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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:27,462 ♪ 2 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,117 FITZ, NARRATING: Take it from Fitzy, kids. 3 00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:32,293 There's only one secret to staying alive 4 00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:33,685 in this messed up world, 5 00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:37,559 and that's taking care of numero uno, 6 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:41,215 keeping track, being in control. 7 00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,434 Self-control is a martial art. 8 00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:46,002 Total control of your emotions, 9 00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:51,181 behaviour and desire takes training, practice, focus. 10 00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,400 What the fuck? 11 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,097 Saving that last inch of Scotch 12 00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:57,274 for the next morning: self-control. 13 00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:58,841 Passing up a blowjob 14 00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:02,279 because she might have herpes: self-control. 15 00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:04,890 Convincing some guy with a shotgun 16 00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:05,978 that you didn't just fuck his wife, 17 00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:08,198 without pissing your pants, 18 00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:11,114 Frank Sinatra wrote a song about that one. 19 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,551 [Country Western tune playing over speaker] 20 00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:15,379 What the fuck? 21 00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:21,646 [Engine roaring] 22 00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:24,127 So maybe some weird shit's been happening, 23 00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:27,174 shit I had nothing to do with. [Siren wailing] 24 00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,001 It's going to take a lot more than a run of bad luck 25 00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:32,527 and blackouts to take down Richard Fitzpatrick. 26 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:35,182 Motherfucker! 27 00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:41,144 ♪ 28 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,972 ♪ Without you 29 00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:47,063 ♪ I'd find my smile 30 00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:49,848 ♪ Without you 31 00:01:49,848 --> 00:01:52,329 ♪ I'd have won by a mile 32 00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,853 ♪ Without you 33 00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:58,466 ♪ Oh, life would be so grand ♪ 34 00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:00,511 ♪ Without you 35 00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:02,731 ♪ I'm half a man 36 00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:06,343 ♪ Without you 37 00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:13,394 ♪ Without you... 38 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:18,050 ♪ Without you 39 00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:30,454 Oh, Richard! Oh, thank God I found you. 40 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:31,499 Now it's you turn to hide. 41 00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:32,717 Go. I'll count to a trillion. 42 00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:34,023 This is no time for jokes. 43 00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:35,894 You've been missing for two days, 44 00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:38,201 and a supernatural fatwa is no time 45 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:39,115 to go on a bender, mister. 46 00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:40,247 Sonja is missing. 47 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,987 Sonja is not fucking missing. 48 00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,989 She's just trying to teach me a lesson. 49 00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:45,600 The dealership is crawling with police officers. 50 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,167 Fuck, Albertan? 51 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,169 You cannot drown your problems in alcohol. 52 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,605 God, I wish I could. 53 00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:51,867 I'd start by drowning you. 54 00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,042 [Phone ringing] 55 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,351 "Farmington Detention Facility"? 56 00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:59,353 RECORDING: You have a collect call from-- 57 00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:03,183 Get me the fuck out of here! It's Mom. 58 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,445 Oh, fuck. 59 00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:05,924 Just what I need today. 60 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:07,187 Is it Sonja? Is she all right? 61 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,232 Listen, fuck face, Sonja is fine. 62 00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:10,494 Every time we break up, 63 00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:12,017 she goes into hiding for a week. 64 00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:14,106 Or dark forces are conspiring against you, 65 00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:16,283 and Sonja's their latest casualty. 66 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,632 I need a drink. 67 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:18,720 No, no! 68 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,809 You need to rest and clear your head. 69 00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,202 No, cum puddle. 70 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,987 What I need is to get some rest and clear my head, 71 00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:27,337 so I can figure out what to fucking do next. 72 00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,035 Give me that fucking bottle! 