don't be ridiculous.
Nobody is watching you--
73
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:38,305
Except for...
74
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,700
Holy fuck! Laverne!
75
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,329
I never anticipated
there would come a time
76
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,200
when I wished
you would speak.
77
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,636
It's fine.
78
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:08,552
Oh, I see. Well, I'm so sorry to
bring you much regret.
79
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:11,642
Perhaps you too are merely
adequate at intercourse.
80
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:13,514
It's not you, it's--
I feel guilty.
81
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,342
I barely broke up
with your cousin,
82
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,126
and the next thing
you know, we're--
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00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,781
Next thing you know, we are
making the beast with two backs
84
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:22,218
sing sweetly from our loins.
85
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:25,787
I can see him, looking at me... disappointed.
86
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,921
Mocca-bear!
87
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,401
What are you doing here?
88
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:34,404
A vicious strain of Norwalk
ravaged our vessel,
89
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:35,753
forcing our immediate return.
90
00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:39,931
Were it not for this searing
pain in my colon,
91
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:41,803
I never would have learned of
this treachery.
92
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,805
Oh, I'm sorry!
93
00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:46,329
Please forgive me!
I'll do anything.
94
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:47,939
There is nothing to be done...
95
00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:52,292
Except to consume
vast amounts of Gatorade.
96
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,468
You have lost many electrolytes.
97
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,731
What? That's it?
You're just gonna give up.
98
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:57,819
You're not even
gonna fight for me?
99
00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,560
Will you be quiet?
100
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,345
This man needs some rest, not
your relentless camel braying.
101
00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:06,871
You're a fucking waitress?
102
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:09,657
Sexual mysticism isn't exactly
a growth industry.
103
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:12,399
Here is where I am
having a problem...
104
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,096
You told me that Richard's
shadowy figure
105
00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:15,663
is "closer than we think."
106
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:18,274
Well, we have exhausted every
resource at our disposal,
107
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,189
and are no closer
to a solution, missy!
108
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:23,497
The solution is obvious,
head cheese. She made it up.
109
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:27,109
Right, 'cause I got nothing
better to do with my time.
110
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:29,416
You had me worrying
about some bullshit curse,
111
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,113
when I should've been worried
about finding Sonja
112
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:32,506
and squashing this
murder warrant!
113
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:33,507
You're actually worried?
114
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:34,638
You're wanted for murder?
115
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,336
You didn't know
I was wanted for murder?
116
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,467
Some fucking psychic you are.
117
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,861
I'm a little hit-and-miss.
118
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,471
How about another go-around?
119
00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:53,440
LARRY:
Ooh, Richard! Ask where
to look for Sonja!
120
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,314
LAVERNE:
Oh... Oh... Oh...
121
00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:00,360
Oh... Cock-on-a-stick!
122
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:05,800
"Cock-on-a-stick."
What does that mean?
123
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,758
It means you owe her
our last 20, Sherlock.
124
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,804
What?
125
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,723
Nice car.
It's a rental.
126
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,551
I never should've let you
talk me into this.
127
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,117
I don't have the stomach
for conspiracy.
128
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:23,905
Conspiracy? You proactively
prosecuted. That's your job.
129
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,428
I should've stopped you
130
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,735
from putting that bloody knife
in Fitz's trunk.
131
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,563
I knew it was wrong.
132
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:33,044
Chester, you didn't frame
anyone. I make my own decisions,
133
00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:35,220
and I decided
to plant the knife.
134
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:38,136
Did you really think
you could stop me?
135
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:40,182
But I can't go to jail
136
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:41,879
with all of the mobsters that
I couldn't get off on mistrials.
137
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:45,230
They'll make me get them off,
and-- Oh God, what if I like it?
138
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:48,146
Chester... give me your hand.
139
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:52,586
[Cracking]
140
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,152
I know you're pathetic.
141
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,372
Why, you couldn't even
keep your fiancée
142
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:59,549
from fucking her ex-boyfriend
on your wedding day.
143
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:02,247
That's why I'm gonna
make this easy for you.
144
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:05,250
One word.
If the cops come asking,
145
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:08,471
deny... deny...
146
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,647
deny.
147
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:13,868
Okay, that hurts.
148
00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:16,740
Just remember...
149
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,786
I'm the boss.
150
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:30,798
LARRY:
Richard, please,
151
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:33,975
we've been walking for hours.