73 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,254 No, no, wait, wait, wait. 74 00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:33,256 Only-- Only if you stay here, 75 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,344 where I can keep track of you. 76 00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:36,041 Just-- Just let me deal with this. 77 00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:37,956 And how are you going to do that? 78 00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,437 I know. 79 00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:41,830 I'll find that fortune-teller. 80 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,440 Yeah, because there must be more to this prophecy: 81 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,050 a loophole, another clue. 82 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,270 Here! I'm on it. 83 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,925 Get me a burrito.[Door closing] 84 00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:50,926 LARRY: Extra salsa? 85 00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:55,365 What the fuck do you think? 86 00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:56,540 Ugh! 87 00:03:56,540 --> 00:04:04,331 ♪ 88 00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,898 MEGHAN: Yes, I found Sonja's car, 89 00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:09,074 and I can assure as assistant office manger-- 90 00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,293 She was missing for how long 91 00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:12,208 before anyone noticed before she was gone? 92 00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:14,036 Look, you know how crazy broads get 93 00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,733 when they get that monthly Rorschach test 94 00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:16,734 in their panties. 95 00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:17,866 Just hurry up. 96 00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,084 Get out of here. 97 00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,521 You're frightening off the customers. 98 00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:21,739 Oh, I agree, Daddy. 99 00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:24,307 This is really not good for business so-- 100 00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,135 I meant you. 101 00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:27,267 What? 102 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,268 Ugh! 103 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,620 That rodeo tramp couldn't find her ass with a map. 104 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,056 She'll find something. 105 00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:36,972 Your son isn't as smart as he thinks he is. 106 00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,408 When he was in kindergarten, 107 00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,758 that knob gobbler flunked recess. 108 00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,934 [Giggling] His favourite colour was four. 109 00:04:42,934 --> 00:04:46,155 He thinks Planet of the Apes is a documentary. 110 00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,549 He thinks vagina is a city in Saskatchewan. 111 00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:51,508 He thinks General Motors is the name of a soldier. 112 00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,249 He's so stupid. 113 00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:57,209 He's... so... 114 00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:59,734 stupid. 115 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,823 Ew, really? 116 00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:02,998 You and the petrified penis? 117 00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:04,826 What a cute couple you make. 118 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:06,218 He's more of a man than you'll ever be. 119 00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,525 You got a lot of balls showing your face in here. 120 00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:10,135 I got a lot more balls than you. 121 00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:11,876 You're letting skirts fight your battles now? 122 00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:14,618 You've been harassing Dot for weeks now. 123 00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:16,707 Now I'm missing my favourite receptionist. 124 00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:18,143 I wonder what the police will think 125 00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,275 when I tell them about the problems 126 00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:21,538 you two were having, the arguments. 127 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,758 She was distraught over you. 128 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,412 She's not missing, you human urinal. 129 00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:28,545 She's at home, crying into her Ben Jerry's. 130 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:30,286 Yeah, you stick to that story. 131 00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:33,071 You'll be a prison-shower luffa by the end of the week. 132 00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:34,334 Now get the fuck off my lot. 133 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,031 I got a stake in this fucking dealership. 134 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,380 I'm a partner. 135 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:41,253 Mm, from what I remember, a very small partner. 136 00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:44,735 [Laughing] 137 00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:48,696 Call me Mom. 138 00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:51,220 [Phone ringing] 139 00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:55,572 You want to play tough, old man? 140 00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:58,923 I'll hit you with an old bat. 141 00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,143 [Door opening] 142 00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,362 Josh! Josh! 143 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,406 I need your help. 144 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,016 No. No-- Oh, God. 145 00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:07,062 It's for Richard, a mission. 146 00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:09,020 If you want to get rid of that two-faced ex-girlfriend 147 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,282 of mine, I'm down. 148 00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:11,762 If you want to get nachos, I'm also down. 149 00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,547 But I rather get rid of Dot and then get some nachos. 150 00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,592 Okay. I've already been working on a plan. 151 00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,202 Now, the table is the dealership. Good. 152 00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:19,030 - This beer bottle is Fitzy. - Yeah. 153 00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,467 These pliers are Dot. 154 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,599 - This used teabag is you. - Why am I the--? 155 00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:23,600 And this is me. 156 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:24,688 Now, Dot leaves the dealership 157 00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:27,256 at 5:00 p.m. exactly every night. 158 00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:29,040 I follow her out. 159 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,042 [Imitating flipping sounds] 160 00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,217 When she drives away-- 161 00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,871 [Imitating engine roaring] 162 00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:35,133 I signal to you guys that she's gone. 163 00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,526 Guys, she's gone! 164 00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:37,701 [Imitating machine-gun fire] 165 00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,747 [Imitating explosion] 166 00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:40,748 [Imitating flipping sounds] 167 00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:42,314 [Imitating explosion] 168 00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:44,186 And then you, me and Fitz all run back in the dealership. 169 00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,535 [Imitating rough conversation] 170 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:46,536 "I'm tall." "Shut the fuck up, Larry." 171 00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:47,537 "Ring, a-ding, ding." 172 00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:51,236 And then we lock the doors. 173 00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:56,633 Lock ourselves inside the dealership? 174 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,026 That's your plan? 175 00:06:58,026 --> 00:06:59,114 Well, it's Plan A. 176 00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:01,072 Still got Plan B, C, D and F. 177 00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:03,248 Okay, well, what's Plan E?Plan E? 178 00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:05,163 Jesus, Larry, I thought you of all people 179 00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:07,557 would appreciate the value of human life. You're-- 180 00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,646 Josh, Josh, I need your help for Richard! 181 00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:11,822 If you want to get rid 182 00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:13,302 of that two-faced ex-girlfriend of mine, I'm down. 183 00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:15,304 If you want to get nachos, I'm also down. 184 00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:18,829 Shut your mouth! 185 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:21,832 [Keys jangling] 186 00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:24,182 [Buzzer sounding] 187 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:34,236 ♪ 188 00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:44,246 - That will be all. - Yes, ma'am. 189 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:50,557 "Smoking can harm or kill your baby." 190 00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,778 Now they tell me. 191 00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:57,389 Shoplifting, huh? 192 00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:58,869 [Fitz laughing] 193 00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,175 Amateur. 194 00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:02,351 Support hose aren't cheap, kid. 195 00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:03,874 You want out of here? 196 00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,963 Sign this. 197 00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:08,792 I need temporary proxy control of your share of the dealership. 198 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,664 We all need something, baby. 199 00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,361 Ken's got himself a new psycho harpy. 200 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,667 They're trying to squeeze me 201 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:16,191 out of my dealership and have me arrested. 202 00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:19,368 I'll put that on the top of the list of shit I don't care about. 203 00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,196 I'm just trying to level the playing field. 204 00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:22,937 Ken's got a psycho harpy. 205 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:25,156 I need one too. Fire with fire. 206 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:26,636 You know the deal. 207 00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,032 I'm the only one that can control 208 00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:34,165 that bastard you call a father. 209 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:35,602 What's in it for me? 210 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:40,563 How about I don't leave you here to rot alone? 211 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:50,573 ♪ 212 00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:15,380 [Gears cranking] 213 00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:16,425 Albertan? 214 00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,079 What, are you trying to kill me? 215 00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:19,428 Don't tempt me. 216 00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,473 [Tires screeching] 217 00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:30,134 Darn it, Richard. I told you to stay home. 218 00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:31,266 Oh, dear God! 219 00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:33,268 Still hanging out with the beanstalk? 220 00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,183 Pays the bills. 221 00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:37,577 Uh, can I get you something? 