152
00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:36,020
My bovine allergy,
153
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:37,587
mixed with that cheese blintz
back at the diner--
154
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:38,762
[Belching]
155
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,721
Pardon me.
Richard, are you listening?
156
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:52,950
There.
157
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:56,563
This has to be it.
Cock-on-a-stick!
158
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,434
Oh, no, I hope not,
159
00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:01,524
because I saw a place like this
in a horror movie once,
160
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,221
and the farm was
owned by cannibals
161
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:07,399
who slaughtered travellers
and then... ate them!
162
00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:09,314
Yeah...
163
00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:12,361
My cousin brought his girlfriend
out here once to mess around.
164
00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:15,495
The police didn't find their
mutilated bodies for a year.
165
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:19,237
I heard about that. Didn't he
dismember them with a chainsaw?
166
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:21,675
Worse. They were
bludgeoned to death...
167
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:26,462
with a chainsaw!
168
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:29,596
Let's just rescue Sonja and get
the hell out of here
169
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,555
before our severed heads before
some mutant hillbilly's sex toy.
170
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:34,557
Richard, what if we find her and
she's been dismembered?
171
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,385
What if they're eating her
as we speak?
172
00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:40,128
Wait here, you nancy.
173
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:49,485
[Moaning]
174
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,116
Holy shit... Laverne was right.
We actually found you.
175
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,599
Mr. Fitz?
176
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,558
What are you doing here?
177
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,211
I'm here to save you...
178
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:23,388
unless you've been abducted by
one of those polygamist cults,
179
00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:25,347
'cause I could
get behind that.
180
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:27,088
I wasn't abducted.
I came home to my family.
181
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,569
Your family of lesbians?
182
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,439
I'm Amish.
183
00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:31,962
You are not.
184
00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:34,356
You never did listen to me.
185
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:35,792
All those times I told you
186
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:38,490
that I was on my Rumspringa
to test my faith,
187
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:41,581
to see if I was committed to
returning to the Amish church?
188
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,714
I always thought Rumspringa
was your safe word.
189
00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:46,803
You know, it still can be.
190
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:50,024
I have relinquished
the English ways,
191
00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:52,461
and returned to my roots.
192
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:54,419
And you have to go!
193
00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:57,901
No, no way! I'm being framed
for your murder,
194
00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,860
and since you're the one who ran
off, you fucking owe me.
195
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:03,211
You made me leave!
196
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,213
LARRY:
Richard! Help!
Cannibal hillbillies!
197
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:10,218
Olaf, put the pitchfork down.
198
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:13,047
Sonja! You're alive!
Thank goodness!
199
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:15,049
Sonja, this English was
besmirching our goat.
200
00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:17,704
I was not besmirching it.
I was petting!
201
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,619
What goes on here?
202
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:23,057
I'm sorry, Olaf. I know Larry
from my Rumspringa.
203
00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:26,060
It is indeed a pleasure.
204
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:28,149
I have to say, I find your
culture fascinating.
205
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:30,673
The humility, the abstinence...
206
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,936
The cannibalism... not too
keen on. Gotta be honest.
207
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:34,851
We're not cannibals, Larry.
208
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:38,594
You're thinking
of the Mennonites.
209
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,030
Richard Fitzpatrick.
210
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:42,380
Call me Fitz.
211
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:45,296
I know all about you, Fitz.
212
00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:47,081
Your exploits,
your wanton ways,
213
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,823
and I will not allow you to
corrupt Sonja anymore.
214
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:51,433
I never twisted her arm...
215
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:53,261
unless, of course,
she wanted me to.
216
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:57,091
Olaf is the best carriage-maker
in the village.
217
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,875
Sonja, piety.
218
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:01,530
I just want him to know what a
good husband you're gonna make.
219
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,401
Husband?
220
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,490
It is true.
Sonja and I are betrothed.
221
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:06,491
Oh! Congratulations!
222
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:07,492
You can't marry this guy.
223
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:09,581
Why not?
224
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:10,582
Because...
225
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:13,585
Because I need you...
226
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:16,240
to clear my name.
227
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:20,549
So, you're not here for me,
you're here for yourself.
228
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,464
I should've known.
229
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:25,467
All we need is a quick
phone call, maybe a photo--
230
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,469
OLAF:
No, there is no signal here,
231
00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:29,340
but there is a payphone
down the road.
232
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:32,996
Go, Sonja, make the call, so
these English will leave.
233
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:35,390
No.
234
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,523
We limit our use of modern
technology to one day a week,
235
00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:41,570
and I am done compromising my
values for Fitz.
236
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:45,879
We'll go on Friday.
Phone day.
237
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,445
In this case, we can
make an exception.
238
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:49,360
Oh no. No, no.
239
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:54,278
If Friday is phone day,
then we will wait till Friday.
240
00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:56,541
So, what are the sleeping
arrangements?
241
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:05,942
LARRY:
So, you're Sonja's brother.
I didn't know she had a brother.
242
00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:10,642
There are many things about
Sonja you did not know.
243
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,775
I changed the straw,
244
00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:15,386
and the blanket is worn
by our cleanest horse.
245
00:12:15,386 --> 00:12:19,390
So, where do I sleep?
246
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:22,393
You're funny, English.
I like you.
247
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,357
How come every woman I fuck
248
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:31,185
decides to marry
a douche-nozzle?
249
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,361
Well, that's why you want to
stay until phone day:
250
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:34,536
to win Sonja back!
251
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,407
No, I want to stay
to clear my name!
252
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:38,670
If you win Sonja's forgiveness,
you'll clear your name,
253
00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,716
and your soul!
254
00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:42,152
And mine!
255
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:45,503
For stealing those dice,
for breaking into Dot's house,
256
00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,375
for lying to the police,
for stealing feet from a morgue.
257
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:49,594
You're still talking.
258
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,466
Let's do this, Richard.
Let's go Amish!
259
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:53,511
For Sonja, for ourselves...
260
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:56,819
Our future [what's left of it],
depends on it!
261
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,605
Fine... but I'm not
doing the beard.
262
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:03,130
Amish!
263
00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:09,484
Good morning!
264
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:11,747
What are you doing?
265
00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:13,357
What does it look like?
266
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,055
We're trying to learn about
humility and shit.
267
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,491
You could never fit in here.
268
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:18,449
I'll out-humble you any day
of the week, fucker.
269
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:25,195
Being Amish is about
commitment to God and community.
270
00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:28,416
It is about submission to a
power higher than yourself.
271
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:29,765
Submission?
272
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:32,637
Look, I know Richard
has proven to be a bit...
273
00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:34,596
egotistical...
in the past, but--
274
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:37,338
He says, "You're welcome,"
when he orgasms.
275
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,298
Now, Sonja,
we go on Rumspringa
276
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,300
to experience the life
of the English.
277
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:47,043
It is only fair to allow them to
experience our life.
278
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:51,482
Come. Mayhap Samuel Samuelson
could use their assistance
279
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,484
in the cooperage.
280
00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:55,138
Olaf--
281
00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:58,881
Look, I know we have a long way
to go, but Richard can change...
282
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,100
for you!
283
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,493
You just watch me evolve!
284
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,539
Ooh!
285
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:15,332
FITZ:
You're holding it wrong.
286
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:17,378
How can I be
holding it wrong?
287
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,423
Just do the exact opposite of
what you're doing right now.
288
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:23,384
It's like that effing Ikea shelf
all over again.
289
00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:24,689
[Laughing]
290
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,300
Thought you fuckers were
supposed to be humble.
291
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,476
Oh, we are humble,
292
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,261
but we also enjoy some
good-natured buffoonery.
293
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:35,613
I'm sure there is a simpler task
you could attempt.
294
00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:39,356
Let's see how you do
drilling some bungholes.
295
00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:42,055
What the fuck
did you just say to me?
296
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:44,535
This. A bunghole.
297
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,363
You trying to start something,
"Little House on the Fairy"?
298
00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:49,497
Of course not.
299
00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,107
Richard, the Amish
don't fight.
300
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:53,762
Maybe it's time they learned.
301
00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:56,025
SONJA:
Mr. Fitz? Larry?
302
00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:58,071
Why don't you help out
the women in the orchard?
303
00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,246
[Snickering]
304
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:00,682
Women's work...
305
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:12,302
Have I offended?
306
00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:25,446
We have discussed it at length,
and we've come to a decision.
307
00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,274
Yeah, well I've made
a decision too.
308
00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:28,840
Uh, you're leaving?
309
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,712
Well, I'm certainly not sticking
around here while you two
310
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:33,976
ignore my obvious qualities
worth fighting over.
311
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,978
You see? This is why it would
never work with her.
312
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:38,850
She's unwilling to understand
the ways of our people.
313
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:41,810
We Pashtuns are passionate,
but mostly non-violent.