222 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,621 A drink? 223 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:41,189 Maybe a bus ticket? 224 00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,973 I think I'm going to freshen up. 225 00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:44,235 Where's your coke? 226 00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:45,628 Should be some behind the soap dish. 227 00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,108 Okay. [Sniffling] 228 00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:50,241 Richard, what is that woman doing here? 229 00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:52,374 Dot Foxley's making a romance play for Ken. 230 00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:54,202 She gets a share of the dealership; I'm fucked. 231 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:56,291 That still doesn't explain your mother's presence. 232 00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:58,162 I'm going to lock Ken in a room with that cock dragon 233 00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,295 until he swears off women or kills himself. 234 00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:02,384 Either way, I win. 235 00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:04,473 Okay, okay, Richard, we need to concentrate 236 00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:06,301 on finding that fortune-teller. 237 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:08,651 Now, look, I've learned that many "carnival people" 238 00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:12,220 spend most of their off season in a town not far from here. 239 00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,221 Now, if you're not going to listen to me and rest, 240 00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:14,222 we should check that out. 241 00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:15,615 I just blew most of my bank roll 242 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,225 bailing out that sausage oven, 243 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,009 and I still haven't paid the Lebanese mob 244 00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:20,184 their weekly sanitation fee. 245 00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:21,533 If she bolts, I'm dead. 246 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:23,753 Have you forgotten what happened 247 00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,494 the last time we saw Elaine? 248 00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:26,713 You know what she's like. 249 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,062 She only cares about one thing. 250 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,672 That's right, Elaine! 251 00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:31,674 Uh, let's talk compensation. 252 00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:33,023 And money! 253 00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:34,024 Didn't I just bail you out? 254 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,504 Mama needs some pocket change, 255 00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:36,679 10 large up front. 256 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,463 Two now, the rest when Dot Foxley's 257 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,248 a bad stain on the bed sheets. 258 00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:45,514 Time for Mama to earn her money the old-fashioned way, 259 00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:47,124 by actually earning it. 260 00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:48,386 Trust me, kid. 261 00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:51,955 I know how to push your old man's buttons. 262 00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:55,437 Your paying your mother to have sex with your father? 263 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,569 Oh, Richard. 264 00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:58,875 Relax, Larry. 265 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:02,531 How do you think they met in the first place? 266 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:10,626 Hi, we are a little short-staffed today. 267 00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:12,062 Someone will be right with you. 268 00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:15,326 Okay. 269 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,327 WOMAN: I like it. 270 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:20,114 MAN: I like it as well... 271 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:23,639 Well played, Richard Fitzpatrick. 272 00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:31,168 Darling, there's something I have to tell you. 273 00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:32,735 Cut the crap, legs. 274 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:33,867 You're not the first broad 275 00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:36,086 to try and play me by setting up house. 276 00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:37,174 And since the last one left me 277 00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:39,568 with two ungrateful abominations, 278 00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:41,352 I'm not interested. 279 00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:43,311 You don't want to call me your girlfriend? 280 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:45,574 Fine, I'm not your girlfriend. 281 00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:47,750 Call me your pecker holster. 282 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,230 Call me your whore. 283 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,275 Call me Elaine. I don't care. 284 00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:55,149 Just promise me one thing. Call me. 285 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:58,761 We could have a life together, Ken Fitzpatrick. 286 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,895 You, out. 287 00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:04,332 We'll continue our conversation later. 288 00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:07,161 Elaine. 289 00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:08,640 That's it? 290 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,643 No, "Get out out my sight, you desiccated penis glove"? 291 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,167 You got your divorce papers. 292 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,909 You stole 25% of my dealership. 