314
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:43,681
To steal a cousin's woman
315
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,857
is almost as bad as stealing
a cousin's livestock,
316
00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:50,253
yet we still try to find
a peaceful solution.
317
00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:52,342
But if all of that fails,
then we blow it up.
318
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:55,519
If you loved me,
you'd fight for me.
319
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:58,740
A duel?
320
00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:01,786
I have not, and will never,
cross swords with my cousin!
321
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:12,623
There is something invigorating
about a day of manual work,
322
00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:13,842
don't you think, Richard?
323
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,757
To feel the soil
in your hands,
324
00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:19,195
see the actual fruits of your
labour, growing all around you.
325
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,284
It makes me feel at one
with the land.
326
00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:22,720
Good day, m'ladies.
327
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,070
I need a drink.
328
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,549
No, Richard.
The Amish abstain.
329
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:27,073
There's gotta be something
around here.
330
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,031
Some fermented cider, turpentine...
331
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:30,641
Ooh, magic mushrooms!
332
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:32,904
No, don't! If those are poison,
they could kill you.
333
00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:35,037
As long as they get me high.
334
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,300
SONJA:
I do not understand
your reluctance.
335
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:40,173
OLAF:
Edith is a good woman,
but she is impetuous.
336
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,739
Good day, m'ladies.
337
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,785
SONJA:
She does not need your
permission or her father's
338
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:45,743
to buy what she wants.
339
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:48,442
There will be no further
discussion. My mind is made up.
340
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,226
Edith needs a new buggy,
341
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:52,489
and you are the best builder
in the area.
342
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,448
She is willing to pay.
343
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:57,059
Your avarice grows in the
presence of these English.
344
00:16:57,059 --> 00:17:00,454
Trouble in paradise?
345
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:03,979
I am sorry you had to witness
our heated discord.
346
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:07,330
Our neighbour Edith requires a
new method of conveyance.
347
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:08,984
Sonja has spoken out of turn.
348
00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:11,291
So, build her the fucking buggy.
That'd what I'd do.
349
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:14,859
It takes months to craft a
quality buggy.
350
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:18,124
Caleb can help.
He wants to learn.
351
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,952
Caleb is not ready.
352
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:24,565
Tell your friend she'll
have her buggy by Friday.
353
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:26,175
You are going to
build her a buggy?
354
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:27,176
Yeah.
355
00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:29,265
How?
356
00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:34,314
A used buggy?
357
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,359
Our craftsmanship
is all that we have.
358
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,405
We cannot allow the sale of
anything but the best.
359
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:41,190
Gosh, Olaf...
sounds like pride to me.
360
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:51,722
Have you even built
a buggy before?
361
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,985
Some new floorboards,
a couple of new wheels,
362
00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:55,552
this baby'll be good to go,
363
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:58,207
just like those go-karts I used
to build when I was a kid.
364
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:01,254
You... you stole those.
365
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,038
So?
366
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,213
Caleb can help me.
367
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:06,563
Uh, Olaf says my training
is not complete.
368
00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:07,695
Fuck Olaf.
369
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,523
You know what your problem is?
370
00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:12,482
All you Amish,
you got low self-esteem.
371
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:16,007
We are humble
in the eyes of God, Mr. Fitz.
372
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,793
You wanna win, Caleb?
You wanna be number one?
373
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:21,143
You gotta believe in yourself.
Christ, Sonja,
374
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,276
how many times did I tell you to
believe in yourself?
375
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:25,016
Whenever you wanted oral.
376
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:26,322
Every day.
377
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:27,976
Oral?
378
00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:29,282
I'll... explain later.
379
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:31,588
Much later. Never.
380
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:35,114
Caleb, are you awesome?
381
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,637
I believe I am.
382
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,291
Then say it.
383
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:40,162
I am... awesome.
384
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,859
Say it like
you fucking mean it!
385
00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:43,252
I'm fucking awesome!
386
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:46,386
Yeah! Fix that buggy!
387
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:57,310
It is indeed a fine buggy,
Sonja. Many thanks.
388
00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:05,318
Do you know what this means?
389
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:08,190
Every farm has an old wreck.
390
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,888
I can buy them;
Caleb can rebuild them...
391
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:13,195
You're gonna start
your own thing?
392
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:16,198
Is that so hard to believe?
393
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:19,201
I'm actually quite capable,
not that you would know.
394
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:22,204
I know you're capable...
and not just sexually.