293 00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:18,302 So unless you're here to suck my blood-- 294 00:12:18,302 --> 00:12:19,521 I was thinking we could get liquored up 295 00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:22,611 and then go at each other like rabid dogs. 296 00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:27,268 Then go at each other like rabid dogs. 297 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,145 Scotch? 298 00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:37,452 What is that? Some kind of a fucking joke? 299 00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:40,194 Oh, my God. 300 00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:42,457 Have you still got your panties in a twist 301 00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:45,286 over that stupid bottle of Scotch? 302 00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:46,809 It wasn't a stupid bottle. 303 00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:49,116 It was a goddamn collector's item! 304 00:12:49,116 --> 00:12:51,771 Oh, get over it, Fitzpatrick. 305 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,163 Life is too short. 306 00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:55,209 Foxley! DOT: Yes, sir? 307 00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,820 Do your job. Take out the trash. 308 00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,779 That's a good way to lose an arm, sweetheart. 309 00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:18,145 You mentioned the fucking Scotch? 310 00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:19,189 You think he'd be over it by now. 311 00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:20,930 Oh, fuck. Shows what you know. 312 00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:23,150 That Scotch would be worth a fortune by now. 313 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,848 Enough to get those Leb mobsters off my ass. 314 00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:27,328 I could hole up somewhere nice and quiet, 315 00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:29,112 and just wait for the fucking Beaver Moon. 316 00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:30,461 The Beaver-- What the fuck? 317 00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,289 Don't worry about it. Just do your fucking job. 318 00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,378 Don't fill your diapers. I'll get it done. 319 00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:35,640 Not if you're back in jail you won't. 320 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,294 You wouldn't dare. 321 00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:39,514 You're the one who taught me to never get stuck with a lemon. 322 00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:40,907 You ungrateful bastard. 323 00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:42,082 And you wonder why I left? 324 00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:43,431 Oh, I know why you left. 325 00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:44,998 Mommy, loves you, honey. 326 00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:47,435 She just loves vodka a little more. 327 00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:49,045 For five years I thought vodka was my brother 328 00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:51,047 you kept in the cupboard. 329 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,353 You know what? 330 00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:53,223 When you're done strolling down memory lane, 331 00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:55,356 wake me up. Memory lane. 332 00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:59,708 Memory lane. 333 00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,014 If we can remind the old man 334 00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,493 of what a misery it is being married, 335 00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:03,886 Dot won't stand a chance. 336 00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:06,149 Family trip like the old days? 337 00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,716 Yeah. 338 00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:09,892 Well, good luck getting that lard ass out of his recliner. 339 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:12,373 That's easy. 340 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,201 Daddy, tax man! 341 00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:22,470 ♪ 342 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:24,907 See, I'm good for things. 343 00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:26,213 I'm helpful. 344 00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:27,779 I'm a valuable part of this business. 345 00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,826 Over here. Come on. Come on! 346 00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:35,744 Elaine? What the fuck is this shit? 347 00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:38,094 Mom? So, what, there's no tax man? 348 00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:40,140 This is why you made me lie to Daddy? 349 00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,141 What the fuck? 350 00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:42,446 Nobody tells me anything! 351 00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:45,188 Hello, uh... 352 00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:46,450 Meghan. 353 00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,148 - I always hated that name. - Seriously, Daddy. 354 00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:50,106 I had no idea. 355 00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:52,369 You fuckers really think you can kidnap me? 356 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,545 Who the fuck would pay to get you back? 357 00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,330 I demand answers. Why are you even here? 358 00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:57,940 Well, your brother needed help. 359 00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,289 Oh, so you just come running? Hah! 360 00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,682 What about me? What about my needs? 361 00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:01,988 Ten grand, she's all yours. 362 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,859 Would somebody just fucking shoot me? 363 00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:05,295 You're not getting off that easy, old man. 364 00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:06,688 Just drive. 365 00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:07,907 MEGHAN: We're going somewhere? 366 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,038 You never told me we're going somewhere. 367 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:10,257 You're trying to leave me behind again. 368 00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:12,607 MEGHAN: That's just great. Mom? Daddy? 369 00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:15,610 I swear to fucking God! 370 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:16,872 [Tires screeching] 371 00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:24,967 [Bird squawking] 372 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,360 Her name is Laverne, 373 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:31,365 and she lives in a gypsy caravan? 374 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,106 Never heard of her. 375 00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:34,411 Okay, okay, well, if you do come across her, 376 00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:37,240 please, give me a call, okay? 377 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:42,245 Because a man's life and that of his conscience depends on it. 378 00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:43,855 [Sighing] Freak. 379 00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:47,859 I would pay to see not to watch her shave. 380 00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:49,513 We should have found Laverne by now. 381 00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:52,255 God knows what Richard and his mother are up to. 382 00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:54,301 This is not good, Josh. 383 00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:55,215 This is really bad. 384 00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,564 I have memories of Ulie. 385 00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,174 He was a good friend. 386 00:15:58,174 --> 00:15:59,610 At least I thought he was. 387 00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:01,221 Turns out Ulie was a double agent, 388 00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,962 and I was ordered to terminate him. 389 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:06,226 As I was tailing him, I got surrounded, ambushed. 390 00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:08,271 So I barricaded myself in this farmhouse. 391 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,665 And he was there. 392 00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:13,146 I couldn't do it, man. 393 00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:17,498 I c-couldn't kill him. 394 00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,542 Because he was your friend. 395 00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:20,980 Because he was a zombie, man. 396 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:25,245 Because he was a zombie. 397 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:35,298 ♪ 398 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,788 The old Fitzpatrick shithole. 399 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:49,051 The happiest day of my life was here, 400 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:52,228 the day I left you two crap factories. 401 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,274 [Sighing] 402 00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:01,150 I remember this tree. 403 00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:02,412 I used to try and climb it everyday, 404 00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:03,935 and everyday the old man used to tell me 405 00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:04,980 I'd never make it. 406 00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:09,332 Oh, my gosh, are you going to cry? 407 00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:12,118 Hey, everyone, Dick's going to cry! 408 00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,250 It wasn't just a bottle of Scotch! 409 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:17,601 - Oh, Jesus, here we go. - ELAINE: It was your ego. 410 00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:20,126 Remember the last time they fought about the Scotch? 411 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:23,738 Yeah, it was the day that Elaine left, perfect. 412 00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:26,175 How is that perfect? 413 00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:27,176 KEN: That Scotch was from the-- 414 00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:29,004 Kennedy Inauguration Ball. 415 00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:32,268 It had the executive seal on it. 416 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:35,184 That Scotch was part of history. 417 00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:37,317 You know how much that bottle cost me? 418 00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,319 Nothing. You stole it. 419 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,450 And you know how I know? 420 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:41,930 Because you never shut up about it. 421 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:44,280 That bottle of Scotch ruined my childhood. 422 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,586 [Sighing] 423 00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:48,110 With no mother to teach me about boys or fashion 424 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:51,113 or what to do when my stocking went too far-- 425 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,506 You were better off without her. 426 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:54,160 You maybe. Not me. 427 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,162 You know how I learned about sex? 428 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,902 Sneaking into your room and looking at your porn. 429 00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:58,947 Yeah, I know. 430 00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:00,253 I read about it in your diary. 431 00:18:00,253 --> 00:18:02,037 You're not supposed to look in my diary! 432 00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:04,039 FITZ: And you were supposed to stay out of my fucking room! 433 00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:06,302 You loved that Scotch more than you loved me. 434 00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:08,957 Why wouldn't I? 435 00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:10,654 Scotch keeps me warm. 436 00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:13,788 Scotch makes me feel good about myself. 