395
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:23,858
Who am I kidding?
396
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:26,339
Nobody listens
to me here, either...
397
00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,906
especially Olaf.
398
00:19:28,906 --> 00:19:31,909
All they do is make fun of my
high cheek bones,
399
00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:33,259
and narrow hips.
400
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,217
Ah, these backwood fucks
401
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:37,045
wouldn't know a good
business opportunity
402
00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,481
if it buried its face
in your tits.
403
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:41,702
Thank you... I think.
404
00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:45,271
There's a reason
I came to find you,
405
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:49,318
and not just to
clear my name.
406
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:51,407
Have you ever wondered
if a decision you made
407
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:55,194
was the biggest mistake
of your life?
408
00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:12,907
Could someone please start?
409
00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:15,518
I believe you
must kiss one of us.
410
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:24,223
No offence.
411
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,225
Oh, none taken.
412
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:31,273
Oh... uh...
413
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,970
I'm confused by the mechanics.
414
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:35,625
Should my hands be on you,
415
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:38,324
or reaching around,
to my cousin?
416
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:43,154
Well, you hands-- Oh!--they may
wander wherever they like.
417
00:20:43,154 --> 00:20:45,287
Then I apologize in advance
418
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:47,420
if they are to grab where
they're not supposed to.
419
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:49,770
Don't apologize.
It is okay.
420
00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:55,906
[Giggling and moaning]
421
00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:05,916
Hey! You didn't even notice
I was gone!
422
00:21:05,916 --> 00:21:07,962
Fuck, man.
423
00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:18,581
Richard?
Richard, it's Friday.
424
00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:21,236
Time to clear your name.
425
00:21:21,236 --> 00:21:22,716
Oh... Richard...
426
00:21:22,716 --> 00:21:24,631
What?
427
00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:28,287
Sonja... the whole point
in staying here
428
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:31,638
was to learn a little lesson in
humility from the Amish.
429
00:21:31,638 --> 00:21:34,031
You've done nothing to make
amends with Sonja.
430
00:21:34,031 --> 00:21:35,163
I'd argue that.
431
00:21:35,163 --> 00:21:37,339
All you did was
manipulate her into sex.
432
00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:40,255
I am my own person,
thank you very much.
433
00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:44,128
Sonja... is this true?
434
00:21:44,128 --> 00:21:47,523
I am a strong,
independent woman,
435
00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:50,439
and I can make my own choices,
436
00:21:50,439 --> 00:21:53,181
even if that means sleeping
with an ex-boyfriend,
437
00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:56,053
while my fiancé...
438
00:21:56,053 --> 00:21:58,360
Oh, my God.
What have I done?
439
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:03,147
Olaf, please forgive me.
440
00:22:03,147 --> 00:22:06,542
Everything you touch,
you corrupt.
441
00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:11,330
I have just received word...
Edith has crashed her buggy.
442
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:14,637
She's lucky to still be alive.
443
00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:16,247
A condition which you
shall soon not share.
444
00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:20,339
Jesus, speak fucking English, chinstrap.
445
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:23,211
It's time to end this.
446
00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:27,171
I am the archangel of justice,
and I have come to smite thee.
447
00:22:27,171 --> 00:22:30,174
You tried to kill me before.
448
00:22:30,174 --> 00:22:32,438
You tried to kill all of us.
449
00:22:32,438 --> 00:22:35,528
Nope, just you, Fitzy.
450
00:22:35,528 --> 00:22:37,573
You held us all hostage,
451
00:22:37,573 --> 00:22:40,489
and terrorized everyone
I care about.
452
00:22:40,489 --> 00:22:44,841
How could you be so... so...
453
00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:46,321
so much like him?!
454
00:22:46,321 --> 00:22:48,323
I am nothing like him.
455
00:22:48,323 --> 00:22:51,195
While you were off,
testing your faith,
456
00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:53,763
I learned things on my Rumspringa...
457
00:22:53,763 --> 00:22:57,114
with the Christian
Patriot Militia.
458
00:22:57,114 --> 00:22:59,290
Shoot first...
459
00:22:59,290 --> 00:23:00,944
Pray later.
460
00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:04,252
I've only got a couple of days
left, and when I die,
461
00:23:04,252 --> 00:23:06,341
it's not gonna be in this
pile of cow shit.
462
00:23:06,341 --> 00:23:09,213
If you want to kill him,
463
00:23:09,213 --> 00:23:12,826
you're gonna have to
shoot me first.