437 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,181 Scotch gives me pleasure. 438 00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:18,923 And that bottle, 439 00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,142 that bottle would be like sucking 440 00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,665 on the tit of a goddess. 441 00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:22,710 Ooh! 442 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,146 Just like always, 443 00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:25,887 blame all your problems on Elaine. 444 00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:29,151 You did it on purpose. 445 00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:31,675 MEGHAN: You knew Dad would blame Mom. 446 00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:35,331 I have no idea what you're talking about. 447 00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:36,463 Daddy! 448 00:18:36,463 --> 00:18:39,248 Mom didn't take that bottle of Scotch. 449 00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:40,858 It was Dick. 450 00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:44,514 Teach you to read my fucking diary. 451 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:52,435 LAVERNE: I heard you were looking for me. 452 00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:54,611 Where did you come from? 453 00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:58,093 My van. 454 00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,834 Did the spirits send you? 455 00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:02,358 If by "spirits," you mean Marty at the gas station, 456 00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:05,187 then, yes, the spirits sent me. 457 00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,797 What do you want? 458 00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,277 Oh, well, it's-- It's about Richard. 459 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:09,278 See, it's almost the Beaver Moon, 460 00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:10,627 but he still refuses to search 461 00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:13,239 for his shadowy figure, let alone make amends. 462 00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:16,198 Oh, right, Fitz. 463 00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:20,202 Mm. 464 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,943 Contacting the spirit world 465 00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:26,208 requires a distinct sensual interaction on our part. 466 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,341 And you're cute 467 00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:29,211 but you're not "freebie" cute. 468 00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:30,212 You feel me? 469 00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:33,737 You don't feel me. 470 00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:36,218 I need the big O in order to talk to the dead. 471 00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,002 Oprah? 472 00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,134 The other big O. 473 00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:41,745 Oh, Oklahoma. 474 00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:44,008 200 bucks, save your friend. 475 00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:47,055 Yeah, that's a very generous offer, Laverne, 476 00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:48,187 but I don't have two-- 477 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,668 - Josh? - Oh, looks like it's all on you. 478 00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:53,104 Oh, no, but you know what? 479 00:19:53,104 --> 00:19:55,194 I'm actually a very old-fashioned kind of guy. 480 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,239 And we haven't even gone on a date or held hands 481 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,546 or laughed about something that we both liked 482 00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:02,070 but that nobody else in the world did. 483 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:05,204 I have a mattress in the back. 484 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,597 Yeah, yeah, look, it's not that I'm not attracted. 485 00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:08,598 It's just this whole-- 486 00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,165 How do I put it? 487 00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:12,559 Yeah, unwashed public-toilet seat quality to this. 488 00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:14,256 [Laughing] 489 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:17,128 It's sanitized. 490 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:21,176 Oh, I can do this for Richard. 491 00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:23,483 No, no! 492 00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,311 I am so sorry, Laverne. 493 00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:26,573 Please, don't take it personally. 494 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:27,922 You're a very beautiful woman. 495 00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:30,925 Who we just gave $200 to. Origami. 496 00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:32,579 Then there's nothing I can do for you. 497 00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:35,538 Please, there must be some other way. 498 00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:38,411 [Sighing] 499 00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:40,326 What the fuck did you do with my Scotch? 500 00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:41,892 How the fuck should I know? 501 00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,242 I was seven years old. 502 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,852 Oh, why am I not surprised? 503 00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:48,812 Every broken vase, every torched couch, you. 504 00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:50,423 Right, no one else is to blame. 505 00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:55,254 You know, parenting requires more than scowling and smoking? 506 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,255 I didn't have a childhood because of you. 507 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,473 I ought to sue your ass. 508 00:20:57,473 --> 00:20:59,301 KEN: Fuck suing! I'm going to kill him! 509 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:00,694 You know how much that bottle was worth? 510 00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:02,696 FITZ, MEGHAN AND ELAINE: Yes! 511 00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:05,264 You know what? Fuck you, fuck you and fuck you. 512 00:21:07,048 --> 00:21:08,397 This is all your fault. 513 00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:10,094 The little bastard framed me. 514 00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:11,705 He got the crazy from you! 515 00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:12,923 What'd he get from you? 516 00:21:12,923 --> 00:21:14,316 The premature ejaculation? 517 00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:15,578 Oh, that's right. 518 00:21:15,578 --> 00:21:19,147 It's always Richard, Richard, Richard! 519 00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:21,236 [Lighter clicking] 520 00:21:21,236 --> 00:21:31,290 ♪ 521 00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:38,427 X marks the spot. 522 00:21:44,128 --> 00:21:47,175 [Van creaking] 523 00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:48,263 Anything? 524 00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:49,351 LAVERNE: This would go a lot faster 525 00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:50,787 if you stop talking. 526 00:21:50,787 --> 00:21:52,485 Sorry. 527 00:21:52,485 --> 00:21:53,747 How about now? 528 00:21:53,747 --> 00:21:56,358 LAVERNE: Shut up. 529 00:21:56,358 --> 00:22:01,885 Oh. Oh. 530 00:22:01,885 --> 00:22:04,148 Ah. 531 00:22:04,148 --> 00:22:06,673 Okay. 532 00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:12,287 Ugh, that was the most unsatisfying 200 I've ever made. 533 00:22:12,287 --> 00:22:13,810 Yeah, yeah, yeah, what did the spirits say? 534 00:22:13,810 --> 00:22:15,290 Not much. 535 00:22:15,290 --> 00:22:16,770 They made fun of you for not being able to seal the deal. 536 00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:19,207 And then they told me 537 00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:22,166 the shadowy figure is closer than you think, 538 00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:24,212 and to keep watching for the signs. 539 00:22:24,212 --> 00:22:25,518 No, but we've already seen them. 540 00:22:25,518 --> 00:22:27,520 The train-track hickey, the glass, the fire. 541 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,739 Not a hickey, train tracks. 542 00:22:29,739 --> 00:22:31,306 Spirits are very literal. 543 00:22:31,306 --> 00:22:32,351 Yeah, Larry. 544 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,265 Could you please ask the spirits 545 00:22:34,265 --> 00:22:36,790 to be a little more specific? 546 00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:39,662 Sure, there's a bank machine the next town over. 547 00:22:39,662 --> 00:22:41,969 Oh. 548 00:22:44,972 --> 00:22:46,974 "Closer than you think"? 549 00:22:46,974 --> 00:22:50,107 Oh, no, Elaine. 550 00:22:50,107 --> 00:22:51,544 So what did the spirits say about me? 551 00:22:51,544 --> 00:22:53,067 LARRY: Josh, we have to go get Richard. 552 00:22:53,067 --> 00:22:54,938 Tell me later. 553 00:22:54,938 --> 00:22:56,026 [Sighing] 554 00:22:56,026 --> 00:23:06,167 ♪ 555 00:23:13,261 --> 00:23:17,004 Holy shit. 556 00:23:17,004 --> 00:23:18,745 Keep your mouth shut, and I'll split it with you. 557 00:23:18,745 --> 00:23:20,007 I hate Scotch. 558 00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:21,008 But you love money. 559 00:23:21,008 --> 00:23:22,792 What do you say? 80/20? 560 00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:24,228 Daddy, Richard found your bottle! 561 00:23:24,228 --> 00:23:25,229 No, no, shh! 562 00:23:25,229 --> 00:23:27,014 Shut-- 563 00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:28,798 Give me that bottle, you ungrateful little shit! 564 00:23:28,798 --> 00:23:30,191 You want it? Fire Dot. 565 00:23:30,191 --> 00:23:31,366 - What? - You heard me. 566 00:23:31,366 --> 00:23:33,107 I want her out of our lives, or I'll-- 567 00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:34,282 No, no, no! Fine. 568 00:23:34,282 --> 00:23:35,414 She's toast. 569 00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:37,198 Now give me. 570 00:23:39,330 --> 00:23:40,506 Thanks for your help, Mom. 571 00:23:40,506 --> 00:23:41,768 [Elaine gasping] 572 00:23:57,174 --> 00:24:00,264 Stupid shit-fuck. 573 00:24:00,264 --> 00:24:02,266 First cancer, now my fucking Scotch. 574 00:24:02,266 --> 00:24:03,703 Cancer? 575 00:24:03,703 --> 00:24:05,748 Oh, so that's why you've been going gaga 576 00:24:05,748 --> 00:24:08,447 after some skirt and whining about your mortality. 577 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:09,883 Cancer? Boo-hoo. 578 00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:12,712 Breasts, skin, ass. 579 00:24:12,712 --> 00:24:14,975 A slice, a little chemo, good as new. 580 00:24:14,975 --> 00:24:19,196 Down a nut. 581 00:24:19,196 --> 00:24:23,462 You are Ken fucking Fitzpatrick. 582 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:26,073 You're twice the man with one nut 583 00:24:26,073 --> 00:24:29,293 than junior could ever be with four. 584 00:24:29,293 --> 00:24:31,731 You always had a way to cheer me up. 585 00:24:31,731 --> 00:24:34,821 Shut up and fuck me. 586 00:24:34,821 --> 00:24:35,865 Oh! 587 00:24:41,654 --> 00:24:43,307 ♪ Something Oh, Ken. 588 00:24:43,307 --> 00:24:45,222 ♪ Happens to me 589 00:24:45,222 --> 00:24:48,182 Mm. 590 00:24:48,182 --> 00:24:52,229 Are they eating each other? 591 00:24:52,229 --> 00:24:56,233 I think they're kissing. 592 00:24:56,233 --> 00:24:59,541 ♪ A strange kind of chemical change ♪ 593 00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:03,197 ♪ Goes rushing through me [Groaning] 594 00:25:03,197 --> 00:25:07,288 ♪ I know that mysterious glow ♪ 595 00:25:07,288 --> 00:25:09,725 ♪ Means you'll appeal 596 00:25:09,725 --> 00:25:11,292 ♪ And, darling 597 00:25:11,292 --> 00:25:15,818 ♪ Something happens to me 598 00:25:15,818 --> 00:25:17,777 ♪ In your eyes 599 00:25:17,777 --> 00:25:18,865 ♪ When I feel 600 00:25:18,865 --> 00:25:20,954 I call dibs on his watch. 601 00:25:20,954 --> 00:25:25,045 ♪ You're trembling too 602 00:25:25,045 --> 00:25:28,265 ♪ I can tell you've been caught ♪ 603 00:25:28,265 --> 00:25:29,266 ♪ In the spell 604 00:25:29,266 --> 00:25:32,618 ♪ That I am under 605 00:25:32,618 --> 00:25:36,360 ♪ We gaze into each other's eyes ♪ 606 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:39,363 ♪ In breathless wonder 607 00:25:39,363 --> 00:25:43,803 ♪ To see that when something happens to me 608 00:25:43,803 --> 00:25:48,851 ♪ It happens to you 609 00:25:51,288 --> 00:25:56,250 ♪ It happens to you 610 00:25:56,250 --> 00:26:06,390 ♪ 42273

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