464
00:23:12,826 --> 00:23:15,306
And me third!
465
00:23:17,308 --> 00:23:19,093
You...
466
00:23:19,093 --> 00:23:21,443
You would sacrifice yourself...
467
00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:22,444
for him?
468
00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:25,882
Deep down...
469
00:23:25,882 --> 00:23:28,798
I know he's worth saving.
470
00:23:39,069 --> 00:23:42,769
It's time for you to go.
471
00:23:42,769 --> 00:23:45,162
Elders will deal with you.
472
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:50,341
I'm alive.
I'm Amish, but alive.
473
00:23:50,341 --> 00:23:53,214
That's right. Sonja Lester.
474
00:23:53,214 --> 00:23:55,259
Thank you, goodbye.
475
00:23:57,305 --> 00:24:00,177
I just have to go to the police
station and file a report,
476
00:24:00,177 --> 00:24:01,962
but you'll be fine.
477
00:24:01,962 --> 00:24:04,791
I guess I'll do that on
"travel to the city day".
478
00:24:04,791 --> 00:24:08,925
Not today?
479
00:24:08,925 --> 00:24:13,190
Once I thought it was
the plan... my plan...
480
00:24:13,190 --> 00:24:17,020
for us to be together,
get married, have kids...
481
00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:19,240
Whoa... Kids...
482
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,243
But, now I know it'll
never work between us.
483
00:24:22,243 --> 00:24:26,247
Because I don't have a future.
484
00:24:26,247 --> 00:24:28,858
That, and you're
a bit of a selfish dick.
485
00:24:31,295 --> 00:24:34,211
I'm glad you're not dead.
486
00:24:34,211 --> 00:24:36,692
I'm glad you have Larry.
487
00:24:36,692 --> 00:24:38,389
He loves you as much as I do.
488
00:24:38,389 --> 00:24:41,305
You're already leaving me. You
gotta kick me in the nuts too?
489
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,757
What are you doing here?
490
00:24:57,757 --> 00:25:00,194
Sonja Lester just reported
herself alive.
491
00:25:00,194 --> 00:25:02,979
Richard Fitzpatrick's
off the hook.
492
00:25:02,979 --> 00:25:06,069
And let me guess,
you're going to confess.
493
00:25:06,069 --> 00:25:10,987
Nope. But you probably will.
494
00:25:10,987 --> 00:25:13,512
Chester, you didn't
frame anyone.
495
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:16,340
I make my own decisions, and I
decided to plant the knife.
496
00:25:16,340 --> 00:25:18,734
Did you really think
you could stop me?
497
00:25:20,388 --> 00:25:22,912
Just remember...
498
00:25:22,912 --> 00:25:26,350
I'm the boss now.
499
00:25:31,878 --> 00:25:34,924
There must be something
we can do,
500
00:25:34,924 --> 00:25:37,361
some action to ward off
your impending doom.
501
00:25:37,361 --> 00:25:39,450
We can't just give up, Richard.
502
00:25:42,497 --> 00:25:44,281
Which way?
503
00:25:48,938 --> 00:25:51,941
[Cheering]
504
00:25:51,941 --> 00:25:53,987
Definitely that way.
505
00:26:00,123 --> 00:26:02,125
Ladies, Richard Fitzpatrick.
506
00:26:02,125 --> 00:26:09,132
♪
507
00:26:09,132 --> 00:26:13,049
♪ Moon river
508
00:26:13,049 --> 00:26:16,226
♪ Wider than a mile
509
00:26:16,226 --> 00:26:20,056
♪ I'm crossing you in style
510
00:26:20,056 --> 00:26:24,844
♪ Some day
511
00:26:24,844 --> 00:26:29,805
♪ We're after the same
512
00:26:29,805 --> 00:26:34,680
♪ Rainbow's end
513
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,553
♪ Waitin' round the bend
514
00:26:38,553 --> 00:26:42,688
♪ My huckleberry friend
515
00:26:42,688 --> 00:26:47,127
♪ Moon river
516
00:26:47,127 --> 00:26:49,782
♪ And me
517
00:26:49,782 --> 00:27:03,273
♪
518
00:27:04,231 --> 00:27:07,974
♪ Waitin' round the bend
519
00:27:07,974 --> 00:27:12,108
♪ My huckleberry friend
520
00:27:12,108 --> 00:27:16,635
♪ Moon river
521
00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:19,507
♪ And me
38022
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